whats the deal with strip bars..... chat & forums.

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jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 121 (view)

whats the deal with strip bars..... Posted: 3/25/2007 3:22:36 AM
Never understood it myself. Seen a couple pictures of a nude woman, you get the idea of what a nude woman looks like, whats the point of going to look at someone you can't and may not want to have? I've never been, much as my friends tried to drag to me to them for my 18th and 21st birthdays - just doesn't interest me, plus I feel its related to sex and for me, sex is a private matter, not something for public display.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

What am I in for, at 33 and only one date? Posted: 3/15/2007 9:10:48 PM
I'm really surprised this thread is still going but I guess a number of people have a similar interest in it, and I'm also pleasantly surprised by the number of responses, and their variety, sort of a smorgasboard of tips - taken correctly, I'd imagine just about anyone could "fix" just about any manner of inexperience, heh. Thanks all, for your thoughts and time.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Why do guys not like to sleep in the same bed as one another? Posted: 3/15/2007 4:17:52 PM
I've not seen women holding hands in my area of Oklahoma - even my aunt who is gay, I haven't seen holding hands with her partner. I'm a private person, not used to lots of people, definitly not used to having my personal space invaded, male or female, I'd much prefer sleeping on the floor, both for my own comfort and the other guy's as well, it would just be easier all the way around.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Elusive search: virgins and unicorns Posted: 3/15/2007 3:48:14 PM
I'm watching this thread waiting for someone to admit being a Unicorn! =D But there are enough virgin threads on POF to know that Unicorns are the most elusive of the two, come on.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Suppose you were stuck single forever... Posted: 3/15/2007 3:44:26 PM
Gold has some good points there. And extra points for his roman numeral summarizing. I'm 33, previously-and-currently single and non-physically experienced. If this isn't "forever", its the closest thing. I used to think I couldn't make it, it wasn't worth it, might as well die, if I didn't find that special someone by a certain time, but as the years continued on and that special someone continued her stint in the Witness Relocation Program or wherever she's hiding, I down-Ubu'd on the melodramatics and while I'm not what I could call "normal" or "happy", I'm not morose or suicidal so a lot of it is just perception, apparently.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 238 (view)

Are virgins more attractive? Posted: 3/15/2007 3:35:00 PM
I agree I think the idea of a sexually inexperienced girl is more appealing to me - and less intimidating, I think that is another valid factor, especially since I'm a virgin too. All these "not interested in teaching" ladies that respond to these threads - no pressure! =/

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

why is everyone so concerned about a no pressure first date?? Posted: 3/9/2007 2:04:22 AM
For me, it would be more like "Let's do something we enjoy and try to have fun and if so, great, but don't do the hint-drop thing and have an expectation of 'he-didn't-react-so-he's-not-interested". Just have an evening out and if it went well for both, someone will call the other and plan another and if not, okay.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Dating Male Virgins Posted: 3/9/2007 1:56:28 AM
Odd how the thread devolved into "poking" and "blowing loads". Nice job everyone.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

What am I in for, at 33 and only one date? Posted: 3/8/2007 5:29:30 PM
Thank you all for the encouragement, though I was more just looking for ideas on what the more likely obstacles and things to look out for would be, goodwill and optimism are always welcome. =)

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

why dont men get it? Posted: 3/7/2007 7:54:52 PM
I was told by friends that I missed a number of "signals" on my first (and only) date, but firstly, I am shy/reserved and was unsure about myself and secondly, I'd prefer to get to know a person more before wrestling with them.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

about sex on the first night Posted: 3/7/2007 7:52:22 PM
If/when that situation ever arises (pardon the pun), I don't plan on it (though I can't honestly say I know for certain how I'll reaction or what the situation will be) and would rather spend time getting to know someone and be close to them intellectually and emotionally - sex is just sex without further accompanying feelings, and I have no interest in that.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Dating Male Virgins Posted: 3/7/2007 4:00:06 PM
As many times as almost this exact thread pops up on POF, as much as some people would like to say male virgins are unusual, I'm beginning to get the opposite impression. As far as being older (such as my 33) and being one and not having kissed, I think its fair to say there are likely some sort of issues (I know I have my own), but not necessarily anything major, just things that never were dealt with - a lot of people don't have any incentive or way to deal with some issues, if there is no obvious available potential that suggests they need to do so. As for another post here referring to getting to know if a guy is a headcase before getting involved with him (the guy was a virgin) ... I think you pretty much ALWAYS want to do that kind of pre-planning, don't you?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

why the boob shots? Posted: 3/1/2007 2:00:46 PM
In three pages, the OP has gone from getting some responses and having women argue amongst themselves about his question, to getting equated to a disengenuine Lothario. Tough room. =) As a guy, in a woman's profile, its not a deal breaker but I'd also much prefer a full body pic (in casual clothing) or face or something.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Attitude Adjustment Needed Posted: 3/1/2007 1:49:22 PM
Thanks all. If the "don't be a nice guy" was referring to the kind of "nice guy" idea that a lot of people has that equates to being spineless doormats, I am aware of the distinction, though I don't think I could ever bring myself to be an ass, which seems a bit on the other side of the extreme. Like I said, I'm not really looking for advice specifically about how to get out and meet someone, I know the basics of what needs to be done there, just need to do it. More the problem is the lack of experience and how to deal with IT, with a lady - there is no way to "fake" being smooth and charming/charismatic and attractive if you're clueless about relationships - she's pretty much going to notice. No matter how much I go out, lose weight, learn to dance or whatever, none of that is going to help with my understanding and interpretation and knowing "what to do" at certain times. What I'm wondering is how much will this matter - how likely is this to simply be "too much" for a lady to deal with, in the vein of the "didn't take them to raise/teach" idea I've seen in some virginity threads (though I'm not speaking specifically about that subject, just overall inexperience)?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

What am I in for, at 33 and only one date? Posted: 3/1/2007 3:03:38 AM
I guess more or less I'd just like to get a current idea, from at least POF forum users and members, about this. I guess I'm not really asking for advice per se, but more a general idea of how common some reactions and mindsets and lines of thought are, etc. I'm 33 and have only had one full date in my life (had another partial one but it was so short I don't count it), and we went to see the X-Files movie when it came out, so you can judge how long ago that was - and that date was from the internet, which was ok, it just didn't go anywhere. As indicated above, it can be inferred I am inexperienced in ... any close social relationship (only have a small handful of friends, and tend to avoid people otherwse due to social anxiety etc), and certainly in the more physical aspects - I'm shy though I've done a lot of work at dealing with that and actually managed to ask a girl I worked with out (no dice, alas), so I don't think I'm hopeless, but am pretty "retarded" when it comes to this dating thing. I met a girl online when I was 25 and we exchanged letter, phone calls and packages and I owe a vast majority of what improvement I HAVE made to that experience, but I never did manage to meet her before we drifted apart. I've been on the net for years, seen and read countless posts, on other sites as well as here in the these forums, about romance, dating, relationships, shyness, "nice guys", sex/virginity, pros and cons of "selling yourself" in profiles with honesty vs. creative marketing. I've seen good, solid and relevant questions from guys and gals, and responses from both again, and find it all very helpful to some extent - i've posted in a few threads myself. The general gist I get is that, if/when I meet a girl... well, a lady, I guess - besides my own personal "normal" flaws and faults (shy, overweight, various other things), the lack of experience, of social etiquette, especially in romantic relationships, could hinder or cripple my ability to progress, to develop a solid, meaningful relationship with that special someone - if not by her own discomfort at me being so naive and unschooled, then by my own tendancy to be oblivious to some things, looks, moods, hints and gestures, etc. Basically, how bad a position or path am I looking at, from this angle, and are there any truisms or experiences or personal opinions anyone can offer which might suggest some ways to overcome or deal with my missing out on an important formative period of my life? Thanks for your time and in advance, for any replies.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 231 (view)

virginity.....should it really be a big deal? Posted: 2/2/2007 2:44:25 AM
Wow, those multi-post bits of wisdom above from dbz ... they strike me as... well I guess the point of this isn't to say how someone else's advice appears to me, but I would like to take issue with, oh, about 90% of it and wish people like this would be a little more thoughtful in their responses, rather than suggest people who don't have sex are going to either commit suicide or rape someone.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

What's with the C word? Posted: 11/22/2006 9:36:06 AM
strikes me as pretty damned crude, even for a "naughty" whispering session.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Zany Random Item Generator Posted: 10/5/2006 6:13:15 PM
Enjoy and post any you think are good. =) http://www.zanysite.com/toys/rndgen.php

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

why is it if a woman is sexy she is cheap or trashy lol;; Posted: 9/12/2006 2:29:25 PM
What's at work here seems to be people that post "proud of their bodies" pics and are continually surprised and frustrated when people respond to them based on that - fair or not, you reap what you sow - you post pics of your breasts, take a wild guess the kind of people you attract. Have some common sense.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

first date- he farts in the restaurant!! Posted: 9/11/2006 2:05:25 PM
So, did he first mention he was Larry the Cable Guy before you met or did he leave that off his profile?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 232 (view)

Tatoos on a women turn on or turn off Posted: 9/9/2006 10:51:34 PM
SWEET! My first virtual hate... post! Well, guys I really don't care about, since I'm not John Inman, of course, though I was disappointed when a friend of mine recently went through his mid-life crisis and is now getting tattooes and riding a motorcycle, smoking and drinking etc. I think if people have the 'right' to mutilate themselves and I have the right to not like it, its an equitable trade and it would seem to be in the best interest of both to go for disclosure of that type - same with piercings. And for the record, I don't hang out in bars or clubs, nor do I 'spout off' unless I'm involved in a conversation, as forum threads basically are open conversations, available to anyone. And fear not about me rejecting someone for your tattoos, chances are, I'd reject them for many many more and even better reasons, beforehand - reactionary ego-centric handwaving being one of them.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Are Younger Guys Considered Losers b/c of Lack of Experience? Posted: 9/9/2006 4:02:18 PM
I attempted to start this exact same thread recently and for some reason it was deleted, so its interesting to see these replies, though I'm 33, a bit older than the OP.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 226 (view)

Tatoos on a women turn on or turn off Posted: 9/9/2006 3:59:04 PM
I think by a certain age, people should be past the age where they think they have to express themselves through self mutilation to "show" that they are outgoing - if you're outgoing, BE outgoing, don't pay someone carve up and grafitti your skin. But I agree its a personal preference on both ends and its best if someone that doesn't like tattoos knows that someone they are talking to has one (and vice versa), so they can both decide if there is enough potential to continue talking, as it may turn out that there may be some interpersonal issues between the two will preclude much of a relationship.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

good girls or bad wild girls? Posted: 9/9/2006 3:54:35 PM
I think the question is silly - who would not want to be with a good person, over a "bad wild" person?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Girl + Girl ...Is this understandable? Posted: 9/2/2006 4:07:57 PM
When you're serious about someone, you'll get over this phase and not have to wonder if you can have your cake and eat it too - until then, this is all just juvenile melodrama.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

U knew it was comin, all virgins say I. Posted: 9/2/2006 11:44:34 AM
Do I... show this "V" card to someone or get my hand stamped or what?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Girl + Girl ...Is this understandable? Posted: 9/2/2006 11:36:25 AM
I have to agree, this was definitely something that should have been on the table when you went into the relationship with him - I luckily had someone do that for me before we developed a relationship, so I was able to bow out (not gracefully, as it was my first experience) because monogomy is a must for me.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

Still a virgin!? Posted: 9/1/2006 10:16:59 AM
Thats more or less me as well - doesn't mean not interested in intimacy though.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 154 (view)

virginity.....should it really be a big deal? Posted: 8/30/2006 10:05:35 AM
Well Slim, better luck next time, more or less the same thing happened to me, ah well. And as for the above post by Dru, isn't it so selfless and kind of people to so graciously offer to help "fix" you? There's that goodwill of Man again. =/ As for the DIRECTLY above post - a "crusty"? Thanks...

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

Breast Implants Posted: 8/29/2006 2:40:32 PM
Aren't there enough artifical people in the world already, without WILLINGLY getting the cybernetic enhancements?

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

40 year old virgin question? Posted: 8/27/2006 8:52:18 PM
But there seem to be relatively few posts like Teal's, and a lot more that do seem to be pretty condemning of an "older" virgin, unfortunately. Though I do note that there does seem to be an undercurrent of the guys being "relationship virgins" as well, indicating that they're damaged goods, defective, imbalanced, etc. That's kind of harsh. I haven't seen the movie because it looked stupid and insulting and misses the entire point of most people's real issues, and I just can't enjoy a movie I can't identify or sympathize with.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Still a virgin!? Posted: 8/27/2006 8:25:28 PM
Sounds like you need a blog. But seriously, you admittedly REALIZE your problems, and that YOU are continuing some of them, with bad self talk and being overcritical of your own image - that is NOT attractive or compelling to women - YOU have to work on yourself FIRST so YOU are okay with you, otherwise it won't matter who you're with, YOU won't be okay with THEM - I have learned this, and am learning this, from experience. Put energy and effort into forward progress, don't criticize yourself on your failures or lack, but credit yourself on your achievement and realize it CAN be done, regardless of your past - you are your OWN person and you've overcome so MUCH and can overcome so much MORE. I'm a virgin more or less by lack of dates as well but that doesn't mean I would intentionally lose it just because I was able to - I've had it this long, why the hell just throw it away now when I can at least save it for someone I trust and have it mean something to me.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Lets be HONEST Posted: 8/26/2006 8:59:33 PM
Wait. Now I'm interested in this thread...

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Is this torture to a guy? Posted: 8/26/2006 3:10:54 AM
I agree with Jon, I hardly see how being close to someone, sharing intimacy of that level, could be considered "torture". Sounds to me like a lot of people would be cracking and giving away friendly military positions to the enemy when they break out the icepick.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Lets be HONEST Posted: 8/26/2006 3:07:59 AM
It would likely depend on how REALISTIC the idea of "getting her back" was. If you really couldn't see it happening, then I would think you'd find the ability to recover and go on to the next relationship. But I don't believe in casual sex.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 148 (view)

virginity.....should it really be a big deal? Posted: 8/24/2006 7:41:01 PM
At some point it WILL be their business...

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Do straight guys secretly yearn to kiss another man full-on? Posted: 8/24/2006 5:33:50 PM
And don't tell me that some straight guys don't like the soft touch of another man's lips. News flash: Some straight guys don't like the soft touch of another man's lips. I'd even go so far as to say that NO straight guys "like" this - and I'll even be so bold as to speak for other straight guys who have chosen not to post here. As everyone else has said, if you DO like that, great, fine, huzzah - but you're no longer straight - enjoy your complimentary toaster!

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

why your guys wanna give the females phone call instead of chat? Posted: 8/24/2006 5:17:30 PM
I personally don't like the phone, even to talk to my friends, so I prefer chat, but when I was talking to a girl a few years back, I enjoyed speaking to her on the phone some, it did have a personal touch, and it made my ear tickle. But I don't think there's anything wrong with chat. Good luck.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Asking for sex.... Posted: 8/23/2006 12:42:34 PM
Crisis averted and problem solved, apparently. Good job, Hall of Justice! =)

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

why would you say I'm sorry & are you mad at me? Posted: 8/23/2006 12:30:11 PM
I was like that with someone I had never met, just talked to on the net and over the phone and although it was hurtful and embarassing, one day she finally "went off" on me and my saying sorry and asking what I had done wrong. Me (and likely the guy in the OP's example) really has no idea its tedious and offturning, as it was a part of my life and outlook - it was "natural". Not until someone finally told me "Hey, thats really annoying and pathetic" did I look at it from an objective point of view and say "Well, I'll be - that IS annoying!" I can't imagine if I'd been on the reciving end of that! So while I'm grateful for the lesson, we lost touch and I admit I probably wouldn't have been very good for much anyway at that time, I still had a lot to learn - and no, I hadn't had any previous girlfriends (and still haven't, sadly) - I was just insecure and trying to "keep a friend" by making sure I hadn't done something wrong - not realizing that DOING so was "doing something wrong".

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 128 (view)

Can you have a normal relationship with a psychic??? Posted: 8/23/2006 12:05:34 PM
Reminds me of a cartoon in a newspaper I saw once, it had a pic of a guy and gal driving in a car. The next panel the woman slaps the guy and looks all upset. Dating a psychic might suck. Still, weirdest thread I've seen here, congratulations.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Admit to lack of experience? Posted: 8/22/2006 9:44:07 PM
I agree its not necessary to advertise he's a virgin, as that can even have other undertones like "I'm desparate for sex", not a signal I imagine he's wanting to send out. I do, however, put that I'm inexperienced in dating (though this is personal preferences, some people might advise against that) - that way whomever knows I'm not going to be Captain Smooth and if/when they find out the rest, it won't be as big a surprise. I feel giving people some advanced warning is good for both you and them.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Do straight guys secretly yearn to kiss another man full-on? Posted: 8/21/2006 10:23:41 PM
No, thing to prove, and no I don't have any gay friends, though I do have an aunt that is... something or other... gay or bisexual. And I too, like the above poster, am not comfortable with the idea of a bisexual woman - I talked to one once for a while and she was nice but I could not get past it, and as some would say, probably my loss, but I accept that. "Thinking" about kissing a man does not mean anything, I agree - but this idea of "wanting" or "yearning" or even wondering, more than once or twice in your life, to do so crosses the line - I don't have anything against gay people in particular, though I'll admit I'd probably be somewhat uncomfortable around some, since its definitely out of my element and I believe a person's sexuality is something that should be kept to themselves and their intimates and not be a "public" issue. I mourn for the loss of modesty in our world.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

Do straight guys secretly yearn to kiss another man full-on? Posted: 8/21/2006 12:26:44 PM
I think there are some straight guys who would kiss Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. By definition, straight guys would not kiss Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Snoop Dog or Abraham Lincoln. The key term here is "straight", which is Greek for "Hell NO dude I ain't kissing no guy, WTF is wrong with you?!" I think you're confusing "admire and envy handsome celebrities" with "want to engage other guys in a Greco-Roman Liplock like I was the Hulkster". In a word, no. And in another word, pfft.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

What makes a woman intimidating?????????????? Posted: 8/20/2006 11:34:34 PM
I agree with a lot of the men's answers, and also that its a matter of the man's own insecurities, so it will be subjective, relevant to his situation. As for me, I'm intimidated by the overly pretty, sensual, extremely confident women, and I also equate them, in my mind, negatively, probably as a defense mechanism, which makes me not like them - to some extent, the same with very actively professional and successful women. But I have a fair amount to be insecure and self-conscious about, though I try not to wear it on my sleeve.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Do men cry at chick flicks? Posted: 8/20/2006 11:21:33 PM
I try not to watch what most people call "chick flicks". But yes, I cried at Beaches, but I also cried at Armageddon, Narnia, Lord of the Rings... I think I'll stop now...

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Do guys want nice women or the ones who will jump in the sack with you when you first meet them? Posted: 8/20/2006 10:06:15 PM
Not me - nice is just fine. Affectionate, but not "horny".

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Do guys want nice women or the ones who will jump in the sack with you when you first meet them? Posted: 8/20/2006 3:11:24 PM
I agree with Ikusa. I'd like a "nice girl" and the longest term relationship. No interest in any sort of short (or shorter) term "encounters" or phases and while I think sex is usually a part of a healthy relationship, its not really that important to me either.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Do straight guys secretly yearn to kiss another man full-on? Posted: 8/19/2006 9:59:19 PM
If this topic leads you to that question... there is a misfire in your synapse somewhere and the train of thought has jumped the tracks and gone to Pluto. I can honestly say I've never though to myself "Oh BOY, the DOCTOR!", whether I was 3 or 33.

jpneok

Joined: 7/20/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Do straight guys secretly yearn to kiss another man full-on? Posted: 8/19/2006 7:21:37 PM
STAY IN THE CLOSET, OP, and don't try to drag us totally straight, not-at-all-homosexual-and-yet-confident-in-our-masculinity-regardless-of-how-defensive-we-seem guys down with you - give me boobies!

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