How to gently and respectfullly decline a date... chat & forums.

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Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

How to gently and respectfullly decline a date... Posted: 6/24/2006 6:16:04 PM
Having been on the receiving end of this kind of thing, I know I prefer to actually be told "hey, I appreciate the attention, but I'm really not interested" (or words to that effect). A lot of women try to use euphemisms and hints -- let me tell you, this is asking for a hassle. Some guys (like... uh... me...) have a tin ear for them. If there's any ambiguity at all, we tend to assume, "hey, she hasn't said 'no,' I must still have a chance!" And it's not that we're pigs or don't respect your decision -- in my case at least, it's just that I'm lousy at reading between the lines. Drawing a diagram with clearly labelled parts is the best approach, because it can't be misinterpretted. Hope this helps.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Challenging? What for? Posted: 6/24/2006 2:09:34 PM
It's the same thing as when job postings make it sound like you have to be an astronaut, brain surgeon, and contract lawyer all at the same time just to get past the resume screeners. The idea is to scare off anyone who's just scattering messages off to anyone female and half way attractive.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I Need a Reality Check Please Posted: 6/24/2006 2:01:24 PM
These guys don't know you at all. They're just sending out mass emails knowing the odds are in their favor to get one positive response the more emails they send out. Don't give them the satisfaction of letting anything they say or do bother you. They aren't worth it. In fact, I would go so far as to say that responding at all to messages like that just encourages them. Again, like spam: if you ever get a spam message that claims to have an "unsubscribe" message, for the love of Gord do NOT click on it. That tells them they have a live one. Same thing here. Best thing to do is just delete it without replying. If everyone did that, they'd get "proper" feedback. They only do it because, as was mentioned before, sometimes it works. And if they message back with something abusive (i.e. bad language or the like), either delete it or report them to a moderator.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Highlighting Quotes in Messages. Posted: 6/24/2006 7:48:00 AM
(quote) hello (/quote) what am I doing wrong ???? You almost got it. Just do the same thing you did in the first line I quoted above, but instead of using ( and ) use [ and ] Another approach would be to copy the entire line above the smilies (where it says "This allows you to quote a previous post") then delete the text part. Then, copy or type what you want to quote in between the tags.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 86 (view)

Dating is all about income Posted: 6/20/2006 5:08:32 PM
In the past week I've had two promising exchanges here on PoF suddenly turn dead silent once the subject of income came up. Very interesting... What's especially interesting is - I USED to have a pretty good income (over $70 K) - then the company I worked for went belly up, and the skills I had turned out to be most relevant to the products that company made so replacing the income was, shall we say, problematic. - SO, I embarked on an aggressive plan to retrain myself so I could get that level of income back. - That plan is approaching completion (2-3 months). But evidently none of that matters. The deciding factor apparently is, "how much did you bank last week?" I suppose I can understand the reaction - but don't expect me to be impressed.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Puking me out! Why? Posted: 6/12/2006 1:58:17 PM
^^^^^ Of course this cure has been known to cause some regurgitation episodes too... ymmv

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 475 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 6/10/2006 9:20:19 AM
precious few profiles that are that long are worth the read, but in their defense the occasional one makes you laugh so hard you have to write them and tell them... even if you're not interested... well at least that's what i do. I was actually thinking of sending her a message along the lines of "what your novel needs is a good editor - and as a technical writer, I may be the guy you're looking for!

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Whats with the games? Posted: 6/10/2006 8:34:48 AM
I had to slow down a little and not be so needy or anxious for a relationship. I seem to get better reciprocation when I am not in a hurry to get things moving. I used to be so needy and I know most of the time the women left because of my neediness and desire to get things going too fast. I have learned to work on me first and sometimes I fail miserably and become a complete ass. I then get back up and go at it again. Amen to that.

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Whats with the games? Posted: 6/10/2006 6:24:25 AM
I feel for you, man (been there...) but at the same time, it is a dating site.... It's a little naive to think we're the only person that someone is talking to at a time. Odds are she was single when she started talking to you. Let's put it this way - did she at any time tell you that you were the only one she was talking to here? And, were you talking to any other girls on the site in that time? Everyone here is looking for someone. I don't think we do ourselves any favours by getting upset if one girl decides after a while that we're not the one for her. (And trust me, I learned that one the hard way very recently - the bandages should come off in 30 or 40 years....)

Joined: 6/9/2006

Msg: 472 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 6/10/2006 6:03:37 AM
I have solved this no profile reading delimma. I put a secret message in my profile... and if you don't use the magic word you get a read deleted... and it serves you right" Fair enough, BUT, as has also been pointed out, some profiles are just too freakin' long. (not yours specifically... and no I won't spoil your code word here ). One profile I looked at last night was three screens long, and it read like she just added a few random paragraphs every day. Evidently she doesn't know the difference between a profile and a blog...

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