Im not sure what to think about this chat & forums.

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debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Im not sure what to think about this Posted: 8/9/2007 2:34:09 AM
First of all, you wouldn't be obsessing about a quick peck on the lips if you didn't still want him. You would just blow it off and not mention it at all. If you can, let go of him and treat him like only a friend (never to be a lover again because you can't trust him). But if you still want him so much, you're going to have to find out if you can trust him (I think not). You have to look him right in the eyes & ask him if he's married or still seeing another woman. DO NOT ask over the phone. Be strong and stand up to him. Make him look you in the eyes while you ask him. If he hesitates or if he looks away, even for a second, then you know he's lying. Then you have the honor of telling him it's over and to never call you again. Or do you hang onto him for what he can do for you and your dogs, while humiliating yourself by being USED by this player?

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T! Posted: 6/18/2007 3:47:45 PM
This is too soon to jump to conclusions. You may hear from him later tonight, tomorrow or in a couple of days. You never know - he could have been sicker than he thought, or maybe there's someone else, or he just changed his mind. Could be like someone said - a player. But wait and see what happens. Don't try to call him anymore. He has your number. Make him come back to you and apologize. Something like this happened to me many years ago. I even want to the place where we were supposed to meet, but he wasn't there. I never heard from him again and always wondered, but figured a guy who would just drop communication was not worth it. Also, I have to wonder why hte friend was lying about him being a Dr. Maybe that' s part of their game.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/17/2007 9:01:07 AM
There are a Lot hotter men from this state than that boy from Uvalde!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

What is Baggage? Posted: 6/17/2007 8:50:08 AM
Nobody ever really lets the past go. And why should they, even if they could? The past gives us the knowledge today to help us deal with what comes along tomorrow. And Never say a person's past does not matter --it matters a Lot. Our past is what makes us who we are today, and predicts our behavior in the future. Pay really good attention to a person's past.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

What is Baggage? Posted: 6/17/2007 7:49:15 AM
I bet the answer to this is different for each person. I hate expressions like this, and this is why I ask about them, hoping people will realize it's better to be more direct nand say what you mean instead of using such a worn out, trite experssion like this! First of all, Baggage is another one of those Negative expressions that insinuates a person has things in thier life dragging them down, and will also burden the person they get involved with. The first thing I think of is Kids & Grandkids who are still acting like leaches, hanging on like blood suckers and taking up too much time, emotional energy and finances. It can also be other family members, such as parents and even exes, or it might be outstanding Bills and creditors knocking at the door. Some men run from this, while others see it as an opportunity to offer "help", but at a price to her (sex & control of her). And what about other problems like Health Problems, Disability...are these baggage? Certainly drinking, drugs and legal problems are baggage. I've talked to a lot of men from personal sites who say they keep running into a lot of women with major financial problems, kids creating havoc in thier life, and exes still coming back into the scene. These area the main things that turn the men away. Some men hold it against a woman because she has been taken advantage of or even abused by men, so is now cautious about trusting another man. Don't you call this baggage sometimes? Why? A woman has a right to protect herself, and she should not believe you just because you say ..."not all men are like that. I'm not"..., expecting her to just trust you without even knowing you? How many times have we heard this only to find out he was lying and ended up treating us badly, was trying to scam us, and has one of the worst sets of baggage around - a desire to use other people and take out his problems on them??? Trust has to be built. You have to earn it, and if you really care about a woman you would be protecting her rahter than trying to hurt her..

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Why does friends mean friends with benefits to men? Posted: 6/16/2007 12:01:04 AM
"For me i took a sebaticle off men..." You did what? ...picked the Whats off his What?" I hope you had some Raid with you. (LOL) Seriously, I came back tonight and ran through the posts and came to a conclusion based on what was in them: The men are in essence saying this website is like a sleazy bar, and because we ladies are Here, we want sex (like them) and are looking to be "picked up". No matter how many times we say we ARE NOT thinking like that, they insist we are! They can only think one way - thiers, and have no empathy to see a woman's point of view. So like I said before in so many words: They are not very bright, cannot understand or learn, and have a one-track mind. This is why most of them I don't even answer because you get to where you can tell what they're after, especially the ones who want to jump right into 'That' instead of offering some semblance of "dating" first.. I met a guy on here and it happened to be my birthday. I was lonely with no date on my (saturday) birthday night, so I agreed to meet him at a local cafe. While we were eating he took out his bottle of Viagra and set it on the table in front of me, as if to say "here's your birthday present!". If I hadn't been so appalled I would have laughed so hard and spit my barbeque across the room. I hope he liked they way I ate my sausage, because that's the closest he was ever going to get!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/15/2007 11:25:04 PM
You've got it right!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 169 (view)

No sex before marriage Posted: 6/15/2007 11:12:10 AM
Right! Except that guy watching the porn had hidden that from his wife while they were dating, as most men do. Most men hide a lot, because they Know it's wrong, then we find out all the weird, perv things after it's too late. A married man who thinks he has to look at that crap is wanting to cheat, and should not have married at all.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 168 (view)

No sex before marriage Posted: 6/15/2007 10:56:50 AM
Sure, this country, which was founded on Judeo-Chirstian beliefs, gives us the right to choose. Some choose right, but too many choose wrong, and thats why this country is turning to crap.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/15/2007 9:58:29 AM
Brad: You seem to be one of the few decent guys on POF and the only one who posted here. A few Mamas still raise their sons to be gentlemen! Yep, that kind of man is exactly what I'm talking about, but unfortunately I (and other decent women) meet them one after another to the point we're ready to give up. Many of them start talking about sex in emails or IM's, I guess hoping we'll talk back and be just as low as they are. Or maybe it's the first phone call or first meeting in person. Either way, I just stop talking to them as soon as anythng about sex comes up. Sometimes I let them know why, but other times don't because I know it's likely they'll react like the other guys who posted here - fuming with anger because they were busted and didn't get what they wanted to Take.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/15/2007 9:13:21 AM
For the illiterate: If you'd read that comment you quoted again, I was not talking abut myself, but "some women..." In fact, the expample with the kids and dogs was my Mother. She married young, most likely a virgin, to a man who could "Support" her - not for love. Many of our Mothers and Grandmothers did this, but in my opinion it is just another form of prostitution. I mean, do you men want a woman who just needed someone to "keep" her, or a woman who really loves you? So there was not love in that so-called marriage, causing misery all around. She was just waiting for him to die and her get all of what he's worked so hard for while she laid arouund watching soaps. She hated sex, therefor the tactics to avoid it. But once a week when whe needed some money to spend on herself, she'd force herself and he'd give her some cash. Legal Prostitution - not a marriage. I got out as soon as I could and vowed to be Nothing like her. I entered the military, educated myself and I have supported myself totally, even when I was married. I always worked as long as I could, and still have my own income, house and everything paid for (all by myself), and was smart enough to learn birth control and not have kids. So that makes me a very good catch for a man who is not intimidated by a smart woman. Or would you rather have those women with their hands out because they have bill collectors knocking, a drug habit and criminal kids/grandkids needing bailed out of jail? Does she make you feel Needed? The word is Used, son!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/15/2007 8:52:15 AM
Not very good with words, are you? It isn't bitterness at all, but experience. And no, I was not dumped. I usually do the backing off because i've learned to look for clues and listen very well to catch the liars. I don't like confrontations, so when things get uncomfortable for me,I'm out. I guess the closest thing to being dumped on here is a couple of days ago when I guy was writing to me (on here) and I discovered that although he'd written the trite statemet of "don't like games", he was playing one on me. Luckily I got the name and email address of another woman he was playing at the same time, and asked him if he'd seen her lately(by name and city). He was busted, yet he acted like I'D done something wrong...? Duh! Men just cant stand a smart woman.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/15/2007 8:43:55 AM
Right! First the "nobody would want us" comments" and "we can't get any" and now we're whores. I think he spelled it wrong - to thes kinds of men we're Holes. This is how dumb and inconsistent these guys are. And the question about if it's men propositioning me or that I'm dating....Dumb! Neither of these extremes...it's just Men in general, men I meet on here or anywhere. Men I decide NOT to date, honey becaue of their being so Nasty about sex. And no, it doesn't need to be "sewn up". I enjoy sex with a decent man who treats me right,shows he at least cares for me as a person - not just a "hole" for his use.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to score? Posted: 6/14/2007 10:27:37 PM
In my experience, the older men are worse at just coming right out about what they want. It's like they don't have much time left so are really desperate, like they're going to die in the next few minutes if they don't get some Now. This desperate attitude is really what turns me off. I mean they act like a drug addict needing a fix and will do just about anything to get it, but they usually can't handle it in the first place! (LOL) They have pills, gadgets, magazines, movies, and expect you to perform all kinds of "actions" on them (until you are almost dead). When none of this works, they have you there to blame it all on, cause you didn't "do it right", and thinking "if I can just find the "right woman" it'll work like when I was 18..." BS! First of all, no woman who looks like the ones in the magazine you're"using" wants to be with you, and Second: That Thing is dead! Mr.Oreck's best will not help you. Give it a funeral and give up!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 165 (view)

No sex before marriage Posted: 6/14/2007 10:07:41 PM
The reason for waiting goes way back to the early days when men were animals....wait!..they still are! So a girl is considered smart to make him wait because once a man gets "it" he runs looking for the next kill. So make him wait until after he's committed, then it isn't so easy for him to run, especially if you also happen to get pregnant. See??? The problem with this theory is: How many men will wait until after marriage? How many even want to get married in the first place, much less have kids? So either way a girl goes, she is bound to be very disappointed most of the time. BTW: Many women who do wait and find out sex with the husband is not fun at all, will see movies or hear other women talking about how "good" it is, and become curious, eventually leading them to cheat and/or get divorced so they can hopefully have "normal" sex and love instead of some guy always doing It , and probably everything else, His way. The few women who do stay, do so out of obligation to him and the kids, but hate having him touch them, so move into another bedroom with the kids, later grandkids, and even later dogs in the bed with her - works better than any chastity belt!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

At what age does a man finally wake up and stop trying to "score"? Posted: 6/14/2007 9:48:55 PM
Do any of them finally realize it's time to give up? I mean who wants some lame d---ed, crusty old geezer on top of them anyhow? It's disgusting, and if they want a lady's companionship,they should stop with the sex talk. Otherwise they'll keep driving us awway!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Why do men ask about you past and then get angry Posted: 6/13/2007 4:51:06 PM
Women DO have sypmptoms and the health problems, men carry it with no symptoms and carry it form woman to woman! Yuck! I kn ow becaesu it happened,but catch on to what's going on fast enough, kick him to the curb and get treatment and you're fine!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 98 (view)

Why do men ask about you past and then get angry Posted: 6/13/2007 4:48:16 PM
YOu are SO right! Listen up boys and girl, to my nearly 60 yrs of experience and still going.... An adult person is not going to change much. I'm a licensed therapist, degrees in Paychology, so I know this is the truth, due to personal and other's experience. The past of a person does predict the future. Jut likemost thieves remain thieves, and most liars remain liars, maybe only getting better at it as they age. A man (or woman) seems to repeat the same mistakes over and over in relationships. IF you find a man who is controlling with you, he probably was with his exes as well. He's just trying out a new victim, hoping you'll put up with it instead of leave like they did. Here's how I handle it: I've learned to ask leading questions, not direct ones. I listen and let him rave on, brag about himself, exaggerate, whatever. Expect him to be lying on at least some of it. But Take Notes. I mean really write things down (when he's not looking) and compare storeis later. Sooner or later a liar screws up. Keep taking those notes & you'll begin to see the truth come out. If it gets really bad, I've contacted ex wives and girlfriends and confirmed he was an ass with them, too. I was engaged to a guy, planning the marriage for a couple of mo. away, and when he asked me to check on his house and pick up the mail while he was out of town, I saw an envelope come with a woman's name on it (not his ex I knew about but another one) using his last name. I started checking up and found out she had lived with him there, but now in another city 80 mi. away where he suppposedly had a rent house he worked on a couple of days a week. More checking in that city's records and it turns out she's living in that other house and they're married!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 7:05:47 PM
Of course SOME of their husbands died. Duh! Most women are single because they are divorced. And if they look like Gramma, the men probably left them for a newer model, or to have chance to look for one.. And this is a fact: Most men, if they could do it over again, did not want a bunch of kids! And many women, although they feel guilty to admit it, regret having them too. Most will admit though that the marriage went downhill AFTER having kids. Think about that.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 93 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 6:59:08 PM
I have seen girls in their 20's with very old -looking faces, very dry and wrinkled. It'susually from drugs (like coke), drinking and smoking , or an illness like hepatitis. But they're slim, allright!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 91 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 4:37:53 PM
Notice OP put up no photo and suggested the older women need to gain a little weight ???---a case of jealousy, clear cut. It hurts her a lot to know older women can look better than her, but instead of being jealous she should take action on herself The nice body and clothes on that woman were at least some good points. The face, maybe she couldn't help, or her husband wouldnt let her get the surgery(men are SO like that!), or she's saving up for it herself! A liekly scenario is htat she either smoked and/or was in the sun to much (or had another health problem). You never know, so don't judge.. What if you had cancer or hepatitis, and people talked about how ugly you look in the grocery store?

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 4:26:40 PM
??? That's a nonsense reply. I had to go to the profile to see if it's a man or a woman!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 3:32:12 PM
I've heard a lot of men make a statement (which I have mixed feelings about), that they don't care what the face looks like as long as a woman has a good body. To me this is more evidence of what animals they are, and I found it offensive, but at least they were being honest.. (No, don't assume they were saying it about me, please! It was about Women in General, of all ages.)

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 88 (view)

Granny-Barbies!! Yuck or Yum!! Posted: 6/12/2007 3:27:38 PM
I think they should take care of Both! I was about to post a message similar to this, but see you already have. But what I was going to ask is: "Why Do Women Over 40 Want To Look Like Gramma?" What I mean is chop off their hair short, let it go grey, maybe even get the poodle perm, start wearing dull, baggy clothes and ugly shoes, and act/think/talk like Grammas. OK, I'm almost 60 and do have some health problems causing me to have to dress more comfortably and wear more comfortable shoes, but I have sought out what will still be feminine and at least cute. (I have a date Tomorrow and am trying to figure out which dress to wear!) The excuse for the butched-off poodled hair is usually "It's easier ". That' s another term for "I'm lazy". I have always found longer hair to be easier. I wash, air dry, and can pull it up into many different cool and comfortable styles (braid, bun, french twist, ponytail, etc.), which is so much more feminine than the Butch Chop. And if I put it up the right way, when I let it down it has waves and looks nice to the men. Did you know hair at least neck length distracts the eyes away from those double chins and goose neck rolls? Or are you proud of those waddles ? Another thing they do: Wear no makeup, or when they do it's overdone. The natural look works, no matter what your age. Anything else makes you look Worse! By natural I mean enhance your good points and maybe cover or take away from the bad points. Think: cover what age added and add what it took away (usually color). Cover those undereye circles (or stop keeping those grandkids so much and get some sleep!).Cover the age spots, and at least finish with some powder to blend it all in, and a slight brush over the cheeks with blush.. Then please use a flattering shade of lipstick (not 1924 Max Factor Streetwalker Red!) , and at least some clear or natural shade of nail polish. Fill in the eyebrows (again natural , in a shade close to your hair color (I hope not white!!). If your hair is truly white, or almost, dye it a color a little lighter than what it used to be naturally. I know a woman who is in her 80's, still a nice figure, dresses nice enough on a budget. The white hair is sort of attractive on some women, and she can carry it off because it's styled nicely and not too short, but the painted-on black eyebrows! I gave her a taupe pencil as a hint, but she gave it away! And another thing: clear up that old-lady gravel voice. Are you yelling at those kids too much? Smoking, nipping at the bottle behind the kitchen counter? My cousin is a Gramma with a capital G. She sits at home in her rocking chair, smoking her cigs (which will kill her eventually), and dotes on her grandkids so much that she is going to leave everything to them! (I bet that pisses off her son and daughter!). My Mother was one of those, too, but without the cigs. Still insane, though. Not Me! Yes, a lot of them are actual Grammas, but why Act like one? Why develop that insane condition where suddenly life revolves around your grandkids? Last week on the news I heard a story on TV a few days ago about something happening like..... "A 60 year old grandmother was assaulted and robbed in the northeast side..." What??? Is she not a woman first? I guess not. Too many women define themselves as Mrs. Wife, Mother, Grandmother. Do you not have some meaning in life without tacking that on? Did you serve no other purpose in this world other than submit to a man and/or to breed like a cow? If you're reading this, it means your husband is gone (or should be for you to be on this site) . I bet he didn't want all those damned kids running though the house anyhow, but you insisted. Did he cheat on you? No wonder. OK, so you love the little brats, but don't ruin thier lives spoiling them, and don't lose your life obsessing over them. You can't make up for whatever you think you didn't do for your kids. Too late - those are their kids now - Not Yours. And don't make us men and women want to puke over having to hear about them every time you talk. Get a Life! Never a Gramma; Always a Woman.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/11/2007 2:35:42 PM
Thank You. Finally a post that makes (some) sense. That's exactly what I mean - A Real Woman who earns her own money and uses her own money instead of leeching off a man! A woman who does anything less is a whore. A woman who dates (or worse marries) a man because he will "support her" is nothing but a no good Whore with a Captial W. Sorry, but this includes a lot of our lazy kniving Mothers and Grandmothers here, including mine! Well, I've had enough of these ignorant children on here. Going to seek an area with grownups who have some education and an IQ over 20. Maybe the computer tech area. I Love Nerds! Outa' here..... so if you want to go on with your nonsense ravings and attempts to insult each other, then Rave on!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 60 (view)

How would you define a MAN in todays world????? Posted: 6/11/2007 2:23:54 PM
I actually met and went out with Mick Jagger (age 19) when you were in Nam. I bet I had more fun!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

UWWWWWWWW GOOD QUESTION Posted: 6/11/2007 2:20:34 PM
AMEN, Brother! Any more like you at home?

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/11/2007 2:12:49 PM
Please, only Adults respond! And take a shower and get a haircut so we will know if you're male or female!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/11/2007 2:08:47 PM
Jealous that he can't find a real woman.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/11/2007 1:04:51 PM
OMG! I Live (well) on $900 a month and put the rest in savings!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/11/2007 12:42:26 PM
I didnt trash anyone (yet) - you trashed yourself by posting such ignorance. I Will trash you some at the end of this message, after I box your ears and try to get some sense into your head. When are you going to learn to read, process and remember the words that just scrolled past you????? I posted this question because I wanted to see what men answered, not that I didn't know what it means (to me). I'm a psychologist and therapist - I like to see what people are thinking. Since I am not like the awful spoiled "girls" you little boys here are describing in your definitions, then Yes, that does make me better. If you're dumb enough to go for a girl just because she "looks good", you deserve the hell she brings into your life. I'm a real woman, not the spoiled girls you obviously are dating. I already stated I am 59 yrs old ,and all of my life have had to work for everything I own. I was never given anything, even when I was maried. I decided if being with a man didn't make my life any better, and I still had to pay my own bills, why not have the freedom of being single? So I am, and loving it. Thinking I dont "get any"? Well, I do when I want to, and it's so much better not Having to because it's demanded or expected. I went into the military to get some of the best training in the world and a chance to go to college when I got out. Did you serve your country? Probably not, coward wimp! I lived in an $85.mo garage apartment with no a.c., and walked to school the first two years while working, too.. I maintained a 3.8 GPA and eventually earned 4 degrees and two professional licensses. Taught adult education at TX A&M for a while, then went into curriculum development for the US Army and was awarded the civilian outstanding performance medal. (getting medical personnel ready for Desert Storm was one accomplishment). Then I went back (in my mid-40's) and got another MA in Psychology and Counseling. Currently I'm writing a book about my life, which is a story you would not believe. But you still think You are better than Me???? And think those skanks you date, who waste so much money on themeslves, are better than ME??? NOT ! Instead of wasting on beauty treatments I can do myself, and that new outfit every two weeks (OMG, I can't believe one of you guys condoned that!), I invested and have more than you can imagine in my retirement account. Yet I also have tons of clothes, because I kept myself the same size for several decades and didn't just throw things out because I was "tired of them". Now I have some Real retro stuff from the '70's and 80's, and a fur jacket from the '60s. I don't waste time , money or my health on smoking or drinking. I bet plenty of you do those stupid activities. House and Car paid off. All By Myself! Nothing from any man. Now That's Taking Care of Myself! I can get up and look in the mirror every morning and know I am not a whore who has used men to pay her way. Wake up guys - this kind of girl you're describing is exactly that - a whore. Don't help them out. Let them sit on the curb and go hungry until they wake up and get a life. I have Never paid for a manicure or pedicure. I do my nails at least once a week myself ,and currently wear them in a subdued (natural look) french manicure. Yes, I taught myself to do it. Those girls you're talking about who Need the beauty shop are just Lazy. I have probably been in a beauty shop for a haircut about a dozen times in my life. I did some modeling while in college, and cut and styled my own hair. I will continue to do my own grooming as long as I can. I get compliments all the time on my hair and makeup. Other women, and most of the men I've dated end up wanting me to cut their hair. I'm very careful to make my look natural, but it is not the really "expensive" stuff. So if Imeet a guy and he gets scared because I look "too good", and is afraid I'm used to a man giving me money to buy this and get that done at the "shop", it's his loss. He's just lost a chance with a Good Catch. I'm not done up at all in my photos, which are very recent shots of me just in the yard washing my dog, or on the computer. I never had a personal trainer at the gym, but just talked to the guys and learned as I went. There's always guys dying to show you some tips and "spot" you. I had other women come up to me and ask me questions, thinking I was an employee. When the employees were busy or short, I did show new members around and how to use equipment. I was asked to represent them in a body-building contest, but I said "I'm not a body builder". They still insisted I was good enough to represent my class. I decided against it with all the time and expense it would take. And when they decided to do a poster with different aged people on it, they asked me to represent the middle-aged. You should have seen the couple in thier early 80's who were also asked. She looked damn good in the locker room - naked! So if you think YOU are better than a 59 yr old ,very educated disabled Veteran who has problems just sitting here and typing because of daily pain, look me up and I will kick your damned ass, and Your Mother's too,for raising such a rude, thoughtless, stupid son. YES, I am better because I've used the sense God gave me and not wasted all my time and money on buying "Stuff" and partying, doing drugs, etc. That's ignorant High Maintenance for you. Some day you'll wish you'd listened to me and saved up for the hard times when you get old. OR do you just plan to die young from all the alcohol and drugs that obviously have already burned out most of you dumbass brain?

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 11:49:19 PM
Why wouldl you call her high maintenance if she worked and saved up for her surgery and it had nothing to do with you? Would you be jealous that she could have surgery? Afraid she might look so good she could get someone better than you?

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 11:40:10 PM
I'll tell you what "taking care of myself "means to me at almost 60 and with all my experience with men: First of all it means having a secure, safe place to live where I can come home not feeling afraid I'll be jumped on, criticized, expected to wash the laundry, mow the yard and cook his dinner while he naps on the sofa because he's tired and doesn't give a s--t I also worked all day. Taking care of myself is learning to use birth control wehn I was young and not having any kids, and not having to put up with his kids or any damned grandkids running through the house and making me nuts. Taking care of myself is sleeping with Big Dog and Smith & Wesson next to me. Taking care of myself is being able to go to the store and buy what I want with nobody complaining what it cost. That includes the Brie and fruit I had just last night by myself. Or the vitamins and supplements, or essential oils I've found to be good for my skin that I order on the net because I know they are helping my health. A man would complain about that "maintenance", so there is no man here. Taking care of myself is being able to get on the net at 4 am if I want to to look up something . Or being able to stretch out in the bed and sleep late with nobody in my way or making gross noises, or expecting me to get up and make breakfast until I'm ready. Taking care of myself is being able to keep the refrigerator stocked with food, Not Beer, and No Annoying Sports on the TV, and the thermostat where I'm comfortable at all times. No sweating allowed inside the house! And don't forget ....nobody to force himself on me when my eyes aren't even open and his breath smells like a dumpster full of dog crap. And nobody to get pissed and throw things at me when I say No because he's so disgusting, yet he acts like it's my fault. Taking care of myself is not having to fear what kind of disease he'll give me because he's unfaithful. Taking care of myself is not having to worry about what stupid, dangerous or wasteful thing he'll do next, and either maim or kill himself ,or cause us to go bankrupt. Taking care of myself is saving some every month for my later years when S.S. won't be but a drop in the bucket, and no longer having to worry that he'll pull it out of the bank and waste it on unnecessary crap like a boat or motorcycle, or plane he doesn't need, or a trip to "see his daughter" but he's really seeing his ex wife (because the daughter tells me all about it and emails photos). Taking care of myself is having a spiritual life, reading the Bible, praying and all that stuff he thinks is "dumb" because he's a heathen and will burn in hell .

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 11:15:44 PM
Exacxtly! If a woman looks too good, men seem to assume she's spoiled and used to being pampered without even getting to know her. They don't know that she worked hard for everything she has, that her parents gave her nothing and she joined the military just to be abole to afford college. She does her own hair, nails, shops for bargains, buys good fake jewelry, works out 3X/wk for 3 hrs ea. just trying to keep up with what the men expect her to look like. They don't speak to her when she looks bad, but when she looks great, they think she's too good for them and still dont speak to her!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 11:04:26 PM
Well written and good info, but I'm beginning to think men have different ideas of what this term "high maintenance" means. I think they heard it somewhere, like in a movie, and now just say it, putting a different meaning to it depending on the woman they are thinking of. What you described sounds extreme to me. I would not want to even be near a woman like her. So I think this kind of woman is rare, not the norm as most men seem to think we are all "high maintenance". It's all relative, I think. If a guy is a bum and uses coupons 2 for 1 to take you to burger king, but he's a VP at a well-known national company (this actually happened to me). Then he thinks you're high maintenance when you'd rather not keep seeing him. He assumes you want a rich guy who showers you with luxuries. Well, some guys who make a lot of $ are more stingy than the guy who's a maintenance man. Turned out he was pinching pennies to save for some fancy foreign car, so he was a very self-centered person, anyhow. I was married to a rich man, but Id rather be with a mechanic who makes enough for us to live on but would treat me well instead of abusing me like the crazy rich guy did.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:54:21 PM
I Honestylcan't remember back to who said it or what I was saying, but it probably was something about the education I worked hard to get and how I've worked all those years and did everything for myself. But I used to alway look very nice, dressed well and wore nice jewelry. I assumed because I looked "expensive" they thought I was "high maintenance". What they probably meant was that I lived at a higher level than them, and maybe they were in a trailer or whatever. But men make more $ than most women, so if they had less than me, it was their own fault.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:45:26 PM
Two people weho really care for each other should pamper each other some, but no, I would not want an person who demands it. And that is not what I asked, anyhow. But are you trying to say pampering = high maintenance? I think it must be more than just that. My grandfather did things for my grandmother until the day she died, then he made sure everything was as she would have woanted it for her funeral. I didnt consider it high maintenance, but love. But she loved him too.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:41:28 PM
Why is it I've had guys just take one look at me and make a comment about me being "high Maintenance"? It mudst hav something to do with looks if they can judge it taht fast. How can you tell just by looking? I think I'm not. I'm very independent, always had to work for what I have, and definitely have not been spoiled ever in my life. In fact, just once I'd like to be sopiled!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do men want a woman who Takes Care of Herself, yet Don't want one who's High Maintenance? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:36:05 PM
Im my experience it's usually the men who are still babies. They want to lie on the sofa, "bring me" this and that, or go out and "play" with their friends. They do stupid things without thinking or concern for the other person, don't use the common sense God gave them.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Why does friends mean friends with benefits to men? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:26:33 PM
They're fishing. They hope you will read it and get "turned on" by what they are implying. Hope you're so hard up you will go for it, but what men don't realize is most of us aren't hard up for a man. Truthfully, a good vibrator is better than at least 50% of them (higher percentage as they get older).

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Why does friends mean friends with benefits to men? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:23:02 PM
You said "......they want the hole package.....". Not a typo; You got it Right!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Why does friends mean friends with benefits to men? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:20:29 PM
WRONG! Friends don't F--- Ever heard that expression? It's becaues once they do, they are no longer friends, at least not to us women.

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Why does friends mean friends with benefits to men? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:15:55 PM
Yeah, I hate this too! I'm a middle aged woman (hatet hat expression) but in many ways my age doesn't matter - I'm still a woman and deserve respect. I just got offline a little while ago with a POF male who is extremely anxious to meet me ( Bad Sign #1). I told him not to worry, we have plenty of time (I want ot get to know him online and by phone first!). So I also said "if nothing else, maybe we'll end up friends", and then he went into a story about the girl he had before he moved here who was a "friend" and they got together sometimes, had sex, and it never had to go any farther. Jeez, I keep running into this! The last two I met called it "F---Buddies" ! When we say NO, we mean NO and when we say Friends we mean just that - someone to hang out with, have dutch treat dates, I cook this Sat and you cook next Sat, watch movies, go fishing, or walk our dogs together---Not Sex. If it leads to that later, then the situation changes, but it does not start out as that from the first!

DebInTx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Why do men want a woman who "Takes Care of Herself", yet Don't want one who's "High Maintenance"? Posted: 6/10/2007 5:05:25 PM
All of my life I've heard men talk admiringly about a woman "who takes care of herself". What does that mean? She looks good? Wears nice cologne and clothes, shoes. Gets her hair and nails done, goes to the spa and exercises, keeps her figure, maybe even a little surgery...? If she has the time and money for all this, she's probably being kept by a sugar daddy or husband. So just what does it mean -"Takes care of herself"? Then you hear men speaking very angrily about women who are "high maintenance". So what does That mean? She does all the above and it costs money? Of course it does. And the older we get, the more 'maintenance' we need. Take a good look - maybe you need some maintenance yourself? But just because we look good doesn't mean we're to asking you to pay for it. It just might mean we have our own money to spend on ourselves, and why not? Don't you guys waste a lot of money on junk you don't need, like more than one car, or more of a car than you need? Or how about the other "vehicles" like boats, motorcycles, etc. ? I married a man who had a job paying more than I'd ever made, so I assumed if I had savings, he should as well. Not! He ended up blowing his salary & trying to get into my savings and spending it, too. I'd say He was "high maintenance", so this not just applies to women. Men and Women - what do you think about the conflicting statements of men wanting us to "Take Care of Ourselves", yet Not be "High Maintenance"? Can it be done? Please Tell Us How????

debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

Why do men ask about you past and then get angry Posted: 12/6/2006 6:40:58 PM
Seems everyone here responded here about the "past" as referring to sexual past. Why is that the main tihng on everyone's mind??? Sure, that's important as far as possibliity of STD's, but what about the past as far as criminal activity/dating criminal types, and other dishonesty such as taking advantage of other women, abandoning a girl who got pregnant, having his first wife put him in jail for hitting her, and things like getting fired from jobs, having a bad credit rating, drug and alcohol abuse, and on and on - all of these things DO make up who a person is and you should Never take the attitude that when you meet a person their slate is clean and you don't worry about their past. That's just Stupid! God, could I have saved msyelf a lot of heartbreak if I'd learned to check someone out thoroughly before getting involved. An example: I met the "man of my dreams" and everything fit with us. He kept up the lies and deception for over a year, we married, then he let his shields down some. I began to see and hear things that didn't quite make sense or didnt jive with something I remembered he'd said before. He became more abusive every time I asked him about something. I began to check him out - contacted the military, got into his records, contacted family members, first wife, even an old girlfriend from HS (got into his email). Found out he was not the person at all I thought he was. He had major problems and the anger was coming out at me. I had to leave to save myself from his abuse and even some illegal things he had done. I recently met another man and was very careful to listen to him. When I later heard contradicting things being said to a friend , I started putting the pieces together and realized I'd found another liar. Then I found out he had terrible credit problems, history of fighting in bars. A deputy sherrif in his county told me he'd been arrested just before we met for shooting a rifle at cars on Hwy 90 E. They had to close it down and get hin m under control. I believe he has mental problems. He was handsome, sexy, & fun, but I had to go. No big deal? Yes it is! Can you trust a liar? I liar is also a cheater, a thief, a criminal, an abuser and so on. The most important thing is being able to trust. So Yes, a person's past is very important and I don't blame anyone for asking. But No, don't tell them every detail of your past sex life. So what? A screw is a screw. It doens't matter how many times or in what positions, or what race he was. What matters here is just if you were careful and don't have a disease, and if you can be trusted to be faithful to a mate. I know a young married couple right now who's going through big problems & may divorce. A major part of it is her past. She really screwed around before marrying him, and he doesn't trust her while he's in Iraq. If you used to be a slut, don't tell him. If it's a small town, move elsewhere and start over as a decent woman. Straighten yourself up and if he's a good man, count your blessings and be true to him.

debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

Anyone from East Texas area? Posted: 7/24/2006 5:58:59 AM
I was born there, but got out as fast as I could. I lost that damned accent that sounds like from a foreign country, too. East Texas has a lot of history, maybe a some good people, but too many are prejudiced, ignorant redneck hicks I'm ashamed to say I'm related to. Those of us who are part American Indian still hid it (until my generartion) because they're even prejudiced against us - the very first Texans! I probably wouldn't date a man from there, because they are too old-fashioned and controlling about women. Women are humans too, not livestock.

debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 88 (view)

Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!! Posted: 7/24/2006 5:43:08 AM
The money is for the boy, not for her. And if he's old enough to be playing sports, his upkeep does cost a lot. And i'm sure her income is more than yhours. You just sound greedy. Try taking custody and keeping him fulltime. See how much you like it. From now on if you don't like supporting a kid, why not use birth control? YOu could just as easily have left her and taken everything yourself. You're just upest she got to it first. If she "ripped out your heart" this proves you're still in love with her, which is stupid. If she was so bad, you should be happy to be rid of her. Why let a slut mess you up and make you so crazy? SHe had a good reason to be looking for someone else. You probably were stingy and greedy with her all along. Of course, you could do like a lot of divorced men who pay child support - Look for another woman to marry and use her income to pay it - if you can find a woman that dumb! I never was. And I used birth control so I'd never have this problem.

debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Older men dating younger women --- does it work?? Posted: 7/22/2006 3:03:59 PM
...And just remember this: When you guys reach that "certain age" your d--k doesnt work so good anymore, but Our equipment never shuts down. You feel like you're just going to die if it won't get up, right? So you blame it on your wife because you aren't man enough to admit it's your own fault. You probably drank, smoked, ate wrong, let you damned stomach stick out farther than your d--k so you can't even see it anymore. Oh, but it's Her fault and all you need is a younger woman to "fix it", right? No, it's still going downhill, Mr. Weenie's going to die. What will you do? Willl you just commit suicide because life isn't worth living unless He gets up every day? I know a man (60) in that position right now. His d--k is just about totally limp now, he's tried everything including ordering those devices and blow up dolls on the net. He has heart trouble (bad) from years of smoking, drinking and living in the fast lane, and now has declined surgery for his prostate cancer because "My d--k won't get up anymore so I might as well die". HOw do I know these screwed up men - I'm a therapist, and I'm into Reality. Can any of you men see how totally stupid and insane this attitude is? Why does a small body part run your life for you? Get Real. Why not start being a human instead of a senseless animal?:

debintx

Joined: 6/30/2006

Msg: 107 (view)

Older men dating younger women --- does it work?? Posted: 7/22/2006 2:36:54 PM
I'm a woman in my 50's, have dated a lot of men, been single most of my adult life, and also am a psychotherapist - I 'm qualified to talk a lot aboaut this! A man in his 50's wanting ot fdate women 20 or 30 yrs younger is so very common. It's usually due tohis having a low self esteem and being very immature. He still wants to be a teenager, and is afraid of "getting old". Hew wants to a second chance to date the pretty girl he couldn't get when he was a teen or in his 20's because he was an ugly dork or didn't have a good enough car, job, etc. The only young women who will date such an older man are looking for something, just as you're looking for sex and a feeling of power and regained youth (which nothing can bring back). So what do those younger women want from you? Money. If they can tell you don't have it to give, (or are stingy) they won't date you. Will it work? In your mind maybe it "works" if you can get her in the bed, which is all you want, right? Will it last? No. She will either take all the money she can get from you and leave, and/or while you're worn out asleep on the sofa at 8 pm, she'll slip away to sleep with a young stud who satisfies her all night, instead of a limp-d--k old man who poops out and falls asleep on top of her after a few weak shoves. Does it work??? Yeah, for her if she can put up with you long enough to get what she wants. She might stay long enough for you to marry her so she can get more - your bank account, house, car, alimony,maybe even child support like what just happened to my stupid friend who was also thinking with the wrong head. Honest - his young little wife just cleaned him out so bad only a month ago and now he's having to live with friends or he'd be homeless. He doesn't even have $500 to pay a lawyer and take her to court. Sure there are men out ther trying to do the same thing to women. I've already had several men in their 20's and 30's contact me on here, and I've only been on here less than a month. Why? They don't want a 58 yr old woman (even tough I look pretty good). They figure I must have a pension, checks, maybe savings, own my own home...whatever they can get form me. Only most of us Women are more mature and intelligent than men, and know sex is not the most important damned thing in the world! Does it work? OK, if you want to be so low you have to Pay for it, because Pay you will. What's wrong with a woman your own age who has a job or retirement income, is smart, loyal, trustworthy, and can't get pregnant? Were you (or are you still) married to a woman your age, but left her becaues she "got old"? (So are you!). She's hoping you Do land a young chick, she catches AIDS, brings it home to you, takes you to the damned cleaners so you cant even afford medical care, and then you both rot to death and burn in hell. If you dumped a good woman just because 'she's old', you deserve it!

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