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Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 1775 (view)

Anything Goes Posted: 7/7/2006 9:15:29 AM
blue eyed monster so it's you (this is new) since before, you flew after ripping me in two those eyes those eyes so blue, are knives that ran me through the poisonous smile when you had something for me to do. and now i thought about you and you called me, for you knew there was nothing i would not do to be with you.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Your favorite poems by others Posted: 7/7/2006 8:57:17 AM
INVICTUS Out of the darkness which covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced, nor cried aloud; Under the bludgeoning of Chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade; Yet the passing of the years Has found, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how straight the gate, Nor how charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. ----William Henley

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

If you were once overweight yourself....will you now date a person who is trying to lose weight?? Posted: 7/7/2006 8:48:27 AM
Dru-- You have your opinion, and that is fine; you're entitled to it. On the other hand, I haven't "compromised" any of my values, nor have I decided to become conformist or politically correct. The truth is that, for me, some women have personalities that turn me on more than their looks do. But that's just me. I don't know for how many men that is true, but I doubt very much I'm the only one. Looks are important; I would never deny that, but to me they are only one part of attraction--and not the most important part.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

this is shallow but it happens to me...does it happen to you too ... Posted: 7/7/2006 3:32:49 AM
My mistake, and I apologize. As for why--because of a lack of focus, I think. This is a game with no rules at all--or, more precisely, the rules are different for every single person. Very few of us know exactly what we're looking for, and what we're looking for never stays consistent. And fewer still find what they are looking for. Dating is a game that makes chess look childish--hell, it makes particle physics seem easy. Some people claim to have a "system" or way of doing things that's fool-proof, and they make money with their pretensions. The reason they make money is that finding the right person is so incredibly difficult that it leads people to desperation.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

If you were once overweight yourself....will you now date a person who is trying to lose weight?? Posted: 7/7/2006 3:01:06 AM
As I've said, it's possible for personality to provide the attraction that looks don't. I think that's what "shallow" really means--being unable to accept that.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 135 (view)

Thirty and not married Posted: 7/7/2006 2:53:46 AM
Road, it ain't no f__ing picnic around here, either.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

this is shallow but it happens to me...does it happen to you too ... Posted: 7/7/2006 2:50:21 AM
I think this calls for some defensiveness. Guys are no more shallow than women in choosing a mate. Women are every bit as picky as men. How much money does he make? How tall is he? Oooh, I can't stand it, he has a hair out of place. He uses too much cologne. He doesn't use enough. I don't like his clothes. He needs a better car. He spends too much on his car. He's vain. He doesn't take good enough care of himself. I don't like his teeth. His job is going nowhere. He's TOO NICE. He's ARROGANT. Blah, blah, blah, blah!! I'm tired of being called shallow by women who do exactly the same thing. Get over it, sweetheart. You are no better.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 1006 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:38:40 AM
...and I thought MY posts were long. I honestly couldn't read through all that, but I would say that this is not the place to talk about religion or to preach. There are forums for that, and this is not one of them. I'm not interested in what the Book of Matthew says--or any other part of the New Testament. I suppose if you have religious objections to premarital sex this would be a place to state that fact--but not to expose us to thousands of words of it. I really don't care if a 2000-year old book says I shouldn't bone my girlfriend. My religious beliefs are what they are--private. I didn't invite anyone else to share them, and I wonder why people feel compelled to shove their beliefs down our throats.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

What does a guy really mean? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:31:48 AM
He's probably not the one for you. But at least he was honest and didn't string you along about the whole thing--he told you how he felt and let you decide.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

How Do Men Feel About Dating Virgins? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:29:15 AM
I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it. Sex is a tense enough subject between men and women without throwing virginity into the mix. You never know whether she'll like it, or whether you're compatible. Unless I felt very strongly about the girl--strongly enough to put a lot of extra effort, time patience and understanding--I'd have to pass.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 778 (view)

do men actually exist that date women with kids?? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:26:20 AM
Many of us are not unwilling to date women with kids--I don't mind, personally. The problem is that if you date a woman with kids, it follows that you may get attached to those kids. Then, if it doesn't work out betwen the man and woman, you find yourself cut off from them as well--and it's not great for the kids, either, especially if the man and the kids hit it off. Some men are reluctant to get attached to a woman's kids for that reason. I would imagine the same thing is true for women dating single fathers. A lot of men will try to keep a distance between themselves and the children until they have some confidence about the relationship. Personally, I consider it a calculated risk. Besides, if you exclude single mothers from your pool of available dating prospects you've already put yourself at a disadvantage, because there are so many out there.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 7/6/2006 4:34:35 AM
"Here's a question for all of you enlightened men - if you are having a conversation with an older, married, unattractive female co-worker, or your female boss, it wouldn't bother you if she spent the entire time gazing at your crotch? What if that female staring at your penis just happened to be standing next to you on the subway, or a customer? What if the person staring at your crotch and obviously not listening to a word you say was a male, homosexual co-worker. Wouldn't make you uncomfortable?" Wouldn't bother me a bit--I'd see it as a chance to get promoted. You have to take opportunities as they come, after all. (If you knew my boss you'd know how absurd that scenario is--I can't imagine it ever happening). As for the homosexual, it's happened before. I just ask them if their life insurance is paid up, and if they are an organ donor. It usually works, and after that we get along just fine. No--unlike you, most men are flattered if a member of the opposite sex finds them attractive. There's nothing abnormal or wrong about it.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 1000 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 7/6/2006 4:04:57 AM
I wouldn't want to say "no way"--but it's very unlikely. I'd have to be as sure as possible we were compatible in every other way, and that her desire to wait for marriage before intercourse was not the result of some psychological problem she had. And I doubt it would be possible to establish that beforehand. I'd probably have to pass on that. I wouldn't necessarily ditch her on the first date if she said she was waiting until marriage for sex, but if I became convinced she really meant it, I would very likely get rid of her. Sorry, but life's too short for long, platonic engagements with uncertain outcomes. If I want platonic female love, I'll go see one of my friends.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Excuses you use Posted: 7/5/2006 8:41:13 PM
Though I have to admit, there is something about the phrase, "brutally honest" that does irritate me. Perhaps it is the connotation of anger and defensiveness. It seems to imply that the honesty is for that person a way of lashing out.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 79 (view)

How do you guys/girls deal with rejection Posted: 7/5/2006 8:23:27 PM
Right, Crimson! FPS are great, aren't they? You can get out all your frustrations without going to prison, and it's cheaper than therapy. Take that, you ))( **stards!! DIE!!

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

I Have a Question... Posted: 7/5/2006 8:19:37 PM
Well, as I said I have no intention of having sex with this woman. Still, I suppose the temptation would get worse as time went on. I was hoping there might be a way to salvage something from our friendship in spite of all this, but now I'm not optimistic. GDmn it, anyway! You know, sometime this whole sex-drive thing is more a f___ing nuisance than anything else. I mean, what function does it really serve? It's not like we're in any danger of dying out as a race, so propagating the species is not an issue. I'm sure the species would get along just fine without my genetic contribution. Despite what I wrote in other places about not giving up, there are times--like this--when I want to say f___ the whole thing. I can't believe it should be THIS difficult to find the right person--it can't always have been this way; otherwise we'd have died out as a race millions of years ago.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

What Do You Girls Think When... Posted: 7/5/2006 8:07:33 PM
I'm not a girl--last time I checked--but I would think unless she is a total flake, or had some special reason to suspect otherwise, she would interpret it as: he enjoys my company and likes spending time with me. Even if she didn't, so long as that is what you really mean--it IS what you mean, isn't it?--at worst it would only be a simple misunderstanding, easily cleared up.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I Have a Question... Posted: 7/5/2006 7:40:08 PM
In my own defense, though I should say: I'm not a damned fool. I know how idiotic this all is, and how ridiculous. I've sat down and tried, many times, to figure out how I could possibly be so dumb as to let this happen to me--tried, but not come up with much. One thing I have decided, though--never again. It ain't happening again; this is the first, last and only time I fall in love with someone totally inaccessible like that. Still, if there's a lesson to be learned here--other than "don't do it"--I'll be damned if I know what it is.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

I Have a Question... Posted: 7/5/2006 7:29:25 PM
Well, I have to admit that if she really came on to me I probably couldn't resist. On the other hand, I'm way too shy to try anything myself, and I think she knows that and feels safe as a consequence. I'm not as shy as I used to be, though, and there are times when I wonder if she is really as safe as she apparently believes...but then there is the whole moral issue, too, which I can't get away from. It would just be...wrong. And what if I tried and she didn't reciprocate. It could ruin everything--though I suspect there is little to be ruined in the first place. And if she did reciprocate it would also ruin everything, just take longer and drag down three people rather than only one. GRRRRRRRRRR It's always a lot more amusing when it happens to someone else, isn't it?

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Excuses you use Posted: 7/5/2006 7:13:16 PM
Some guys get offended by an honest answer, but over the years I've gotten to the point where I'd rather she just come out and say "you're not my type." I can respect that. I don't even need to know WHY I'm not your type--actually, I really don't care anyway, because the answer is meaningless and it does me no good to know it. To me, all the little lies, half-truths, evasiveness and "let's just be friends" insult my intelligence. They may be meant to salve my feelings, but they do just the opposite; they make it seem as though I can't handle the truth. Believe me, I can. I might be hurt, but I'll live. Just my opinion.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

I Have a Question... Posted: 7/5/2006 6:59:15 PM
I'm really not worried about controlling myself--I've been successful so far, at any rate. But from what you are saying this is a no-win situation even though I have no intention of having an affair with her. I was afraid of that. I never wanted to believe it was a lost cause, but I'm coming round to that point of view. I wish it were only a physical thing, but then for me the physical never occurs in a vacuum; it's always tied in with the emotions. Damn it all, anyway.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Would a girl accept a man if.... Posted: 7/5/2006 6:49:58 PM
"i'd prefer a man who doesn't drink a lot, but i haven't met many of those. drinking seems to be the thing, and i've accepted it.... i used to drink (DRAMA!) my father was a drunk, so i've tolerated it all my life.. maybe i'm just attracted to that sort? (well USED TO BE)" I guess I'd be perfect for you in that sense, if probably not in others. I hardly ever drink--not because I have anything against it morally, but because it tastes nasty and does nothing for me--and I find drunk people annoying. Besides, it dulls my wits and I can't stand that. It's hard to find all the characteristics you're looking for in any one person, isn't it? In my case, I did find them all in one person--one who was totally unavailable. Sigh.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

Thirty and not married Posted: 7/5/2006 6:44:46 PM
<-------never married, no children. So no, sweetheart, you're not alone--not in that sense, anyway.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I Have a Question... Posted: 7/5/2006 6:41:38 PM
OK, ladies, tell me what you think. In my view, men and women can be friends without difficulty, so long as there isn't much in the way of physical attraction between them. But what if there is? You see, I'm friends with a former co-worker of mine. I value her friendship very much and don't want to lose it. On the other hand, I'm very attracted to her. What's more, she knows it--would have to know it unless she was blind, which she isn't; and of course I've hinted at it from time to time. Though I'm not positive, I'm fairly sure she also feels attracted to me, based on her sometimes flirtatious behavior--though I doubt she would admit it. To top it off, she's married. Now, I don't have any intention of doing anything--like an affair--that would jeapordize her marriage or her happiness; I genuinely want her to be happy, even if it's with someone else (though I have my doubts about how happy her marriage is). But it's also hurting me, because in my case it's more than just physical attraction, and I have no appropriate way of expressing those feelings. I wish I could just turn it off like a light switch, but I can't. Under the circumstances, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't even try to be friends with this woman, that sooner or later things will get out of hand, especially if we keep playing games with each other. On the other hand, I don't have so many friends that I can just casually give them up, either. So, what should I do? Is there any good solution? And, is this woman using me, consciously or unconsciously, as a "safe" way to get the flattering male attention she needs whenver hubby doesn't give it? And if she is, what should I do about it? Any feedback would be appreciated.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

A question about tools...... Posted: 7/5/2006 6:16:39 PM
"Would you really want to teach such a person how to use a tool that could cut your arm off?" A point, I must concede. But then, they already know how to use scissors, so it's probably wasted effort to conceal knowledge of other tools. With the scissors they can already cut off the most important parts, so you're doomed anyway.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Carpe Diem is a Fool's Paradise Posted: 7/5/2006 6:11:02 PM
And if Latin is your thing, here's another one: Dum vivimus, vivamus. "While we live, let us live."

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Carpe Diem is a Fool's Paradise Posted: 7/5/2006 6:08:43 PM
Dude, you are missing the point entirely. The philosophy of "carpe diem" has nothing to do with ignoring the concerns of the future in favor of temporary wish fulfillment. What it means is recognizing and appreciating what you have NOW, because tomorrow it might not be there--and you might not be, either. It means living your life as fully as possible--I know that is an overgeneralization, but it's true nonetheless. Or, put another way, it might mean getting the most out of each day. That's as close as I can put it. Only a fool would sacrifice happiness for the sake of some illusory, future security or safety. There IS no safety or security in this world. It doesn't mean you don't plan ahead, but it does mean you also plan for right now.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Girl at work has a bf... Posted: 7/5/2006 5:58:16 PM
"Put the shoe on the other foot and then your better able to understand the answer. In other words walk in the other guys shoes a bit and ask yourself if you would like to be in those shoes one day. What goes around comes around. JMHO " Ordinarily, I would never advise you to mess with someone else's woman, but in this case don't listen to the above poster. Ever heard "all's fair in love and war?" In this case it's true. If he can't keep her happy, then to hell with him. It's not like they are married. Then it would be a much bigger moral issue. Just be aware that it might be you getting cheated on next--they are right about that. So, you'd better make sure you hold her interest a lot more strongly than this other guy has. Even so, there are no guarantees--which is as true for you as it is for the poor **stard you're about to replace.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Would you give a chance, to a man with no confidence? Posted: 7/5/2006 5:48:19 PM
Oh, just one example and then I'll shut up: President Grant--10 years before he became President he was a nobody, with no "confidence." No one thought he would ever amount to anything; he was known as a loser, even a bum. He had been to West Point, but finished low in his class and was not successful in the army. Then the Civil War broke out, and through a combination of persistence and luck he eventually, in 1864, became Commanding General of United States Army. Then he went on to whip Robert E. Lee, who was one of the most talented generals in history. A few years later, Grant became President--not a good one, admittedly, but still President. How did he do this? It wasn't about confidence but courage--he never, ever gave up. (And even Lee thought about suicide once; he was overheard saying, "How easily I could be rid of all this and be at peace...I have but only to ride up and down the firing line and it would all be over. But it is our duty to live.")

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Would you give a chance, to a man with no confidence? Posted: 7/5/2006 5:33:24 PM
I guess I'd also have to say that it's not just "confidence." How many things in life are we truly confident about? It's all relative; in an absolute sense I'm not even confident I'll be alive in the morning. I think it's more about courage. They say courage is the conquest of fear--so if you ask a woman out in spite of your fears that, to me is true confidence--confidence in yourself. It's telling yourself, "I know I can do this even though I'm afraid." After all, how do men make themselves charge into machine-gun fire? It sure as hell isn't because they're confident they'll survive. It's because they have confidence in their own courage, in their ability to do what they have to do in spite of fear and danger. Maybe it's an extreme comparison, but I think it's valid.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

How do you guys/girls deal with rejection Posted: 7/5/2006 5:17:31 PM
Well, well, well...a woman gets rejected and wonders how to deal with it. Welcome to our world, the wonderful world of men. I don't mean to be insensitive, but as guys we have to make 95% of the initial effort in a relationship, and that means risking rejection. There's really no way to "deal" with it other than sucking it up and taking your lumps like a man--or like a woman, I suppose. I've been told that it gets less intimidating the more times you experience it, but I have not found that to be the case; certainly it's never gotten easier for me. You just have to steel yourself for it. If there were some magical way to make it less painful, I'd be doing it myself--but I've never found one.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

being a gentlemen Posted: 7/5/2006 5:02:46 PM
Another "Nice Guy" thread? Oh, brother... I'll make my own position clear: I am a nice guy. I'm sentimental, soft-hearted and yes, in some ways a pushover. Always a sucker for a woman. I love to do things for a woman, just to see her smile, just to make her feel special. I also have a ferocious temper and, these days at least, don't let anyone give me crap--and that includes women. I'm also clear about my likes and dislikes--not pushy, just straightforward. I've found these two traits are not incompatible. I've also decided that if I have to be a jerk to get women, then to hell with it. I'm not capable of changing myself into a jerk just to get laid. So, all you jerks who get the dates, and get laid, consider this: you can get laid, but I can look in the mirror and like the person I see. I know which I'd rather pick. All you're getting, as a jerk, is some poontang. You're not bonding, and even if the poor, misguided broad falls in love with you, you won't be able to appreciate it because you're an emotional eunuch. In the meantime, I will fall hopelessly in love with some woman and maybe be miserable, and enjoy every minute of it. And by the way, my fellow men, I'm not too nice to kick the ___ out of you if you mess with me.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 250 (view)

Is it okay for a woman to hit a man? Posted: 7/5/2006 4:39:55 PM
Self-defense only. ONLY. There is no other excuse for it, by either sex, and I'm glad the laws are beginning to reflect that fact. Now, domestic violence means an automatic trip to jail in most places, whether you are male or female, and regardless of whether the other party wants to press charges. And that is totally as it should be. If a woman hits me, and it's not a playful thing, I get my coat and leave immediately, and ignore anything she says. If she won't stop hitting me, I call the cops and have her ass thrown in the slammer. Only if I thought I were in real danger of being hurt or killed would I hit her back, because in our society a man is automatically guilty when he hits a woman even in self-defense. It's never acceptable.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Who gets the most responses? Posted: 7/5/2006 4:21:04 PM
I'm sorry, but I can't answer your question very well because the sample size is too small. If you only send 10 messages, the usual percentage (for guys) of responses is 0.2152%. Rounded up, it comes to 0.22%. If you increase the sample size to 100, then we're in business, with an average of 2.2 replies for every 100 emails sent. Bring it up to 1000 sent messages, and you get 22 replies. I won't bother with 10,000 messages, since no one has time for that unless they have a really cool mass-mailing software package. But that's just replies. If 1 out of 10 leads to a face-to-face meeting (probably overly generous, but what the hell), and 50% of those meetings leads to a second date, then we can compute the odds for 100 sent messages by a guy: 0.221000.5*0.1=1.1 That means if you send 100 messages you have about a 1% chance of something that could laughingly be called a relationship. Of course, there are other variables which can raise or decrease the probabilities; these are only averages. On the other hand, look at the bright side: If you send 100 messages 100 times, your probability of meeting someone rises to 110%--you're IN. BTW, I'm kidding.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Got a question for all people on this website Posted: 7/5/2006 4:00:36 PM
I may not be very attractive and i really dont care if other people think im ugly or not. I always thought that GROWN-UPS could get over the looks factor, especially when someone is just wanting to chat to meet friends. Was I wrong? Is this world still as immature as it was high school? I could understand if i had an awful personality but Im a really nice person. What is this world coming to? Every where I look it seems we are becoming a horrible society to live in. Do you really think you are ugly? If so, you are mistaken. Maybe you're a little on the big side--on the other hand, I don't see you smiling in your picture, either. Trust me when I say that a nice smile, for me at least, automatically raises attractiveness by at least 20%. As to your specific question, the odds of meeting anyone on here are about the same as meeting them in real life--in short, not good. Let's face it, we're all playing a dating game in which the deck is stacked in favor of those with looks, money and power. That leaves us with three choices: 1.) Quit, and buy hand-lotion by the case; 2.) Keep trying the same way we always have in the hopes we will get lucky; or 3). Learn how to "skin" a deck of cards and stack it in our OWN favor. Myself, I'm going for option 3. If my looks aren't so great, I'm going to do what I can to improve them. If I don't make enough money, I'm going to learn how to make more. Whatever I can do to make myself more attractive--without abandoning my principles or self respect--I will do. Like any game, the object is to win. And there are no consolation prizes for second place; there is no second place. Either you win or you don't. That means you have to play, and play hard. Fortunately, this game doesn't end until you're pushing up daisies, so you have a long time to figure it out. (didn't mean to be harsh, but I thought you needed some motivation).

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Who really wants a long term? Posted: 7/5/2006 3:38:23 PM
Kat-- 1. Please dispense with the CAPS. They're annoying--and against the rules, too, I believe. 2. The only guys who would meet you and immediately start obsessing about boning you are cretins you shouldn't be interested in anyway. 3. The guy who thinks you're all that and a slice of bread, and wants more from you than just sex, is probably not the guy who immediately comes up and starts talking when you enter the room. Instead, look in the corner for the guy who might smile at you but is a little shy at first. Make an effort to draw him out. Pretty soon, he'll be eating from your hand--and hopefully, you'll be wanting to eat from his.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Who really wants a long term? Posted: 7/5/2006 3:32:25 PM
Fred, LOL Judging by your outfit, they do exactly that--give you a dime, I mean. Is it a living?

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

If you were once overweight yourself....will you now date a person who is trying to lose weight?? Posted: 7/5/2006 3:19:32 PM
Dru, Your agreement or disagreement with what I said is, as you pointed out, irrelevant. I would say, however, that until I called you on it, you hardly even mentioned the personality issue except to disparage it. And now you say if she is a hottie who is dead inside you're not interested. Maybe that's true, but I have my doubts based on the tone and content of your post. So I stick by my original contention that you are superficial. By the way, if you were truly indifferent to my opinion you wouldn't have bothered to respond at all. Nice try, buddy.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

a male perspective please! Posted: 7/5/2006 3:05:20 PM
Well, I hate to say it, but yes, he really could be that forgetful/stupid/absentminded. But it's not likely. The fact that you are dating other men while this is going on indicates to me--and probably to him as well--that you are not taking the whole thing all that seriously. And if you aren't, then why should he? If a man is seriously interested in you, he will find the time--same for women. People who claim to be too busy are lying 99% of the time. No guy is THAT busy. From my own perspective, there are damned few things in my life I would be unwilling to reschedule or rearrange for the right woman. Forget him and get someone who's willing to make an effort.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

who still knows how to two step Posted: 7/5/2006 2:51:24 PM
Actually, I do. I took some dance lessons a while back, hoping to meet women. I thought it would suck, but in truth I enjoyed it.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 7/5/2006 2:46:46 PM
Thanks, ub. I guess it will have to stay theoretical for me--I wouldn't be caught dead in something like that.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 7/5/2006 2:17:03 PM
Hey, cal-- what's a "wife-beater?" I've never heard the term before with respect to clothing, and I'm just curious... Drachnar

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Wife pregnant from another man Posted: 7/5/2006 1:45:23 PM
PS: I just have to wonder why you are on a dating site, and have been for almost two months, if you have any real intention of saving your marriage. Or perhaps you made the whole thing up?

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Who really wants a long term? Posted: 7/5/2006 1:33:51 PM
This question strikes me as so inane I have to wonder if it is a serious post...but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. People spend their entire lives looking for long-term relationships. They spend thousands of dollars--and thousands of hours--looking for the right person. Contrary to how it may sometimes seem, most men are NOT looking for a "quickie." If it comes to that, your hand is a much better option--it's free and knows exactly what you like. On the other hand (no pun intended) it can't talk to you or tell you it loves you--and if it does, finding a woman is the least of your worries. Anyway, don't make the mistake of thinking men are out only for the sex. We want the same things you do--companionship, support and love. We may sometimes be more overtly sexual than you, but you should not interpret that as meaning it is all we care about. It isn't.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 7/5/2006 1:20:40 PM
It's strange how some women wear clothing that accentuates their physical endowments--presumably because they want to look attractive to men--and then complain endlessly when the clothing achieves its purpose. Men like breasts. Why? For the same reason women find tall, muscular men attractive--it's a visible symbol of their sexuality. This is not rocket science here, sweetheart. I suppose if a man is constantly staring at your cleavage and drooling openly, it is a sign of a lack of discipline or self-awareness on his part, one that might be indicative of a character defect. But for crying out loud, "checking someone out" is part of the attraction/flirting/dating process. My advice is, if you don't like it go join a convent. Nun's clothing is notably unrevealing, and you won't have to put up with so much annoying attention from the "lads." (sorry, I'm not a Brit.)

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Would you give a chance, to a man with no confidence? Posted: 7/5/2006 1:06:50 PM
I know you directed the question to women, but I can't help weighing in on it myself. Some of the posters on this thread assert that confidence can't be given to you, and that is true. But it doesn't mean what it seems to mean. Success builds confidence, which leads to greater effort, and thence to more success. Failure follows a similar cycle. But in order to succeed, you have to try--and that means being willing to accept failure and learn from it. Nearly all the great men in history, those who have achieved great things, lost confidence at one point or another. What made them great was the fact that they fought through it and, in spite of all odds, succeeded. How does that translate into dating? Well, it means sucking it up and being a man about it. It means forcing yourself to try, even if you don't get anywhere at first. Discouragement and doubt are par for the course; they will happen to you in any difficult task you undertake (and dating certainly qualifies as that!). Just don't let them stop you from doing it. I think--and women can correct me if I'm wrong--that many women would be impressed if a man who was obviously intimidated by them nonetheless found the guts to ask them out, despite the fact that he thought they would reject him. That happened to me once, with a very attractive coworker--I asked her out even though I was scared ____less, and I know she could see that. And she said "yes." Good old-fashioned bravery still counts for something, I guess.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Should I be honest? Posted: 7/5/2006 12:43:09 PM
Actually, I have a slightly different take. If you're not interested when I write to you, feel free to send me the most degrading, insulting and offensive response you can come up with. Be creative, and don't hold anything back. Not only does it point out to me at once that you are a shallow, ignorant b___ with delusions of royalty (thereby preventing from wasting time on you), I find it amusing, especially if it's particularly nasty or well-written. I might get a good laugh out of it, if nothing else. So please, ladies: The nastier the better. I LIKE it that way.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

Wife pregnant from another man Posted: 7/5/2006 12:32:46 PM
"If that was me, she would raise that child herself and I would be talking to her only through a lawyer." I have to agree with the above comment. Ordinarily, I think divorce is a last resort, but as Bugs Bunny would say, "Of course you know, THIS means war!" And here I thought MY life was all ___ed up. Cut your losses and bail. That's all you can do now. Other than that, I can only say....better you than me, dude.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

If you were once overweight yourself....will you now date a person who is trying to lose weight?? Posted: 7/5/2006 11:37:45 AM
"AND NO, YOU WON'T GET MY BLOOD PUMPING OR TURN ME ON IF I GET TO KNOW YOUR PERSONALITY!!! THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! ONLY THING IT WILL MAKE ME WANT IS TO BE YOUR FRIEND. Why is it so hard for bigger girls to understand attraction? I'm sure there are guys out there that they are not attracted to. If attraction is a superficial and shallow quality that "us a-holes" hold dear, then why are they not going after those guys that they themselves are not attracted too, why are they holding up a double standard for all to see" It would be foolish to deny there is some truth to this, but keep in mind, sir, that not all men would agree with you. There is a double standard, but it is no worse than the many double standards we impose upon women all the time. And yes, I do get turned on by a woman's personality--mentally and physically--under the right circumstances. In fact, personality can make a woman intensely attractive to me even when I would not ordinarily find her so based on her looks. If your appreciation is truly that superficial, then I pity any woman who gets involved with you. Looks are part of it--but only ONE part.

Drachnar

Joined: 7/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

If you were once overweight yourself....will you now date a person who is trying to lose weight?? Posted: 7/5/2006 11:28:46 AM
Teusweet, I know how difficult it is to do what you've accomplished, having done it myself. My hat's off to you. For the most part I agree with you, especially in reference to the derogatory term "fattie." Personally, I think I'm unwilling to date someone more overweight than myself because I always thought--rightly or wrongly--that it was my own weight keeping me from getting a lot of dates. But that's my own issue. Anyway, congrats!

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