Can you make love to someone you are not in love with? chat & forums.

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BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

Can you make love to someone you are not in love with? Posted: 4/8/2008 5:48:53 PM
yeah people do it all the time. just look at all the crappy relationships out there. besides you cannot make love no more than you can make hatred. love is an emotion. its meant to be expressed. the highest form of expression for love is sexual intercourse. so the next time a guy tells you i make love to you but i sex with everyone else, just remember both acts reqiure both parties to be naked and genitals used.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

anyone ever turned a stripper into a girilfriend Posted: 4/8/2008 5:39:51 PM
ok first as long as the man understands the game let her be a girlfriend. personally i would'nt. dont have time to be worried when some fool (like in players club) decides its time she does more for all the money he has spent. two if shes into stripping (and all the things that go with it) thats her hustle so the man with her has to understand that. i personally dont see paying for some female to just shake her body in my face when i can get that and more for free. thirdly if thats what floats your boat then more power to ya. i would never do it been around to many of them. i mean dont get me wrong they are good people too but i just seen and learned too much.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Why is marriage so seemingly Righteous? Posted: 4/7/2008 2:37:59 PM
usually people follow the norm instead of thinking for themselves. thats at least what i think. i think today people have an unrealistic idea of marriage. it because we do things backwards today. we meet, have sex, play house for months and then get married. hell by that time you cant stand the sight of the person. people get married now cause its the "RIGHT THING TO DO". my mom had 9 kids by 4 different men. none of them worth nothing including my father. getting married for this reason usually ends in disaster. i feel people just need to take their time

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

unmarried pregnancy concerns Posted: 4/7/2008 1:52:42 PM
ok so you did not have these concerns before she was pregnant. if you have been together 6 months and you cannot figure this out sounds like some commitment issues. the true mark of a man is responsibliity. get some pre marital counseling so that the both of you can be honest about this. the last thing you need is another child caught between a rock and a hard place. you even said if not for the child you would not be trying to make things work. thats a sign there.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

35, No Kids, Never Married Posted: 4/7/2008 1:44:43 PM
you damn skippy crazycurlz girl!!!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

35, No Kids, Never Married Posted: 4/7/2008 1:42:53 PM
look dude im 35 no kids and never married. i dont have no baby mama drama and i am enjoying my life.look at the average family today. single parents with kids which in some cases have no father in their lives. my mother had 9 kids by 4 different none of them worth anything incliding my father. he has 21 other kids and i dont know most of them cause the state stepped in and separated all my moms kids. look man consider youself lucky. i dont have no problems with commitment. look at these women (mostly SINGLE moms) ask them what happened to the man that was suppose to be committed to them. dont let someone tell you how your life should be. im cool i dont have no kids that the state has to chase me down for. i dont have to fight with the lady cause i want to do something good for the child when his father does not. KEEP YO HEAD UP MAN! THERE ARE MORE OF US OUT HERE

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

losing control of everything Posted: 4/7/2008 1:31:58 PM
look girl bring in the law before being a b---h turns into black eyes and hospital time!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 321 (view)

What is the difference between Having Sex and Making Love Posted: 4/7/2008 1:28:50 PM
NOTHING! you dont make love you express it its an emotion. people dont go around saying "hey lets make hatred". the highest expression of hatred is murder, so the opposite of that would be true too. the highest expression of love would be sexual intercourse. let me ask you this, if you caught you man cheating and he said , aw baby she was just a F--K but i make LOVE to you. what would you say? i call it like i see it. so the answer is NOTHING ITS ALL HAVING SEX! The connection it what matters. you should look at the difference between LOVE and LUST.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable Posted: 4/7/2008 1:19:22 PM
June Cleaver does not work at home anymore, she cant afford it. she goes to school, in some cases is a single mom who works and goes to school. and everything else that goes along with this day and age. I say "FAIR EXCHANGE MEANS NO ROBBERY!" Its the responsibility of both parties to be financially responsible. a man and a woman are two halves that make a whole. But it is true that Financial stability helps to create stability in the other areas of life. and the guy in the produce department may just have his investments in order. i knew a janitor that ahd thousands when he retired. now he travels the world. i know people that have big careers that cannot afford to do the things he does. people lose their jobs and have things happen to them all the time. i am in school and have been on my job 8 years. but i want better and thats the key not settling for mediocracy. i too grew up bad situation. my mother or foster parents never taught me about debt and finances. i just saw struggle all my life. the key is to find someone that will share your vision. KEEP YOU HEAD UP FRIEND!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Feeling like guys won't give me a chance - real or in my head Posted: 4/7/2008 1:03:29 PM
Try going out to have fun. learn what it is "YOU FANCY" dont go out just to find someone, if you do that you will find anything. what are the things you value in a man, what qualities and attributes are important to you. and above all remember "LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL!" KEEP YO HEAD UP FRIEND!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Too much ...I'm drowning :( Read my story...looking for new friends I suppose Posted: 3/30/2008 7:41:33 PM
man thats a lot. your friend is not what you needed. you need to look deep inside your self and find out who you are. loss messes with our identity. part of you is gone. now you have to rebuild. find out what you want from a man and in life. work towards that . as for your friend write hima letter and tell him how you feel sometimes its hard for a man to be friends with a woman he wants. so he to must be going thru some things. im sure you have other family and friends spend time with them volunteer in you community to pass the time. before youknow it things will look up. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

How do you get over someone Posted: 3/30/2008 7:34:12 PM
blueeyedbaldman said it the best. good job homie!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Stupid....stupid...stupid.... Posted: 3/30/2008 7:30:46 PM
first have you listened to the old whitney houston song "THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL". in it she says learning to love YOURSELF is the greatest love of all. secondly you must learn the meaning of the phrase "GAME RECONIZE GAME". you see playing house will always get you into trouble. men are suppose to be able to hold their own. if you show a man that you "just need someone" you will lose everytime. sit down and figure out the reason you are letting GAME get ran on you. figure out what it is YOU want. next take lessons from tthe past so you waqnt repeat the same mistakes. the height of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. once a man knows you reconize game he will move on friend. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

used and abused Posted: 3/30/2008 7:22:08 PM
im sure you heard of the story of the PHOENIX right. suppose that the best thing I could have done is not to have taken her back YOU SAID IT BEST FRIEND!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

I dont get it Posted: 3/30/2008 7:18:50 PM
sometimes when you go through a breakup you lose confidence. a lack of confidence shows more than anything else. dont worry about it im sure you were doing ok (its probably how u got the last female) just settle and close this chapter of you life and the next one will begin. once you get oyur confidence back you will be fine friend. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

need some help/support please... Posted: 3/30/2008 7:03:32 PM
to move on you first must settle the past. next realize that loving yourself is the greatest love of all. if you cant talk to him write a letter tellng him how you feel. once thats done, find out what YOU want in life and go after it. as you are living your life a good man will come when you least expect it. you have everything in you to win just realize it and unlock the potenntial you lock up! KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 221 (view)

is there faithful or decent men out there Posted: 3/30/2008 6:51:32 PM
i used to wonder why out of all the women in the world why i would meet the worst ones. i finally realized that i had to change my way of thinking. if you keep finding these types of men look at the pool from which you are pulling. next set high standards for your self. watch the men observe them. my grangmother once said "if you watch a person when things are going bad you will see the truth about them revealed". hard times brings out the truth in people. most of all get to know the man before you get sexually involved. emotions sometimes can betray us. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 105 (view)

im gonna give up soon.. Posted: 3/30/2008 6:44:42 PM
hey hope things are going well for ya. the true mark of a man is realizing when he needs help. as one of the ladies said grt the help you need so you can live your life to the fullest. never forget the words to the old song by whitney houston, "LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF IS THR GREATEST LOVE OF ALL"!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

How do you handle being Intimidated by your date's intelligence Posted: 3/30/2008 6:33:24 PM
first have confidence in your self. secondly im sure there are topics you are knowledgeable about as well. next ask him what books are good on the subject. now you may be reading too much into this ( as you put it) if you are willing to learn it should not be an issue. but please do not fall into the trap of trying to please him cause that will only ake you feel inferior. you said you are educated as well so just sit back and have fun. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

What does my children come first mean to you? Posted: 3/30/2008 6:26:49 PM
it means your children are first period. now its up to the man to figure out if he is willing to deal with that. if he does he will find a way to spend quaility time with you.trust me on that one. he will get creative! KEEP YO HEAD UP.

big boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 216 (view)

Dont give in to the sex girls Posted: 3/30/2008 6:19:59 PM
ok we are we not grownups? if you are not out to get laid then make this known before going out whether you be man or woman. that way the boundaries are set. as for the man not calling you after the fact i cant answer that one except to say he may be thinking the same thing. thats why communication is important. let your intentions be known before hand. and true sometimes (although i dont agree with it) people just want to get laid. KEEP YO HEAD UP!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 276 (view)

This is ME Posted: 12/2/2007 7:07:44 PM
Hi i am Big Boi. i have meet some cool people here. And on day i will be President of the United States Ok now that im sober i want to finish up my last semester at Penn Valley Community College so i can transfer to Avila College and study Film and Digital Media.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 2598 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 11/12/2007 8:40:55 PM
its funny so many women are compared to cars, lets take a good look at that. 1st what do you do with a car when you are not satisfied with it? you sell it(THATS PIMPIN) 2nd you junk it ( im tired of her) 3rd you trade it in for a better one (but usually people trade down in a relationship) so if you want to be treated like a lady thats what you put forth. as for sex its part of the entire person its self to say i cant wait for sex. we men have had that problem for years. communication is the key to getting what u want. if you are not satisfied then TALK and work it out ( aw thats just too much work im sorry) we are a microwave society. we want instant gratification. i have a beautiful niece she is 14. and yes she wants to be married before having sex and yes i told if a man loves you he will RESPECT her wishes. there is nothing wrong with waiting it makes people get to know and respect each other and thats a true relationship!!!!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

History of Thinking. Posted: 11/12/2007 6:27:24 PM
thats because we make greater leaps in technology than in the humanities friend

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Child development/Social Posted: 11/12/2007 6:21:22 PM
speaking from experience children usually never (there are exceptions to the rule) forget the positive influences they have. as the old african saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child".

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Talkin bout History Posted: 11/12/2007 6:16:14 PM
yeah history is fun did you know most of the insurance companies invested in the slave trade? wild huh lol

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Regarding Nietzsche - what is your opinion of him? Posted: 11/12/2007 6:10:41 PM
Being an american of african descent and growing up during the gang wars i can how one could come to the conclusion God is dead. but if you study the civil rights movment you will realizr that with out the church there would have been no civil rights movement of any kind. with all the atrocities blks had to learn to for give their white brothers and sisters for the things done to them. after changing my life and studying philosophy i realized one thing if God wanted us to be the same he would have made us robots. Nietzsche made us realize that humans are capable of two things, "GREAT GOOD OR GREAT EVIL" and thats what is going on in the world. for the first part of my life i was prejudice and hateful, didnt care about anything. now i try to do some good in life. life is all about choices, lets make some good ones and the world just may turn out to be ok. but remember since we do have free will people csan choose to do what ever they want. 3L's+KUW

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Changing destiny Posted: 11/12/2007 5:48:12 PM
its all about the choices we make on a daily basis. i like to call it "law of events set in motion". once you make a decision this set in motion a chain of events. so make good decisions friend!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 129 (view)

Philosophy anyone? Posted: 11/12/2007 5:43:41 PM
hell yes i love discussing why is the sky blue and why they call them squares when they are round lol! good conversation is the stuff things are made of im down!

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 355 (view)

Are prostitutes the solution? Posted: 11/12/2007 5:36:27 PM
paying for sex in todays world is crazy. thar just means the person has no game. it easier to get now than ever. just step yo game up homie

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 2591 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 11/12/2007 5:25:55 PM
I could wait. if thats what the woman wants. i would not want her to compromise what she believes and feel strongly about just to satisfy my urge. personally i think its the waiting period people are worried. one individual said he dated someone for three years. i can pretty much tell on the first date if there is going to be anything. if i dont see it i will not waste her time.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 398 (view)

Why do men have affairs? Posted: 11/7/2007 3:22:25 PM
well said ! i coould not have said it better myself.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

What does unconditional love mean to you? Posted: 11/7/2007 3:12:23 PM
it means you love the person the way in which you want to be loved! we all have imperfections. in life you get what you put out. if you want someone to love you for who you are then you must give it in return.

BIG BOI

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Need advice, help, a bullet Posted: 11/7/2007 3:06:59 PM
sex can intensify feelings. but you must look at the facts and not let your feelings (alas the other head) run your thinking. did you find the reason why she had to move on such a short notice? the situation with the ex sounds funny too. sometimes we forget to do our homework before getting into a relationship. here is the real, man up and demand the truth. life is too short to be placed in the SHADOWY REALM OF UNCERTAINTY!

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Would He Still Want Me After He Knows? Posted: 5/30/2007 10:12:40 PM
a man and a woman are two halves that make a whole. if a man really cares for you it will be unconditional friend. two people builds things together. do not place so much attention on it. work on getting yourself together and in the process a good man will come along. sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Should I call or play him at his own game? Posted: 5/30/2007 10:06:33 PM
a wise man once said, "TO LET A RELATIONSHIP GROW AND RUN ITS COURSE!" A relationship has its cycles. its best to start off as friends first. this os so you may observe each other. this also lets you see the persons character. time apart will also make the time together seem more special (especially if the amn is into her). dont feel discouraged. i can tell you as a man that when we find something special the first thing we must do is decide if we are going to be responsible for that woman. the next time you talk to him just ask himwhats on his mind JUST TO BE ASKING! a man sometimes just want a woman to listen. trust me when he get ready to show how he feels you will have no question you will know. as a man i know.

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

I'm bout to give up on this junk Posted: 5/30/2007 9:55:31 PM
hey homie just be yourself and meet people. both men and women on sties are usually thinking the same thing and that is people just want to meet for sex or something don't believe me just read the criteria part. it usually says "must not be looking for sexual encounter or something of that nature" i am a big fella and people say i look like biggie smalls. i know i am not the most handsome fellow in the world but i still meet people. its all about confidence. an old G told me a long time ago that no matter how you look if you do not have confidence in your self nothing will ever happen. this site is no different than going out and meeting people. if you get a chance watch the movie "TAO OF STEVE" its a comedy but it deals with some real issues about the dating scene and our confidence in ourselves. sign, LEARN THE GAME, RESPECT THE ARTFORM.

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

How am I suppose to know what the hell YOU want, when YOU don’t even know Posted: 5/30/2007 9:35:01 PM
look babygirl unfortunately the men u ran into did not have your best interest at heart. i have no doubt you are special but do not let bitterness seep into your soul it will do nothing but make you sick. a wise man once said that a relationship is two halves that make a whole. one piece of advice, observation is the key to all learning. you want to get to know a man observe him when times are tough, observe him in your friendship phase. no one all of a sudden becomes an a--hole. those tendencies were always present but we often let our emotions get in the way. Bruce lee once said"never give into emotions as they can be the enemy." what he meant by that is pay attention to the facts. a true relationship is built on facts. emotions tend to change but facts stay the same. when you are observing you are looking at facts about a persons character. these will tell you everything u need to know about a persons character. you will do well to remember the words of tupac shakur,"life goes on". remember you are special and do not let any jerk man or woman take that away from you

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

What I can do? Posted: 5/30/2007 1:21:48 AM
you said he was not handsome not your style. sometimes things like this happen to get us to see beyond the physical. look just go to him and tell him how you feel. he probably picked up on your "not my style vibe". so in this case you must be honest and tell him how oyu felt and how you feel now. tears are a part of life. i know you are a beautiful woman but ask youself this question HONESTLY, "DO I WANT SOME ONE THAT WANTS ME CAUSE I HAVE A NICE A-- OR BIG BOOBS, OR DO I WANT SOMEONE THAT WILL BE WITH ME THRU THICK AND THIN?" sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled? Posted: 5/30/2007 1:12:03 AM
Because we live in a world that has a something called "A DOUBLE STANDARD". also what type of friends do you have that will set u up like that. i once has a female friend that was set up and she paid a terrible price. her mind was never the same after that. u should be more careful who you call friend. both men and women are capable of great good or great evil. as bruce lee once said, "TO BE HONEST WITH ONESELF, NOT LYING TO ONESELF, THAT MY FRIEND IS HARD TO DO". if a person truly cares about you he or she will not put you in a situation that will cause you harm. sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

The New Girl Posted: 5/30/2007 1:02:30 AM
as a former ward of the state i can tell you this, they give custody to the parent that is most stable. keep your job and keep taking care of business. the proof will speak for its self. if he uses drugs and you can prove it, you will hav no problem. KEEP YO HEAD UP OK

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

The New Girl Posted: 5/30/2007 12:56:51 AM
my grandmother once told me that life will test all relationships. nothing that is worth having comes easy. its sad to see how many women are raising children by themselves. the truth is if you move on their will be another man in his life. just make sure he is a good example for your son. you cannot change people you can only change yourself. also do not let a man move in with you unless he is committed to you. i can tell you from experience and as a man that if you let a man have you before he has a chance to decide if he is going to be responsible for you AND your child then, you just gave him the best of you. real men love the chase it lets them know you are a special person and worth the chase. remember the basic law is self-preservation. you must love yourself before you can pass love to others. it may hurt but you must realize that just like you he has the freedom to be with whoever he wants to. the one thing i must say is to not make up your sons mind about his father, let him see that for himself. my mother did that to me and i never got to know my father. because of this i was bitter towards her for a long time. it was not until i was older that i learned about my dad. he had a child by a girl i went to school with. you will be ok. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Just a Question Posted: 5/30/2007 12:32:28 AM
Women are very emotional creatures. sometimes they need you more than work. a relationship is not one and one but two halves that make a whole. i do not know your situation so i cannot give you advice on that. but i can tell you from experience that when women are in a highly emotional state you must attend to them and give them special care or someone else will. its seems you neglected her. you do not strike me as an uncaring person it seems the both of you failed to communicate to each other. sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 1270 (view)

Why men wont date independant women Posted: 5/29/2007 6:59:59 PM
dude thats some wild s--t. usually when i meet women that say that (i do not need no man) they usually end up lonely. they forget that humans are RELATIONAL CREATURES. relationships helps us learn about our selves. i find from experience that true independant women DO NOT throw it in your face they just are and that is more attractive than a female running around hollering i am an independant woman. A true independant person is independant even in a relationship.

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 236 (view)

Why do men ruin relationships with video games? Posted: 5/29/2007 6:49:20 PM
Men are visual creatures. usually if i am into a game its because i am trying to figure something out. maybe the women needs to find out whats missing and put it in. there is nothing wrong with a little COMMUNICATION every once and a while or even something nice to take him from the game. plan an event or something.

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

dating a bit of a party girl. am I paranoid or are these red flags? Posted: 5/28/2007 1:17:36 PM
the first mistake you made was to start a new relationship before you settled the last one. you asked toward the end of message, "AM I BEING INSECURE BECAUSE OF RECENTLY FAILED RELATIONSHIPS?" the key is to be honest with yourself and know what you want out of life, what type of female do you want and what qualities etc. remember its not your job to change her, it your job to CREATE YOURSELF and in the process the right one will come along. sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

He dumped me 2x why? Posted: 5/28/2007 1:06:53 PM
hey friend u are asking the right question to the wrong people. the person u should be asking is HIM! that way you can get the answer you seek. "IT CAN'T RAIN ALL THE TIME" sign, learn the game, respect the artform

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Do women really like threesomes Posted: 4/1/2007 8:15:19 PM
why do u wish to disrespect yourself like that?

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

NCAA basketball...especially the ACC Posted: 3/11/2007 1:05:25 PM
tar heels babyall the way

Big Boi

Joined: 7/16/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Guys who say they are going to get a divorce....... Posted: 3/11/2007 1:02:37 PM
The thing she did wrong was to allow the man to cotrol her emotions. decisions based emotions are usually wrong. first she should have waited for the man to get a divorce then she could have stated a real relationship where both parties profit and grow together and she is not being used. second your friend must be secure in herself to the point where she knows she deserves the best. third in most cases the man is not going to up and leave he will usually tell the woman what she wants to hear. last tell your friend she can do better and help her to see that. good luck to ya.

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