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 Author Thread: What should i do?
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What should i do?
Posted: 11/18/2009 4:41:09 PM

so i have be with my gf for just a tad over 2 years and i find myself rather interested in another girl. Now i live with my current gf and dont really have a whole lot of feeling left the only thing that is stopping me from going is that we have a lease on an apartment that isnt up for another 6 months. She is a student so i cant leave her with the apartment and i cant afford it at the current time. any advice would be great thankyou.


When the pain of where you're at is greater then the fear of where you're going, you'll move.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
what is the reason for ...
Posted: 11/18/2009 4:36:29 PM

a man i am getting acquainted with online to tell me about his masturbation frequency ... is this an invitation or him just letting me know he can take care of himself on his own? thanks for any insight you might be willing to share ... :)


Although he probably is a prevert, it is possible that he was just trying to relieve some boredom by throwing something shocking out there. I know that I do that once in a while, though not to the degree of telling someone how often I masturbate. That is probably going a little to far to relieve boredom. I have received messages from women whose profile page is half filled with sexually suggestive pictures, and the other half is filled with "if you are looking for sex, don't bother messaging me back". I will send something shocking back every time. I know that this doesn't apply to you, and am only suggesting that some people say shocking things for reasons other then they are perverted.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
2nd chance... yes or no
Posted: 11/18/2009 3:56:37 PM

The relationship I just ended was a year long relationship, I was deeply in love with this man until we had a falling out over money of course.
He had decided to go drinking with friends & not come home with rent money.


If you ended a relationship, and label it as being "sabotaged" because your man went out, one time, with his friends and used the rent money to drink with his friends, then I am going to suggest that there was probably some deeper problems in the relationship that you have not told us about. If this is the only problem that occurred in the relationship, then I am going to guess that there really wasn't much of a relationship anyway. If you ended a relationship based on what you have told us here then , in my opinion, it is him that should be enjoying his independence.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
sexual issues with single mother of 15 year old
Posted: 11/18/2009 3:34:40 PM

Give the kid $20 to go get some ice cream for 15 minutes. That should do the trick. Work your magic and then boom! You can be on the couch with remote in hand licking ice cream with your live-in c*ck-block.


Of all the replies that I have ever read on POF this one has to be the greatest of all. I could write a whole Psychology theme on just the "15 minutes" alone. I'm not sure how much magic the OP can perform in 15 minutes. H E L L it would take me 15 minutes just to eat the ice creme. And what the heck is****block? I have never heard of this term.
OP maybe you are having some internal issues with the 15 year old that you are not dealing with. Moving someone in to see how things work is stressful enough. Add a 15 year old to the equation, and the stress level goes up dramatically.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
help me
Posted: 11/18/2009 7:46:27 AM
I'm not that great at giving profile reviews, but I will try. This is nothing person, and is only my opinion.
Starting with your profile in general. When I finished reading it I noted that there was nothing there that really grabbed my attention. To me, it read like a 1000 other profiles that I have read on here. There has to be something that makes you unique. Something that says "I really want to get to know this person".
I also noted that you looking for "dating", however as I read your profile it is apparent that you are looking for much more then that.

Looking for my Best Friend... I seek a man to be my best friend, my partner in life, a passionate lover... someone to sleep close with me until my dying breath..

I'm sure that "dating" is your short term goal, and finding a husband is a long term goal, but a lot of men are not going to see it this way. I read a Forum Post where a woman stated that 80% of men on here are only looking for sex. I replied that most men believe that 80% of the women on here are only looking for a husband. We both included the little tricks that each gender uses in order to get what they want. I think a lot of the problem is that neither understand what the other wants. Sex is as important to men as holding hands are as important to women, but neither seem to be able to understand that.
Your pictures are fine, and personally I love your smile, but again they are not much different than 1000 other pictures that I have seen on here.
There really is no magic cure to fix a profile in order to get someone to notice. I firmly believe that the first thing everyone is drawn to are the pictures. If they are ordinary then you are only going to interest "the ordinary".
Sorry I didn't mean to make this so long....
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
why do men assume you want to talk sex ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 5:02:58 AM

t's not that men assume you want to talk about sex. It is what I believe 80% of the men on this site are looking for so you just keep coming across them. Their agenda is to get laid or get their kicks and they use the normal nice guy conversation at the beginning to get a woman interested in them.


You say this as if sex were a bad thing, or something that it has to be earned. I think that this relates to the stigma that is placed on women who who have sex "to soon". Men come on here and us the "normal nice guy conversation", as you put it, because that is the only way that they can get their foot in the door. They adapt their behavior based on what works in order to get their needs met. Woman have a similar stigma. Most men think that 80% of the women on here are looking for a husband, so they can stay at home, eat honey buns all day, and watch soap operas. They adapt their behavior based on what works i order to get their needs met. That is why you see a lot of women who post a profile full of sexually suggestive pictures, and then are offended if the man is interested in sex. Who makes the determination of who is right and who is wrong. (My experience is that the woman usually make that final determination)
Somewhere there has to be a middle ground. A common theme that will allow both to get their needs met.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Jilted lover
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:55:11 AM

Never got jilted, but I do have an ex-husband I tried to "work on"for years, with no success.


Sorry! I know that this post isn't about you, but I can't help myself. I just love it when someone on here let statements like this slip out. "worked on for years, with no success". If more of us on here would put that effort in working on ourselves ,then most of us probably wouldn't have to be on here looking for that "special person".
As for the Op. Maybe you are confusing making a person better with changing a person to meet your needs. One is an healthy unselfish goal that we should all try to achieve with every person that comes into our lives. The other is the selfish reason that keeps most of us single and looking.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Advise From A Retired Man
Posted: 9/10/2009 11:45:16 AM
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out again at night is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do I stand a chance?
Posted: 9/10/2009 3:23:03 AM
We went back to his and just chatted until early hours of the morning but nothing else happened.
Next day he was texting me constantly and we went out again. But the problem was he kept going on and on and on about me staying at his house, but I didn't want to - I wanted to take things slow, but he kept on and on and in the end I agreed. He said if you stay, I promise I will keep my hands to myself. Well he kind of tried his luck and I told him I didn't want to.





I can never understand why it is so difficult to grasp the FACT that most men(AND I SAY MOST MEN< NOT ALL) and women have an idea of sex that is as far apart as Venus is from Mars. Most women tend to view sex as part of a more intimate relationship. They learn this throughout their childhood. Good women wait. They are more into the emotional part of a relationship, and view the physical as being a part of that emotional relationship. Most men (NOT ALL MEN) do not have the slightest clue of how to express their emotions in a relationship, and they try expressing it through physical contact. This is also learned behavior for them. They are not taught to express their feeling in any other manner. I think that it also has something to do with testosterone. But anyway, my point is that men and women are different in their attitude toward sex. Most women believe that sex is all a guy is looking for, where I believe that sex is all a guy knows when he is trying to express his feeling.
Of course there is those guys that just want sex. They define their character b y how many women they can have. You have to decide what type of guy you have.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is this as good as it gets?
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:55:09 AM

she thinks people aren't meant to be monogamous and that ALL men cheat. I said I didnt believe that and that I had to hold strong to the belief that there was someone somewhere out there who held strong the same beliefs as I. But she has a point
MY QUESTION IS: IS THAT REALLY AS GOOD AS IT GETS?


What she says is somewhat accurate. I don't think that there is anything ingrained in the human brain that makes people monogamous. Monogamy is a leaned behavior. We learned it through various ways. One of the most important ways is called modeling. We model or imitate the behavior of those most important to us as we are growing up from childhood. The problem arises when those most important to us are not a model of good behavior. If we fail to see this behavior as being wrong then we accept it as appropriate and imitate it in adulthood.
As for your question. There are those that hold the same beliefs and value as you do. The problem lies in finding those people. Like you, they have been hurt badly from past relationships and tend to hide. It is far easier to weed out those people who are going to "cheat". They put up enough red flags to start a war. Most of us recognize those red flags and simply ignore them. The biggest reason for ignoring the red flags is physical attraction.
Good luck in your search. Learn to see those red flags, and by all means DO NOT ignore them.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
why wandering away?
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:37:25 AM
No one can really tell you why. Experience teaches different people different things. The problem you have related is common, especially on here. I think that there are a lot of guys, and girls that simply do not know how to end a relationship with someone. It is to easy for them to just walk away without explanation. Maybe they have experienced a lot of bad break ups, and are afraid of confrontation. Then there are those people that are just down right rude. They don't care about others feelings.
I don't know what type of people that you date, but this statement in your Post might suggest that you are picking the wrong type of men.

This has happened more than I care to elaborate on here, the above just being the more hurtful example.

If this has happened as often as you say then you need to look at yourself for the answer, because there seems to be one common denominator in your relationships. And that is YOU. I am not implying that you have done anything wrong, only that your PICKER seems to be broken.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
my ex-girlfriend.....
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:39:30 AM

I txted her back and she said that it wasnt good enough and she wants a better bunch of flowers. I really cant afford this and I told her that and I told her that I had been made redundant but she still just said that she wouldnt take me back unless I sent her a better bunch of flowers.


SAD SAD SAD!
Why would a grown up adult man even consider this. I'm not trying to put you down dude, but you can't be serious about this. If you treated her bad because of your "commitmentphobe" then you need to live with your deeds. Do you honestly think that she is being serious by asking you to send her flowers? How would this possibly repair anything that you have done to her in the past? I don't know the specifics of what you did to her, but I do know that she isn't going to forgive you if you buy her a new car. Save your flowers for the next girl. This one is GONE GONE GONE.
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What do you guys think when women ask you directly, right to the point.
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:05:00 AM

you know baby...id be glad to hop into the sack with you buck naked but the bedroom is cluttered and messy and it just makes it hard to "get in to the mood" when the room is a mess...would you like to help me tidy up first?...of course i'll wear that sexy lil whisp of cloth you bought me last week while we get this done


"Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me."
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What do you guys think when women ask you directly, right to the point.
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:49:49 AM
Being blunt can be a good quality, but it depends on factors. Including other personality traits that the person has. Some people use being blunt as a way to keep keep their relationships with others on an open and honest level. But there are those that use it to show superiority over others. Most people fall into the latter category. They often profess that they do not have ulterior motives, but it doesn't take long for the real truth to surface. There are usually many red flaggs. Lets look at a possible few of them...

but I feel like guys don't understand and think that i am trying to issue arguement.

Is it possible that all the guys are misreading you? I suppose that it is possible, but highly unlikely. Most men have a pretty good intuition themselves, though they tend to ignore it more often then women. When the "guys" don't understand they are displaying signs of confusion. This confusion can often stem from the fact that the words spewing from someones mouth is often contradictory to the persons body language and attitude.


I am the kind of woman who hate to watse my time keeping things in my mind.
is most often the kind of women that uses blunt rudeness as a means of controlling those people around her. The bigger issue, often, has to do with feelings of inadequacy. A controlling person, often, has these inadequate feelings rooted deep inside of them. They feel that if they can always keep control of conversations and situations the other people wont see their inadequacies.

People are so complex...GO FIGURE
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Advice would be great.
Posted: 8/14/2009 11:29:15 PM


- She could go out with her guy friends. I can't go out with my girl friends.
- She could buy everything for herself. When I buy myself a damn deodorant she'll call me wasteful of our finances...
- The whole sex thing previously mentioned...
- Just downright immature, and DUMB about everything.

Not quite understanding why you, having given us this description, stayed with her for 5 months. Not a very long time for a relationship, but forever with someone who fits the description that you are giving. I was surprised to read that you stayed in this relationship so long. Not sure how to respond too asking us whether you should take her back.

The worst thing is, she wants me back... Should I?

People who stay in these type of relationships, and even consider re-entering into it for a second time really confuse me. Are you that desperate dude? I know that you say you are taking applications for "SANE, honest ladies who think they can do better." But I question you sincerity. The truth is that if you allow someone to treat you as badly as you claim, and not only stay in the relationship for 6 months, but are asking for advise as to whether you should return to the relationship, then I have to suspect that you have some pretty deep issues within yourself that you have ignored for to long. Maybe it is time that you stop taking applications, and work on repairing the relationship with yourself.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do women like gay (man on man) porn?
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:44:15 AM

Most straight men like the idea of two women enjoying each other and most if not all want to have sex with two women at once.
Do women feel the same way about gay men and do they want to have a threesome with two guys who would enjoy each other as well?


To me the thrill of watching two women is conditioned on the fact that they are NOT gay. I know that it is often semantics as whether a person is gay or bi. But I equate gay as being only attracted to your own sex. I wouldn't see the thrill in watching two gay women. My thrill is with the fact that after watching a while I might get invited to join. With gay that probably wont happen.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
when you are in a bar or club.....?
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:40:15 AM
Reading this and your profile the first thing that pops in my head is that you are low on self-esteem. Woman pick this trait up quickly, and unless they are the possessive type, they are quickly turned off. Sometimes they will put you in the "he is a nice enough guy" category where they don't want to hurt your feeling. If you have an issue with self-esteem then there are no quick fixes. Often a person with low self-esteem who has to project as though they have high self-esteem will come off as arrogant. There are 1000s of self help sites on the net that will teach you self-esteem. All you need is the motivation to change.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Fade into never land after phone calls
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:25:13 AM

Why is it that after a few emails, then subsequent phone calls where there is an obvious connection and tenative meet up scheduled some men just stop calling or emailing, never to be heard from again???


Maybe this is being said above, but if it is I will just repeat. Maybe the connection is not as obvious as you believe. There are so many complaints on here concerning this situation, and everyone of them have varying answers. The reason for that is that we cannot possible know why. On top of the obvious (they lose interest) people often lie, and have no intention of meeting anyone. They get a thrill of just arranging a meeting. Put another notch in their keyboard and move on.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Men with Trust Issues
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:15:08 AM

however I am of the opinion that if someone has been hurt and doesn't trust .........should they project that on me and do I have to prove myself so that they can trust again? I think not but wanted to throw it out there to get some input.


You are taking it to personal. The distrust that your guys are experiencing has nothing to do with you. People develop a "frame of reference" based on past experiences in their lives.
The brain has this wonderful, but dangerous, way of protecting itself from emotional pain. It throws up little road blocks in order to avoid painful situations. Most often it equates intimacy with pain, and that is where the danger comes in. It doesn't always protect itself rationally, and innocent people suffer. About proving yourself. Most people go out of their way to show proof of their physical attractiveness, why not emotional attractiveness.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
why are guys intimidated by a bi sexual female?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:33:11 AM

I would just like to know some of the possible reasons that men are always willing to be sexual partners with a bi sexual women but not in a relationship...


You are right. Some men would consider it an ultimate fantasy to have a bi-sexual female that has no problem with sharing her experience with the man she is with. But eventually most of these relationships will turn sour. As long as the relationship stays at a physical level there probably wont be any problems. But then emotions start getting involved. People start feeling like there is no intimacy in the relationship. Then fear sets in. Fear is a great motivator, but often motivates in the wrong direction. It is one thing to lose a women to another man, but when a man starts fearing that he is going to lose his women to another women things start happening.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
I just don't understand
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:14:50 AM

I have been in two long relationships both lasting about 3 years each. Now I have been single for almost a year and it seems as though I can't attract women like I used to.


Long term relationships change the way a person feels and acts. During those relationships you got out of the attracting women mode(hopefully). My guess is that, because you settled into these long term relationships, you are uncomfortable in this new mode. Frustration breeds contempt, and contempt breeds loneliness. A year is a pretty long time between attractions. My guess is that you have forgotten how to be single and available.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I just need someones opinion other than my friends..?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:57:28 AM

If you raise the standards of whom you date to a reasonable level, you won't run into this problem.

Such a profound statement that I totally agree with. The problem with most relationships is that people have lowered their standards of what they find acceptable in a partner. The quality of relationship material has changed over time. Again I blame it on tv and movies. Back in the 40(s) and 50(s) movies were mostly romance and intrigue. People adopted this image. Todays images are much different. They are more in line with the me generation. Instant gratification is the norm. We seek out that gratification in an, almost, unconscious way. We develop an image in our minds of the type of people that we are attracted to, and often they are those types that are popularized on tv and in the movies.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
why is it hard just to find that special someone
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:35:09 AM

how real are men now these days

why i hear bs everyday from men

why do men lie

why dont men treat women like queens anymore.

where are the real gentlemen,

why does women gotta ask for what she want now these days when a man know hat women love an enjoy.


Because television and movies have popularized a bad boy image. You know the type -- the swaggering,****, macho jerk who treats women like they're replaceable, while they're waiting in line to climb into his bed. Men hate these guys, yet women love them.

Ask most single woman on here what she's looking for in a man and she'll tell you that she wants a nice guy with a sense of humor who will treat her well. But then she'll turn around and fall all over herself trying to get to a Bad Boy who will use and abuse her. A Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence and confidence. To women, these traits -- especially confidence -- are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the Bad Boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance. But women are responding to guys like this on a purely elemental, emotional level. Just as men are turned on by a woman's femininity, so too do women respond to overt male masculinity.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
FINDING OUT SECRETS
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:25:55 AM

Do you think he should take his profile off? Do you think I should push the issue? My kids mean the world to me and I don't want them to get hurt, and I put up with 13 years of abuse in my marriage and I don't want to get hurt either..


If he is communicating with other women on here (other then friendship) then you are in serious trouble. Trouble because you profess love for him. Trouble because your kids love him. My fear is that because you have been in a long term abusive relationship in the past you are a prime target for getting caught up in another abusive relationship. Don't be confused with the word abuse. It comes in many forms. You are going to get plenty of answers on here telling you that this guy is a loser, and you should cut your losses now. I would agree with this advise, but that isn't your main problem, is it? You know what the guy is doing, in your heart, but you are still compelled to overlook it.
Do you think I should push the issue?
is a scary sentence by someone who spent 13 years in an abusive relationship. What you need is some serious psychological counseling to help you with this previous abuse, or I fear that you will be in and out of abusive relationships for the rest of your life.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
**Men I Need Your Honest Opinion(Please&Thank You:)
Posted: 8/7/2009 2:54:34 AM
My niece just lost a son to SIDS. What a horrible thing that she is going through. Her baby was 11 months old. It has been 3 months now, and she has been on a frightening roller coaster ride that she cannot seem to get off of. She has kept everything inside of her. Finally a few weeks ago she started talking to us about the emotions that she is going through. The roller coaster has begun to slow down.
Most people are going to be supportive of what you must be going through. But I fear that there are always going to be some who will think of it as baggage. What a horrible thing. I don't think that these kind of people are bad. I think that they are afraid of having to feel uncomfortable. As hard as it is for me to say this. I just don't think I would be comfortable in a situation where I was meeting someone, and they started talking about death. I deal with it, sometimes, on a day to day basis, but not always on a personal level. My suggestion is that you deal with the death of your baby completely before you move into a new relationship. But at the same time you have every right to talk about son that you loved, and will always love. If a man cannot accept that and be supportive then he probably isn't worth your time anyway.
God bless you, and I will remember you in my prayers.
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Swingers..
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:57:08 AM

I use to swig[sp] with my ex and we loved each other very much. Sometime even more when we found partners. It just depends on how sexually open you feel.


I choose this post reply not to pick on the person, but to once again reinforce that there seems to be a lot of confusion between love and lust. Once those lines have been blurred it must be difficult to see and understand that there is a difference. I think the problem is that lust is quick and powerful, whereas love, is a evolving thing. People feel the power of lust and confuse it for "love at first site"
People, people, people. I do not see how any rational, normal, and intelligent human being can watch another person slobbering all over their partner and profess love. Well that is unless the rational, normal, and intelligent human being has never really experienced love. There are so many people on here advocating the opposite that one would think it must be true. I have nothing against people who have chosen a swinging lifestyle, but don't wrap up a turd and try to convince everyone else that it is candy.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
have you ever !!!!!
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:03:24 AM
No, but now I am wondering what else a person can put into their profile other then what they think of themselves. Why the heck would anyone be on here if they are not going to portray themselves in a way that attracts the opposite sex.
"Fat, bald, no job, no car, no home, but have a good heart, probably isn't going to do it.
It isn't uncommon for a person to see themselves in a way that is different then what others might see. It doesn't necessarily mean they are being dishonest. Someone that you might see as ugly, might see themselves as beautiful.
The profile is is a tool to weed out those who are not interested in the same values and ideas that you are interested in. It shouldn't ever be the final word.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
So... why did it tick me off so bad?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:25:36 AM
Listen,do yourself a big favor...don't listen to all the knuckleheads and go with your own heart!You know how many people on here LIE and never tell the truth...both men/women?You're probably not desperate and he may not be as bad as you think...if he liked you with nothing much to offer there may be other reasons why he did what he did and by being truthful he at least deserves a second chance if he hasn't stalked you.


Yes, by all means, do yourself a favor. All relationships, including friendships, should start out with a lie. Well not just one lie. Wasn't it everything he told you about himself that was a lie. A liar is a liar is a liar. Just don't be to shocked with the next series of lies.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
So... why did it tick me off so bad?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:04:21 AM
But then he suddenly admits that everything hes told me about his life is a lie, I feel really stupid and I get mad at him and tell him to bugger off.... and so he does... but tonight in the middle of me feeling sucky because of my shiat birthday that no one noticed he sends me a message asking me if i was still mad at him....


What you are posting is a common game played on here. There are certainly different degrees and variations of it. The most often played game is a persons e-mails you, gets to know you a little bit, and then out of the blue, e-mails some crazy sexual advance. The whole purpose is to elicit some type of emotional response. I had a person e-mail me for several months back and forth. I got to know this person very well, or so I thought. Then one day he e-mails and tells me that he is really a guy. He even offered an apology. Even though I was angry I recognized that I fell into this persons game, and that if I responded in anger it would just give him the prize he was looking for. I should have just ignored him, but instead I e-mailed him back and told him that I was really a lesbian, and that pretending to be a man was the only way I could get other women to e-mail me. I never heard back from him.
Recognize it for what it is, a game. If you want to continue to play then by all means e-mail him back.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I had girl ask me to suck anoher guys juices out of her is that gay act
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:34:52 AM
I recently did a threesome with a girl I have been dating and she had a fantasy of one guy getting off in her while other guy sucked juices out of her and spit it on her chest and stomach is that gay act. I think I just did it out of hotness to impress her ?


Probably not, but it sure seems like an act of desperation. If you aren't gay then you certainly might want to consider that what you did was dangerous. I am not sure how well you know this guy, but I am sure that you are now intimate with whatever STDs, including AIDS, that he might have. Not only that, but you have mingled whatever STDs, including AIDS, that she might have also.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
what to do
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:29:21 AM

Dear Sir,
A borderline personality disorder is the most difficult to deal with. I believe that you should keep your distance from her but that you should exercise your right to father your child. If she wants to make life hell for you, don't let her. Just stay calm and exercise your rights at all times. Get professional help to do this. You will need it. Unless you want to be part of her disorder you should not try to partner with her at this moment in time. I say you need to walk calmly through the hurricane and find the eye of the storm. Do not run away and you will certainly pass GO and collect your good fortune. Weather this storm. You need to do this for you. Good luck!


Sometimes I read some of the stupidest responses to posts on here, including some of my own, that it makes me cringe. Then there are the times that I read a responses that is so right that I just have to say GREAT RESPONSE ACTUALIZING!
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where is she?
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:07:05 AM
Already been tried.............................................
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is this the new dating M.O. for ladies?
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:01:46 AM
Fear is a powerful motivator.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:39:20 AM

on the contrary Mustang, in my experience the intimacy has increased through the lifestyle. Perhaps your experiences have shown you something else..or is that experience you're talking of real, or read?


Sorry I thought you were looking for opinions, rather then validation...My bad.
No i don't have any experience with swinging, but I do have a lot of experience with human nature. And I know that it is not human nature to share the bond that develops between a man and woman with another man or woman. There is no chance for intimacy there no matter how much sugar you put on it. It is a selfish need that, both people engaged in this type of relationship, have developed to maintain a sexual lifestyle and avoid intimacy. Sex is powerful and necessary in a relationship, but it is not the basis for true intimacy. Sharing your partner in sexual acts with others is okay with me, if that is what you desire, but don't tell me that you are sharing intimate moments before, during and after. What you are sharing is another persons bodily fluids, which contain larges amounts of pheromones.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Alcohol and sex
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:08:52 AM

Maybe it stops you from seeing how butt ugly the person is lol iv been way horny an needed any kinda male playing so iv put my beer goggles on few times that help with the lowering my sex partner standards


Now that's funny.

But I think WHYWATER is right. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. It also lowers standards as BBW suggests. Lowering inhibitions usually only takes a few drinks. Standard requires large amounts, depending on those standards. The problem with alcohol is that it is a depressant, and comes with a set of problems, mostly for men, all its own. I would be afraid that the problem would arise when you will always need the alcohol to lower those inhibitions, or standards. Wearing beer goggles are okay once in a while when the need arises. Drinking alcohol to lower inhibition suggests a deeper problem, and the problem with deeper problems is that if you don't deal with them they just get deeper.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:54:57 AM
The thing about swingers, in my opinion, is that most people are possessive in their relationships with others. Most swingers have learned to put that possessiveness aside for the sake of new sexual experiences. We are a society of morals, rules and values. We learn from childhood that when we grow up we find a good man/women, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. In reality most of us find that person, get married, have babies, make ourselves miserable, screw up our babies, get divorced, and grow old and bitter. Swingers often live a different life style. They have learned to set their own self-interests aside, temporarily, for the pleasure of their partners. Their relationships are usually based more on sex then love. Lust is often more powerful then love, and the swingers seem to have the perfect relationship. The problem is that the relationship is shallow, and based on a sexual lifestyle that virtually provides no chance of intimacy. Often one of the swingers will wake up some day and realize that his ole lady is sucking on some other guys wanker, and then the fun begins.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Can any girl learn how to deep throat???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:20:16 PM

I learned how to use my left hand... to catch things I threw from my right. If I use some force, I can accomplish anything. If a girl can take a face pirate, courtesy of WTKS, she can do anything.

If someone doesn't like to gag, I'll just swipe their merkin, give them a Shocker and donkey punch 'em. It's my style of teaching.


WTF did you just say dude?
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Change Your Type-!
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:25:30 AM

Then I see women who may be a bit more beefy and have a bit more "junk in the trunk" but really know how to move it and are animals (which I find more desirable).


Exactly. You find it more desirable. It's ok to push for something that you are more attracted to, but you seem to be suggesting that we should all be desiring the "junk in the trunk" chic over the supermodel.

beyond endless conversation and psychobabble.

Not all supermodels are stiff on the dance floor anymore then all women with "junk in their trunk" know how to move it and are animals. When I go to a restaurant I like steak and potatoes. I am not interested in the lobster or the crab, so I tend to not pay as much attention. Sure I give them a curious glance, but my attention is on the steak. If you like the junk in the trunk girls, then I hope you find what you are looking for, but I hope that you are not suggesting that we should all do the same.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Why she never calls
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:55:54 AM

I guess i found my answer.Gonna hurt a little though as i have been seeing her for a year and a half


No you probably have not found your answer. Not on here anyways. A lot of us are armchair psychologists, and most of us have no idea about relationships. Just read the things written in the forums, and the profiles. Most of us live in medium to large cities and we are on a world wide dating site looking for romance. Make your decision based on what you feel in your heart. If you get hurt then welcome to the real world. We all suffer the pain of a broken heart at one time or another. Without pain we would have nothing to compare with joy.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How loud is too loud when does it become a turn off?
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:49:30 AM

Can it be annoying or turn off if a female or male is moaning or talking to much or loudly when having sex? Are you loud or do you enjoy your sex partner being noisy in bedroom tell me your thoughts sexy peoples


I enjoy loud until it becomes obvious that it is not fake. Some people scream and holler, moan and groan, and 6 months later you read on Ann Landers that they haven't had a orgasm in years. Guys who sometimes have an insecurity problem most often think that they girl is faking when she becomes to loud. I once had a girlfriend that enjoyed PDA. She would moan like she was having orgasms. It was embarrassing to me but exciting to her that other people thinks that she is a sexual person. No one wants to have sex with someone that just lays there sqeeking, but to loud can definitely be a turn off. I don't have any sexual experience with men, but for some reason I just can't picture men who moan loudly or scream during sex.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is it ok to date more than 1 person?
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:37:35 AM
WOW! Sounds to me like you are already picking out furniture with this guy. You sound desperate for the type of relationship that you must have, at one time, had with your ex-husband. Married for 19 years is a long time. My guess is that, even though that marriage ended, you are longing for another long term relationship. You say that you know you "sound pushy, but you're not". I say if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. 3 dates does not make a long term relationship. If you like guy A and guy A likes you, then take the time to get to know each other. Don't expect everyday phone calls or texts. You are still early in this relationship. If you are more comfortable with being monogamous then that is what you should be. Not wanting to miss out on man B in case man A isn't going to happen is an act of desperation, whether you want to admit it or not.
Slow down girl, and let the relationship proceed at its own speed....
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Why she never calls
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:24:35 AM
she never calls unless its to meet her.Sometimes i think its just about the sex.I do see her about twice a week and sometimes maybe 3 .She tells me she is very much in love with me but if she is so why do she not so much pick up the phone and say hi after a couple days.


I agree. You are definitely seeing the problem. PROBLEM? Only if you are not enjoying the sex. What you have here is a good opportunity to enjoy some guilt free sex. Since your profile is hidden then I am unable to see your age, nor what you are looking for. If you are enjoying this relationship then relax. If it bothers you then get out now. I wouldn't give much stock in the "she is very much in love" with me idea. Women and some men use the love word to relieve the guilt they feel when they are engaging in a pure sexual relationship. Women tend to do it more, because it is more important to them they not appear to be a sexual slut.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:00:31 AM

Now we have two recliners and a full set of living room furniture


Funny that you are divorced, yet you speak in present term rather then past. I don't bring this up as an accusation that your profile is deceitful. I don't care as it is none of my business. Why I bring it up is that if you are still married and on here looking then your marriage is definitely in danger, and I am not so sure that the recliners is the problem. I think that the recliners are acting as a possible cure to a bigger problem. The loss off intimacy happens in a lot of marriages. It generally stems from boredom. Having a "man" chair gives a man his space. My suggestion is that you quit focusing on the chair, and focus of the loss of intimacy in your marriage. Ask your man to snuggle on the couch with you at least once a week. Tell him that you miss that. Restoring intimacy is a gradual process, and this will be a start. If he is not interested in snuggling that I suggest that the problems in your marriage runs deeper. Since you are not even admitting to being married, I can't ask you to discuss those other problems.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Single Mom Wanting Answers
Posted: 7/25/2009 6:52:46 PM
I know that you must have a lot of anger, and pain inside of you. No one likes to be left like that, especially someone who is pregnant. I know that you also opened yourself up to get bashed by a lot of men on here. Seems like there are others on here that have some hidden anger themselves. We are never going to be able to answer your question as to why this guy left. One guy said immaturity, and I would guess that is probably the most appropriate answer, though I think he went further and gave some inappropriate stuff. What I tried to do was decide if your attitude is out of hurt and anger or if you generally have a mean disposition.
I'm also...
crazy at times
obnoxious
snobby

might sound fun and romantic, but most of us tend to shy away from the obnoxious and snobby. I doubt that your guy just woke up one morning and said "oh gee an 18 year old....See ya!". Usually there is fault on both sides. Growing up and taking responsibility is a two edged sword.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do you tell them your married in your profile
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:03:00 AM
So which is best honesty with no interest...........or telling lies to attract and then you find out?


Depends on what you are looking for. If you want a women that will eventually love and respect you, then I suggest that it is appropriate to tell the truth. The search might become more difficult, especially if you are married and not separated. If you are married and separated , and are looking for a new partner, then honesty is best.
If all you are looking for is a sexual encounter then lie your a s s off. Because it doesn't matter. Anyone responding will only be looking for a sexual encounter too. If you are married, and want to cheat on your wife, then you will have to lie at some point. so you might as well do it from the start.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is it asking too much????
Posted: 7/25/2009 8:53:45 AM

I think I already know the answer - I had him pegged as a player right from the start, but I still think a guy should call.


I am probably not going to add anything new to this. The fact that you had him "pegged" doesn't make sense. I am not sure why you would expect anything different from this guy unless you are not that experienced with players. My guess is that you are feeling a bit guilty about having sex with him. There may even be a tad bit of an ego blow. I know that if I had sex with a girl, and we had good chemistry, and she did not call afterward, my ego would be hurt.

I am tired of dating guys who make you feel like you need to take a number to see them: "Now serving #142"


This also does not make sense. If you are so "tired" of dating these types of guys then why do you keep doing it. My guess is that you like these types of guys. That you like the sex, and that you like to feel the guilt after the sex.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
just wonderin...whats up
Posted: 7/25/2009 8:45:18 AM
I don't know how much help I can be since all men are different, but let me try to speak in general terms.
The type of men that you are writing about are those men that are probably going to dump you sooner or later anyway. They are not looking for anything other then a sexual relationship. They may tell you different, or even act in a manner that shows otherwise. These type of people generally have a fear of intimate relationships for whatever reason. Not all men are like this, and if you have had an overwhelming experience with these types of men then I would suggest that you do a self-evaluation, and try to discover the type of men that attracts you.
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
satisfaction
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:39:36 AM
Great sex is best achieved when two people are linked in mind and spirit as well. If I care about a woman I am going to be patient and take the time to learn just what satisfies her and likewise if she cares about me she will do the same..... Thats alot different than sex for the sake of sex where two people are out to satisfy themselves without really caring about the wants and needs of the other person.


To much mind and soul can take spontaneity out of some sexual pleasure. I agree that you have to care about the wants and needs of the other person, but there are times when I just like going at it for my own selfish pleasure. This works better if your partner is doing the same. I have know lots of women who loved being taken by the hair, bent over the kitchen sink, and DONE without a care for each others needs.
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do guys really like the chase??
Posted: 7/22/2009 7:20:08 PM

I'm curious.......is it a total turnoff for a guy if a girl is mainly the one initiating contact(phone/email etc)....and is it true that if a girl stops contacting a guy...the guy will soon stop and wonder why she isn't contacting him anymore and start to pursue her again??


It fricking amazes me that men and women ever get together.
 mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
why do you really think you have to say you dont want a cheater???
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:51:05 AM

But how do you know quickly if a man IS a liar and cheater?

You can waste a year or more before you find out. They can be the nicest, most loving, most devoted seeming guys in the world up until you find out about them lying and cheating.


Show me any man who is the nicest, most loving, and most devoted guy in the world, and I will show you 3 red red flaggs.
 
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