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Chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 55 (view)

celebrity encounters Posted: 7/12/2009 8:17:45 PM
I had the pleasure of being in a movie with John Farnham, many years ago. (Such a gentleman). The movie "At Last Bullamakanka", wasn;'t so great . I saw a copy in the ex-rental bin once, Didn't bother to buy it. I did get my picky in the paper with Johnny though. Yay!

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 91 (view)

WHY ARE PEOPLE AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE NOWADAYS??? Posted: 8/21/2007 6:33:28 AM
You just have to be sure that you are the creator of contentment and not the vicim of it.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 65 (view)

What makes us attract the wrong partner? Posted: 8/21/2007 6:22:10 AM
While I love the doctor/patient analogy; I, too, have an unproven theory of my own. I often wonder why we always pick partners with fatal flaws, like Shakespearian characters. I think that at the end of the day we want to hold the Ace card when it all fall in a heap. That need to be right and make another wrong. Then we are justified in saying "We split up because he/she was a gambler, a smoker, a drunk, abusive, rude, obnoxious"... or whatever. I doubt we would ever tell our friends and family "We split up because I wasn't committed or I wasn't considereate enough or I wasn't willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work." Ever noticed it's ALWAYS the other person's fault but they were a "gambler, a smoker, a drunk, abusive, rude, obnoxious"... or whatever when we met them? Mind you; I'm no expert. 100% of my relationships are over.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 81 (view)

HOW CAN U TELL A GIRL U WANT SEX W/OUT OFFENDING HER? Posted: 4/7/2007 10:10:57 PM
Whatever happened to freewill and choice. How would you be if a woman put pressure on you like that? Ever heard of enjoying the date, the company, the companionship, the conversation, the wine, the dinner, the coffee, the movie without an attachment to the outcome. If you can't afford that you might have to look at your finances before looking for a date. Trust me! She already knows you want sex. You're a bloke. A lady, on the other hand, is like an iron... you gotta give her time to warm her up (unless some other guy left her turned on from the night before). 'No' might not be forever. She may have a hundred reasons for saying 'No' today that she doesn't want or need to explain to you and it might not forever. See a pattern emerging here? It sounds like you are ditching them after the first date it they don't put-out. Bottom Line: Try saying nothing... just let it happen with a lady (or ladies) who want to have sex with you. If they are interested, they will let you know. Voila! 100% success rate.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 1038 (view)

wanted Posted: 8/5/2006 10:01:35 PM
The second shortest poem in the workd. Friendship, Courtship, Relationship, Bullship (c) me

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Dropping your contact info... Posted: 8/5/2006 9:55:17 PM
I worked as a bar-tender for 12 years. I must have overheard every pickup line ever used by man on a barmaid then heard their reaction after Mr Smoothie had left the bar. Seriously, guys, you wouldn’t be so quick to pick up a school bus driver or a bank teller during their working hours without alcohol. My advice is if you want them to take you seriously then treat them with respect. She is paid to serve you beer. She gets paid no more for your drivel and dribble. If you think the vibes for you are there over and above professional politeness then go for it. I’m having coffee with a barmaid this week. She accepted because she knows I expect no more than friendship. Will it lead to more? I doubt it. We both started seeing someone new two weeks ago. Will she meet my new girl further down the track? Absolutely! If our respective relationships don’t pan out will I ask her out again? You betcha! On the other side of the coin, you have to remember she works two jobs of works opposite hours to the rest of the world. Neither is conducive to a relationship. The offers come in thick and fast as do the temptations from cuter guys than you and I. Unless you work in the same industry of have similar hours the relationship, even if you get one, could be strained.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

When to take the Profiles down? Posted: 8/5/2006 9:28:03 PM
Hey Kimberley, I took the time to read your profile before responding. My 15-year-old daughter is a horse lover an competitor in dressage. If you get this one worked out, I will be sending her to you for advice in a few years. Because of horses, I do not believe she has discovered boys yet... but that is another story. There is no right or wrong answer to your question. Act on your current reality. It's human nature to keep bridges unburnt. You will probably amend your profile when you are comfortable in the relationship you have found. Perhaps even copy the original dialogue into a word document in case you have to paste it back again at a later date. I make it very clear on my profile that I am "TAKEN" or "LOOKING". This shows the person I am with that I am serious about her and gives her the respect she deserves. I wouldn't tell her. That in itself would indicate desperation. She will check, after all she is human. One day, when I'm permanently not looking I might take all profiles down. I'm on so many websites I'd have to employ a full time secretary for a week to amend or delete them all. LOL. You might also want to read another thread that addresses another aspect of the question, that is consideration for anyone who might be reading your out-of-date profile while you are taking Mr Right for a test-drive.” Go to http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2584956.aspx Mike P.S. I also have separate email addresses for dating and job sites. This way, when I'm not looking, I don't have a heap of spam in my inbox that's not related to my current circumstances and I can safely open my personal hotmail account at work. This removes temptation, doubt and confusion and leaves me focussed on the relationship.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 224 (view)

Why is it so hard to find Mr.Right? Posted: 5/29/2006 4:42:30 AM
That nick "Yummy Foxylady"... is that working for you? You might try puytting a photo on your profle too ;)

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 415 (view)

Broken Cookies? Posted: 11/29/2005 7:27:00 PM
"My Cookie Philosophy" Surround yourself with cookies; but not the broken kind. Surround yourself with whole ones with a heart, a soul, a mind. Whenever you meet a cookie with bits all chipped away be warm and kind and smiling as you bid him a firm "Good day". If your friends are broken cookies crumbs are all you'll find They're sure to insult your intelligence and crumble up your mind They say "Two halves can make a whole" but with cookies you can't be sure for the half he lacks may be the half that you've been looking for. So, surround yourself with cookies, the company's always good; and one is sure to notice you. This must be understood. Be a good little cookie. Be as whole as you can be, for somewhere there's a wholesome cookie to make "you" and "him" a "we". (c) Mike Benstead, 1994

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 414 (view)

I know, stick to the comedy Chris! Posted: 11/29/2005 7:22:56 PM
chriscusack I just read "In shades of autumn ..." Unbelieveble... sent shivers down my spine.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 413 (view)

So ya wanna be a poet? Posted: 11/29/2005 7:19:19 PM
"Perfect freedom." I'm not asking for commitment That's nice but it's not enough for me I need you to do what you need to do I want you to be who you want to be Then if everything's right between us You may choose to do it all with me. (c) Mike Benstead

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

He wrote to me, I responded.......now nothing? Posted: 11/29/2005 7:02:23 PM
No, it's not you... and it's not just guys... it's the internet. I know how frustrating it is. It's the same on all dating (and employment) sites. There are simply too many fish in this sea and they're easy to locate and filter with internet depth sounders and nets but they're still just as slippery as ever. All the while there'll be lots of other fish nibbling at your bait and his too. Take it as a sign that there's hope for us all. When you find Mr RightFish do you think you will be focused on responding to emails from someone who's written to you twice? No, or course not, you will just politely delete them like everyone else. Meanwhile there's your profile, a snap-shot of what you felt six months ago attracting emails and taking up space on the website, about as newsworthy as a 1955 Sydney Morning Herald and you'll probably leave your profile active for a few months while you take Mr Right for a test-drive. I keep finding potential "Miss Right"s only to find she already has the next two weeks booked out with first dates for coffee and half a dozen romantic second dates scheduled too. A week later I can expect to be completely forgotten. I have a visual depicting myself in a cloud of bull dust. If I'm lucky enough not to be forgotten a week later I'd better be very careful not to get in the way of her forthcoming dinner dates, after all, I'm no Brad Pitt. Maybe a bit of an exaggeration but you get my gist. I don't look at these as dating sites anymore because they're not. Dating is romantic, squishy and enjoyable. It makes your heart race. These are contact sites. The dating comes later. After ten years of internet dating I'm no expert. If I was I probably wouldn't be here writing this. I think the secret may be to just keep in touch for npr (no particular reason) and start up a line of communication without any attachment that sets you apart from the pack and just be ready to rub your diaries together. Unfortunately it's a numbers game and the return for effort is not as they advertise on TV. I've tried having it not be a numbers game too. I would spot someone cute, study their profile, read between the lines, satisfy myself that this could be Miss Right and go for it forsaking all others... and still lose out after three dates because the required chemistry is missing, she's not over an ex or too busy with work or whatever. Although, and quite rightly so, nothing is free, if you get nothing you should pay for nothing. There's a chance of getting something here. At least this site isn't ripping us all off if we don't find what we're looking for. Virtually yours, Mike I'm writing two books at the moment "What's wrong with Internet Dating" and "How to read a woman's mind... and other impossible tasks." I'll let you know when we go to print ;)

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 64 (view)

Can you tell if a person is right in the head on the net? Posted: 11/14/2005 4:22:35 AM
Schizo I have my favourite bay, you know Where my friend and I must go Even when I drink alone I'm never really on our own. (c) Mike Benstead ... seriously, it's the purple ones you have to watch out for...

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 63 (view)

Can you tell if a person is right in the head on the net? Posted: 11/14/2005 4:19:44 AM
Here's my sanity test... In fact it's my test for all levels of reality... If it has feathers, quacks, waddles, lays eggs and is too small to be a goose then it's a duck. You don't need to pay for a DNA test. If someone comes across as not right in the head then they probably aren't. Unless you like weird people (or were actually wondering whether or not we could tell that you're not right in the head) , you might want to move on.

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 83 (view)

Guys tell me honestly what attracts you? Posted: 11/14/2005 3:44:54 AM
Just one last little thing... I know I said "be yourself" first and foremost. If you are a defeatist that's fine but if you are not, (and I don't think for a moment that your are or you wouldn't have asked your question) I'd lose two sentences on your profile "Want miss america? Don't look at me!" and "If you think a woman isn't pretty if she isn't tiny then move on. If you want to give a girl a fighting chance try me."

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 82 (view)

Guys tell me honestly what attracts you? Posted: 11/14/2005 3:29:21 AM
Gee Girly, you have really opened a can of worms, haven't you? I love it when you see women trying to answer this question LOL. Frankly, I doubt it's really worth working it out. It's your partnership. Pick a partner that meets your design or at the very least get to design it as much as your partner. Contrary to popular opinion you really shouldn't have to compromise. Every time you think you've got the male species sussed along comes a completely different one. I think Kenn159 (#12), imaqt (#46), aceman97022 (#67) and depechemode111 (#74) have all hit the nail on the head. Follow their advice, just be yourself and let guys be themselves. Your life will become a self-weeding garden with nothing to work at. Just open your mouths and ears to communicate and rub your diaries together. You might watch out for guys who want something from you that they lack in themselves. This doesn't always work. This poem I wrote a few years ago might clarify it for you. "My Cookie Philosophy" Surround yourself with cookies; but not the broken kind. Surround yourself with whole ones with a heart, a soul, a mind. Whenever you meet a cookie with bits all chipped away be warm and kind and smiling as you bid him a firm "Good day". If your friends are broken cookies crumbs are all you'll find They're sure to insult your intelligence and crumble up your mind They say "Two halves can make a whole" but with cookies you can't be sure for the half he lacks may be the half that you've been looking for. So, surround yourself with cookies, the company's always good; and one is sure to notice you. This must be understood. Be a good little cookie. Be as whole as you can be, for somewhere there's a wholesome cookie to make "you" and "him" a "we". (c) Mike Benstead, 1994 Think about what YOU WANT your whole cookie to look like and be a female mirror image of that. You will attract it. I know for myself, I'm looking for someone slim. BBWs do it for lots of guys but not for me and I know that a slim woman is less likely to be attracted to me ("what will my friends and family think?") until I get my hypocritical skin-bag down to the gym. When circumstance allows women to take the time to get to know the real me (e.g. when we have to work together) then I'm in with a greater chance but this wouldn't work in a bar. If I miss out in the "initial attraction" phase because I'm obviously 10 kilos overweight then I know it's likely to be hard work staying in a conversation ;ong enough to make an impression. A single woman thinks "Yes", "No" or "Perhaps" within a second of meeting a guy. First impressions are lasting and once a woman has made a decision it's difficult to reverse it. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heed precious_one's advice also (#44). It sounds to me like you want to try to mould yourself to what you think men want. Don't even go there. There's no such thing e.g. I can't tollerate an air-head but then I'm a sucker for a pretty face. What if the air-head had a pretty face? Which wins? I prefer blondes but then that's negotiable someone here prefers red-heads. You have to write YOUR OWN list of "Not Negotiables" as I call them and filter out the undesirables. On my list are * women I'm not attracted to * drug users * gamblers * agressive alcoholics * women who are physically or mentally unwell * women who are unavailable, e.g. emotionally or geographically * women I can't have an intelligent conversation with Once you have your personally customised extensive list then, to make a relationship work, it's a good idea to accept your partner the way they are and the way they are not, for nobody is perfect and you have already agreed that everything else is negotiable. Moving something from the negotiable list to the not-negotiable list inside a relationship may be like changing the rules half way through a tennis match and bringing out a cricket bat... It doesn't mean you can't do it but it could be curtains for the relationship. Women, in particular, often chose a partner who has one or more of these "Not-negotiable" traits, especially if they are familiar to them, so that, when they are ready, they can call on this trait to end the relationship. It's a back-door, a way of keeping at arms length, a way to avoid commitment, a bizarre way of staying safe. What girl ever said "Mum, I left John for no reason."? You are far more likely to hear "Mum, I've left John because he spent the mortgage money on the horses or came home drunk. If he was a gambler or an alcoholic when you met him and you accepted or overlooked it, then it's a bit unfair to deny all responsibility for the demise of the relationship if you are going to use that as your trump card. I suggest you re-read yardape_99's reply (#50) inside the contrext of what I have just wrote. Is there really anything not-negotiable about him that you simply can't be around? Who changed the rules after 5 years? Maybe the guy's not so bad afterall. Only you can decide that... better the devil you know, perhaps? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - blastkist (#35): You are absolutely right and it applies to men and women. There are schisters everywhere, not just on the internet and you do have to kiss a lot of toads. Sorry to hear of your disappointment. It seems you'd have more chance finding a date sitting in a cemetary surrounded by gravestones than on a dating site. I've been lucky (and selective) enough to have had some wonderful dates from the internet that have turned into long term relationships. There's hope for us all, even you. Elbows???? Virtually yours, Mike

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 47 (view)

Facial hair Posted: 11/14/2005 1:08:03 AM
... personally, you wouln't find me kissing someone with a mo ;) LOL

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 78 (view)

Why is it so hard to find Mr/Miss Right? Posted: 11/14/2005 1:01:19 AM
There are thousands of Mr Rights out there just looking for their Miss Right. At first I thought there must have been something wrong with me... coming on too strong? Too slow? too passive? Sleazy even? Too non-chalant? Over cool, not romantic enough? Too keen too soon? I looked at everything. Then I realised... Damn! I'm in Sydney, the city of options. With a population of four million people first dates from the internet are so "easy come, easy go". When got dates to open up in candid conversation I found that they have more first dates ahead to get through before they even start over the list again and get around to me. Trying to jump the queue is counter productive. It's like trying to push a door that opens inwards. Sometime one has to pull back. (I read that somewhere... very good advice). I'm sure that sooner or later one has to stop and simply say "That's enough... you'll do. Even if the grass is greener on the other side I'm tired on climbing those endless hills." In country areas don't have the same problem. They have a different problem: unless you are wiling to relocate the pool is much smaller. It's not just in dating, it's everywhere. People change jobs much more frequesntly in the city; if you invite people to a BBQ in Sydney they'll say "Yes" but it will be a "Yes" provided no better or more exciting offer comes up, and it probably will. You can usually only rely on family to be their word oin the matter and not jump at a better offer. I'm going to try something that nobody else does. I'll let you know how it goes. "NPR calls (calling someone you're keen on for "No Particular Reason" (THis one is original. You can borrow it.). I think simply staying in touch, letting them go ahead with and even talk about their unexhausted dates (which aren't going anywhere for the same reason) then just be more available than the others. It's got to be a winner! Virtually Yours. Mike

chemistryandmagic

Joined: 9/20/2004

Msg: 26 (view)

Number one possitve or negative comment about Internet Dating Posted: 6/29/2005 3:02:46 AM
Crayola, My No 1 favourite think about internet dating is actually being in a place where everybody is single and looking for someone special. If you go into a bar how can you tell without chatting up a whole lot of people who may be there for a drink with their sister, waiting for a friend, applying for a job as a barmaid or has some other reason for being there other than to find someone like me. Crayola, on the otherhand has illustrated perfectly my No 1 pety hate about internet dating. Immediately after reading her comment, "I have nothing but negatives about the internet dating scene... No one is ever serious about meeting. It's a joke!", I went to her profile and read "I'm just here to pass the time ... I am not looking to meet with anyone". Crayola, Make up your mind girl or suspend your profile. I can tell you, if you were available and I was in Canada I would definitely be serious about meeting you but right now your profile on a dating site is a waste of time and space. I really don't mean to be rude, and this is not just about you, but it's so frustrating when a guy is serious about meeting someone special and has to wade through profiles of unavailable women. ;) Hope sincerely hope your relationship florishes. He's a very luck guy. Mike.

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