Band spank'n new photos chat & forums.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Band spank'n new photos Posted: 9/30/2007 9:55:06 PM
Note: 'Band' is a typo. my pictures have nothing to do with bands. Thank you. :P

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Band spank'n new photos Posted: 9/30/2007 9:53:45 PM
I've tweaked my profile just a little bit, but also added new photos, taken today. The only old one I left up is the one with the cat on my head, otherwise the other three are current. before I was told that the photos I had up did not present me well, so now I would like opinions on my complete, revised profile with photos. Thanks

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

CLEARING IT UP.. SERIOUSLY Posted: 9/22/2007 8:10:08 AM
Hey True Beauty, Went to college at U or R, I know what you are talkin' about! Philly is even worse. Babymammadrama (or Babydaddydrama) does seem to be a bit more problematic out on the East coast. Good luck out there, have a Tahou's plate for me would ya? puts his Topic Hat back on Well, as OP suggested, I am going to ask what led to being a single mom? I could hazard an uneducated guess that a lot of the time it was either a young father who bolted or perhaps an abusive man, but I really don't know.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

CLEARING IT UP.. SERIOUSLY Posted: 9/22/2007 1:33:24 AM
Granted you did qualify that not all are shallow, but I'd like to add my $0.02 I am not ready to have kids yet. Mine, someone else's, just not ready. I have come across a few profiles with gorgeous young women who sound like they would be knock down drag out fun, but it is the kids that halts me. I would absolutely love to be a Dad one day, just not now. Single mothers are awesome, hell, I was raised by one (but fortunate enough to have Pop be caring and involved). But I do think it takes an exceptional man to be true to himself and the woman he is with when there is a child involved. I'm a great guy, and I know I have the potential to be exceptional, but I'm a little too green on the vine just yet. Normally I argue strongly against being discounted because I am young, and fear in relationships (the ultimate relationship killer). As much as it grieves me to admit it, perhaps in this case I am a little afraid and not yet mature enough to handle dating a single mother. There is a difference between mature but unready and immature and shallow though. Just wanted to speak up for the "not all of them" crowd.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/20/2007 12:01:33 PM
Well, the immature poster that uses rude abusive insults is certainly another type. I never claimed my list was definitive. I belive another poster a few posts up identified some useful ones as well. But as I said, excuse the gentle ribbing. A forum like this is nothing to get overly excited about, and I fear the number of punctuation marks in that last post might indicate unhealthy blood pressure. Of course, not being medically trained in the least, my statement is utterly rediculous. I give no worse then I get, though what I give may be long winded and a bit too wordy. While I don't recall any insults or actual misquotes, I will accept that my word play may have been upsetting. This has ben a good exercise in various types of posts though, so thank you for that. And to all of you out there in reader-land, thjough I may use florid language and say things with more words that the idea expressly need to be explained, please do not take this as me lording some sort of superiority over anyone else. I don't claim to be better than anyone, nor once have I made a value judgement about whether a type of poster is good or bad. I simply like to write in complicated language because its fun and exploare ideas becuase its fun. Now Leeanne, I wouldn't mind discussing the various theories of personality that have been put forth and either affirmed or negated by the psychological community, but I'll need ot bone up on my hard facts as I have forgotten some names, dates, etc. I'd be happy to look at your sources though so I can discuss the issue with both sides in my mind. And Gunner, thanks to you I am thinking about the subject of confidence - I know it has problably been done to death here, but I wonder if I could find a fresh way to talk about it. The next increadibly long opening post I make may be partially your fault! again, gentle kidding folks, if I was being anything but playful I think you would be able to recognize it.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/19/2007 7:11:15 PM
Btw, one of said malcontents linked me to this site: http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm Review at your leisure/peril. It is funny to know I'm not the only one who has spent time on this. I also fully invite you to see which one fits you, and take pot shots at which one I am

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/19/2007 7:10:40 PM
Ah Leeanne. Not all things need to have points to be enjoyable. In fact, I am a big fan in curves; in women and discussion. And the varying degrees of personality have not taken Eons to decipher, after all the field of Psychology is relatively young and has much valuable information on the subject; though thats not to say anything has really been definitively deciphered. My opinions are of course subjective, and I am pleased that you recognize this. I even included a disclaimer that this is opinion in my opening post to help prevent any confusion. While I would have chosen the word "refuted" I am glad that you agree that these are open for debate and discussion. The pursuit of knowledge is endless, and it is though debate and discussion, such as your own contributions, that we can better understand the world. For this to be any kind of real psych study I would have to find some personality tests and write up a thesis. Then it would have to go through formal testing, peer review, replication etc, and that really WOULD cut into my dating time. While I did think the world was over analyzed, perhaps even too over analyzed, I'd never dreamed it had gotten way too over-analyzed. I think you may be right, and shudder to imagine a world that has been way-too-far-over-over-analyzed! Please excuse the snark good readers, it was meant as gentle ribbing. I have far too many friends who were English majors, storytellers, forum admins, or charismatic jerks, and I fear it may have corrupted me.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/19/2007 2:30:09 PM
Thanks for the replies to the topic folks. Don't worry ReachMe, my own friends look at me a bit askew sometimes because of some of the thoughts and observations that come tumbling from my nogg'n! Between my natural affinity for figuring people out and a psych degree this little analysis diddn't actually take too much time or thought; it has been kind of compiling automatically in the back of my head as I have read various posts throughout the forums. Why? Well, because like I said it is almost automatic in my head, and because it is fun for me (although often aggrivating for others). I really enjoy puzzling out how people think, in fact, I think people in general would benefit from being a little more aware of how those they interact with think and what makes them belive, day, and do the things they do. Rest assured as well, it is only my productivity at my current tast at work that takes a backseat to philosophy, not the ongoing search for a lucky lady to give me something better to think about. Me? I'd like to think I am an HP. I fear I problably fall into the YP catagory more often than I'd like, mostly when another YP has entered into the debate. I do still wonder what drives BP and OP (which ought to be renamed OWP; I diddn't realize OP already stood for Original Poster) to post the way they do. Frustration? Bitterness? We havn't really heard form any yet... Anyway, I am glad some of you folks are enjoying this thread. Well, at least I hope you are. I think I may have created a monster with the whole FP thing though... the icons...they're everywhere... oh, and sorry about the long winded posts. I know they are longer than usual posts around here. Perhaps you could consider the resulting eye strain as endurance training.....

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

girl, don't get your hopes up... Posted: 9/18/2007 2:57:33 PM
The stunning lady in the post above is on the right track. People are so busy either looking for a certain thing, or disqualifing because of a certain thing that they pass over others who might be perfect. For this site, and for dating in general, sort by attraction. Does this person appear interesting to your eyes? Secondly, do you enjoy talking to them (mind you, you need to actually communicae for this second step to work) Everything else will come out in the wash, and its not like you are going to marry them after a date or two. And if you are using the notion that you don't want to waste time by not going out with people who don't meet this or that criteria, then you are wasting time sorting rather than finding. The kind of frustrating thing about the very mention of 'shining armor' is that growing up I heard a constant litany of wishes to find a nice guy, or how there arn't any gentleman left. When any person reciting such a mantra was asked about close friends who fit that mold, thery inevitably had at least one, who they were not attracted to because they were just 'a friend'. That is something I don't quite understand. Now, aside from the person absolutly not sparking your attraction to them physically, how could someone pass up a person who fits all thier desires, wants them, and cares about them? Most of the time I have found that the complaiing party was one of the following A) afraid of loosing the freindship B) diddnt feel the other person was interesting enough in some way C) just diddn't feel any chemestry/ physical attraction. Now this is soley my opinion, but only one of those reasons is a reason at all. A shows that the friendship must not be that strong after all, and B shows they are unwilling to invest in something to make a better future. C...well, sometimes a guy is just outta luck. and thats my rant.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 447 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 9/18/2007 12:57:41 PM
insecurity is a part of one's self just as much as confidence, arrogance, etc. People seem to be touting 'your true self' as the shining product that is left after all negative things are taken away. A person is made of positive and negative features, the interplay of which is what makes them interesting. As for confidence ..it is a learned attribute for both positive and negative, not inate. In Psychology a person can become crippled if the feedback from the world tells them they are not able to affect an outcome. Similarly, people use positive feedback to gauge thier competence. If you better yourself by emulating confident behavior then you will grow into the behavior you emulate. IE 'you' and the 'technique' become one. Many of th ebest PUA's had to learn the hard way and through observation. Internet reaserch is condensed observation. If for some reason you have had something damage your confidence, rebuild it. For those who say not to, I suggest next time you break a limb, go without PT or a cast and just be yourself. I am sure you will be stronger for it...if the limb heals, but those who accept help will become stronger more quickly.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Dating a guy who is going through a hard time. Posted: 9/18/2007 12:27:32 PM
Good god he has it rough. I can't say that I've ever had it that bad, but I have gone through what was a very hard time form me a few years back. At that point in time, my girlfriend, who was in another city in the same state as I, was the ONLY positive thing I had. My friends and family were all out of state, and virtually every waking moment brought more bad news. The fact that she really wasn't there for me emotinally is what ended up killing the relationship. All I need was to know one person had my back. For you, ask yourself this: If you two are ready for a relationship this aside, do you think it would turn serious one day? Like marriage serious? The vows typically contain somethign about for better or worse. If you think you do have something for this man, be there for him, don't distance yourself. Consider this the first challenge your relationshp has had, and know that there will be more. As for the sex, remember that men think about sex differently. Right now he is feeling cut off from everything and assualted on all sides. He is problably painfully tense inside. Sex might mean both that someone does care for him and that he can relax if only for a few moments. Bottom line: if this problem in his life diddn't exst, would you still resist an emotional progression in the relationship? If yes, than you might need to really consider what you both want present situation aside. If no, don't let life foil love. And yes, he is reaching out for a lifeline. That is not a bad thing. The trick is that once the crisis is done he should stand on his own two feet again.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/18/2007 11:39:23 AM
Brilliant response! Thank you. That sounds close to how I post as well, though if I've had a bad day I try hard not to take it out in an abrasive post - though I'm only human, I'm sure I've been mean before. In fact, three folks out of ninety-something would seem to think I am being unkind. I encourage anyone who votes for deletion to go ahead and speak your mind on why you found this topic objectionable. I promise you won't get a nasty response from me. Now, I'm gonna bet the vast majority of people fall into one category of post or another at some point, depending on factors that Mrs. kloof mentioned, but I wonder what baits someone into being aggressive (BP), unyeilding (OP) or silly/irreverant (FP)?

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/18/2007 11:16:19 AM
Hey Biggie! Ok, good! We are getting somewhere. You don't neccisarily have to know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I don't either (This is not one of those times, just for clarification, I'm just sayingI confuse me every once in a while too) So your posts vary depending on what you are responding to. Can you provide an example of a trigger that might cause you to react one way or another? Are you more inclined to be one way over another? Remember, ever post this discusssion goes on provides more interesting things to read and learn...and helps me goof off for a few more moments.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/18/2007 11:12:02 AM
Nah, not nearly enough smiley icons. Perhaps mild one-liners should get thier own group? But yes, I have far too much time. Doing some data entry. If I don,t take a break so often I can feel my eyes begin to melt. Seriously folks, some feedback here. Saying I'm right is great. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong too! Call me a mango-eating son of a rather unpleasant peasant woman with bad teeth! Just don't lurk. To clairify, because I spy, with my little eye, a vote for deletion! This isn't to be mean or bash anyone, each type of poster has their place in keeping the thread interesting. After all, what would a good discussion be without some rabble rousers in the crowd? I just want to discuss why folks post the way they do. What makes them think that way? What are they trying to accomplish by making a post like that? And most importantly, what does any of that mean to you - the one browsing for Mr. or Mrs. Right or Right Now? Look, I'll even include another smiley to make it all seem less threatening:

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Hardliners and open minds Posted: 9/18/2007 10:30:48 AM
Howdy folks. Understanding what motivates certain behaviors and attitudes can help us better choose who to date and how to handle those we do have a connection with. I’ve noticed while perusing the forums and reading on this or that topic, that there appears to be a few distinctive “types” of people based on their posts. My work and interest lies in the field of Psychology, so I found it to be a bit of fun to speculate at what is behind these types. I’d like the forum’s input on this as well. I will list what I have seen so far. What I would like is to hear opinions on why someone might post this way, and if there any other types or subtypes people have noticed and how that might reveal the poster’s personality. Also, should we take into account the difference between one’s personality online vs real life? This is what I’ve come across: The Flippant Poster (FP): Their posts usually only shallowly address the topic in the thread, often are only a few sentences long, and also tend to be riddled with smiley faces of different sorts. The opinions they express are strong, but never followed up by much, if any, reasoning or explanation. Often also inflammatory. The Helpful Poster (HP): Whether long, detailed, and thought out, or only a paragraph, these posters seem to honestly tackle the issue with reason, or their own explained opinion and experience. Usually polite and conversational in tone. The ‘Yes-but’ Poster (YP): Addresses the topic, and is similar to The Helpful Poster, but is stuck on their own opinion. They are repetitive, and circle around a central point they try to tie everything into. The key difference between this and The Helpful Poster is that Helpful seeks to illuminate and explain an issue, ‘Yes-but’ seeks to push their own point of view. It isn’t unusual for a post to vacillate from one to the other and between. The Braggart Poster (BP): Much like the Flippant Poster, but fills their post with self praise or tries to put down another as inferior. They may address the thread topic better than Flippant, but it is still only a shallow treatment. The ‘Open for Business’ Poster (OBP): Seen often in “Why do/don’t men/women _____” threads. They state that they do whatever behavior is being complained about not being done or vice versa. There may also be some thought out relevant material following it, but the signature of this post is “I always/never do/ don’t do” etc. These posts seem to trail on the heels of One-ways a lot, but may be found throughout the thread, reassuring the Complainants that there is an exception to whatever trend in behavior is being discussed. The One-way Poster (OP): There is only one way, their way. Phrases like “Too Bad”, “Get used to it” “That’s how it is” and references to how their opinion is “Reality” stud these posts like mushrooms on a log. Sometimes there are explanations of these opinions, often there are not. Similar to Braggart in that the post is also often disparaging or negative towards the Complainants in the thread. These posters make broad generalizations (much like I am broadly generalizing types of posters here, but worse) and will claim to not be interested in people based on hard statistics such as age or looks. They very rarely make any exception to their rules, and usually do not engage in lengthy debates on the topic. The Complainant Poster (CP): Often the starter of “Why do Men/Women …” threads, and lament some sort of behavior they have experienced from those they are attempting to pursue. The posters can range from asking a simple question to slightly whiny/bitter in their posts. May also include a proposed solution to whatever problem is at hand. I typical thread might look like this: CP: Why don’t people do X OP: That’s the way it is, get used to it. FP: Yeah! Go do Y! OBP: I do X HP: Here are some reasons this might happen BP: Only losers worry about X, good things happen to me all the time. OP: Reality check, I never do X and no one else does, get the hint! HP: Well, there are exceptions, and here is why. Consider this? YP: No, things are this way because of Z HP: What about Q? YP: No, things are this way because of Z OBP: I do Q YP: No, things are this way because of Z And so on… Some last observations: HP, YP, OBP, and sometimes CP are usually polite and calm in their posts. OP, BP, FP, and sometimes CP are usually abrasive and aggressive in their posts. So, what do ya’ll think? What kinds of dating experiences lead to these types? Anyone match a type here who would like to speak from experience? Does this really offer a good window into their personality, or is it a front to/valve for their emotional expression? Better dating through Psych geekery, Cheshire. P.S. This is opinion, so I could be mistaken – no matter how remote the chances of that are (j/k (or am I?)) If you think I am incorrect, please do your best to show me what and why you think.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

If the local men and women arn't working out for ya.... Posted: 9/13/2007 3:15:02 PM
consider non-locals? Lets go ahead and assume there is some sort of strange local social phenomenon that makes the natives here difficult to approach (weather or not this is strictly true is not the point, I am just using this as a point to work from) Would other non-locals think about specifically seeking transplants in hopes of avoiding the dreaded and legendary SEATTLE FREEZE!!! que spooky music ? Unless you explicitly state it in your porfile, there isn't much of a way to tell where someone's point of origen is. My Big Point is this: You folk who are striking out with the born & bread Washingtonians, just put a little burb here telling were you originally ccalled home. Perhaps within this subset of people there will be more luck in finding non-skittish personalities. I'll even go first. Texas. Also let me know if you think this idea is brilliant, insane, toatal carp (intentionall misspelling) or some mixture of the three.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

successful couples views of Seattle "nICE" Posted: 9/13/2007 3:06:38 PM
Two part question: Any couples in Seattle or the surrounding area who met on POF want to share thier stories? -and- There is a lot of discussion on how it is difficult to meet men and women here becuase of a number of factors, most notoriously the apparent tendancy of natives to avoid allowing people to connect to them. That in mind I would ESPECIALLY like to hear from native seattle/washington men and women who are in or have had very successful relationships on what it was that took them from an aquaintance to a relationship.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 93 (view)

Women In Seattle Posted: 9/13/2007 10:34:59 AM
Now I'm a tender young transplant, only been here two months, but so far folk have been very nice to me. Admittadly, I havn't really gotten out into the scene yet, but I have been on a few successful dates (by which I mean I had fun, andf I think she had fun, not that we messed around) and even a second date. I've lived on the east coast (Rochester NY for 4years, Philly PA for 1) and was raised mostly in Texas. Now, SeattleArtist, I did not at all have the same experiance you have had with Texas women. The ones I was out with were sweet and active, if a bit conservative. If we had a disagreement, most of the time we could simply let it go. They only got cross if I pressed the issue. Easterners to me have seemed largely shallow and unfriendly. a la 'I don't know you and I don't want to know you.' I have yet to really solidify an opinion on northwesterners, but I have been told by a recently made native friend that part of the key to defeating the so called freeze is to bring warmth and openess. According to some opinions I have heard, Seattlites prefer fresh meat so to speak. Now one thing I have kind of noticed is a lot of folks who have not been very well traveled, and have pretty thin skin. I'm with DarkRomeo on this one. I am not nessisarily as direct, but I do tend to be intense. That is one thing I worry about. Between me and the crowd I run with, a girl cannot be delicate or reserved. In fact, the more aggressive and bold she is, the more likely we will be to adopt her into the fold. Its kind of funny to think a city that is so overwhelmingly sex positive and out there would have a deficiency of lusty (using this in the general thirst for life way, as well as the sexual context) , agressive, driven people. -another semi-aimless rambling brought to you by boredom at work

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Are there any WA Ladies without kids??? Posted: 9/13/2007 7:56:30 AM
Curious. I have also heard that Seattle is something of a singles mecca. I'll admit, kids put me off. If I am just going for a fling with a gal, then it doesn't matter, but for anything long term... I'm just not prepared for that kind of history and responsibility at my age. The really frustrating thing is I get along better with women who are a couple or more years older than me. Always have. This unfortunately seems to greatly up the chances that they have kids. As far as other aspects go I'm a bit stuck too - the traits of a woman I want seem to be rare in the combination I desire, including physical. Simply put, I am a man trying to slim down just a bit to stay at a decent state of fitness. I am looking for a partner about the same. No offense intended to BBW's, god knows I have had know some who were knockouts, but anything more than what I have to contend with, an extra 20-30 pounds, is a bit too much for me now. It seems that finding a reasonably fit, single, childless women between 25-30 is a tall order indeed. On this site certainly, I pray not at large in the city.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 209 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 9/13/2007 7:36:01 AM
Hi folks, I'm Benjamin, 24, and I just arrived here two months ago after having lived in Philadelphia for a year. Let me just say - no comparison, Seattle is a paradise.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Is this true? Posted: 9/12/2007 3:58:46 PM
yes and no. I know, its not a satisfing answer. Suppose a situation with a couple in a room full of supermodels / playboy bunnies / etc. A man's fidelity could go a number of ways: Perhaps he has problems with attachment and is not strongly bonded to his mate, and pursues other options. Perhaps he was taught early on to place strong emphasis on fidelity, and it is hardwired by his upbringing, so he won't even if he wants to. Ther eis no real pat answer, but I will say this: It is difficult to be hungry when you are full. It has been my experiance that when I am truely satisfied in a relationship, other women almost dissappear as sexual beings to me. To put it another way, if a man is only as faithful as his options, make sure you are his best option.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Question posed to me today...your thoughts please Posted: 9/12/2007 3:52:03 PM
For me it comes down to hungers. If I am not hungry for sex at the moment, say do to feeling off myself physically, or if my hunger had been previously and thoroughly sated not too long before, I do feel a different kind of appetite. Have you ever felt the need to hold and touch someone, to soak in their body heat and smell? There have been many a time that I have curled around a woman, content in her presence, without the immediate desire for sex. I will admit it is a bit difficult to separate the two, but there certainly have been times when I experienced the feelings independently.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Anyone feel like rating? Posted: 9/12/2007 9:47:39 AM
Hey bro, hows the weather? Went to school at UofR myself. Good start! The general consensus I get here is that more photos=good, especially body shots. I suggest one of you with your band or working on your car as it illustrates what you like to do. Perhaps expand your description of yourself, tell women what you like about music and cars, why it is something you spend time on. Expand on the snowboarding bit, you're athletic, thats a good quality so spend some time on it. Also tell a bit about who you are looking for. A girl might develop a better connection if she sees you list a trait that she has. You might also play up the whole 'rockstar' angle. Perhaps a sample of the lyrics of your favorite song your band does. All just suggestions. I like the part about being scared of roller coasters, it opens you up a little. Go have a Tahou's plate for me, Take care.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Been a while Posted: 9/12/2007 9:37:59 AM
Thanks again. I will certianly begin puttign myself out there. I think I'll also return the favor by posting some reviews to other folks profiles A third opinion from the audience would be helpful. Critisicm as welcome as compliments.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Been a while Posted: 9/11/2007 11:45:45 PM
Thank you very much. I actually enjoy writing quite a bit. The lazy Sunday thing was something I thought about for a moment. Yes its a bit forward, but than again I am looking for a woman who is going to be adventurous. I mean it as an indication that when I am in a physical relationship, I want a partner who is not held down by many inhibitions or is willing to work on them. Ladies, any thoughts? How does that sentence about getting wild on a Sunday morning strike you? Can I word the sentiment better? Thank you all for taking the time to look and comment, I appreciate it.

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Been a while Posted: 9/11/2007 10:48:52 PM
Your opinion seemed about right. Luckily I have a good friend who is a photographer and is willing to work on me. I've re-written my profile, could you take another look? Also, anybody else out there care to say anything?

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Been a while Posted: 9/11/2007 5:41:16 PM
...since I was on. Changed my profile a bit, and would appriciate some feedback. I know I need better pictures, and more current ones as well, but I am a bit camera-shy(runs in the family) . Any suggestions on that?

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 442 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 9/11/2007 5:19:03 PM
This has been one of the most enjoyable threads I have read in a long time. The interplay of good advice, ignorance, opinion and even a little philosophy is great. Let me set some points about myself first: I have only read a few of DD's newsletters. I can get dates when I get out there and apply myself. I DO have some insecurities and confidence issues, but not in all areas of life or even dating. That said, I'm gonna single some folks out. Simply Peachy - You are cute and seem to have a sense of humor. Whether your posts were made seriously or satirically, reading them was fun (but not terribly helpful) Makingupaname - Your posts were a delight to read. Considerate and well thought out. Thank you. Jarbarian - You do tend to beat a dead horse in your arguments, but I can see where you are coming from. Now, speaking as someone who is still becoming learned in psychology, I disagree with a few fundamental things you say- Yes, confidence and insecurity are big issues, especially in the male mind, and yes if you try to mask them most women will be able to see through you. No, seeking DD's or anyone else’s advice does not mean you need to come see a shrink. If DD helps you get a number, or even a nice date, then that will automatically help buoy your confidence, even if it is just one g-rated date. And, it is not only possible, but likely that a man has enough confidence in himself to keep a relationship going once it’s started, but not have the confidence to start one. I agree though that if a man is so badly insecure that he would not be able to maintain a relationship with a woman who is genuinely interested, DD's advice probably won't help much. However, I don't think this to be the case with most, and does not warrant such strong emphasis on not 'putting the cart before the horse'. There is nothing wrong with a crutch. A crutch is a device intended to help someone move about while they mend, and meant to be discarded once they are better. DD is meant to assist men in the dating world until they understand their own behaviors and women's reactions to them, then they can ditch *** & funny for whatever style they like best, if even they went with that style at all in the first place. As for relationships, that is entirely unrelated to dating. Period. If you are having problems with relationships, see a different guru. If it is a serious problem, seek a counselor. DD is for getting things started only; the most you would need to say about relationships is that he will not prepare you for them if you are unready in the first place. Also keep in mind that traditional monogamous relationships aren’t the only ones. Some people do honestly prefer just dating around, or keeping things casual. There really is little need to constantly harp on DD's reported lack of relationship oriented material. And now, some of the sentiments expressed here that have made me grin: Be yourself ....unless yourself is insecure, then change yourself. Be confident. No, no, don't try to use anything that might help you gain confidence, just be it. Right now. Go on, do it. Because I have a philosophical difference with what I have read or heard about, or worse, misunderstand it, I will now call it evil/wrong/ineffective/ etc. No, I don't want to discuss why I think the way I think, I just do. To men in general: Treat women with respect and don’t lie, etc etc etc. Realize however, you WILL at times in your life, even by the one you love, be disrespected, lied to, and be the recipient of irrational behavior. This is basic human behavior. You will need to learn to cope. Try your best to learn how women work, and while you may need to employ 'tricks' to live with them, do it as one who wishes to stay with your loved one out of love, not as one seeking to use another for their own gain alone. To women in general: Yes, the ideal is to be honest and genuine. Please try to stick to that for us. Women can be as shallow and manipulative as men. That said, sometimes even loving, intelligent, good men and women can behave in ways that are senseless. If you meet a man who is insecure - cherish him, he is being himself. If you meet a man who is *** and creepy - be kind to him because he is either trying to become better and hasn't gotten it, or is suffering worse than the insecure man. And if you find your perfect man - keep in mind he probably wasn't always perfect. He was probably once insecure, and once a creep, and has had to mature. Basically, I know that people have biases, preferences, and attitudes that screen out some mates that would be perfect for them. I have them too. Getting past these automatic, superficial defenses is not wrong, because once I have started chatting up a girl and we actually have the opportunity to have a real conversation we can decide with more informed opinions. From what I have read of all the posts the sum is this: DD is an ice breaker, not a conversation. DD is a date (or couple of dates), not a relationship (if this is a double post, sorry, my browser is acting up)

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

condoms Posted: 10/30/2006 7:28:37 PM
That could likely be a couple of things Kendra. Perhaps you are allergic to Latex, or spermicide. And, if the condom isn't lubricated and niether are you, it is going to hurt. You ought to do a little research on yourself and see if it is an allergic reation thats got you down. Pulling out is not such a hot idea. It dosn't protect you from anything really, as a small amount of sperm can still be transmitted during sex before the guy ejaculates, and there is no barrier for disease. As to the ealier question about types? Heres a breakdown of my experiances so far: Lambskin : stinky, feels ok, not good for protection vs STDs Polyurethane: 'crinkly' feeling, kind of odd. Possible problems with staying on/ irritating your partner. Otherwise not bad. Latex: Trojan: reliable, bad smell, poor sensation. Durex: reliable, bad smell, much improved sensation. Lifestyles: unreliable* (I've heard a lot of horror stories. Never tried them myself) Beyond 7: reliable, no smell, excellent sensation (for a condom) ((I've turned on a number of my friends, male and female singles and couples onto this brand and they all love it.)) I've had no experiance with the female condom either. Just my 20 cents. and, for the record, there is a sensation difference, but with the right partner it can still be a helluva good time!!

Joined: 7/10/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Better, faster, stronger... Posted: 10/9/2006 8:17:47 PM
are some of the lyrics ina song I like. While I listen to said song,could you fine folks take a look at and critque my profile? All constructive criticism is welcome (i.e. if you don't like somehting, please suggest a change) Thanks y'all!