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clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

online dating and jealousy Posted: 4/23/2009 8:16:50 AM
I think you are dating, not having a relationship. Having a relationship usually means there are some boundaries and some type of committment, although often people just assume those things rather than talking about them specifically. Sounds like you are applying relationship rules you haven't even talked about to a dating situation. If you want to define the relationship then talk to him about it rather than assuming your idea of when a relationship starts and the rules it follows are the same as his. I do agree with some other posts here though, 2 weeks is a bit early to be talking relationship issues. Relax and give it some time, enjoy yourself.

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Is Honesty Really The Best Policy?... Posted: 2/18/2009 6:13:29 PM
Honesty right? Okay. I would venture a guess that because you are attractive some guys may be 'testing the waters' to see if they can get lucky. Maybe figuring they can overlook the kids for a bit if they can have some physical fun with you. When it doesn't sound like that will happen, they bail and don't return your e-mails. Being a guy with kids, what I have run into is women who have had their kids and want a relationship with no kids. I've also heard a few male friends of mine whine about single mom's not having enough time for a relationship and how the kids come first ALL the time. Maybe you present the kids as being so high on your priority list that it scares the guys away? I really don't see anything in your profile about the kids so I don't think that is doing it but, maybe you present them strongly in e-mails? Best of luck

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

phone number Posted: 7/18/2007 7:09:26 PM
Some don't like typing and want to talk on the phone right away. Some ONLY want to talk online for weeks before they will even consider sharing phone numbers. So, everyone is a bit different. I think you have to just look at each person differently and not push. Personally, I prefer smoke signals but not everyone is into that. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Well guys I would like to know Posted: 7/5/2007 1:34:27 PM
Exactly how you use this site? --Viewing profiles, first contact, forums. how do you go about finding what you want? --Look at profiles What you do next and how? --E-mail those who appear interesting Are you always honest? --Yep, nothing to lose so why not. Are you actually serious? --About dating? Yes. Anything else, duhh, no. Have you ever found what you want? --From POF? Not really. From life? Found, lost, made mistakes, etc. How many dates have you been on? --Whole life? I wasn't counting. Resulting from POF: 2 Do you date more than one at a time? --I live a poly lifestyle at the moment. Good question! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

My sons pre school.... Posted: 6/23/2007 8:02:35 AM
Okay, don't get offended, just an observation here. . . . You seem to be upset mainly because your son was denied his snack. When I was a kid (I'm 41 now) if you had done something wrong it wasn't unheard of to be sent to bed without your dinner. And it wasn't just me but, friends of mine underwent the same punishment. Missing that one meal wouldn't kill you by any means but it sure got your attention. You mention that your son "loves" to wash his hands and it sounds unusual that he was refusing to wash. Is it possible he was testing this teacher's limits by refusing to wash? (I have a 9 yr old son so I'm very familiar with 'limit testing'.) That would also explain why this teacher seemed to not like your son. I'm guessing she is young so she probably took his actions personally as well. So if he was pushing her buttons she might have needed to discipline him. What choices are there? Spank him? No way. Send him to his room? No room to send him to. Stick him in the corner? Ya right, I've seen that one tried at daycare and it doesn't work. Tell him no snack? Well a snack is just that, a snack. Not a main meal of the day, more of a treat. It won't kill him or anything like that although it isn't a punishment you would want to use regularly. You said even if the kids refuse to do something the daycare must still give them a snack. So what incentive is there for these kids to behave? The daycare folks need to have some way of maintaining control with support from the parents. What it sounds like you have done here (I was afraid of doing this when it happened to my kids at daycare) is remove a punishment option from the daycare. They can now no longer withhold 'snacks' from your child to help control him. When this happened to me the discussion didn't stop once the immediate situation was addressed. My next question was; What forms of punishment do you use regularly to maintain control with the kids? At that point I had to determine if those methods were acceptable to me. I then let the Director/Owner know what punishments I found acceptable and even suggested a couple. I did that because I know that to maintain order and control with kids (especially that many) it is crucial to have the ability to discipline the kids if needed. What if someday there is an emergency at the daycare and my kids don't respect and follow the teacher's instructions on a regular basis? Nope, I want those teacher's to have the ability to discipline and maintain control. It sounds like the situation got worked out to your satisfaction and I'm glad to hear that. And, I do understand why you were upset. I'd also question why a routine task your son has never had a problem with before has suddenly become a problem and how you want it resolved in the future. Now the disclaimer: I'm in the middle of raising two kids and I am NOT one of those folks who pops out a kid and writes a book proclaiming themself a child expert. I may be totally off base here. I'll let you know how I did when the kids turn 30 Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Free online games? Posted: 6/22/2007 10:36:33 PM
http://www.netives.com/ Silly simple games, kids love them. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Court to keep kids quiet while playing in pool? Posted: 6/22/2007 10:33:26 PM
Kids will be kids and they do make a fair amount of noise but, we have new neighbors with small girls who like to have screaming matches regularly. I can understand how that would tick someone off and might make them want to shoot the parents. The screaming girls bothered me until the car with the stereo cranked up drove by, then I couldn't hear them anymore. Then the kid down the street took off in his car with no muffler, and I couldn't hear them anymore again. Then the other neighbor cranked up his router in his garage, and I couldn't hear them anymore. Now I know why I have a headache. I'm going camping to get some peace. I hope the birds are quiet up there. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

My sons pre school.... Posted: 6/22/2007 10:27:07 PM
If your daycare is anything like the ones my kids were in (and it sounds like it is from the mention of employee turnover), they are hiring new 'kids' constantly. Young girls usually, anywhere from 16 to 20 yrs old. I think the problem is with training a lot of the time. They just seem to hire these kids (no offense) and throw them into the job so they probably don't have a clue how to properly care for kids let alone what might be considered against the law. I don't know that I would complain to the state right away. I would want to speak to the Director or owner first, preferably with the employee present. Depending on how they responded, then I might file a complaint with the state. I understand your anger but, were it me I would be careful not to let my anger take over in the situation. It could make you look like an overprotective parent at which point they may just console you and not take the complaint seriously. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Smell, odour, attraction, repulsion Posted: 6/20/2007 7:12:04 PM
An interesting thing I noticed. . . . the same perfume on two different women. 1 smelled delicious and I wanted to gobble her up right there, the other I couldn't stand to be near because the smell was so repulsive. I'm guessing the difference was in how their body chemistry reacted to the perfume. Maybe not totally on topic but, close? Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Traditional roles gone??? Posted: 6/18/2007 7:07:26 AM
yesiamcute wrote in support of men doing the pursuing. . . . If you chase him though, and you're not totally hideous, he will probably go out with you because he's flattered, he thinks you might be an easy lay, he's got nothing else going on at the moment, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, etc. - all things which make for a not good relationship if it does carry on for a while. But what makes that any different than saying if a guy chases a woman and he isn't totally hideous she may go out with him just so she can be taken out? (Basically having a nite out in his dime). Or maybe she thinks since he chased her that he will pamper and treat her like a princess, or she is just bored, or she has a hard time saying 'No' ? I think your reasons that women shouldn't chase men work just as well as reasons men shouldn't chase women. I guess someone has to initiate things but maybe mutually showing interest is better than the roles of 'chaser' and 'chasee' ?? That's what makes dating so much fun. . . it is like trying to play a game with your friend but they aren't telling you the rules so you have to guess! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

bucking the system... Posted: 6/17/2007 4:12:39 PM
Nope to the stubborn woman and coming to blows. But, I have a Harley and have had numerous bikes in the past. I live and believe in alternative lifestyles (poly). Believe there is such a thing as acceptable drug use. Know that a large jar of vaseline, a package of toilet paper and a bottle of Tequila is more fun than 4th of July fireworks, and know that my neighbors like my music because once I get it loud enough I don't hear them yelling at me anymore. That isn't rebellion, that's just living life :) Rebellion is when you KNOW what you are doing is wrong and that's WHY you are doing it. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Is he flirting or ?? Posted: 6/17/2007 4:04:28 PM
Darn it, I thought we were just having a friendly staring contest!!!! Oh wait, I wasn't looking at you, I was looking out the window to check on my truck, you were just in my line of sight. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Hitting on a tradeswoman? Posted: 6/17/2007 3:56:02 PM
The toolbelt has nothing to do with it (for me anyway). It is that ever changing definition of 'sexual harrassment' that boils down to. . .If she says she felt harrassed, you are going to lose your job. And if you are really, really lucky that is all you will lose. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Traditional roles gone??? Posted: 6/17/2007 3:48:33 PM
Sure do. But, considering that trying to strike up a conversation with a woman on the commuter train gets you a "Why are you bothering me?" look, and smiling at a woman on the street gets you a "Are you drunk or crazy?" type grimace, and asking a woman out that you don't know well generates a response something like a frosty "I don't think so!", as well as the 'stalking' and 'harrassment' comments above. . . . I don't think that as many men are going to be interested in pursuing women as in days past. My personal theory. . . woman fought for generations to be on equal footing with men. Now that they feel more empowered they are almost anxious to make a guy feel lousy or just plain shoot him down for no reason yet at the same time because they do have that power they expect more and are now dissappointed it isn't magically happening. JMHO Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Adoption Posted: 6/17/2007 7:17:20 AM
When I was younger (20 ish) I had always hoped to adopt a child someday. It hasn't worked out that way in my adult life so far but, you never know. I'm still very open to the idea. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Best to get the kink out up front? Posted: 5/7/2007 6:25:20 PM
Getting some of the 'sex talk' out of the way up front is a good idea in my opinion. Maybe not specifics but, general conversation usually gives you a good idea of where the limits might be. Although, alternative lifestyles where sexual freedom/exploration is more common not only seem to fulfill fantasies but also provide an endless supply of new ones to enjoy. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

The most attractive thing about a girl is...? Posted: 5/7/2007 6:06:19 PM
Someone said 'attitude'. If attitude means sex appeal, I completely agree. A woman who feels and displays 'sexy' is very attractive, no matter her age/race/size/etc. By sexy I mean how she acts, not what she is wearing or, not wearing. Now if he really meant attitude, that is a huge turn off for me. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

why aren't men more open to anal play? Posted: 5/7/2007 8:39:09 AM
What's the big deal? You mean, beside the fact that it can be fun? No big deal beside that. I'm not sure how to get a guy to be more open to it though. Find more open-minded men maybe? I find a lot of women assume all guys dislike it and so they never even ask. And if it was me you were trying to get to open up toward that item of playing around? You'd be looking for another partner the next day. So if you have a position you like and the woman said no way, you would be okay with her dumping you the next day purely over that little issue? What if she likes chicken and you like beef? Splitsville? If you are okay with that, great. But I really wonder if that absolute rule of yours works both ways or just in your favor. Not throwing stones, just curious. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

I dont know what to think Posted: 5/7/2007 8:28:16 AM
Just starting to date and not telling the family, friends, etc. . . I can understand that one and have done it myself. I hate when you are just getting started and it falls apart after you have told everyone, then you get to relive it over and over until everyone is updated. Yuck. But, you said you are now serious, so why hesitate? Sounds like the guy is happy and proud and telling the world. Unless you see something we don't? I'm with a previous post as well. . .why are you hesitating to tell folks? Sometimes, people are real. Clone <---imitation of a real person

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

The Secret to Finding The Perfect Guy? Posted: 5/2/2007 8:40:32 PM
With the few guys available that aren't crazy at my age, there is a line of women fighting for them. (Who wants to fight for someone?) Could you pretty please as your friends for me, where is that line?? I hear the same things from my friends; you have a good job, own your house, don't drink, aren't a nutball etc. so you won't have any problem finding a woman. Yet, it just isn't happening. I know I'm not 'putting myself out there' the way I should were I seriously looking but then again, I have chased before and caught women I wish I had never met. So, I'm slowly resigning myself to enjoying being single. That was a long way of saying, you aren't the only one hearing that kind of thing from your friends. I wish you luck princess, I think with time you will find what you are looking for. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Ooo, I like factor Posted: 5/2/2007 8:29:27 PM
When she has as many computers as I do. She likes to drive. She has pictures of owls. Loves to stare at the moon and/or stars. She still smells good after working in the yard. I can think of a lot of things! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

What's up with ALL the views? Posted: 4/8/2007 8:42:02 PM
1. Yep, I view profiles and never contact them. 2. Why? Because several times I've viewed profiles of people who were obviously not matches (location, etc.) but saw something on their profile I found interesting. So I sent them an e-mail mentioning what I found interesting and that I knew we weren't a match so I wasn't looking for a date, but a conversation instead. Responses varied from none at all to being blocked from further e-mails. So, now I view a lot of profiles but don't bother to send a message. And if I do, I never expect a response so I'm happily surprised if they do. As for them seeing that I viewed their profile and contacting me. . . no problem. I like chatting with folks regardless of whether we would ever date or not. I have some great friends that I would never consider dating Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Do you consider oral sex 'sex'? Posted: 4/8/2007 8:31:14 PM
My definition of sex is anything that results in pregnancy. If no babies are conceived, it wasn't really sex. Now that is funny!! I guess we are going to have to find a new word instead of 'homosexual'. I mean, the word 'sex' is included in 'homosexual' but since they can't get pregnant, they aren't having sex. The porn industry will have to change some things too I guess. Advertising video's of 'girl on girl sex' will have to be changed to. . . . girl on girl foreplay?? Hmmm. Wow, what about cheaters? So the guy tells his wife, "I didn't have sex honey! We just had oral and anal, so I wasn't cheating!" Wait, just got confused again. If we use a condom and she doesn't get pregnant, then did we really have sex?? It didn't result in pregnancy so it wasn't sex, right? Uh-oh, more confusion, invitro-fertilization (I probably spelled that wrong) results in pregnancy so it was sex, right?? Dammit. Just when I thought I understood. Good thread Dolly Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do we expect so much more online? Posted: 4/8/2007 11:27:34 AM
That comment is so small minded. I have friends online and not because i have nothing going on with my life, its for the total opposite reason. I'm with you 110% Petra! I may have hopes when I meet someone offline for the first time. . . .for great friendship, for love, who knows. But, I try to never expect them to be exactly as they describe or to be more than a small adventure in life. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Do you consider oral sex 'sex'? Posted: 4/8/2007 11:07:03 AM
I'd have to vote for it being sex. If it wasn't sex I think you would see a lot more people enjoying it in a lot more public places. Seeing how it is usually followed by traditional intercourse (or proceeded sometimes), I think that helps put it in the context of sex. Heck, sometimes I even view the 'after' cigarette as sex!! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Question.. Posted: 4/8/2007 10:59:06 AM
If you have been yourself in your conversations with him online or on the phone, and he has been as well, the surprises shouldn't be huge. But, for me at least, there still needs to be that spark you only get when meeting face to face. Have faith in what you have put into the relationship so far, and in your judge of character. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Do people actually read your profile??? Posted: 4/7/2007 10:07:15 AM
Yep, I read profiles. Yep, I'm horny. Nope, I haven't contacted you. (I'll try to control myself). Nope, don't send bulk 'Sexvertisements' or 'hate mail' or even bulk 'Hello's' I've heard, though not experienced, that many guys on here talk to women for a while and when they finally get to wanting to meet, the woman backs-off or is a no-show so they stop trying to 'get to know them' and push for meetings right away to try and weed out the 'players'. I agree with some other posts here, if you are attractive you will get e-mail. And with experience you will learn how to weed out the sexaholics. (The ones I'm learning to weed out are: life has been so unfair to me, I'm broke and going to lose my home. Oh, here is a website where you can make donations to my dying son/daughter/whatever.) Best of luck, Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Words every woman wants to hear? Posted: 4/7/2007 9:57:00 AM
Well, since we have the option of answering in the reverse. . . . . had a girlfriend who had issues with my giving her oral. She claimed sensitivity at first but it became obvious she had other issues with it. It made sex difficult since I'm a very oral guy. In the end it didn't work out with sex being a big part of the problem. Sadly, she was happy giving oral anytime and anyplace, so I miss those days! So, her saying no oral isn't a deal-breaker since there should be more to the relationship anyway. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Does thePickup Place say anything about a guy? Posted: 4/7/2007 7:14:18 AM
I don't think the place matters much, if there is eye contact etc. then the guy will probably try to at least strike up a conversation. I've heard women before say a guy tried to pick them up on the bus but, they won't have anything to do with someone who can't even afford a car. But, I use public transportation to commute and have a nice truck and own my own home. I just dislike driving in rush hour. So, within reason, I don't think the place means much. JMHO, Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

The Cookie Posted: 4/5/2007 8:16:37 PM
I'm don't like choking on stray hairs. So, with that in mind, it is the ladies choice how she chooses to groom herself. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Guys crude question! Posted: 4/5/2007 11:54:26 AM
Personal rule #14 - Anything you do with your boobs is fine as long as I'm watching or involved. Permission not required. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

WOULD THIS WORK Posted: 4/4/2007 1:37:04 PM
As a guy who is bad about picking up the phone or texting. . . .don't read to much into it. I'm on the computer enough I'm pretty good about reading/sending e-mails but beyond that I'm not very good about initiating contact. Maybe this guy is the same way? If so and you cut-off initiating contact he will probably contact you, I know I would try harder. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

pretty or beautiful Posted: 4/4/2007 1:30:54 PM
I guess I never really thought about it before. Heck, if they are beautiful/pretty I'm just lucky to get my tongue untied long enough to say hello! Clone

CloneAlone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 187 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/4/2007 10:25:06 AM
MAPT, I agree with everything you said! When I took up issue with the word 'rape' being thrown around it was before the OP had given the rest of the story. It is much clearer now. I do have respect for the ladies here that have spoken up. I actually think we probably all agree more than we think. I have absolutely no compassion for a rapist. The only concern I have, that prompted me to speak up, is the 'rape' label was thrown out almost immediately. Since it seems to be becoming a theory let me say now, I personally haven't been accused of rape by a woman I was dating. I have a couple of friends who were accused by their wives during divorces when it became apparent they were going to lose custody of their children. Both were acquitted. Another was an extended family member, accused several years after the supposed rape, and again acquitted. With each of these men their lives have been changed forever. Although acquitted of the charges (and yes, I mean acquitted, not that the charges were dropped) , almost without exception every woman who finds out they were charged believes they 'got away with it'. Visitation and custody of their children has been a continual nightmare as have many other aspects of their lives. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 185 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/4/2007 7:08:11 AM
Ooli, you could offer the OP the same presumption of innocence you are offering the mystery man I have never said I don't believe the OP, or feel this was her fault, and have in a couple of posts very clearly stated I believe it is his problem not hers. I was simply saying that there was a huge fast jump to 'rape' from the simple question the OP posted, 'Was it me or him?'. I was prompted to take the approach I have because the OP didn't even seem to be viewing what happened as an assault in her original post. I would think someone as violated as I'm hearing you are when raped would have had a much different tone. So I thought I'd like to hear more of the story and entertain other possibilities. Apparently that isn't a good idea here. Sassy, My opinion based on the facts presented was that the OP was raped Thank you, that is exactly my point. You defined what happend to her as rape on the 5th post into the thread after the only 'facts' presented were "I woke up many times with him ****ing me? Also he would always deny that anything happend.." Those are seriously all the 'facts' it takes to define rape?? dysoleray, i'm pretty sure i won't find out someday about rape!! what did you think i was born with crappy odds like you! Aside from that highly intellectual attempt at bashing me, this is exactly why you may become a target, because you think it isn't possible. The next time you are having sex with someone think about how you would go about defending yourself against rape charges the next morning. You had sex with her and won't be able to deny that due to physical evidence so good luck. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Would a man be willing to help a single woman,,,,, Posted: 4/3/2007 7:32:56 PM
Well, Saturday I helped my single female neighbor replace a couple of sections of her fence. Took us about 4 hours and she was right there doing everything she could and asking questions so she understood what we were doing. Her 'thank you' was a nice steak dinner and a soak in the hot tub to help the sore muscles. I try to help my friends if I can, and I'm a lot more willing if they are willing to learn so they can do for themselves the next time. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

kisses on texts Posted: 4/3/2007 6:27:51 PM
You have him hooked, reel him in!! Expect an engagement ring by the end of the summer! Or the X is really close to the SEND button?? Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

What part of EX don't you understand? Posted: 4/3/2007 6:26:22 PM
I don't think 'men' do this, I think this guy is/did for reasons already pointed out. He had a sweet deal with you and he could maintain multiple relationships. No problem. Until you dumped him and he misses the sex. So now he is being nice. Not that confusing! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Faster than I could blink! Posted: 4/3/2007 6:22:57 PM
Please, please never judge a guy by the 'first time' sex. (Or even the second sometimes). We get excited pretty easy with new things. Don't believe me? Check out a guy who gets a new tool at Christmas! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 178 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/3/2007 6:16:51 PM
you should have fine tuned your thoughts towards finding out such missing info Well, if you go back and read my original posting on this thread you will see I asked several questions, posed several scenario's, and quite clearly stated that I believed the guy had problems, not the OP. What I also did was disagree with the 'rape' label without facts, which is what seems to have incited many here and begat quite a lively conversation. I wasn't defending rape, that is ridiculous as well as offensive. I was simply trying to show that judging someone and labeling them a rapist (which is pretty serious as you may find out someday) without having most of the facts or hearing their side of things is pretty unfair. A lot like if I were to summarize from your posts here that you were an insecure wannabe white gangster rapper who solves most of his problems with violence. you chose to prosecute her for an opinion Interesting that you jump to Sassy's defense even though she is here to defend herself (well I might add) but say not a word about the guy accused of rape who isn't here to defend himself. I can guess what your motivation might be. These forums are for sharing opinions, not just the opinion with which the majority agrees. Fortunately there were some here who did understand the point I was trying to make. And again, if you read my posts you will find that I agreed with points made by several other posters. I personally have enjoyed this thread and have learned a great deal about women's feelings toward rape. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Periods: to go there or not? Posted: 4/3/2007 2:12:37 PM
If you are talking oral, no thank you. Now if you are talking 'regular' sex, hell yes. Hop in the shower sweetie and I'm right there with you. Otherwise, can we wait a day or two? Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

attention condom haters.. Posted: 4/3/2007 2:09:42 PM
Don't like them but in this day and age, for a guy, there aren't to many other forms of 1) contraceptive 2)disease protection. They do decrease feeling though and sex just isn't as much fun with rain-gear. Something else I've thought about is, if she is on the pill, how reliable is she? What if she forgot it this morning or just says she is on the pill? A condom or abstinence are about the only ways to protect myself against an unwanted pregnancy. (Yes, I know, condoms aren't 100%, and I could get snipped). So, unless it is a committed relationship, I'm glad to cover up. It is really nice though when the woman pulls some condoms out of her purse and says 'Here, I have my favorites with me!' Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

which woman would you marry? Posted: 4/3/2007 12:33:04 PM
I'd spend the $15,000 on a new motorcycle and marry the woman whose boobs made the best back rest. jumbo mumbo, exactly!!!! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 176 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/3/2007 12:15:30 PM
the situation i was in w the guy i was talking about on this forum was a guy i consentaully tried to have sex w twice months later when there was nothing about sex was when he was caught doing it That was exactly the piece of information missing for me, the context of the situation when he did these things. Thank you. Yes, I agree, it does sound like rape at that point. That doesn't change my opinion one bit though that declaring 'rape' without the facts is absolutely wrong. I'm pretty sure that anyone facing accusations that serious will be glad that the legal systems usually don't convict without at least hearing all the facts and both sides to a story. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 166 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/3/2007 6:44:18 AM
Karibabes, <div class="quote">It was your choice of the phrase unbalanced woman With all due respect, I think you are confused. I searched this entire thread an only found the word 'unbalanced' used 3 times, once by yourself in the post quoted above. The first use was by Ooli in message #150, in which she was referring to 'unbalanced women' who may make false rape accusations. Not women who are unbalanced as a result of rape. The second usage, the one I believe you are attributing to me, is a quote of Ooli's post in my message #153 where I was putting my response to Ooli in context with a quote. I would in no way even suggest that due to rape a woman would become unbalanced or that it might cause her to be an unacceptable mate. Clone P.S. Ooli, you're cute when you 'grrr' . . .

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 162 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/2/2007 9:59:45 PM
^^^^^^^^^^ smith, great points !! I might consider hiring you to write my posts for me. You seem able to say it in a lot fewer words and I do!!! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 161 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/2/2007 9:57:17 PM
Ooli, She came looking for support. Maybe this is where we differ. Part of the OP's original post was Why would someone rather **** someone who is sleeping then awake. Was it me or him. which sounds to me like a question about sexual dysfunction. Not a plea for emotional support or an answer to the question of whether or not she was raped. Maybe I'm wrong in how I interpreted that post (wouldn't be the first time). What got my attention though was that a post that didn't seem to be written by someone anguishing over a physical assault was immediately responded to by posts telling her she was raped and were hostile to any suggestions to the contrary. You said yourself, If the events occurred the way she described them, , and that is my primary point. We don't know a) if we are getting accurate facts and b) if we are getting ALL the facts. At that point in my opinion, the jump to 'rape' is a leap and a serious enough accusation it shouldn't be thrown around lightly. That said, I agree with you completely there is an 'air of truth' to her original post. I would offer what support I could to a man who had been falsely accused of this crime Unfortunately my experience here is that even when proven innocent in a court of law, once accused most people think the guy 'got away with it' and there is no support. Ooli, I can see you have a lot of passion around this for reasons I can't hope to know at this point. I don't think we will ever completely agree with each other but, I'm sincerely enjoying this debate with you and appreciate your desire to try and understand other perspectives as well as communicate in an adult manner without anger or insult. Thank you! Karibabes, I'm not sure what I said that made you think I was attacking you personally but I wasn't. I'm also not 'blaming' the OP for anything. I'm simply wondering what the other side of the story is, that's all. Your story sounds completely different and no, I wouldn't even begin to suggest you weren't raped. I'm not even saying I don't believe the OP was raped. I do find it interesting though that you said Whether we hear his side or not what she described from her perpective was a rape and she needs help to deal with that. when in actuality it was only after she was told by another poster that she was raped did she even begin to sound like she was offended by what had happened. And putting my comment about a man not being 'accused, tried and found guilty' into the context of your situation isn't relative at all. When I said that it was in reference to the stigma that can follow a man after the accusation is made, regardless of if he is proven innocent later. Obviously your attacker falls outside the context of my statement. Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/2/2007 3:06:28 PM
Ooli, Can I ask why you feel a need to defend an anonymous man? Why not? Is it any different than others on this thread defending the OP and yelling 'rape' without the benefit of his side of things? I also don't believe I made any comments regarding the OP's reputation and that was surely not my intent. If they were taken in that manner, I truly apologize. because they are afraid that if they meet some unbalanced woman, she might turn something that was consensual into an accusation of rape. This is exactly what caused me to rise and defend the nameless man being discussed here. Because of the poster who almost immediately at the start of this thread proclaimed him a rapist and from subsequent posts, has absolutely no interest in considering there was any other possibility other than rape. As a man I'm sure I can't even comprehend the psychological damage done to a woman who is raped. But, I also seriously wonder if women understand the amount of damage done to a man who it is even suggested (not accused, tried, and found guilty mind you, simply suggested) is a rapist. I find it amazingly interesting that given the seriousness of making a rape accusation it was done here with very little information. Even more interesting is that any attempt to suggest another explanation beside rape is met with anger, refusal to even entertain an alternative possibility, and personal attacks. (And before I'm crucified, no I'm not pointing the finger at you Ooli, but at a great many of the posters on this thread). if you are selective about who you associate with, curb your tongue and your hands with people you are not already sexually involved with, and check things out with people you are romantically interested in...then you should be safe. If you don't cross the line, you won't get read the riot act. If you ask where the line is, you won't cross it. I respectfully disagree. I know of three men whose soon to be ex-wives accused them of rape at the last minute during their divorces because they realized they were losing custody of their children. It was a last ditch effort to discredit the man and win custody of their children. All 3 will have life-long effects because of those accusations, not to mention the cost of the resulting custody and legal battles. The ex-wives will not. I've also seen stories in the news as I'm sure we all have about false rape accusations. The woman pays the price for false reporting (minor), while the man will have a questionable stigma surrounding his name for a long time (major). Don't get me wrong. If this guy did what it sounds like he did he is trash and deserves everything suggested in this thread, possibly more. But I also believe in the right to defend yourself, and to have your side of a story heard. So when I see someone unfairly being bashed without possibility of a defense, I will lend a hand if I can. Unfortunately there are people in this world who believe they have a right to judge others and once they have done so reality, law, morality etc. don't matter anymore. Good thread, even if we are off topic! Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

sexually and emotionally attracted Posted: 4/2/2007 9:34:58 AM
Women need to feel close to a man to have sex. Men need sex to feel close to a woman. And as mentioned earlier, men seem to separate sex and emotion where as women do not. (And don't let that fool you, sometimes it isn't easy for the guys either). Clone

clonealone

Joined: 7/8/2006

Msg: 147 (view)

Sex while asleep Posted: 4/2/2007 6:57:32 AM
Sassy, I will respectfully exit this conversation with you now as other posters are complaining about it. Just let me say this. . . .I don't necessarily believe in every example or reason presented here, either by other posters or myself. The simple reason I took a stand opposite you is because YOU were the first person to say 'rape' in this thread. (Look, back, I just did). And because the word 'rape' has become so damaging to a man I don't believe it is a word that should be thrown around lightly and without knowing all the facts. Again, YOU are screaming rape here, not the OP. I was unable to find a post where she implies she felt 'raped' by this man. The other reason I took his position is because he is not here to defend himself. It seems you are more than happy to fill in the blanks in this story to suit your need to brand him a rapist. Yet every time I have said I'm not juding either him or the OP, you ignored it. Every 'what if?' I presented such as from my last posting to imagine a scenario wherein they tried to have sex, you ignore or dismiss as not possible. I love hearing others opinions, yours included believe it or not. But I also believe in a balanced perspective and not burning someone at the stake when you can't possibly have any idea what the entire story might be. Clone

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