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Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 35 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 5:02:32 PM
I never said I made six times of what he does. I just said will be making much more. Utilities and food add up to almost as much as the rent. I don't see how that's not fair for someone that makes much less than me. As I said, we're talking about giving him a $100 (give or take) break from what he agreed. Maybe I should have given dollar amounts to put things in perspective. But then again, I'm going to stop responding until I see what he brings home and what he says. He doesn't even know I am thinking of asking him for less money. I did briefly mention we needed to talk about money when he comes home and he just said he's gonna keep working so he can have even more money for me tomorrow and I won't have to stress about it. So I'll update then.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 30 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 4:04:04 PM
Any grown man with any amount of integrity and maturity would NOT be happy with his "partner" supporting him. Bet he knew this when he made the move. You asked if you were naive, yes, you are. I give up; good luck. Good grief, can I at least have a chance to have the discussion with the man and see what he says! Also, he is bringing home some money today so, as I said in my original post, this might all be worrying for nothing. I have no idea how much it is. Might be $100, might be $500. Also, I wonder how much the gender double standard plays into this. Because I was looking at other people who were asking the same question. One woman moved in with her guy and he was paying TRIPLE of what she was paying plus both of their cell phones because of pay differences. Not one person called her a bad names (except for the fact she was whining about being asked to pitch in $50 for high utilities one month and even then some people took her side).

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 28 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 3:56:32 PM
@searcher I make a decent hourly wage but I am only part time. BUT I just got my RN license so as soon as I find a job (and it will be full time because my company requires it for new graduates) I will make between triple what I do now, not counting a little side job I recently started. So yeah, I will be making much more than him. That's why I originally thought covering all the utilities and most of food might be a better compromise. To me when you put it like that, rather than comparing dollar amounts, it seems like he's pulling his weight. And I did tell him since he doesn't have a regular paycheck, I won't be "rent is due by the 1st!!" as long as he's constantly giving me what he can. Hopefully he'll have a couple hundred dollars today. Anyone else have thoughts on that?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 26 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 2:11:00 PM
@searcher In regards to the "profit" and "enabling" statement, my original post on a different site was how to ask him for less money since he couldn't afford the 50/50 without making him feel like less of a man for not being able to pay what he thought he could. I make more money and it's my place so he's helping me out by chipping in on expenses I already have. I was thinking of having him pay 33-40%, which is about all the utilities and most of the food costs during months he was short, while I covered rent and remaining food (as long as we stay within the budget) and random things (like toilet paper). We both buy our own personal care items, pay for our own transportation, etc. My fear was by making him pay the full 50% when things are tight, he may not have money for his own basic expenses. He needs to be able to take the train across town to make money. But the original posters from the other site were saying I should make him pay what he agreed to. I understand the principle behind it but I guess I'm asking myself receiving $100 or so dollars less (the difference between 50/50 and the 60/40) enabling him or being more realistic about the situation?? And is $100 really worth giving up the non-monetary benefits of having him here? Like I said, my concern is him pulling his fair share. Right now, he hasn't given me much money but since my original post, he has stated he has some cash in hand from today (not sure how much). He does SEEM to want to pay but that's up to how much money he can pull in because I guess he does "hustle" instead of having a steady income". I honestly would be happy if he gave me 33-40% and picked up a few more house chores because to my bank account even 33% like an extra paycheck. That's what I meant by "pure profit", regardless of what he gives. But I'm guess I'm asking you guys (in comparison to the other folks) would it be naive of me to not make him accountable for the full amount or just take it as a learning experience for the both of us as we proceed to build our relationship? Thanks everyone. I will surely have a discussion with him today and update.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 19 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 1:13:25 PM
@ daynadaze I think you hit some great points although I want to make clear there is NO NAGGING. Today is the first I'm really going to bring it up as a "we really need to talk". Also, we do consider each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, we were both well aware this was a fast move and didn't look at it like we're planning marriage in 6 months. It was more of "It's clear we're going to spend all this time together so why pay two rents?" And I think you're right, if I had a "househusband" things would be much different and I probably wouldn't mind paying most of the costs. Perhaps a conversation about dividing housework a bit differently if the money isn't there would help balance things.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 1:04:42 PM
The title of your post confused me...I thought you said he was your boyfriend. He obviously ins't. He is your roommate. Since he avoids physical contact with the plague, you have stopped short of being roommate/ FWB. If you want a boyfriend, look elsewhere. It doesn't seem like he's into you. Huh??? What??? When did I ever say he avoids physical contact???

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 16 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 1:00:51 PM
So we've talked briefly in texts and he indicated he got paid "some" today. I take it as only as partial payment of what's owed but I have no idea what that is. So I'll see how much he gives me. He doesn't waste money as far as I can tell. The only luxury he has is an iPhone that he barters his services and a friend pays the bill, which I see no problem in bartering in general. I guess sometimes I don't know what he does as favors as opposed to getting paid. For example, he recently had some associates that were driving through town and he shot a video and edited it for them each time they passed though. I don't know if they paid him or it was a favor for friends because they took us out to dinner a few times during their stay. It was a lovely time and it helped me to understand his business a lot more. But I would have rather him had the cash than dinners. But then, what do I know? I just work in healthcare. Perhaps it's more "networking" and setting himself up for more business with them as they did seem to be doing well for themselves. And what they laid out on dinners was probably much more than he would have been paid, so I don't think they were trying to get out of anything. So of course, I kept my mouth shut about it, played my role in entertaining them, and hope it was a good investment for him.

francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 11:39:47 AM
And why are you in here if you're totally comfortable with the situation? Well yes, NOW I'm concerned. I'm asking for advice.

francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 7 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 11:24:18 AM
You should have figured this out ahead of time and gotten it in writing. We discussed it many times and I saw no need to get it in writing because as I said, the expenses are the same with or without him. I'm not going to take him to court. And it is 100% my place. So if didn't work out, he leaves, and all I've lost is time. But if I REALLY thought it wouldn't work out, I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/20/2013 10:42:39 AM
So this is kinda "long story short" since I posted this on another site and now looking for more feedback. Basically, a guy I was dating for a couple months long distance moved in with me. After the first few weeks of communicating, we talked nearly everyday for couple hours. He lived in my area but went back to Michigan after we first met because (as he claimed) to help his mom because his younger sister is pregnant and she was too busy during tax season to drive her to appointments and whatever. He works on his own developing websites so he is able to be mobile. Before that he was living with a friend. He claimed to be looking for a place on the other side of town (where he was living) and after a while, we decided he should just move here. When I told my best friends (all older than me), none of them told me I was crazy. They were happy for me so I thought it was ok. Other posters are saying he's more or less couch surfing and maybe his back story isn't what he presented it to be. Anywho, the issue came with splitting the bills, groceries, and random household supplies. He has agreed to do 50/50 (and seemed extremely confident it wouldn't be a problem) but his income isn't really supporting that. He does websites, managers people's social media accounts, and other tech, his own business. I know he's busy working a lot because I can SEE it, so I don't know if he's just a bad businessman, not charging enough, doing too many favors for friends or whatever. And I know his main client is doing programs at the local community college so he has to wait for the college to pay the guy then it will trickle to him. That's where he is right now and claims the guy should be paying him today, so perhaps this is all worrying for nothing. So I guess I'm trying to find that balance of not getting taken advantage of while not taking advantage of him. Should I decrease the amount?I had considered asking for less money than 50% because my expenses are EXACTLY the same whether or not he was here. The only thing that might of changed is food but it's even because we cook compared to when I spent money eating out all the time being single. So any money he gives me is pure profit. I feel bad asking him to stretch himself thin for money I don't "need". But other posters were saying that would just enable him and he needs incentive to work harder. Obviously I don't want a freeloader. He's given some money, but only about 25% of the agreed amount. I mean, if he showed up today with a good chunk his remaining balance, I would be happy with that. To me, that would show a good faith effort in trying to get the money together.If he doesn't have the money today as he promises, how should I approach it? I love having him here and don't want to kick him out so I feel that would be an empty threat (unless we went two months and I wasn't seeing any money come in). Should I try to get him to change how he's doing business?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 432 (view)

Black women and white men Posted: 1/17/2013 8:17:45 PM
Holy smokes!! This thing is still alive?!?!? I kinda feel proud that I made such an interesting topic. I gotta go back and read over a year's worth of responses!!

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 9 (view)

How to fake it til you make it? Posted: 12/20/2011 10:35:53 AM
Thanks for the tip on Toastmasters. I never heard of them but I looked it up and there are TONS of meetings in my area. I'll check one out tomorrow!!

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 3 (view)

How to fake it til you make it? Posted: 12/20/2011 9:31:47 AM
I don't think I need counseling but thanks for the offer. I also don't always "pick" men. I try to ask people out but most of the time I "take what I can get". I RARELY get asked out, unless someone is simply looking for sex. So when I an offer that sounds genuine, I give the guy a shot. But most of the time they're just hunting for sex as well. I know this is common with people my age so I don't take it too much to heart. But I guess I figured there's something about the women that make then WANT to know more about her, not just see her naked.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

How to fake it til you make it? Posted: 12/20/2011 9:20:21 AM
I'm not confident. I know I'm attractive, a good person, and have a lot going for me but the way I've been treated by my family and now by men makes it hard to truly believe those things. Also, I was really overweight up until now so I still have a "fat girl" mentality. Not to offend anyone but you know what I mean... I know men are attracted to confidence so I need to know how to LOOK confident so I can at least get some good dates. All I can find are men that smell my low self esteem and look to exploit it. I'm tired of that. I've done a lot over the years to boost my confidence but after every bad experience, I just blame myself again. I know I deserve better than I've been getting. I'm just hoping maybe after a few good dates, even if it doesn't turn into anything, I can BELIEVE I can actually have those things... I don't know if that makes sense or not. So men: what does confidence look like to you? Women: how would you go about trying to present yourself as more confident? I don't want to look full of myself or anything. I just want have that "look" and attitude that draws men in.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Going on a third date. I want to have sex but I'm on my period. How do I bring it up? Posted: 9/25/2011 12:11:05 PM
Seriously!??!?! If things get hot and heavy just tell the truth. We're all adults here.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 12 (view)

Nice way to... Posted: 8/18/2011 10:57:21 PM
Don't give him the "I don't date my brother's friends" line unless it's really the reason you want to turn him down. Just be honest and tell him you're not interested.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 12 (view)

excuses... confusion... ? Posted: 8/18/2011 6:43:40 AM
I would say the fact you gives live 2.5 hours away makes it much harder to meet. I suggest just telling him you're gonna give him some space to work things out but feel free to call you in a couple weeks when you both live in the same town. If he never calls back, oh well. But when you're 20 minutes away, he can swing a quick lunch to meet a lady he really likes.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Ever Dated Someone Who Wasn't Easy to Read? Posted: 8/18/2011 6:38:37 AM
I appreciate the quality advice here and I do plan on trying again over the weekend to set something up. I am just very new to this whole thing and I thought it should go much easier than it has. I really never had to try so hard before with someone. Dude are you even listening??? Just STOP asking her out. STOP calling. If she's interested she will come to you. If you guys still commmunicate, just say something like "Just call me if you ever want to get together sicne you're schedule seems to be pretty tight". Leave it at that and never mention dating again until she brings it up and even then, she better be READY with a time she can actually meet.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 7 (view)

is one of us/both of us being selfish? Posted: 8/18/2011 6:32:41 AM
Yeah, I say let him go. Sounds to me like he wants to go to the movie and you can tag along since you're so anxious to see him, but he could do without you.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

Coffee or something Fun? Posted: 8/17/2011 9:41:16 PM
Yeah, you're past the coffee stage. Something fun. If you're not sure what she's into, call her up and you guys can figure it out together!

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 54 (view)

Black women and white men Posted: 8/15/2011 9:44:33 AM
It has nothing to do with race - skin color. It's all about the "attitude". That " strong-independent-feminazi-my way or the highway-I am in your face black woman" attitude don't fly with me. Black, green, yellow, purple doesn't matter. You act like that - you get das boot! And me living in Baltimore and dating quite a few young professional black women... I've had enough, seen enough. Too much attitude. Lose that - I guarantee you, black women will triple their success rate with white men. I think that was an area thing, not a race thing. My brother lived in the DC area for a few years and he said the people were much different than Cleveland. He couldn't wait to move back. Maybe you need to come to the midwest!! However, her family labeled me a racist because I wasn't handing them lots of money to pay their bills and her dad told me he knew white people always had money, I just didn't want to share it with a black man. Her family was just crazy...

francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Staycation Posted: 8/9/2011 7:59:32 AM
So I have a 6 day vacation starting today. Decided to stay local and enjoy what the Cleveland area has to offer. Just doing some research alone has opened my eyes to things I never knew existed and gave me a heads up on future events. Only downside is most of my friends are still working so I'm going to be flying solo. But who knows what new friends I may make? Anyone else ever do a staycation? How did it turn out?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Replying to emails Posted: 8/8/2011 9:43:58 AM
This is a made up email. Stop making it personally about me. And I was ALSO asking as the sender. Who knew changing genders would confuse people so much...

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 11 (view)

Replying to emails Posted: 8/8/2011 9:20:42 AM
What I see here (if my assumption is true) is that HE kept the conversation open by asking about you. YOU killed it by only answering his question. You didn't ask about him...or ask about anything at all. This to me...and probably most guys...says you are not interested. This was just a generic example I made up while writing the question to keep it simple. The first person is the sender and the second person replied to the inital email. So in answering, pretend you are the sender.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 5 (view)

Replying to emails Posted: 8/8/2011 8:16:21 AM
I used to respond to every message I received but then I realized I'm better off not responding to people I'm not interested in. Some people can't take a hint or when you're honest they get offended and it just saves me from the drama. I used to do that but I personally like receiving a rejection rather than nothing at all. So now I just send a standard "Thanks for the email but I'm not interested" just to be polite. If someone tries to get me to explain why or keeps contacting me, then I'll ignore them. move on to someone who may NOT have the best pic and embellished profile.. They just may take more time to respond... I honestly don't email people that more than likely are getting a ton of emails a day. But I still only email men I actually find attractive and think we may have some things in common. I don't think I should have to scrape the bottom of the barrel just to get a conversation going... Athough I am kind of a believer in people being "out of your league", I was hoping I can do better than that.... Don't burst my bubble!!! Haha.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Replying to emails Posted: 8/8/2011 8:01:43 AM
I've been wondering... If you email someone, and reply back without anything to keep the conversation going, is that them just being polite? Example: "Hey, I read your profile and wanted to say hello. I see you're a dancer. What type? How long have you been doing it?" "Ballet. I started when I was in grade school." Should you write back and see if they're willing to talk or let it go? This happens to me sometimes. Most of the time I don't write back but when I do, I don't get a second reply or the conversation fades quickly. What would you do?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 16 (view)

What does favorite mean? Posted: 8/7/2011 9:48:10 PM
If she favorited you, it's a good sign to send an email. But it means different things to different people. The only person that has me as a favorite as a 50+ y/o man in Texas. I'm 23 in Ohio... I'm pretty sure he just likes looking at my photos...

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 12 (view)

Why not just move on? Posted: 8/7/2011 9:43:37 PM
I'm pretty sure "take the L" means taking the loss. I hope I'm wrong though because this is a sports reference and I'd be sad if only a female got it. LOL!

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 12 (view)

Black women and white men Posted: 8/7/2011 4:22:31 PM
WISER???? Are you serious? Than who? Wise than me... I can be pretty naive when it comes to dating and he had to set me straight on a few things. Most of the advice he had given me was good and heled keep me out of some bad situations. I tried to blow him off because I want to see the best in people. You must have searched far and wide to find same with this "friend" of yours. Yeah.... Now that you mention it, I have, and I've given him more slack than he deserved. I guess I used the term friend too loosely because I haven't talked to him since then either... I guess you have me reconsidering the source but it doesn't change the personal experiences I've been having. Turn the tables and tell them you've already had a white guy and crossed it off your list. Thank him anyway. Haha, I gotta try that. I told the guy today I'm not really looking for sex but try someone with her tits flapping out in the photos. He said "will do". LOL!!

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 25 (view)

Should people depend on the Instant click during a first meet? Posted: 8/7/2011 1:59:48 PM
Now, I am the type of person that likes to meet ASAP instead of exchanging tons of emails. So I use the first meet to determine if there's enough there to want to know more about the person. Yes, I'm also looking for physical attraction but mainly fun conversation and common ground. As I get to know the person, I will decided if I want to develop it into a more romatic and/or serious relationship.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Black women and white men Posted: 8/7/2011 1:34:22 PM
I'm not here to complain, I just want some honest answers. A couple months ago, an older and wiser guy friend of mine flat out told me the vast majority of white men will never date me seriously and are just looking to kill time and sleep with me because it's considered taboo. I tried to blow him off because I want to see the best in people. But looking back at previous experiences and men that approach me, it seems he is correct. I JUST got IMed from someone that asked me if I would be willing to hookup so he could experience a black woman. No joke. Anyone looking at my profile could see I'm not really selling sex but this is what I get all the time. So the reason I ask is because most of the men on these dating sites are white, which alone doesn't bother me. But if I'm not someone they would ever give a honest shot to, I don't want to waste my time. I know there is no universal law, I'm just looking for the "in general/most of the time" answer. So what's your take on this, from what you've heard from your friends, kids, yourself, etc.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 7 (view)

BF out of town to visit dying relative. Should I give him space? Posted: 8/6/2011 8:45:25 PM
I would just text your condolences (if she has died) and let him know you are here if he needs someone to talk. Leave it at that and let him approach you.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 14 (view)

What's a good introduction message to you? Posted: 8/6/2011 7:38:51 PM
Here's what NOT to do... I have a 200 charactor minimum for the first message. Not really a lot. Here's an email I received today. This loser couldn't even TRY to write a few sentences so I never even LOOKED at his profile. The message does matter... hey nice smile your very pretty.do you like white guys hope you do cas your sexy so hot me back bye 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111.ghuiwequiuiqhduiohuioqhddiohqiohdiohqwilhdhdjklhqwjklh When girls are used to getting emails like this, a nice little paragraph makes you look like Mr. Wonderful. So just keep it simple and to the point but make it interesting enough to keep the conversation going.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 7 (view)

Have you ever received hate mail because of a forum post? Posted: 8/6/2011 6:08:17 PM
I haven't received any mail based on forums but I'm not on here often. What are you saying to piss people off so bad?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 14 (view)

Profile review PLEASE!! Posted: 8/5/2011 9:44:00 PM
I guess you're not supposed to start a new thread so I'm reviving this one. I need help with PHOTOS!! I added two new ones today (in the multicolor dress). So my questions are... 1) Should I keep the one I'm currently using as my main? It's a good close up but I'm not really "smiling". This picture was mainly taken to show my friends my hair so that's why I didn't care about the smile but I thought it was nice anyways. If not that one, which one? 2) I have two photos with me in a beige dress. Those were my most current full body shots until now. Since I have the new ones, should I delete the ones in the beige dress. It seems redundant to me but I wanted other opinions. 3) Also thinking about deleting the one marked October 2010 but it's the only one that shows me with other people (although I cropped out faces)... LOL, I know that sounds wierd but I think people care about that stuff. I'm stuck on writing what I want in a man... I don't know how to express that part without making a list.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

Would you rather know the truth or not?? Posted: 8/4/2011 7:51:00 AM
Francine, if your bff is a guy you previously dated for 10 months, then you are not good relationship material (in my opinion). Many other men have said basically the same thing, right here in this thread. You have asked for advice, but you are NOT listening. My question was not about if I'm relationship material. It was about if I should tell the whole truth about my best friend. Those are two completely different sujects. Don't have sex with your friends and those hard to find friends won't be an issue. Life doesn't come in a neat box like that. We met online, he asked me out, we dated, and then became friends when we saw the chemistry wasn't meant to be romantic. Of course if I knew the dating part wasn't meant to be I would have never dated him but then again we would have never become friends either. YOU feel it is lame people would take a hike because you are not seeing the words you want to see. I am allowed to have an opinion. This is a discussion after all... Just like if you were with a man who went running to his Ex who is also his " best friend" about everything. I think this is un unfair assumption. Most people I know have multiple friends and they share certain things with certain people. I personally don't share too many details of any relationships with friends. Females or males may try to use it to thier advantage. And I have enough common sense to know it would be too weird to tell everything to someone I used to date, best friend or not. OT: there's no reason to tell a guy your life story. Just tell him the other guy is your bf. Then he can determin if that's boyfriend or best friend if he's still around- THAT IS THE VERY TOPIC I ASKED ABOUT!! So you think I should just say he's my friend and leave out the rest? How would you handle the situation when the truth came out (because it's probably will one way or another)? Now Abelien, I know how you feel so no need to answer this last part. Would time make this less of an issue? I mean, let's say five years down the road the ratio would be dated 10 months then friends for 6 years. Would the dating part still matter?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Would you rather know the truth or not?? Posted: 8/4/2011 6:07:28 AM
OK, so it seems universal that I should tell and I'm fine with that. Now, should I give the whole story or just the basics. In my mind, I'd rather just say "XYZ is my best friend. We met on a dating site back in 2009 and we dated for a while but eventually decided to just be friends. There was never any bad blood, we just want different things when it comes to life and relationships and there was no point in dating any longer. Neither of us want to be anything more than friends." Would that satisfy? BTW, I think it's pretty lame most people would take a hike on a girl that's friends with someone she used to date. Good friends are hard to find. Dates are a dime a dozen and I'd hate to give up a friend for some guy that I just met. Also, I would be more nervous about a guy being best friends with a girl he NEVER dated. There might be some unresolved sexual tension or whatever. To me, my situation is been there, done that, and I KNOW I don't want to go back.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

A lady's insight into this dilemma will be appreciated. Posted: 8/3/2011 10:37:54 PM
As her if she would feel comfortable calling you (that way she can block her number out if she's truly worried). After that you two should meet. After the initial meet, there is no difference in meeting someone on the internet or IRL. You go out and take time to get to know each other. Chatting online is just a waste of time. If she's not interested in moving it forward, cut contact.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

Would you rather know the truth or not?? Posted: 8/3/2011 10:30:40 PM
Unclezeus... No offense but I have noticed you seem very angry, bitter, or whatever it is. Either way you give people VERY terrible advice because you are either bored or sad about your own life. And for someone 53, 10 months may not be a lot. But for young people, it's significant enough to matter and regardless of age, 10 months is not someone you dated "once". I'm sorry if your love life is that slow but for the rest of us a lot can happen in that time.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Would you rather know the truth or not?? Posted: 8/3/2011 9:37:33 PM
I am sorry if this is a repost but I SWEAR I did a thread search.... Basically, my best friend is also an exboyfriend. First guy I was ever in a semi-serious relationship and we dated for about 9-10 months. We broke up a year ago and it's been strictly platonic ever since. He IS my best friend and nothing will change that. I grew up kinda hard and I know the value of a real friend and how rare that is to come by. So when it comes to dating and I get serious enough with someone (still waiting but a girl can dream), obviously my bestfriend/ex and new boyfriend will meet (be it my birthday or some other occasion where it would be reasonable to invite both). Should I tell my new flame that my best friend is technically an ex or just leave that part out? I'm not a fan of trying to hide things but I know sometimes it's just not worth it to tell the whole truth. And while we're on the topic, would you find it weird I'm still kinda close to his family? I only see them once a month or so but his mom will text me from time to time and the other night she had him bring me some leftovers cause I was at home studying all night (I'm sure he didn't think of it on his own). I'm still very welcome in his parent's home and since he has no interest in dating (that's a whole other thread topic), I'm kinda like his designated plus one. Would my relationship with the family be a red flag? Should I keep my lips tight about that or tell all?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

Is the first email that important? Posted: 7/27/2011 9:38:49 PM
Yeah, just show you read the profile and comment on something that interested you and can lead to a conversation. For example, I'm doing a beer tour thingy so people tend to ask me about that. A little wit helps but it's not a deal maker or breaker. The photos are important. If I think you're cute, your profile shows you can read and write like an adult, and you sent a halfway decent message, I'll write back,

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Is this still ok Posted: 7/26/2011 6:57:12 AM
If it's the first time you meet her, then no, don't bring anything. But after you go out and invite her on a REAL date, then one flower would be sweet! I don't think it'll create any expectations. But only do it if you're REALLY into this girl and want to see her more. I wouldn't do it with every chick.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 18 (view)

Not sure what I'm doing wrong...? Posted: 7/25/2011 12:33:12 PM
I can see why the ex might be mentioned... You have kids with him. They just want to know there won't be any drama. Keep the answer short and sweet but tell the truth.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 5 (view)

Would you do it? Posted: 7/25/2011 12:24:56 PM
VERY CREEPY!! I will look to see what I can find on the internet - Facebook, Myspace, Criminal Records, etc. All that is public knowledge. But I wouldn't try to find him in real life. Even if he told me where they worked, I wouldn't show up unless it's like a local grocery store I just happened to go to anyways. And if I saw him working, I would pretend I didn't see him unless he approached me.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

Need a guy's view on this Posted: 7/25/2011 8:07:41 AM
Wedding is in our city. Also, I already said I will ONLY know the bride. I know that for a fact because we are former coworkers and have no mutal friends.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 4 (view)

Need a guy's view on this Posted: 7/25/2011 8:01:45 AM
Actually, I went to a wedding alone in March with that idea. NOT ONE young man without a date. It happens...

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

Need a guy's view on this Posted: 7/25/2011 7:25:39 AM
I just started dating a new guy. We've only hung out 3 times so far. A friend of mine is getting married next Friday and told me I should invite him because I was going alone. I will LITERALLY only know the bride so I wouldn't mind some company. So at least there won't be the pressure or expectations people might have if it were tons of my family or friends there. On one hand I feel like who doesn't like free food, open bar, and dancing? And I see people all the time looking for "dates" to wedding so they don't really know the person too well. But on the other hand I personally thought it was too soon and wouldn't have thought to invite him if my friend hadn't said anything. Worst part is he's out of town from now until a day or two before the wedding so it's not like we could squeeze in a couple more dates. I guess at the end of the day I would rather him come than go alone because I figured it would be fun to just hangout and dance for a few hours. But I don't want screw things up. As a guy (hopefully in his 20's but all opinions are appreciated) how do you feel about this?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 1 (view)

From your experience.... Posted: 7/11/2011 8:53:10 AM
I have noticed many profiles these days are VERY demanding and kinda give a the impression that the girl has to be pretty f-ing awesome or she's not worth the time of day. Some more or less include lists of requirements. It reminds of me of how demanding these job posting are now-a-days because so many people are hungry for work. The "you need me more than I need you" deal. Is that what's in these days? Do women also do this? I just wonder because I thought profiles were supposed to be semi-humble because you're selling yourself. But I could be wrong and am starting to wonder if not doing that makes you look desperate or soemthing. What have other people noticed?

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile review needed, thanks in advance =D Posted: 7/11/2011 8:33:48 AM
I didn't read though your profile (A bit long) but I IMMEDIATELY noticed your pictures all look so different. Amazing how much a hairstyle can change things, isn't it? Try just posting the ones that look like you now.

Francine1988

Joined: 8/24/2010

Msg: 2 (view)

review please Posted: 7/11/2011 8:22:05 AM
Maybe add a couple more pictures, at least one that shows your full body. And I don't think you're UGLY so don't beat yourself up. It's really hard to know what people are looking for but all you can do is be yourself. I personally only get an email every week or two. Also, a few spots need some proof reading, like capitalizing the first letter of a sentence.

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