For anyone that does not believe it. Create a test profile of an average woman, average guy and a handsome guy. The latter get all the female attention, while even ugly women have the ability to boost their egos getting lots of messages.

why don't you let her stay home if she doesn't want to participate in the wedding?

I've seen ton of it in women's profiles too. As if they were talking down to their audience or lecturing to us. "Don't email me if you're under 6 feet tall!" or "Don't waste my time doing.....etc, etc,etc".

As if they're making demands and their profile is far from warm and fuzzy, but I think men email them regardless of what's expressed in their profiles?

It's just that when you are firing off form emails out to people -- you're just looking at the basics -- looks + possibly categorical criteria like age, kids, smoking, etc. -- and will deal with the rest later -- whether you're picky about the other stuff or not

Yes, this man is disturbing and talks my ear off on the phone each time talking about himself. I haven't called him once.

So true. The guy has curbed the amount of daily texting, so the obvious next step is to dump him, according to the single people who require 24/7 attention. Communicating a relationship problem on POF is the preferred method instead of communicating with the partner.

I totally agree with avalidpath. It's nice to know there are real men who don't scare just because of some hair. It takes a woman 12 or more years just to grow a full whisker biscuit down there; and then all you idiot's want them too do is shave it off. What a bunch of pansy's!


So preference is tied into one's manhood now? You're a dope.

I don't get why everybody is treating this like it's some kind of bad thing to ask someone to a graduation.

Something else to consider: if I was seeing a girl who was all chummy-chummy with her ex, I'd immediately relegate her to FB status, and not bother to tell her. That way, when the novelty of sex-on-demand wore off, I'd have no compunction about pitching her; heck, I'd even be happy to let her think that it was "her" decision to end things. I know that I'm not the only guy to think this way, either. Just throwin' that out there...

the denial here--my husband's desperation not to face these kinds of truths--more than anything, is hard to bear. I need to talk to him about that, but I can't find the words. I tried, and he started going on about how lots of things can show up as cocaine, which I know isn't true (a close friend is THE staff drug tester for a hospital and we talked about it as well). I just don't want to fight about it.

We spoke last night on the phonr and he kept asking me if I'd been talking to any guys etc and I told him I was asked out on s date but turned it down. He told me he didnt want another guy to have me. Then he got all funny and hung up and has pretty much ignored me apart from sending me a message to say goodnight. What is ging through his mind right now? Do I just back off and give him space again? What does this all mean?

That's about the most grown up reply Ive heard in here, I really appreciate it. Getting on my own two feet will be hard, but I'm absolutely determined

that's hilarious. The OP is being rather superficial. Wait until he breaks up with her and he finds out how superficial a lot of women will be at his big stature of 5'5". Yes, please break up with someone that has accepted your shortcomings and good luck finding others that will be so generous. It's gonna hurt when karma bites ya in the butt. But go on with your bad self, stud. I await for the thread...do women not like short men because nobody I write is replying. Go on...I'll wait.

Or are you being ....realistic and thinking " hey, I'm not in my 20's anymore, etc so he's GOOD ENOUGH looking, his profile seems GOOD ENOUGH and hopefully his personality will make up for the imperfections enough to make a go of it with "

I have said over and over how important marriage is to me, and he likes the idea of it, but says now is not the time to ‘upset people’ (ie his children, and other family) by getting a divorce, and he keeps changing the subject.

He and his wife are both catholic, and divorce doesn’t sit well with him, although clearly his relationship with me must have gone against his values.

My friend says I will push him too hard, and that he has made a massive commitment to me by moving in with me

but this problem (for me) keeps coming up at about monthly (yes, it’s probably hormonal) intervals.

I wondered whether anyone could offer any opinions?

Yes it was inconsiderate of you. I think he was sweet to be worried about you and I think he was hurt that you did not seem to miss him at all. Being in a relationship, one should try to lessen their selfishness and begin to see and appreciate his feelings. I would be willing to bet you would have been upset if the roles were reversed, and if not, maybe you just don't care enough about this guy. JMHO

Hey Dragon....my insecurities come from my past. As a child, it was expected (demanded) that I excel in everything. I have maintained that and am a perfectionist as a result. I do not, repeat, do NOT expect my partner to be "perfect", however. Quite the contrary. You are right, maybe I should go back to my "old ways" and have a "fallback" or two. That would ease the pain some but would not be fair to the "fallback" person.

So first, take a good long and honest look at yourself. Are you really falling for her, or is there a chance she's just a really good fall back position for what you really want in a mate?

Don't say a damn thing, until you get the nervous twitches out of your system, and have actually made up your mind that it's HER you want, and not just someone like her.

Make sure you ARE willing to lose the friendship. Not because you absolutely have to, but because anything less would mean you really aren't near as serious about her as your wishful thinking has led you to believe.

http://www.npr.org/2013/03/17/174301855/female-soldiers-face-tough-switch-from-front-lines-to-homefront

Gender roles ARE changing, whether people want them to, or not - this story aired on the radio this morning - I found it very interesting how women retired combat vets tend to WANT to transition AWAY from their military lives when they get back - to embrace the feminine again, wear dresses and stuff like that.

Female vets of active combat -their reaction IS going to be different than the traditional male roles, and we really don't know what that will clearly be - because this is still very new territory.

It is not a study that suggests women go back home and cook. The problem is society has to make the adjustment that women do belong in the workforce. A long way to go, and it will eventually even out I believe, but for now there is an imbalance.

She kind of casually mentioned that she takes meds for a chemical imbalance, and that they increased her to "a really heavy dose".

It's hard to make an informed decision without all the facts being presented beforehand, after all, and I think I'd want all, or at least a goodly portion, of those types of facts up front. Especially since the person in question managed to slip them into conversation, which I'd doubt happened accidentally. There's a whole gamut of responses that would be available to such a question, so I'd want the straight facts right off the bat were it me. JMO.

And you are inadvertently blaming the victim. Girls who see themselves only in the context of male sexuality and have less pride for what is in their heads than what is between their legs are not responsible for brutal, violent acts committed by other people.

I'm never giving up my friends for any female. They've stuck by me for a long time, but if its true that females perceive me the way they do my friends, how should I go about showing that even though I hang out with these guys, I'm not like them?

It sounds like in the dating situation you are now worried that he won't like you--you're looking for his approval.

I don't know who will agree with me, if anyone, but I see this as very much a thing of THIS time: following a period of a couple of decades during which this kind of mentality subsided somewhat--or at least some people were speaking against it--we are SO living in a culture which supports the notion that women's bodies--especially young women's bodies--are there to BE accessible to men.