Is it possible for Men & Women to Meet in the Middle Somewhere? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Is it possible for Men & Women to Meet in the Middle Somewhere?

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Is it possible for Men & Women to Meet in the Middle Somewhere? Posted: 4/16/2009 11:51:00 AM
Of course it is....you all have control over your own bodies! You have the choices and you just have sex so you can date well get over it! That tells men that we all give out at the drop of a hat! You want a real relationship it's up to you! I've always said "Men & Dogs are Pigs" even though I was married for 32 years. We loved each other, it was an on going joke to keep it real. Men are driven differently then women....we are not the same. Study anthropology it is interesting the different roles. Women have won control by doing just that holding out but this issue has nothing to do w/ power and if it does then there is no relationship it is a game...to bad! Good Luck on finding a REAL Person to love! I wish you Well!

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 1597 (view)

ABSOLUTELY ! Posted: 10/29/2007 2:34:56 PM
Klaatu, You have completely answered the question for me. Great job. Congratulations on your friendship! Thank You and Take Care. Blurose.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex? Posted: 4/17/2007 1:06:01 AM
Most definitely and I have. I live in a rural community and I have met several people from here whom have come to visit and I am totally up front. No sex until we have established a relationship. We have spent evenings together and it has been very surprising how they respond to the warmth and companionship. I think cuddling is the lost art of love making in the first place. Anticipation. We found out whether we were compatible or not without the risk of loosing a friendship. Remember these are people I have never met before and we spent evenings talking, cuddling, and sharing life. I cuddled with someone for over 31 years and it was wonderful! Sincerely, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Dating a bartender Posted: 4/17/2007 12:27:55 AM
Boy oh Boy oh Boy! I am sorry but not dating a server is ridiculous. The truth is love will find you when you least expect it. There is no science, no personality profile, no job, no puritan, no voo doo. Life is to short and the world too small to have such mental blocks about anyone. I find to much of this kind of prejudice. It stifles your spontaneity. My husband and I owned a bar and grill together (he passed away 2 years ago). I've been running it now. Together 15 years in this establishment. You can decide how you want your servers to behave that is part of your job as owner and manager. Put it in a job description. No dating customers. Simple as that. Well stealing that's another topic. But besides the point I have never in 15 years seen any shenanigans with any of the servers. Our Business is a rock n' roll venue. We pride ourselves in being conscientious. I've seen customers whom become loyal followers of servers and once in a while they get to attached but you just have to be kind yet firm. Sincerely, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Ever had someone on your mind.. that you just can't shake? Posted: 3/28/2007 12:41:50 AM
yes I have and it is so odd this lesson I can't figure out what I am suppose to learn. My husband died 2 years ago in April...it is so funny because since he went on his journey I started liking things I hated before....like pickles..don't laugh it's true! He loved them I always hated them now I eat them and i think of him...he was obsessed with Bob Dylan and now I like to hear Bob yortel....I have taken on some of his habits too. I think it is funny, sad of course. we were married for over 31 years and I wish I knew what I know now.............he will always be there. I will not be able to stop thinking about him. As time lapses I hope it will be alright when I just start talking to no one cuz it will be him. No matter whom I become partners with he will be with us. He was my life time friend............ I so wish and hope for you peace and happiness, and unconditional love......Jane.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 1940 (view)

A Few Extra Pounds Posted: 3/17/2007 4:25:20 PM
I'm with you Ducky, but it is a big issue. Unfortunately an obsession. I am a large full figured person. I resent the fact that we are to conform to the limited descriptions. I had my profile critiqued by the profile master. He recommended that I choose the "A few extra pounds" he had an explanation of length and I decided to see if he was right. So far it's a toss up. Happy Trails, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Are you better when you are in a relationship? Posted: 1/11/2007 5:23:20 PM
I am better with a partner. I've been going through the grieving process after a very long term marriage and I have discovered many interesting things that you don't realize until the "ONE" is gone. Many of us have adapted to our circumstances, whether it be flying solo or being in a partnership. The evidence of being here is that people are very isolated and I don't think that is normal so for me simply being involved with people makes me happier. If it is a close relationship the more the merrier. The evidence again is in all that you all have said and I believe you are all right for you. There is no right or wrong answer.....Happy is as Happy Does! I wish you peace and Happiness! Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Emotional Baggage Posted: 1/7/2007 4:30:14 PM
Lately some of the converstion on the forum have been just awful......But I must say I am awful proud of all of you! You are all great people. It isn't easy talking about this topic and you all have done very well. The warmest congrats and Luck for a happy future to you ALL. Blu. Thank You for Sharing!

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Are you offended if you're not spending New Years Eve with your SO? Posted: 12/30/2006 11:46:38 PM
Good Job SMJle! Now here is someone whom has a brain. Do as you see fit. Do not let others influence your lives decisions. You know what is good for your situation. Happy New Year! B-Rose.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Where is our relationship? Posted: 12/30/2006 11:39:00 PM
I again say there is to much isolation in our culture. We need more contact. Eye contact so we know whom is saying what and how are they feeling. Body Language, hand language, facial expressions etc. You won't know anything for sure until you give it time. It is a very hard way to discover the beauty of a new friendship for I believe friendship is the best long term relationship there is. I would have done the same thing.I would be asking the same questions. People should not be telling you how things will work for you. They are reflecting only what they have experienced or think they have. Life is not black and white it is gray all over. I do not believe in dragging out an email experience to long. If there are feelings no more then 2 weeks because of the high risk of a fantasy. It is better to face it and be friends then to be in limbo. But whom is to say this could not go in the direction that is best for both of you. It will enrich your lives. People to be with are our rarest commodity. We are a tribal species and we need people in our lives. So go out and meet them. When it is right you will know. You have the power to do what is right for you. And what you do about it is your business. Don't let people offend you. We all need each other and some behave insensitively. The people whom do shall get theirs or they have been hiding to long behind this screen and have become desensitised. Good Luck and Happy New Year!!!!!! B-Rose.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Beauty in the Posted: 12/14/2006 8:18:28 PM
You are on the right path! Over 30 years of marriage I kept looking at him and after all the miles on our bodies and all the kafuffling he still was as handsome as the first day I met him. It was amazing to me. He felt the same way. It is a great reassurance hearing you all speak of the real fondness we should be experiences with each other. Happy Trails! Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Should the woman be the one to approach the man? Posted: 12/14/2006 7:47:58 PM
I personally believe that both has opportunity to approach. It is perfectly acceptable. Now days we just have to take action if we feel like it. Missed opportunities are a shame. Life is to short. You learn to take risks in every aspect of our lives but the most important one finding our life partner we balk. Not every contact will pan our but we learn about ourselves in the process and discover what kind of person we are attracted to. I wish you luck! Take a chance! The more experience you have the more comfortable you will be and the more self confident. Take Care, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

PLENTYOFFISH VEGAS WEDDING... LIVE!!! Posted: 12/14/2006 5:52:50 PM
Congratulations To You Both! May happiness be a touch away. May you always have each other to find your way. May you be blessed with your wildest dreams. Take Care, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

always talking about beautiful women around you Posted: 12/13/2006 9:19:14 PM
This is definitely disrespectful and should not be tolerated. Have a nice talk with him and if he doesn't stop find anew guy. Life is to short to put up with bull. Honor is necessary for a long term relationship to succeed. If it's just an affair who cares but he won't change unless you put a lot of effort into it. He's a low self esteem player and he is hedging his bet. This is a form of psychological abuse. Tell your friend good luck. I wish her well. Sorry I've seen this type before. Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Getting Answers to why the breakup Posted: 12/11/2006 6:02:45 PM
I think we are all in hot water because we have had the worst role models for dating. We watch to much tv and we are not properly socialised. Real life should not be like a soap opera. We all need to really talk to each other and stop the drama crap. I am getting sick of it! Anyone else? If we said what was on our minds we would have more successful marriages and friendships and we wouldn't need sights like these. And by the way the largest population in North America are singles 50 plus, over 100 million strong. They are making a killing on us. Free enterprise and all that. food for thought. No one is perfect so we need to talk things out and find a compromise. It works. Stop the bus I want to get off. I wish you the best! Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Widow/ers: Greatest fears about new relationships? Posted: 12/11/2006 3:03:12 AM
Hi Everyone. I also am a fairly recent widow. I just wanted to say that I am proud of all of you for being so supportive of each other. You have all made great points and been terrific. I am out there trying to restart my life and I would like nothing more then to have a man in my life. I have very few fears about it but I find that men do. Sure I get nervous at the frist meeting and kinda know if it is going anywhere but I find that so many men are afraid of it. According to statistics we are the odd guys out there. More single are divorced so maybe they feel less worthwhile. I believe it is a cultural issue. Our culture hides death. We don't deal with it in our everyday lives like alot of other cultures do.. We celebrated DAns passage. So many people think we are frail and incomplete and full of excess baggage. Well we are and it usually is good. No one will compete for my affection Dan is gone and I am a healthy grown women. He will be in my life no different then the X. In fact he will has less of an impact i would think. I am hopeful. I will keep going forward. Thank You Sincerely, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

It's Not Over at 45 Posted: 12/10/2006 9:43:07 PM
Heh you guys are great! Hasn't anyone heard that 80 is the new 60. Well it is. All the studies are saying that. We all have plenty of time to have terrific lives. Good luck to all. blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Instant Gratification Posted: 12/9/2006 3:05:56 PM
This is actually a coincidence but I was just emailing an aquaintance on POF about instantaneous gratification and how our society is very intune to that. We have forgotten the fine art of friendship. I want friendship and passion but friendship is very important to me. You can never have to many friends. I have been on 8 dates and with one twice. On our 2nd date he dropped his spoon during lunch and said I cannot be hurt again I can't do this. WEll it was odd I knew we could be friends but I had no idea if there was anymore then that. There was chemistry for sure but I cannot give a guarantee to someone I don't really know. I felt everyone had such expectations and they were so anxious. I was nervous about really meeting someone for the first time but after the meeting and we start to communicate it gets better. I married my best friend and we were married for over 30 years there was chemistry right away but we waited for passion for several months (back then that was long time) it is called anticipation. The fine art of love making involves anticipation. I agree with the platonic beginning totally. Otherwise it could be a bunch of one night stands and I was never there never going to be I am upfront with anyone I begin to have a close relationship with before our date. Reality is that to have a relationship whether it is a friendship or intimate it takes work, effort, commitment and honesty. I don't care if you do discover you have fallen for what you thought was a safe sex arrangement. face the feelings and deal with them. to many people run away. At least be honest let the chips fall where they may. You will learn from it and you never know it might work.. Good Luck!

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Did you ever love someone enough to give your life for her/him? Posted: 11/22/2006 1:25:37 AM
Hi Nipoleon, An act of heroism usually involves training like the military. you are taught to respond in the field. "No man left behind etc" AN act of Bravery there is usually not time to think of your own personal endangerment. You just act. Love for mankind can create this kind of an imediate response. Not everyone has that capacity. I have watched while others did not respond as a building was burning and there was someone in the blding. It was without thought I entered the blding and retrieved this person. I was 23 years old. Everyone else stood around. I was not trained to respond that way I just did instinctively. I suppose there is always room to debate.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Minneapolis , MN get together 1:00 PM kickoff December 3, 2006 at the Brit’s Pub Football Posted: 11/19/2006 9:55:11 AM
Heh you guys, this is agreat idea! I am going not because I am single but because it is a chance to mingle with people. Brits is a multicultural place it brings people together thats enough for me! I don't even like football or is it futbal? There is something all singles should know. We are the largest population in North America. We do have a voice. Use it get out! Meet people! We matter! Your Friend, Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Did you ever love someone enough to give your life for her/him? Posted: 11/17/2006 12:03:53 AM
Bravery is an all to often word used without thinking about what it means. Bravery is an unconscious act done at great risk to ones self. I have saved the lives of 2 people I didn't know but still loved them. Usually when you are called upon to save a life it is a spontaneous instinctive reaction that comes from an inner strength. After an act of bravery you are as if you weren't the one really doing it. It is a huge adrenaline rush and it leaves you shaken. I don't even know if love has anything to do with it. I would have given my life for my husband no doubt about it. I have 2 children and 1 grandchild. I can only hope that i would make the right decision at the time. It is easy to talk the talk Tougher to walk the walk! Love You, B.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Is jealousy an emotion.... Posted: 11/12/2006 7:25:48 AM
Anth, so right I just realised that I was jealous of another kid for having certain toys when I was very young didn't like the experience so went on. Kudos.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Is jealousy an emotion.... Posted: 11/12/2006 7:21:11 AM
I experienced jealousy for the first time in my life about 7 months ago. It was a powerful feeling. I was violated by someone, disregarded. I am not sure it is emotions, I think it could be something to do with survival. I am 54, I never ever had the green eyed monster before and I was being treated badly. I became angry but did not react. I believe it could have something to do with basic instincts, the human condition. I believe it triggers emotions that we are responsible to control or interpret. I never thought I could ever feel that way and would prefer to never feel that way again. It was very guttural. Just like any human response it can be a bad behavior from conditioning or there are those that need drama in there lives for attention possible.. Not Me. So I guess the conclusion is it is both. 1 comes from the other or so on. I believe it can be an irrational experience almost addictive. Off the cuff with Jane.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

How do you find love, when your partner has passed away? Posted: 11/12/2006 6:56:20 AM
Hi, People are sincere but only we whom have had such an experience can really understand the feelings inside when you loose your best friend....yes there are stages of grief. You are on your way. My partner died a year and a half ago. I look back now and wonder how did I survive. I am dating now and I tell people that he will always be a part of my life but I have taken some of his pictures down and have my favorites looking at me every day. Especially when there are children involved you must not remove there mother from them. They need to know her and know she loved them. You need to keep her memory alive I am sure she had a lot to offer them and only you in your loving way can do that. You will find the inner strength. And you knew her well and loved her. You have the honor of learning a balancing act of going on at the same time doing whats right for your children and her surviving family. You are the patriarch of the family. You have a lot to offer them all and when you give of yourself it honors her memory and it is comforting. It is actually an amazing transition. We cannot change what has happened so we must make the best of it. My experience has been that one day I just had a warm happy smile for Dan. The memories were happy the pain less, and I laugh! I want to warn you though, there will be rushes of passion and loss even when you least expect. Only you can make the final decision on when to open up and let love into your life. Love is a complex thing. It is so easy when we are young. As adults we have responsibilities. Love your life first which is your immediate family, then the slow healing process begins. A journal is a great idea. I was married to my love for over 31 years. A very strong monogamous relationship. I can tell you that moving on is not easy, but for me it is necessary. He will always be a part of my life. When you find someone they will understand how important she is to your family nucleus. If you ever need a friend please don't hesitate to contact. Take it slow and you really already know the answer. You will find love when you are ready....people like to say they have a broken heart well when my partner died it felt like I had a vast hole literally it took 10 months before I felt it start coming back. The only people you need to answer to are your children. Keep them close, love well and a lot. Sincerely, Jane. My hope for you is a real friend whom can be your life guide and ride the storm out with you.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Verbal Abusers Posted: 11/10/2006 11:52:30 AM
I was treated like that by one of the men on POF. he led me down a primrose path and then let me have it. I am a vulnerable widow and it just about killed me. It took 2 friends,and sleeping for 23 hours to begin to get over that episode. He did get kicked off of POF. But there are all kinds. People are especailly vulnerable on the internet thats why it is so important to be careful when and where you meet someone. Always be careful.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

POF Singles Party - Pine City - Nov. 11th Posted: 11/5/2006 3:47:35 AM
Hi, I just wanted to say that you are all beautiful people! I am very excited to meet and greet! I've been getting a lot of calls from people whom haven't RSVP! I want to remind everyone that this is a casual, fun, oppotunity to mingle. Relax.. My hopes is that we can get organized and start an active Social Club like POF does in BC. They do so many things for each other and it has created a terriffic organization! This can be alot of fun!!!! If someone you invite says they don't want to come without a friend lets try to find away to help them. Give me a call and if I can help I will. Invite, Invite, Invite, I can't reach everyone, not right gender or age or what ever! So help! See you there! Blu

Blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

So Long POF!! Posted: 11/2/2006 1:00:43 AM
Here's the deal. Yes there are those types but it is up to someone to set them straight, I've had 2 guys apologize and begging for mercy and 1, I reported and he is gone. I can only speak from my area but you have the power to control some of this. Report it for one. Keep a tablet by your computer and when someone tries a move get there name. Report!!! It is almost the same as being in the street but these men think they can get away with it cuz we don't do anything. The other is to get organized with other singles and meet and greet. Face to face interactions is much better and in a group even better. Get email addresses and create a singles resource directory for your area. Not everything is happening on this sight and everything in the world is in need of improvements including POF. Make sugjestions to POF. Take the power! you deserve it!

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 729 (view)

Can men and women be friends without sex? Posted: 10/31/2006 1:02:55 AM
Yes they can be friends, I have male friends back to our teen years. Some very close and we are still friends! Society has alot to answer for. We are to isolated and it causes us to leave the boundaries of standard relationships. Loneliness and desires are there but we need to resist in order for our friendships to last. The paranoia exists because usually one has committed an act of violation to another friend. That starts the cycle of mistrust. We all need each other and it is a perfect example of why we are in the political time because we feel no solidarity. No bond for the betterment of society. We are stagnant and don't work together for a better society because it doesn't exist. As long as it doesn't exist the bad guy wins. The bad guys are the ones whom tell us how to live, what to eat and what is considered a family. The ones whom are trying to frighten us with talk of terrorism. The people controlling our freedoms. Fears of relationships going bad are keeping us apart. Well be adult and deal with it...that is a freeing experience. Try to touch anyone you can with a smile and be kind. The world becomes a better place when 2 adults, 1 man, 1 woman can be friends.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

POF Singles Party - Pine City - Nov. 11th Posted: 10/24/2006 5:38:44 AM
Heh you guys! Glad to see you are coming! Besure to invite singles you would like to meet and bring friends! Some people may need rides, talk to each other so we can all be of assistance! Looking forward to meeting you All! Blu.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

POF Singles Party - Pine City - Nov. 11th Posted: 10/17/2006 1:01:56 PM
You're Invited!!! All singles 21-91 are invited to a party Sat Nov. 11 2006 At Froggy's All American Grill in Down Town Pine City Free Appetizers and wine/Drink Tasting 7-9pm On The Air Karaoke DJ at 9pm Pine City is located 13 miles south of Hinckley and 1 hour north on 35 from the Twin Cities Hotels are The Chalet, Gold Pine, Days Inn, Grand Northern Inn, Grand Casino Facilities. There is a local cab service called Attaboy and for Limo service contact Sunrise Limo Service Please RSVP! Call if you have any questions at 320 629 4805, or email me I'll be checking in. Take Care! Sincerely Blurose. The purpose of this gathering is to give people a chance to meet and greet beyond this screen in a fun environment. So come out and have fun. There is no cost for this event!

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Do i let go? or pursue the fairy tale? Posted: 9/21/2006 4:42:40 AM
Life doesn't need to be so hard. Ask yourself what am I afraid of? Look her up, she is a worthwhile person in you. Why should it matter if she has changed or not, or you have, that is the natural evolution of the human species. Stop analyzing and see her. If nothing else she is probably your friend and friendship is as valuable. We all stumble about wondering should I? shouldn't I?, well from my experience not doing it can create a regret and life is to short. We are all the same, basic critters. Ask yourself again what is the worst thing that can happen? In some ways Tom Wolfe was right (You can't go Home.) but not about the power of friendship. I am sure you have your memories and maybe a fantasy but don't you want some realty to go with it. Otherwise what do you have........ I think you will be strong enough to keep your memories, they are the child in all of us. Take Care, love Blurose. Ya do know you have something many people don't have and that is fond memories of your early childhood. Live life to the fullest, smile at a total stranger these are things we should all do everyday. This is someone you knew. It should be easier.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Phone Conversations Posted: 8/24/2006 1:23:26 AM
No it is not normal to call everyday unless you had established that kind of a relationship before the pregnancy. People are creatures of habit and this can appear to be normal for him. I can say that I have been pregnant and my family raised and if my signifigant had asked me everyday how I was I would have bopped him. cuz sometimes you just aren't and it is annoying to be bugged about it. There are no social boundaries in our society anymore and everyone should be able to perform as they have shown by their actions. I see nothing wrong with being honest and saying Hi, ya know my life is changing and I would feel better if you would check in on me more often, it would really make me feel better. I believe we are all afraid to say what is on our minds andwe shouldn't be. We are all people with the same needs and basics. So try being honest without being upset, I think it works better. Good Luck, Love yourself enough to get what you need without anger and regret.

blurose

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

How to be friends with someone you're inlove with?? Posted: 8/24/2006 1:03:55 AM
Actually have had a very similar situation and i pulled away from him and we are just now becoming friends again. I don'tSee him like I used to but I am moving on in my life he in his. We both still care about each other but not like I wanted. Some day we will be closer then ever i know this, he respects me because I let go. Amazingly he came back to check on me. If your guy is thoughtless well maybe he won't then he wasn't worth it in the beginning. Take Care of your self it will get better......

Show ALL Forums