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TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 75 (view)

Percy Sledge sang When a man loves a woman... Posted: 5/15/2009 9:13:40 AM
First of all, I don't think it's a bad song. It's well-known and practically a classic for a reason. It's still being played today since its release in 1966. I'm sure it's pretty popular at high school proms. And many people nowadays had their first slow dance in middle school to this song. But with that said, it was written during a older, simpler time. Love, caring, and community drove the nation. Memories from the peaceful, settled 50's were still going strong, and the energy crisis in the 70's hasn't happened yet. People still had high hopes for the American Dream, and weren't anywhere near as jaded and bitter as they are today. Basically, it was a good time for a song about true love to be written. Compare that song to songs about relationships written in the past 10 years. "Unfaithful" by Rihana "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne "Gold Digger" by Kanye West What messages do they send? People are cheating on their partners, although they still have the decency to feel guilty about it. Relationships are so complicated, they wreck a person emotionally. And gold diggers go after men for their money, only to have a man find out after 18 years that it wasn't his. While these songs are popular because they were written by a well-known artist and/or have a good melody, I'm sure some of the popularity has to do with the dark truths the lyrics contain. So while "When a Man Loves a Woman" is still being played today, I don't blame people for thinking it's out of touch with the modern-day reality. The world we live in certainly makes it feel that way.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 68 (view)

Should I let her beat me? Posted: 9/19/2008 9:04:37 PM
Generally, I don't see a good reason to let someone win. So if I'm playing pool, mini golf, or whatever on a date, I'd just play the best I can, and see what happens.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

Midnight snacks Posted: 9/19/2008 8:56:47 PM
I usually eat a small turkey sandwich with melted cheese. Then I wash it down with beer.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 153 (view)

How did you learn to cook? Posted: 9/8/2008 7:02:03 PM
I pretty much learned by watching my mom (and to a lesser extent, my dad). My family wasn't into restaurants, so I had plenty of opportunities to observe how they cook. By age 6, I could already make breakfast foods and desserts. Over time, I picked up on things, so by the time I started high school, I knew how to make a complete meal. This served me quite well, especially after I got my own place. It's fun to try a recipe from the internet or my own rendition of a family classic, although like a lot of people pointed out, it gets boring when you know you'll be pretty much the only one to eat it.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 48 (view)

Asking for a 2nd date at the END of the first date Posted: 3/6/2008 5:27:11 PM
I don't know if it's a good idea. Although it's flattering to an extent, it could also be seen as showing desperation. And we all know that's never a turn-on. It's best to end then first date with a handshake/hug/kiss/whatever, and save the asking out for when you call after the date. (Deciding when to call warrants its own forum thread, so I won't start that discussion here.) It's acceptable to casually say "we should get together again sometime", though, because in this case, you're simply throwing out an idea, not putting the person on the spot.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 48 (view)

Re: THIS SITE WORKS!! Found my boyfriend in less than two weeks!! Posted: 3/1/2008 6:15:37 PM
Congratulations! Plenty of Fish is a nice way to help people find dates. But remember: the male/female ratio on this site is 10 to 1. Although the "less than two weeks" part is nice to hear, the numbers are skewing highly in your favor. But either way, I hope it works out.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 51 (view)

1st Date Expecting Dutch without discussing beforehand Posted: 2/24/2008 3:25:15 PM
I usually stick with the belief that whoever asks should pay. And since the man usually does the asking, he pays for the date as result. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's a nice gesture, and it shows generosity. However, with the equality that we have, I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect splitting the bill. It eliminates any feelings of obligation and/or expectations that could arise. I use the following compromise between the two ways (the man paying vs. splitting the bill). I always make sure I have enough money on hand to pay for my date, and offer to do that when the check comes. However, if she insists on paying for herself, I let her; it makes me respect her more, because it shows thoughtfulness and responsibility on her part. Of course, if it becomes obvious that my generosity is being taken advantage of, there won't be a second date.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 113 (view)

Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get? Posted: 12/28/2007 11:12:51 AM
Quite the opposite. There's no way I'd be attracted to a woman who intentionally makes it difficult for me to arrange a date with her. (That's how I define "playing hard to get".) Of course, I'm willing to put effort into it, but if it look like things are going nowhere, I'll keep my self-respect and bail. While I'm aware that I might miss out on meeting someone who might be shy or very busy, I just prefer not to waste my time. After all, it's the year 2008 (in a few days), and effort should be mutual. Also, there are probably women out there that enjoy watching a man pursue them, solely for the ego boost. I think that goes against the progress we made as a society, so I don't want to be a part of it.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Talkers and Texters (cell phone usage) Posted: 12/27/2007 11:00:48 AM
When it comes to cell phones, I noticed that there seem to be a division into two camps: talkers and texters, which are people who prefer to talk on their cell phones, and people who prefer to send text messages back and forth. Some people consider being able to hear someone's voice important, so they usually call the person. Others consider texting to be fast and convenient, so they prefer to send text messages. In extreme cases, people can carry long, intelligent conversations via texting. (This seems to be more common in Europe than in the US, due to their pricing system.) Most people fall somewhere in between. At this point, I haven't seen any correlation between gender and the talker/texter preference. I'm more on the talker side. I prefer a text when a message is short and clear, or when someone is giving me directions. But to have an actual conversation, I'd rather talk on the phone; I find texting too impersonal. And it's just easier to say a phrase than to type it out on the cell phone keypad. Throughout my dating life, I've met people with both types of people, although I found it easier to get along with those who shared my preference. What do you think of this observation? How did it affect your dating life? If you want, post which camp (talker or texter) you're a part of.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 63 (view)

Make a date and then cancel it? Posted: 12/19/2007 7:05:24 PM
I've had it happen to me from time to time. Interestingly, while scheduling the date, the girl seems genuinely interested (usually, I schedule 2 to 3 days in advance). But on the day of, she sends me a short e-mail, saying she has to cancel. Sometimes, the reason is valid, but other times, an embellished brush-off. Sure, I'm aware that I can't please everybody, and I appreciate the courtesy of actually canceling, rather than simply not showing up. But why schedule a date when the girl has no intention of showing up? I was raised not to promise something I don't intend to deliver (this refers willful intentions, not life's circumstances); unfortunately, that wasn't always my experience in the dating world. So if someone doesn't intend to show up, they shouldn't schedule the date. But to end this on a positive note, my regards to the honest men and women who don't lead other people on and deliver what they promise.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 30 (view)

Friends who want more than friendship Posted: 12/14/2007 11:13:00 PM
I think there's nothing wrong with being friends with someone of the opposite sex, as long as the friendship is mutual, and both parties are aware of what's going on. In other words, when the guy isn't stuck in the "friend zone" while having feelings for the girl, and the girl isn't being used as a "friend with benefits" while having feelings for the guy. (The reverse situations can also happen, but I'd assume they're far less common.) Sometimes, romantic relationships might end because of a simple change of feelings, but friendships often last for many years, as long as no betrayal takes place. Also, the two people can give each other the other gender's perspective on complex situations. It is possible for opposite sex friendships to happen, but they require trust and honesty just like same sex friendships.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

share your favorite school cafeteria food Posted: 12/11/2007 1:40:50 PM
Looking from an adult perspective, this almost sounds like a trick question. After all, school cafeteria food is made from cheap ingredients and has very little flavor. But in retrospect, there were a few foods that I liked. In elementary school and junior high, it was pizza and chicken nuggets. In high school, it was a rib sandwich they served; it tasted similar to McRib, only less greasy. I'm not sure what they serve in school now, with all the reforms and legislations that have been taking place lately.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

What is your fantasy Christmas Eve/Christmas? Posted: 12/8/2007 9:59:03 AM
My Christmas fantasy would be eating at a Chinese restaurant, then watching a movie, preferably a comedy (Christmas-related or otherwise). If you look at the "religion" field on my profile, there's the explanation. Stereotypical, but true.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 45 (view)

children come first allways Posted: 12/4/2007 10:28:25 AM
It goes without saying that kids are very important to a parent. But if you overemphasize it in your profile by saying "my kids mean the world to me" or "my kids always come first", it will turn off quite a few men (speaking from a male point of view). Why? They might think that they'll be slighted in the relationship, that the woman won't care about them, that there'll never be time to go out together, or worse, that the woman only wants them for occasional entertainment. A less forceful phrase, such as "I love my kids a lot", would say that you still want adult company, and still show you as a caring person.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 40 (view)

Sexual content and pics with their kids????? Posted: 12/4/2007 10:01:07 AM
Profiles with sexual content and pics with kids are definitely hard to reconcile. The word "doublethink" from the book "1984" by George Orwell would probably fit this situation pretty well. Although one explanation is that the person is still in the party stage of life, but already has kids. So he/she is trying to do both things at the same time, and I'm sure it's not easy. But for safety, the least he/she should do is blur out the kids' faces in the pics (like they do for witnesses on the news).

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 44 (view)

Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing? Posted: 12/3/2007 2:53:24 PM
I think she's more interested in having a pen pal than in finding someone to date. Maybe there's lack of attraction on her part, in which case, it's an online equivalent of the infamous "let's just be friends" (excluding situations where friendships happen mutually). And as rescue51 (msg 39) pointed out, she's being rude by doing that to you, especially if she keeps agreeing to meet "sometime later" over and over. If it's been more than a month, I recommend messaging her, and honestly communicating that a pen pal is not what you're looking for. It's not easy, but it must be done, and it shows dignity on your part. Good luck.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

What the longest its taken for you to meet someone on POF? Posted: 12/3/2007 2:36:14 PM
I agree with Msg 12. It's better to meet relatively early on, so if the two people don't click in real life, neither person wasted too much time. In my experiences, it took about two weeks on average. That was enough time to develop a comfort level, but not so long as to lose interest. I'm sure it was different in the 90's, when people would chat for months before meeting. Also, I've had situations where the girl kept pushing back the meeting over and over again, making me thing she was really looking for a pen pal, not someone to date.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 88 (view)

One word or one line responses to an e-mail, what does it mean? Posted: 11/29/2007 12:39:13 PM
I have a pet peeve with one-liners, especially ones like: "hi your [sic] interesting". Yeah, I appreciate the compliment, but with a message like that, there's nothing that I can respond to or comment on. In this case, it's hard to continue communicating with the person, and it feels like she wants me to do all the talking. And as a corollary, it also makes me wonder what real-life conversations down the road will be like. Basically, even with out busy lives nowadays, anyone can afford to spend five minutes putting together a decent message. As Anazdaddy (msg 86) pointed out, one-liners pretty much indicate a lack of interest, just one step above "read deleted".

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 197 (view)

When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her. Posted: 11/23/2007 4:05:09 PM
When very attractive women don't get approached, I don't think it's so much their beauty in and of itself, as the fact that men become conditioned to avoid beautiful women. When men get rejected enough times, they start to associate beautiful women with being rejected. Over time, the conditioning takes its toll, and there you have it: the classy, friendly women who happen to look good have a problem of not getting approached.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 115 (view)

Profile pet peeves Posted: 11/23/2007 2:25:32 PM
My biggest pet peeve is the lesbian overtones in some girls' profile pictures. This would include things like: overly sexualized hugging, hands on breasts, kissing any body parts other than the cheeks (the ones on the face, that is), sticking tongues out at each other, or flat-out French kissing. There are times when it's a turn-on, and there are many opportunities to see it nowadays, but here on Plenty of Fish, it's simply annoying. Yeah, some people say it's a trend, but my pet peeve still stands.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 59 (view)

how come he won't stay friends after we break up? Posted: 11/23/2007 2:02:19 PM
While I can understand why you (the initial author of this thread) would feel upset by this, I don't blame the guy for not wanting to be friends. Most guys would have difficulty switching to the "platonic mode" once they've been in a relationship with a girl. Not that it's impossible, just difficult psychologically. (I'm not talking about people who try to create a friends with benefits arrangement after a break-up.) There would still be lingering feelings that would complicate the friendship, maybe even in that way. In my opinion, a clean, honest break-up where the two people peacefully part ways is the best option.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 396 (view)

He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya???? Posted: 11/6/2007 8:48:14 AM
This is wrong, plain and simple! Deciding whether or not to marry someone based on them losing weight is shallow and immature. She needs to find someone else, who won't use the ring as a "reward" for losing weight. Unless, of course, the woman in question is more focused on getting the ring than marrying the guy (hey, that does happen), then it's would be wrong for her to complain.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 118 (view)

How did you learn to cook? Posted: 10/29/2007 5:14:42 PM
My parents were big on cooking, and they cooked most of the family meals at home. So growing up in that environment, I picked up on things, mostly from observing my mom cook. As a result, I could make snacks and breakfast foods by the age of 6 (with some supervision, obviously). As I grew older, I learned more cooking methods, and by the time I started high school, I could make a complete meal by myself. Now, living on my own, I'm so glad I learned to cook. It's cheaper than restaurants, and I get a kick out of actually making something. Most of the stuff I usually make are my own twists or simplified versions of family classics. But on nights when the fridge is empty and my brain is fried from work, nothing can beat a good take-out meal.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 38 (view)

When people say The IM doesn't work Posted: 10/28/2007 11:05:21 AM
The reason for the messenger not working is some bugs in the source written to create the program. If you look in the title bar of an open IM window, it'll say "Userplane", which refers to a type of software. Other sites, not only PoF also use the Userplane messenger, and from my experience, it didn't work there either.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 248 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 10/28/2007 10:56:36 AM
There are two basic reasons. One is that women are attracted to tall guys. That means a tall guy will have a lot of freedom to choose which girl to date. Sometimes, the girl he chooses to date is not within his height range. The other reason is that there is a common belief that in a relationship or a "just dating" situation, the girl is supposed to be shorter than the guy. I'm sure there is an evolutionary, cultural, or biological explanation for that, but due to pressures from society, people end up doing what they're "supposed to" do.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 397 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 7/5/2007 8:29:37 PM
I've checked out some David DeAngelo materials. Nothing you have to buy, just the free newsletters he sends out. However, I found two MAJOR problems with them, which made me question the integrity of the book, as well as the integrity of DeAngelo himself. 1. He makes all women look like cold, calculating [w]itches. While I'm sure women like that are out there walking around at this very moment, but not all women are like that. There are plenty of nice, friendly women, both on this site and elsewhere. Maybe he's offering advice on dealing with the "hot and knows it" types, but reading his material (newsletters, in my case) almost makes pursuing attractive women not worth one's while. However, biological instincts take over, and well... you get the picture. 2. His testimonials are strikingly similar to the Jenny Craig/Trim Spa/LA Weight Loss type stuff. Basically, it all boils down to "I was a real dork, and never had a girlfriend, until I bought the 'Double Your Dating' book; then I became the next Hugh Hefner". In a nutshell, go instantly from dud to stud just by purchasing the damn book. It's no different that the weight loss pill manufacturers promising instant results. Learning pick-up skills takes work, just as losing weight does. There's no magic product. On a philosophical note, maybe this is, in a way, a form of backlash against the feminist movement. Just as some radical feminists make men look like worthless pigs who are meant to be used and exploited, this DeAngelo guy makes women look like manipulative [w]itches, and teaches guys how to manipulate them back. I don't agree with doing either of these things, but this is America, and the First Amendment says we can. Oh well.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 106 (view)

Best Pizza Place in Your Hometown Posted: 6/5/2007 7:58:11 PM
Lou Malnati's in Chicago is really nice. It's actually a chain, with many location in the city and suburbs, but it sure doesn't taste like it. Even spinach pizza, usually not my favorite, is really good there. Although sometimes, you have to eat it with a fork and knife, and Lou Malnati's restaurants actually provide them when you order a pizza. (They also have other things, like pasta, calzones, etc.)

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Meeting this guy off the net but I'm seriously scared!! Posted: 5/4/2007 10:23:01 PM
Make sure you take the following precautions: 1. Meet in a public place, such as a coffee shop, a busy restaurant, or a shopping mall. You can even meet at a train station, if one or both of you are taking the train; doesn't get more public than that. 2. During the first two meetings, don't spend time in isolated places, where you two will be alone. 3. Don't get into the guy's car during the first meeting, even if he's offering to give you a ride. Not that he's a bad person or anything, but it's a safety measure. 4. There could be more, but people before me probably already covered it. If you took these precautions, go ahead and meet him already. If you keep canceling the dates, he'll assume you're not interested and move on, and at that point, the "I don't feel safe" excuse/explanation will lose its credibility. Online dating is nothing like it used to be in the 90's; people on dating sites are no longer considered... well, we all know the stereotypes from back in the day.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 159 (view)

I figured out the girls on POF Posted: 4/22/2007 9:57:17 AM
The harsh reality is that the male/female ratio on this site seems to be 10 to 1. (At least that's what the number in the search results seems to show.) So women becoming highly selective in their search is simply a natural consequence, not because they're "evil" (although there are bad apples out there). If one guy is going to get chosen, nine other guys will get rejected, for purely mathematical reasons. That's the harsh reality of being a guy on PoF. But since this site is free, I still use it, although I don't rely on it as my primary way of finding dates. My advice is to get a membership on another site, where the ratio is more balanced, although you'll be hard-pressed to find a site where the ratio is exactly 1 to 1. And let's not even get into discussing sex personals sites where the ratio is more like 100 to 1.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 209 (view)

Would You Help An Ex In Need? Posted: 3/31/2007 10:56:06 AM
It's not a cut-and-dried decision, as many factors would affect my decision here. But for the most part, no. Sure, an ex is someone I cared, but the caring was in the past. To make records clear, I never wished any harm on my exes, but I prefer to a break-up to be just that: going separate ways. After all, she is an ex for a reason. However, I would refer her to appropriate sources of help: give her the number of a cab or a towing company, then call to check up on her the next day. Of course, in a life-and-death situation, I would go out and help her. With that said, people absolutely need to take some basic responsibility for themselves. So if my ex drove her car somewhere far with little gas in the tank and no money in her wallet, it's a matter of negligence, not being a victim of unfortunate circumstances. In this case, I would still tell her where she can get help, but I would leave it at that.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

Common courtesy Posted: 3/14/2007 9:42:44 AM
I agree with the courtesy of replying to all the messages you get, unless they're rude or obnoxious. A short, direct "no thanks" is always better than a read deleted message, even though they mean pretty much the same thing. But my biggest pet peeve is those one-line responses, such as "yea hi there, i like 2 party 2". Definitely make it hard to decipher the writer's intent.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 101 (view)

Fish Personalities..... Posted: 3/14/2007 9:26:27 AM
I thought about picking "dolphin", because they're smart, fun-loving, and friendly. They were also my favorite animal at Sea World when I was younger. But I don't like the way it appears smack-dab in the middle of the headline. I think inside the profile, maybe somewhere by the photos, would have been a better location.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 42 (view)

Addison IL March 23rd - Dave abd Busters fun party Posted: 3/8/2007 9:49:09 AM
It's kind of far in advance, being two weeks away and all, but I'll sign up. I've been to Dave & Busters before, and it was a fun place. As for Metra going there, there's nothing within walking distance. There is a station in Itasca, but it's 10 to 15 minutes away.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

Why Are So Many People Afraid Of Rejection? Posted: 3/7/2007 10:40:28 AM
Rejection is handled by the same parts of the brain as the ones that handle pain (hey, I made a rhyme, but whatever). Since we've been programmed to avoid pain very long time ago, back in our reptilian days, it carried over through million of years of evolution. So even though we learned to walk upright and use tools, that base instinct of avoiding pain still manifests itself through fear of rejection. Our brains see it the same way they see pain. So that's why we fear being rejected, even though logically, it's just someone telling us to buzz off, with no physical pain involved whatsoever.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Going on a date before going out of town Posted: 1/23/2007 9:41:21 PM
I would keep in touch with the person while I'm away, by e-mailing or talking on the phone at least once a week. That way, the girl will not assume I lost interest (or lose interest herself), and I can resume dating her when I get back.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 27 (view)

So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!! Posted: 1/20/2007 10:47:06 PM
SITYKITTY7, I'm guessing he decided that you didn't like him enough to meet him. You didn't mention meeting the guy in person, but it seems like you didn't meet him. Online dating sites are meant for just that: online dating. Not online pen-pals, not online chatting, but dating, which means seeing each other in person. So when he was talking to you for a month, he was hoping you two could arrange a meeting, even something like a simple coffee date. When he realized that you weren't willing to meet him, he moved on to someone who was. So while I don't agree with his disappearing act, I don't blame him either.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 18 (view)

Should Ladies Night at the bars be illegal? Posted: 1/6/2007 7:56:55 PM
I have a comment about ladies' nights. I'm guessing their purpose is to get more women into bars, using free drinks and/or free admission as a gimmick. As a result, more women do end up coming. However, I've had an easier time finding girls to dance with on a regular night than on a ladies' night. On most ladies' nights when I came to a club, I see more girls dancing with other girls than with guys. Kind of kills the purpose of the whole thing (from guys' point of view), doesn't it?

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 332 (view)

Does ignoring a guy really get his attention? Posted: 1/6/2007 12:10:13 PM
Not for me. To me, ignoring equals lack of attraction, plain and simple. And I don't view the whole thing as a chase; I see it as more of a gamble. Sure it's fun to take a risk once in a while, but if the odds are stacked against you, the smart thing to do is pass on it. The profile could be the Helen of Troy, but if getting a reply from her takes more effort than what I think is worth, then no thanks. If I write or call someone, it means I'm intersted in getting to know them and spending time time them. If she ignores me, I'll try two or three times (giving the benefit of doubt; the ignoring could have been inadvertent), then move on to someone who respects me enough not to play the ignoring game (also goes by the name "hard to get"). There is a fine line between being persistant and jumping through hoops like a circus lion. And I know which side I want to be on.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Online Dating in the 90's Posted: 1/4/2007 12:38:59 PM
Just for the records, this is mainly a "for fun" thread, to reminisce about what online dating was like when it first started, kind of like a trip down the memory lane. I'm sure everyone here remembers those days, either fondly or cringingly. I was in high school at the time, so I couldn't really get into online dating very much, but I did use the internet quite a bit, so there are things I can comment on. Here just some of the stuff I remember from back in the day. -> Match.com and Yahoo Personals, among many others, were free. -> People took much longer to meet in person than they do now. -> At one point, escorts starting using dating sites to advertise their services (sites like AFF exist for that now). -> New dating sites, the names of which no one even remembers anymore, kept popping up every day -> Using a dating site was highly looked down upon; anyone who did was considered desperate or a freak. -> If someone had a profile on such a site, they make sure no one they know ever found out about it. If anyone on PoF has stuff they would like to add, feel free to post it here. Let's get a long list going, for people to read, reminisce, and laugh.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 91 (view)

telephone numbers reverse look up question Posted: 1/4/2007 12:19:02 PM
In this day and age, number lookups are a fact of life. I don't blame the guy from doing a reverse lookup on the number you gave him (maybe he was checking to see if it was real or not) but it was a dumb move on his part to actually tell you he was doing the lookup. It definitely makes him look obsessive or desperate.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 131 (view)

Women and sleezy photos Vs finding a gentleman Posted: 12/28/2006 10:01:22 PM
I always viewed the combination of sleazy photos and "looking for a nice guy" statements as something to be accepted as a part of online dating. Sure, it's contradictory, but somehow, they can fit together, if you simply accept it without questioning it. George Orwell's book "1984" uses the perfect term for this kind of thing: doublethink.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 37 (view)

Approaching Women that don't Much English. Posted: 12/26/2006 11:42:50 AM
It should not be too difficult. Human communication is 60% to 80% non-verbal. I once traveled to a foreign country where I didn't speak the language, other than the basics such as "hello", "good bye", "please", and "thank you". I was amazed how much I could communicate using only hand gestures, body language, and facial expressions, along with the few phrases I knew. Most people will be tolerant of those who make a sincere effort to communicate. By the way, the most useful phrase in the local language I knew was "do you speak English?" At least half the people I encountered spoke it.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 74 (view)

How far would you travel to meet someone online? Posted: 12/23/2006 6:42:14 PM
I would travel for 1 hour; that seems like a reasonable time, given the area I live in. I'm looking for someone close to my area, and in my opinion, that's the farthest two people can live apart and still be considered "local". In addition, I would also research the area I'm going to, for things like landmarks, crime rate, and nearby highways. In general, an hour is the longest I've ever driven to meet someone, and I've had girls drive for an hour to meet me. Typically, however, the driving times for me ranged from 20 to 45 minutes.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 54 (view)

One word or one line responses to an e-mail, what does it mean? Posted: 12/23/2006 3:18:36 PM
In my opinion, one-line responses to initial messages typically mean that the person you're contacting is not serious about meeting new people. It's even more true when he/she uses abbreviations, such as "u" instead of "you", in those responses. From a practical standpoint, if someone writes "hey, thanks for writing" and stops there, it doesn't give you ways to keep the conversation going, such as by elaborating on something that person said in the reply. Unless the one-line response shows a hint of interest, it's just a step above seeing "read deleted".

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Free Hugs Posted: 12/10/2006 6:12:47 PM
Msg 6 (AcesDJD), this reminds me. There is a video on YouTube that shows a Free Hugs campaign in Israel. Just search under "free hugs israel" on the site; the results show campaigns in different Israeli cities. In the clips,people hold up "Free Hugs" signs in Hebrew and English.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 59 (view)

How much Time Before You Meet Posted: 9/27/2006 6:03:22 PM
I think anywhere between one week and two weeks is good. It would usually consist of a couple of messages sent back and forth, a few days of talking on AIM or Yahoo, and then a few phone conversations. This would give you enough time to see how a person expresses him- or herself in different communication methods, to see if they're honest or now. In my opinion, less than a week is simply now enough time to get to know a person, at least not enough to agree to a meeting. More than two weeks is simply annoying. Either one or both people aren't serious about meeting someone new, or there is simply no attraction. In all occasions where I've met someone off the internet, I met them within two weeks of sending or getting the first message. Obviously, we met in a public place during daylight hours, but my point is that it's not necessary to spend a long time talking to a person online before meeting them.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 30 (view)

Is It Okay to Post One's Profile on More Sites Than POF? Posted: 9/24/2006 8:45:40 PM
Of course. Why is was this question even raised? While dating is about getting to know people, looking for a date is mainly a numbers game. The more people see your profile on different sites (assuming your profile is geniune on every site), the more exposure you get, so you have better odds of meeting someone you like. Using only one site to look for a date is like shopping for a car at only one dealership. Just make sure you check for new messages on all sites where you're signed up, so you don't inadvertantly ignore a message from a potential date. And it also might be a good idea to have slightly different wording in the profile on each site.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 51 (view)

She has a close friend of the opposite sex. Posted: 9/16/2006 2:57:24 PM
A platonic friendship (without benefits) is just that. So there's no reason to be jealous or worry. If that guy and the girl you're seeing are just friends, it means she feels no attraction toward him in the romantic sense. Since attraction is everything, you're safe. Sure, she enjoys his company, which why they're friends in the first place, but you have no reason to worry. I have a female platonic friend myself, so I'm not just making theoretical statements.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 80 (view)

What makes a guy not want to see you again Posted: 9/16/2006 2:57:17 PM
No one is obligated to do anything. Sure, you've shared some affection, with the hugging and kissing. I'm sure you both enjoyed it, but there's no rule that there has to be something developing from it. You're not obligated to give him sex, and he's not obligated to having a relationship with you (or vice versa, for that matter). If it didn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. Accept it, and leave it at that. People have a reason for everything they do; yours and his just didn't mesh in this case.

TrackMan391

Joined: 9/22/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Serial Dating Posted: 9/9/2006 10:51:53 AM
I think people are forgetting the real purpose of dating. It's not about getting into a relationship as fast as you can; you don't have to "go on dates just so you can stop going on dates". Dating is about meeting and getting to know new people to see if you get along with them or not. Even if you spend just one evening with an interesting person, whether or not it works out, you already win. As human beings, social interaction is part of who we are. So just enjoy the company of a good person, and don't worry about forcing a relationship. There's no rule that says you must get serious or exclusive by a certain time. Don't bring the attitiudes of the business world into your dating life.

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