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chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

who gets your stuff? Posted: 11/1/2009 2:08:22 PM
I hope to be able to follow in the footsteps of my parents...downsize on my own, so that in the end no one is left with a bunch of stuff to wonder what to do with or to get rid of. I have no children, and only one sister who is well off financially, so as long as she remains so, any money I may leave behind will be going to the local humane society. I've always been an animal lover, and have always had a dog or two that have brought a lot of pleasure into my life, so it's only fitting that I return the favor. One never knows what the future may bring, but those are my current plans.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

television-- pros and cons Posted: 10/11/2009 9:20:53 PM
I once worked with a TV-snob who took every opportunity to announce "I never watch TV", but strangely, if the conversation turned to some program or other, she was always able to join in...but also always had an excuse as to why she happened to have seen that particular show. I'm one of those who uses the television as my background noise...it's what I turn on first thing in the morning and as soon as I come home from work, even though I may not actually be watching. I do think there is some excellent programming, though, if you take the time to look for it. Some of my favorites have been the "Planet Earth" and "Blue Planet" series along with many of the nature oriented shows that can be found on Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel. What I do miss are some of the old comedies like Seinfeld and Frasier, Friends, Cheers, etc.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

What you can tell by their eye color Posted: 6/30/2009 8:28:49 PM
The post by Msg 4 displays terrific ignorance...I sincerely hope that no topics are voted off based on such lack of knowledge and bias, and I think that most POF members who are forum regulars are a little more "with it" in the world of sexually transmitted diseases. Herpes is not a rare. As one who works in a medical laboratory where such testing is done, I see many new cases diagnosed every day, and many people go undiagnosed as they never show symptoms, so never are aware that they are infected.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Am I really as old as they are?? Posted: 6/23/2009 2:25:03 PM
I'm not sure how people regard me...some tell me they're really surprised when they learn my age, saying that I really don't look it. As for my own opinion...sometimes I look pretty good to myself, other times I think "OMG ! what happened?" I think I have pretty fortunate heredity - my dad was a very handsome and well preserved 84 year old when he died unexpectedly, and I'm sure he was very popular at his assisted living facility. At my last high school reunion I was voted the least changed, but whether I can hold onto that claim I have no idea. I do know that some of my former classmates definitely looked the worse for wear. I am disappointed here at POF that the age of 62 next to my picture apparently causes any males near my own age to quickly move on, as I seem to hear mainly from younger men...not that I'm unhappy with that, but I'd like to hear from those my own age as well. As for self-preservation...I don't do a whole lot...daily moisturizer without fail, streaking my formerly blonde hair to maintain some highlights, reasonable makeup. As an insider in the healthcare system, I've vowed never to have any unnecessary medical procedure, so no botox, no cosmetic surgery of any sort for me just for appearance purposes.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Making sure we live in the now as we age Posted: 6/21/2009 10:36:57 AM
Things that one should always notice and be thankful for but that one tends to overlook, especially in youth, I've been trying to make a point of consciously paying attention to...and I think that's at least in part due to aging. Each day I try to pay attention to the beauty of nature, the colors, the wonder of life, the joy of my dog, the amazing power of the microscopic organisms that I work with in my job each day, etc, etc. I also find that my longer range plans are no longer designated to "some day". I'd better be a little more specific in defining that some day. I've never been one who's taken the good fortune of the circumstances of my birth for granted, but I think that the older I get, the more I realize just how fortunate I was to have been born in this country to middle class parents who took an interest in my life, as opposed to the circumstances of so many others in the world.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

I just found out that my first-ever foster dog has passed :-( Posted: 6/21/2009 6:07:43 AM
I, too, was a foster parent for my local humane society and I understand how you keep the thoughts of all the dogs (in my case, puppies) that passed through your home in your mind. I kept puppies that were dropped off too young to be adopted in my home until they were old enough to be neutered and put up for adoption. It is hard to give them back...you hope they go to loving homes. I ended up keeping one of mine as well...he would wrap his little front legs around my forearm when I held him and burrow his face into my neck...just couldn't give him back. Thank you for your story, and my sympathy is with you.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Conan O Brien is taking over The Tonight Show Posted: 5/30/2009 10:01:22 AM
Letterman used to be my favorite, but I lately had taken to switching back and forth between Letterman and Leno to find whatever seemed to catch my interest that night. I think Letterman's smart and can discuss just about any topic with any guest...maybe he's well prepared in advance by his staff, but nevertheless, it makes for interesting interviews rather than just ads for the guest's latest ventures. I'll miss Leno...I doubt that I'll be using the remote any longer. My take on Connan is that his humor is based on "silly"...with Will Farrell as his first guest that seems to define his show in my opinion...I pretty much dislike slapstick humor.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Why is a human live so worthwhile? Posted: 5/25/2009 11:35:37 AM
Although I probably don't value nonhuman life above that which is human, I find all life to be extremely valuable. As a person with a scientific mindset, I find "life" itself, whether plant or animal, amazing. I think that basically, humans put themselves above all other forms of life because our brains have allowed us to develop a higher degree of civilization, but also because we are unable to understand other life forms. Studies of some animals have shown that they have a much higher degree of intelligence than we have ever given them credit for, and that they have emotions that we would never have imagined. It has long been known that some animals mate for life. I'm sure that additional research will continue to expand that information. Also, it seems that in more recent times one large group of human beings has become significantly more important than any other...that group being "children". I've noticed that whatever the catastrophe, large or small, when it's being described by the news media, at the end of the segment, if a death toll or injury count has been given, they always add "including children". Several questions always come to my mind. First, what is the cutoff age before you're no longer part of that most valued group? Second, isn't everyone someone's child and dearly loved by their parents?

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

30 is the new 14. Posted: 5/7/2009 2:50:32 PM
There's a columnist who writes regarding child rearing in the Omaha World Herald (John Rosemond or something similar is his name) and he recently wrote regarding his reversal in thought of the concept of the importance of building a child's self esteem. There was a period of time (maybe it still exists) where every kid got a trophy whether or not it was earned, every kid was rewarded big for his effort no matter how minimal or what the end result of that measley effort might have been. What that taught at least some of those kids was that they deserved everything no matter what....me, me, me! Now those kids are adults and they still see the world as owing them.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Before there was Formula...there was Milk! Posted: 4/18/2009 6:08:52 AM
Most of today's immunizations are performed with dead organisms, so individuals are not subjected to live organisms and given a low risk case of the actual disease. I've seen reference in previous posts to "flesh-eating bacteria", MRSA, and other life threatening organisms that are now part of the general conversation because they've been written up with such regularity in monthly magazines and daily newspapers. Another one that is extremely serious and is getting more and more general attention is Clostridium difficile. None of these organisms are new - the "flesh eating bacteria" is Group A strep - the cause of ordinary strep throat, MRSA is ordinary Staphylococcus aureus that has become antibiotic resistant, Clostridium difficile is an intestinal organism that takes on destructive capabilities related to the patient's antibiotic treatment. The overuse of antibiotics is responsible in a large part for the appearance of these organisms...and the blame for this doesn't fall on the drug companies - it falls on the consumer who demands treatment from their physician and the physician who writes out an unnecessary prescription. I'm not saying that drug companies aren't out for their own benefit and that they don't exist to make a profit - of course they do - but we'd be in a real fix if they weren't working to develop new and better antibiotics (or vaccines) to combat infections. And there are a host of auto-immune diseases that are naturally occurring and cannot be blamed on chemicals, vaccines, drug companies, etc....they just happen, and the unfortunate victim may become more vulnerable to outside pathogens as well as having his own body attack itself. Some medical procedures induce reduced immunity and are done by choice...chemotherapy deliberately reduces the body's ability to protect itself so that it can hopefully destroy the cancer that is doing the greater harm. I guess I'm trying to say that you can't have it all. We have so many great medical advances available to us and yet everyone wants to have all of this at no risk and no cost. It just isn't possible.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Before there was Formula...there was Milk! Posted: 4/12/2009 8:30:03 PM
Arguments go on as to whether immunizations are the cause or not of other problems....and in some instances they very well may be. But the risks of having your child live in a world full of other non-immunized children would be greater than having your child immunized - you can see that in third world countries today. Just because we may not have a disease in this country does not mean that it has been removed from the earth. With global travel as it is today, polio could be brought back to a non-immunized population just like a new strain of influenza can wipe through the population that hasn't been immunized against that new strain. In our day, we all got chicken pox, mumps, etc and most people recovered just fine and won't get them a second time because we developed the antibodies due to having the disease - same concept with immunizations, except you don't have to suffer the disease. Only problem in our case, is that now we have to worry about the latent chicken pox virus coming back as shingles....but we now have the option of potentially avoiding that with an immunization. I've been lucky so far in that I haven't had to deal with shingles, but from what I've heard from those who have, I'd rather have the immunization.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Before there was Formula...there was Milk! Posted: 4/12/2009 1:55:27 PM
If my sister or I got a cold, it went away on its own time...no visit to the doctor for each little fever, cough or upset stomach. In fact, I don't know if my mother owned a thermometer. Today's practice of rushing kids to the clinic and expecting some sort of treatment for every little thing is a big part of the current problem of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Those who don't vaccinate their children are depending on everyone else to do so. Their children can remain disease free only because others do immunize themselves. That's a very selfish perspective.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Some encouragement Posted: 3/18/2009 5:04:45 PM
If you're thinking about getting back into the workforce or have lost your job and are looking around for another, you also need to consider new career choices. Although the poor economy has hit healthcare to some extent, there is still a real shortage of healthcare workers in just about all areas...and the shortage is only going to increase. So many of the current workers are far from youthful, and many will be heading toward retirement in the not too distant future. That means not only fewer healthcare workers, but more healthcare consumers. There has been a huge nursing shortage for many years, but there's also a need for many workers in allied healthcare fields. There's even a physician shortage in certain areas and specialties. Certainly, some of these careers take years of training, but not all. My personal experience is in the laboratory, and there is also a shortage of laboratory workers. With fewer and fewer young people going into the field, I figure that as long as I can manage to get myself to work there'll probably be a job for me.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

How come so many people seem to be clueless about sex? Posted: 12/16/2008 5:34:44 AM
You think people should have learned about sex in school? Don't you read the newspaper or aren't you in touch with the local uprisings whenever the most basic sexual topics are considered being introduced into the school curriculum? There are individuals who insist that these topics must be taught in the home according to their own principles or their religious doctrines...yet many fail to do so. They are even anti-birth control discussions, preferring to think that if such topics aren't mentioned, teenage sex - or even younger - won't occur. Get into the real world. Most adults and kids of all ages have never had the opportunity to learn about sex or sexual biology in schools. If they're lucky they learn about it from their parents...most likely they'll learn from friends, gossip, or personal experience.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Single, Over 45 and Starving? Posted: 10/18/2008 3:38:57 PM
When I was first single I was pretty good at preparing decent meals for myself, but as time went on that wore off and I went through spells of junk food, fast food, whatever was handy...especially if I was putting in a lot of overtime and came home with only enough energy to put some food into the dog's dish. Now I'm really taking advantage of prepared foods at the grocery store - not necessarily for the entire meal, but maybe to serve as the base along with a microwaved veggie and a bagged salad. Or a great sandwich with deli meats and cheese on a bagel with fresh fruit, and I couldn't live any more without rotisserie chicken - their uses are endless. I am fortunate to live in a city that has large grocery stores with good selections and large and ever expanding frozen food sections. Something else also exists here in town that I have never tried - there are several companies where you can go to prepare a weeks worth of meals to take home for yourself. They provide all the ingredients and instructions, you prepare the dishes and take them home. One person I work with has tried it was happy with her meals.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life? Posted: 10/18/2008 5:46:24 AM
For me, I believe that it definitely is more difficult to find "the one" at this age. The usual factors of fewer available men, my personal expectations, etc, all enter into it, but possibly more important is the fact that I've already experienced marriage and I know that the reality of marriage isn't what I thought that it would be before I first married when I was in my 20's. I know that as the years pass, the obligations and experiences of everyday life can change a relationship...sometimes for the better, and as many of us here have experienced, often not. Those experiences can change a once loving relationship into something else, and I don't plan to have that happen again. Will I be happy to remain single the rest of my life? My real hope is to find someone to establish a long term relationship with, but to remain unmarried and probably maintain separate residences. Whether this will actually happen is a mystery.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

What Keep You Trying? Posted: 7/23/2008 4:53:19 PM
I've been asking that question of myself lately....why am I still here? I'm not unhappy with my single life-style. In fact, I'm probably more at peace living alone than I was at any time during my marriage. But, I'm a practical person as well. I see retirement ahead and I'd like to have someone to share those years with...someone who would enjoy travel, going to the bookstore, volunteering at the local shelter or humane society. I can and will do those things by myself, but it would be a lot more fun to have someone to do them with. And on an even more practical level, it looks like I shouldn't have any financial troubles at retirement time, but combining resources with someone else would make things more worry free. Even though my days are currently filled, there aren't many opportunities to meet available men, so keeping my profile here offers a bit of hope. Like others have said, so far I haven't had much luck meeting anyone with whom I've felt really great....but maybe someday.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

matches and chemestry Posted: 7/23/2008 7:42:59 AM
depending on where you live, I think they're the only ones within a reasonable age range that live within a reasonable driving distance...I get the same matches over and over...never pay any attention to them

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

What do you hide behind? Posted: 6/21/2008 3:11:32 PM
what do I hide behind...very thought provoking and I can't seem to narrow it down to one or even two things...fear of rejection...feelings of unworthiness...too many chores to fill my time...afraid to trust again...fear of losing my independence...previous lack of success, etc if I sat here long enough the list could continue to go on...maybe I need to define the most significant...which I'm already pretty sure is the "trust" issue... but how do you learn to trust again...easier said than done

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

The age of 50 watershed for dating. Posted: 6/19/2008 8:51:09 PM
I think I've been contacted by fewer than 10 men my own age or older on this site. When you've reached my age you're really outside just about any man's acceptable age limit. Strangely, I think that if they met me in person, without that number hanging over my head, I wouldn't be dismissed so immediately, but here my age is right there, next to my picture, where it's probably the most significant part of my personal information. But in some ways that's okay with me. Many of the younger men don't seem to be so horrified by that number and they are the ones who I typically hear from. And since women statistically outlive men, that just might work out for the better.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Ok.... down the road.... Posted: 6/16/2008 6:55:48 PM
^^BG^^ ...thanks for your comments My dad couldn't have chosen a better nursing facility for Mom - the staff there is fantastic. Neither my sister nor I live in the same city as Mom, and when Dad died we debated whether to move her, but finally decided we probably couldn't find another place like it. Fortunately, my sister is close enough to be able to see her almost weekly. We don't really know what Mom realizes, but at times she demonstrates unexpected clarity and humor. At one visit she explained to my sister..."your father is away at college". We still laugh at that one and I know Dad would be laughing along with us.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Ok.... down the road.... Posted: 6/14/2008 5:01:23 PM
My dad gave up the retirement he had always dreamed of when my mom developed MS with slow but progressive deterioration along with Alzheimer's. The last 16-17 years of his life were spent caring for her in various stages of decline, with all but the last two years in their own home, with no outside help. I was amazed at the patience he demonstrated and the love he showed daily as he handled all the cooking and other routine chores. He saw their social life decline as friends drew away, but he found friendships and kept himself busy with activities where he could. Along the way he had hip replacement surgery and open heart surgery himself, and my sister and I helped out where we could, but he always minimized his own problems. When he knew he couldn't do it any longer he found a nursing home for Mom that was attached to an assisted living facility where he got a place for himself, and he spent each day, all day, with her in her room. So far, Mom has outlived him by four years. Her thought processes aren't the greatest...I know she remembers him, but I don't think she really understands that he is gone...and I'm truly thankful for that. Could I do the same? I really don't know. My dad was a truly special person and I'm not sure I could live up to his standards.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

What is your real goal for dating? Posted: 5/22/2008 10:18:31 AM
When I now look back at when I first decided to join a dating site a few years ago (from my now more experienced viewpoint), I think "what an idiot you were". I seriously thought that there would be lots of men anxious to meet women looking for long term relationships...it didn't take too long to notice that none of them near my own age were interested in me, and that most of those younger than I who were contacting me were just looking for sex. I'll have to admit that a couple of the younger ones were smart enough and interesting enough that I actually met and had a few dates with them, but there was never any thought of a long term relationship there. Over the past few months I've pretty much come to accept that I've been single for so long that I'm probably better off to stay that way. I no longer search any dating site for potential prospects, but I do enjoy reading the forums . Even so, although I no longer expect it, I still would like to meet someone with similar likes and interests to share life with. I work full time and have plenty of additional chores and activities to fill my life, but at some point I plan to cut back my working hours and would really like to meet a potential travel companion. What I need to do is spend more time out in the real world where I might actually meet and get to know someone instead of quickly dismissing them, or being dismissed by them, as "not a match" based on a detail or two of a picture of short profile on a dating site.

chopsticks12344

Joined: 7/12/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Over 40 and no children? Posted: 3/31/2008 12:26:37 PM
I refer you to the sex and sexuality forum and the thread "she has 12 children by 7 different fathers and is a grandmother by 31".....that woman must truly have your admiration! What that title doesn't tell you is that the woman's firstborn daughter is well on the way to continuing the family tradition - she has already had her second child. Individuals can contribute to society in many meaningful ways beyond producing additional human beings. Working to contribute to the well being of those already here on this planet is both fulfilling and serves to better mankind.

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