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randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

I think she's one of those scams Posted: 6/18/2007 3:13:45 PM
I just met somebody on here last week form Brazil. She said she was from Lithuainia, studied in Cambridge, New York, and was now in Brazil teaching English. Of course she was this gorgeous, young Bohemian artist 15 years my junior whose photos were not studio but looked legitimate. I was smitten. She gave me a Brazilian phone number and we talked a little on the phone and all seemed great - but a little too great. Am I too really think that Lithuania is another dimension where young girls like dating men their father's age? Beautiful women who live within driving distance seem to really like men close to their own age. I have dated somebody once who was 20 years younger than me once but that was rare. But the greater question is with all the men she could certainly have no trouble meeting since her pictures showed someone beautiful and gregarious, why would she fall for a guy half way around the world who is overweight, old, and balding? I read a list from a site about date scams with about 50 things to look for if you suspect a scam. One was if they ask for money and you refuse they quickly end the phone call. Keep in mind, I only met her on line for a week, we had about 4 email interchanges on POF. I even gave her my personal email but she always used POF. But I thought it was all legit since she gave me her phone number. We had 2 ten minute conversations on the phone Well, this is what finally happened: She was all excited about me and wanted to get a plane to Chicago from Brazil and fly out to see me. She seemed a little sheepish as if she was knew this was hard to ask. "Isn't this a little soon?" I asked, " You hardly know me." She flirted, "Don't you think this way will be a great way to get to know each other?" Concerned, I asked, "Yes, but don't you need to book a flight at least 2 weeks in advance before you fly? Otherwise, it will cost a fortune." "Oh, I have a travel agent who can get me a good deal. But I'm going to need your help to purchase the ticket." I thought to myself, "Oh no, here it comes." But aloud I asked, "How so?" "To buy the ticket." She said. "You mean you need me to help you PAY for the ticket?" "Yes." Laughingly, but kindly, I said, "I can't do that. I 'm poor actor!" Then she said quickly, "Well, I'll see if I can get a deal from my travel agent. I'll let you know. " CLICK I sent her an email saying that I didn't appreciate what I perceived about this whole thing: Something that was too good to be true was indeed too good to be true. She sent an email back saying that I misunderstood her and that I could still call her anytime. I so wish this were true because I said to myself, "This is my future wife." She was just like the women I used to date back when I was young and handsome but was too stupid to appreciate them. She was beautiful, artsy, smart, and outgoing. It was like a second chance to go back in time but this time do it right. I wanted to deny what my gut was telling me. I wanted to believe the illusion. I still want to call her but why doesn't she call or use my other email address? She was canceled from POF. I guess they recognized the pattern better than I did. Right on top of the reply page they post: DO NOT SEND ANYONE MONEY!

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

What evidence do we have that the historical Jesus lived? Posted: 4/12/2007 8:19:04 PM
http://www.probe.org/content/view/18/77/

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!! Posted: 10/24/2006 8:06:47 AM
Yeah, well , you got your refund but the result is a major bash against EHarmony. I just won a free 3 month membership and because I didn't put a location restriction on my match preferences I have been getting flooded with matches. I have been on it before and received fewer matches but all of them that I actually met were good potentials but none of them stuck; which can happen anywhere. I have had absolutely no luck here POF. They say my profile is good and I'm not a bad looking guy - whatever. I'm just not checking it everyday. There does seem to be a plethera of "no photos". And they have a "reveal photo later" option that perhaps is not a bad idea. If I saw a photo of a real hottie I might overlook her ultra conservativism or some other negative trait just to date her "looks".

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

what does christian - other mean to YOU? Posted: 10/13/2006 7:14:39 PM
The options listed for religions could be improved - at least for the Christian. A more accurate list might be better off sounding more general; e.g.: Christian/Catholic, Christian/Protestant, or Christian/Non-Denominational. That way, a choice between these simple options reveal more about a Christian's beliefs. To be specific with only 3 or 4 denomonations and then having one blanket option is like having a list of cities as: Chicago, New York, Boston, Orlando, Las Vegas, or City - other. These religious labels are almost a meaningless pre-sort feature. One can tell by reading the body of the profile to what degree someone values God in their life. Do they mention God at all or do they sound like they are in dire need of a soap box and a bull horn?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 251 (view)

Let T-Rex review your profile...I'll be gentle..hehehe Posted: 10/12/2006 7:15:17 PM
Okay, let me have it. I was about to delete my profile but then I saw this. So let me know if you can help me improve my profile. I try to be humorous. I figured humor is a good litmus test. I get few responses though with no succesful connections. It's either I'm interested and she's not or vice versa. Thanks in advance!

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Advice needed Posted: 9/28/2006 7:02:19 AM
4) how many friends do you have that are 39 and will you enjoy hanging out in a room full of them? Good point. I forgot about that. I have friends older and younger out of my generation but not everybody can handle that. Imagine a party of 20 somethings and someone's parent being there. I've been 6 years older than some and have been given the older man brush off. You may be fine with it but consider group awkwardness. It COULD work if you both felt like - "I don't care what other's think". Just think, you could reap all those senior discounts early!

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Advice needed Posted: 9/28/2006 6:50:42 AM
1) I agree stranger things have and will happen. The internet is modern technology's freaky way to meet people, let's face it. If you made several attempts to reconnect, any normal person would understand leaving a cell phone at home. I do it all the time and my work depends on it. Secondly, if he's that moody and easily hurt this could be a harbinger of things to come. 2) Being an old fart myself (47) I would be thrilled to date a younger woman. Although, I had my heart broken when I was 42 and dated a 21 year old - she was very fickle and it didn't last long. Realize too that when you are over 40, you start aging in dog years. 5 years in my age bracket looks a helluva lot different than someone in their 20's. Other than that, if you like him, why not?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 201 (view)

When someone has artist as their profession..... Posted: 9/26/2006 8:47:54 PM
Not that I care, but where can one find one of these wonderful sounding so called "food banks"?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 200 (view)

When someone has artist as their profession..... Posted: 9/26/2006 8:46:47 PM
Even though I have been a sucessful performer since 1992. at paties I tell people that I sell plastic flanges and washers to manufacturing reps in the construction industry just to get a little respect.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 304 (view)

I'm Not Attracted To Men My Age.... * Posted: 9/25/2006 8:46:33 PM
Who isn't attracted to younger people? Maybe its just the "Hot older men" don't contact me because they are looking for the younger gals. or maybe it's because you're settings prohibit my gender (male) AND age group (47)! I just tried emailing you!

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 302 (view)

I'm Not Attracted To Men My Age.... * Posted: 9/25/2006 8:38:47 PM
If I could get up I'd smack you. Uh oh, I think I just had an accident - you know - in my pants. Darn it! Listen... you kids...who...who...

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

A BIG turnoff... Posted: 9/24/2006 7:54:02 PM
I wanted to see who this cad was dissing and checked out your profile. I GUESS you are goodlooking. You have such tiny images in those nature photos and the other one is of your back!!! Well there appears to be what might be presumed to be a good looking blonde holding a football in front of her, who's wearing a hat and a big sweatshirt. Sorry the bum had no manners. Even though you had teeny weeny pictures I went back for a couple of extra looks at your cute face for what it's worth.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet? Posted: 9/23/2006 8:40:02 AM
Yes, the threads here seem to agree that porn is not big deal for most people. Why haven't I met any of these women? ha ha

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

How would you respond to this? Posted: 9/23/2006 8:03:01 AM
Sure we could choose to love anyone and make it work. But we don't live in the days of arranged marriages or the old west with mail order marriages when potential mates were scarce. Also I have a hard time accepting equating being attracted to someone with letting emotions run your life. What's next? "I love Chinese food." vs. "Don't let emotions run your life, man." "This real estate deal seems risky" vs. "Don't let emotions run your life, man." "I don't trust that babysitter" vs. "Don't let emotions run your life, man."

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

The Subject - Depression/Self Pity and the Women Hate it Posted: 9/20/2006 10:53:50 PM
Pained people tend to find each other. I think just because I see a happy cute woman on a website she sould go for me. But she often doesn't. If you are a person committed to growth and willing to face up to the challenges of life instead of running from them you may start to see more and more good in the world, in yourself, and others. When I was in college I wanted to paint my bedroom black because I thought it would be cool. I was also suicidal and hated life. After years of counseling and God's healing hand (tons of love and healing are available when you discover who Jesus Christ is) I now weep at how much I am loved instead of how much I hate life. At 47 I painted my bedroom Sunflower yellow because now I think THAT is cool. Keep growing and I'm confident the Scarecrow will get a heart.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet? Posted: 9/18/2006 9:43:35 PM
Yeah, yeah, so many guys say the same old thing, "porn is normal, blah, blah" and the gals "Oh, I'd join him". I'd like to know why I have never met any of these women! Much like addictions to food, work, spending, etc. seemingly innocent practices like looking at porn on the internet for SOME can be extremely addictive and disastrous. You see, if I get used to a sexual, daily, high of hour-plus-long, internet "parades" of images of gorgeous teenage girls going at it with each other (a personal favorite), all the while "taking matters into my own hands", keeping my sexual adrenaline peaked out to the max, for as long as I like or have the time for, how long do you think, even though now I have a live, in person girlfriend, before I'm going to miss that rush? Why doesn't Playboy have the same models month after month? Why are there always new girls featured every month? That's the trouble with porn. It IS indeed hotter than hell! What guy wouldn't love it? For SOME, however, it can be a trap - FOR SOME! It would be worth it do some research on sexual/porn addiction and talk about it with him in a NON-JUDGEMENTAL way.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

can anybody? Posted: 9/16/2006 10:53:56 PM
yes. Some of these things anyway. Feel free to email me if you wish to talk to someone. In the meantime: 1. Pray, God is always listening. 2. Talk to a good friend 3. Induldge yourself and watch or read something entertaining. Your favorite books, author, magazines, movies, TV, shows - your guilty pleasures - no matter how mindless or childish! 4. Listen to your favorite music. Music is so powerful. 5. Write down what's going on in your life right now - keep a journal 6. Make a list of fun (but healthy) things that you that you love to do and do some of them. 7. Exercise - it produces natural endorphins to your brain which make you feel better. Ever heard of the "runner's high"? 8. Clean the bathtub, set up some candles, have some great music on, and take a nice hot bubble bath. You'll feel like you are at a spa. 9. pet a dog or a cat - they love to be brushed and will shower you with love and be so appreciative 10. If you are creative, this is the best time to use your art. Pain is what art is intended to medicate. Play music, write, paint, draw, create, sculpt, plant, design Part of Psalm 23 in the Bible reads,in verse 4 " Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. The whole Psalm is pretty good. The Word of God is extremely powerful. I became a Christian at a very early age yet my teenage years and young adulthood were some of the most painful and depressing times of my life. I would venture to say it is for many the hardest times of one's whole life. Each day I would wake up and think, "Damn it! I'm still alive!" Even though I had a very strong faith in God. My roommate in college recommended seeing a counselor when, after a painful break up, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. They had a sliding fee counseling service for students and I started going regularly. I had so much pain stored up inside of me from chidhood. I had no idea there was so much wrapped up in all of that. For many years I have worked through a lot of crap. It was very hard but eventually as I explored may past with a counselor a lot of deep wounds were uncovered and eventually healed. Unexplained craziness and pain soon became clear and understandable. Life gets better. It really does. As I look back, I see a lot of good things came from the painful times - my humor, creatvity, and sensitivity. The "now" can suck really bad for a multitude of reasons. Add to that the particular time of life that you are in and the stress is doubled. There are seasons of the soul - good and bad, easy and difficult, painful and joyful, exciting and boring, etc. Try to surf those times - try to not let them get the better of you.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 204 (view)

Why do married men masturbate? Posted: 9/15/2006 10:38:33 PM
I think if he'd quit watching porn she WOULD become more desirable. She already said she would MAKE a porn with him. She doesn't sound prudish. The porn MAY have to go. Yes, and do all the other costume and prop stuff. Porn life can be like cocaine to the wrong person. It is like a gateway drug. And the drug is one's own body chemistry! It's something at least to consider.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 195 (view)

Why do married men masturbate? Posted: 9/14/2006 9:14:56 PM
Most people have no idea about the possibility of being addicted to porn. Sure for many porn and masturbation is harmless fun but for others it can work as compensatory behavior. I have had similar overindulgence issues with money and food which also are very tricky because everyone also eats and spends money. All my girlfriends have been babes and into kinky stuff but eventually I became bored and would start supplementing with the jacked up fantasy porn provides - under my own control - literally at my fingertips. Alas, I'm 47 and still single. Help!! Here are my relevant comments from a different forum: why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 9/13/2006 10:03:36 PM 1) Men are visually stimulated 2) The plethera of porn doesn't help. Porn can so easily lead us guys astray. It is unfortunate but I have "trained" myself to be more sexually turned on looking at porn than being with a real woman. If not more turned on by, certainly feeling safer with sex from this observational standpoint where I can stay far enough removed so I can get my jollies without the risk of getting rejected. Hence, staring and glancing at passing babes is even safer still but able to increase those ever lovin' endorphins of mine. For me, I would be terrified to cheat on my girlfriend and would likewise be crushed if she cheated on me. The object of "looking" is really for the endorphin rush. I have always thought/hoped that I could meet some girl who just liked to "look" with me but I have met none! All the really hot girlfriends I had were also very jealous of my, albeit "mental", harems. I am presently working on said issue and limiting/avoiding any porn altogether.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Have not even met and have 15 text messages from him. Huh? Posted: 9/14/2006 8:54:17 PM
A polite rejection, albeit a lie, yet an actual possibility, is "I'm sorry, Joe, there has been someone else with whom I've been talking as well and we think we might have something. I know it may sound rude but if it doesn't work out can I call you later?"

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 9/13/2006 10:03:36 PM
1) Men are visually stimulated 2) The plethera of porn doesn't help. Porn can so easily lead us guys astray. It is unfortunate but I have "trained" myself to be more sexually turned on looking at porn than being with a real woman. If not more turned on by, certainly feeling safer with sex from this observational standpoint where I can stay far enough removed so I can get my jollies without the risk of getting rejected. Hence, staring and glancing at passing babes is even safer still but able to increase those ever lovin' endorphins of mine. For me, I would be terrified to cheat on my girlfriend and would likewise be crushed if she cheated on me. The object of "looking" is really for the endorphin rush. I have always thought/hoped that I could meet some girl who just liked to "look" with me but I have met none! All the really hot girlfriends I had were also very jealous of my, albeit "mental", harems. I am presently working on said issue and limiting/avoiding any porn altogether.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 966 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 9/13/2006 8:41:10 AM
ProphetPx makes an awesome point but I think we are talking about dating here and not judging one's innate worth as a human being. As I said before, in this "on line" medium we don't get those "in person" nuances. In real life, I have been attracted to fat women and plain looking gals who had that "certain something" that made them really hot. I am not 20 years old anymore. At 47, I feel like I am aging in dog years now. And I'm sorry but I don't think I'm going to be turned on by someone who looks like Aunt Bea and wears those polyester pants with those embroidered sweaters with snowmen on them. And I probably won't have that much in common with them;not to mention the other side of the coin - the biker chick with tons of make up, smokes, and an atheist. Pictures do reveal more than looks. Why NOT weed out possible non-compatibles? If we are not to prejudge, hell, why bother to have even a written profile? What if I my profile was simply "Hello! Date me."?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 964 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 9/13/2006 7:56:25 AM
I am so skeptical of "no photo"-ers. Shallow shmallow! Listen, if I was "porking out" I'd be reluctant to show a pic. But since I am working out a lot, I can't wait to post newer pictures. Let's face it though, as I said in a different post, in this "on line" medium we don't get those "in person" nuances that may make us more attractive when one meets us face to face. In the meantime, why hide your face?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

What do men really find SEXY? Posted: 9/11/2006 10:24:38 PM
Here's a couple things: 1) Observing a woman who is doing something she is really good at. 2) A straight woman who entertains fantasies about other women. 3) A great womanly butt and those wide hips.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

massaging herself Posted: 9/11/2006 10:02:04 PM
That's too bad. I would love it if my woman did that. That would make me hotter! To each their own, I guess.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

plenty of misfish Posted: 9/10/2006 8:56:05 AM
This may seem like a stupid example of successful dating advice but I saw this episode of the animated sit-com "KIng of the Hill" the other day and I thought it was worthwhile. The mumbling, ladies-man character, Boomhauer, known for always "makin' it with the chicks" revealed his secret with women to the broken hearted adolescent character, Bobby. He demonstrated his technique trying to "work his charm" on some gals at a local shoestore. It took 23 harsh rejections until he finally got one phone number from a flattered and interested respondant. Rejection after rejection, undaunted, he kept on going. Again, this was a cartoon, but I know myself, when I get a "mini crush" on someone, make a "mini emotional investment", express interest, like I do on an internet dating site, and get a negative response, it lets a little air out of my sails. Too early, I fear, do I throw in the towel and curl up into bitterness and sadness and start to devalue myself. Well, who in the heck wants to date some bitter old Scrooge? Only the rescuing type who soon become tiresome with their so called selflessness. Perhaps I could focus my energy a little more on myself; lose some weight, exercise, get in the best shape of my life, get right with God, ANYthing to keep the wind blowing in my own sails instead of depending on someone else to keep my "boat afloat" . Isn't it often the case that the most successful people in life are not the most talented or beautiful but the most persistent?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Witnessed this online date in a restaurant yesterday! Posted: 9/9/2006 1:06:15 PM
Wowweee! That was really something! What a weird experience! You must be shaking! I'm glad we can all be here for you.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Reuniting with someone I didn't want to break up with Posted: 9/9/2006 1:02:32 PM
Depending on how badly you still want her - get going! Start rebuilding before this other schmoe makes you look bad. If she won't come back, chalk it up to experience. Maybe some personal counseling or checking in with some good friends will help you deal with your life issues.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 209 (view)

Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....? Posted: 9/7/2006 8:21:41 AM
For me, I'm visually stimulated as well as personality attracted. Unfortunately, in the on-line world, it is harder to communicate those nuances of personality that override one's looks. I have been very attracted to plain looking women who had that certain something that turned me on. I'm not going to get that on line, I don't think. Plus, do you really want absolute honesty? Do you really want me to be "man enough", as you put it, and say, "Dear Angel, You know I was really interested in you but then I saw your face and...well...YIKES! All the best to you!" There is no polite way of putting it. In some cases I have lied and said that I met someone else. Is that better? If I was on the receiving end I would prefer being ignored. The message is clear enough without the cold slap of reality. Hang in there, sweetheart!

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

what is wrong with men Posted: 9/1/2006 10:07:40 PM
are all online guys just looking for a good time. i mean arent there guys who actually want a loving woman? Yes, I actually want a loving woman, sure...who will show me a good time! (har dee har har har!)

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 1393 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 9/1/2006 9:29:34 PM
I did meet one woman once where I felt that. I was so smitten with her that waiting for her would be a no brainer. "For you? If I could have you forever I'd wait for you no problem." It would be like if putting a hundred dollars in the bank now would guarentee me a million in one year who wouldn't?

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Death during the email phase? Posted: 8/29/2006 6:18:17 PM
Take care of yourself and the others affected by this loss first. Someone close to you just died for heaven's sake. Anyone worth their salt will understand. On second thought there is this one woman I want to let off easy and this could be an easy way to bow out without having to ... no! Just kidding.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 121 (view)

OK< a challenge on the weight thing.... Posted: 8/4/2006 9:30:37 PM
I feel that I cannot demand that my date be in shape if I am not. I struggle with that and am now hitting the gym after over 10 years of sloughing off. Being in shape also means more than looks. It may also possibly indicate health, discipline, and self love. As being out of shape may possibly indicate neglect, overeating as a compensatory behavior, and lack of self love. And how one loves themselves may be an important indicator on how much they are able to love others.

randyseyes

Joined: 7/26/2006

Msg: 1294 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 8/4/2006 9:22:49 PM
Definitely! I met this woman from Australia for whom I fell head over heels. I was shocked to realize that I actually was so hot for her that I thought, "If I could be with her for the rest of my life, without a doubt I would wait for her." Unfortunately, our lifestyles and beliefs were a bit off from each other so we never made a go of it.

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