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 Author Thread: But the real problem was me! Oh how true!
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
But the real problem was me! Oh how true!
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:37:26 AM
I don't consider myself a relationship wizard, but feel that you made some valid points.



It takes two ... to have either a healthy or a toxic relationship.........





 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Writing Negative Testimonials
Posted: 2/26/2007 2:57:00 AM

I suspect that at least one person who frequesnts these forums have created profiles just to give themselves a few positive testimonials.

They have a few testimonials, but they all say the same thing, just in different order. Its funny as all heck when you can suspect with a high degree of confidence that someone would go that far.



That's hilarious!

And sad ....

But mostly hilarious!
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
male escorts would you use them ladies?
Posted: 2/25/2007 4:02:24 PM
^^ Maybe you should apply, find out the details, and then post the info so that we all know how much you're worth?


 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Being liked by a woman
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:07:52 PM
Dobby87 ... How far back did you have to dig to find this thread?

I'm sure the op has met people since posting this thread, and I hope all's well in his dating life.



 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
is there a right time for a relationship?
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:05:01 PM
^^^ Forums



The "right guy" (if there were such a person) would have to sit in my lap or something equally as in-my-face in order for me to notice. However, if "love" fell from the sky and hit me over the head, I suppose I'd take notice and not deny it.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Mean grandmother??
Posted: 2/25/2007 11:48:25 AM
No offense, but maybe they were too much to handle considering the turmoil in your life as of late. I say that because you said you "lost it", and I really didn't read anything the children did that would warrant that reaction.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Giving up you MSN to your mate
Posted: 2/25/2007 11:23:49 AM
American Men have no nads.


Darn good thing the Op is Canadian then, eh?


 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Giving up you MSN to your mate
Posted: 2/25/2007 11:12:58 AM
Hey you! I think you did more than you needed to.






I wonder if I talked to her? hehe




 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why parents have grey hair..
Posted: 2/25/2007 11:05:04 AM
Great post!

Thanks!

:up:


 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Writing Negative Testimonials
Posted: 2/25/2007 8:40:41 AM
I've never written a negative testimonial, but I have read a few that made me wonder if the person had seen it and decided to keep it there, or whether they hadn't seen it on their profile yet.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
male escorts would you use them ladies?
Posted: 2/24/2007 7:11:05 PM
Well now Ms2! Anyone can just "talk" about it darlin!


I strongly disagree, although I understand that yours is a viewpoint shared by many who have never done it for a living.


Talkin and doing are two very different things.


Absolutely. Same industry, but very different professions.


I happen to think that anyone who pays to get a good talkin to is sad to be quite honest! But to each their own!


I won't discuss this portion in detail because some clients are on this site. I'll just say that I do my best to understand where each of my callers are coming from, and their reasons for calling. Some are easy to understand, and others not so much.

To each their own is right.


I couldn't see paying for any adult service, but I do understand why some do.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
male escorts would you use them ladies?
Posted: 2/24/2007 6:58:27 PM
Personally, I'd never hire an escort.

Although there are some women who pay for services, it's still predominantly men who are paying women in the adult industry.

In fact, it's men who are paying the men too.

I sometimes talk to guys who think it'd be fun to work in the adult industry. I tell them I'd hire them, if they're gay or willing and able to pretend that they are. For some reason I've only ever hired one man, and he never ended up working out. lol

I don't have sex for a living ... I just get paid to talk about it ... hehe ... but this is my opinion based on personal experience in the industry.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
** smokers **
Posted: 2/24/2007 3:28:28 PM
I've used a toaster, but my eyelashes never went near it. I just held the cigarette inside until it was lit. Sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do ... lol.





(It had nothing to do with alcohol consumption, but I wonder what the fact that that's your reasoning says about your friends.)
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/24/2007 3:23:40 PM
One reply mentioned that her excuse was that kid had been sick. Well, if you're kid is sick, be a good parent and stay home


I'd stay home if either of my children were ill before I left.

I'd also answer my cell phone and return home if either of them became ill while I was out.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:57:24 AM

I really think that these incidents are valid for carrying a cell phone,but the topic at hand has gotten waayyyyyyy off track. I never condemned the use of cell phones for your safety reasons


You condemned the use of cell phones in your opening post ...


I think any woman/man that would bring a cell phone into the restaurant with them on a first date is rude,inconsiderate,and is downright out of place in the singles dating world.


... and certainly didn't make any exceptions for safety, children with medical conditions, or any other reason.

Backpeddling?

Or just now getting around to saying that there might indeed be some valid reasons to bring a cell phone that would not automatically make the person rude or inconsiderate?
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I think I met my soulmate but ....
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:51:57 AM
You mentioned that you both suffer from social anxiety disorder, but it seems like you're able to push yourself a little more than he is. Is it possible for you to go to him? Maybe he'd be more comfortable in his own surroundings.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Wouldn't It Be Nice.
Posted: 2/24/2007 7:38:20 AM
I (very) recently dealt with a similar situation. I know we had chemistry, and I know he felt it too. However, for whatever reason, he chose not to 'go with it'. I figure it's his issue ... not mine. He doesn't get to come back and tell me that he has regrets, nor will he have the opportunity to tell me that he feels I'm lacking in any department. I know what I bring to the table, and I know I didn't do anything 'wrong'. I only hope that he gets honest with himself.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/23/2007 5:51:50 PM
I didn't read this entire thread, so I may repeat the opinion of others ...


I know women/or men will make excuses like,"my kids have this and this and they might need to get in contact with me"...sorry,not good enough...you should have taken care business before the date.


Excuse me?

Emergencies cannot be predicted.

My cell phone will be with me if I go on a date, and it will be on in case the babysitter needs to reach me.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Sleep Sex, Are you Affected By This Disorder ?
Posted: 2/22/2007 2:26:12 PM
Oops ... double post
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Sleep Sex, Are you Affected By This Disorder ?
Posted: 2/22/2007 2:25:53 PM
I dated a guy who had this disorder. It was great in some aspects and detrimental in others. Ultimately it was a factor in the demise of the relationship.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Guys: Would U Marry A Lady Who Refused Birth Control?
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:10:25 AM

There's a good option. Get fixed and "forget" to tell her.


I didn't mention anything about "forgetting" to tell anyone anything. Please refrain from putting words in my mouth.


Ms 2 Independent you are so correct. The very reason I had an irreversable vasectomy many years ago. No accidents possible!


Exactly. If people are sure they don't want children they should make sure they don't have them. :)


To Ms2Independent

The point of the thread was if getting "fixed" would be against some belief system you adhered to, what then?


I thought the point of your gender specific thread was to ask men if they'd marry a woman who refused birth control. You didn't mention anything about a belief system, nor did you ask for opinions based on any such thing. I never would've answered your opening post if you had mentioned said refusal being based on "some belief system". I wouldn't know what then, since it isn't against any belief system I adhere to.
However, if you look back in 'your' thread, you'll see that I already gave my point of view. I don't use birth control (besides condoms as previously mentioned) and I haven't had my tubes tied. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who had an issue with that.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Women who won't commit
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:04:52 PM

I have some commitment phobia, but I don't have any of those issues that you listed - my problem (if it really is a problem!) is that I do not like the idea of someone having the right to know what I am doing 24/7, I don't want to be joined at the hip, I don't want to deal with someone throwing a fit if I don't have a lot of spare time now and then, and I like to do as I wish without having to check with someone first. I don't want to know what he's doing all the time - I don't want to be with him every waking minute, and I don't need to talk to him 7 times a day. I also hate all the drama some men seem to like to bring to a relationship - I like to discuss things in a calm and logical manner - I can't stand it when someone wants to just argue and yell and throw things because they're not getting their way. A lot of men just loose all sense of rationality once they've found a partner. And, I'm very stubborn and difficult to live with - why inflict that on someone else? But at the same time, I'd love to meet the guy that I've been looking for. I can't lie and say I'll be perfect from that time on, because that would be totally impossible - but - if he was the right guy, I'd try, he'd try, and then we'd make it work.


Although I'm not really looking, I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for saving me a bunch of typing, nomenome.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Guys: Would U Marry A Lady Who Refused Birth Control?
Posted: 2/18/2007 6:58:53 PM
In the case of people who know they don't want children, I'd assume they'd get "fixed"....
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Happy Year of the Pig!
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:47:54 AM
Yay! I'm a Dragon! So far this year hasn't been great, but here's hoping this comes true.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
children
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:19:32 AM
If there were more options it would complicate it more for the people who have a child who lives with them half the time, as well as for those who have a child who lives with them and one who doesn't.

I think it should be kept as is.

People either have children or they don't.

For those who feel the need to explain further, it should be done in the course of emails, or in their profile.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Guys: Would U Marry A Lady Who Refused Birth Control?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:31:43 AM
I don't use any form of birth control besides condoms.

I also don't have sex only for the purpose of procreating. haha

Assuming I was looking to get married, I wouldn't marry a man who'd have an issue with that.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
children
Posted: 2/18/2007 6:49:33 AM
I think it would get too complicated ...
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
If you had a second chance at a lost love, would you go for it?
Posted: 2/16/2007 3:30:00 PM
Currently debating it myself .... It's a real inward tug-of-war.

I have no advice ... just hoping everything works out the way you hope.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What did you get on Valentine's Day?
Posted: 2/15/2007 6:57:48 AM
I got a ring and a few other things ... I bought them for myself but I'm my Valentine (along with my children of course).

 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Need Advice
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:22:45 PM
Your ex has absolutely no legal responsibility to return your daughter if you let her go there without having a custody order in place.

If I were you I'd tell him that because it's been a while since he and your daughter have visited, you'd feel more comfortable if you all got together and took her to McDonald's or somewhere else she'd enjoy.

That would give him time to visit with her, for you to see how they interact, etc. in a neutral and public setting.

I'd use the time in between those visits to visit a laywer and get things going for custody proceedings.

I understand that it would mean you'd have to spend time in his presence as well, but it would be a sacrifice worth making in order to ensure that your daughter would be safe while she gets to see her dad.

Then, when you have the papers, serve him at the end of the next visit that's supervised by you and continue in court from there.

It would also look better for you in court that way because you'd have demonstrated that you're not keeping them apart, but that you've been making sure that your daughter's been safe at the same time.

Of course this would all depend on his willingness, but if he says no I'd just let him know that you're not comfortable sending her there without a court order in place, and then continue on with the arrangements to get one. He still couldn't say that you never offered anything.

Best case: He agrees and you all have a McHappy time, you go to court and have a court order before she goes to his place.

Worst case: He doesn't agree and you fight it out in court. Another few months of not seeing her father are not going to damage your daughter.

.02
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
~ I wanna sing!!!! ~
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:48:04 AM
Leeanne I totally identify. I've debated taking singing lessons but haven't so far.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Who Was Your First Crush?
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:05:14 AM
His name was Shane Gervais .... he lived in Webbwood, ON. It was long distance, and I used to get nervous and excited whenever I knew that his family was coming to visit. I've often wondered what he's been up to and would love the opportunity to spend some time catching up with him.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Age in friendship
Posted: 2/10/2007 9:36:05 PM
If I knew a 30 yr old man was "hanging out" with a 13 yr old boy I'd have some serious questions about that man.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Was I wrong? What would you do?
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:54:43 PM
You were absolutely right in my opinion. You could very well see his face on the evening news some night and be grateful you listened to your instincts. If not, no harm done. I'd tell him it's time to buy a cell phone.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do you or someone you know have A.C.D.?
Posted: 1/26/2007 1:42:13 PM
I think we all know people who suffer from A.C.D. ... and we probably all suffer from it in someone else's opinion.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
SHWARTZIES
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:32:15 PM
Thanks for the recipe. It sounds like something my children would devour.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 257 (view)
 
What is Your Favorite Soup??
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:31:04 PM
chaylan_2 I'd love to get your recipe for cream of cauliflower ... would you mind emailing it to me?

My favourite soup is Potato Chicken Noodle. It's a really yummy cream soup.
(my ex husband of 9 1/2 years still takes a container full and a spoon for the ride home if he comes by when I've made it ... LOL)

And if we're including stews ... I make an Oven Stew that cooks for 4 hours.
Also very yummy. I sometimes make dumplings with it.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Got any Overpriced consumer goods to gripe about ?
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:13:02 PM
I agree with you about the beef jerky ... it's craziness.

My biggest gripes are with baby items ... diapers, formula, crib, stroller, highchair, swing .... anything 'they' know people are going to buy regardless of the price.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Question about putting him on the birth certificate
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:24:13 AM
Forgot to mention ....

In my case, my lawyer requested the the father be ordered to get life insurance with my daughter as the beneficiary. So, she's covered in that instance as well ... without him being named on her birth certificate.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Thunder Bay .... Please sell your city ...
Posted: 1/15/2007 12:14:48 AM
If PoF alone were to be used as a reference, I don't know how anyone could read the threads or communicate with the fishies from the Thunder Bay area without feeling like there's a special breed of humanity there.


I posted the above not even a month ago. My, how things change.

I'm not trying to rock the proverbial boat, but I'm also not one to kiss ass for the sake of not making a ripple in the pond.

With so much bashing going on, and so many accusations flying, it makes me question attending any Thunder Bay PoF event, and definitely doesn't make me want to host one.

I'm going to stay out of any threads with "Thunder Bay" in the title for a while. They all end up being about the same thing anyway.

To any of you who have emailed me ... feel free to continue (unless I haven't answered the last dozen or more you sent ... in that case there's obviously no point).

To anyone I haven't spoken to ... feel free to email me. (Not about anything to do with other PoF members though, since I don't care to hear about who did or said what to or about who.) There are some of you who have restrictions that prevent me from emailing you.

I was sold on the city and the people. Now.... the area sounds beautiful, and I look forward to meeting a few of you.

Hopefully things will get back to the way they were (or seemed to be?) not so very long ago.

I had so much more typed here, but will just leave it at this...

/rant



Let the bashing begin ...........
(I can take it, and at least it'll be out of the event threads for a while ....)
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Question about putting him on the birth certificate
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:05:38 PM
My youngest was born in North Bay, Ontario....

The father would've had to be at the hospital to sign the paperwork in order to be on the birth certificate. I also went through a paternity test (even though there was no doubt), and my youngest child will not know her father. The father wanted to sign over his rights in order to not pay child support, but it was not an option.

When you go to court, he can agree to you having sole custody, and he can agree to having no access to the child. He will not be able to sign over his rights though, and he will be ordered to pay child support, regardless of what the two of you agree on. (You can choose not to follow the order, but it will be made)

I don't see how adding the father's name to the birth certificate will benefit your son. It would end up being a hassle for you in the future, in my opinion.

When he goes to school you'd have to provide a copy of all court documents, and sign forms relating to whether or not the father can pick the child up, etc, etc. Whereas if there's no father listed, you don't have to worry about those things.

There can also be issues with travel, as was mentioned.

I wouldn't add it if I were you.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Double income families complaining about childcare expenses
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:26:44 PM

these people HAVE an option to choose to stay home with their children where SINGLE PARENTS DON'T have such an option... let alone the luxury of a vacation period. Now I'm not saying that life is harder or eaiser.. I guess it all comes down to where ones priorities lie.


I'm a single parent, and I have whatever options I choose to have.

I work from home and have no daycare costs.

What gets me is when parents who are part of a couple, who have help from family, or whose children go for weekend vists with the other parent, complain about needing a break. Or the people who have their children for a couple of weekends per month and call themselves single parents.

But I do have the option to hire a sitter and go out.

There are pros and cons no matter what our lot in life is. We can always find something to complain about, but we also always have options.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Ever dumped someone cause they sucked in bed?
Posted: 1/13/2007 11:46:10 PM

It seems like low self-esteem can be infectious... his issues really messed her up over the long term.


So true. I knew I had to get out when I realized I was changing, and not for the better.


You can try to help, but sometimes you just have to know when to throw in the towel.


I'd have pitied the guy who tried to help me had I stayed much longer than I did. Honestly. Sorry you dealt with the aftermath ... sorry she stayed .. and sorry her ex couldn't be honest with himself.

(OT) I could have stayed in the relationship (with bad sex or even with no sex) if he had been willing to address the real issues. Like it says in my profile though, I compromise ... but not to the point of compromising myself.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is there such a thing as
Posted: 1/13/2007 8:12:12 PM
I don't feel that there's such a thing as being too picky...

.. Especially if you're looking for a long term relationship.

Forever is a freakin long time to spend with second best, or with someone who's "almost right" for you.

Stick to the standards you have set until...

I believe that if you do, someone will come along who exceeds even your own expectations.



.02
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Bleeding during the first trimester of pregnancy
Posted: 1/13/2007 8:07:41 PM
Many men experience "symptoms".

I'm so happy to know that you're relaxing some now.

Rub that tummy and tell the little one to hang on and fight because their Mommy and Daddy are so anxious to meet them ... when it's time.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Ever dumped someone cause they sucked in bed?
Posted: 1/13/2007 8:03:35 PM
??? A self -esteem issue, or not being able to do it anywhere other than bed?


I've never dumped a man because he could or couldn't perform in a certain room in the house. Does that answer your question?

I would've been quite happy to get off in bed .... LOL

Self esteem issues caused by erectile dysfunction (or perhaps the other way around ... who really knows?) caused him to be ... cruel ....

... and somehow, his issue, (which he had before we were together, and revealed to me at the beginning of our relationship ... a while before we *tried* to have sex), became my fault whenever he was stressed / had a bad day at work / was PO'd at me for some other reason .....

There's only so much one person can do when the other person doesn't want to get to the root of the problems .....
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
singelringen
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:51:27 PM

it is worn to show others that you are proud to be single


You mean like a right hand ring without the diamonds? Is it for cheap singles?
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Ever dumped someone cause they sucked in bed?
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:48:06 PM
I haven't dumped a man because he sucked in bed, but I have dumped someone because of the issues his erectile dysfunction caused outside of the bedroom.
 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Bleeding during the first trimester of pregnancy
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:44:59 PM
I bled almost all the way through my last pregnancy. My youngest was born 6 weeks early and weighed 4lbs 4ozs, but she's an active and healthy 3 year old now.

I know it's really hard, but try not to worry about it too much. Instead, rest and visualize your baby healthy and growing strong.

Congratulations, and best wishes.



 Ms 2 Independent
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Not again!! We used protection!!
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:09:54 AM
I don't hold it against anyone if they choose to abort, but I swear I held my breath through this entire thread, and now I'm in tears after reading



Just wanted to update (again!! I know I'm full of them). I've determined that I am going through with the pregnancy. I don't think I could handle an abortion (pro-choice, but I don't think I could forgive myself). I do also believe everything happens for a reason. I am a great mom and I am fortunate enough to be able to be self-reliant financially, so we are making lemonade out of lemons. I am currently in the process of switching the den to my room so that my former room can be the nursery. I can do this. I have enough love to give and at least my kids will have me and each other.
I will admit I walked through the baby section in Target today and started getting some anxiety, but it's doable and I'm sure it will be immensely rewarding.
Thank you all for your words ( positive and negative) they helped me realize that I can handle this, and I did learn a few valuable lessons in the process (more initiative on BC and I need to figure out why I am attracted to a certain type of "man"...nothing against them, I just need to change the "type" that I like, so I have quite a bit of analyzing to do.)
Anyhoot, thanks again to everyone.



There's a thread kicking around somewhere (probably more than one, actually) in which I've posted my story, so I'm sure some may feel that I'm about to be a broken record ... but ....

I'm a single mother. When I found out I was pregnant with my youngest child it was the ultimate shock. I had been drugged and raped, and at the time I didn't even remember "the act". Almost everyone around me was suggesting that I have an abortion, and I can understand why.

The day I found out I was pregnant, though, my oldest came home from daycare and said to me, "Mom, do you know what I was doing today?" I told her I didn't and asked what she had been doing. She said, "I was picking the petals off of flowers and blowing them into the wind, and everytime I blew the petals I was making a wish that my Mommy would have a baby in her tummy."

In my heart I already felt that going through with the pregnancy was the best choice for me, (despite the fact that I had been told that although I might get pregnant again I would never carry another baby to term), but that was all the confirmation I needed.

Because people in the town I lived in at the time didn't know details, I dealt with all of the negativity that has been displayed here. I was (obviously ... haha) a slut who didn't know who her baby's daddy was. The doctor's were right ... I didn't carry to term. My little one is a fighter though, and now I'm the woman who has two children by two different fathers; one of whom has no father figure.

People wonder, and some ask questions (more when my youngest was an infant) ... but none of that matters. Your anxiety is totally normal, but as you said, it's not only doable but it's immensely rewarding too.

Congratulations to you and to your son. I'm sure he'll be the best big brother ever. =)

If you ever feel like chatting about things ... pregnancy, parenting, or otherwise, I have no restrictions on my profile.

P.S. My oldest made a book (consisting of blank paper, plastic sleeves and a binder) for the new baby. She drew pictures and wrote explanations on each page to show the things that she was going to teach the new baby. It's treasured and I can't wait until the day my now 3 year old understands the love that went into that book.

Just an idea I thought I'd toss in in case you're looking for ways to make your oldest feel included, needed and valued in the process.
 
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