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bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

Do you have to show some skin before you get a response Posted: 7/10/2005 8:51:41 PM
Do you think men or women who show some skin will get more responses Yes, I think they do. I'm just as bad as the next guy for it... I'm a real sucker for a pretty face, or nicely shaped body parts. So when I'm browsing through searches or forums, I'll tend to take a look at profiles that look like they have a nice picture. A closeup of a really pretty face, or a shapely figure in a nice dress are the most common pictures that will draw me in, but a nice pose in a two piece will certainly do it also! Then, while I'm there I'll usually scan the profile and decide from there. But it's often the picture that draws me in. do you think a woman can be sexy without showing anything Yes! As a general rule, it's much sexier to give hints at what might be there rather than just show it. For example, lingerie is sexier than nudity, and a nice dress that showcases a girl's figure can really make a guy drool. :) On a more personal note, if you think you need a better picture to get more responses but you don't want to run a mini-porn site off of POF, then I'd recommend taking a picture with more detail. Looking at your picture it's hard to see anything about you other than your general body type, your skin colour and your hair colour... you might have a pretty face but it's hard to tell. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

need r help an advice Posted: 7/1/2005 12:04:53 AM
For the record, it looks like the age of consent for sex in England (where romantic is from) is 16. So yeah, definitely avoid any activities which would could be described as 'sex'. I haven't looked up specific laws about abduction in England, but I suspect that if the parents wanted to they could at least get you locked up temporarily for picking her up and helping her to run away. How's your relationship with the parents? Do you think if you called them up and talked to them about the situation that they might voluntarily let her go stay with you for a while? (Seems like a long shot, but I thought I'd ask.) Montreal Guy: Judging from your posts in this thread, I think you might be surprised to learn that the age of consent is 14 in Canada. Most places are somewhere between 16 and 18, but it varies from country to country (or state to state in the US). I don't really have a point, I just thought you might like to know for future reference when the topic comes up. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

i could use some help Posted: 6/30/2005 11:41:12 PM
Even if can't bring yourself to flat out ask her out, I recommend you make sure you show interest in more than just friendship somehow. Smile at her a lot, compliment her occasionally on something (but be honest!), make a point of trying to spend time with her. Fortunately although this sort of thing can easily go over a guy's heads, I'm told that women tend to pick up on this stuff a lot better. The reason I suggest doing this is you want to avoid the deadly "friend zone", where the girl gets used to seeing you as a friend. Many people have a lot of trouble making the transition from friend to more... so you want to establish yourself early as at least a "maybe more". Also, it gives you a chance to try and read similar green-light signals from the girl... it's a lot easier to ask a girl out if you already know the answer is going to be yes. Unfortunately since you're a guy you probably will have trouble spotting them. Maybe bring along an independant observer? :) It's a lot easier to spot interest when you're not the target. (I'm not sure why.) I'm not sure if you have a better chance of a yes if you just come out and ask her out, or if you spend time just "hanging out" with her before you ask her out on an official date. Maybe someone else could comment on that? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

dealing with the loss of a girlfriend that you love deeply Posted: 6/30/2005 11:09:20 PM
I haven't been through what you're describing, but I think I understand what you're going through. It'll take a (long!) while before you feel ok again. Eventually you'll reach the point where you start feeling ok from time to time, and stop thinking about her more than once or twice a day. As for the fear of being alone... I hear you. All I can say about that is socializing helps... preferably with girls you'd be interested in dating if given the chance. It helps to keep the self esteem up. I'd say when you feel ready to innocently (or not so innocently) chat with them, try fishing for people to talk to here on POF. Now, that said, are you sure you have no way of contacting her? Have you tried looking her number up in Calgary? Does she have an email address that she might still check? Know any relatives of hers? Even if you just know last names, you can cold-call people from the phone book (if there aren't too many) and politely ask if they're a relative of your friend and then ask for their help if they say yes. Maybe they could pass a message along for you, or give you the number of a relative that's closer to her. Some might call doing that sort of thing stalker-ish, but I'd say "being a stalker" is all about motives. If you get ahold of her, plead your case, and she still tells you to get lost... well, you don't have much say in it. Ultimately it's her decision, and persistance beyond that point would label you in my mind as a stalker... but not before. Well, good luck. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

responding to mails with # in subject Posted: 6/29/2005 8:22:24 AM
There appears to be a glitch when I reply to a mail with a # in the subject line. Normally it quotes the mail that you're responding to in the page where you compose your reply (good feature, btw... well thought out). When I'm responding to a mail with a # in the subject, it shows the profile description instead. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

An irrelevant question. Posted: 6/28/2005 11:11:43 AM
Ok, so it's really not important, but I noticed that there seems to be some sort of interesting naming scheme going on with the images. Generally the images will be named city_descriptor_number, but the descriptor changes. I've seen matchmaking, sex, personals, singles, dating... there's probably more. The descriptor seems to be the same for the same person, but I haven't noticed a trend yet in cities (I checked, Toronto has a number of people with different descriptors), or in what they're "looking for". So, would someone please satisfy my curiousity, and tell me what's going on with these image names? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

monitor problems Posted: 6/28/2005 10:52:47 AM
Look for some sort of display on the monitor's menus which extends into the area that's turning green. If the menu looks greenish also, then you can rule out the video card. (The video card is not likely to be the culprit here, actually.) If it was a magnet that caused the problem, there's a good chance it won't go away by itself. Uh, you can actually fix this problem (if it was magnetism)... but it's a bit tricky and I wouldn't recommend it to a novice. What I've done in the past is to take another magnet and sort of stroke the monitor with the magnetic field and watch how it changes the colours. Then use that information to change the colours back to what they should be. Kinda scary, eh? Like I said, not for the faint of heart. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Request to Admin and Webmaster Posted: 6/28/2005 10:46:19 AM
What about putting a notice up in the mail/profile section when you log in? Just something that says that there have been followups to a thread since you last logged onto the forums? Well, just a thought. - Brent

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

h/w or s/w problem how to identify???? Posted: 6/28/2005 10:01:02 AM
Telling whether something is a hardware or a software problem can often be tricky, but in your case I would definitely say hardware. It may have software problems as well, since they often occur when you have hardware problems, but I think the origin of the problems is hardware. Anyhow, I think the real clue is that you say the system hangs when you enter the BIOS. This tells me that it's a hardware problem in your motherboard, or one of the pieces of hardware connected to it, because the only software that's been loaded at that point is your BIOS, and that's pretty stable stuff (and in general you won't get anything when it gets mucked up somehow). Re-flashing your BIOS might help... but frankly it's a bit of a long-shot. Course it can't really hurt to try. One of the first steps to diagnosing the problem is to figure out how to reliably recreate the crash (or at least what causes it to crash the most often). After you do that, take out everything you can from the motherboard (cards, peripherals, hard drives) and see if it still crashes. If it doesn't crash, start adding components back in until it does. If it did crash, then you have to start swapping components out for known good components... video cards, RAM, CPU, and the like. Basically you have to isolate the problem, but remember that it could be a combination of components that's the problem, also. Sometimes when a component goes bad it stops playing nice with other components and causes them to fail in odd ways. If you can't get the problem down to something that plugs into the motherboard, then it's likely a chip on the motherboard itself that went bad, and so you'd need to replace the motherboard. Btw, what probably happened was the lizard crawled into your power supply and caused a short (which killed it), and the short hit the motherboard with a power spike which caused some component (most likely on the motherboard itself) to become unstable. So what's the most likely thing? You probably need a new motherboard. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

Salary Posted: 6/28/2005 9:20:50 AM
mitgrad00 said: And men find heathy looking young women attractive. That means she is fertile. LOL Just kidding. You think you're joking, but you're not. Biologically speaking we instinctively look for a several things: health, social standing, and signs of sexual maturity. Health and signs of sexual maturity are pretty obvious... social standing often comes in the form of money in today's society. (I'm sure there are other things that people are programmed biologically to look for, but these were the ones that came to mind when I read your comment.) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Does Admin check mail? Posted: 6/27/2005 6:59:00 PM
I sent Admin a mail about 3 weeks ago, and it's still sitting in my sent folder as unread. I wouldn't say that email was important, but for the future should I be sending mail elsewhere? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

what turns guys off on a woman's appearance? Posted: 6/17/2005 2:05:07 AM
Well, it's easier for me to talk about what I find attractive in a girl because my turnoffs tend to be very mild and easily overridden by my turnons. But ok. A little chunky isn't a turnoff for me, no. A lot chunky is, though. I've learned that on dating sites most people in the 'a few extra pounds' category are overweight. Partly I don't like it because I don't like the appearance, partly I don't like it because it's not very healthy to be too overweight, and partly because I'm not a really big guy... and it's nice to have a girlfriend that can fit in your lap. Really the point where it starts becoming a turnoff for me is where it looks to me like it starts to become iffy health-wise. I suppose to be fair though I should mention that one of my turn-ons is petite women... my last girlfriend tipped the scales at around 100lbs, and I thought she was insanely attractive. I don't think I've ever dated anyone more than 20-30lbs more than the top end of their "ideal weight range", but I also haven't dated that many people. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

suggetion: religion searches Posted: 5/31/2005 12:15:55 AM
I'm not sure why this isn't already in, but I suggest adding a religion field to the searches. Some people will only accept people with the same or similar religion. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 18 (view)

WHY???!!!!! Posted: 12/27/2004 12:16:50 AM
Giggleparts: You hitting on me, big boy? ;) Sweet: Hmm. How to convince you that you're lying to yourself right now when you claim to be ugly? Maybe I should try to get into your pants... maybe that would convince you? I guess it's possible too, since I'm in Arizona right now. ;) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

WHY???!!!!! Posted: 12/27/2004 12:03:17 AM
How am I being foolish? I amonly realizing the truth! But it's not the truth, and I'm pretty sure plenty of people will post and back me up on this. Let me put it this way. Do you think I'm ugly? I'm not. Despite the fact that probably only 1 in 20 or 30 women would find me attractive, I wouldn't say I'm ugly. Why? Well, partly because of my appearance... a lot of people dislike long hair on guys or facial hair. But more importantly, since I'm average looking I'll only appeal to people who happen to like my particular appearance. Sure, if I looked more like Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp, heads would turn all the time because they happen to appeal to a lot of women. But I don't, so I have to work with what I have. So where am I going with this? Well, basically what I'm saying is just because a lot of people don't care for your appearance, doesn't make you ugly. Even if you're one of the people who doesn't care for your appearance. :P - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

WHY???!!!!! Posted: 12/26/2004 11:31:43 PM
First off, I'd like to establish that I have no ulterior motives here. Although I've mailed you a few times, you're too far away from where I live to the sort of relationship I'm interested in. So I'm not just saying this to get into your pants. :) Now as to why we won't agree with you, it's because it's bull. You do have pictures posted you know, and we can judge for ourselves. :P Perhaps you have self esteem issues that prevent you from realizing that you're attractive, but that's not going to stop me from telling you that I think you're pretty. Now, that's not to say that I think you have a career ahead of you as a model or anything, but ugly? Seriously, stop being foolish. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

New Opportunity Posted: 12/26/2004 12:12:57 AM
Here, maybe thinking about some questions will help you make up your mind: Do you want to go? Do you think your friend wants you to stay with her, or do you think she's just being polite? Can you afford to help out with rent or expenses while you're there? Offhand, I'd say go. You'll be better for the experience. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

I swear men are a puzzle... Posted: 12/25/2004 11:52:07 PM
I'm just guessing, but it sounds to me like he was the one who needed attention. A lot of people get depressed over the holidays for whatever reason, and he probably called you because of it. Of course, why didn't he want to hang out with you? Well, sometimes things don't make much sense. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Posing naked? Posted: 12/2/2004 7:01:32 AM
If my girlfriend (assuming I had one) wanted to pose nude, I'd think that was awesome as long as I thought the artist was any good... and as long as I got to see it. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 22 (view)

Public schools, a bad investment Posted: 12/2/2004 3:13:35 AM
Watchman says: I agree it must be the system. If you can get a better education for 75% less money then it really isn't about the amount of money being spent. Something is whacked out big time with the system itself and throwing even more money at it will not fix the problem. Get the Government out of the equation and that would probably help a lot... Why do you assume that it's the fault of the people running the schools? First off, I should point out that in general I think there could be big improvements made in how schools are run in general, but I think part of the problem is that you're not really comparing apples to apples here. The public school has to accept pretty much anyone, whereas private schools only need to accept who they want to accept. I would say that overall, the parents of students in private schools are more involved in the schooling of their kids, because they cared enough about their education to send them to private school. The kid of a parent who is more interested in their kid's education will have kids who are (overall) better behaved and more focussed on learning. This alone will account for part of the difference in success that the private schools will have. Then add the fact that you've eliminated a large percentage of the destructive kids (because you can refuse them, and in general they won't be applying anyhow), and you have a MUCH better learning environment. There's also going to be a large number of people who, after realizing they have a smart kid, figure they should maximize their kid's education so that the intelligence doesn't go to waste. Also, the teachers will be better. Not because they're higher quality (though they might be), but because they're happier. Their audience is a lot more receptive, and teachers (in general) want to teach kids that are interested (or at least willing) to learn. So their teaching experience will be better, and thus they will be happier, and be more interested in teaching. So they'll be a better teacher because of it. So, you have parents who want a good education sending their kids to private school, fewer kids who are violent or otherwise bad for the learning environment going there, with the smarter kids going there, being taught by happier and more effective teachers. What about this situation makes you think that a public school will do anywhere near as well as a private school run with the same compentence and money? The fact is that our education system isn't very good because it's designed wrong. Yeah, you can get a good education, but that's the exception not the rule. Most people merely survive high school, not make the most of it. I read a pretty good essay that touched on this a little while ago, if you're interested I strongly recommend it: http://store.yahoo.com/paulgraham/nerds.html I wouldn't say I necessarily agree with everything he says, but it's definitely food for thought. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

why does he do this too me Posted: 11/30/2004 3:15:09 AM
Yeah, doesn't sound like he's going to put the past behind him by himself then. Hmm. If he won't talk to you, I don't suppose he'd be willing to talk to a shrink? (Doubtfull, but at this point it sounds like it couldn't hurt to ask.) Well, it sounds like you should tell him that you need to move on if he doesn't start treating you better. That he needs to let go of his pain, because it's killing your relationship with him. If he promises to do better, I'd say give him a chance to improve... or if you can't handle that, tell him that you think he needs some time apart to straighten himself out. Bottom line: things will have to change, one way or another. The end result has to be that he treats you the way he should, or he's gone. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

why does he do this too me Posted: 11/29/2004 5:20:56 PM
How long have you been together? If it's been less than a year, it might be that he just needs some time and patience to get over whatever happened... and to trust that something similar won't happen with you. If you've been together for longer than that, then maybe he needs to get over his past before he can be in a relationship. Disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm talking about. :) - Brent

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

why does he do this too me Posted: 11/29/2004 4:50:27 PM
Have you talked to him about it? And in what ways is he being unfair? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

picking up girls in the street Posted: 11/28/2004 10:03:37 AM
lol, techtroid! - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

should i take her back? Posted: 11/28/2004 3:54:25 AM
I think I'm with MidnightChild on this one. I don't necessarily believe in second chances, but if she's willing to rebuild the trust then I think you should give her another chance. Rebuilding that trust is a pretty serious thing though... you have to make it clear that if she ever cheats on you again she's done. Completely. It won't be easy for you, also... you would have to avoid bringing up the fact that she cheated on you, even when you're angry with her over something else. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Should I say anything Posted: 11/28/2004 3:41:42 AM
Ouch, rough question. Ok, I'l be this hypothetical person and try and answer your question. :) (Note to anyone not clear on this: I have no ex-wife.) Would I? Probably, if that's what I thought of her. Should I? I'm not so sure. I mean, there's the possibility that once she's away from me that she'll break that cycle and become a better person with another guy. Then there's the thought that now that we're not together we should avoid the appearance of following eachother around and badmouthing eachother. Then there's also the thought that she might not really be like that... that she just seemed like that to me because I was too close (emotionally) to see things properly. It probably depends on the details also. Like why you call her money hungry and so forth. Not an easy question... bit of a moral grey area I think. You have to decide how much of wanting to post about her is revenge for what she did to you and discount that... then try and figure out whether you are really doing people a service by warning people about her. Then weigh that against her privacy. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

My midnight inspiration Posted: 11/28/2004 2:46:31 AM
Well, if you want more then one of you would have to move to the other's area. This is why a lot of people aren't willing to do long-distance relationships... they want to be with the person physically (I mean so they can hang out or date or whatever... not just sex), but that's not really possible if you live too far away. That's why I've haven't been messaging girls who are more than an hour or two of travel away. I have met someone from another country... a while ago, I went into the US to meet a girl. That's why I said if you do decide to meet, make sure it's not for too long. I went for 10 days, and about 5 days in things started falling apart... like I said, too much spending time with eachother too soon. Then the last 5 days were rather unpleasant because there was nothing to do and I didn't know anybody. Of course, if things fall apart for you two, maybe there is more to do around where you guys live than where she lived. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

My midnight inspiration Posted: 11/27/2004 5:17:10 AM
If you ask him, and he can afford it, he'll probably be happy to make a visit to you his next vacation. Just a small bit of advice though... don't make the first visit too long. Too much too soon can be bad. I guess the real question is are you willing to do a long distance relationship? And if so, for how long? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 41 (view)

Would Age Defference Bother You? Posted: 11/27/2004 3:39:51 AM
blue_sky83 says: bio, age of consent is 14 ONLY if both parties are under 18 This is a common misconception. People are always so surprised when I tell them the actual law. This is why I think people should actually go look up the law occasionally and not take people's word for it. Take a look at: http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/c-46/42053.html The gist of it is that unless you are in a position of authority over them, the age of consent is 14. There are more rules in there to handle 12 and 13 year-olds, which basically amount to if they're at least 12 and they're within 2 years, you're fine. Here's the text of the actual offense: 151. Every person who, for a sexual purpose, touches, directly or indirectly, with a part of the body or with an object, any part of the body of a person under the age of fourteen years is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction. That's not the only one in there of course. There's stuff for child prostitution and so forth, but that's the main one. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/27/2004 1:39:38 AM
Thanks for the response, peachpuff. :) It's true, perhaps these girls are wonderfully expressive in person or perhaps they're just not very talkative. However, that doesn't really help me much, since until we meet in person (or on the phone) this is the only form of communication we have. And what sometimes what I've been calling 'one-liners' are actually more than one line (though to be honest, not very often), but more to the point it's that they do nothing but answer direct questions that has been getting to me. No asking me the same question back, no comments on the weather, no chit-chat about their day. By the way, where do you work? :P :) I have 3 jobs, actually. I program for a non-profit company, am a partner in a small software company, and do freelance programming. It's all part-time though, so I'm not as busy as it sounds. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/26/2004 10:16:24 PM
notacubiczirconia says: I even had one guy do me "read/deleted," without even giving me the courtesy of a "no thanks." Well, I get that all the time. When I first showed up I would say about 9/10ths of my first contact mails ended up either read/deleted or unread/deleted with no response. Now I'd say only about 1/2 to 2/3rds of my mail ends up that way... so I must be doing something better now. :) Lucky he doesn't have a rating system on his profile. I turned rating my picture off. People are mean! I think the highest I got was a couple of 4s. I think it's probably because a lot of people don't like long hair on guys, but it's also not the best picture of me (though it's not an awful one either). When a guy responds to me, I like him to just be himself. Would you say you're typical about that? I've been wondering about things like including jokes, compliments, whether I should try describing myself, and so forth. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/26/2004 9:44:21 PM
notacubiczirconia says: Do you want me to go beat her up for you, bio? A-Hahahaa Do you offer bulk rates for that service? ;) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/26/2004 9:42:47 PM
ltlwhip: I agree that if I've been sent a thoughtful message that it deserves a thoughtful response, though that's not quite what I was talking about. I've gotten thoughtful responses from a number of people I've sent mail to, but my problem is that although I think I'm showing interest in them by asking questions, or talking about who I am, or making small-talk, but in general I've only gotten responses to direct questions. Mind you, I've almost always included at least one direct question in every mail... I figured that that would make it easier for them to respond. You know, start by answering the question, then ask a question yourself or wander to another (probably related) topic. Maybe this is a bad approach? What sort of mail gets you interested and makes you want to respond? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/26/2004 8:50:04 PM
notacubiczirconia says: The one who gives you short answers...if you are interested, why not ask her flat out if she is interested in you? You will at least find out if she is or just wants to be friends. Both are cool, hope it works out. :) Oh, I'm pretty sure she's not interested. After waiting 6 days for a response to the last real email I had sent her, I sent her a very quick "Hi again. How've you been?" message. Basically, I figured if she were interested she would say something like "Pretty good. Sorry I didn't get back to your last email, I'll try and answer it as soon as I have time." or a real answer to my last email. What I actually got was "Crazy busy, you?" (complete text of the message). So at this point I was quite sure she wasn't interested, but I felt obliged to send one last email. Basically I said I'd been spending time with family who was down for a visit, then asked how her kids were doing. The response: "Boys are good thanks" (again, complete text). So no, I'm not mailing her again. Maybe if she mailed me and showed some vague amount of interest, but certainly not before that happened. Thanks for the input, though. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

lotta source... added a couple of line breaks so I could paste Posted: 11/26/2004 8:32:33 PM
Not all of them, no. The ones I'm talking about are relative. The first one that I see is: <b>Today @ 2:51 AM</b><br>by </span><a class="linkSmall" href="sabberwolf2003.aspx">sabberwolf2003</a> - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 33 (view)

Would Age Defference Bother You? Posted: 11/26/2004 2:43:26 AM
blue_sky83 says: first of all its against the law It depends on where you are, blue. For example, where you live it's quite legal (age of consent for male/female or female/female sex is 14 here in Canada). Where she lives it's illegal (18 there). To quickly find what your local laws are, try look at: http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm If you are seriously considering a sexual relationship with a minor though, I strongly encourage you to actually read your local laws. Just so you're clear on what you can and can't do. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/25/2004 10:19:14 PM
Hmm, I hadn't really thought about the work question that way. I guess it does sound like someone "looking for someone successfull". Which I guess is not so bad, but if I wanted a wife that wants me for my money (assuming that I have enough money for that to be incentive), I think I'd probably go do the mail-order bride thing instead. I mean, why not pick someone whose motives aren't greed, just to get out of a bad situation? Of course, we could just be reading too much into that. Who knows? As for the "what's up?", I wouldn't have minded a bit of small talk. My problem was that all she was doing was giving short one-line answers to my questions (which were an attempt to start a real conversation), which is what the bulk of my in-box is filled with (some from her, some from others). Btw, I'll probably regret asking, but I have no idea what 'a/sl?' means. Mind telling me? ;) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

'Last Post' links in 'MyForum' page Posted: 11/25/2004 7:48:20 PM
Just to clarify (since nobody's followed up on this), go to 'MyForum', then try any of the links to the right under the heading 'Last Post'. They don't work, and look to be missing 'user/' in the url before the user name. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Question?????HUH??? Posted: 11/25/2004 6:41:02 PM
It sounds to me like the guy is really into her, but is afraid of committing. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to define what was going on, and ended up ruining it. I think you don't want to ask those sorts of questions until the answer is already clear to both of you... and maybe wait for a while after that. In any case to answer your question, it sounds like they have started a relationship but he doesn't want to take that emotional step which will mean it hurts more if it doesn't work out. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

preview button for posts & messages Posted: 11/24/2004 9:26:31 PM
Occasionally I do a little formatting, and would like to make sure I didn't typo. A 'preview' button would be handy for this. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

WHAT DO HOOKERS IN AMSTERDAM douche w/ to make their pieces smell like strawberries?? Posted: 11/24/2004 9:24:35 PM
excalibur says: ok....never go down on a hooker....just the thought of that is nasty...who knows what's been there....d*mn.... lol! I think it's pretty obvious what's been down there! ;) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

Would Age Defference Bother You? Posted: 11/24/2004 8:46:40 PM
sweet_child says: What have you been drinking to say that I'm pretty? Must be something strong... Laugh, I'm not sure which girl you are in your picture, but it doesn't really matter. :P Both you and your friend are very attractive. Admit it! :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

short responses Posted: 11/24/2004 8:14:58 PM
Ok, so I've messaged a good number of girls here on POF, and some have responded. While that's a start, so far their responses haven't exactly inspired me. The problem is that one of the biggest things that I find attractive in a girl is interest in me. I don't mean I want to talk about myself all the time, what I mean is I want a girl to want to be with me... not just tolerate my presence. But I've noticed a strong trend for girls here to answer questions with one-line responses, and never ask any questions themselves. So eventually I get tired of trying to start a real conversation, and don't respond to their last one-liner. And if you think I'm exagerating, I looked through the 25 or so messages left in my inbox and found exactly two questions. One was basically "what's up?" and the other was "where do you work?" (And I didn't get a response from the girl who asked the work question.) So here are my (leading) questions: Is this normal? Do you women out there send mails like this to guys you're interested in? Should I be persisting with these girls, despite how discouraging their responses seem? - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

WHAT DO HOOKERS IN AMSTERDAM douche w/ to make their pieces smell like strawberries?? Posted: 11/24/2004 7:46:29 PM
Two questions... 1) Pieces? 2) Why never go down or kiss a hooker? ahem I'd be happy to give you a refresher course on human anatomy. Watch out though, the oral exams can be tough. ;) As for the second, I would imagine he's talking about diseases. Though off hand I can't think of anything nasty that you can get from kissing. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

'Last Post' links in 'MyForum' page Posted: 11/24/2004 2:04:49 PM
It looks like they're missing the user directory in the url. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

IT'S A POLL! 'How do you want a girl to tell you she's not interested in you, POF stylef??? Posted: 11/24/2004 1:13:28 PM
what do you prefer they say? Hey.. thanks for writing.. but you're not really what I'm looking for?.. that seems kind of harsh.. I might be in the minority, but yes I would prefer a message like that. I got one today in fact, and I was pretty happy to get it. Let me illustrate. :) Let's say you walk up to someone and ask them out. Would you prefer that they just turn around and walk away without a word, or would you prefer that they smile and say something like "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm your type."? It's not as bad as in real life, it's true, but it's basically the same thing. Let me put it another way: rejection pretty much always hurts. It's the job of the person doing the rejecting to try and soften the blow as much as possible while still being clear that you're saying no. And it's the job of the person getting rejected to try and act like it didn't hurt (to save the feelings of the person they asked out). I understand and sympathize with women who've met freaks that won't leave them alone, but just because they're anti-social doesn't mean you should be anti-social also. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Guys Posted: 11/22/2004 10:58:06 PM
Honestly, between the two I'd have to go with butt. That said, I'm not very picky about them. :) - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

a 'you have messaged them' flag Posted: 11/22/2004 10:18:19 PM
First off, I'd just like to say kudos on the forum search, and on the new 'last 10 people near you' bar. I find myself glancing at the last-10 bar a lot, and at least reading the profiles, when I'm not actively searching. So, my idea: I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but I occasionally find myself wondering whether I've messaged a person before. I have a pretty blah memory and after a few months have passed I can easily forget if I messaged someone or if I had just considered messaging them. I normally look in my message history to figure it out if I can't remember, but I've had messages people had deleted get cleared out at least once and that's starting to get more unwieldy anyhow. So anyhow, I was thinking if there were a little checkmark beside someone's name (or some other indicator) that told me that I had messaged a person in the past, it would help me when I do searches. - bio

bio

Joined: 10/7/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Dating Interests Posted: 11/22/2004 11:44:01 AM
I suggest changing the title 'Dating Interests' in the profile to 'Interests' when viewing the profile. When you edit the profile, it says 'Interests' so when people fill that out, they tend to fill in what they're interested in, rather than what they would like to do on dates. - bio

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