He said he didn't want her to be hurt, and him getting back with me would devastate her. As I said, as a condition he would have to tell her the truth this time, regardless of her feelings.

Men for the most part are often ignored. if they have "problems", they're reminded to be "real" men and suck it up.

Someone, somewhere along the way, femmed up society to the Nth degree and men are now casualties that slip through the cracks. Well, I guess they always have been casualties, but they dare not reveal themselves as such for the slight on their man card that would render them sissies.

Men have esteem issues as well. It's just that no one cares enough to launch any campaigns to counter the very real problems they face.

After all, "real" men would just suck it up, right?

A real man doesn't pay child support, he spends half his time raising that child and making whatever changes in his life to do so...at least that's what I have done.

Both sexes have input over pregnancy,

but only one has the final decision over having a baby...

Having sex with a woman because it feels good to do so does not make you a sperm donor...just a partner in recreational sex.

If you have no control over what happens regarding a potential baby...whether you want it or not...then why should you be held directly accountable for what is in fact someone else's decision???

I see all kinds of claims about how unfair it is for men, which I don't disagree with, but I've not seen much in the way of suggestions that is actually 100% fair to everyone involved, including any resultant kids.

Are you the same poster that started a similar thread about the drunk driving fitness instructor?

You paid for a few dates and it would have been fine if she was putting out? But because she wasn't it was a problem.. Hmmmm Because this all sound s too damn familiar.

Some people seem to have more control over where they take a dump then where they'll put their d!ck.

hmmm well, that was a rather unpleasant visual... oh well..

I agree that men should wear condoms and take necessary precautions.

But this issue isn't about who's fault it is that she's pregnant, it's about the fact that men lose all of their rights once she is.

That's a serious human rights violation if you asked me. Asking men to be responsible for children they did not choose to have carried to term is the same as asking the same woman to abort because he doesn't want to be involved.

I don't care if you ladies don't like it, I don't care if raising a baby alone is hard, I AM a parent and because of that I know I would choose to have that baby if I were in your shoes and wouldn't be lying in the hospital bed with my hand out looking for support for my decision to be a parent. I know that if I got a woman preganat and she carried to term that I would be totally involved...

...and right here is where the root of the problem lies. This clearly illustrates a commonly held notion that men are lesser beings in this area. Instead of asking women to carry the full burden of responsibility of the decisions that THEY ultimately make with THEIR bodies, it's tell the men to keep it in their pants.

The only thing that has survived is the sense of entitlement and it seems men are the only ones that realize they are gone.

How can you even ask for others to respect your rights and your choices as a human being, a women or a mother when you cannot even respect the rights or the choices of a man?

You don't think thats telling?

The answer to all of these is no. Absolutely not. People should take reasonable precautions to protect themselves from harm but accidents will still always happen; and to suggest that men should simply deprive themselves of a basic human need(something every single living creature on earth is subconsciously programmed to seek) as a precaution is, at the very least, absurd and apathetic and, at worst, hateful and oppressive. (Not to mention naive and unrealistic, abstinence programs have and will continue to fail time and time again throughout the entire globe)

No one is saying men should for an abortion on unwilling, that's barbaric; yet, not a lot of women here seem to have any problems forcing a life-time financial and emotional commitment on an unwilling men. (Actually, not a lot of women seem to have a problem proposing that men get a vasectomy either, which I can't help but find incredibly ludicrous considering the implications involved. Forcing an surgical procedure on women? Inconceivable atrocity! Forcing a surgical procedure on men? sure, why not!

No, you and your feminist sisters get with the program. Men are tired of being treated like second-class citizens. The backlash is just beginning.

Ok, if you want to play this game perhaps the govt should force sterilisation

It'd be so much easier if people just accepted who they are, and stopped trying so hard to be someone they're not. Destroying their bodies in the process to get there. Are there really that many brainless ones still roaming free?

After reading some of these posts, I have arrived at the conclusion it about both looks and money - one without the other and no go!

Should it not also refer to common goals/values?

Got to love American Jihad....Kind of scary knowing that a man capable of doing what he did against Americans was counseling American soldiers...Think about that for a minute these kids were already messed up psychologically and this nut job was charged with helping them all the while harboring hate for Americans for what we were doing in Iraq and Afghanistan....

because those C*unts are just materialistic women with princess syndrome ha ha ha
that's how they were raised and that's what they expect to get out of life.

It must be rough being so valuable among all us worthless people.

He can hire a caretaker if need be and go find somebody (maybe someone else with a similar disability) who will show him love. His kids are grown. Wth is the guy supposed to do? Be miserable?

Well yesterday we made a final decision that we will give her some time to deal with her depression using medicine, and that she will try to figure out what she wants in life. We will stay married and be seperated, and date other people. No sex is allowed for either of us during this time with other people.

She doesnt seem willing to give up any of the issues I have with her now though. She constantly is down at the firehouse, stays the night there, and talks to her emotional friend more then she does me. She says she wants it to work, but doesnt think it will, and also doesnt want to give up being a kid.

When a man think or says he knows a woman's body in general better than some, most, or all women know their own... well hot dam. That's seems ass backwards (pun not intended).

I am not saying that men don't know what they are talking about. If they do, they do. I just find it odd that it seems like more men think they know what they are talking about and giving advice than there are women. And they say it not like 'well in my experience, this is what has helped the women I have been with....' but they say it with the conviction of college professors who say the earth is round and 2+2 = 4.

...do you consider your history a non factor in why your wife may feel the way she does?


Very good point. I've never asked her about this. I think today I will. Thanks.

Believe me, over the last twenty years I have been no Ward Clever. I've looked elsewhere for the missing passion, found it occasionally and recently created a profile here to seek some more temporary satisfaction.

This, of course, does not solve any of the problems and has led to a few others. I do realize that my wife is my preferred choice, but sometimes when the peanut butter and jelly isn't available, the hunger remains and a ham sandwich is chosen.

I guess in this instance "friends" really isnt accurate, more like a convenient hole when the other hole isnt availble....

You mean when one hasn't found a "hole" worth putting a ring on?

I also noticed that you seem to focus on convenient "holes" and not convenient "poles"....

Or is it that men are only guilty of taking advantage of non committal sex, while women are soley "victims" of it?

Careful....your bias, is once again showing....

I havent read all 11 pages, but, i think the reason many women arent to thrilled about jumping into sex with someone too soon, is because of the simple biological fact that 70% of women dont even orgasm from sexual intercourse. There just isnt a whole lot of incentive to jump in the sack with someone. Unless, of course, their idea of good sex is getting to lie in the wet spot.

I have a feeling alot of women prefer getting to know someone and being comfortable enough with them to let them know what it is going to take for them to reach orgasm, is alot of the reason that women prefer to wait.

It is a serious question in today's world whether one Full-time parent is required. While that was the case in the 1950's and it was acceptable for a woman to be a full-time parent, a Husband can no longer support a family and Dual Incomes are the norm. Now Women are expected to work a full-time job as well. Should society or the economy somehow revert back to the 1950's mentality and encourage the Mother or Father to stay-at-home, while also raising salaries for the working parent?

If that was true, she wouldn't feel the need to 'sneak' you in to the house.

I think that perhaps things are no longer so "subtle" these days, and that sex, or the expectations of it are much more direct. "A" no longer implies "B". Wining and dining are simply...flexing..."hey, look at me!"; and the woman still has the right to say...."I see you, but I'm not impressed." I think that women were more careful in the 50's and 60's. Their attitude was: "you can't buy me, so don't even try", in 2009 it's kinda reversed with the attitude; "go ahead and throw money around; I'll let you know when I'm impressed."