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vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 565 (view)

Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 6/25/2008 5:25:35 AM
same reason men date multiple women at once...to keep their options open and get as much action as they can!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

Does this sound weird to anybody else? Posted: 6/21/2008 9:09:36 PM
ok i hope i wasn't one of the "bad" people you were referencing there^^but i have been in a similar situation and it didn't turn out well and responded based on past experience as i'm sure many others have. the other thing tigerlilly1983, while i am not judging you (and i don't think most people were) and do sympathize with your situation, you did write... If that wasn't bad enough, I've also received a call from the police last week saying that my boyfriends wife had reported him missing. I know for a fact that he's not married, if he was, his wife would have reported him missing a long time ago lol. When confronted with his information he seemed pretty confused at what was going on. But the fact that I got a call like that, and then he disapeared and hasn't come home/called doesn't really look good for him. My question is what the hell should I do? you asked for people's advice and opinions on the matter. while the answers given may not have been soft or sugar coated, they are realistic and come from people who've no doubt had a similar experience. if you didn't want the advice honey then you should not have asked for it then lashed out once it was received. some may have been overly harsh or too personal, however, that is the thing with seeking opinions from strangers on the internet...you won't always get what you want to hear (read), but it is upfront and blunt and probably what you need to hear (read). what did you expect to hear (see) after your initial post? that you should stay since he sounds like an honest prince?

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

Does this sound weird to anybody else? Posted: 6/21/2008 6:05:37 AM
as much as you don't want to, it IS time to kick him to the curb! sounds like he's starting up with someone else. he is purposely making himself unavailible to you and it doesn't matter if you are a man or woman...that's a HUGE sign the person doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. stop wasting your time and energy and putting yourself through emotional and mental hell over this. it's pretty simple and when it eventually falls apart after you've stayed, you'll kick yourself in the ass over it.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

The Abortion Ultimatum - dealbreaker? Posted: 6/19/2008 6:13:56 AM
I'm of the mind that everyone who wants to have a child should sign contracts with each other prior to it being conceived, one that holds them liable to that baby. Quite frankly im sick of people having babies all willy nilly, either by "accident", with out the other persons consent or with out taking responsibility for them. im sick of people having babies all willy nilly, either by "accident", with out the other persons consent i agree that there are waaaay too many people out there having babies like it's no big deal and it's getting out of control. however, if you have sex, you have to accept the reality that a baby may come of it and hate to break this to you, but it's the woman's choice to have it. "consent" on the fathers behalf isn't required...the parties "consent" or "sign contracts" when they do the deed! for every 10 men out there who get a girl pregnant and don't want it, there is one fighting to keep a girl out of the abortion clinic. people don't take sex seriously enough anymore and because of that, unwanted babies result. i don't care if you are in a committed relationship or not...if you follow your hormones to greener pastures, accept the fact that something unexpected could follow and deal with it, regardless if a woman has it or not. if you don't want children, the only 100% way to prevent that is to not have sex or get permanently sterilized. abortion isn't the answer for everyone...it's an individual choice, and there are instances where the side effects and consequences of one are irreparable, permanent and damaging. i don't mean to preach...but it's time for people to grow up and take responsibility for their actions! anyhow, sorry, this isn't a debate OP...i hope my 1st post was a helpful. CrumblePie...i don't want to debate with you since i feel that in an odd way we somewhat share similar views.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 6/19/2008 5:48:36 AM
oh i can definitely understand where they are coming from indehills, but happiness comes from within and it is low self esteem...i've been there. if they aren't happy with themselves, they won't have successful relationships...with me or anyone. no one should feel that a person is "out of their league" because eventually it will just set off a chain of events that will reflect the self conciousness and ultimately lead to them, if not both, parties being unhappy. i don't want a man to continue a relationship with me simply because he thinks "she's so out of my league, i'm lucky to have her and won't find anyone else better." while the sentiment behind that is flattering, i wouldn't want someone to be unhappy because they felt they were settling or something. i'm not someone's emotional safety net in regards to making them feel great about themselves...they need to do that for themselves and be able to look at ANY woman and not think she's out of their league. i've seen some unattractive men with great looking women (and vice versa) and it's their confidence and self respect that draws a them in.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 6/18/2008 8:03:29 PM
thank you all for the positive responses...very much appreciated! while i am healthier, i do tend to chow down on a big mac or something once a month or so (usually around the same time each month!...damn feminine cycles!...LOL) and thank you sooo much WannaCStars for clearing up the marilyn monroe issue...i knew there was no way she could have been a size 6 by todays standards of all things...she had hips, boobs, buns and thighs dammit! my bff isn't a size 6 and she's nowhere near as curvy as the lovely miss monroe was! i've actually hit a dating dilemma that coincides with the loss of attraction towards larger men. the in shape men don't want me because i'm not quite 'flawless' in my physique...that or their too damn c@cky! and the 'average' or 'few extra pounds' gentlemen seem to think i'm "out of their league" (2 guys have actually said that to me...i'm dead serious!) and i hit the point a looooong time ago that i don't want to deal with someone who has that kind of low self esteem. i can't seem to find a happy medium anywhere sigh. and so i've decided to take a break from dating, again, and stick around for the forums since they're always interesting and entertaining!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

The Abortion Ultimatum - dealbreaker? Posted: 6/18/2008 7:37:29 PM
your friends hearts are definitely in the right place by looking out for your best interests...a true friend does not want to see someone they care about getting hurt if they were able to prevent it by revealing a sordid detail that you may wish later on you had known. if a person feels that strongly that they do not want children, then they need to accept that the possibility of pregnancy, among other things, exists when they are sexually active and choose not to have a permanent form of birth control (vasectomy, tubal litigation). it isn't as though someone can say "oops! i have aids, make it go away!" it's a decision made by both people to have sex responsibly while keeping in mind ALL of the risks that are associated. by being sexually active they also need to take the responsibility the pregnancy situation could arise and realize that while they may feel one way on the issue, their partner may not. also, people's feelings do change on the issue once it sinks in that they are pregnant. sometimes it's the guy wanting his partner to have it. regardless of which side of the fence you are on in respects to abortion, it is not an easily made decision, regardless of the desire to have children. that being said, there are 3, count 'em THREE sides to every story. person A's version, person B's version and somewherein lies the the truth. honestly, if you have the cojones, seek out the ex and ask for her version events, then, without revealing that you spoke with his ex until he spills his version (if at all), ask him for his version (that'll save any she saids or dids/i said/did that could cloud your judgement and keep him from truly giving his honest perspective on the issue). keep in mind that while it may be difficult, it is best to check your emotions at the door and try to remain as logical and impartial as possible. your gut instinct will tell you what is best...follow it!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 101 (view)

fess up to your favorate wierd sammy Posted: 6/11/2008 2:18:11 PM
peanut butter and cheez whiz...balonie and cheese slice on toast and nuked for 30 secs...balonie and peanut butter.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

If you're independant, why R U here? Posted: 6/11/2008 1:14:04 PM
ok seriously ladies, the man asked and i am not the only woman here to respond in that manner. rather than nitpick what your fellow woman is justifying for us all, perhaps you should delve further into what OP wrote and nitpick that rather than a fellow woman who is attempting to defend the independant woman. as margo stated, none of you actually know me so the psychological bs you spouted to me means nothing. my life is filled with love and friendships on many levels...look at the thread headline once more (If you're independant, why R U here?). he's basically saying that if we are independant then we should not be dating or having relationships with anyone???...so by attacking me for defending the independant woman you are basically agreeing with him. i've made my points and will no longer waste my time by repeating myself...in this instance, the following statement... "this is all lost effort. people who are so wrapped up in nitpicking the opinion requested by the OP of their "independence" are notoriously bad at listening to reason. i wonder, though, at the motivation of someone who insists on being right, instead of being happy" definitely applies. i have better things to do with my time. take care all and have fun!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

If you're independant, why R U here? Posted: 6/11/2008 10:39:01 AM
ItsMargo... i put myself first, not a man. If a man said that to me, I would NOT date him. I am only interested in being with people who are willing to share their lives ok allow me to clarify since you took it out of proportion. if my man is sick, then yes, i am most definitely there for him and i am willing to share my life...just need to be clear that i will not do what women have done for centuries...put a man's needs, dreams and desires ahead of their own while they fall to the wayside, staying quiet and becoming unhappy . and there is nothing wrong with that. i am a human being as well. well, i am 100% independant. I have yet to meet someone who is 100% independent. and since when did being independant become a bad thing? IMO, it becomes a bad thing when people say things like "I put myself first, not a woman/man" well then, it is apparent that you are not, nor ever have been independant if you believe that. my bills are paid by me and no one else. i paid for my education, not my parents, grandparents or student loans. i bought my car and make ALL the payments needed to keep it on the road. i work full time and do not rely on someone else to supplement my income. if my finances become a little overwhelming, i get a second part time job to cover it...i don't borrow money or charge it. i provide the roof over my head. it wasn't given to me, no one helped me. if i have plans with friends or if i just feel like kicking back at home with a book, i WILL NOT change plans for a man because it is what he wants. i have EARNED, everything i have with hard work and determination and NO ONE will take that away from me...nor should i be shamed for it or have to justify it to ANYONE because they are jealous or intimidated by it. as i put in my profile... i love my life because everything i have was EARNED with hard work. i don't depend on anyone to make me happy (except myself!), much less for anything else. if i have a special someone, they enhance my life, they don't make or break it. in order to have a successful relationship with anyone, you need to be happy with yourself, and not seek to find someone who will look after you in any way, whether it be financially or emotionally...because someday, for whatever reason, it could all be gone and you'll be left to your own devices again.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

If you're independant, why R U here? Posted: 6/11/2008 2:09:54 AM
well, i am 100% independant. so many women out there are so damn needy and feel that they NEED a man in their lives. there are even women out there who can't live completely on their own (bills, car, rent) without the assistance of a man. for me, it's a HUGE part of who i am and i'm very proud of that fact because it did take a lot of hard work and determination to be completely self sufficient. when i go on a date, i pay for my damn self and i don't re-arrange my schedule or cut my bills short just for a guy. i put myself first, not a man. also, some men are turned off by this so i put it out there so that if they are interested they know what they are getting into. hate to break this to you, but a lot of men like the feeling that they are in charge and/or prefer to pay for everything in order for a woman to be obligated to give back (in many forms). i've seen many profiles where men have stated they want a woman who is independant as well. i looked at your profile and you state that you wouldn't embarass someone in public...does that mean you used to? is that not a given that you shouldn't embarass a woman in front of her peers? or by the statement that when you are in a relationship, you are committed to your partner...is that not also a given? here's a question for you...what's it to you? do you find independant women intimidating or something? and since when did being independant become a bad thing?

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 6/2/2008 5:24:20 PM
i'm not a complete loner. i don't live in a cave or anything and i do go out on a regular basis. as much as i am "pro-women", in my experience, having chick friends is very volatile. i'm not into drama and i find women tend to be headcases about a lot of silly issues and dwell on them and it drives me nuts (hence i had my moment, i've moved on). also, i've found that chick friends are backstabbers and when it comes to men...OMG! my bff and i do not tend to go in that direction (for the most part) but we do have our moments where our friendship hits a wall (that's normal in any relationship regardless if it is family, SO's etc.)...usually once a year and we're good. thanks for all the advice!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 6/2/2008 1:05:12 PM
oh no prob with the suggestions. the thing is, most single women in my age range are still bar stars and that just isn't my style. yes we talked about it...it's all good! So many men do this same thing. You just don't listen to what is being said....Sheesh! We'd listen more if women didn't blather on just to fill every silence. Anyway, this whole episode highlights one of the many differences between men and women. If I make plans with a guy friend and he brings his gf along, I couldn't care less. women don't necessarily "blather" to fill in every silence. hate to be the one to break this to you, but MEN ARE DENSE and need every little detail spelled out for you so you'll comprehend. otherwise if we give men subtle hints, it goes right over their heads. then you're the ones who have the balls to say to us that we should just come right and say what we want, etc. and don't understand what's bothering us. no matter how we explain something to your species, YOU STILL DON'T LISTEN and if you do, you aren't actually HEARING what it is we're saying! also, if you and your buds planned a poker night, or a stag party at a strip club and one of them brought their gf along, you'd definitely have something to say about it!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 6/1/2008 8:05:13 PM
well i've been fortunate that she's never cut me out of her life for a guy. she's always become less availible and that's normal. i just found it odd that she could always separate herself from her son since he was really little for a weekend so we could head to the beach or something, but she can't leave her man at home for 2 hours??? it isn't the first time when i've wanted to head out somewhere for a night and she's always wanted to tow her guy along...it's just exasperating since she does see her guy more than me and she can't disconnect herself from him for a couple of hours? especially when she suggested the "girls night out". anyhoo, it's all good. no relationship, be it family or otherwise is perfect. i read something one time that always stuck in my head... "Love may be blind but friendship closes it's eyes" everyone has their faults. when you're in love you don't see them. when it's your friends, you take the faults and love 'em more for it!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 6/1/2008 11:53:14 AM
well when she showed up the morning after and woke me up (with coffee thank god!), we talked for about 2 hours (about how her relationship with him right now isn't 100%). she really was oblivious that i didn't want him there...she's blonde LOL (no offence to anyone) it was her who made the blonde comment! it is a trivial thing in the big picture...just felt like a big deal at the time. thanks for the support gals! (and a guy or 2)

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 5/31/2008 8:05:32 PM
she didnt do anything wrong by bringing her boyfriend to a movie she was paying for. she didnt flaunt her relationship. she didnt violate girl code. you were just feeling shitty. but all of those negative feelings were on your side of the table. so pull yourself together and count your blessings. ok...you didn't read the post correctly...I PAID FOR OUR TICKETS! and i have pulled myself together. i also posted another time that i never get like this and i also put in my original post that i am aware it was just me being silly and that it wasn't her intention to make me feel bad. also, i am from a VERY small and friendly city and i was getting the "she's getting stood up" stares from a few people. even today, now that i'm looking at it more rationally, i know what i saw. after talking to my "married/in relationship/engaged" friends, etc. today, i'm definitely not, nor have i ever been jealous of people's relationships or happiness (i think everyone i know had a bad week! LOL). everyone has their weak moments and i'm entitled to mine. this was honestly the only outlet i had at the time i wrote it. believe me, i do not get like that. anyone who actually knows me would have been floored at what i wrote or that i was capable of shedding a tear! 99% of the time i'm very logical, pragmatic and emotionally, i'm geared more like a man. i just had to get it out of my system. (if you are familiar with sex and the city, i'm exactly like the miranda character and my bff is just like carrie!) besides, seriously, what the he!! would you know about "girl code"?? also, she was the one who made the statement that this was supposed to be a girls night out. ummm...my age is in my profile...all you have to do is read it. everything with her and i are fine...she woke me up early this morning but was smart enough to bring coffee! and her being a single mom has never affected our friendship...i'm her son's godmother and have always been there for them as she is basically family...it's never crossed my mind that her having a child could be an issue because it just isn't. thanks for the posts though everyone! very much appreciated.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 5/31/2008 11:42:26 AM
eazk i'll NEVER drop the "vicious" from my name...i may have my soft moments, but they are VERY few and far between. djchickie401 i agree with all you wrote. i am pretty much a loner even though i am quite social. and you're right, life is so much less complicated. i hear people talk about their relationship and marital problems and i feel a sense of relief! i gave up a long time ago on finding a guy period. i hid my profile and mainly cruise through here for the forums. my focus is seriously on me. everyone has their moments though and mine happened last night. i cry maybe once a year if that...i'm good for the rest of 2008 now! the movie was pretty great wasn't it? i think the charlotte moments were the best!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

sex and the city and a date... Posted: 5/30/2008 8:48:36 PM
i'm not intending to seek pity. i just need an outlet to get it off my mind and this felt like the only place i could get it out. well, i went to see it. the BIG movie. the one i couldn't wait to see. the one my bff of ten years called and said she wanted to see with me (i had planned to go alone) and leave her man and son at home for. i bought the tix 2 weeks ahead, excited she remembered how much i loved the show and told her not to worry about paying me back as it could be an early b-day present. her and i have been through everything. i've been having a bad week as i re-connected with some people from high school to discover that they are either engaged, married, in a serious relationship and most with kids. it dawned on me just how lonely i was and that i haven't had a special someone in 2 years. which is odd because i've always been happy being the definition of the independant woman. i absolutely love it. i called my bff crying over it the other night, feeling vulnerable (she's the only one i can do it with). i told her how it is becoming exhausting justifying my singledom, paying for everything alone and not really having anyone to share anything with...especially now that her and her boyfriend live together. for the record, i don't begrudge her happiness or situation. i just feel alone. anyhow, we agreed to meet up at the theatre. i was there on time. she was not. i began getting the stares from people with pity that i was being stood up by a guy. i kept calling her cell to no avail. finally, she arrives...with her boyfriend in tow. i had a let down feeling. i adore her boyfriend as he truly is one of the few great men out there. the situation made me feel worse just as i was coming out of it. there i was, on date night at the movies...the third wheel...at a movie that is all about friendship. i sat through the whole thing and loved it, but felt like a tool. i didn't want to cry during the corny parts. i felt like crying during the parts where the girls friendship were highlighted. i held it all in. when the movie was over i couldn't get out of the theatre fast enough. i walked to my car. alone. she told me her plans for the weekend, etc., but i just had to get away. i bawled on the drive home. i don't want to tell her how i feel because i know it'll cause a rift for a while and i know it's such a silly thing to be so upset over. i can't imagine that if the situation had been reversed that i would have done something like that to her. i can't remember ever bringing my guy along in the past while she was single when we had "girly" plans. especially if she had called me a couple of days before crying about being alone. i know she didn't intend to flaunt her relationship and happiness in my face but that's how it felt. ok i'm done now. i just had to let that out. i'm sorry if people take this as a pity post. it's not the intention. i just had to get it out. thanks!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 82 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/28/2008 6:27:52 PM
the other great thing about that show...made all of us single gals feel great about ourselves and that we are FABULOUS! and that while friendships have their ups and downs, they're still our friends and we should always be there for one another.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/28/2008 3:11:42 AM
^^^wasn't that szechwan food that big took her too? (thehideyourloverrestaurant)

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/27/2008 6:40:10 PM
hehe...i bought the tickets 2 weeks ago and got ones for the advanced screening thursday night @ 10pm here!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 5/27/2008 4:52:49 PM
SweetieGuy_81... this isn't a thread on being superficial, etc. i really used to be attracted to larger men and now the attraction has changed. i always look for what's on the inside more the outside and honestly, in my experience, a$$holes come in all shapes and sizes. i wouldn't instantly reject a guy based on his size...especially through here when we don't really see eachother. i'm talking about after i've met them and been completely attracted to their personality or when i see men on the street that even a year ago, i would have been attracted to. i still look at them and think "wow he has great eyes/kind face/great smile" but the little butterfly/heart-stopping/heart-racing attraction just isn't there anymore. i'm just curious as to why this happened. it has nothing to do with me being shallow considering at one time, even when i was not overweight, it was my preference to date larger men. please do not make this thread into something it was not intended to be due to your own issues (start your own thread for that please!). i was simply asking for some input on why i'm no longer attracted to larger men. Tigerwoods0924 i know you weren't trying to offend and i very much appreciate your comments. and i never said i was a size 14, i said marilyn monroe was (hehe). my actual dress size is no one's business and i definitely would not place it on a dating site profile!...lol...don't worry, if i had been offended by what you had said, you would have known! and thanks for the profile review! Alaskarain Was your ex a larger man? yes he was Was your relationship with him really bad? the relationship was horrible but the breakup was ridiculously easy, mutual and friendly (we both knew that we made eachother miserable and when i said i was leaving, he completely understood) If so, after the break up with him and your lost your weight, it could be that your subconscience mindhas turned you off to this type of man because it reminds you of him or the relationship. i don't think it's so much that honestly. i continued to be attracted to larger men up until about a year or so ago...i lost the last 50lbs in the last year and that's when i noticed things changed. everyone's opinions have been great and i'm really "looking into myself" now and analyzing the possibilities. i was worried that i was becoming superficial and shallow. it's nice to know that based on people's responses (except perhaps one!) that isn't the case.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 5/27/2008 11:25:57 AM
thank you everyone for all the great comments. and tigerwoods0924... However in closing I can't help but correct one thing in your profile: you mention that you are a size 14 and that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14... I hate to keep whipping a dead horse but, Marilyn Monroe was a VINTAGE size 12-14, which by today's standards was a size 6... Sorry to burst your bubble... my point for that is simply that i am 5'9" and i have boobs, a behind, and hips and they are not petite...they are curvy and full figured and that doesn't make me overweight! some men seem to think that if you have these things, you must be overweight! marilyn monroe was by no means overweight and she had the same shape as i...that's all i was trying to say.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 5/27/2008 7:40:41 AM
wow! that's actually very insightful and it came out just fine...atleast i'm pretty sure i understood how you did in your head LOL. that's very fascinating...i'll definitely think about that! thanks!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/27/2008 7:36:09 AM
lmfao tall, young and fabulous! i loved that episode...and the one where the tenants in her building gave her a hard time because someone was robbed and the line where she says "they practically chased me with torches and crosses like i was fckenstein!" i can't wait until friday! now that she's mentioned it, c@ckail weenies would be a good idea as someone mentioned since they went to a ball game that season while samantha was still dating that guy and broke off the end of a hot dog and asked carrie "how would you like to sleep with this* everynight!"

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

when you've lost a lot of weight... Posted: 5/27/2008 7:31:09 AM
since i was a teenager, i've always been attracted to larger men. not morbidly obese or anything, but kevin james kind of big (i now pronounce you chuck and larry, king of queens star). i wasn't overweight when i was a teen and i found myself still attracted to that type of man throughout college. after college i began to put on weight during a relationship and became quite large myself. after leaving my ex, i began to lose weight considerably (i was obviously unhappy with him!) anyhoo, i've lost 200lbs the right way, by eating well and excercising. i'm in the best shape of my life. problem is, i'm not attracted to the bigger guys anymore. why is that? i was attracted to them before i became overwight so why not now? what happened?

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/26/2008 7:19:35 PM
well, you definitely don't look like someone old enough to be my mom. seriously you don't. i learned a long time ago that like life, cooking is always evolving and there is always something new to learn. i never dreamed how great figs and pork tenderloin with a good red wine would be until one of my boss' made it one time. i was blown away!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/26/2008 5:51:13 PM
just a suggestion darlin'!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/26/2008 5:16:33 PM
i can see why she'd use radicchio for that. it adds great contrasting color and no doubt offsets the richness of the cheese with the slight biterness that radicchio has. endive will be a bit too mild maybe and the plate may look a little blah...then again, some shredded carrot in the leaves before placing the cheese in may be a good way to avoid dullness...this is a sex and the city party after all!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/26/2008 4:00:03 PM
lookingincalgary thanks for the job info, but i've been aware of that for years...just not my thing as everyone i know who has gone out there for cooking, etc., has always come back completely burned out or hooked on drugs. i have a great job now that i love in food service! oh and someone mentioned oysters....this is my fav thing with oysters and it's cheap! ritz crackers (have to be ritz!) miracle whip canned smoked oysters boiled, sliced eggs (optional) put a small dollop of miracle whip on cracker. if you have an egg slicer, place one slice on top of mayo then your smoked oyster. i prefer it without the egg, but everyone is different! doesn't sound like much, but they're super-yummy!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/26/2008 5:44:09 AM
i've worked in every type of kitchen imaginable i think...LOL! from truck stops to fine dinning. preferred fine dinning since i was able to be more creative and artistic.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/25/2008 9:14:27 PM
hehehe...i'm a certified chef! since you're having a merlot, you could probably throw a splash of that in too! is it white or red? to make it a bit sweeter, try a bit of brown sugar, apple or pinneapple juice or sauce. pureed or diced canned peaches or maple syrup would work too. and PS-->alcohol, wine especially, is perfect for taste testing. it cleanses your palate so that the flavor of food comes through better. that's why wine always goes so well with cheese! and why smokers smoke more when they drink...the cigarette is more enjoyable after a sip or 2 of booze! (i know you were probably thinking more along the lines of wine will make ANYTHING and EVERYTHING better, but thought i'd throw in that useless fact!)

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/25/2008 8:31:08 PM
yeah what he said^^^ if you go back to your post during the same session (before you close your browser or sign out), you'll see under your pic that you have an option to "edit post". since we're restricted to how many posts we can put in one thread, i'd rather use this to respond, etc. and sure, if you want to use that yuzu, you can...just remember to keep an eye on things as you may need to add water from time to time even on low heats. and your glaze doesn't sound hideous...always taste test though to make sure it's not more sour than sweet and vice versa! :D

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/25/2008 7:23:17 PM
pork steak? hmmmm....and fruit spread?....well, since you were seeking apps, you could cut it into small pieces after grilling, throw it in a slow cooker with your fruit spread, a dash of vinegar, a bit of garlic and pinneapple juice (you can probably get a small can or bottle of it at a corner store!) and let it simmer on low all day, adding water as needed (ie: sweet and sour pork). that'll make it very tender, easy for you to do and your guests can still help themselves! OR if you or your guests are geared more towards something a bit more filling bbq your pork, let it cool and shred it by hand into a slow cooker. throw in some smokey bbq sauce and brown sugar and let simmer. grab some hamburger buns and let the gals make their own bbq pork samiches!...i'm not sure what you have there for a meat cut so i'm picturing what an actual pork steak is. this is also useful for leftovers whether it's chicken or beef or pork! is it yuzu spread or the actual fruit or juice?

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/25/2008 5:38:35 PM
PS--> sweet potatoes are reccomended by physicians for eating well as they are low in starch (don't forget to peel them first!), salmon is super-good for you and use low fat cream cheese and sour cream if you're worried about calories, etc.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Hosting a Sex and the City party! Appetizer recipe ideas? Posted: 5/25/2008 5:35:27 PM
here's an idea...carrie eats them when she first meets mr big.... sweet potatoes, cut into one inch cubes smoked salmon sour cream (with or without dill) cream cheese colored toothpicks leave package of cream cheese out to soften. cube sweet potatoes and bake on a cookie sheet sprayed with cooking spray until puffy and slightly brown. let cool. meanwhile, mix cream cheese with sour cream with hand mixer until smooth (again you add dill if you wish) set in fridge. slice smoked salmon, one inch wide and wrap around sweet potatoe puffs. insert toothpicks and arrange on platter with dip in middle (preferably on a pink platter) serve with cosmopolitans! love sex and the city!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 98 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 8:03:53 PM
I think what a lot of people here objected to, including myself, was the fact the OP pestered and badgered and harangued his ex into fitting into his narrow requirements. That to me spells control issues. ok, what part of this is controlling? Personally, hair disgusts me. She knew this as we talked about it earlier in our relationship...The longer we were together the longer the time between shaving her legs and muff became...After many polite failed attempts, i finally snapped and asked what the hell was wrong with her...For the record, i'm not talking about a few days worth of stubble, or even a week, i'm talking weeks and up to a month and a half and i'm talking 70's muff here folks... 70's! Take it in :-) A) people do not seem to know how to read. B) people do not seem to how to comprehend what they are reading or C) a combination of both A+B so her later refusing to do what she did in the beginning, knowing full well he didn't like it, not seem a bit more controlling? it does to me...seems like she's trying to control the sex life for whatever reason rather than be honest perhaps (just an idea, not fact although i'm sure many will comprehend it incorrectly!) she knew going into the relationship how he felt about it and could have decided to not continue seeing him rather than take the relationship to a more serious level, if she felt that strongly about it (which she obviously didn't if she did it to begin with). by staying with him, it seems as though she was trying to change, badger and harangue him just in a less vocal and more subtle manner. [insert example here] so when a wife asks her husband repeadily to take out the garbage only to have it sit there for a week and then blows up at him she's controlling too right? OR when a mother asks her child for a month to clean his/her room and then grounds them or yells and becomes extremely agitated by that must mean she's abusive and controlling right?[end of example] it isn't a "control" issue when someone makes their feelings clear upfront on any issue. it's a control issue, antagonistic and just plain childish when someone who is fully aware of the bothersome issue refuses to respect a person's feelings when they had no problem doing so in the beginning.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 7:15:54 PM
Going to church does not involve 'altering beliefs and feelings'; it just involves getting into a vehicle and travelling to a location where you sit for a while. You were being stubborn and uncooperative in refusing to go. Getting in a snit because your SO refuses to take a sharp object to her delicate skin is not at all the same matter although this post isn't about religion, i brought that up as an example, how people thought i should compromise on something as serious as religion but a girl shouldn't yield on something that she had initially done when she began seeing the guy and then just stopped. it isn't as though i went to church with this guy and then one day decided i was uncomfortable. just as nearly everyone does not expect someone who is not christian to walk into a christian church, i should not be expected to. it's extremely offensive. what a stupid f'n remark to say that someone should do something they are uncomfortable with in regards to their beliefs and something that is a socially serious issue, but trimming a few hairs is a big deal!?! do you realize how dumb that sounds? hate to break it to you, but she could have used an electric razor with a guard on it also to keep from getting out of control....there are many on the market that come in many shapes in sizes. not trimming a few measly hairs to please your partner when you did it when you first got together is being stubborn and uncooperative. what is more of a serious social issue here? religion or pubic hair??? now that i've dealt with the village idiot, back to the topic at hand... I don't know what kind of baby apes some of you people dine on but for the most part, when a man who has showered, any extranneous hair is already gone. And I am not chomping away at him in a way that would pull his hair out! The most sensitive areas don't even have any hair. That remark about people liking to floss is just silly and offensive. I won't dignify it with any more of a response than this ok, i'll say it again....it doesn't/didn't need to be bare, just well groomed! for cripes sakes, some people's body hair is out of control and simple bathing doesn't look after it! when it's bursting from the seams of your drawers that is not sexy! when you have to comb your way through to find what you are looking for that is not sexy!...did it occur to anyone that perhaps this girl may have been one of these people? i'll repeat myself again, he simply asked numerous times, politely at first, over a long period of time to get it a little neater and she refused when she used to do it. she also used to shave her legs and stopped doing that as well. THAT is being stubborn, uncooperative, lazy, selfish and disrespectful to her partner.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 6:29:08 PM
circe 1... ^^it isn't about being a chore. how disgusted is someone in a restaurant when they find hair in their food? mmmmmm yeah nothing better than gagging on fur balls while making love circe 1! that definitely sets the mood when you need a weed wacker to find your way! oh baby that's hot! also, i noticed that some people who are ripping this guy apart about this saying it's her body, etc., feel a woman should trim when wearing a bathing suit so that strangers aren't looking at it, etc. shouldn't it be the other way around? her partner, the one who sees it up close on a regular basis (among other things!) doesn't count? that's ridiculous. so it's more important for a person to take care of themselves and worry about the feelings of those who do not know them, don't care about them for public outings more so than the person they share a bed with? god forbid a person cares more about their mates feelings than the general public and strangers. duh! shot yourselves in the foot with that one folks! thanks Sabrosura.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 6:20:08 PM
tsk tsk tsk....litefoot77 when u grow up u can...perhaps finish school and learn to spell! shouldn't make fun of someone and put them down when you can't even type the insult out correctly! i still don't see why people are so upset at this guy's reaction. i'm all about being the independant woman, however, if a woman expects to be treated like a lady and be respected by her partner, she also has to respect her partner and their feelings. again, he never said she had to wax or use a depilatory...keeping it from being overgrown weeds would have been sufficient as he already stated more than once! kudos to Perfect 4 You. nice to see another woman who can really see where this guy is coming from and doesn't automatically make the assumption that he has "control issues"!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 4:39:36 PM
OP, if it was that big a deal to you then you should have been honest with the woman and not told her that you do not like body hair but that it sickens you and you cannot tolerate it in a relationship. At that point she has the ability to shave or leave OMFG!! has no one read the original post!?!?! he made it clear he didn't like it while they were together and she still wouldn't compromise!! she did it before and just stopped...that's being selfish. why is this guy getting trashed?!! Thanks but i prefer to look like a woman and not a girl. lol...if you think that trimming or removing hair in some spots while still leaving some in others, is looking like a "girl" and not a woman, you may have growth problems in other areas aside from down there and may want to seek the aid of a doctor for developmental assistance! I don't see what the big deal is. It's just hair. since you feel he shouldn't think it's that big of a deal because "it's just hair" then it shouldn't have been that big of a deal for her to keep in check either...especially since it wasn't an issue for her in the beginning! he didn't ask her to "remove it on a regular basis all year round" or "to rip out any amount of hair anywhere" she could have shaved from time to time. letting it go for over a month?!! he just asked that she keep it to a point where he wasn't flossing or screwing sandpaper; that's not an unreasonable request. if his ex had posted that she found his pubes offensive and gross, all the women here would think he was a jerk for not being "sensitive to her needs", inconsiderate and disrespectful of her preference since he looked after it in the beginning and then stopped for no apparent reason, and would have suggested she demand he atleast trim! geez these forums have such double standards! the general concensus from 95% of posts here is that he should have done all the compromising and she didn't have to do any. that's just retarded!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 3:17:29 PM
um excuse me, but all he was asking for was he to keep in check, not complete baldness. i get mine waxed and leave a little...i definitely do not look like a child honey! besides, there is nothing more disgusting then going to the beach or something and seeing pubes exploding from a swimsuit shivers that's just nasty!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 3:02:30 PM
am i the only one in here who read the post correctly?!!... beachybunnie I started to mention it to her and she kinda just brushed it off. For a few months she continued at the same pace. I started getting angry that she was brushing off my requests for her to shave more frequent and it was such a turn off that it started affecting our sex lives. After many polite failed attempts, i finally snapped and asked what the hell was wrong with her. She said it's totally normal and no woman shaves her legs that much. I said she's wrong and every woman (every woman i've ever been with anyway) keeps there body hair in check. he said he discussed the situation with her the other day, yes, but the focus of him getting angry over itwas while they were still together...and so what if he got upset? you mean to tell me you've never reached a breaking point with a S.O.? don't bother answering that in the negative because you'd be lying! i understand how he feels. who really wants to floss while pleasing their significant other? or feel like they're having sex with a brillow pad? seriously, she did it before, so why go a month or more as the relationship progressed? also, it isn't as though she was a brunette and he demanded she dye her hair blonde. it's not that big of a deal if it means your sex life is going downhill because of it...geez people, it isn't as though he was asking her to have sex with another person while he watched! i posted a while back about religion in a relationship. i broke up with a guy because i wouldn't attend church once in a while with his parents and nearly everyone in that forum told me that i should have compromised for his sake because relationships are all about compromise if it means making the other person happy...while this is different, why should people alter their beliefs and feelings for the sake of another but not continue to look after themselves the way they did in the beginning of a relationship? her keeping the tree trimmed isn't all that time consumming nor is it THAT big of a deal for her to allow it to affect their sex life and relationship. she did it earlier on in the relationship, she knew how he felt as the relationship went on and still refused. she was simply antagonizing him and being inconsiderate. if he had put the situation into the contex of they had sex in the beginning and then she stopped putting out despite his best efforts or talking about different things to spice it up, people would say she was a tease or had some psychiatric problems with sex and that he should take her to counselling or break up. no one would say he was "controlling". good grief! everytime a man posts in the relationship forums people assume that he just MUST be controlling and abusive but never the women!! get a grip people! it's absolutely ludicrous that people think he's controlling because he discussed the issue of why their relationship went south after the fact...ex-couples do that all the time. sighi guess i'm an abusive, controlling partner too in a relationship as well if my guy tended to the garden and then 6 months down the road decided to let the weeds overtake it and it pissed me off despite the fact he knew how i felt and asked nicely for him to correct the problem.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 3:41:18 AM
you may want to reconsider whether or not you have the right to foist your preferences on someone again, he made those preferences clear early in the relationship. if she felt that offended by it, then she should have ended it rather than let herself go. and everyone has preferences when it comes to their mate. like i said, if it wasn't a problem for her to look after herself in the beginning, then why was it as time went on? as he said, he wasn't talking about a few days or a week...he's talking about a month or more and that's a bit excessive. i prefer someone who is clean...i understand that from time to time this isn't always possible (after a workout, doing yard work, etc.) . however, don't expect me to be turned on by sweat and stench either as i would not do it to another after cleaning or something. so i must be a bad and controlling person if i wanted my mate to shower before he snuggles up or climbs in bed as opposed to when he's all sweaty and gross? hair control is a form of personal hygiene!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Lower body hair. Posted: 5/19/2008 3:29:04 AM
why is it that when people get into relationships they sometimes tend to "let themselves go"?? this goes for both men and women. the longer people are in a relationship, the less they worry about how they present themselves. i can somewhat see his point. while i think the reaction to the situation was a little strong, i can understand it if during the first part of your relationship, she looked after herself in that regards then the longer you were together, the less she felt the need to impress. if you had voiced how you really didn't like it and she kept ignoring it, then it was no doubt a reaction to further antagonize you and that's a little childish. i mean seriously guys, if a girl showed up to a first date with furry legs wearing a skirt you mean to tell me you wouldn't be turned off? my ex had this ratty, icky old shirt he used to wear around the house and wanted to wear it out grocery shopping one day and i said that i'd go alone if he did. he knew i hated...he had never worn it out in public before, and definitely didn't wear it when we had first started dating so why should it be any different a year, etc., later? why do people think that the more comfortable they are in a relationship, the less they need to try? besides, in relationship issues forums, i've seen many preach the "compromise" card constantly for things that are more important. she obviously knew it really bothered him to allow the garden to go wild, would it have killed her to have weeded it a little more frequently? this wasn't about control, it was about preference which he made clear and she chose to not only ignore, but purposely develop into an issue by doing it less and less. it wasn't a problem for her in the beginning and it definitely should not have become a problem as time went on.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 140 (view)

Monkey Shirt Racist? Posted: 5/17/2008 4:41:58 PM
Yes African immigrants are struggling in the Toronto area. which was pointed out by the canadian afro society and not a racist group. and wtf are you talking about trying to make this canada vs the usa?? i didn't bring up the toronto issue, simply corrected the assumption people made by using ACCURATE and LEGITIMATE facts. I'm guessing you don't know much about sociology or the reality that when born into poverty with low chances of social mobility, a person regardless of race is much more likely to indulge in criminal activity. we all have the same options and opportunities. you even pointed out that regardless of a persons race they're more likely to do criminal activity if they're in poverty. everyone has a choice. i know plenty of people who grew up in severe poverty and they made the choice not to induldge in criminal activity. And you completly missed my point, but that seems to be a habbit of yours seems to be a habit of yours also. you said that article was written by "the white man" when it wasn't...the stats came from the afro canadian group. who missed the point that time!?! and how is thinking or seeing people in this world the same so that i do not define people by color, ethnicity or religion, etc., ignorant? isn't that how it's supposed to be? so now because i thought of barrack obama as a politician as opposed to a black politician, racist? that doesn't even make any sense! isn't the whole issue is that every group wishes to be treated the same and with equality? you just proved my point! i'm done with you 2....you're idiots who read one sentence and nitpick it rather than read the entire post and general message. learn to debate properly, research your topic and then perhaps you can actually debate in a proper manner with me! toodles! i'm out!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

So many former chefs Posted: 5/17/2008 8:56:11 AM
spumoni spinoza i also put in that post that it is better to find a school where you are doing hands on and not just classroom the course i attended was all hands on where we served 2 different lunches to the rest of the school. one side was more fancy french food and the other was like a homemade food (like many restaurants). we worked in the kitchen prepping, cooking and cleaning from 8-3 and then from 3-4 taking theory. we switched sections every week. from meat, to veg, to starch, to sauces to soups, baking etc. sounds like what you taught was more the artistic and not the actual nitty gritty. hotandhunky what the poop are you talking about? each cook that has posted has mentioned the lack of pay...did you not read ANYONE'S post? we all said it!

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 132 (view)

Monkey Shirt Racist? Posted: 5/16/2008 6:45:06 PM
^^^well put looneytunz^^^ i had commented before that barrack obama had the grace and dignity to pick and choose his battles. i would imagine that perhaps he had taken it as a politician joke rather than a racist one since it was done to the current president. he knows that by putting himself in the position he's going to have people who mock and disagree with him more so because of politics and not race. knowing to pick your battles is a great trait.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

So many former chefs Posted: 5/16/2008 6:41:19 PM
well put daisica^^ i loved that feeling as well when everything was going right. it was great when you could run the grill, stove and fryers alone and it felt as though you were moving 100 miles an hour doing it and everything came out great and the slackers would stand back and let you do your thing. a few of them shook their heads at me one night and said i was like a machine with the way i moved and how precise everything was. the best part came next when the manager had been watching too and told them they should take notes and maybe someday they'll be half as good! those times were what made it all worth while. it truly is a passion that you have to have deep down to do.

vicious_vixen

Joined: 7/28/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

So many former chefs Posted: 5/16/2008 3:39:57 PM
Those culinary schools aren't all they're cracked up to be. i wouldn't go quite that far. while yes, hands on is much better, it's better to find a school where you are doing hands on and not just classroom. sorry, but i've trained dozens of cooks who had more experience than me in restaurants yet couldn't cook a steak on a grill to save their life because there is an actual proper way to do it. same with baking. there is an actual science to it and you learn why things react the way they do...how to tell things by smell, sight and touch. you also learn how to be artistic, to properly present a plate, learn how food cost is calculated (and no it isn't solely based on the cost of the actual food!) it's both a business and an art form. don't trash cooking schools if you've never actually experienced one.

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