Do you have a poem to share with the rest of us? Post it here chat & forums.

online dating service

REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

Posted In Forum:

Home

login

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Do you have a poem to share with the rest of us? Post it here

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Do you have a poem to share with the rest of us? Post it here Posted: 2/24/2007 6:47:30 PM
The Layers Stanley Kunitz I have walked through many lives, some of them my own, and I am not who I was, though some principle of being abides, from which I struggle not to stray. When I look behind, as I am compelled to look before I can gather strength to proceed on my journey, I see the milestones dwindling toward the horizon and the slow fires trailing from the abandoned camp-sites, over which scavenger angels wheel on heavy wings. Oh, I have made myself a tribe out of my true affections, and my tribe is scattered! How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses? In a rising wind the manic dust of my friends, those who fell along the way, bitterly stings my face. Yet I turn, I turn, exulting somewhat, with my will intact to go whereever I need to go, and every stone on the road precious to me. In my darkest night, when the moon was covered and I roamed through wreckage, a nimbus-clouded voice directed me: "Live in the layers, not on the litter." Though I lack the art to decipher it, no doubt the next chapter in my book of transformations is already written. I am not done with my changes.

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 78 (view)

If Italian need not apply Posted: 7/25/2006 2:07:56 PM
Hey YO fuggetaboudit! Dis dame dunno what sheez missin... Then again maybe she's doing the entire male, italian populace a huge favor. Badda-Bing!

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

can men accept someone with bipolar? Posted: 7/19/2006 12:51:39 PM
I was in a relationship with a woman for 4 years diagnosed as bipolar and manic depressive. So yes it can happen, does happen and will continue to happen. I know from experience that it can be very difficult and confusing but the more time spent trying to understand the person and what they deal with, the easier it is to figure out why things happen the way they do sometimes, and not take it personally, which was one of MY hardest things to understand, but I understood it better over time. My suggestion is, that if a person REALLY wants to try a serious relationship with someone with BP or any other similar diagnosis is to find the closest support group and go to it. You need to hear from a neutral and informed source what to expect and how people deal with it. These are serious issues that need to be discussed openly and talking to real people who deal with real issues are your best bet. And for those of you who are tempted to use the word 'crazy' casually or suggest that all women are bipolar... obviously have not taken any time to understand the reality of the situation. Calling someone crazy is just ignorant and inconsiderate, if it were you with a mental diagnosis, I can't imagine you would appreciate being called crazy.

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in.. Posted: 7/19/2006 12:30:08 PM
To put it as simply as possible (and this does not answer your question but is the best way to deal with it) go forward with NO EXPECTATION. NONE If someone looks interesting, write 'em, talk to 'em, hell spraypaint their name on the wall of city hall if you like but do not, DO NOT in any way shape or form have any expectation that they will: Write back Be interested Stay interested Care in the slightest And this applies at every point of your dialog. If things are going great and it fizzles for no known reason, so be it. It's just too easy to be impersonal online with no intention to be hurtful, its just the nature of the beast. Once you have met a person in real life, it tends to get a LITTLE better but again there are more reasons than blades of grass that people blow each other off and act rude. Dont take it personally and dont have any expectation. If someone does not follow up, remind yourself that it is their loss and wish them well. Breath deep, remind yourself that you have blessings in your life with or without a relationship, and move on. Time and life are too prescious to wonder why flaky people do flaky things.

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Why do guys do this?? Posted: 7/19/2006 12:14:08 PM
So just out of curiosity, did you ever call this dude and ask 'What gives?" Always best to go to the source with questions, otherwise its all conjecture, as you can see. Maybe he is an International Man of Mystery and got called to Budapest to foil some fiendish global domination plot Then again maybe he's just a schmuck...

Joined: 6/19/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do guys do this?? Posted: 7/3/2006 10:58:15 AM
As has been noted, it's not just men who do this so please don't feel like it's a gender thing. It seems to me it's more a matter of: "I don't know you/like you well enough to take the time to think about treating you the way I like to be treated" Simple as that. If people took a moment to think about what they said in the past and how they act on it in the present and future, it would be a much more civil and understandable society. But most people don't take that time and some are simply not aware that it's a negative behavior. We are all busy, we all have things to do, etc. Maybe someone figures, 'Well the other person is dating/looking to date, so they understand that this is casual until we say otherwise' and they mistake casual for 'lack of courtesy'. I adjusted my thinking on this a while back. Instead of drifting into the 'What is wrong with this person to act like a schmuck?' or the even more tempting 'What is wrong with ME to cause this person to act like a schmuck?' I approach the whole 'people' thing like I do planting seeds. You plant em, you do the initial work, you set things up for sucess as best as you are able and then you let nature take its course. If some seeds don't germinate, I don't hover over the planter and mutter 'Whats wrong with you!' or 'Why dont you like me enough to call me, I mean...grow!?', etc... You do your part, act as you know you should, take responsibility for your OWN actions and let go of the rest. Better to simply have hope than expectation. And don't take it personally, you don't need clueless people who actions don't follow thier words. How many of THOSE relationship stories have you read? Better to let someone show their colors early on and respond accordingly.

Show ALL Forums