Chapter I: The Dating Saga chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Chapter I: The Dating Saga

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 23 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/13/2004 9:55:33 PM
I want you to seriously consider something. Noone was ever born great at anything. Yes, some pople have natural abilities that allow them to get good at things faster than others. But for the rest of us, it takes practice. You can read all you want about how to drive a car in books, but until you get in a car, and hit a few cones..several cones for some people, you'll never learn. You may not remember it, but you were probably very nervous the first time you drove a car by yourself, and it took several times to get used to it enough where your self confidence was high enough that it didn't even cross your mind anymore. This applies to alot of things in life, and most especially when it comes to meeting new people. You are shy, which means you havent gotten over your nervousness about other people. The only way you will get over this to overcome it, by actively meeting new people. If you truly want to get better at something, you have to practice, practice, practice. You don't have to have nerves of steel, hell it helps if you are kinda nervous. When you go out, walk up to everyone you see, introduce yourself, say hi. Don't worry if they like you or not, don't worry if their friends like you... I bet they'll remember you though. Don't ever be afraid of failure, it happens to all of us. Yes there are alot of fish out there, but not all of them are biting. Thats why they call it fishing, instead of catching. Good Luck

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 194 (view)

For All Posted: 10/13/2004 9:34:42 PM
My computer died over the weekend. I'm borrowing one to come on here. I have a few suggestions for everyone.. If you come to a juncture where there is no win... Laugh. Stop thinking about today..Stop worring about yesterday.. Enjoy tomorrow. If you aren't enjoying life, noone is ever going to want to join you. If you can't find love, you're not looking in the right place. If you think you are ugly, you are wrong. Thinking negatively about yourself will project that image on everyone you meet. Everyone was a stranger to you before you met them, at which point they became a potiental friend. Treat everyone as a friend, even if you aren't attracted to them. Think about how what you are going to say would affect you, if someone else was saying it in the same situation. The only cure for bad memories are good memories, if you don't have any..make some. There are three C's to any good relationship.. Communication, Compromise, Compassion. All three are neccesary equally. If someone is sad, offer a shoulder..an open ear, a quiet mouth, and a caring heart. When going on a first date.. be creative, be honest, be yourself, think about now, not later, offer what you are willing to give, and expect nothing in return. Give them your full attention. When you meet someone new.. don't expect anything more than companionship. If anything else happens, it will be for the good. If nothing else happens, you won't be disapointed. Everyone you meet deserves your respect, even if you do not agree with them. If you get mad, get real mad, and then get over it. If you are upset with someone who is a friend, get a notebook, and write down everything you want to say to them. Put that note in your drawer and reread it a week later, you'll be suprised at how much your heart can change if you give yourself enough time to relax. You can be happy. No matter what anyone ever does to you or for you, it is you that has to live with yourself, and find happiness in the world. Make decisions that you and only you can be happy with, considering another person in the equation secondly. Even if you love someone with all your heart, you are the one who has to decide for yourself in the end. I hope this is inlightening for you, and I hope that you all find happiness in your lives. If my situation gets better anytime soon, I'll be back too. But in the mean time, live your life, find something to be happy about, and before you know it, the problems you have now will be memories replaced by many more. Matt..Panama City, Fl

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

Anything for a Geek Chic? Posted: 10/13/2004 9:05:50 PM
This is what I don't understand. Most of you guys are on here looking for answers. Either you find yourself too shy to open up when the time is right, or you have been ignored afterwards because you came on too strong when the time was wrong. This young lady came on here looking for an answer, a simple answer. The humor involved is a sure thing, because guys rarely give simple answers...atleast ones that make sense and don't apply to just about every question. The question was : Are guys into smart women? Yes. Thats a bit too short.. But think about what you say to a girl/woman when she asks you a question. Not only your answer, but the way you give your answer can be what gets you a phone number, or what gets you sent on your way. Even if you don'y like, or aren't really interested in the woman asking the question, those women have friends, and so on. Be polite. Telling her to stop wearing makeup, and go try to be someone else isn't what you would like someone to say to you. Most guys complain about women when the woman does something that hurts your feelings.. Yes, guys have them. Somewhere.... But back to my point, women are big on apparence, and such. Smart girls are great, and them being pretty is a very big bonus, but remarking on what she is wearing, or how she does her hair might get you more than a dirty look. If she knows anything about the internet, or computers in general, she could shut you down from where she sits without a second thought. This isn't the seventh grade.. Grow up a little. You realized along time ago you had feelings. What you might have missed is that everyone else you meet, everywhere you go, throughout life has them too.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 72 (view)

why single women are attracted to jerks Posted: 10/13/2004 8:50:58 PM
I appoligize for not being more specific. But in general, the majority of when who do go for the jerks are going for the reasons I stated above. As I have stated in other areas on this site, not everyone is the same, and there are exceptions to every rule. The questions posted here was why do women go for jerks, so the generalization was already stated, I merely answered the question.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Anything for a Geek Chic? Posted: 10/11/2004 5:19:37 PM
Geek chics? I don't know anyone that wouldn't be happy with a smart witty girl. Being around someone who actually has an opinion, and could probably kick my butt at video games? Who in his right mind wouldn't want a geek chick.. In fact if you ask me, women who are smart, and look and act smart are sexier than Britney could ever be. Just my opinion...

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

Trying to understand a Woman!!! Posted: 10/11/2004 4:52:31 PM
That's just deep.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/11/2004 5:29:18 AM
I have to admit that cellphones are a great advantage in todays world, but you are right... bringing it with you on a date should be for emergency use only. I went out with a girl a few times recently and she couldn't stay off her phone... She was polite enough to text message them during the movie..VERY annoying!! I finially told her to either leave it in the car, or this would be our last date. You won't get any scolding from me.... If you don't like someone doing something, even if it is a compliment, you have every right to ask them to stop. Just explain to them how it makes you feel. After that, if it continues, just ignore them.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 170 (view)

Online dating is great Posted: 10/10/2004 4:52:02 PM
Everytime it gets knocked down, look up. Don't let anyone get you down, because if the one today doesnt want you, its her loss. Theres Plenty of Fish out there.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 4:50:01 PM
Do you honestly believe that wearing something is going to get you closer to women? If so.. If you really think that changing your personal looks will make women jump from the bushes and run your way.. Go get a mohawk... Die it blue. Wear nothing but black long sleeve shirts, and black pants... get some hot pink hitop shoes. buy some complete white contacts..and get a pet monkey that will stay on your shoulder. when you talk to women, talk extremely loud. If you really want to get noticed.. be yourself..just who you are, but if you want attention from everyone, go extreme.,!

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 168 (view)

Online dating is depressing for guys Posted: 10/10/2004 4:37:49 PM
Actually WS6TA.... After reading the original thread I responded to what I believe the problem was. But to address your responce correctly..there is a big difference. I am an accomplished writer, and have no problem describing my entire life and history writing. But when you write someone for the first time, it needs to be personal, but concise. Giving them a reason to read it is done with the subject line, the body of the email should be personal to the person you are writing, as well as informative, but if you tell them all of your good points as well as your failures, writing your entire online experience in one masterful piece, then what reason does she have to talk to you? You've already answered every question she would have. The firs email is supposed to give her a reason to want to talk to you, not avoid you. And on a final note, when a woman opens her email and gets a message from someone new, and opens it to find a few pages of .................................... She's online to check her mail, and see whos on..she doesnt know you from nobody, and you've written her a book. Now unless she is just bored out of her mind, shes gonna delete it without a second thought. So..Short, but personal. Inviting.. Think about it.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 1:56:03 PM
Kryptosdaddy, Look up 'startamusement' in your search engine Good prices on electronic dart boards, even good quality used ones for the low budget

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 1:43:07 PM
I hope it works out for you. Let me know how it goes, and if there is anything I can do to help.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 164 (view)

Online dating is depressing for guys Posted: 10/10/2004 1:38:30 PM
Ok.. Heres how I see things..Take it or leave it. You write a little note to them that says: I read your profile and I liked. Hit me up sometime. If you get any responces to that at all I would be suprised. It's very inpersonal, sounds like you could have said the same exact thing to every profile in here. Women like to believe the guy is being open and honest. Read their profile, and then write to them. Say hello. If there was a specific thing in their profile that you found interesting, write about it. Give them something to think about, a little about yourself, but not so much they need not ask you any questions. Something of interest in there profile can be from what they have said, or even the background in their picture, or the metalica tshirt they are wearing. Don't try to get too personal, but dont act like you dont have a personality. If they don't write back right away, give them time. Not everyone has time to answer every email they receive as quickly as others. If your message gets deleted, so what, she wasnt the only fish out there. There are Plenty of Fish out there. Subject lines are important, it's usually the first thing that a person sees, and can be the reason behind simple deletion. You can be very creative here.. use your imagination. Give them a reason to open the email. Good Luck

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 1:08:04 PM
Kryptosdaddy: If you give it your best shot you'll be fine. If you get the information about the machines, and go over it with the local owners you could explain how pubs in other areas have grown because of the heavy interest. You can point out that people put money in these machines that goes to the owner. In the long run, having contests in their pub would draw larger crowds to them, and with support from teams such as what you had in Myrtle Beach, more advertising with the pub name. Every business person out there loves publicity, especially if they dont have to pay for it. It being a college town, you can get the locals in the sport in another way.. Get your own board, invite friends and new people to come throw with you, talk about how much fun you had when you were on a team, and the excitement when you won. More people will be interested, which in turn will pressure the local pub owners to get boards. Put ads in the local weekly expressing an interest in the sport. I believe there are probably alot more people in your area that wish for the same thing, but don't have any idea what to do about it. Pubs aren't the only places that you can play..talk to owners of local diners, shop keepers, anywhere that can give you space and wants free advertising. Free advertising on your part can be as simple as a dart challenge at moe's diner friday at 8pm in the local weekly. If you cannot afford or cannot get sponsored for a coin opperated dart machine, get one from walmart that tallys the score, and charge people to enter the competition, splitting the profits with the shop owner. Use your profits for better advertising, and eventually a better machine. The local business's once you get going will get into the idea by getting new products that support the game. It's your dream.. go make it happen.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 12:51:25 PM
I agree with the idea that you might have better success meeting new people if you are seen with a woman, but I disagree with the escort idea. A false sense of confidence can be damaging. If you want to really experience this, go to a gentlemens club and have a really hot girl sit in your lap for $20. It feels really nice, but it doesn't really get you anywhere. I suggest you find someone you know, even a coworker male or female to go out with..AS FRIENDS. Being seen with people makes you less intimidating, and more approachable. Because if you are spending time with someone, and having fun.. you are less likely to appear wanting.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

More Fish Posted: 10/10/2004 12:45:00 PM
Thats a good one too.. If you are taking classes somewhere.. a whole stack of post-it notes can be used during a really boring lecture, then posted on every surface you pass on the way to the next class.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

'kay. so, what should I do? Posted: 10/10/2004 12:40:02 PM
Great attitude Skarsten.. Theres Plenty of Fish out there!! Don't get discouraged because one doesn't take the bait..

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 25 (view)

hairloss, dating, confidence Posted: 10/10/2004 12:34:20 PM
My grandad told me once that God made a few intelligent men, and put hair on the rest of them. Hairloss is a social anxiety for most men. But it doesn't make you second rate to anyone, infact it doesn't do anything for or against you. It's a natural thing in life, and people who cannot accept that are the ones living in denial. Wearing hats just prolongs your personal discomfort about being bald. If you look around, there are alot of men who are losing hair. Just think of it as your personal solar panel for the love machine.. Anyone who cannot accept you for who you are without wondering about your hair has such a low self esteem about themselves that no matter what you said to them would matter.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/10/2004 12:14:44 PM
Definitely. Women like to believe they have a say it whats going on, and when a guy comes on too strong he takes that feeling away from her. Confidence is a good thing to have, but over confidence is a good way to get slammed.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/10/2004 11:51:56 AM
Nobody likes to hear about ex's period. When someone talkes about her ex alot it makes me think she isn't completely over him, and not completely ready for anything new with me. I know that women relate alot of their life to their past, but bringing it up alot doesn't make a guy feel good about himself, rather the oppisite.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

More Fish Posted: 10/10/2004 11:39:56 AM
If you are like me, you probably noticed that there are alot of people on this site, but usually very few in your area. You want to meet new people, or atleast you want to talk to new people, so you came here searching. But so far you haven't had great luck with locals, but have made great friends with people in the same situation else where. My suggestion is that you go out and get a copy of every local paper in your town.. Get the address to all over them. Give Plenty of Fish some free advertising in your area. You don't have to give your name. Most small papers have sections where you can post a small ad for free, so post plentyoffish.com.. People in your area will get curious, and log on, and when they see how great the site is.. Well you get the idea. If you have something great, you should share it. Put a link to this site on your personal profile on aol, yahoo, msn. Although we might get a few more spammers, we'll also get alot more interesting people to talk to. Give it a try..it wont hurt you.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

To everyone Posted: 10/10/2004 11:38:48 AM
If you are like me, you probably noticed that there are alot of people on this site, but usually very few in your area. You want to meet new people, or atleast you want to talk to new people, so you came here searching. But so far you haven't had great luck with locals, but have made great friends with people in the same situation else where. My suggestion is that you go out and get a copy of every local paper in your town.. Get the address to all over them. Give Plenty of Fish some free advertising in your area. You don't have to give your name. Most small papers have sections where you can post a small ad for free, so post plentyoffish.com.. People in your area will get curious, and log on, and when they see how great the site is.. Well you get the idea. If you have something great, you should share it. Put a link to this site on your personal profile on aol, yahoo, msn. Although we might get a few more spammers, we'll also get alot more interesting people to talk to. Give it a try..it wont hurt you.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 10:15:53 AM
There wasnt one in Myrtle Beach either till someone started one. And with your experience, and know how.. maybe you should get the ball rolling. Contact the circuit of owners you used to follow and explain your situation. That you now live somewhere that doesn't have soft tip games, and explain that alot of people play steel tip, that it might be a good opportunity for them to invest in your area because noone else has. Show your strengths, market the idea to the locals, get involved. Before you know it, you might be enjoying your game again, and even more, you might meet tons of new people in the process.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 9:14:42 AM
It doesn't really matter where you go, because if you just sit still and act like your expecting women to just jump at you, you're not gonna have a great chance. If you go to a small pub, and sit in the corner watching everyone else have a good time, with a big smile.. You don't have a chance of meeting anyone. If you like to throw darts, throw darts. If you are playing pool, play pool. If a girl comes up to watch, talk to her about the game, ask if shed like to play. If she doesn't know how..offer to show her. Just be cool about it, don't try to get a date.. just talk, and have a good time. If there are no ladies close by, or the dart or pool table isn't close to where the women are, when its not your turn, look around the room.. But not like you're wearing biboculars..just scan the room. If you see a woman looking in your direction, like shes following the game.. walk over to where she is ask politely ask if shes interested in the game, who she thinks will win, or if she would like to play. But don't be suprised when she whoops your butt at either game. Women can play, and are usually alot better at it than we are. The one thing most of them don't want is some guy thinking just because she is playing pool with him that she wants to sleep with him. If everybody hooked up with someone the first night they went out, the only people that would be in clubs, or pubs would be kids that just got old enough to get in the place, and those lucky people that don't go out looking for a partner, rather go out to have fun.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Chapter I: The Dating Saga Posted: 10/10/2004 8:50:09 AM
WS6TA What you didn't mention in your first statement was what you did personally while you were in this club. Because if you just looked around, or sat in one spot hoping someone would look your way... Not many guys would have any luck that way. Women go to clubs to have fun, and if they meet someone there, then cool. But if you don't look like you are having a good time, or that you are only there to hook up, then you are gonna be the last person they are interested in. Maidendg is right to an extent, although I wouldn't suggest you make an a** of your self, I would suggest you go out to have a good time. You cannot date women, you cannot pick up women... Having said that, I'll explain. With a good conscience you can only pick up one woman, and you should only date one woman. There could be 10,000 women in a place, and you might have a chance with 1000 of them, but in the end you can only have 1. So I suggest you go out where women are, have a good time, and stop worring if anyone notices you. Before you know it, one of those women will notice you are havig a good time, and want to join you, maybe more than one. And if they do, just have fun, don't expect anything, just have fun. If it leads to anything, great, if not, then you have someone to have fun with next time. Heres where it gets interesting.. When you are having fun, and the girls you met last time are having fun..and your mind is totally off everyone else.. One of those girls you couldnt get to look at you weeks ago is wondering what you've got..and will make herself available. So just have a good time, take it easy, and let things happen. Good Luck

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/9/2004 4:13:17 PM
Ok, so alot of people read the forums, and so far I'm growing a new pet peeve..67 people have took the time to read this thread, and only 5 have responded with one of their own... Is the world all of a sudden perfect to everyone else? I come on here to offer advice to people and I started this thread to get peoples minds off their problems and on something that could prove interesting...Thats what a forum is, a place for common people to share ideas, and thoughts...So start sharing... LOL

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

sex on the date Posted: 10/9/2004 3:38:11 PM
I was on a great first date a few years back, she was the kind of girl I would have invested alot of time and effort for. Smart, funny, great personality, beautiful inside and out. We actually met online that day, and after just a little while I convinced her that we should do something, as friends just to see if we have anything else in common. At no point in our first conversation did sex come up, Not that I wasn't interested. We decided that I would pick her up, and we'd drive around town some talking, we did that and then stopped down by the bay to walk along the shore. After a little of this, we were sitting talking about our lives like old friends reunited. About an hour later after stopping by the liquior store for what she said would make the night more relaxing we were sitting face to face over a card table playing poker. Many, many games later and an empty bottle of white burbon we were cuddled up on the couch as close as two people can get without having sex. We kissed, and it was magical..The kind you read about in books, but never happens to you. Constantly asking each other if the comfort level was good enough, and if either of us could do anything to make the other more so. Soon we were asleep.. or atleast she was..I laid there cuddled up close to her wondering how my dumbass had gotten so lucky to be with someone obviously so wonderful.. The next morning we woke up in each others arms..I kissed her and then we got up. She asked me to take her home, so I did. We talked a little on the way there, and I asked if I could call her later, she said yes. After a couple days of calling to get a hang up I gave up. Months later she finally came online, and I demanded an explaination.. Turns out she was really hot for me, and really wanted to have sex that night, but since I hadn't even tried she was pissed, and offended. Enough that she wasn't willing to get in that situation again anytime soon. The point of my story is that you just gotta do what feels right.. and if it's wrong.. ohwell. Theres Plenty of Fish out there.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

got a pet? Posted: 10/8/2004 10:11:44 PM
Just to lighten things up a bit.. The funniest thing I've ever seen when it comes to peoples pets was a parrot who had originally learned to talk in Japan.. Can't explain it any further, you'll just have to imagine ....

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Trying to understand a Woman!!! Posted: 10/8/2004 9:43:20 PM
Thanks, It's nice to know someone is listening, and thanks for the compliment too.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Trying to understand a Woman!!! Posted: 10/8/2004 7:36:54 PM
You had a good relationship, with ups and downs. But it was over when she moved out. The hardest thing to do after a long relationships is over, no matter why it ended is letting go. Although you believe her to be a good person and you have fond memories of your relationship with her, you need to remember she left you. Get busy, find a hobby, stop taking her phone calls, don't call her. Close this part of your life. Get out and start making new memories. Yes it sounds harsh, yes it is, but if you have to move on with your life. In our past we have all had good times and bad times, good experiences and bad mistakes. It's ok to remember the good times you had, but you must always remember the bad with it. As to your question.. Trying to understand a Woman!!! Good luck on that one.. It's the oldest question in the world.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 71 (view)

Women making the first move Posted: 10/8/2004 6:03:49 PM
My point was that everyone is different, and you just have to give your best shot for the moment. Because you are secure about who you are, and have the confidence to open yourself to these people shows me that you are where alot of people wish they could be.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

out of your class... Posted: 10/8/2004 5:48:02 PM
I need more information to give you good advice on your current situation, but in general I'll give you something to think about. If someone is interested in you, your class or status doesn't matter till you make it obvious that it does to you. Guys who tell you about their jobs and how much they make are trying to impress you the woman with stability. Women in general are attracted to guys on a number of levels, the basics being stability, and confidence. So if this is true, and they are trying to impress you..then how much you make or how much or little you have isn't what really matters. Like I tell everyone else, just be yourself. Because if they can't handle you as you..no matter how much money you have, or what kind of status you have wont matter.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 69 (view)

Women making the first move Posted: 10/8/2004 5:14:31 PM
If you haven't read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" You should.. Not that you'll all of a sudden become a professor on the differences, but you'll get an idea of just how different we are. Online is a totally different world, things happen here that never would in real life. It's like being in a Masked Ball..eternally. Here's the best theory I have for you.... Women.. "Every guy in this place wants me, why should I approach any of them, if the right one is here, he'll be saying hello, and until then I'm gonna have fun" But in general.. women make the first move alot more often than you think, but in a very different way than guys do. Where men, even the shy ones use a direct approach, women use a subtle one. She stands a little close to you, she finds reasons to be in the same area more than once, she may even "accidentally" bump into you. We all makes moves when we notice someone we like, we just don't all do it the same way.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 23 (view)

How to interest a woman Posted: 10/8/2004 4:48:52 PM
WS6TA, Hey, you asked me to look into this thread and with the hope that I would give some insight. But I'm sorry to tell you that I don't believe I can tell you anymore than anyone else on this subject. Not that I don't know a few things you might be interested in, but not in the same way you want. It's best if you just be yourself. If you read the posts so far and those to come, you'll see similarities, and differences with everyone. Like with everything else there are do's and don't's.. Except with this topic where just about anything goes. The reason is that everyone is different, and each and everyone of them have good days and bad. What would work good with one woman today my be the wrong thing tomorrow. Be yourself, and don't try to impress them because if they like who you are and how you present yourself, and if you show that you have adaquate confidence then you have already impressed them. Theres no set way, or any certain words that I can tell you that will work with every woman out there. I'm sure you know someone that acts basically the same way everytime he talks to a woman, and usually gets good results. The reason here is that he is being himself, and showing confidence in himself. You don't have to be a macho man, or an emotional person, you just have to be who you are, and talk to her like she is just another person. If you get a date you can treat her like a princess all you want, but show her some respect when you first meet her and listen to what she has to say as a person. Be yourself...Plain and Simple.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/8/2004 1:09:41 PM
Messy hair definitely wouldn't be my problem. I've never seen the interest in baggy pants. Caked on makeup, and othe excesses are a first sign of low self esteem. Dirty teeth, and fingernails are big give aways for people just not caring about themselves, and if they can't do that, the chances of them caring for you are even less. I don't however think that any one has the right to judge another person based on the shape, or positions of their teeth. Alot of people have teeth alignment problems, but not everyones parents can afford the get braces for their children. Judging someone on the cleanliness of them is one thing, but on alignment, or just having bad teeth would be like judging someone for the length of their feet.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Need Some Advice? Posted: 10/7/2004 9:40:06 PM
You're all right to an extent, but every relationship is different in one way or the other, and the same. Sounds like your gf is bored.. You can have feelings for someone, love them, spend all your time with them..and still become bored. If you are lucky you can fix this, by spicing up your life and relationship. Talk to her about it, but try not to smother her with affection. You can give someone some breathing room, and still be there for them. But if that doesn't work.. You have the rest of your life to prove that you can be happy without her...

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Pet Peeves Posted: 10/7/2004 9:04:24 PM
People have always come to me with questions about almost everything, and most especially about dating, and relationships. Pet peeves are one thing that always interests me, especially when they apply to first dates. Mine is when a woman/girl has dirty finger nails.. Whats yours?

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

got a pet? Posted: 10/7/2004 8:58:01 PM
Pets, especially dogs have a great judge of character.. You judging the guys reaction to your beloved is natural.. It gives you a chance to see how he is with animals, the love of your life, your best friend, and believe me..if your dog hates this guy.. he's lying about something.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

He has never been interested in getting intimate... Posted: 10/7/2004 5:29:14 PM
Guys and girls do this, and it's not your fault. Basically what happens is that a person has one or several relationships that don't work out the way they wanted because of something. The way this sounds is that he was in relationships with women that he was sexually attracted to, and did have sex on a regular basis...but they didn't laugh at his jokes, or act interested in what he really liked.. or many other things.. So he desided this time to be with someone who he wasn't sexually attracted to, but did get along with other ways. You are upset because he isn't giving you the sexual attention you want, but he is most likely with you because you give him all the non sexual attention that he wants. Things can be worked out if you really like this guy and he likes you.. You have to open communications and explain what the kind of attention you want and what you're not getting, and what you plan to do if things don't change.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Humor and dating Posted: 10/7/2004 4:15:22 PM
I heard this years ago, and still think it's pretty funny.. This guy climbs to the top of the highest mountain he can find.. Lifts his arms high and pleads for God to answer a question for him. God's booming voice come down like thunder, "What is it my son?" Why did you make women so unbelivably beautiful? "Thats simple.." God said. "So you would be attracted to them and want to stop hanging out with the fellas and start making babies" The guy nods his head.. knowing he had heard the truth..but Hey wait God, before you go.. Can I ask one more question? "Of course my son, what is it?" If all that is true..why did you make them so dumb? "Thats very simple..... So they would be attracted to you"

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

akward question Posted: 10/7/2004 3:39:29 PM
The basic reason is that women are attracted to confidence, and face to face lets her see just how confident you are. There are other subtle clues she looks for that can be only seen face to face. Most women don't even realize they are looking for all of these clues, but they do usually know that it is easier to see how trust worthly when in close proximity.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

Anyone ever meet someone and Posted: 10/6/2004 11:13:43 PM
Take a deep breath..close your eyes.. imagine a bulldog eating mayonaise.. Open your eyes, walk over to her, and tell her that you've been thinking how wonderful it must be to see the world through such beautiful eyes..and walk away.. The fastest and easiest way to get over shyness is to throw yourself out there like an open book, and then close it just quickly that they got a enough of a peak to become interested, but not su much they dont have to ask questions. You'll never trully get what you seek if you are too afraid to show an interest.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

I feel like such a fool Posted: 10/6/2004 11:04:22 PM
This goes to everyone.. Forget what you've heard about strangers.. because the moment you start a conversation with someone they automatically become a potiental friend. To Ex.. When you find someone anywhere that you are attracted to in any way, be it looks or personality..Talk to them as a potiental friend, get to know them as a friend, Express yourself as you would to a friend.. Not the very close friends that you burp the alphebet to at 3am over the telephone, but the kind of friend you talk to about things important to you, your hobbies and interests. Let her talk, and listen. It helps to remember things that you talk about. A friend is someone who is a part of your life, even an online friend. You'll know when the time is right to express an interest in being more than friends, but show that you are a real person, and prove to her that you care that she is too.. The old saying goes.. Be yourself.. it applies to all aspects of life. Let her like you for who you are, what kind of person you are.. and mentioning the friend you called at 3am might get a laugh, and happiness is the one thing mostly all women want.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 70 (view)

why single women are attracted to jerks Posted: 10/6/2004 10:53:56 PM
Plain and simply.. single women are more often less confident about themselves than even they will admit to themselves, not to mention anyone else.. Jerks are full of confidence.. they are over flowing with who they are.. and the hunt is more important to them that the catch.. Jerks usually butter up to single women with everything they desire.. which are usually confidence building compliments, and attention, things that single women usually crave when they are sick of being single.. But as jerks usually do, after the hunt is over, and they are in a relationship..the revert back to being who they really are. Single men who aren't like this generally don't exude enough of their own self confidence to show a single women.. but its not all bad.. not all single women are like that, and after a few jerks, they come to their senses and realize what is truly important in a man and whats not.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

'kay. so, what should I do? Posted: 10/6/2004 10:45:06 PM
I wouldn't push things.. Because what it sounds like to me is that yes she is in a relationship, but maybe it isn't exactly what she had hoped for, or atleast isn't anymore. All relationships have ups and downs..and perhaps the date you had with her was on one of the downs.. If you are truly interested just be yourself and keep doing what you are doing.. she will eventually either end what she has for reasons of her own, or because she likes you better. There are some things I don't suggest you do.. don't try to push things with her, if the topic of her bf comes up, don't try to point out his problems, or over state your qualities. For one if you down him, although she may not be completely happy with him, she will defend him, and push you away.. The same thing could happen if you over state your qualities. Just be yourself and maintain your level of interest.. You could bring her a cup of coffee if you know she is busy, and its on your way, but even if it isn't..its a nice jesture. Maybe she likes you, but the timing isn't right because of what else is going on in her life, but since you work together, you get to see her all the time.. so just be patient, show her your interest to be her friend at the very least..and if things actually go the way you want.. then you are alot closer than you were. Good Luck.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

Nice come back for those really BAD rejections. Posted: 10/6/2004 10:32:53 PM
Seriously, if you want the best come back that will eat at her through out the night.. When the rejection come..act like you really didn't care, almost relieved she said no..don't say anything and walk away. It's easy to react this way..all you have to do is pretend that you lost a bet with a friend, and your payment was to ask this hideous creature to dance Women love giving these kind of rejections because it gives them an edge..makes them look superior.. but when you react with indifference..it makes that superior feeling they had deminish into nothing. She will have you on her mind from then till the next time she has a chance to quash some guys spirits. Before I get any hate mail from you ladies... I'm not saying all women are mean or evil, and not all ladies do this for the enjoyment of it.. But theres another reason women give these kinds of rejections.. because guys in general live in their own little world, and don't take subtle hints to stay away..and the only way women know to resolve this problem is with something mean enough to break through the guy's wall and hurt his feelings..and believe me guys..whether you admit it or not you know I'm right.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

SIGH Posted: 10/6/2004 10:16:57 PM
Eternity seems alot longer when you are watching the clock. Go enjoy life, spend time with friends and family.. and love will find you. It's usually a mistake.. it's a chance.. it's a gift.. but if you sit around wondering as the times goes by, thats what it will do... go by.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Ladies How many of you are truly willing to accept the man for who he is? Posted: 10/6/2004 10:11:17 PM
There are things you look for in a woman, and there are things women look for in you. Not everyone is the same. Someone mentioned supermodels as being the ones with everything, but in most cases its not true. Sure they have a great body, and a great job, but they generally have no social life, not one that is personal to them. Most guys are too shy to talk to them, or assume they aren't single and don't even try. Everyone has some basic qualities that prefer.. yes I said prefer. Nothing is concrete, you just have to find something in common and work around what isn't. It seems that alot of women are material girls, and some really are. Girls just wanna have fun..everybody's heard it, but girls also wanna be happy, and be spoiled, and be treated like she really means the world to someone. Not every girl out there is going to accept you for you, but the ones that will still look for basic things like stability.. stability in the mind, in the heart, and even in the job..yuck.. We as men in this day and age don't think like our fathers who thought of a good woman as a house keeper, child raiser or stay at home mom, but for some reason we didn't drop the desire to push money at women in an effort to persuade them in our favor. So them being material isn't all their fault, but it is their fault that although times have changed and women are now thought of as equals in the work force that the men should have the ability to support them. But luckily for us, time does change things and it will, but until then, just keep your head high, and realize that there are women out there thinking the same question about you..you just haven't found her yet.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 18 (view)

shaved bald men Posted: 10/6/2004 9:52:08 PM
I don't have to buy shampoo, or a comb, or a hair dryer. Theres no bad hair day. It's a personal choice, and it seriously boosts ones confidence because its like removing the mask and showing people who you really are. I really don't care if anyone isn't attracted to me because of the lack of hair, because anyone that shallow simply wouldn't understand.

flgriffin71

Joined: 9/23/2004

Msg: 119 (view)

Crazy Lady or just Rude? Posted: 10/6/2004 9:15:56 PM
Have you ever been somewhere and someone next to you says something about a book, or an ad on the front of a magazine? It doesn't always start a conversation, but it does make you recome to the reality that the other people in the world are just like you in one way or the other. We are all learning something, and it's usually more often than you realize. The strange thing here is that we all mistakingly have the perception that no one else has the same feelings, or thoughts, or experiences we are for the same reasons. The reason is that we don't really comminucate with each other about the things that affect us personally because of how it might sound to someone else, or the risk of embarassment or many other reasons. It's really fear that keeps us bound to doing the same things over and over until we accidently bump into someone else who thinks the same way at the same moment until the conversation at the supermarket turns into a friendship linked to that common fear. It's very basic, and so subtle that it's not even thought of. But in essence you aren't alone, you just think you are...

Show ALL Forums