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Posted In Forum: All Forums Alabama Alaska Alberta Arizona Arkansas Art/Music Ask A Girl Ask A Guy Australia British Columbia Broken Hearts California Colorado Connecticut Dating & Love Advice Dating Experiences Dating Sites Delaware District Of Columbia Event Hosts forum Florida Georgia Hawaii Health & Fitness Humor Idaho Illinois Indiana Introductions Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Manitoba Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Brunswick New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York Newfoundland News/Current Events North Carolina North Dakota Nova Scotia Off Topic Ohio Oklahoma Ontario Oregon Over 30 Over 45 Pennsylvania Plentyoffish Get Togethers Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help Poems And Quotes Politics Prince Edward Island Profile Reviews Quebec Recipes & Cooking Relationships Religion/Supernatural Rhode Island Saskatchewan Science/Philosophy Sex and Dating Single Parents South Carolina South Dakota Sports Stories/creative writing Technology and computers Tennessee Testimonials Texas Uk Forums Utah Vermont Virginia Volunteer Moderators Only Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming Home   login   MyForums   Show ALL Forums      Author  Thread: Are some people meant to be alone forever ?  Angelhelen47 Joined: 7/9/2006 Msg: 43 (view)   Are some people meant to be alone forever ? Posted: 9/20/2006 12:25:35 PM I am alone by choice. I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. It seems if you have had 3 relationships back to back that you are not giving yourself time to heal from the relationship that just broke up. If you don't, you take that baggage and pain into the next relationship. Are you taking your time getting to know these me before you get to deep to fast? Do you know what you want in a man? You have to go inside yourself and find out who you are before you can look for a person to share your life with. Do you know who you are, and what you need to be happy. How can anyone (man) give you what you want if you don't know what you want and need to be happy? Another problem and this is personal knowledge, it takes approximately one and one half years to get really know enough about a person for you to decide if he is a person worthy of you. We as people tend to rush into relationships without taking the time to know what that person is really like. Then we become disappointed when we see a side of them we didn't know about. Having sex to early stops the growth of the relationship. Once you star the sex the expectations change. you expect more because you have invested yourself, your body. If you allow this to happen very early, he loses respect no matter what he may stay. And you have ended the excitement of the chase. This may sound old fashioned, but it works. Another thing to consider is what type of men are you meeting, where are you meeting them? Do they want the same things out of life that you do? That where knowing yourself is very important. Finding someone that is a lot like you eliminates some problems. And finally if you want to know what a person is really like (this applies to anybody) watch how they treat their family and friends, children an people they deal with. Here is where you will see how you will be treated once the newness wears off. Studies have been done showing that people (men and women) put more thought into where they want to live then who they have relationships with. Love, lust does not think about the important things like the personality of the person they are involving themselves with. Angelhelen47  Angelhelen47 Joined: 7/9/2006 Msg: 564 (view)   Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 7/9/2006 2:02:32 PM Dowling sounds like the kind of guy I'd like to meet. I doubt that I will get much action with my ad because I want a friend not a sex partner. Most guys will pass it up but thats okay too, because its going to take a special kind of guy to write to me, based on my profile. But that is my idea, get to know someone before you jump in the bed. Any good relationship is based on trust first and that is earned over time. It is the meat of the relationship. There are many other ingredients needed before a couple gets to the dessert. Too bad I didn't know these things when I was young. At my present age, I find that we , all of us have been through some long term relationships and carry some unwanted baggage. Men included, especially after the first "wrong" woman. It is not only women that become distrustful. Its going to take a lot of trust to move past that baggage. The men and women who are so bitter that they give up, or just go for the sex, and tell themselves they don't care, are missing the best joy in life. True everyone is not worth the time it takes to do that, but you learn how to see past the mask people use to hide the real them. My key is to watch the people around them, friends and family. The way they treat these people is how you will eventually get treated. They have built up patterens of behaviors with these people , they cannot change that on a consistant basis, even if they try. Sorry didn't mean to get on a bandwagon, this is one thing I learned over time. I thought it might be useful to someone else. I saw that with my 2nd husband and married him anyway, it took about 16 - 18 months for him to change towards me as he did to others.Thanks for putting up with me Angelhelen47   Show ALL Forums