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stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

How do you define success for men and women Posted: 11/20/2009 5:35:45 PM
^^^^ I agree with everything you wrote above. It's just I set the bar for myself very low some years back. And have been a "success" and c0cky about it ever sense. ;-P

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

How do you define success for men and women Posted: 11/19/2009 10:12:29 PM
1) kids healthy and happy. 2) S.O. healthy and happy. 3) me..healthy ...and if 1 and 2 is good I'm happy as well. Everything else is filler.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

Why Plenty of Fish? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:39:41 PM
I have been on other sites. Some I may still be, though I haven't checked em. I had the best time in POF. Better selection of friendlier girls. Tons of fun in the forums. Met my girl here. (bout 5th one in a row, but I'm keeping this one) So POF has been a blast. I have blocked two women. Both bluntly wanted sex and insulted me when I refused. I mean I am a guy and do like sex. But I'm not a piece of net meat. Got some standards. Damn few, but some.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Job Satisfaction Posted: 11/19/2009 8:34:01 PM
I like my job. wished it paid more. But it's in Tech manufacturing, so I'm lucky I get paid at all. I work nights. and that used to bother me. But not any more. Got used to it. I do everything daytime. Stores or wherever I go is barren of people as they are all at work. My girl doesn't mind. so that's good too. some nights, like now, it is very slow. So I surf here. I'm paid to be here in case something comes up. whether I actually work or not. So it can be a creampuff job. I'm sure the bosses have thought about letting me go due to lack of work. But then they'd just have to hire someone else. (in case something came up). And no one else likes these hours. So I'm in like aces.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Ok, let me have it. Posted: 11/19/2009 7:55:49 PM
No need to worry. Your profile is OK. Not great, but nothing to send women fleeing. Crop out the girl in the other picture. Never a good idea. Girls see em as either an ex you're still attached to, or competition. As for you. Biology. Why? Guys as a rule write the worst profiles. We say what we do. But never why. What motivates us. what are we striving for. Throw some of that in there with more pictures and you have a winner.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Missing the Point? Posted: 11/18/2009 10:01:59 PM
Kindof mystified by your guy as well. But with some guys you have to draw a map complete with little arrows. I suppose if you want him.... just say so. Probably no hope of witty banter and subtle signaling back on his part. So if you throw ball in his court, be sure to hit him in the head.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 130 (view)

Women on Submarines Posted: 11/18/2009 5:46:37 PM
Women in submarines??? Women behind bars, women in fast cars, women in distress, women with no dress Women in airplanes, women who play games Women in uniform, see that woman with her clothes gone Women who satisfy, women you can’t buy Like women in magazines, and women in a limousine Women who sip champagne, women who feel no pain Women in a disco, and women who don’t wanna know, no no Oh, women wanting sympathy, women feeling extacy Women who live in fantasies, bringing man to his knees Women who boil to love, women who need a shove Women who can’t be beat, get that woman in the back seat, yeah yeah Women in the usa, those women steal your heart away Women into rock ’n’ roll, women who steal the show, go go go Women that you write songs about, women that turn around and kick you out Women you dream about all your life Women that stab you in the back with a switchblade knife Oh women, oohoo, talking ’bout women, all ’round the world Yeah women, all the naughty girls, talking ’bout women, come on baby Sorry, couldn't help it. Foreigner was playing on the radio.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Coincidences or Not? Posted: 11/18/2009 5:42:00 PM
^^^^ I'm like Mark Twain. I never let facts get in the way of a good story. He did have syph, and other issues. Determining the cause is poetic license. But when he finally lost it, it was straight out of a Dostoevsky story. He saw a scrawny horse being whipped by a coachman and hugged it. Never sane after that. What is a Google angel?

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Was there ONE thing that made you want to meet? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:55:37 PM
I like the way women reply to this question. A million different answers. With us guys.... 99% of us.... cus she looked hot. It's nice to find out other cool attributes along the way. But that's what motivated us first. sorry.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I continue? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:50:56 PM
Convert... or punt. Only you can decide. Good Luck.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/18/2009 3:46:24 PM
Any woman would do the same as you are. Your guy will miss his doormat. But you won't miss his selfish feet rubbing mud in your eye. Good Luck with the next guy. Not all are like your soon-2-b-ex. So pick a winner.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

for the guys Posted: 11/18/2009 3:41:33 PM
When you feel comfortable having someone in your life without it being motivated by pain or need. When you can live on your own with your kids and you and them have the family routine down. Between jobs, school and/or daycare there is alot going on and it may take time to get all the ins and outs figured out and nailed down. When you can smile and laugh on your own and enjoy your own life, and wish to expand on that. When those three conditions are met.... you are ready. Us guys will sense it too. Not insulting for a guy to wait for you. Cus when it comes to all that, a sensible guy will think the same. Good Luck.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

What do I do? Posted: 11/18/2009 2:41:07 PM
Well good for you OP. Now that you are getting help.... Remember it may take a few months before you have an accurate lens on your world. Depression blurs all. I suspect your freinds do know and are not as upset with you as you think. If you're doing what you ought to get to where you need to be... that makes you noble. And gives you character. Kindof like doing 100 push ups. No fun but worth it afterwards. You're stuck doing 10000 mental/emotional ones. Sucks, but at the end of it you'll be a better person. For you and your crowd. and to girls.(in your crowd or out) Try to avoid any negative emotional mental loops. If you sense one starting focus on your breath until it passes. It will. On it's own. Stay busy. Find an activity you like. Sometimes doing something intense like tennis, swimming. kayaking, skiing... kicks our internal chemistry into proper gear. Don't make a mental/emotional loop out of your freinds. We all need em, but when healthy we are not so emotionally attached to em. You're sortof in bed with the mental flu and they're serving you validation soup. when you find yourself thinking/feeling/reacting too much with or over em... focus on your breath. Feel whatever emotion is in your gut. Don't block. It will turn to a pleasant energy and go away if you focus on it. We get blockages from avoiding negative stuff. And throw our gears out. When we accept/feel it. It looses it's sting. Our gears turn normally. Good time to read poetry, philosophy and novels. You got angst...put it to good use. Winston Churchill suffered the same as you when young. He did that when depressed and it paid huge dividends later on. good Luck.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Keeping the profile open after you've become serious Posted: 11/17/2009 11:32:11 PM
Yup. Bring it up with him. I'm here for the forums. Have not-single/not looking as my status. You are still single in yours. So maybe he's wondering about you. And he may not be looking. Just reading the forums. But then again, how can you know? So ASK.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do men seem distant? Posted: 11/17/2009 10:18:30 PM
^^^^ RosiaG, Yeah, what she says. I was seeing this girl. Things going great. But then I hit a financial imbroglio. Nothing bad. Just stuff that had to be dealt with. Crimped my dating. Being used to Dallas women who bail at the least sign of imperfection in a guy.... I totally backed off from the girl I was seeing. Or so I explained that to myself. Just cut off all contact. Had to deal with stuff. Crawled into my man cave and shut the door. Didn't need the distraction. yada, yada........yada. After 7 weeks she calls. Acts like nothing happened. Acted like we had just spoken yesterday. If she was mad, insecure, or furious(and she had every right to be) She never showed it. Didn't even ask why. Just a sortof "hi how are you? blah, blah" kindof call. So we talk and she comes up to see me. We have a great time. And turns out she had her own stuff to deal with. So she understood. Don't know why, but I've been even crazier about her ever since. I wished I could explain it or understand it. But I guess when things are going good we do back off. A wise woman gives us time... and then gently taps us on the shoulder. and maybe we realize what we should already know. Cus we're guys and sortof dense. And need time to realize what we miss... to know what we have.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Coincidences or Not? Posted: 11/17/2009 10:01:16 PM
Don't know. Might be quirks in the quantum fluctuation. I was reading a book called "The Disappearance of God." Not an atheist book or such. Just about history of religion. It had an interesting chapter on Nietzsche. It seems while he was writing "God is Dead", another writer wrote the same thing. His name: Dostoevsky. and not only was this writer writing the same thing as Nietzsche on that and other subjects... he was also writing novels that described Nietzsche's life perfectly. These two guys never met. Never knew each other. And it really freaked Nietzsche out that he'd go into a bookstore and find a random book by Dostoevsky that described his life or stuff he was working on. Not just once. But over and over. Of course Nietzsche was damn curious about this other writer. But Dostoevsky died before he could write or meet him. So freaked out was Nietzsche by these continuing coincidences... that he went insane. and coincidently in the same way as Dostoevsky's last book. Which Nietzsche never read or saw. Cus he was mad by the time it was translated. Odd story. I guess in the quantum universe anything is possible.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Receiving a message. Posted: 11/17/2009 9:47:35 PM
I check out the profile first. Cus some messages are just best unread. trust me on that.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Where is your personality from? tv land? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:38:32 PM
Kindof off topic in this off topic thread, but a true story and sortof funny. I had a dream once that the Beverly Hillbillies drove up to my house in their old hooptee truck. Kindof surprised to see Jed, Granny, Ellie May, and Jethro outside on my street. So I go out there. And they say hop in "We're all going on to Hollywood to do a re-union show." But I say to Jed, "why me? I was never in that show". He replies: "Sure you were. Don't you remember? You were Jethro's brother. He was the smart one." I woke up laughing. Even in my dreams I'm insulted. I do love that show though. So I guess I'd be Jethro's brother. and he'd be the smart one. Maybe some day I will go to Beverlee.. swimming pools... movie stars...

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

She is confusing me Posted: 11/17/2009 9:25:38 PM
Have you ever met her? If not, pretty damn unlikely. So don't waste your time. Net girls you never meet... are the cyber version of blowup dolls.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

How long do you keep fighting? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:21:51 PM
Too late, you both blew it. You can't just start treating her like a princess to sweep the past under the rug. Yall both are tarnished each other's eyes. some folks can get past that. And you too might as well. But it won't be like it was. Takes time and perspective. So give her space and you get on with your life. See how it goes.... Good Luck to you both.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Body Image perception = confidence or hesitation? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:58:52 PM
I am a guy.... so of course I delusionally think I'm a god nekkid. Don't know if I am or not. Doesn't matter. don't care. Cus it seems to work. :-P

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Dumped/Back together advice ??? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:49:25 PM
If she says she doesn't love you(after a year) ... then why even take her back? Think you'll change her mind? good Luck. You'll need it.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Why ask a woman for her number? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:24:47 PM
Cus we always looking for lucky lotto numbers. Our own phone number never seems to hit. :-P

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

A question about dominant men. Can they also be gentlemen? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:21:28 PM
DavidPiano, no, it's not a contradiction. No guy automatically knows what a girl likes. helps to speak up if she wants poetry or just to be taken against the wall. most guys will be up for either. But get intense with the wrong girl and you could get maced. LOL So it's up to the girl to speak up and bring the cuffs.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Give it two weeks and I always screw it up! Posted: 11/17/2009 7:05:06 PM
OP, I think you found your match. You feel secure with her cus the things you listed about her, in your mind.... will keep her from bailing . You haven't solved your problem. Merely found someone compatible to your dysfunction.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

what am i doing wrong? Posted: 11/17/2009 6:52:19 PM
Well the picture of you with your finger up your buddy's nose isn't helping you. If that's spontaneity, then you may have a problem. I know folks from NY and there is a culture difference. My buds from there were more in your face intense than folks from here. Maybe they had to be loud in all ways to be noticed up there. But here, helps to be a bit more subtle. shows class. crass, we already got too much of.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Honesty in Dating Posted: 11/17/2009 3:24:57 PM
Good question OP. No right or proper way. Just what works for you. My advice. don't date or do meet-ups too close together. Maybe one or two a week tops. You can email and flirt online and on the phone all you want. but space out the meetings/dating. The reason is you may meet someone you like, and connect well with, but have this other guy scheduled in.... well you get the picture. And if you meet someone and he isn't a match, you have a few days to sort him out and get ready for the next guy who may be. If you schedule em all in too close you'll feel shallow and confused. Give each guy his time and space with you. But make sure each one knows that is all it is. I never asked, but I just assumed any girl I was getting to know was playing the field same as me. If asked, you can say: "I'm just getting to know you so we're just hanging out. We don't know each other well enuff to date exclusively yet." It is your woman's prerogative to be coy if questioned further. and say we'll see how it goes. If a guy can't accept that he's probably not for you anyway. 1st meetup isn't a date anyway. 2nd one is. 3rd or 4th is when you can decide to fish or cut bait. Good Luck.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Eating Healthy on a low income? Posted: 11/16/2009 11:38:51 PM
I buy frozen veggies. 88 cents a bag here. serves 2 to 4 depending on portions. They heat quick.(3 minutes) I heat em with soy sauce. You can get all kinds. I prefer spinach or green beans for maximum nutrition But there are mixed veggies in a bag also. Brown boil a bag rice. a buck sixty nine where I live. 4 bags in box. each one serving. boil for 10 minutes. whatever meat you cook can flavor the rice. That covers my sides. For meat I shop daytime. tues-thur are best. Stores cut and put up meat on friday. mark it down monday evening. hamburger goes with everything. Pork can be found on sale more than most meats. chicken legs and thighs are always cheap. Don't like em much but cut up in rice they do fine. cornbread mix is good filler. buy the kind that you just add milk. a bag of potatoes goes a long way too. Don't toss the skins. Only nutritious part. I've been living on a budget for years. I eat very well. very healthy. Can do it under 40 a week if I splurge on extras. under 30 if I stick to the above.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

A question for you all... Posted: 11/16/2009 10:27:52 PM
I think it is very possible. You just have a shallow view of guys. We can be as varied and complex as yall dames. Very easy to turn a nice guy bad in the bedroom. Just find a guy you like. and tell him what you like. For most guys it's a secret turn on. No need to date jerks or hard_sses for that. Silly girl.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

starting to give up findeing love Posted: 11/16/2009 8:49:39 PM
Well everyone has pretty much told you what you needed to hear. You just ignored em. So do it your way. and be single till you wise up. The "here I am come get me" profile full of misspellings, T-shirt pics, and no interests just never works. I know the delusion behind it. That someone perfect for you will somehow read it, get you, and beat a path to your door. But someone perfectly matched will be emailing someone else who does a better ad. Which is what this is. ADVERTISING. If Lexus ran an ad with flat tires and dents in the hood the car would never sell. No matter how great a car.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

easy going fun lovin...what happened? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:33:11 PM
Online or in real life? Be more specific. As for online, two words: profile review. and steel yourself for the advice. Your ad seems very flaky. and even flaky girls want a guy with substance. (to counteract their flakiness) They can cut up with the boys. But they date men. As for real life. Check out different Buddhist places and coffee shops. and you may have to dull yourself down just a tad to be taken seriously. There is a reason why that in the old days all court jesters were single. Think about it. good luck.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Are all expectations relationship killers? Posted: 11/13/2009 11:07:46 PM
Well again, more info is useful. If you've tried to communicate and he backs off then he's in the wrong. If he's got a problem he should speak up about it. If he doesn't say something he has no right to complain.(or pout). I will stick up for the guy team till I read that. Good luck to you OP in whatever you decide.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Are all expectations relationship killers? Posted: 11/13/2009 7:14:11 PM
OK, more info is useful. Not meaning to insult you OP, but just clue you into an odd bit of the male psyche. Get to that last. Start off with this: That he's not pleasing you(doing it how you like it), is just more of the control issue conflict moving into the bedroom. Yes, it's non-mutuality. He's knows that. He doesn't care. So in time he'll be dumped. Or will dump you preemptively. Unless yall can discuss it, I see this as going no where. Stubborn is as stubborn is. Now normally I'd theorize that he's just not good in the sack. And he may not be. But you are totally unconcerned whether he is or isn't. So now about the male psyche. God gave us the magnificent body part(or so we think) that we are either overly proud of or are overly insecure about. It pretty much runs our life and does alot of our thinking. Now if it does absolutely nothing for a girl it can bother a guy. I know that sounds silly. But it's pretty universal among all guys. If we're only good to a girl from the neck up, we'll gravitate to a different girl who thinks as highly of our anatomy as we do. Which is where he will end up. I know to you this makes no sense. But we're guys and wired that way. (insecure that way maybe?) There is nothing wrong with you. You like sex a certain way and have been doing what you can to please him. Brownie points to you. He knows that. But he cannot please you in the way he is programmed to do. He is in his mind...inadequate....with you. That is part of the problem he has with you. So no matter what you do, he'll bail. He'll find a girl who he won't feel that way with. Again it sounds silly. Especially when you go out of your way to please him. But that's how it is.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Are all expectations relationship killers? Posted: 11/13/2009 4:11:50 PM
^^^^ I would never EXPECT to have sex only one way. That is servicing. Yes he knows how to please her.....which is do it ONLY ONE way. HER way. I like giving oral as much as anyone but if that was the ONLY way to please a girl she'd be an ex. she'd be too boring to bother with. Would you ONLY give your BF blowjobs? wouldn't you think that abit demanding? and boring to you?

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

I don't care that he did, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIE? Posted: 11/13/2009 4:05:30 PM
Maybe he's just a forum junkie. And his profile could be hidden. It won't show on searches but you can find him cus you have him bookmarked. Before you get too mad ask him about it. He should atleast put in a relationship/ not looking or something. As maybe you should. You're single in yours. You're online. Maybe he thinks you're the one playing games. Alittle communication goes a long way.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Do you feel you Do More in a relationship - Or does your SO do more for you? Posted: 11/13/2009 3:59:01 PM
Right now we're balanced. which is why she is my GF. She does stuff for me without me asking. I do stuff for her just to see her smile. This is a new experience for me. Cus like you OP, with past relationships, I did most of the heavy lifting. I thought that was normal. Now I know better and am soooooooo Happy.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Are all expectations relationship killers? Posted: 11/13/2009 3:52:11 PM
1) You both want to be in charge. And you both are fighting a guerrilla war over that. His being late and dragging his feet on simple stuff is a part of that. (passive aggressive as someone said). If he is as headstrong as you, there can be no real compromise. You will have to kiss his a_ss on some things and he'll have to kiss yours on others. neither will like it, but that's how it is. 2) The sex thing. Doing it ONLY one way is boring. and yes, demanding. If he ONLY wanted you to do oral on him, would you? Forever? You need to look into why you are that way. That may be another control issue for you. Him servicing you. Maybe seeing him down there doing your bidding and you totally in control makes you get off. It could be a mental thing as much as a physical thing. The alternative(in his mind) is he's not good at regular sex with you. which would piss a guy off and yes lead to the quickie..."I'll just get my rocks off cus I can't please her" type of sex. You really need to get to the bottom of that cus sex should never be just about one servicing the other, but about bonding. Each enjoying the other intimately. If you can't do that your relationship is doomed. And it will be with the next guy too. Guys like to give oral but not as the only thing. You may need to get a Lesbian to be happy cus no guy will sign on for that longterm. Not being mean, but that is something obvious you need to work on to be a proper girlfreind to any guy.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS ABOUT? Posted: 11/13/2009 3:23:35 PM
Maybe he wants a groupie FwB and not an equal. Not trying to be snarky. Just some guys are that way. If the sex and relationship is that important to be childish for him here's what you do: In a social setting...... keep your mouth shut. fawn on him. In fact be quiet and act like you worship and are in awe of him like any groupie. If his ego needs that, and you can do that without retching.... then do so. Otherwise, you may need a new guy UP TO your level. Instead of trying to lower yourself to his. Good Luck.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Cinderella..But.wheres my prince Posted: 11/12/2009 10:50:00 PM
What is your criteria to choose these guys? Plenty of guys about. Plenty that would be great for you. But you pick the losers. Not knocking you. We all do that. Till we wise up and change the pattern. so work on that. Meanwhile, stay strong. stay positive. and be patient. good Luck

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Guys who tell you they've been in intense relationships? Posted: 11/12/2009 9:12:49 PM
Let's run that into the guy translation software and see what we get. "Intense relationship" whirr, whirrr Translation: "I want you. I want you BAD!" Meaning: Intense attraction...usually sexual. The attraction overrides all else including common sense. While drama is not required, it often leads to that if one's intensity is not matched by the other. These relationships are generally short due to the all consuming nature of em. Think firecrackers as opposed to slow burning coals. If it comes up in conversation ask who was the intense one. Him or her? If him, be cautious. He's a coiled spring. If her, he's recovering from the scorching so may be date-able, but will be cautious as to you.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Sweet Dreams...Question for anyone actually... Posted: 11/12/2009 2:28:04 PM
Don't let the teasing get to you. We're guys. This is out locker room. And it's what we do. It's like being verbally snapped by a towel. The scientific explanation would be if you have good thoughts going to sleep. you'll dream well. The holistic explanation is if you earnestly try to connect to someone, and him to you... You'll both transcend time and place to meet in the spirit place of dreams we all share. I have dreamed of girls before I met them. Used to think it meant we were fated. But no, just meant we would meet. fate and destiny we decide. Not chosen for us. Dream well all.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Are the forums the point of no return for all eternity? Posted: 11/12/2009 2:07:42 PM
Ask the admins, but I think you are inscribed in digital stone for all time. Some folks change their login names and that starts you out new.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

New Civil War Posted: 11/11/2009 8:55:52 PM
Not gonna happen. That crazy talk started with a ex KGB Russian guy still bitter over his own country falling apart.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Tell him how I feel or shut my pie hole? Posted: 11/11/2009 5:42:34 PM
No. Here's why. when you type this: " I don't even know for sure that I want to date him, I just hate the fact that he doesn't want to date me." That means to shut your pie hole. LOL That's your ego talking, not your heart. Plus he's got you in the freind zone. while it's easier for a girl to get out of that than a guy... It's sortof incesterous when you do.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Do relationships go in a straight line anymore? Posted: 11/11/2009 2:52:29 PM
It is like that between incompatible people. When two people are on the same page it goes smoother. What passes for dating nowadays is making it fit with whoever I find, instead of finding someone who fits.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Torn between morally right & right to be happy Posted: 11/10/2009 7:05:17 PM
No. Aside from the wrongness of it, even if you did..... it would not work out. True love should have pure beginnings. If it starts with shame, it won't last. So get your life in order. Maybe she will. Who knows what the future holds if you are both single later on. but now, it would be a painful disaster.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

what's REALLY his deal? he won't have sex with me after 2 yrs Posted: 11/10/2009 6:39:10 PM
He has either a sexual dysfunction(ED), OCD issues in a major way.. or may be gay as someone above said. ED is spotty in some men. I could see getting a BJ, but then not being able to preform at another time. Medication or therapy can cure that in most guys. Same with OCD. The third thing, well if that's it he's just gonna have to face up to it. No treatment options there. After two years he should look into whatever it is. But as for you, if he's not meeting your needs, not fixing the problem, or in denial about it you should move on.

stray__Cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Red Flags Or Blown Out Of Proportion Posted: 11/10/2009 5:48:10 PM
The red flag is your nature. What you're dealing with is the issues of control. As in who is? You're a Taurus so attracted to confident guys. But you clash with em cus in a relationship someone has got to be in charge. With you.... it's gotta be you. Now another type of girl would just do what he likes and change her likes to his. But that isn't in your nature. And it may not be his nature to compromise or adapt to what you like. While the issues you mention are minor, it's a sign of things to come, so you are wise to wonder about it. This does not have to be a deal breaker if you both see this for what it is. The solution is for you both to take turns putting up with what the other likes. It can be fun. You will each learn from the other and experience things neither of you would on your own. True split the difference compromise may not be possible, it may end up either do his thing or yours alternately. Problematic, but workable. He should go along with this unless he is more headstrong than you. In which case THAT is the red flag. Not likes or dislikes. Good Luck.

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

How to ask the right questions.... What do i do now? Posted: 11/10/2009 3:01:19 PM
^^^ I disagree. We ask a girl out first. And are suppose to express our interest first. But it's the girl's job to define how it goes. It's in the Guy Rules. page 12. paragraph 3. Right under "The girl's gotta do some of the work and stick her neck out atleast once".

stray__cat

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

How much is too much? Posted: 11/10/2009 2:56:45 PM
She was wrong not to respond to your first message on the canceled date. And blocked you to put the blame on you. A normal girl would've replied with a reason. or atleast said not interested. For future reference: 2 unanswered messages...leave alone.

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