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swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 130 (view)

Turned 50 and it's different (shallow thread) Posted: 7/20/2009 11:29:34 PM
I think you look fabulous!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 7/20/2009 11:20:33 PM
I dont think partying or drinking with your teens is right either. What a ridiculous comment. I have driven over the speed limit etc. I am expressing my opinion. Doesnt have to agree with everyone else's. One's values should coincide with their partners. Doesnt make him a bad guy, we just werent compatible.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/5/2009 4:49:07 PM
Yes I think that is a true statement. He has only had 7 mos of separation from a 20 yr marriage, so it is too soon for the girl. He also had another gal friend prior to me, so heaven knows what happened there? I don't know what the girl has against me? I have been nothing but nice to she and her dad. It is now a battle with my daughter and she insisting that if they want to be friends they can, so be it! From a 19 yr old and a 28 yr old who have met two or three times. The guy defends his daughter at every turn. It is better to know now then later. My 22 yr old daughter and my son didnt like him at first either, but after spending time w/him they like him now. I never told him they didn't like him though. Why he told me over and over recently that she couldn't stand me, is beyond me? He talks thrash on everyone, so it doesn't surprise me really. I am not discussing it with my daughter anymore, she gets angry, and then I do. So, lesson learned. Never too old to learn.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/5/2009 2:48:35 PM
I think because this girl insisted that my daughter would remain friends with her. They barely know one another. She contacts my daughter, not the other way around. My daughter has plenty of friends. As mentioned, my daughter is nice to everyone and likes to be in the devil's advocate position. His daughter is totally on his side and thinks he is awesome. My kids are very close to me, yet they don't think I don't make mistakes. They are the first to tell me., when they believe I am wrong. It would be nice if they were more loyal is all. Can't change people though, but it hurts a bit, yes. This daughter placed a big wedge between the mom and the dad as well I am told. She has no reason to not like me is the thing that is hurtful. I welcomed her into my family for holidays and parties. Can't please everyone. Bottom line, I am a bit hurt and you can't control others. I think she is rubbing it in to prove she is right, my daughter will be nice to her. My daughter said as long as you dont talk about my mom, we can be friends. It will all work out. No one is immune to being hurt or disappointed.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/5/2009 9:40:15 AM
I agree. I am getting too upset about this. My daughter(the one) seems to do this with everyone in my family. She is rebellious. she can befriend whomever she wants to. The one thing his daughter doesn't like, is that they all smoke pot together, and I refuse to. It sets a poor example to do something like that with your kids. He has been doing it with his kids for years. If it were just he and I, things would probably be fine. I think, it will take more time for her to get accustomed to her dad paying attention to someone else, other than her. Through trials and tribulations, my kids used to guilt me about who I dated and being at their beckon call, not anymore. I make my own decisions. I need to chalk it up to experience and remember the good times and learn from it.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/5/2009 8:05:42 AM
My daughter chooses her own friends, she is kind to everyone. The point is, they have only met two or three times. I have three kids. They don't all necessarily like who I am dating either, but they have their lives and I have mine. I make my own decisions, I am aware when my kids are manipulating me or playing a guilt trip on me, been there, done that. This man really doesnt see it. He is not divorced and was married a long time, his daughter says she is ok with it, but it is obvious she isn't ok with it, She has issues with her mother, they dont get along, so she clings to her dad. When we broke up she was a big part of it. I make my own decisions, he based his a lot on her feelings. We all live and learn. My daughter can of course be friends with whomever she wants to. She has a tendency to defend the underdog, always has, devil's advocate lol., We will be fine. And yes, the daughter's boyfriend is now making prank calls to me. The daughter thinks this is all a big joke and that she has won. But, really we all lose. Breaking up is difficult. It takes time for teens or older to accept someone new in the picture. This gal said she liked me and was cool with it, she aparrently wasn't. Thanks for your comments. We continally live and learn.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/4/2009 3:44:49 PM
Hmm, thanks for the comments.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Teenagers and older kids causing problems Posted: 6/4/2009 2:34:24 PM
Have many of you had relationships ending in chaos and turmoil due to teens or older kids? I have had my share of this, but now my kids are older. They still give me input and can be negative, but for the most part, stay out of things now. I was with someone 6 mos, lives close by, really good to my mom visiting her in the hospital, very compassionate person. He has 4 daughters,married 20 yrs, going through divorce. We don't have a lot in common. I am more straight laced. He likes to stay home w/his dog, hang out with neighbors, play pool, smoke dope with his kids and work. Anyway, things were pretty good. Then I noticed when his daughter who lives in 45 min away, knew we were together, she would call & have long conversations with him. She visits him often, every two weeks and stays a few days. He began to get mad when my kids would talk to me when on the phone and say "call back when you arent busy." He wouldn't go out with me when she was there visiting her friends, as he said that is rude. She is 19 and has a live in boyfriend. She is here every holiday as well. When she came with her dad to my family functions, she gets engrossed in our conversations when we were alone. Now she says she doesnt like me. I have spoken maybe 10 words to the girl. He doesnt see it, nor does he care. She wants his undivided attention. What I am upset about, this girl insists on still being friends with my 28 yr old daughter.I asked them to please respect my wishes, as they hardly know one another and we aren't together now. My daughter thinks it is fine. It upsets me. She was the first to announce to my daughter that we broke up. she goes to my daughters house, calls her first, initiates things. My daughter isnt being loyal. This girl tells her Dad, "I told you we would still be friends." I wont say anything to the girl. I wish they would just leave us alone now.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 284 (view)

Is It Cheating If Its Only Online???? Posted: 11/23/2008 10:23:33 PM
Well, if you are in a committed relationship, I believe it is. I don't mean to be cynical, but I was married and my hb was not only doing porn, but I found out he was sending ecards to women and letters. We ended up getting a divorce. It hurt me, because it made me feel I wasnt good enough. We were married 4 yrs. I wish you the best of luck. Keep your eyes open and keep your head up, you deserve honesty and open communication, not deception and lies. Boundaries are important. When you think you are in love it is amazing how naive we can be. Love hurts.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 11/23/2008 10:17:12 PM
I like that your photos show various sides of your personality and the full length photos and up close. You are honest and clear, concise, I think you will do well on here. Good luck to you!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/26/2008 9:52:33 PM
I said that in one of my remarks here. I am not into him, I am over it. I was basically asking WTF like one poster did, that's all. It is not a big deal.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/26/2008 9:10:43 PM
Cale, nice to know there are men who have a heart and possess intelligence. Good luck to you. Posting your thoughts in public can expose one to all kinds of assessments. This is being made into something bigger than it is. He omitted several things I see now. We owe each other nothing, I didnt know him well at all. He's a player, still my opinion. But, hes not a terrible guy. Everyone has good traits, so you live and learn.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Again, let's call it what it is: he lied. And there is no excuse for that. Posted: 6/26/2008 9:01:58 PM
Just drop it. I told you my thoughts and I am over it. Thanks to those with the sound advice. The harsh ones are just haters, with no heart. I wish good luck to everyone on here, because regardless of age, educational background, appearance, economic level, it hurts when you think youve been played. Art you couldve talked to me, you dont need to respond to people here, it was a personal topic, and not addressed to you. I was asking others their opinion, men. Your ego is too involved. Play on...Hope you dont do this to someone else. I wont post anymore. Good luck daters, hopefully there are men out there with dignity and a heart.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 8:46:00 PM
LiWoman, you are right. I am done. Some give good advice on forums and some are just bitter and like to thrash. Its unreal. It just didnt make sense to me the way the guy did it, it isnt that big of a deal though. I've over it.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 5:21:03 PM
thats true. I am surprised at my age that anything can throw me, it did a bit. There are good guys out there though.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 5:19:36 PM
You are being ridiculous and if you dont have any constructive comments, dont comment. You are being condescending.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 5:14:17 PM
Using the word stalking in any sense to me is not funny. He relisted me as a favorite, thats why I know he is back on here. I told him I didnt want to talk anymore and good luck to him last we spoke. I dont care what he does.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 5:06:17 PM
I agree the distance thing is a clincher. He hid his profile he told me, right after we met. I didnt ask him to. I told him I wasnt taking mine off yet. He got back on the next day, after saying he was waiting to see what developed with the other gal. I am not saying he is a bad guy. I will refrain from asking if someone is a game player, I know I dont like getting painted with the same brush as all women either. Thanks for your comments.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 5:02:04 PM
The stalker remark was out of line. Thanks for your comment, I am sure you are right. Weird a guy goes on and on about how much he is into you and then a few hrs later got reacquainted with someone else and wants to see where it will go. Life goes on.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 4:48:17 PM
I meant game player, because he is back on here right away, so he must not be THAT into the other gal either. He listed me as a favorite. I am not a stalker. Seems odd at 12 he wanted to see me so badly and told he took his profile off, told me he was so into me,and yet 5 hrs later wanted to reunite with someone else. Its not a crusher or anything, just curious what guys may think. I am talking about a 54 yr old man btw with a very healthy male ego. You dont need to be rude.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Honesty Posted: 6/22/2008 4:33:39 PM
Went out twice, two long great dates. We communicated often. and agreed there was chemistry. He calls me and tells me he can't wait to see me, how he took his profile off here. He is a 50 min drive away. He never complained about the distance. Later that day, I call to see where it is we are meeting, and he says "I have to tell you something. I had lunch with a friend and I miss her and her kids. It wouldn't be fair to go out with you, I want someone closer, that I can do things with." I was suprised. He seems to be really into me. I am at a loss for words. I go on today and see that he is back on here. I am confused. I am not brokenhearted, didnt know him very well. He seemed like a great guy, very together, yet blunt and straightforward, cut n dry. He told me of one gal that was too young for him that he shared dog time with. I dont know if this is the same gal or not? I told him not to contact me anymore. Think he's a game-player, didn't want to drive anymore, or just not that into it? Dazed.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 782 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 4/26/2008 8:40:42 PM
Well, good topic... I grew my hair out, it is thick,long and wavy. It requires more care now than it used to. It is as others have mentioned, easier to put up, ponytail, etc in the summer. If I cut it now, I would keep it mid length, but afraid to cut it, as it took long time to get it this long, It is more than half way down my back, past bra line. I get compliements from men and women. I think it makes me appear youthful. I wont keep it long forever. My mom still has long hair and she is 66, although it isnt as long as it used to be. I find I lose so much hair it is scary. It is all over the floor, my car, my chair at work, on my clothes. I dont know if this is due to poor diet, or age or because it is so thick? But I do know I lose more now than I did in the past. It requires a lot of work, however I think it is worth it, for now...

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 392 (view)

Is kissing more or less important to you in a relationship as you get older? Posted: 4/21/2008 10:05:15 PM
Ahhh. sorry I should've checked typo's....

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 391 (view)

Is kissing more or less important to you in a relationship as you get older? Posted: 4/21/2008 10:02:45 PM
Kissing reveals a lot about a person. Chemistry is of course crucial in kissing. Someone who is respectful at the time of the first famous kiss is good. If someone attacks you aggressively and it isn't reciprocative... now that's not cool! If they are sloppy, controlling, selfish, no thanks. I think kissing is indicative of intimacy. Yes, you can make some suggestions verbally or by gently persuading someone to kiss more to your liking I gues?. I love kissing someone I am really into, especially in the beginning of dating. Slow, passionate kissing like you mean it ,is like the best most pleasureable, intimate forms of expressing emotions. Kissing(xxxxx) is a lost art....

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

Proper ladies don`t go out alone! Posted: 3/30/2008 3:16:27 AM
It seems women as well as men should be able to go out alone and feel comfortable, guess it depends on the surroundings. I agree, in Europe it isn't the same. It doesn't seem right. I have gone out by myself, once went to Mazatlan and got to know some cool people out and about. I don't know that I would do it now though? I have gone out on a couple of occassions and thought the same, I will go for a drink and sure enough people ask , "Are you with someone?" And I replied, "yes" so they would leave me be. Not always in the mood to socialize and have someone buy you a drink, you know? Proper ladies should feel confident and be able to have a drink and be left alone, if that is your desire... Yes...

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 155 (view)

What really excites your date after 45 Posted: 3/9/2008 11:15:56 PM
Anywhere with sports on a big screen, or live music, a drink(can be soda,wine, whatever your choice of beverage is) so you can relax and be in a public environment. I think coffee is impersonal, when someone suggests that, it turns me off to be honest. Anywhere you feel comfortable, no pressure.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 373 (view)

Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married? Posted: 3/9/2008 11:10:49 PM
Agree wholeheartedly. It depends on the person and the chemistry. Life is good, I am in no hurry to get hitched. Sometimes we get desperate when we are in our twenties ,thirties and allow others to cross our boundaries and we choose to ignore the red flags. As I've gotten wiser and older my perspectives have changed. I am not cycnical, still hoping someone will excite me and it will be mutual. But I also have standards and wont just settle so I can be with someone... Sometimes it would be nice to trust someone enough that they could help with decisions and companionship is wonderful. However, marriage, no not in a hurry.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/19/2008 10:05:57 PM
Nextthyme: I appreciate your comments. There were many things about this gent that set out red flags to me, but you are right, I liked him and thought well, if he understands where I am coming from, that I wanted him to be patient and cease the pushing, time will tell. One note I left off, I saw him out with another woman 2 nights after I met him,said hi and he was rude. I text'd him and asked why later and he wrote back n forth being Mr. tough guy. Then he writes back at midnight and says, "The girl you saw me with, I decided I want you, not her." Out of the blue, weird. There are many instance of him saying abrupt things, or calling me out of the blue to go out. I could just tell there was something he was hiding. BTW, your photo with your hair spread out around your face is stunning! I am not writing on the forum anymore, tired of being bashed. I have had some productive advice given, as yours and it's nice to know there are some intelligent, nice people out there!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/17/2008 5:39:32 PM
You took that out of context. He is struggling with whom he wants to be with, men or women. I choose to be with someone who is straight, which is what he told me he was. Saying that it is a joke, was my question. Is someone saying what he said a joke, or is he just covering up? I was very nice and attentive when he was talking, I didn't say anything. He acts like a player who talks about sex constantly. I was deceived. I am not going to defend my religious convictions, nor about being judgemental, I wasn't. It was a shock after knowing someone 6 months. We all have choices about who we go out with or are intimate with. I am straight. I am in theatre, so I don't judge, nor get surprised when one of my friends says they are gay. If they are happy, great, how many of us are truly happy? This isnt about my judging and I am tired of defending my choice to drop the guy, you dont joke about those things, after being asked several times. If he in confused, then he needs to deal with that himself. I love people for who they are regardless of race, gender, sexual preference. Enjoy your life!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/17/2008 3:04:05 PM
The note was meant for slumberparty, thank you!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/17/2008 3:02:25 PM
You give extremely sound, productive advice, thank you for your well wishes. Good luck to you as well!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/16/2008 9:39:45 PM
Yeah, thanks for your comments. I can see through people pretty well. The guy left me like it was no big deal. He isnt a mean person, just always seemed to be hiding something. I would ask about his childhood, family, his kids and he just seemed to be closed. He called many times that night and twice in the morning. He has not called since. He isnt the type to even try hard, he never did. It was always me having to prove that I would be into just him and get offline, be in a relationship with him. If I didnt call him, he would go out with someone else, it was strange. He asked if I would go to Vegas and marry him last week, he was always coming up with startling comments. He will only date cauc women, yes he is good looking and tall,humorous. He had some to drink that night, after being really attentive and romantic. This all transpired in the car, saying good night. I have known the gent about 6 mos.dated on and off. He asked me to stay over night constantly and I wasnt ready. He was nice about it, not aggressive. He drives a school bus so, he just seemed like a family type, upstanding guy. He would contradict himself at times though, saying he couldnt go out to the same spot, because he had gone out with many others there. He always said, yes, everyone loves me. I sent him a note and told him my feelings, I wont hear from him for awhile, he pops in and out of my life when he decides to. I will be fine, it was just strange. Got to be careful who you open your heart up to.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/16/2008 10:53:35 AM
First of all, HE is the one who insists on going to church. I dont push religion on anyone. I dont have casual sex. I dont slap eye candy on him, those photos are getting ready for a formal night on a cruise, and I wore a shawl. I dress conservatively normally. I don't tease or toy, I am not a near virgin, just particular who I am intimate with. The guy is obsessed about talking about sex and I felt uncomfortable. We wont see one another again. The guy is a player, so dont feel too sorry for him.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 10:01:20 PM
Sorry you had a disappointing one as well. I love Salem, Oregon is such a place of beauty.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 9:59:00 PM
I realize how that looks, I explained above, from dancing with him, and what he claimed. I have never been with the man.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 9:45:26 PM
Thanks, I am still hurt though...

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

There Is hope for 50 plus people to find happiness Posted: 2/15/2008 9:38:06 PM
That is a very good point.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 9:32:28 PM
He was drinking that night, two large margaritas. Why he insists he was joking is what bothered me, the man talked on and on about it. He talks about sex and pushes me every single time we have been out. Yes, it sounds like he is curious about men. Why he called me so many times that night and this morning puzzles me. He insists he was joking. He told me he has said the same thing to other women and they said "No way" you are not gay. I said the same thing at first. I dont know if it was his way of ending things between us, or if he is having such sexual performance anxiety that this is his way of covering it up? He said he thinks he needs viagra. When a man is in his late 40's that is a pretty common practice. I said I understand.He mentioned that he has had trouble in the last two relationships. I said previously, sex isnt that crucial to me, two people who love each other work it out. I was being supportive and a good listener. It is just baffling. He is a player and goes out often, so I am sure he is fine. He said he was leary of being seen at the dance place we go to, as he has dated so many women there before.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 8:51:45 PM
He is the one who told me he did one thing for an occupation, then later told me he didnt tell the whole truth, he didnt make much money and didnt feel he was good enough for me. He said it, not me. That obviously had nothing to do with anything, because as mentioned we had a good time together and I was into him and ceased dating others to try to make things work. I didnt care how much money he made. I am not a gold digger, I have a business and am a hard working woman. I dont need a man's money. I really liked the guy. I dont know if he told me that to shock me, or play games, or to see if I would deal with it and stay with him. I didnt write on here to get bashed. To say he was joking after the whole conversation is what bothered me. I think he needs to deal with things, without me. I didnt bash him or critique him. I choose to be with a straight man, and someone who is honest. I believe he may have trouble telling the truth also.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 7:48:04 PM
I didnt write this to be judgemental. I only brought up the Christian aspect, because we had gone to church together. If he thinks he is bi or whatever, that is his choice. I wasnt harsh about it, I just said I cant see you anymore. I havent seen him to know he is well endowed, he has told me he is, and when we are dancing he has been a little aroused, that is it, I have never been intimate with him. He may be exageratting, I have no idea. All I was asking is from a male perspective if someone saying that could be a joke, was it an appropriate thing for him to say to someone you are desirous of dating? I really didnt know what to say to him. I wasnt mean about it though.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 7:43:33 PM
Thanks for your comments. I met this gent online and he wanted to take me away from the guy he saw me with at a local mall months ago. I saw him out with another woman, but I was with someone. This guy would tell me he wants to be with just me, then if he didnt talk to me for a few days, would go out with someone else? He said he feels he isnt good enough for me? He acts like he is "all that." He jokes about everything and seems aloof and yes, like a player. He took me to dinner Valentines' and we had such a nice time. I dont understand why he ruined things, by discussing his questioning his sexual preference for 15 minutes saying goodnight? He kept asking me to jump thru hoops to show him I wanted a relationship. I also date often. I just keep getting disillusioned by people. I think most people inherently are honest and moral and have good intentions. At my age, I shouldn't be so naive. I have a wall up, and had attempted to drop it a bit with him and try. Then he evokes this nonsense. I have asked a couple of male friends, they said it is not a joke, someone secure in their gender and sexual performance wouldn't have discussed this with a woman they are attempting to be in a relationship with. It was just another test a friend told me. Honestly, I was shocked. I did send him a note explaining my feelings. It is too bad, we got along well and enjoyed one another's company. Guess looks and charm aren't everything, that's for sure. I just keep getting disillusioned by players or liars. How does one go about not being guarded, I am told constantly that I am guarded. After sending him my observations, he isnt calling now, but I am pretty certain he will start again, that's his previous style. He called me 6 times last night and this morning first thing. Maybe this time he realizes he totally blew it. Cant go back and try to solve other's issues. I am not his mother or a counselor. Gotta tell you, he pulled the rug out from under me! Well, thanks for listening.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

My Valentine's Date shocked me Posted: 2/15/2008 7:18:09 PM
We have been out approx 10 times. He wants to get offline and have a relationship. Nice looking guy, very tall, doesnt make much money, personable, dresses well, humorous, has two daughters, 9 and 15. He is 47 yrs old. He is very well endowed and I told him there is no way I could be with him intimately. We have gone to church together, and I told him he has to wait, and we have to get to know one another. He knows how important my faith is to me. We have a great time dancing, neither of us drinks a lot, he has come to my home and I have gone to his. Problem, he told me his last relationship and his marriage he had sexual problems. Said he needs to see a doctor for viagra. I was listening attentively. Then he says, sometimes with all these problems, I tingle when I see a man. I asked sev times, are you kidding? He said no. He stated, well if I was gay wouldnt I be gay since birth? Don't you ever want to have sex w/a gorgeous woman, I said no. I asked would you discuss this with friends, family, he said yes. I was shocked and appalled. He professed to be a Christian. He talks abot sex and asked me to stay over constantly and I say I am not ready. AFter giving me flowers and talking in the car Valentine's I said this was not appropriate for you to tell me. I am not a psychologist or physician. He said I was just joking after evening over. I told him I couldnt see him ever again. He said I am judgemental and being self righteous Christian. I wrote him a note and told him to please stop calling me over and over. I am so confused and hurt, shocked all the above. Is he gay? Bi, was it all a joke? Help please!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Interracial Relationships.. Posted: 2/7/2007 3:32:13 PM
It is 2007, love comes in all colors, shapes and sizes. When I see people who are happy together, it makes me smile, regardless of their ethnicity. We do have preferences and hopefully can let our walls down and be more open minded, because we might be missing a really great person. I have dated so many different ethic backgrounds. I try to judge solely based on their individual merits. It is easy to stereotype, however, it is really sad and can hurt not only others, but ourselves. There are beautiful traits in everyone, God loves all of us. I have met some fine Asian, black, caucasian and hispanic men.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Nov 22nd singles Party Posted: 11/20/2006 7:06:49 PM
Cool place, haven't been there in a while. Hope some more sign up! Join the fun!

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

How do YOU handle rejection? Posted: 11/4/2006 9:35:28 PM
I think most of us have at one time or another been rejected. IT stings. I try to consider that maybe it is the distance, or religious background, or something that I cannot control or would change. I don't like hurting feelings, so I usually don't write back at all if I feel there is no chemistry, or I write and just say thanks. Without meeting someone, I think it is tough to get shot down, when they havent even taken the time to get to know you as a person. There are many people I have sat and conversed with that I learned something from or really enjoyed, however I would not have met them just from their profile on the internet. There are nice people on the internet, guess you have to keep your head up, think positively and not take things personally.

swedishdawl

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Would you date someone with a lazy eye? Posted: 11/4/2006 9:13:54 PM
I actually met someone on here that had a lazy eye. I wonder if you went out with him also? hmmm.. It wasnt his lazy eye that made me not want to go out with him. Ours was a distance thing I guess?

SWEDISHDAWL

Joined: 8/1/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim Posted: 8/22/2006 10:56:38 AM
I KNEW MY EX 7 WKS, GOT MARRIED.Perfect guy, tall, went to church, owned home, new car, job 9 yrs. He started by slapping me across the face. It got so bad, my dghtr, 10 at the time wouldn't go to visit her own Dad, in fear he would hit me. The worst times with an abuser are when you threaten to leave, or do. It is a control issue. I thought he couldn't live without me. He didn't love me. He beat the hell out of me for 3 days on my birthday weekend once. He lost his job and was unemployed 18 months out of 4 yr marriage, things went downhill from there. I called police on him twice, he went to jail for 3 mos. He got a little better. Then he went for 2 1/2 yrs to prison,a caucasian architect. He got a degree in the pen I heard. Smart, charming guy. I haven't heard from him in 6 yrs. He abused me in every way, went to the emergency room and they took photos, bruises from head to toe. I dont trust anyone, I date alot, but just can't let anyone close. I try. I am a victim yes, but not a consumate victim. I turned him in, didn't want my daughter to live in that enviornment any longer. After trying for 4 yrs, I couldn't deal with it any longer. I went to counseling, with the victim's state program, it helped some.It always remains in my heart, that I just am not good enough. My self esteem issues have to do with childhood abuse also. I pray daily, keep my head up and appreciate life and my loved ones. I doubt I will ever fall for someone again. But, that's ok.

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