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 Author Thread: Hogan And Bischoff Join TNA
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Hogan And Bischoff Join TNA
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:04:05 PM
I am a little shocked at this. To me Hogan was never a great skilled wrestler but was one of the best wrestling entertainers of all time. Yes we all know of his feuds with Vince but I really thought Hogan would come back time to time in WWE or guest host or something.

No offense to Flair but he had to keep wrestling past his prime due to financial problems. That was sad because I think they ought to retire when they are still well physically. I do think a bit of why Hogan is with TNA now is for the money.

Yes, his former wife got half and he still has money but not what he is used to and with no show, he is not in the spotlight and to me he is someone who craves the spotlight and having adoring fans. For this reason, he will always try to be around and in the press, doing what he can to be in the spotlight.

I do respect icons and legends but sometimes when you are past your prime, you are past your prime. Not saying that Hogan is because he still looks to be good shape but there are some who wrestle past their prime.

When your manboobs sag into your wrestling boots, hang the boots up.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
WWE needs a legends title
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:59:12 PM
In my opinion, WWE has too many titles and it's always the same people getting those titles. I am so sick of the same fueds and matches over and over again. I think Vince has too many wrestlers and therefore, good talent is going to waste because they can't be pushed. If I have to see Cena vs Orton again I am going to lose it.

They also have too many ppv's. I now only get the main ones. Come on, a ppv every 3 weeks and sometimes they have two ppv's in a month. Not usually but at times. PPV's used to mean something too and a lot of work went into them. Some of them now are just like watching Raw on Monday nights.

With all the ppv's, so many belts and the same matches, I don't know why I watch half the time. I see many wrestlers who have little talent who could be fired. Why not get rid of some of the filler wrestlers and give a push to good ones who don't get much air time.

Smackdown needs a lot of improving. I like the guest host thing but I do miss the Vince-Steph-Shane family fueds. In my humble opinion, the best I ever enjoyed wrestling was in the middle of the 90's to about 2002.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Does exclusivity applies in FWB relationship?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:48:25 AM
Call me a prude, but situations like this are reasons why I don't have random sex.

I know in FWB it is not a relationship but if you are having sex with more than one person, it is your obligation to tell them. I think we all need to be more careful these days with STD's, AIDS and lots of other things.

I hope a condom is being used each and every time.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Testing Pasta For Doneness
Posted: 5/1/2009 4:09:48 PM
I was not sure if throwing it against the wall would somehow damage the paint so what I do is this, I don't set a timer or anything. When it looks cooked, I take out a piece and throw it at my dog. If it sticks to his face fur, it is cooked. If it falls off the face fur then it is not cooked. Either way, he gets to then have a piece so I thinks he likes my way of testing the pasta.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Smoking....In the House?
Posted: 5/1/2009 4:04:12 PM
You bought the house, you made the downpayment and probably even before she entered your life. Unless the deed is in both your names, you make the rules. If you don't want her to smoke in the house, that is your right and if she wants to smoke in a house, she can go and buy her own house.

I smoke but if I moved into someone elses house and they did not want me to smoke inside, I would go outside. That is just common respect.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Should I meet this guy ?
Posted: 4/30/2009 2:06:39 PM
I am one for giving people the benefit of the doubt but I would not in this case. I mean, now that you listed all those things, I would run. You are right not to ask for reason or explanation. He will just lie about it. His behavior is more than shady.

1. I used to not have photos on here to protect my privacy but would send them in email to people. I only ever had a problem uploading one photo, I think because it was too big. I change my photos and I never had a problem not being able to upload more than one so he excuse is bs. Why can't he scan some at home and send them to you via private email?

2. I have private number, so I don't just think it is shady when someone calls me from private number. But it is shady when combined with all the rest of what he says and does.

3. I have had times where my MSN went down or the batteries in my phone died. If my phone died, I would send email right away to explain. Or if MSN went down and I had the persons number, I would call to explain. The fact that he does neither is strange.

4. Number 4 is straight up shady behavior and there is nothing he could say to defend himself on this one.

5. No home phone, that is okay but out of state cell number is making me caution against him and not just because he is probably married. Why would a person have out of state number. It makes no sense. Unless a person just moved, no one has out of state number that I know of.

Actually, I think you should ask him and come back here with his response so we can all laugh at him.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is strong connection to family an asset?
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:56:26 PM
I would not think bad of them or not have anything to do with them if they did not talk to their family. It could be due to a lot of valid reasons. Perhaps they were abused, perhaps their family has no morals or values etc. There are many valid reasons for someone having nothing to do or little to do with their family. I believe that just because someone is family, it does not give them a free ride to misuse someone and we just tolerate it because they are family. We have boundaries with friends and with partners so who not have them with family? I don't associate with cetain types of people and if my family was that way, I could not associate with them either. Never put up with things from family that you would not put up with from anyone else.

There are people who are selfish and have good families and just don't associate with them. But I find it is more of the first example and not usually because they just choose not to.

Being close to a family is not always good. What if they are a true mommy's boy or daddy's little girl in the way that they allow their mom or dad to control their lives? What if they spent every waking moment with family and rarely just spent time alone with you? What if all vacations were with family and never just the two of you?

It is case by case situation with me.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Should I meet this guy ?
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:49:53 PM
Some of the people I know don't have home phones, they just have cell phones so that would not make me think twice.

The fact that he is only available during the day, the dropped calls and the leaving MSN so quickly would in fact make me think he was married or living with someone. At best, he is lining you up because he feels a breakup is on the way and he wants someone waiting in the wings. This is still unacceptable.

Always trust your gut and listen to it.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
At what point should I tell my date what I did???? part 2
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:43:31 PM
In no way is what you did right and it is horrible. But however, I can understand why you did it. Some people take break ups really hard and as a result, their personality changes, it is like for a short time, they become insane or snap and do things they would not normally do. This is rare however where it is actually a mental thing and not just an angry person seeking revenge. If your head was in a bad place, that happens. Sometimes the mind does what it does and for a short time we are unable to determine a right from a wrong. I refer to it as a psychological break from reality. Where we don't have insight as to what is wrong and what it right or an understanding of it. Chemical imbalances can be caused due to huge life stressors and once there is a chemical imbalance, a lot of things can happen to that person and it changes them.

Maybe you were just seeking revenge or maybe it was such a stressor that you had no appreciation that your actions were wrong when you were in that moment.

My questions would be if it was something to due with revenge or was it more psychological. Are you remorseful? What actions have you taken to ensure this won't happen again? Have you gone to anger management? Have you completed counselling? Do you have better coping skills this time around?

It would not be something to share on a first date. However, don't hide it.

I would not date you, even though I understand the actions. But to me, what you have or have not done since, is key.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Privacy? why would you ask that after two dates?
Posted: 4/7/2009 12:56:30 PM
I am a very private person. In fact, I am one of the most private person that my friends know. But to take it that far is just plain silly. The only time it would make sense was if you two worked at the same office, he was some sort of celebrity or if he was married or in an exclusive relationship. I keep my personal life to those who know me but why be so private that you can't go out in public? It does not make sense and if something does not make sense it is not the truth so he is spinning you a tale.

He is married or in a relationship. I'd bet a new pair of Choo's on it.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Does someone considering dating me have a right to know??
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:30:59 AM
It was not funny to send that video to you but it was not funny to say to him that you hope he is not really a psycho. I'm sure each of you thought they were funny things to do though. What if he had a family member who was a paranoid schizophrenic and your comment hurt him emotionally?

I do agree that you only need to disclose what you feel comfortable with and if someone presses you then they are not worthy of your time. That is your private information and it is up to you to disclose it.

In my opinion, why would they even ask that? How is that their business if your ex pays child support or not. That is just too nosy.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Is this generation too spoiled for marriage?
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:12:49 AM
To be fair, I am not referring to marriages where someone has been abusive, committed a crime, cheated or where parties are unhappy. It is too easy to get a divorce these days. Before you needed a reason and now you can get divorced if you no longer like the nose of your spouse. To me that is not a reason. It's an excuse.

People are too easy to just give up on someone. I know a relationship is not suppose to be work but there are times when one does have to do some work to make it successful. Get to know the person before you run off to Vegas to get married. Talk about things like finances, sex and children before you get married. Most couples do not and then they wonder why they fight over how to raise their child.

I realize some marriages do need to end but a lot don't. It's a matter of some people thinking the grass is always greener and they just give up. They get married, stop having sex, stop going out on dates and doing the things they did before they got married. Getting married does not mean that you let yourself go.

I am not going to quote stats but I can only share what I have seen. When working within the family court system for a small time, you would not believe the silly reasons why people wanted to get a divorce. I know that is where the big money is but my head and my heart could not handle it. I've heard things like someone chews too loud. Well, this now bothers you after 5 years of marriage? Give me a break.

I would not say spoiled but we think people are disposable today. Just get someone new or leave someone at the first sign of struggle. And people wonder why I don't ever want to get married.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
am I wrong for being mad??
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:02:37 AM
A good friend will never go after the guy that their friend likes.

That being said, you two are only friends. In my opinion, he has gone above and beyond what any man should do. It is not up to him to make you take your wall down, it is not up to him to rebuild yourself esteem and you should never look to a man or to anyone else for this.

You say you are mad at them because they made you feel like you were rejected. No one can make you feel anything. We only allow others to make us feel a certain way. The blame is not on them. I can understand if you are upset by the actions but they have not made you feel anything.

I think you need to work on your self esteem before you begin dating. Right now it seems to me that you are turning to a man thinking he will give you that self esteem. No relationship is going to work out if you do not feel as through you are worthy of being loved. We are all worthy of love. You need to love yourself first before you can love anyone.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Have I lost my dignity?
Posted: 4/4/2009 3:09:16 AM
I think you moved too fast. You two didn't get to know each other before you moved in. Regardless, we all think and hope that things will work out but reality says it probably won't. My rule book is this; silly choices were for my youth. Now that I am an adult and have grown, I do not live with anyone unless I have been in an exclusive relationship with them for a year. Do not let go of your apartment if you rent or sell your house right away if you own. Things could not go well and you son't want to end up on the street or sleeping on someone's sofa. If after a few months things go well, give up the apartment or sell the house. Then save money so that if things so wrong, you are able to get an apartment right away. This to me, makes sense.

I have no clue why she allows her ex husband to stay at her house for one night, let alone for months and especially now that you live with her. If you live there and you pay your half then you have a say in this.

Why can't he stay at one of their kids places?

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
The fine line between friendly and too friendly - where does the favour end?
Posted: 4/3/2009 5:27:25 PM
And what kind of movie did the two of you rent? lol

I just can't stop laughing, I have tears in my eyes and I'm also snorting. I'm speechless for the first time in my life and it had to be bad if you were left speechless. :)

I have no clue what I would have done. I would have been so shocked that I either would have laughed in his fact or have turned red, apologized and covered it back up. How to even look him in the face after that or regain composure and try to have a conversation. I would have left and I would totally uncomfortable to ever see him again. I would always have the picture in my mind of him spanking the monkey.

That reminds me of the time I went to the zoo and a monkey was spanking and a kid asked his mom what he was doing and the mom said he was playing. Her face was bright red after her kid asked him that.

I now have to tell everyone I know this story. Sorry Pssst but I just have to. I think even my dog is giggling now.

~Carrie

PS. I am curious to know what he would have done with his hummm, man juice when he was done.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How can someone just give up on a good thing without reason?
Posted: 3/31/2009 1:39:38 PM
From your side of the story, it was her who did everything wrong and you were Mr. Perfect through the whole thing. I doubt that is true. I am sure if she gave her side, she would be able to tell us a story that is different than the one you provided us with. There has to be a reason why she went from hot to cold and so quickly. Most people do not have a perfect relationship, walk out of it for no reason whatsoever and then get into a relatioship with someone else. I am not saying it is not possible, but most people do not do this. I just think there is more to this story.

Some of my thoughts are that even if she told you she was free of issues with her husband, it was too soon for her to get into a relationship and that was the first error on both your parts. If you wanted to believe her, I understan that but things should have been taken more slowly.

She wanted too much too soon from you and you should have seen that as a big red flag, error number two.

While she was on vacation you tried to get into contact with her. I understand the frustration at not being able to get into contact with her but keeping on calling seems to be the actions of someone who is desperate. I'm sure that you were worried about her but calling or trying to get into contact with her as much as did during that time is overboard. Maybe she just went on a vacation to have fun. I do not think though it was proper for her not even to call to say she got there safely or anything.

When she came back you ran into her at work and I understand you wanting to talk right away but the workplace is never ever a place to bring these issues to. I understand her saying she did not want to talk about it and walk away. But as an adult she should have at least told you she would talk to you after work about it. Work is for work and relationship issues should not be brought up there.

After that you kept calling and trying to get her to talk to you. You also kept approaching her work. That is a mistake. At this point you should have gotten the hint and left her alone. We cannot make someone talk to us or make someone give us closure. I know that is what you wanted but people ar under no obligation to give us that.

When you found out she was dating someone else you said you 'confronted' her about it. Why was there a need to confront. It is her life now and you two were no longer together.

Then after that you kept bugging her to give you closure. This is where it gets creepy to me. I understand why you did it but that does not make it right. I am not saying you were stalking her but you had no right to keep contacting her over and over again to find out why. We don't always get to know why.

All you can do now is learn the lesson, keep it in your mind so you don't make the same mistakes and carry on.

But I think you are in a state of denial if you think you did nothing wrong at all.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Requesting for DNA testing of child! Prudent or Offensive? Grounds for Divorce?
Posted: 3/31/2009 1:17:01 PM
There are times when a man has a valid reason to ask for a DNA test. Some of the examples would be, if the wife or girlfriend has a history of cheating, you know the wife or girlfriend cheated on you, or if you both are white for example and the baby comes out Asian. However, in my opinion, it is insulting to ask for a DNA test to be done if the grounds for it are that you are a product of someones cheating.

I am sure it was hard on him and it turned his world upside down. There needs to be a time when he takes ownership and works on his issues. He cannot just assume that his wife cheated and now want a DNA test. I would refuse to do it on that grounds. If he wanted to try to take legal action for me to get one. I would then but I would also decide not to be with him after that.

If you marry someone then it should mean that you trust them. It should mean that you do not pass on the sins of your mother to your wife. That is not fair nor is it reasonable to do so. I could not be married to a man who did not trust me or thought that because his mom did something, I would do it too.

I think he needs some therapy to work on his issues.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is this a self-esteem issue with men?
Posted: 3/31/2009 2:58:51 AM
Trust me on this, your friend knows he's being used and to him it's okay because he likes the abuse.He knows she is playing with him that's okay because he has no self esteem. He probably thinks he sould stick up for himself but he probably thinks it's better this way. The more he suffers, the more it shows he cares right? Yeah. He has no self esteem.

Compliments to Korky for putting this into my head. :)

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 249 (view)
 
It's a Coffee!
Posted: 3/31/2009 2:23:40 AM
Now it is at 11 pages. At this time I would like to inform everyone that I sold a pair of my shoes and with the money, I am treating us all to coffee. I hope that we can all get along for the short time it takes to drink this coffee. Just to avoid complaints, because I know we all love to do that, you can have tea, flavored tea, coco etc in place of your coffee. I am not ordering for you because it's not a date, it's a coffee meet.

Now this can end peacefully.

I'm not too cheap to buy a coffee for someone. I'm able to order for myself and for another person if need be.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Question of etiquette in society
Posted: 3/31/2009 2:16:32 AM
I could not agree with you more OP. When I was about 16, I was staying with my cousin in America. Her husband's career required both of them to attend public functions in what most call high society. Basically people with old money or with professions that allowed them to live a certain lifestyle. As a result, I was given classes via Charm School on proper social etiquette because I wanted to go to some of these functions with them. I grew up in the country so I had no expose to these type of things before.

I was taught how to walk properly, sit properly, what to do when you greet someone and all of that. I know most people don't get to experience these things and I will probably not to be able to again. I do think though that people should be taught proper table manners and proper social graces.

It is not about holding a door for a woman because she is a woman, I can get my own door. It's about how to have manners for everyone and to show these manners.

I still buy thank you notes and give them out. I also keep blank cards around in case I want to send a note to someone just to say I am thinking of them. I use email quite a bit but still hand writing a note is nicer than an email, which is me can be informal at times.

It does seem that some people have little to no manners. For example, I was taught that if I did not have a tissue, to cough or sneeze into my sleeze and never on my hands. I see people sneezing on their hand and then offer it to me to shake. Icky.
I hear people sneeze on the phone and do not say excuse me. I don't hear many teenagers or children say please or thank you anymore.

It's a shame really. I am not saying everyone needs to have formal manners at all times but people should at least have basic manners. You don't have to be a member of Mensa to realize that if someone hold a door for you, to say thank you and it is painfree as well.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
What do you think he means?
Posted: 3/30/2009 1:35:59 PM
I don't think that anyone is trying to imply that you are a sinner OP. I don't think it is about people trying to be the morality police either. It is just that for some, they need the whole situation so they can then give a more educated opinion on the matter.

To some it is strange a husband writes to his wife all the time but since you said he was a driver, it now makes sense.

There is a diference between how a husband uses the words "I appreciate you" vs how a lover, a family member, or friends say those words. I think that is all the other posters meant when they got confused as to who this guy was.

I do have to say that I agree with the OP. Where I grew up was mostly French and where I live now it has a high French community. So not all people who write in English are actually English and even if they do understand it, at times it does come out in their postings as a result.

As far as spelling or grammar differences, it does not mean she is drunk. I am dyslexic so at times I might put a , in the wrong place or have a spelling error if I do not use spell check or if I write while I am stressed. I just see numbers and letters backwards and if I do not focus, I make mistakes. However, most people do not even know I am dyslexic because my spelling and grammar is much better than a lot of people on here.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Ladies, would appreciate your thoughts on this subject
Posted: 3/30/2009 1:16:56 PM
I've had a couple of guy friends get a gift for their girfriend and the relationship ended before he was able to give her the gift. These guy friends offered me the gift because they could not return it. I accepted it and not did think bad about it. I was happy to have the gift and appreciated that they gave it to me. But that is with male friends.

If I found out a guy I was dating gave me a gift that was meant for a new girl, I would stop dating him. A person just does not do that.

If it were me, I would send the gift. You bought it because you liked you. I would sent it and just write a little not advising you had bought it when both of you were on speaking terms and you cannot return it so you would still like her to have it. This way she can see it is not a bribe for her to talk to you again.

I have people I have 'met' on here and we exchange birhtday presents, Christmas presents etc. We have not physically met but do this because we are online friends who think the world of each other. This is the only time I recommend buying a gift for someone you do not know.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Seeking Advice for Sticky Situation
Posted: 3/30/2009 1:04:06 PM
I try to not think that every man just wants FWB if they talk about getting back together. Sure that could be it but it's not right to just assume. It could be that he broke up with you for a number of reasons and since you have not talked to him, he realized how much he did care and wants to try again. It could really be as simple as that. Not every man who wants to get back together or says they just want to be friends, is looking for FWB. Give him the benefit of the doubt that he could be serious about it.

I would not make a decision right now. Tell him you need time to think. Do your soul searching and see where both your heart and head guide you.

It could be possible he does just want FWB so keep that in mind in you do decide to try again.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
The L Word
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:58:14 PM
It's not a contest of who will say it first. It's not about only saying it after you know they love you or have told your first. It is about saying it when you truly mean it and also backing it up with actions.

Tell someone you love them when you realize it. Life is too short not to tell them. I know that is cliche but I realized this after my father died when I was a teenager. He was here one day and gone the next. After that I realized it was important to tell others I love them and tell them when I do love them instead of holding out on waiting to hear it first.

Never say I love you unless you mean it. I know some people who say it when they do not feel it. They only say it because they feel as though they have to because it was said to them.

If you love him tell him and do not wait to hear it first.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
is this cheating?
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:33:24 PM
I would not call it cheating because they did not have any physical contact, they did not have cyber sex or even an indepth sexual conversation. What he did was shady, in poor taste and shows that he lacks class, morals and values.

If he received a text in error, all he had to do was either ignore it or text back that it was the wrong number. He had to right to converse with that person, who is a female and hear stories of her piercings.

I'm curious, if he got a text asking what his hobbies were how would he know it was a girl asking him?

He was the one who first brought up sex, thus creating a path for more sexual conduct to be talked about. That is super shady and not spiffy at all.

It does not mean that he is going to go out and cheat but I would now question what else he would do, just like you are doing now. You need to tell him it was wrong, he was the one who first brought up sex to this stranger and it is wrong of him to not try and see your point of view. If he still acts like he did nothing wrong or try to see where you are coming from, I would worry about that. I would decide what to do after a good conversation. I find most of the time I don't get that upset over what a person does but get the most upset when they act like it is not their fault, they did nothing and don't try to see where I am coming from.

Keep this in your memory back to watch future behavior.

~Carrie

Edit: I did not list as cheating because from what I read, he told her what he was doing. If he did hide it and only told her after or if she caught him, then it is cheating because he kept it a secret.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Acting black or white
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:16:30 AM
The media gives us a perception of what they view as how white people act and how black people act. According to the media, all black people wear their hats backwards, wear baggy clothes, have grills of silver or gold, wear a lot of gold and are uneducated. According to the media, all white people wear suits no matter where we go, use fancy words, and act like we have a stick up our butts.

I think not all black people and not all white people are any one way. I'm sure in life it depends more on where you grew up, the level of income etc as to how you act. It's not a black or white thing. I'm sure all people who were brought up on old money act similar to each other and all people who were brought up in the ghetto act similar to each other. It could be seen as white vs black thing only because it seems more white people are brought up with money than black people.

I think we should all just act how we are. I find it offensive for someone to say to me that because I am white it is because I do this. I also find it offensive for someone to say to someone, you are black so that is why you do this.

Just be who you are without having to add a label of color to it.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 134 (view)
 
It's a Coffee!
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:34:02 PM

"I'd love some coffee," I mentioned then paused. He did not take the opportunity to offer anything


1. He invited her for coffee so he should have paid. If she invited him, she should have paid. You can get a coffee for $2.00.

2. Even let's say he offered to pay, if a woman is that concerned about paying for things she could have offered to buy him a cookie or cake with the coffee.

3. I do not like people who are so cheap and nickle&dime everything, always making sure they don't pay more than one penny more than they have to. I know the economy is bad people but if it gets to the point where we can't buy someone a $2.00 coffee for a meet, we should just not date.

4. I do not like how OP has this sense of entitlement. Saying;

"I'd love some coffee," I mentioned then paused. He did not take the opportunity to offer anything


No problem saying "I would love some coffee." I often say that while out on a drive with someone and we stop for coffee. Sometimes they pay, sometimes I pay. I don't keep a tally. The problem lies with the comment of him not offering. All he had to offer was to go and wait in line. Just because you are a woman does not mean a man has to pay for you. You seem to think that.

I do think whoever asked should pay but with that being said, just because a guy asks us out for coffee does not mean that because we are women he "has" to pay. Notice I said whoever asked "should" pay. Big difference.

I know I'm a woman but I'm tired of women going on about equal rights and then still expect men to pay their way.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
What do you think he means?
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:21:15 PM
I read a lot of forums from men who state they don't understand women, don't know why they get upset at certain small things and some even bash women. I am not saying it is right to bash anyone but now with this thread, I feel as though I finally understand.

Men just can't seem to win or get a break. You say he acts like a gentleman and he says that he tells you he appreciates you. So he is showing through action and words how much he loves you, you even state that he tells you he loves you.

You are upset because he usually tells you he appreciates you. Do you know how many women would kill to hear that. A woman at home all day with the kids, cleaning, and cooking and she never gets to hear the words, "I appreciate you."

You have someone who treats you well, adores you and tells you this but you get angry hearing or reading him telling you he appreciates you. I think he deserves to have someone who appreciates him because it seems to me that you don't.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
From sex to abstinance?
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:15:38 PM
I agree with post #8. You tell us not to question your beliefs but at the end of your post, you are the one questining.

If you go to church and want to do what the bible says, that is fine and I respect that. However, I do not respect someone who goes to church and only lives by the parts of the bible they agree with. To me you either are all the way in or all the way out.

You say "we" are stating to get into going to church but it seems as though it is only you having a problem with the no sex before marriage issue. From your post it seems to me that now you want marriage. Is it just to have sex, because that is not a valid reason to get married.

If he wants to stop having sex unil marriage, that is his choice. But if you don't agree with it, do not try to talk him out of his new beliefs. I think both of you need to sit down and talk, go to therapy if need be. If that does not work then you need to break up with him.

~Carrie

EDIT: Thank you, I confused the post. :)
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
WTH is going on?!?!
Posted: 3/28/2009 2:30:06 PM
Sure it might have been a small lie but if he would lie about that then what else will he lie about? His excuse was that he does this to test women as to how they will react. So not only is he is liar but he plays head games too.

An accent is not a deal breaker but for me, a liar and someone who plays games is a deal breaker. He wants to see how they will react and if they react badly he moves on. I'm sorry but I would react badly is someone lied to me, especially over something so small. I think most of us would react badly.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
*Sigh*… my hero / what the hell was he thinking?
Posted: 3/28/2009 2:21:30 PM
I was raised like that. I fought my own battles but help was there when I asked for it. It was a rare occassion for one of my brothers to step in. They did so at times when it was necessary. For example, one time when a guy would not leave me alone and kept harrassing me, one of my brothers talked to him about it. No physical assault though.

My mom always told me if I got myself into it, it was then up to me to get myself out of it.

I don't understand why some men or women think that violence solves everything or even that it solves things.

I could see if a man was beating you within an inch of your life and a guy came to the rescue to help. I could understand if the attacker hit him and he had to use equal force back to stop the attacker.

I do not think that going to a bar, having a strange guy insult your lady is a thing that warrents violence. But some men do this and some women seem to love it.

At sometimes if the situation is that bad where it puts a woman in harms way, I can understand when a guy will verbally stick up for her.

However, those times are rare. In daily life we get into problems and such, just because we tell a guy about it does not mean we are asking for help or want him to fix it in anyway. I know when I need help and I ask for it when needed, until then, I am good fighting my own battles.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Help! Is he more than just Cheap?
Posted: 3/28/2009 2:04:42 PM
I am wondering why a lot of the men seem to think she is complaining because he is not always paying for her. I don't see it that way at all. She just thinks it is odd that he always splits things 50/50 and goes out of his way to do this. That is not being a gold digger, if she were a gold digger she would not be dating him if she had to pay her own way.

I have never been in a relationship where things we always exactly 50/50 all of the time. I have never heard of other relationships where this happens either.

Most relationships I know of or those that I have been in, they take turns treating each other. Say that a couple goes to dinner on Monday and the guy picks up the bill of $40.00, on Friday they go to a movie and get treats and the girl picks up the bill of $38.00 who cares if she paid $2.00 less than he did. A relationship is not about being this cheap. The man that the OP is referring to would care that he spent $2.00 more.

What if this guy paid for 50% of the popcorn, is he going to ask for another bag and split up the popcorn exactly 50/50? What if she ends up with a few more pieces, will he want the .05$ for that?

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
In the pursuit of happiness...
Posted: 3/28/2009 1:48:09 PM
This is a quote I have on my profile.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves and it is impossible to find it elsewhere


I only wish that more people would understand it and live by it. We are so busy trying to fill voids in our life. We feel incomplete so we buy things we don't need to try and fill that void, become emotional eaters to fill that void, drink/gamble/drugs to fill the void and look to others to fill that void.

When we do this, we set them up to fail. Having a void in our life is our problem and not the problem of anyone else. If they fall short of us feeling complete, we blame them and toss them aside.

Too many people do not try to find out who they are or what makes them happy. They are ignorant of that.

No one in life can complete you, it is possible to find a person to compliment you though. Too many people do not know the difference.

Great post,by the way.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
For nevermarrieds...what do you think of the question, Why haven't you been married?
Posted: 3/28/2009 1:13:32 AM
I would rather not be married than married just because society says that I have to be. I'm not married and I never plan on getting married. It does not mean anything is wrong with me, that I'm selfish or uncapable of being in a LTR. It just means that I don't want to get married.

I am so sick and tired of people thinking everyone has to get married and if they don't they have issues. There are many married people who have issues. Many married people cheat, are unhappy etc. Why paint a picture that everyone who is married is happy.

I'm so sick of people telling me I will change my mind. Isn't that my decision to make? I'm also sick of people telling me I will change my mind and have kids or telling me I won't find someone to be with.

When asked why I'm not married I stop defending myself and now just tell people it's because I choose not to get married.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Stupid dog?Help needed.lol
Posted: 3/27/2009 3:50:36 AM
A pet needs a collar. What if he got off the property and he ended up at the shelter and since you had no collar on him there is no number for the people at the shelter to call you. A dog should never be tied outside. It is cruel. Animals are our friends and we don't tie our friends outside. Build a good sized fence for him so he cannot escape but still be able to run and play. I'm sure your dog has never bitten anyone but one cannot guarantee that their dog will never bite anyone. What if the dog left the property and attacked a child? Fence him in.

No dog is dumb just like no human is dumb. Perhaps he is slow to learn. Never raise a hand to a dog unless it is to love him. You can train a dog without using abusive methods.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Whats the problem with long hair on a guy ?
Posted: 3/27/2009 3:29:44 AM
Well, if it was a long haired mullet I think I would laugh too much to find anything attractive about that guy. If the hair is clean and kept neat I would have no problem. As others stated, some men can pull it off and some can't. Just like some women can pull off bangs but I can't so I don't.

Never change for anyone. If you want long hair, keep it unless it's a mullet.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 165 (view)
 
If Your BF Joked To You About Raping A Woman, What Would You Do?
Posted: 3/27/2009 3:08:54 AM
Some of the comments on here make me sick to my stomach. We all have a different sense of humor but there is no such thing about making a joke of sexual assault(formally called rape). Those who have been survivors of this go through the worst pain in life. It's worse than murdering someone. At least after the pain and torture go away, they are killed. A woman who is sexually assaulted never gets over that, never has a normal life again and gets to live with PTSD for the rest of their lives. What a great way to life.

If someone said that in my presence I would give them facts about sexual assault and then I would leave and never talk to them again.

Sexual assault is not a thing to joke about and anyone who thinks there is anything funny about it is in need of some therapy and needs to spend time with sexual assault survivors.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Car payment or therape session?
Posted: 3/27/2009 3:03:00 AM
People are in therapy for various reasons. I was taught that basically there are two kinds of people who seek treatment. The first ones are the people who are called 'the living normal' these types of people usually just sit and talk and don't have any mental illness or main problem. The second group of people are the ones who have mental illness or have something they are working on like getting help for the aftermath of a crime committed against them, death in the family etc.

Some people are quicker than others to get better, some people take longer , some people need life long treatment due to mental disorder.

Since she is not talking to you about her therapy then you have no clue as to why she is going. Maybe the therapy session is worth more than the car payment.

She is an adult and the decision is up to her.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
I'm not sure if I did the right thing???
Posted: 3/27/2009 2:22:42 AM
It is against the law to lay your hands on someone the way that you did. If he had hit you first and you used equal amount of force to defend yourself that would be a different story.

If you would have stood up for her and taken control of the situation without having to use violence then I would have called you a hero and told you more people shoud be like you. But you used violence on him to stop him from being violent. How is what you did different? It was done in front of a child too so it is only enforcing what he views at home.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Help! Is he more than just Cheap?
Posted: 3/27/2009 2:19:07 AM
I thought the same thing Rune. I misunderstood and thought he was sitting at the table waiting for her to pay his part.

So you are upset that he has never paid for a meal for you. Maybe he thinks that because so many women go on and on about equal rights that it's only fair for you to pay your half. Maybe he cannot afford to pay your half. Maybe because he spilts things so even he is cheap. We don't know but he does.

If it is a matter of him just being cheap and thus why he made sure that everything was 50/50 all the time, it would annoy me too. I am not saying that anyone has to pay for me but if he picks you up a bottle of water at the store and it's 1.05 for it and you give him a dollar and he waits for you to give him the .05 then it's annoying.

I agree with Rune, it's odd for people to nickel and dime everything when they are dating someone.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/27/2009 2:12:48 AM
Sometimes we can think a person has all the qualities we are looking for, are someone we want to spend time with and are someone we want to be close with but not have to be with them 24/7. Maybe nothing is going on except that he likes to have time to himself.

You say that he pulls you back when you date other men and then you complain he is not available 24/7. I think you need to pick one or the other. If you are dating other men than why does he have to go out of his way for you all the time and contact you all the time? There's this story of having cake and eating it too.

Give him a break, choose what you want to do and talk to him about it.

Even those of us who have been educated on how to understand the human mind cannot read minds. So you need to talk to him.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I would have just laid there and taken it
Posted: 3/27/2009 2:04:33 AM
Not all men who commit sexual assault want the woman to fight back. Not to get too much into it but there are different things to be gained by the men who commit sexual assault. There are a few profile differences as well. There are men who commit sexual assault who don't do any physical harm to the victim, as in beating them, using instruments in the assault etc. After they commit their offense these type of men even ask the woman if it felt good to them. The study of human behavior goes in depth to explain the different things that different offenders are looking to gain.


There are some men who even think that the women who they are violating are their dates. They in their mind actually think the woman gave consent. There are some offenders who even apologize before they leave.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I would have just laid there and taken it
Posted: 3/26/2009 11:18:20 PM
Was the movie The Last House On The Left? I know that one contains a very explicit sexual assault seen.

I think what she meant is that she would have taken it as in not fought them off. To me this implies if she were in that situation she would not fight back in case it angered the attacker which could mean that he would kill her. Some men who sexually assault women won't kill the woman if she seems to enjoy it. We don't know what we would do in that situation, some fight and some pretend to enjoy it hoping no more harm comes their way. The mind will either go into flight or fight mode as a way to protect itself.

Some women also try to personalize themselves with the attacker. Stating their name over and over, telling them about their life etc as a way of hoping they don't just see her as a victim but as a person.

I am not saying any of these is right or wrong, it's all just a way to try to protect yourself from the sexual assault.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How to tell what she is really thinking?
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:58:17 PM
I copied this off the Op's profile.


I don't want kids, nor do I ever want to have to take care of any. I plan on getting a vasectomy the first chance I can, if that turns you off, and it makes me sound rude, well I am very sorry, but that is me.


If you don't want kids and never want to take care of any, perhaps you should practice safe sex since now you have the possibility of being a father.

Your not married, your only 22 and there is a chance you have a child. And you wonder why she now wants nothing to do with you.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Don't fear Auntie...Obama to the Rescue
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:51:03 PM
All I have to say is that the President is suppose to set an example for the American people. There is no way I am going to believe that Obama did not know his aunt was here illegally. For that fact alone, I think charges should be pressed against him as I think charges should be pressed against anyone who knows someone is in America illegally. I bet she gets to stay now because Obama is president and of course the hearings will be closed to the public. That way they can come up with an excuse as to why she can stay without saying the reason is Obama.

I just don't trust Obama.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
When to give up...
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:38:28 PM
I would say when you two have had a talk about being exclusive. Then it's time to hide the profile, update your status. If you use the forums then there is no reason as to why you have to take down your account.

Many people still come on here when they are casually dating someone because many date more than one person at a time, until they are exclusive with someone.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Am I crazy!
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:40:04 PM
No one is crazy, but some people are insane. If one is insane then they don't know it. So if you think you are insane then it means you are sane.

I think you are wide to walk away. I would not even date a man who was seperated and living on his own. Being seperated is different than being divorced.

He still lives in the same house as her and just sleeps in a different bedroom? I can wrap my head around that if it is being done while he is loooking for a new place or due to the economic situation. But if he is still married and living with her, then I would think he is lying about being seperated. That is why he asked for a no strings relationship, because he is not really seperated and is not really going to divorce his wife, at least not in this lifetime.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Stuttering
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:34:10 PM
Stuttering does not make someone less intelligent, a bad person or anything like that. It all has to do with motor skills. As far as dating someone like that, why not? People also need to understand that stress usually causes a person to stutter more. I was also told to never finish the sentences of the person who stutters, always let them finish.

I think that at times we can all get a little frustrated while communicating with someone who stutters. Even if we understand the condition, we as people end up getting impatient and annoyed that it takes so long to get one sentence out.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
If a friend tells you they love you?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:19:45 PM
I agree with Pssst. Any 'good' friend would know I am with someone and would even try to put me in that position. A 'good' friend understands that I love someone else and it is not proper to tell me they care about me or love me when my heart is with another person. I would think that person is selfish to do that.

~Carrie
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Need advice
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:08:37 AM
It seems that in life one has to be a certain size. The average woman wears a size 14. But the women in magazines are a size two. The other night I was reading in a magazine about women who are overweight for the Hollywood industry, they were too curvy. Most of these women were a size 6. When did a size 6 mean that the woman was too curvy or was too big? That is sad.

Most people think the men or women who are overweight are lazy pigs who don't exercise or eat right. It's been my experience that assuming this is wrong. Medications, side effects from medication, health problems and a host of other things makes some men and some women overweight but no one seems to try to understand that.

It does not stop at being overweight either. Due to things beyond my control, I cannot gain weight. I am underweight and when I worked at a certain place I was picked on so bad that I went home crying each night. Everyone assumed I was anorexic, they left food on my desk as a joke, called me silly names regarding having an eating disorder(that I did not even have). They thought it was okay because I was skinny and that skinny people don't have anyone pick on them. Men don't want anyone underweight either. I guess you need to be in the middle of what people think is onder or over weight. It's a shame really.

It will be hard for a bit for you to determine if the guys hitting on you after the weight loss would be the same men who would have ignored you before the weight loss.

Lose the weight for you, as I'm sure that is what you are doing. Ignore the men who never gave you the time of day before.

It's sad to know that some men think being overweight is the worst thing in the world. Pity that most can't just accept a person. Being overweight does not make a person less or mean they are unattractive. Let them keep buying into the social view of what is beauty and what is not.

Funny though as I see many men who are over weight just want to date thin girls. I know this story of a pot and a kettle...

~Carrie

PS. Keep up the good work and congrats on the weight loss.
 
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