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 Author Thread: (M)anorexia? Who'd have thunk?
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
(M)anorexia? Who'd have thunk?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:07:22 PM

woobytoosday, msg.21
...I don't think one gender *owns* it. Nor ever has.


My first awareness of the behaviors that are now collectively known as "eating disorders" came as a young child in the early/mid-60s--and at that time the only people I knew who exhibited these behaviors were men. Not women--men.

I had a dad who liked to play the ponies and had dreams of one day raising/training racehorses. He also intended that at least one of his three daughters (I'm the oldest) was going to be the first successful female jockey, probably in part to help pay for the horses. Fortunately for us, nature laughed in his face when each of his skinny but incredibly strong little girls gained at least six inches and thirty to fifty pounds within a year or so of puberty hitting.

Jockeys were only the first group of men that I observed who vomited, used laxatives, refused to eat, etc. to "control" their weight--I soon noticed similar behavior in many of the groups listed in the Naomi Wolf excerpt quoted by Wooby, most noticably wrestlers, boxers, runners, and dancers.

Yet at this time none of my female friends, family, or acquantances were doing this--until the early 70s, when they were encouraged, indeed exhorted by boyfriends, brothers, etc., who were in one or another of these categories, to forget diet and exercise in lieu of this "easy" way....and from there the practice spread, unfortunately, along with the idea that stick figures like Twiggy's were the truly desirable female shape.

I definitely thank the Goddess that during my formative years the "ideal" womanly shape was embodied by women like Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, or Mae West, not Twiggy, Kate Moss, or Callista Flockhart.

BigDaddyJinx, the fact that you were unaware of "manorexia" doesn't mean it wasn't here all along.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Overdraft fees
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:57:05 PM
My bank charges $37.50 per overdraft and then an additional $7.50 per day per overdraft after the first day. Needless to say, I keep close track of my funds.

Many, if not most, banks have changed how they apply your incoming checks/debits/charges.

Used to be, if you had multiple items come in the same day and not enough funds in your account, the bank would start with the smallest amounts first, so that you had to pay overdrafts on the smallest number of transactions. For example, you have $100 in your account and checks for $10, $15, $20, $25, $30, and $70, totalling $170, all came in the same day. The bank would enter the 5 smaller amounts first, taking up your $100 balance and then charge you one overdraft fee, for the $70 check, if they honored it.

Also, many banks would give you a courtesy call, and if you had the funds in by "close of business day" which was usually 3PM regardless of how late they stayed open, then they wouldn't assess any fees. Those days are long gone.

Then, when electronic banking became the usual, money coming out of your account would be deducted in the order the transactions came into the bank,the instant they hit. In the above scenario, that would mean that you could have anywhere from 1, like above, to 4 overdraft fees--if the $70 and $30 (or $ 25 ) items hit first.

Now a lot of banks are once again prioritizing the order they register amounts, only now they are purposely taking biggest amounts first so as to maximize the amount they can charge you--4 charges in this case.


Settleforthis, msg.12

....checks do not post until AT LEAST the next day and often more than one day later.


Be aware that most checks these days are also electronically submitted, unless you are writing them to a very small business, such as mine, or an individual. Almost all larger retailers/companies now use electronic submission for checks. No more day or two "breathing zone" to be able to get money into the account if you discover that you have insufficient funds. Especially if your check is put through an electronic register, they are deducted almost as fast as debits and charges are, which is virtually instantaneously. I know this because I once bought something at Office Max, then stopped at my bank three blocks away and made a deposit on the way into my shop, only to find that I was already overdrawn. In my case, I spoke to the manager and got the fee reversed because of my excellent record with the bank, but now I make sure that I don't use my card or my checks unless I already have the funds in my account.

Yet if I have to get a refund and have used my card as as charge instead of debit (which I do whenever possible because instead of costing me $.25 per transaction, I get "Visa check card rewards"--free money--that way) or a check, I have to wait seven to ten business days for the refund amount to appear back into my account. In other words, the merchant and/or bank get free use of my (and everyone else's in the same situation) moneys for up to two full weeks.

Imagine how much interest accrues for the merchant/bank when you consider the vast number of refunds that are handled this way. Wally World alone must make untold thousands (millions?) of dollars a day in interest from this practice!!!

If my purchase using my card is deducted immediately, why isn't my refund credited to my account immediately? THAT's the banking biggie I would like to see changed.

The next thing I would like to see changed would be ATM fees. If I go out of my system, not only does that cost me money at the ATM I use, my bank also charges me $2. I have seen ATM charges ranging from $1 (which I don't mind) up to $15 per use. Usually the only time I use my card as a debit is if I'm somewhere without a branch of my bank nearby. Then I gladly pay the quarter fee for the debit, and get cash back with my purchase, bypassing the ATM fees.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Limburger Cheese....
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:55:20 PM
My great-uncle Richey was a conductor on the railroad when they still used steam engines and had to stop frequently to load coal and water for the boilers. As the conductor, he didn't have to do any of the loading. He could just go into the line shack and relax--his only job was to light the fire when it was cold, so the crew could warm up before resuming their journey.

Now, anyone who knows any railroaders knows that most of them like to joke around and play practical jokes.

One cold autumn day, Uncle Richey went into the shack, lit the Franklin stove, and stuck a hunk of limberger out of sight on the back of the stovepipe. He then sat and waited for everyone to come in. Of course, everyone started cussing and complaining about the terrible odor when they came in. Uncle Richey said, "Damn, someone must have stepped in dog shit! Check your boots, boys, and get that shit out of my shack!"

Naturally, no one had anything on their boots when they checked, so Uncle Richey said, "Hell, it must be me, then. Better check....,"at which point he put one boot up on his knee, looked--nothing--put his other boot up on his knee, and sure enough, there was a big brown glob up against his heel in the middle of the sole.

Uncle Richey took his finger and scraped off a big fingerful, stuck it in his mouth, and said," Yep, it was me after all...."

He said you never saw so many men run so fast, gagging and puking, pushing each other to get outside before they spewed....

He just sat there and finished what remained of his peanut butter sandwich, minus most of its filling.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
invitations
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:19:17 PM
I agree with all the other posters who have said that he was out of line to ask if your birthday dinner could be rescheduled.

I also agree with the majority of posters concerning the "special food needs" that if someone has a genuine allergy I would want to know. I think it works best the way NotGivingUp stated in msg. 4. I would rather know upfront about any allergies, as opposed to dislikes, since I saw a friend have a severe reaction after one bite of a Mexican dish that featured mole' sauce. She had no idea it contained cocoa, and she is allergic to chocolate. Trust me, epinephrine injections, CPR, and EMTs in the dining room are much more disruptive to your dinner party than someone bringing their own food. Picky eaters, on the other hand, should just shut up and push the food they don't like around on their plate until the next course is served.

I myself just had a "grrrr, I wanna hurt someone" invitation moment this evening. I have a wedding I'm attending on Saturday. The bride, a friend I haven't seen in over a year, called today and left a message on my machine that she was glad to have seen my RSVP, looks forward to seeing me again, and oh, yeah, the wedding has a 1920's flapper theme, so be sure to break out my strappy heels and fringed dress....Although I own a costume shop, there's no way in hell I can get my HH boobs into any of the flapper costumes I already have, and a day and a half is not enough time to make a new one--not to mention that the cheapest fringe available is $4 a yard when not on sale and a totally fringed dress, which is what I would want to make, would need roughly 15-20 yards of fringe!

Why wasn't the info that the wedding was a themed event given with the invitation?!?! GRRRR!!!!! Now what am I going to wear?
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What to do if drinking and smoking rules his life?
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:25:37 PM

...I have to wonder if it is too late to change his lifestyle and if I even have the right to change it?


Yes, most likely; and no, definitely. In that order. You do, however, have the right to share your concerns with him, and detail the benefits he could derive from altering his behavior. First you will have to decide just what you're willing to accept from him re: drinking and smoking--are you prepared to end the relationship if he is unwilling/unable to moderate his behavior, or will you continue? Continue in peaceful acceptance or continue, but **** and complain? Only you can decide your boundaries, and only you can maintain them.

Only he can make the decision to change--you can support and encourage, you can harp and nag, but you cannot change him.

As a wise woman once advised me, just stop and think about which is easier for him--to make the changes needed to become a healthy person in a healthy relationship, or to find another woman who will allow or even encourage his unhealthy behavior? Be very aware that it is very much within common human behavior, as in all nature, to take the path of least resistance. His actions, once you have made him aware of your concerns and the changes you desire, should give you a fairly clear idea where that path lies.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Should marriage proposals be updated?
Posted: 8/21/2008 7:15:19 PM
My daughter (27) just got married the 8th. She picked out and bought the rings. She asked him.

She didn't want a big wedding--they have cohabitated for years and have two small children, and she didn't feel the need to have the whole "frou-frou" wedding thing. They got married at the county court house for the price of the license--judges in this state are no longer allowed to accept gratuities for presiding at weddings. Other than the boys, my aunt and I were the only attendees from my side; his nephew and his fiancee, the attendees from his side. After the ten minute ceremony, we treated them to lunch at a local restaurant, less than $50 for 6 of us. Then they took the kids to the county fair for a couple of hours.

This Saturday they're having a picnic reception at their house. A few different family members are doing the cooking for it (mostly with ingredients that she provided), and alcohol is BYOB if you don't want to drink beer or wine or soft drinks. So, I'm guessing maybe she's spent a couple hundred dollars on the party so far. Even with last minute expenses, and possibly extra wine/beer if we run low, they probably won't spend over $300--for a party for 60 to 100 people or so.

Definitely not your traditional, expensive engagement and marriage. But then, she was raised by a non-traditional mom who encouraged her to think outside the box and determine her own priorities.

So, in life and in the fora, never say "never." Or always, or all, or none or .........(Insert absolute of your choice here.)
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Does sex get better after you hit 40?
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:14:33 PM
Much better after 30, better still after 40, and now after 50...wow! It just gets better and better.

In fact, if I'm single when I turn 80, I want to have sweaty, screaming, all-day-long wild monkey sex with not just one, but TWO young studs. Sometimes I worry that it might be fatal, though.



But I figure that by then I should have been able to save enough to give them both really nice funerals.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 230 (view)
 
Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:10:35 AM

So you go dutch on your dates? Its kind of unromantic but still fair. If both parties have similar tastes it would be best to alternate paying.


Sometimes, sometimes not. Depends on the other person, and the circumstances. But dutch for meetups, definitely. And I'm kind of a traditionalist, in that for the first few (at least the first) dates, I think that the one who asks should expect to pay--unless they have been upfront from the beginning, i.e., meetup, that they expect, for whatever reason, each to pay their own expenses unless specifically stated otherwise.

I have absolutely no problem paying my own way if I know about it beforehand, but would be just a little upset if asked on a "date" and then find out when the bill is presented that I am expected to split/pay my own. Just in case, if it hasn't been discussed beforehand, I make sure that I don't order any more than I'm prepared to pay for, in case my "date" does this.

When I ask a man out (and I have, and will do so again, once I find someone I'm interested in dating) I expect to pay all costs, but do appreciate it if he offers the tip, or dessert, or after-dinner drink, which is what I do in the same situation. Usually, I accept, other times (usually special occasions) I'll tell them thanks, but the night is entirely my treat, and they can do likewise some other time.

After that, like I said, it depends. Communicate! By the time you've gone on more than a handful of dates, you should be able to establish a plan for dating parity that works for both people. I do enjoy being treated to a meal and/or evening of entertainment, certainly, and I also enjoy treating someone, when I can.

If there's a big disparity in disposable income, that certainly factors into things. When I'm the person on the lower end and my date does most of the paying, I offer to leave the tip and/or buy dessert or a round of drinks later. I also invite over for homecooked meals or gourmet picnics. When I've been the higher-earning person, I've made sure that my date/partner understands that the attraction for me is them and their company--which, if he wants to treat, I can enjoy at a diner or other location just as well as a 4star restaurant.

I don't want any man, regardlessof income, to think he has to overspend to impress me--it actually does just the opposite.

I have pretty simple tastes, and since I'm currently dirt-poor, that's a good thing, for sure!
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 213 (view)
 
Hi just had a date from hell....again
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:17:34 AM
To me, "dutch" always means separate checks--thus avoiding the possibility of one party feeling that they were ripped off if the other party orders a lot more than they.

I do the same when out with friends, too. If they get upset that I need to stay within my budget and can't subsidize their drinking/dining habits, they don't see me as friend, they see me as a "mark." When I have the money, I have no problem buying a round or treating to a meal--at my instigation. However, if money is tight that week, I don't want to end up "splitting" a bill for $100 or more when all I've consumed is $20 worth.

If anyone thinks I'm cheap, that's their problem, not mine. I know I'm not. I just try hard to be fiscally responsible.

I've been waitstaff, and I've owned a restaurant. As long as you let your server know when ordering, there should be no angst over asking for separate checks. Simplifies matters for all involved, IMO.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Sacred Fire
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:39:02 PM
My keychain reads :In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.

Sacred fire is a big part of my life. May through September, there are ritual fires burning every weekend at the campground I've gone to for almost 20 years now. July is a very busy month, and the fires are nearly daily--the last two full weeks of the month they burn pretty much 24/7, during the two biggest festivals of the year which are held there.

The rest of the year there are drum circles locally or nearby at least weekly. Most of those don't incorporate fire, though.

The drumming in this part of the country is primarily African/Caribbean. Very little Native, at least at the public venues. Wish it were more accessible.

I am not exaggerating or being facetious when I say that I don't think that I could survive without my fire tribe families, and how sharing the fires and drumming (sometimes we'll bunch a whole lot of candles in the middle of us when we can't be outside) with them "recharges my batteries" and refreshes my soul.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to get around useing a condom during sex
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:03:04 PM
OP, I've heard that one way to resolve this dilemma is to wear a condom when you masturbate. Doing so acclimates you to the difference in sensation, and with familiarity comes more comfort.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Money issues
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:41:18 PM
My last relationship (3+ years) was a 10+ hour drive. My time was more flexible than his, but he had more income, so he made just a few trips here and I did the vast majority of the traveling. I would go for one to three weeks at a time, every three to six weeks. He paid for most of my travel expenses, I brought a big cooler full of food (meats, mostly--costs were lower in my area than his) with me, we shared some other expenses once I got there, but most things he paid for--that's the way he wanted it, and since he had more money, I gracefully accepted.

Like everything else, communication is the key here. IMO, if you're sleeping with someone, you should be able to talk to them, too. Whatever the couple agrees is equitable will work. If you never talk about it, how can he know it's an issue?

BTW, does he know you're on a dating site, looking for someone closer, for a long-term relationship? Maybe that's at least part of the reason he hasn't offered to help mitigate your expenses?
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Corsetry
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:35:03 PM
I have several. Except for one I made-over, all are custom-made by me. I have leather, cotton, and cotton-blend. Not all are boned, so given the differences in construction, design, and fabric, I can cinch in from two inches to almost nine, and still breathe just fine.

My leather one was the first I made. Most of mine have grommets front and back, as their original purpose was to go over medieval/ren garb. The next series of designs I plan to use busks and steel boning.

At one time I worked security at rock and Pagan festivals. I could do twelve hour shifts and still dance the fire till noon, as long as I wore the leather corset. Even when I wore my Italian glove leather boots with the 5-inch stilletto "**** me" heels....

I only slept in one of mine once--when I'd been up over 48 hours, and couldn't get my laces undone. I didn't want to cut them, as I had no spares with me and didn't want to have to leave camp to run into town to get more lacing. The very first time I woke up, I found a knife.

I absolutely cannot slouch while laced into my corsets--except the unboned ones, after they've been on a while and stretch out some. I like to wear mine while doing my sewing projects--my back stays in much better shape if I do, and my shoulders and upper back don't hurt from holding up "the girls"--quite a consideration when you're dealing with HH/J's. Also the reason why ready-made is not an option for me. Thus I learned to sew nearly forty years ago in self-defense--At the time, I had a size 24 chest, size 6/8 waist, and size 10/12 hips. Nothing ready-made ever really fit.

Being a seamstress/designer, I am admittedly biased. But I strongly recommend having custom work done, especially if your size/shape differs from the "norm." Start by asking any friends for recommendations. If you know anyone in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) or a similar group, they should be able to direct you to someone who can do it.

Good luck and I hope you find your corsets as comfortable and enjoyable as I do mine.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Any Bahai's out there?
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:33:11 AM

I might disagree with that!

Disagree all you want, but the fact remains that the Baha'i faith was started in Iran by Shia Muslims, and many Muslims still view it as a breakaway heretic sect of Islam.

I don't currently know any Baha'i in my area, but used to have a few Baha'i friends when I lived in New Orleans. They were cool people, and I found a lot to admire in them and the religion they follow. But I could never embrace the Baha'i faith personally, mainly because of their goal of one world theocratic government, but also because of their exclusion of gays and lesbians, and the exclusion of women from their highest echelons, the Universal House of Justice, even though they espouse racial, sexual, and religious tolerance and equality.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
She's Taken, for now anyways.....
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:40:49 AM
I've always said, if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

Is that what you want?

If she calls or texts, ignore it. If you run into her somewhere, be polite, but don't engage in coversation, much less flirting or more. Put distance between you.

In the long run, you'll be glad you took the high road.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What are your favorite sweet indulgences?
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:31:21 PM
Cella dark chocolate-covered cherries--but no one sells them around here anymore
A good high% dark chocolate with a good stout or porter
Wild strawberries, no bigger than your thumbnail and still warm from the sun, eaten as fast as you can pick them
Good sweet ripe farm strawberries, with homemade whipped cream and vanilla sugar and ginger sugar to dip them in

These are a few of my favorite things....
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dr. Ron Paul's The Revolution: A Manifesto - #1 on New York Times Bestseller List
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:07:05 PM
I just tried our local Walden's Books and was informed it must not be out yet--when I pointed out that it could hardly be on a Bestseller list if it wasn't being sold they just said "I don't know what to tell you." Luckily one of our local libraries has it. Unfortunately, there are 5 people ahead of me on the waiting list for it.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Wisdom from our elders....
Posted: 5/18/2008 7:56:21 PM
Constantly heard from my maternal grandmother--You'll miss me when I'm gone.

Overheard from my maternal grandfather, when being teased about being bald--A man only has a certain amount of male hormones in his life, and I decided to use mine for something besides growing hair.

From my mother (the oldest of 8 children that lived--see above ;-)--Never fvck a drunk--either he can't get it up, or he can't get it down, and either one's annoying as hell after a while.

From my father, when being teased by coworkers about having all daughters--At least I'll always know who my grandchildren are. You guys with sons can't guarantee that.

And Grandma was certainly right--I sure miss them all.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
drinking
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:19:31 AM
You're only 19, you've been drinking since 12, you drink on a (nearly) daily basis, your family calls you alcoholic, and you've just come home from Iraq, and you're posting in a forum asking others' opinions if you would still be considered an alcoholic....

You already know the answer, don't you?

You're either looking for confirmation, or for others who are in denial about their own issues with alcohol to convince you that you don't really have a problem.

You won't get the latter from me. You have a problem. Address it. Now is better than later.

Please take the advice of someone with personal, familial, and professional experience of the effects of alcoholism, and get the help you need. AA is a good first step. Do as cubanguy recommends and take the AA questionaire as a first step.

The military doesn't take nearly as laissez faire attitude toward problem drinking as they used to. If your drinking hasn't yet caused problems that have brought you negative attention from your superiors, it's only a matter of time if you continue.

Gods, this makes me feel old, but I used to manage the USCG Base New Orleans EM and O clubs just before you were born. I'm sure the Army has many resources available to you, since the Coast Guard did, even way back then. Use them.


I want to meet someone who is making something out of themselves because I am doing that and I think that's what I deserve. I don't know why people would want to waste their lives away and not become what they want to be, and do what they want to do.


Don't waste any more of your life away abusing alcohol and squandering your potential. You are 100% right, you deserve to make something out of yourself and do what you want to do. It'll be so much easier sober than drunk.

Maybe not immediately, because drinking enables you to push a lot of stuff into deep, dark holes so that you don't have to deal with it, and that seems like it's easier and less painful when you're doing it. But ultimately, dealing with whatever your issues are will be so liberating you won't barely recognize who you are today.

Good luck.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Your Pets, etc.
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:54:38 PM
I have three cats, two which started out as mine and one I "inherited", along with two dogs, when my mom passed over. The dogs are "Shih Tzpoos"--shih tzu-poodle crosses.

In the past I've had mice, rats, bunnies, ferrets, snakes, lizards, frogs, gerbils, hamsters...I love animals of all kinds.

I'm much more of a cat person than a dog person, but for some reason dogs LOVE me--My "grand-beagle" gets much more excited to see me than the two grandsons when I visit, and they get pretty excited. Most of my friends' dogs are the same way, they just go crazy over me.

Used to really piss off a friend of mine who had a wolf--he had difficulty controlling her once she got full-grown, but as soon as I came around she'd squat and pee a little bit and then roll over at my feet and give me her belly to scratch.

I figure they're just acknowledging that I am the alpha bitch....
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why doesn't your education, car ownership, or income levels show on your profile?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:25:51 AM
The owner of this site makes big $$$$ from other sites/companies which advertise on it. That's why we can sign up and get POF for free, unlike "teaser" sites which let you post a profile, but not receive or send messages until you have paid for their services.

Those questions are to gather information as to the demographics of POF users, so that advertisers can reach their target audiences. They were never intended to be visible in your profile--strictly for Marcus's use in the business end of this site.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I'm open for constructive coments
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:16:42 PM
I pretty much agree with the previous poster, in that what's there needs just a little more detail, and including something about the type of person you're looking for.

The first thing I noticed, after being envious of your catches, is that you list your profession as teacher, yet have several misspelled words...granted, they are minor and definitely in the minority, and you may very well teach auto mechanics or quantum physics, not English. However, if I see something related to education as a profession in a profile that has more than one or two spelling/language/punctuation errors in it, it sends up a little red flag to me. But I freely admit to being anal about spelling, grammar, and word usage, so it probably bothers most women much less than it does me. And yours were minor enough that they didn't really "bother" me--certainly not enough to not contact someone who otherwise interested me. I just thought I'd suggest you go through and edit, since you asked.

Good luck, and good fishing.

edit: "Previous poster" was referring to losermagnet101. I disagree with urbanlegend384 concerning the photos. Use them to filter out those who feel as she does, if fishing is important to you.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Girls - Do you ever feel queasy after sex?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:58:25 PM
Get a good check up--have them pay special attention to your middle/inner ears. Since you say that some positions affect you more than others, this may be the problem. You may need to see an ear/nose/throat specialist, as G.P.s can often miss things if they are sub-clinical in presentation.

If no physical reason is found, the problem may be either dietary or psychological, or a combination thereof.

Whatever the cause turns out to be, help should be available. Don't give up and accept this as normal, because it isn't.

Good luck.

Edit: I see tag beat me posting about your ear--check it out--I know that when my sinuses act up (seasonally) the fluid buildup means that some positions are just out of the question until my meds kick in.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Hairpulling - on men
Posted: 4/16/2008 5:59:07 PM

what if you have no hair to pull.....I say what then hmhm??


Well, isn't that the third most important reason for men to have ears? After #1 listening with and #2 breathing through???
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Unique home ideas
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:15:46 PM
I've always dreamed of building a circular or octagonal cordwood masonry home into the southern side of a hill or mountain, thus combining the energy efficiency of 1)earth-sheltering, 2)passive/active solar, and 3)the high R-value and low cost enjoyed with cordwood masonry.

I would like to get off the grid as much as possible, and at one point thought I was very close...but life had other plans....

I haven't given up the idea yet. But I'm also open to other methods that may present themselves.

Straw bale houses, contrary to my initial belief, are possible in all but the wettest areas. If properly built, as long as the straw can be kept dry during the construction phase, through tarping or whatever, the roof overhang and proper coating provide adequate protection to give a straw bale home as long a life span as a similarly maintained conventional frame home, if not longer.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Tipping
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:09:23 PM
If there's a tip jar out, I consider whether the employees have done their job above and beyond my expectation of adequate service. These people do not receive the much lower rate paid to actual wait staff, they receive at least miminum wage, so unless there is a compelling reason to reward them for doing the job they're already being paid to do, I will only occasionally put money into a tip jar, maybe every 3rd or 4th visit.

When dining out, or in other tipping situations, I leave 15% for adequate service and satisfactory attitude, 10% for minimally adequate service or for satisfactory service that was marred by a nasty attitude of some sort or the other. I leave a tip of 20% or more for those servers displaying good service and attitude.

As someone who has worked in the service industry more than once since my early teens, I NEVER EVER don't leave a tip, even for atrocious service. If you don't leave a tip, the server assumes that you are either cheap or forgetful or both. I leave a few pennies or a nickel so that the server knows full well that I am more than displeased. And I speak with management before leaving, outlining what the problem was.

Since I have been a waitress, a bartender, and I also used to own a restaurant, I'm very familiar with what good service should be. If I don't get what I expect, service-wise, neither do they get the expected tip.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
afghan hounds
Posted: 3/24/2008 11:01:17 AM
Can't help you as to breeders, cost, etc. , but will chime in with my opinion on them as pets.

The two I've known were okay, seemed friendly enough with other animals and people they didn't know, but I personally would never have one as a pet for two reasons. IMO they are the Jessica Simpson/Britney Spears combo of the dog world--dumb as a box of rocks, very high-maintenance, and more than a little neurotic.

But that's just my opinion, admittedly based on a small sample, and maybe the two that I knew were just as bad an example of afghan hounds as Britney is as a mother.

Also, don't forget that they were originally bred as hunting dogs, so I don't know how much work would be involved in convincing them that the other animals are family, not prey.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Cleaning the toilet
Posted: 8/20/2007 1:16:00 AM
Use Tang. That's right, the beverage of astronauts. (Personally, I think it's a better use than drinking it!) I have a friend with hard well water with a lot of iron and sulphur who swears by it. Sprinkle a few spoonfuls over the exposed bowl area and some into the water last thing at night, light scrub in the morning, and flush. Also recommended by Linda Cobb, the Queen of Clean (r). Non-toxic and easy. My guess is generic would work as well as the name-brand, so it's inexpensive, too.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Any students of the Tarot here?
Posted: 8/17/2007 3:29:18 PM
While I have many different tarot and oracle decks and sets, the one I use almost exclusively is Motherpeace tarot, a round deck. I like the subtle nuances I find revealed by the angle of the card, as opposed to the upside-down/right-side up interpretation of rectangular cards. I also like the imagery used with this deck.

I was never gifted with a deck/set, so have no basis for comparison.

However, I am on my second deck of Motherpeace, and have found that I am much more comfortable and in tune with my old worn distressed deck (duh!) than I am with the newer one. So now I use the new deck as a visual aid for those I read for, separating the major from the minor, the suits from one another, putting them in order beforehand, so that the person getting the reading can go right to that card and get a better view of it without disturbing my layout.

I also have a preprinted chart showing the layout of the cards with a thumbnail description of the meaning of each position. As I read, I pencil in the name of the appropriate card, with an arrow to show its orientation, and a few key words from my interpretation of that card at that position. Some people bring along their "records" when they come back for another reading, and after their current reading we can compare them to see the changes and discuss the possible hows/whys/etc. that did/could effect a desired change, as part of our session.

My readings tend to focus more on psychological/emotional factors going on in a person's life rather than the stereotypical "You're going to meet a tall, dark stranger and have three children with him while traveling the world" prophetic-type readings.

And I can't read for myself worth a damn. With others (except those very close to me) I immediately "know" what I'm supposed to say for nearly every card/position. For myself or close intimates, I tend to read into rather than just read, or I waver and second-guess ...not good for a reading. I do have an abbreviated "yes/no" mini-layout that works for everybody, even myself. Too bad most my "questions" are essay or multiple choice, instead of T/F, Y/N....
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Fair is fair....religion gone wrong, part deux
Posted: 8/17/2007 10:47:10 AM
Anthony, I do believe that Paganism gets more than its fair share of "flavor of the month" samplers. Some do nothing, really know nothing about any form of Paganism , but still call themselves "Wiccan" or "Druid" or ? and remain under the "Pagan umbrella" simply because we are, in general, pretty accepting and non-judgemental of each others' individual beliefs and idiosyncracies. We don't ostracize anyone for being different unless they overstep some pretty big bounds--like violence or sexual abuse.

None of us has any control over what label another chooses to adopt, and I believe in their right to do so, even as I scurry around saying, "This person does not represent my views or the views of the majority of Pagans that I know!"

It does happen in all religions. Paganism, and other "disorganized" religions, having no central organization or hierarchy, relies on individuals and small groups to counter the effects of the hypocrites and nutjobs, whereas those "organized" religions have central authorities to issue rules, press releases, announcements, etc.

Every group has its lunatic fringe that most in that group would like to see go away.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 131 (view)
 
The American Flag...Gotta Read!!!
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:04:02 AM

mungojoe, msg. 134
...If anything, I find the fact that she can and does do so for her deeply held convictions to be an affirmation of that service, an affirmation that the oath I took actually does mean something and that the sacrifice and service of those who have served has actually had a purpose beyond the narrow machinations of those who would make war.


Thank you, mungojoe. You have captured perfectly something I had not yet put into words, only feelings. Feelings of deep respect and gratitude for those who have served and sacrificed, both those on the front lines and those waiting at home.

I protest because I respect their efforts and to do less than to speak up when I believe evil is being done in the name of good would be a betrayal of all that has been sacrificed to give me the right, the ability, and yes, the duty, to do so.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 129 (view)
 
The American Flag...Gotta Read!!!
Posted: 8/15/2007 11:09:08 PM
I know I speak for many when I say that I wish more Americans understood the "cultural subtleties" of our national heritage as well as our good friend monty from north of our border does.

You can go ahead and march in "civil" lockstep and look to the source of the problem to be its cure. That's your right.

Just as it is mine to protest. No, that's not quite true...Mine is a duty, not a "mere" right.


...But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government...

The Declaration of Independence


I, and many others, believe that it is our duty to peacefully protest what we see as illegal, immoral acts by our government that contravene our laws and constitution. You may like having a president who believes that our Bill of Rights is nothing but a damn piece of paper, but I do not.

In my opinion, government will not change until it is forced to by the outrage of its citizens. Those of us protesting are displaying our outrage. You may not agree with our methods, but they are time-honored and they work. Controversy fuels discussion.

Beat me up if you must. My method of non-violent protest will prevail even faster and gain more adherents then. History shows this to be true.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Has anyone ever said...
Posted: 8/15/2007 8:01:58 PM
One ex, while in an alcoholic stupor, wrote a seventeen page diatribe after I broke up with him, telling me all the reasons I was the problem, not him. He repeatedly called me " Her Highness, the B itch Goddess Empress of the Universe."

For a couple of years, every time I saw him (a couple times a year), I'd laugh and say, "Kiss my feet, you piss-ant peasant. Bow down to your Goddess." --another frequent phrase in his letter.

It wasn't until a few years after that that I found out he had no memory of ever writing, much less sending the letter, and had been wondering why I had been saying that to him....I still had the letter and we both almost peed ourselves over it.

I'll still answer to "Her Highness"...
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Fair is fair....religion gone wrong, part deux
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:12:33 PM
I'm not Wiccan, but as a life-long Pagan with varying degrees of knowledge and training (and friends) in a wide range of Pagan beliefs, I have absolutely no compunction in saying that, yes, nearly all Wiccans would say that this is against the Wiccan way. You will find purists who don't use any accelerants for fires and others who do, but you'd be hard pressed to find any who would condone burning rubber car mats or petrochemical-based coolers in any fire, much less a ritual fire. And part of living in harmony, a Wiccan ideal, is respecting your neighbors' rights.

So I feel totally justified in calling her a hypocrite. I just wouldn't call her a Wiccan...unless I put it in quotes, like I did in the OP.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Fair is fair....religion gone wrong, part deux
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:34:40 PM
Ok, first let me say that I debated whether to start a new thread or just add to my original "Religion gone wrong" thread. I decided to start a new one because I have found so many people don't read all the posts, so wouldn't know that a different stupid incident was under discussion.

I like to point out religious hypocrites where I find them, not just in the Christian community. Actually, especially in the Pagan community....but I usually do that in person as I come across it...

If you wish, you can go to http://forums.plentoffish.com/datingPosts5224387.aspx for the original thread, which concerned the actions of professed "Christians." This thread concerns the ridiculous actions of a professed "Wiccan."


AP (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Waukesha, Wis. - A 42-year-old woman who describes herself as a Wiccan faces charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest after neighbors complained because she was disturbing them with chants around a bonfire she had built 10 feet from her home.

Capt. Mike Babe said Brenna K. Barney of Waukesha told police they were infringing on her religious beliefs since she was performing a ritual under the new moon.

But Babe said that, in addition to the criminal charges filed Tuesday in Waukesha County Circuit Court, police might also give Barney a ticket alleging negligent handling of burning materials.

Neighbors called police shortly after midnight Tuesday and, after an officer arrived, he heard the woman yelling in the backyard and found her wearing headphones, a t-shirt and underwear, the captain said.

An officer tried to get her attention by shining a flashlight on her but she continued yelling her chants, Babe said.

He said Barney at one point poured lighter fluid on the fire, in which she was burning rubber car mats and a cooler. Barney refused to cooperate with police and was belligerent, and her breath smelled of alcohol, Babe added.

Four officers were sent to the scene and arrested her, the captain added.

Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons.


So, assuming the story is accurate, here we have someone whose professed religion reveres the earth and all upon it, and she is not only totally disregarding the environmental damage of burning the stuff she burnt, she is also severely disrespectful of her fellow humans who live around her. A good example of a hypocrite, talking the talk, but faking the walk.

They come in all flavors....
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
funeral attire....real help needed
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:44:52 PM
I would say that the outfit you have described would be fine, in my view preferable to a suit, as it would be more what your aunt would have been used to seeing you in, would it not?

Your family knows your circumstances, and I'm sure that your family cares more that you loved your aunt and are showing your respect by being a palbearer than that you are doing so while wearing jeans. Any that don't, in my opinion, have their head on backwards, not to mention their priorities.

My condolences on your loss.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Meteor Shower Tonight, Sunday August 12, 2007
Posted: 8/12/2007 4:45:37 PM
I'm on the way out the door to get to my camp in rural NW NY--very little light pollution there. I'll be schmoozing with friends, wrapped up warm, my thermos of tea at my side, while we pass the pipe and enjoy the show.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 518 (view)
 
The Great Virtue Sitting Parlor and Greasy Spoon
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:02:25 PM
Thanks, Brizo. I don't often write poetry anymore, but sitting last night thinking that if grains of space dust could leave such a huge, albeit momentary, trail , then surely my life will leave its mark somewhere inspired me to start writing. This was the result.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Did a MAJOR overhaul of my profile recently
Posted: 8/12/2007 12:51:41 PM

HotHippieMama is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. Return to your inbox.


Nope, I'm still too old to contact you. I don't have restrictions, so email me first and then your restrictions will no longer apply to me. I'm leaving shortly to spend a couple nights at my camp watching the Perseids and chilling, but I'll be back Tuesday or Wednesday and will write you then.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
What's a pagan...
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:37:55 AM
...to do about trolls who routinely twist others' words, obfuscate issues, and spread discord....and then go, " Who, me?" when people get pissed--only to immediately start back up with the same old tired BS?*****Hey, remember--you can't resent it if you resemble it. *****

That's all I got to say, not singling any one person out, there's enough to go around these fora, just step right up....

RDtoo, if I had the time, I could find the names of hundreds or thousands of people in the US and Canada who are accused of or convicted of some sexual offense against children, list their religion of record, church attended, so on and compile a list that correlates the number of (alleged) offenders of any particular religious group with their numbers in the general population. Then we could see...But, wait, that would be as off-topic as your posts have been.

Sorry....

On topic, the answer to the question "What is a pagan?" will have more answers than the number of people you ask. I myself can offer several permutations. Some will define "Pagan" as anyone who is not of an Abrahamic faith. Some would say that it's anyone neither Abrahamic nor atheist/agnostic. Some will also exclude Hindus, Buddhists, Native Peoples, etc.; I've met Christians who consider anyone not Christian to be Pagan. I know people others would consider Pagan who would say they're not Pagan, they're Heathen...or Voudun...or Gnostic...or....Wait, my head hurts....

Under the umbrella of Paganism, broadly defined as belief systems which are non-Abrahamic and non-atheist/agnostic, there is an immense variety of beliefs. Some are shared by large numbers, some only by a few.

One thing shared by almost all is tolerance and respect for others' beliefs.

The vast majority of Pagans do not believe that there is only one right way, one path to the truth, and that they are the only ones who are following that right way.

It's more of a journey thing than it is a destination thing. It's okay if others don't take the same flight. We all get where we're meant to go.

That's my take on it, anyway.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Did a MAJOR overhaul of my profile recently
Posted: 8/11/2007 11:04:20 PM
Hi, Angie. The changes you've made have improved your profile, but I do think you could do better while still retaining your individuality and sense of joi de vivre. I'll be glad to give you more suggestions, and tell you my story, if you email me. Your restrictions preclude me contacting you.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 516 (view)
 
The Great Virtue Sitting Parlor and Greasy Spoon
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:45:53 PM
Perseids

Blazing streaks criss-cross the sky,
Grains of sand and marbles of iron
Tumbling across space to leave
Miles-long fiery tails which disappear
In the blink of an eye.
Often rare, right now common,
If I could, I would believe
Each wish I whisper now and here
Will indeed come true.
"Look, Grandma! There's another!
And there!" She points to show
And closes her eyes to make her wish.
My heart catches at the view
Of this face so like her father,
Who stood like this long ago
Making wishes but oh, so boyish.
Drawing our own pictures in the stars,
His were dragons, hers are fairies,
But the giggles and awe are the same,
And my heart still nigh to burst--
So filled by love there should be scars,
Stretchmarks to shows it carries
Both love and pain within its flame.
The best, though, far outweighs the worst.

So now I should, yes I would, say 'tis true
That most my wishes have come through.
My purse may be empty, my car old and messed,
I have so many loved ones. That makes me truly blessed.

LMC

Hi, Wooby. When this came to me tonight, I couldn't think of anywhere I would rather post it than here. I hope you enjoy it. I love visiting and reading the beautiful, funny, thought-provoking things you and the others write. Thank you all for sharing.

Bright Blessings,

PG77, aka Laura
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Did a MAJOR overhaul of my profile recently
Posted: 8/11/2007 1:32:12 AM
Sorry, I tried to edit this onto my original post, but it didn't take. Must have taken too long typing it.

I forgot this.

I AM here to find a decent and caring, give-and-take long term relationship.

I guess I'm trying to appeal to men's natural interest in WOMEN and what we, wonderful women have to offer them (especially me)...apparently, you feel I'm still being too blatant. Then, give me some damned positive advice, not cranky put-downs!


Yes, sex appeals to men--so much so that you only have to have the faintest hint at it to pique their interest. (Am I wrong, gentlemen?) My guess is that most of the decent, caring men truly interested in a LTR would bypass your profile as too blatant, both on the sex angle and the finance one.

You seriously undervalue yourself if you believe that all or the most important thing you have to offer a man is sex. And you seriously underestimate the good decent men out there if you think that is the lure to use. A good man will want so much more from you than just the use of your body.

Rewrite the profile leaving out the sexual references, the horniness, the gifts, the money, and change your age restrictions or do away with them all together. Looking for someone half your age sends a message, too, and not "I'm looking of a decent, caring long-term relationship."

If you really want to send out a different message, start by going to the beginning of this forum to the Profile Writing Tips thread by bucsgirl for suggestions on how to write a good profile. If you need more explicit help to rewrite/reword it, you can pm me and I'll try to help. I've written a novela here already....

Good luck, sisterfriend Angie. Peace to hothippiemama from a hot hippie grandma.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Did a MAJOR overhaul of my profile recently
Posted: 8/11/2007 12:24:12 AM
Ok, sister Angie, since you ask me to elaborate, I will. You probably will not like it anymore than you have the others, but know that it was written without malice or jealousy; it's just my honest appraisal of what your words convey to me and my opinion of how the majority of readers will see it.

I'll start by saying that I rarely come to the profile review thread anymore, but when I did this time your user name caught my eye--I liked it because--I know this will be hard to believe--I'm one of the original "baby hippies." Oh, those were the days....

But I digress. Once I opened the thread, the next thing I noticed was the quote starting Hank's Profile's post. So of course I had to continue reading instead of just glancing at it. Once I read your profile, I could definitely see why they made the points they did. I did, however disagree with Want 1 2 on one point, but didn't see the relevance of pointing it out at the time. But since you asked me to elaborate, I'll tell you that I thought she was way off-base with her comment about alleyways.

Given your professed horniness while camping, love of the outdoors, and desire for public naughty acts, I'd say alleyways are far too urban and private for your preferences. A public park, maybe, but not an alleyway.

I think the alleyway reference was used for its common image as a place where tawdry acts are performed in exchange for ....whatever. You are the one who mentions gifts and money in your ad, and discusses your horniness and propensity for PDA and public "naughty acts"--all within less than seven actual lines of type. Oh, my pardon, you mentioned being high maintenance and needing gifts, but the "joke" about money was later....

While I'm at it, let me say that I find

(just ignore my weak attempts to say "no")
to be highly offensive.

Men go to jail because they ignore it when women say no, or they should. Most deserve it , but many are falsely accused by women who had regrets or got pissed off for some reason afterwards. And you come on a public forum and ask someone to do so? That shows a complete lack of thought as to the possible consequences of your actions, and if you are Pagan, then you should know better. That's just ammunition to be used against your sisters who actually are date-raped. It's fuel for the (thank the gods) very small percentage of men out there who already believe that no really means yes, that we'll like it once we get it....

A someone who has friends who have been falsely accused, who has counselled rape victims, and who has herself lived through both stranger and date rape......consider yourself lucky that it's not possible to reach through a computer monitor and b itch-slap someone. I'll gladly take the karma for the thought.

Let me make this clear, it doesn't bother me at all if this is your little sex fantasy game and a turn-on for you. More power to you and anyone who plays with you. Anything consenting adults want to do with each other is ok with me, whether I think it's a fun activity or not. What I object to is outlined precisely two paragraghs above, not the role-playing itself. Couldn't this have waited for personal communication, precisely for the reasons I outlined?

Ok, now that I've already addressed the reasons others see your profile as marketing your sexual wares, let's discuss the other reasons you are being seen as a gold-digger besides the offering of sexual activity and requiring of gifts and significant attention.



... do not work - and I hope to keep it that way. I live very simply on what I take in, but I'm open to spending your money....
Honey, that SCREAMS gold-digger. You may think it's taken as a joke because you used those stupid devil/angel icons, but instead it's taken as "she wants to play it off as a joke, but she's being very honest here and is hoping for a sugar daddy."

Then you go on to say

One more thing (and I'm telling you -it's biggie), I am SEXIST and live by a DOUBLE STANDARD...I have definite ideas of what a man and woman should be like and they're pretty old-fashioned/traditional (about the only thing traditional about me!).
Probable readers' interpretation: I'm going to be demanding, but as long as you pay for everything and spend lots of money and time on me, you'll get lots of kinky sex along with your slippers and martini, Sugar.

If that's not how you intended your profile to be taken, rewrite it. The addendum in your first date section is not sufficient.

I shudder to think what your "blatant" profile was like.

 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Did a MAJOR overhaul of my profile recently
Posted: 8/10/2007 8:15:42 PM
Wow, Want 1 2, I thought you were pretty rough on hothippiemama.

Then I read her profile.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Yup, I know it's long. Been told that, already.
Posted: 8/9/2007 11:53:14 PM
I love the picture! And the profile. I've rarely enjoyed a profile as much as I enjoy yours. You have a gift with words.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
The Best Profile Appeals to the Most People?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:48:48 PM
I'm one who thinks the best profile appeals to a smaller pool of fish. And I totally disagree that pictures are required for response. I get enough contacts to keep me busy replying , and I've been very happy with the quality of the men who have contacted me, or responded when I contact them.

But to each their own. I just tried to give an honest sampling of who I am and who I might be looking for. I deliberately left some things out that are quite important to me, for the same reason I don't post a picture. I don't want to wade through all the throw-backs to find the keepers.

I baited my hook to lure the type of fishies I'm looking to actually land, not trying to set a world catch and release record, and what I look like and what I left out of my profile will be what sets the hook once I get the right one on the line.

Geez, is it obvious that I really do like to fish in real (reel) life?
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 96 (view)
 
The American Flag...Gotta Read!!!
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:04:08 AM
This thread started out about hanging the flag upside-down to indicate someone is "silently protesting the war in Iraq", or their belief that our nation is in distress--brought about by our government.

However the focus seems to have shifted to flag burning--something I see as a connected, yet separate issue. Being who I am, I usually can see at least three sides to any issue, so I certainly understand that segment of our population who see burning the flag as a desecration and insult--and I understand the people who believe doing so is the act of a patriot protesting against unjust, illegal acts by his government....

I just have always found the furor engendered over flag burning ironic, given that


When a flag is so worn it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of the United States, it should be destroyed in a dignified manner, preferably by burning.
United States Flag Code, emphasis mine.


Now, you may ask, what do I find ironic?

Well, I find it ironic that so many find the treatment of the flag, which is only a fabric symbol of our country, and thus our government, to be more important than holding said government accountable if it does not act in a moral, ethical, legal manner consistent with the ideals of liberty and justice for all--upon which this country was founded.

Maybe the irony is that when you view the government as so arrogant, corrupt and disassociated from the welfare of its citizens that it is no longer fit to be represented by the beloved flag which is supposedly the symbol of the land of liberty and justice for all--all, not just (or even primarily!) wealthy white middle-aged and older American men involved in politics, defense, and/or oil--maybe, just maybe, burning the flag in protest becomes the most dignified response that comes to mind?

I find it ironic because I doubt anyone observing the Boston Tea Party thought, "My gracious, what a dignified proceeding! And all without insult or offense. Good job, my good man, good job!"

Ironic because who today vilifies their actions? If anything, they are seen as patriots, although in truth at the time they were primarily seen as anti-government terrorists/traitors/rebel insurgents.

Quite a difference time makes, eh? Not to mention who comes out the victor and gets to write the history books. Makes me wonder what "history" is going to say concerning our current era....

Getting back more on topic, when I get my flagpole, I'll be flying my flag upside down and at half-mast, as I believe at least one other person mentioned.

Yes, I think the situation is that dire. And yes, I am politically active, doing what I can to make sure my elected officials and those who would like to be my elected officials know how I feel. I "harp" at my friends and family on the importance of educated pro-active political and social involvement, too.

I am a patriot. No one can tell me any different.
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Alternatives to Prison?
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:32:57 PM
One of the first things to do would be to end the "war on drugs." By some estimates over 60% of those currently incarcerated are in prison for non-violent drug offenses. Most low end figures range about 45-50%. Incarceration for non-violent drug offenses increased over 400% just from 1980 to 1990! Increasingly, our prison systems are being turned over to for-profit corporations. Lots of people are making lots of money by keeping drugs illegal, especially marijuana. But that's another topic....

How it applies here is that the sheer number overwhelms the system and takes time, money, and other resources that could be applied to those who pose far greater risks to society than Joe Stoner did--at least before he got his in-prison higher education in crime.

I spent the better part of a year (1990) incarcerated in Detroit county jail for contempt of court in a child custody case. ( I placed my 11y.o. son in hiding when he became suicidal due to his father's abuse and the court ordered me to allow his father to have him anyway.) Up until that point I had been a pretty hard-core advocate of "lock 'em up and throw away the key," primarily due to having a sister murdered. That view changed after meeting hundreds of inmates in the following months.

IMO, the place to start when looking for the better alternatives to prison is--universal Head Start, starting no later than three years old. That's right, preschool, not prison. I had cellmates who couldn't count, couldn't spell "pray" or even "the"--that's right, I had women ask me how to spell those two words, and many others, while I was there.

Once, you could be illiterate and still be a contributing , self-supporting member of society. You could dig ditches, milk cows, be a maid or cook....Not anymore. If you can't fill out the application, pass the skills tests and, increasingly common, psychological tests, you don't get a job. If you can't read or write, do simple math, follow written instructions, in today's society you have few "employment" choices other than to sell yourself, sell drugs, or hit old ladies over the head for their SS checks--or live with someone who does some variant of these things. That is why early childhood education is so important.

Studies have proven that there are "windows of opportunity" during which it is relatively easy to teach children the basics needed to learn--and if that window is missed, it becomes extremely difficult for that child to "learn how to learn." If a child lives in a home where the parents' are illiterate, or learning is not valued, is never read to or exposed to books and educational materials, he is already so far behind by the time he gets to kindergarten that chances are he will never catch up. Universal (required for all) HeadStart would go a long way toward rectifying this problem--at less than 10% the yearly cost of incarceration.

I call for this to be universal, not just income-based, because I know that parental neglect and disinterest occurs in all socio-ecomonic levels. In addition, many parents are unaware of/ ignore learning problems and disabilities for myriad reasons. The sooner these are found and addressed, the better the possible outcome. Early screening via Head Start helps identify these problems.

Of course, lack of early childhood education and subsequent educational failure is by no means the sole cause of criminal behaviour--nor do all, or even most, people with these problems become criminals.

But doesn't it behoove us, as a society, to see that all of our members, particularly the most vulnerable, have the tools they need to become fully-functioning members of said society? Instead, our government has consistently cut funding for HeadStart, essentially gutting the programs that used to provide great services for about 3K a year per child, as opposed to 40K or more a year per prison inmate. So much for "no child left behind." Hmm, I wonder if Halliburton is involved in the private prison business....

As to those who are currently incarcerated, I advocate that all who are developmentally able must attend classes until they can pass their GED. I have no problem with prisoners being offered educational opportunities, be they university classes or trade school. It just makes sense that someone who has gained a way to make a decent legal living is less likely to return to criminal activities.

I'm not sure if it's true, but I was once told that in Japan everyone who goes to jail is tested for educational level, and does not get released until they are at HS grad level or above, regardless of length of original sentence, unless they are found to be developmentally delayed/retarded. That should be the case in the US--Maybe not hold them over the length of their sentence, but make continuing the GED process part of their parole/probation requirements.

As to putting them to work while in prison, this is already done. Many corporations, paying pennies a day, use prisoners the same way feudal lords used to use serfs and plantations, slaves. So there is no incentive there to decrease jail populations....
 PaganGoddess77
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Wiretapping bill passes
Posted: 8/5/2007 9:42:33 AM

~wyatt, msg. 2
...however, laws like these only affect those who have SOMETHING to hide or fear. I say, let the authorities go through my phone, credit card records, garbage, whatever, if it means my family and I have that much more of a greater chance to safely board and airpcraft or travel. I have nothing to hide.


Hmm, two things immediately sprang to my mind when reading the above. One was the many versions extant of the following, generally attributed to Pastor Martin Niemollar, an early supporter of Hitler who was later held in concentration camps for eight years.

First they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Socialists, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't a Socialist.
Then they came for the sick, the so-called incurables, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't mentally ill.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up--
because I wasn't a Catholic.
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak up for me.


There are a lot of versions of this, since he never officially "wrote" the poem, only referenced similar remarks in many speeches over the years, and it can be updated to fit today's world quite handily....

The second thing that is always in my mind these days is the following quote from one of our founding fathers.

Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

Benjamin Franklin, Pennsylvania Assembly: Reply to the Governor, November 11, 1755.


I think old Ben had it right on the money.

Our government is getting scarier and scarier. We the people need to stand up to our elected officials, both Democans and Republicrats, and regain our power. We need to return to the ideal envisioned by our founders of temporary Citizen-politicians, filling short-term positions for the good of their fellow citizens, and do away with all the permanent Career-politicians, whose main goals appear to be to line their pockets and those of their cronies at the expense of the American public and to stay in power as long as possible. Our founding fathers never envisioned politics a career in itself, but rather something responsible citizens would assume as a temporary public service (and expected it to be somewhat of a hardship, at that) before returning to their private lives and previous careers.
 
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