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Author
Thread: If she only had one Condom, a potential relationship could have been saved.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
191 (
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)
If she only had one Condom, a potential relationship could have been saved.
Posted:
7/22/2007 9:22:04 AM
Hmmm...only a vending machine on the bedroom wall should have been a cause for concern...and maybe even that would have a good explanation.
I throw my pocket change in a bucket everyday, that does not make me a coin collector.
Guess we would not have all of these threads if people actually talked out their insecurities instead of just having gut (over) reactions.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
42 (
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Young people and jazz
Posted:
7/19/2007 8:28:47 PM
A few random thoughts on this...
Smooth Jazz can often be the same as what used to be Muzac (cheesy elevator/Dentist office music)...or it can be just like the greats (e.g. Coltrane) playing Standards...all depends on the virtuosity/soul/intent of the players.
At least in the small group setting (which might be the only "true" jazz group), Jazz is about the improvisational conversation that is going on among the players. Just about everything else is about performance skills, being able to read down the part to perfection with a minimum of the player's personality showing up. Not about interaction as much as about precision.
I'm also thinking that Jazz historically has a parallel to oral traditions, storytelling, e.g. listening to and learning from other players...the environments post WWII in NYC, Paris, etc. that produced the Coltranes, Parkers, Miles, Dizzys etc.
To the OP, in recent decades where production values often exceed creativity, an environment where the video is as important as the music, and where it is more important that all the players and vocalists must be "beautiful people" I expect it is not easy to recognize the elements that make Jazz such a vibrant thing... Hard to make the leap from slick entertainment that is pitched as "Jazz" to the true art.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
43 (
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Are you guys socialized to be passive-aggressive?
Posted:
7/18/2007 10:47:14 PM
To Orioles' post:
Thanks much for posting the definition!
"If I say no s/he's going to cry or yell at me, so I'm going to say yes and I'll figure something out later when the threat is past."
Agree with this, and its most often not done consciously! (which is still not an excuse for doing it!)
You wanted me to x..
I did not want to x or agree to x..
But since I/you/we could not discuss x openly/rationally/unemotionally...
I'll push all your buttons big time..the whole time I'm x'ing (and then some!)...
You will then have an epiphany, and understand that I did not want to do x!!!
(and of course we will both now feel great about how good we are at communicating!)
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
102 (
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Ladies take control....
Posted:
7/18/2007 10:03:36 PM
Kermit is now uncomfortable...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
100 (
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Ladies take control....
Posted:
7/18/2007 9:48:17 PM
My experience is that the type of guys who respond to my advance were passive in regard to the relationship and in alot of areas.
Maybe they did not want a relationship and passivity was just a way out? (See other thread on passive/agressive behavior).
Do you slack on your attentiveness and willingness to give it your all if a woman makes the first move? Is it uncomfortable?
Being a non-Thog kinda guy I tend to think the "Thog/Pursuer" and "Playing hard to get" roles/behaviors are way too overplayed. (Maybe I'm too rational/logical for my own good!) A little of the "Thog and the Princess" is fine...who doesn't like a little "tension building".. but as a rulebook?.. LOL
OK...experiment...someone show me some CLEAR interest and I'll report back to the thread on how uncomfortable it was...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
37 (
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Are you guys socialized to be passive-aggressive?
Posted:
7/18/2007 9:13:55 PM
Could be that this is what many "nice guys" are really about, at least from what you read in some posts...Janets got a point...
Suppressed emotion has to go somewhere...men & women are equal practitioners of passive/agressive behaviors given a situation where they have not dealt with a bigger emotional issue.
Anyone who has given/received this behavior should realize that having a "senior moment" etc. as an explanation of passive/aggressive behavior is no excuse. You owe it to yourself (and your SO) to recognize when you are playing this game and deal with the real issue.
People are blatant jerks and a$$es everyday without being conscious of it....should people who do the same things in a "subtle" passive/agressive way be cut any more slack?...be less responsible for their behavior?...its impact?
I've given/taken this stuff in the past...done my own share of "Senior Moment" behaviors as well as having my "buttons" liberally pushed...hope to have fewer to 0 of both in the future.
To an earlier post, I wish it was as simple as a vitamin deficiency...
And as far as a "The Slime that Men Do" talk show theme, I don't think we need a conspiracy theory for this folks...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
72 (
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Ladies take control....
Posted:
7/17/2007 5:06:56 PM
The next step is tricky, but it comes from self confidence and odds - you let it go. You cannot change what you can't control. You literally move on to other things and put the guy out of your mind, which you should be able to comfortably do, because you did everything you could on your part. IF you are too worried about the outcome of what you do, none of it will work.
To uglybetty: The above quote and the rest of your post crack me up. Change the he to she, the guy to gal, and you have pretty much the standard recommendation for guys online.
Show CLEAR interest (e.g. be complimentary, notice things in a profile or post, give a CLEAR indication that you want to "engage")
Then let it go...that is; don't beg, be needy, whiny, desperate, etc. "all that nice guy, wussy" stuff...
This works for both sexes, and no, it will not eliminate the "WTF...why don't they write back to me" threads...simply because people do NOT let it go.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
62 (
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Ladies take control....
Posted:
7/16/2007 10:02:38 PM
And I'm sure (sometimes) when I get an email from a guy, there may be a dozen others that receive the same one but the name has been changed... and I KNOW you know what I'm talking about, so don't deny it.
LOL...Too many salespeople playing a "numbers" game. My preference is getting acceptance (or rejection) from someone that had a profile or post that I was more than superficially interested in. I'd rather work on "the big deal" vs. a bunch of "little deals".
I broke the ice, flirted and then walked away and left them to follow or not
....only that they should make it clear that there's no disinterest; it doesn't take much to do that.
Agree completely with this. And if you do it well, most men will probably think it was their idea to start pursuing (if they are interested).
Hard to do this stuff online though, no body language, no eye contact etc....so sure, "Ladies take control..." is this really a new idea? ;-)
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
26 (
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Guys and Strippers
Posted:
7/16/2007 8:40:56 PM
Exhibitionists gotta work..
When I was 18-19 yrs old I played in backup bands for "exotic dancers" all around Boston. My first night on the job was a "died and gone to heaven" experience (hey I was 18 from a small hick town!) From the 2nd night on it was just a paycheck...same for the ladies.
In the 30 + years since, I have been back in a strip club exactly one time, required for business, and for me it was just a "paycheck" again.
I guess its no worse than the ladies going to see "Chippendales"...but the whole thing seems pretty pointless to me.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
7 (
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Pursuing the Danish Dream?
Posted:
7/16/2007 4:42:50 PM
Should we continue to tolerate a small group of people having 3/4 of the wealth, while everyone else gets by on 1/4? Should we continue to tolerate average CEOs making 500 times more than the average worker?
On wealth distribution, absolutely agree that we have a "Rich get richer, poor get poorer" society. And of course the middle pays for everything... I guess my view is have no ceiling, but raise the floor...more or less what the more Socialist countries like Denmark are doing. (OP, I think that is part of your original intent?)
As far as CEOs making big bucks...I don't see it any differently from pro sports (or other entertainment for that matter). It works out to several thousand people that are in high demand for their skills getting paid what the market will bear. I doubt that any company or sports team likes paying the high salaries, but that is the way it works...exceptional talent has exceptional value.
Good read on US distribution of wealth etc. is "Wealth and Democracy" by Kevin Phillips.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
3 (
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Pursuing the Danish Dream?
Posted:
7/15/2007 8:27:21 PM
Having worked for a Danish company for 25+ years and having travelled there extensively I'll throw in my experience-based 2 cents...what I have seen and heard talking to friends over there.
If there is more economic opportunity, it probably has a lot to do with education...and the education is to a large extent in the sciences & engineering. Could be that is the root problem in the US?
Getting rich in the "American" sense is somewhat of a myth too, that social welfare system (which does pay for all that education BTW) takes a huge tax bite out of everyones pay. A Dane's best opportunity to accumulate some wealth is to get that education, and then go work overseas away from the tax burden for a few years. Taxes on automobiles, gas prices etc. are also a whole different world. A good friend took his Voyager minivan back home after working in the US a few years agp. The taxes to be able to have this vehicle in DK were close to $200,000!!! Also, no 3000+ sq.ft. houses for the upwardly mobile. Much of the housing is more like a 1600 sq.ft. Cape Cod, not the 0% Principal payment mansions that seem to be the rage in the U.S. Clothing is 2x expensive, plus a good steak is going to cost you $50 ;-)
I'd challenge that this study did not do a full "apples to apples" look. Denmark is a great country, but there are a lot of hidden costs there that we don't have.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
28 (
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Not your regular Nice Guy thread
Posted:
7/14/2007 9:00:55 PM
I think you are right on target. My observation was that both are also in "Control" mode...same thing really.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
2 (
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Positive Thoughts About Your Last Relationship
Posted:
7/14/2007 8:38:26 PM
Great topic, always amazed at how any relationship from 6 weeks to years of marriage seems to become a "what a total a$$hole" discussion once you split up.
Folks get into relationships and sustain them for some period of time because of some positives, and thinking about those positive things is a lot more likely to put you in the right frame of mind for another relationship than the "total a$$hole" thing.
Some random thoughts about positives from past relationships:
3 beautiful daughters (and no, I'm not planning recreate that!)
Learning 40 yrs worth of dance steps, and forgetting all of them..
Gaining a different view of the world, and vice versa
Doing their stuff/my stuff together, from food to music to sports etc.
Working together on projects/activities as a kick-a$$ team
As far as "alternative" relationships with exs? LOL ... are you out of your mind???
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
24 (
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When dating turns to relationship.
Posted:
7/14/2007 10:07:57 AM
I'm surprised that the lady posters did not jump on the fact that you have only been separated 1 year and your divorce is not yet final.
Open and honest is the only way to go, be prepared for the chips to fall tho..
I'd think that most women that are dating a separated man would see the risk/uncertainty in being in the "rebound" position.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
11 (
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Conflict resolution in relationships what do you do?
Posted:
7/13/2007 2:14:53 PM
Resolving conflicts are 99% about dealing with the emotional content, not the "issue" itself.
Look into "Retrouvaille" as a technique, its Catholic sponsored but its all about discussing emotional states with your SO, not about religion. Plenty of web info on this, just google it.
The (very) short version:
Never say "you", as in you did this, did that, etc. No finger pointing..
Do say "This situation makes me feel like.." and then use descriptive terms, metaphors that your partner will understand. Again, use "I" statements, never "you" statements. Its all about getting clarity on how "you" feel, not what "they" did.
The whole idea is for your SO to really understand how you are feeling (putting themselves in your emotional shoes).
Other suggestions:
Take 5-10 minutes to "defuse" (as you suggested)
When you get back together to discuss, be in a comfortable private space, don't be physically "distant".
Hold hands, or better yet hop in the tub or the shower
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
7 (
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Cell phone on a date....
Posted:
7/13/2007 12:42:50 PM
what do you guys think you should do if your date starts talking on the phone like that
I've experienced the "my kids are calling" thing used as a quick way to exit a "first meet" if necessary ..it was definitely contrived... I can understand a quick call in that situation to ask the "is he subhuman/axe murderer?" question though..
On a real date? Anything more than 30 seconds is a good excuse for a trip to the mens room, and then on to the bar to strike up a conversation with someone else...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
29 (
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How Can We Avoid Becoming Set in Our Ways?
Posted:
7/12/2007 8:31:14 PM
I'd make the assumption that most people do what they can to fill their time with activities, routines that they enjoy and get comfort from, etc. (e.g. POF). Time is a "use it or lose it" proposition.
Makes perfect sense to me that if you start getting involved with someone it's going to take a some time for them to re-prioritize prior committments towards more flexibility in spending time together. Don't you have similar issues?..or do you have total flexibility in your life?
If they don't re-prioritize or flex fast enough for you, it may just be that you are impatient...or maybe they just don't place the same priority on time with you vs. other interests. Your mutual expecations may align over time, or not. Talk it over, wait and see...or not.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
16 (
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Lying about religion
Posted:
7/12/2007 5:56:52 PM
Just checked, there is no "prefer not to say" on the religion choices.
If someone makes a "neutral" choice from the list to "hide" a perceived dealbreaker, I guess whether or not that is a "big lie" or a "white lie" has as much to do with what's on your no-starter list as it does with their thinking that their beliefs limit their chances. I personally vote for being as honest as you can within the range of choices...
It would be more useful to have a text box where you can comment on your religious beliefs (or lack of). Thats a lot more useful than a one word description that could mean anything...everything...or nothing...to either party.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
68 (
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Ex calls to tell me of his engagement...
Posted:
7/11/2007 6:46:09 PM
Can't get enough...
Of that funky stuff...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
63 (
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Ex calls to tell me of his engagement...
Posted:
7/10/2007 9:56:05 PM
It could be any of the motivators that have been posted...or it could have just been a brain f*rt on his part...not pre-meditated. I know, I've had em, and then asked myself...WTF..why did I do that?
His loss, BTW
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
27 (
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What do you do when you like someone?
Posted:
7/10/2007 9:22:51 PM
Regress to 13 yr old behavior.. after reading Msg 19 I have decided that I should hand over a couple of Duracells, smile, and just walk away...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
5 (
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Online Relationships... are they a way out?
Posted:
7/10/2007 9:06:53 PM
OP,
Not sure if you are talking about just social interaction online, or actual "relationships". If it's social interaction then I see online is just another way we meet our needs to be social, build self-esteem etc., kind an online****ail party. If people are telling you they have "relationships" online, that sounds to me more like fantasy fulfillment stuff...sounds more like "online gaming" vs. "online dating"
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
194 (
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted:
7/9/2007 9:38:41 PM
The "I look younger!" thing does get tiring...it's a pervasive part of the American psyche...ain't youth just the greatest!
This article talks primarily about women, and how midlife changes play into this thing, but other studies see the same subjective age stuff in men too..men don't stretch the truth as much tho ;-) 65 yr old women think 45, 65 yr old men think 55.
Feeling younger than your "real" age is positive (duh), but self-deception does not fool anyone but youself. Great to feel it, but keep it out of the profile....
Chronological age, or actual years of life, differs from self-perception of one's age, often termed cognitive age or subjective age, which may be a more useful predictor of successful psychological and physical aging of adults than chronological age. Subjective age provides a better indicator of adults' views of their roles in society, which in turn yields a more accurate understanding of their behaviors and attitudes.
... suggested that having a subjective age lower than one's chronological age would be positively associated with life satisfaction. The results of numerous studies have shown that adult women's subjective age tends to be significantly younger than their chronological age. In fact, Montepare and Lachman (1989) determined that both subjective age and chronological age were significant predictors of life satisfaction.
... noted that as women grow older, they increasingly define their subjective age as younger than their chronological age. This may be an instinctive or subconscious reaction to the finding that women and men both see old age beginning earlier for women than it does for men
http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0199-6036224/Women-at-midlife-an-exploration.html
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
7 (
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Are there any musicians or songwriters out there that can relate to this?
Posted:
7/8/2007 12:50:30 AM
Channel your emotions into your craft...always been easy for me to take a bad day and apply it to my instrument (drummer)...seriously, use the emotion to drive some good new stuff.
Maybe you should look for a new collaborator, without the emotional strings attached. Approaching your music with someone else would put a new twist on your material (and help you disconnect it from the relationship).
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
22 (
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I always wonder how....
Posted:
7/7/2007 11:38:30 PM
How/ why would you date/ become involved with a woman if you never had any intention of a serious relationship evolving with her?
Why waste your time?
Well, it would certainly beat sitting home on a Saturday night posting on POF!
Seriously...as others have said, marriage is not the "end game" for everyone. Also, I think for most folks things are a little more dynamic and fluid on the road to a serious relationship. Assuming some mutual interest, you date & "get involved" and things just take their course... or they don't. I think intentions emerge, they are not declared.
I can just imagine going to that "first meet" and hearing "Thanks for meeting! Could you please tell me if you have every intention of forming a serious relationship with me that will lead to marriage within, oh, say about 18 months?" ...Starbucks spewing all over the place..
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
145 (
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He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted:
7/7/2007 10:46:21 PM
To the OP
By all means be bitter, the way you describe things you deserve to be...vent all over the place and then move on..
Honestly ask yourself if your motivation to "save the unsuspecting ladies of POF" is altruistic, or just plain old vengeance. Sounds to me like you are still "movin back"...not "movin on"... as long as you are on this track you are still "in it".
Life is NO FAULT...In this case meaning that lying sacks 'o sh!t pay their own price in life... (and so do the vengeful, so don't be!)
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
69 (
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted:
7/5/2007 7:35:35 AM
If you focus on who doesn't want you, you'll miss who just might.
...and now if I could just stop focusing on Janet...
Ms. Toenails, here's another $...stand waaaay back from the screen and try again...
One guys opinion is just that...one guys opinion. Aside from the obvious disconnects of a 50+ guy with a gal 20+ years younger (or the reverse), who cares? I've never been attracted to someone because of their birthday, and the whole thing seems way too shallow of a criteria for not getting into an LTR... More likely as others have said, your 63 yr old friend has a whole set of rationalizations about why he has not succeeded at an LTR. (Don't we all
).
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
3 (
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Are you afraid of growing old alone?
Posted:
7/1/2007 9:36:54 AM
I'm sure everyone that is a little older and single at some time feels what you describe.
My humble advice is to focus on all the great opportunities that each new day of life gives you...enjoy/value what you have. After all, you could be growing old with someone that drives you nuts!..or you could not be growing old at all!
I've loaded my kayaks and I'm heading for the lake....suggest that you find something fun to do today as well!
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
4 (
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How do you end a date from hell? What to learn from it?
Posted:
7/1/2007 9:26:23 AM
I'm confused too...
So you had a date with someone who has an alcohol problem...
You end the date with a text message..vs. just saying "I gotta go...I ordered you a taxi"
You then email someone else on POF and tell them your "Date from Hell" story...
I don't see that this as the best topic for someone you just started emailing...not likely to score many fishie points either...and generally bad form to drag your personal stuff onto the Forums.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
22 (
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When is it Okay to start dating when your marriage has failed?
Posted:
6/30/2007 10:16:32 AM
I'll agree that there is a difference between a man in a failed relationship vs. the stereotypical "player". If your motivation is really about finding a new monogamous relationship I find it hard to believe that anyone who would date you while you are still married and living under the same roof with your wife would be good "relationship" material.
My advice is to at a minimum get a separation agreement, and then get on with your divorce. If you start dating in NC without at least a separation agreement you are asking for huge problems, not to mention that you drag your "date" into the mess.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
29 (
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how old is too old?
Posted:
6/29/2007 5:09:01 PM
To the OP..
Unless you are hung up on "biological parenting", I'll bet your odds are better of finding a woman who is beyond the age that she wants to carry a child, but not beyond the idea of adoption. I have met a few "career" ladies who have gone this route in their mid-forties.
I adopted my now 19 year old, and fathered my 14 year old (at 41) and my 7 year old (at 48).
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
24 (
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Rock n Roll Guitarists, Did They Get Their Start From Jazz/Blues
Posted:
6/28/2007 2:51:17 PM
Elvin Jones
Not to turn this into a drummer thread, but agree that Elvin was unique...kind of like Art Blakey unlimited by the laws of physics.
Great to see Tommy Bolin mentioned! My personal "unsung" guitar hero is Robben Ford.
From an academic perspective, I think a lot of guitarists from the '50s on were heavily influenced by horn players. When guitarists started "going to school", there was not a lot of contemporary material to practice, so they went into the classical scale stuff (Slonimsky) and at most of the jazz schools into saxaphone solo transcriptions. Jaco was an example of that with the Charlie Parker tunes, you hear all the "gnat note" scale stuff in players like Dimeola, etc.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
3 (
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Do you give them another chance?
Posted:
6/28/2007 2:30:14 PM
Sure...if you are still interested why not.
Seems like 99% of "older" singles are dys-communicative, so give it a chance to get fixed. If it was all some sort of a game you will figure that out quick, if it was just a "mis-fire" you will figure that out too.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
18 (
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Does it matter how you pay for a date?
Posted:
6/24/2007 8:40:29 PM
I always make sure to roll up plenty of Quarters before going out to dinner...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
13 (
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Rock n Roll Guitarists, Did They Get Their Start From Jazz/Blues
Posted:
6/24/2007 8:15:34 PM
I'm going to agree that he was heading back to R&B. I recall that this was the period where he was gigging more with Buddy Miles as a drummer. No fault on Buddy, but Buddy Miles vs. Mitch Mitchell to me is like Al Jackson Jr. vs. Elvin Jones. I think Mitch Mitchell's drumming is what made it "jazz", not the harmonic/melodic stuff.
To the earlier posts about Coryell, he did come later, and out of a whole different space (the Gary Burton/Berklee zone). I was listening to Mayall in High School, I don't recall that Coryell had recorded anything (certainly not in a rock/blues style) before the end of the Sixties.
Damn I'm old ;-) ....and I'm a drummer so what do I know anyway...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
51 (
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Why do I push all men away???
Posted:
6/24/2007 1:19:40 PM
Seriously speaking...
I agree with Bucsgirl on the "fear of success" thing. So much easier to stay in your comfort zone/routine than to actually have to make changes to include someone else in your life! If you are not "letting em in", then you "pushing them away".
(Having just a little more info in your profile might be helpful!
)
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
50 (
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Why do I push all men away???
Posted:
6/24/2007 1:16:20 PM
Ron has the answer. You are a post-it note on the bulletin board of life....
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
44 (
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Who has better luck in real life versus the web?
Posted:
6/22/2007 5:01:13 PM
I find it a little ironic that in "real life" I can chat up anyone in the grocery, a bookstore, videostore, etc. Online (where it is about as anonymous/non-threatening as it can get!) most attempts at contact just seem to go into the "black hole". I guess my wonderful personality just does not shine thru in my profile
Maybe if I had my profile info taped on my chest when I went shopping people would review it first and be more inclined to NOT talk to me.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
65 (
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Do you change lightbulbs with your penis?
Posted:
6/21/2007 10:38:24 AM
I'm amazed...it took us 64 messages to find "the right tool for the job"...so much for guys and their mechanical skills.. (thx to nick lonelyprinceinathens).
So when do the headstands begin?
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
13 (
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Is visual attraction what draws and keeps our attention?
Posted:
6/20/2007 3:34:32 PM
But this woman also went on to say, that extremely beautiful women are selfish and money hungry, and the mediocre women are beautiful on the inside, but men seldom stick around to see that.
Men seldom stick around for the selfish and money hungry.
would you prefer an attractive spouse, or a kind and loving spouse?
All or nothing at all. How can you have an SO without attraction and kindness/love?
As the previous post said, I think you start from an initial point and then (if you are lucky!) it grows as you get to know each other. I think for most of us that initial visual "hurdle" of physical attraction is a lot lower than the "experts" describe it, and quickly forgotten if the other 99% of the relationship falls into place.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
18 (
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Alternative physical activities
Posted:
6/18/2007 6:20:40 PM
You can see by my profile photo what I'm into. Enjoy long walks, a knee injury 5 years ago makes any thought of running/jogging not too comfortable (got kevlar shoestrings tying my quad to my kneecap - at least I'm bulletproof!). I'd prefer sex to kayaking, but the weather on the lake is more predictable...maybe I should try combining?
igotrhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
8 (
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When to mention s*x in letters..?
Posted:
6/14/2007 5:01:19 PM
I'm with the ladies on this one...
Better to limit your emails to less relevant topics like politics and religious beliefs..
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
32 (
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a town you don't know to meet a guy you don't know
Posted:
6/6/2007 7:56:47 PM
An earlier poster said it...being a dad to 3 daughters I'd freak if one of my girls hopped on a bus for a 200 mile trip etc... then I'd get rational and know that she knew what she was doing and that she was being safe/smart about it.
The guy should split the cost of the trip, and you should offer the reverse if he makes the trip to you.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
16 (
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It's Personal
Posted:
5/30/2007 4:41:53 PM
Ahhh... Meaning... Perhaps it is not something to be found but rather made
Liked it so much I had to re-quote it....
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
17 (
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Why does everything and anything come down to money?
Posted:
5/30/2007 3:24:26 PM
As said earlier, it comes down to greed.
Money is just a representation of value for exchange. I think the problems the OP points to are situations where the "full costs" were never weighed into the transaction. If we think about polluting industries, the "evil" aspect is because the "full costs" of making the resulting products were never built into the price (greed and often just ignorance as drivers).
Think about what you "should" pay for every product you buy assuming that the "money/value" you pay would cover the full cost of zero pollution, production waste handling, and recycling costs when you are done with it...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
14 (
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It's Personal
Posted:
5/30/2007 3:07:05 PM
Why do people believe in a god(s), higher power, etc. without the need for, or to belong to, an organized traditional religion?
Some may be raised in a given faith, and then reject all the "ritual" etc. later in life, but still hang on to the concept of a creator. Might just be a comfort zone thing to hang on to God while rejecting everything else. Much easier to say "I'm no longer a practicing xxx, I don't believe in A,B, or C, but I still believe in God" than to say "I'm an Atheist".
It may be that even if someone is not part of an organized religion, they still reject the randomness of reality, i.e. they see "fate" as the explanation of their life events which means "someone else" has already planned it all out.
Regards to the meme/virus point, maybe it is just that a basic "Creator/Supreme Being" meme is a lot stronger/pervasive than a more complex one for a faith like Christianity or Islam. It is probably the "oldest" meme we have.
Anyone asking the "why" question of life is led to think "purpose" which implies a "higher power/intelligence" at work.
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
11 (
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Voice attractiveness predicts sexual behaviour
Posted:
5/29/2007 8:37:23 AM
I'm with FrogO on the "duh" factor. No doubt that body proportions, facial expression, body language, eyes, voice etc. all combine to be "sexy". I have at least a few times been "wowed" by a female voice absent all the other "cues". Does not surprise me at all that you can correlate elements of a person's voice to body mass, etc. I figure Barry White and David Sedaris are good examples of that....
Hey FrogO, what about them amphibians? I'll bet their voices are indicators of sexual success...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
31 (
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I need to ask a question.
Posted:
5/28/2007 7:24:00 PM
Since this IS the over 45 thread....
I fear that anyone over 45 that is wearing elastic waisted pants in public is heading down the slippery slope...next is velcro white sneakers from Walmart...or even worse..the dreaded white loafers...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
67 (
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Orgasms make you live longer?
Posted:
5/20/2007 7:50:29 PM
Orgasms make you live longer?
If you don't have that heart attack first, y0u might reduce your cancer risk.
"National Cancer Institute discovered to their great surprise that a lot of orgasms do a guy no harm -- and may even do him some good.
The questionnaires were used to divide the men into categories of sexual activity, ranging from those estimating an average four to seven orgasms a month to those reporting at least 21 per month. Only a handful of men admitted to having fewer than one orgasm a week -- not enough to make up their own category. So those few unfortunates were lumped in with the four-to-seven orgasms a month group.
Results were striking: Men having the most orgasms reduced their prostate cancer risk by a full third compared with those men reporting the fewest orgasms. The same pattern held true for those who landed in between the extremes, including an 11 percent reduced cancer risk for those estimating eight to 12 monthly ejaculations and a 14 percent decrease for those in the 13- to-20 ejaculation group. "
Hmmm..."only a handful of men admitted to having fewer than one orgasm a week"...interesting choice of words
Could it be that liars have lower rates of prostate cancer....and maybe live longer too?
Naa....I vote for the 200 orgs/yr...eat lots of chocolate and drink lots of coffee too...
IGotRhythm2
Joined:
7/27/2006
Msg:
4 (
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Human rights over state rights?
Posted:
5/19/2007 5:32:35 PM
Yep...and the precedent appears to be 1 month time per each name disclosed...Rove and Cheney should only get 1 month in prison....or do they get two weeks apiece?
Maybe the Navy lawyer can also do a book deal..I'm sure that was what he was thinking...just like Valerie Plame...
"Her suit is "principally based on a desire for publicity and book deals," said Michael Waldman, who represents Armitage.
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