Nasty children- how to overcome? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Nasty children- how to overcome?

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Nasty children- how to overcome? Posted: 9/27/2009 5:27:04 AM
Hi all, great that I'm getting so much feedback-I really appreciate all of the suggestions and advice- I love the idea of group defence- ie. a number of children all standing up as one against the problem. Just to clarify - my son has just turned five, and a lot of his classmates are four. It is a reception class, very first year at school , and they're all still very much finding their feet, so I don't know that they can work as a unit just yet. The latest, and most troubling incident has happened since I last posted- on Friday I picked my son up from school and he told me that the child who has been giving him problems, said to him that he was going to bring a sarp knife into school and cut his neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I'm furious, and told the teacher straight away, but now I'm at a loss. I'm meeting the head tomorrow, any advice please??

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

What books would you recommend to me? Posted: 9/25/2009 4:46:06 AM
Hey, this is a great thread- I love it! It's given me loads of ideas and reminded me of some old favourites that I need to re-read!! I will literally read anything, high to low brow and anything in between. In no particular order, and trying not to mention books that have already been mentioned: Small Island-Andrea Levy The Dark Tower-Stephen King Dean Koontz- anything by him I have loved. Even books that on the first read haven't affected me, I find myself thinking about at a later date Terry Pratchett- Cracks me up every time Robin Hobbs- she's ever so fantasy orientated but I really really enjoy her books. Katharine Kerr- these are also fantasy books, but really thought provoking.I found myself lost in them. I like all of the standard chick-lit- but I think that marion keyes is in a class of her own when it comes to that. Colin Iggoldn- (Not sure I've spelt that correctly) has done an amazing series of books on both Julius Caesar and Ghengis Khan - they sound dry but are fantastic. The Host- by Stephanie Meyer who wrte the Twilight series is pretty good. I'm off to read something now. I'll def be back. and thank you again!!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Nasty children- how to overcome? Posted: 9/24/2009 11:18:09 PM
Thanks again everyone- there's a real divide here over whether its better to retaliate in self defence, or maintain passivity. My son's currently still maintaining his "tough" approach, which coupled with his size, will hopefully deter the bully. I do feel that at five, I don't want him hitting. Not unless it is a last resort. It's incredibly frustrating, the whole siuation, and I have made all of the people at the school aware of it, as well as obtaining a copy of the anti-bullying policy there.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Nasty children- how to overcome? Posted: 9/24/2009 3:26:04 PM
whoah- thanks everyone for your input, there's a lot here for me to think about. Navigator6, just to reassure you, I have in no way instructed my child to kick butt!The martial artss course is a prospect purely as it will instill in my son the self-belief, and confidence to deal with this bully- and, yes, I use the word bully , as he is taunting, threatening, and has actually punched my son. To an extent I am concerned that should I dwell on it, with the school, and the paren ts, it will escalate, and so I am simply seeking advice and opinions on the best way to equip my son to deal with the situation. Thanks again. not neccessarily in a violent way, perhaps simply ensuring he isn't afraid of him.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Nasty children- how to overcome? Posted: 9/24/2009 12:38:59 PM
Thanks for the replies . Just today I have been looking for martial arts courses in my area, as I think that it would give him more faith in his strenth and his abilities. To be honest, he's very tall and strong child- people often mistake him for a seven year old, so I know that if it came to a physical fight, and if he disregarded the teaching he has had, ,he could more than hold his own. Clickon-baby- did you mean that if I don't encourage him to physically defend himself, I am emasculating him? I obviously want him to grow up to be a man, it just seems to me that five is too young to be encouraging him to punch another child. And there are further implications because of the size of him in relation to other children- I'm sure that he would come out of it looking like the bad guy . At the moment we're trying the looking tough defence. Whereby, he errr, looks tough. Basically if anyone says anything mean to him he's to say in a loud and angry voive "Dont talk to me like that".Hopefully that says to the bully that he won't stand for it, but also gets the attention of any nearby teacher or adult. Anyway, thanks again. Any tips or advice is ever so welcome, as I really want for him to socialise and interact well, and not be upset by one little horror.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Nasty children- how to overcome? Posted: 9/24/2009 12:02:28 PM
Hi there people. First off, I'm a single mum to a five year old boy, and we live in London.He's recently started school, and there's one little boy there who's being really nasty to my son. Threatening to punch him and break all of his bones, taking the mick etc. Now I've done all of the obvious things- told the teacher, spoken to the boys mum (didn't seem that bothered, said she spoke to him but he was just the same the next day), and I'm trying to reinforce my sons confidence as a result of this little thugs actions. My question is this- I have always told my son to tell an adult, or a teacher if someone is nasty, rather than endorse violence. The teachers are implementing measures such as monitering my son more closely, but is this policy more likely to result in the bullying escalating? Should I allow him to stoop to the level of the brat acting up, as it seems that aggression is the only language this child seems to understand? Both my partner and my sons father are advocates of the self defence - if they hit you first, hit them back harder- school of thought- but that seems to me, to be contradicting the past five years I've spent teaching my son respect and non-violence (if that's the right phrase?!) Please help, I don't want him to be a walkover, but I don't want to teach him that hitting people is the answer! All advice much appreciated.Thanks

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

What have you kids taught you? Posted: 9/21/2009 3:18:05 AM
Wow. This is an amazing idea for a post. And ever so thought provoking. My son, and the fact that I nearly died during my pregnancy, has taught me an incredible amount. I have learnt about the value of little things- he has taught me about making the most of every moment, and finding the best in every situation. Teaching and entertaining him, allows me to view everything differently. And that goes the same for many situations in my life. In looking at the lesssons I want him to learn and the morals I want him to live by, I have had to look at myself. Little things , like not using words like "hate" and "stupid", eating three regular meals a day, taking more of an interest in the wider world. I always wanted to be the best I could be, but my son has shored up an intensified that desire. Even relationships I may have approached negatively and with a bad attitude, I'm now approaching positively and trying to see the best in. I emphasise the positive and use the negative in my past to try and better myself. I guess that overall, I just appreciate everything more. It's such a gift, everything. Seeing the world through his eyes, getting to embark on the adventure called life, with him. Little things like empowering him, so that he can confidently go to school, and learn. I'm just so thankful for him, and being entrusted with him makes me such a better person.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

here we go......... again!! Posted: 9/8/2009 5:43:22 AM
Thanks.Yeah I quizzed my neurosurgeon, but busy and important as he is, I didn't really get answers. What I'm really looking for is some tips to stay sane and really control and manage this and my state of mind. I'm trying to stay positive, and that's pretty much my natural state of being anyway, but it'd be helpful to get others experiences and tips.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

here we go......... again!! Posted: 9/8/2009 4:24:30 AM
I'll do my best to keep it short and sweet- about 2 years ago I had surgery on my brain stem due to soemthing called a Cavernous Angioma (tangle of blood vessels, that, er, bled lol).The angioma, when it bled, caused lots of symptoms, basically I had a series of strokes. Now after the whole recovery and rehabilitation ( which basically amounted to lying in bed for six months and being pathetic!) I went on to resume exercise,set up a business, and generally be fine. Now I'm still fine , outwardly,and apart from my somewhat haphazard balance you'd never know that there was something or anything wrong with me, but a recent MRI found that I've developed another of these little blighters. In a much less dangerous place (back of the cerebellum- if you're interested!), but sttill, something I could definitely do without!! I would be ever so grateful for any advice relating to this. Specifically-is anyone aware of anything which can lessen the chances of a bleed? or has anyone got any tips of not letting this new development phase me? Has anyone got any brain injury/recovery stories?? Ta folks.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

What do you do to cheer yourself up? Posted: 7/30/2009 5:47:02 AM
I go to the gym, or I make jelly. Weirdly ever since I was 16 I find jelly-making really theraputic.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

You've talked about fat guys, what about shorter guys? Posted: 7/30/2009 5:45:35 AM
I'm 5 8. I'm pretty much only attracted (physically) to men that are significantly taller 5 11 etc. I will say though, that I've dated men that I would never have considered attractive, because of their personalities.If a man can make me laugh, he is really halfway there!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you need your partner to find you hot? Posted: 7/30/2009 5:42:43 AM
Yes yes yes yes Of course I want him to find me hot and attractive - I don't think that you should stop taking care of yourself once you're in a relationship. But I also want him to find a lot more in me than the superficial. Attitudes, values, humour- I want him to appreciate all of that (and vice versa). When I was a year into my current relationship, I had some strokes, and subsequent brain surgery- I didn't look at all hot through the whole experience, and must confess o not being a ray of sunshine either! If my partner only valued my looks then we still wouldn't be together now. I must say as well that if he clocks or comments on attractive woman, I'm not threatened at all. However, if he says that someone is funny -I'll b e like "what, funnier than me?" . Looks fade.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Favorite Lingerie... Posted: 7/30/2009 5:30:45 AM
Ok, not a wife, but still going to get involved lol . For pure sleep purposes - if I'm alone then I love a mans white T shirt-mmm , cosy., or jus nakedness. But if we're talking about seduction, then I'm all about variety-corsets with stockings- fishnets preferably, high high heels, babydoll nightdresses, french knickers and a basque- I think I'll try anything dressing up wise, although haven't gone down the pvc/ rubber route yet!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

I love the way my child.. Posted: 7/26/2009 6:02:49 AM
What a lush idea! I love the way my child will be in the middle of doing something, and will look up from it and call out to me "Love you". And not just as a delaying tactic at bedtime!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Children Learn what they live Posted: 7/25/2009 2:55:29 AM
This poem is so true. I had some awful experiences as a child ( domestic abuse, violence, abandonment an d finally foster care) and I love seeing positive poems that act as inspiration to me to be the best parent I can be. I'm so lucky and blessed to have my son, and he makes every day brighter for me.I think it's lush that we can all strive to be better. It's also really pleasant to see some constructiveness (is that even a word?!) on here. Thank you.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

A question of balance... Posted: 7/25/2009 2:48:05 AM
Thanks everyone, for your insights. I'm aware that visitation/maintainence are used as a tool by some, and that isn't a road I wish to travel.Whatever my ex has done, and the issues I personally have with him, are in the past, and I really just want to establish a workable solution whereby my son has his needs met, financially and emotionally. I have been in dicussions with my ex since he has received the communication from the CSA, and it seems that it's given him a real wake -up call, in terms yof realizing that financially he does need to make some contribution. To be honest I have no wish to take a high percentage of his wage that the arrears would require, as that would be vindictive. My son hasn't gone without the basics in the past, and as a previous poster said, what's done is done. So I'm going to (hopefully) just establish an agreement where he has to pay set amount,weekly, henceforth, and should he fail to do so, then it would be policed by the CSA. One of the knock on effects of our discussions has been my ex explaining to me the huge problem the distance is, in terms of seeing his son, so we're in the process of arranging a way I can help with that. It may be the case that I'm setting myself up for a fall, and being let down again, but I am concerned about a deduction of earnings being applied to his wages as I don't thin k that I'd react well . Fingers crossed, anyway! Thanks again.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

A question of balance... Posted: 7/24/2009 9:32:12 AM
Thanks again everyone for the advice. In terms of the arrears- the arrears which have been added are since June, not sincce my sons birth.I have waived those. With respect to how I would feel should the situation be reversed, I would definitely pay, although I might prefer to do so via vouchers- or in goods.I have offered my ex that option. I dont wish to force him to see his son- but he does state that he wishes to.It simply falls to me to arrange and/ or facillitate it.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

A question of balance... Posted: 7/24/2009 8:25:16 AM
Thanks everyone, for your input. In terms of the contribution excpected, apparently the CSA are asking for what my exx feels is a preposterous amount. Does anyone have any standardized amount/contribution that they work by? I think that the CSA have applied for 15%, but as the payments are in arrears I think that it's getting larger as a percentage, perhaps as much as 40% until the arrears are paid off .I don't wish to cause him financial hardship, but he does not make any contributon at all thus far.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

A question of balance... Posted: 7/24/2009 5:05:25 AM
sorry. i forget that paragraphs are my friend!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

A question of balance... Posted: 7/24/2009 4:58:06 AM
I'll do my best to keep this short, if not sweet.Having recently made a claim from the dreaded CSA ( my son is almost 5, I work full time, as does his father who has never paid) I am currently receiving phone calls from my ex which are trying to persuade me to drop the claim, and work out some personal arrangment regarding my his contribution.I have tried this repeatedly in the past, to no avail. My concern is that I already have to push bth my ex and his son into a relationship- ie persuade my son to visit as he doesn't want to leave me, ring my ex to remind him to speak to our son as he hasn't in over a month- generally smooth the whole process over and try to make it easier- I'm just worried that being forced to make a financial contribution will sour my exes attitude to our son, or cause damage to their relationship.This is not what I want, as I have fought for years for them to build a solid bond, and that is why I have never pursued maintainence doggedly. Can anyone suggest a way I can make this process easier, or a solution that can benefit my son and his father.Or a way to ensure my ex does contribute without causing resentment?I've suggested Asda vouchers, clothes vouchers etc, and have even made it clear that I'm happy to provide receipts, but that doesn't seem to have helped. My ex is financially ok, but I think that because I bend over backwards to be civil, I think that hes genuinely upset that it's getting to the stage where payment isn't an option.Any advice or help or suggestions would be gratefully received. Thanks.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

ladies.....you wanna know how you can tell if a guys into you or if he's full of shit? Posted: 7/21/2009 5:17:18 AM
I agree with Erin. If you'ev got that nagging feeling, chances are that something's up. Obviously excluding the paranoid and the overwhelmingly insecure, if your partner is acting in a way that prompts a need for reassurance, then there's a problem.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

ladies.....you wanna know how you can tell if a guys into you or if he's full of shit? Posted: 7/21/2009 2:05:09 AM
I think this list is pretty good actually.Think a lot of the time we women overthink men, and make excuses for them, when blatantly, actions do speak louder than words.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Brain surgery- getting my body back!!! Posted: 7/21/2009 1:29:55 AM
Thanks again everyone. I'm just concetnrating on cardio at the moment, and that seems to be helping- I definitely feel better, both overall and specifically in terms of my balance etc.Off to see my neurosurgeon next week, so will be using some of your advice as basis for my queries. PS>Ali Im removing my restrictions so hopefully you'll be able to contact me now!!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Parent or friend? Posted: 7/7/2009 6:04:18 AM
Myself and my four year old boy have a great time. He cracks me up, and he's a pleasure to be around. Recently though , I've been worrying that I'm too much his friend and not enough his parent. We're dead close, and have always been, but I was just wondering if that has occurred to anyone else? He does what he's told, is polite, helpful etc, but I'm not sure if I need to be a bit more distant or authoriarian? Has this been a concern to anyone,and what did you do to address it? Thanks a lot

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Music that helps you through your workouts Posted: 7/6/2009 11:37:00 AM
As a relative newcomer to the gym -and a total wuss, I hasten to add, I am definitely in need of uptempo and aggressive songs to get me, and keep me going. This week we have : Avant-You Know what John Legend- Green Light Chris Brown- Hold up Neyo n Keri Hilson- Knock You Down Neyo- Miss Independan Brandy:talk about us Destiny Child: survivor Keisha Cole :last Nigght Whitney Houston:not Right but it's okay They all get me feeling quite energetic and positive. When it starts to hurt, I love Jay Z:takeover, Nas:Ether , Jay Z:Encore, Mos Def, Ms Fat Booty, but any rap really.Those just work for me.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Brain surgery- getting my body back!!! Posted: 7/4/2009 4:32:30 AM
Thanks everyone for all of the advice. In terms of the steroids, I've been off them for a year now, so no worries in that respect. The main problem I have is where I wasnt permitted to exercise for so long I have literally, no fitness. In terms of balance and co-ordination, that's not a strong point for me either! Nerve damage wise, the only residual effect I have is mild right side weakness. I'm currently working on building up my cardio fitness, but really wanted to know any suggestions for machines/ exercises (excluding weights, as I cannot strain my neck) that I could do to tone up and achieve more. At t he moment I use mainly the cross trainer, the treadmill and the bike. Thanks again people, it's lush to have so many wise and inspirational folks out there!!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Signs of a stroke/Something everyone should read Posted: 6/30/2009 10:47:20 AM
Hi there people. It's interesting reading everyones responses to this thread- there seem still to be some generalisations that strokes are caused by excessive weight, poor lifestyle etc. Just like to throw in my two pence which is that at the grand old age of 23, I had a stroke while pregnant with my son. It wasn't because of drinking, or smoking, but because of a tangle of blood vessels in my brain stem called a Cavernous angioma, which oozed blood onto the nerves in the area. While I was lucky enough to recover and have two stroke-free years before the condition caused problems again, in 2007 I had repeated strokes (4) which finally warranted brain-stem surgery. While pretty recovered now, I will say that one of the things I found the hardest was the reception and judgement I received from people.I couldn't walk, talk, balance, or see properly,and people were rude, dismissive and sometimes insulting. That was the last thing I needed at the time.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Brain surgery- getting my body back!!! Posted: 6/30/2009 8:13:40 AM
ouch, I feel a bit told there! As I stated earlier in the thread I'm looking to improve my balance, co-ordination and fitness, as have been unable to exercise for two years. While I appreciate that exercising isn't a method to "spot reduce fat", I expressed my intention to imrove my fitness and health. If you'd read the thread you'd see that I am eating more healthily and exercising at the gym regularly (5 days a week). The part you quoted referred to which additional machines I should use to specifically tone those (for me) problem areas. I appreciate that exercising is a passport to a more healthy lifestyle, but I don't feel that its wrong to exercise to look a certain way either. I'm not hugely overweight, so increasing the strength and muscle mass of certain areas is for myself, probably the way forward. Thanks for your help.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Brain surgery- getting my body back!!! Posted: 6/30/2009 5:55:57 AM
Thanks ImaHotMess! Yeah the neurosurgeon is happy with me exeercising as long as there's no mad weight lifting etc, no strain on my neck etc. Food wise, I'm being strict with myself, from having always eaten lots of unhealthy nonsense, I'm now eating a lot of meat n veg, and minimal carbs.Fruit too. I've never really dieated or exercised before, so i'm a total novice, just looking to improve my fitness, body and balance. Are there different machines I should be using? I'd really like to tone my bum n thighs, and stomach too. Thanks again.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Brain surgery- getting my body back!!! Posted: 6/30/2009 3:53:18 AM
Hi all, just looking for some health and wellness advice, and apparently this is the place to get it!! A little bit of back story first- 2004 while pregnant, I had a stroke and was diagnosed with something called a Cavernous Angioma. I recovered and all was well, then in 2007 it started playing upp again, I had some more strokes and had to have a partial excision of the CA in my brainstem. The surgery left a few residual effects, mild right side weakness, nystagmus, zero balance etc, but overall I'm now doing fine! Having recently been okayed to exercise by my neurosurgeon I'm now joined up at the local gym. Excepting weight lifting and endurance training, I'm allowed to do anything, and I'm just looking for some tips on improving my fitness and body.I'm 5 foot 8, and weigh about ten and a half stone, so not massively overweight, just looking to tone up and hopefully drop a few pounds as the steroids left their mark! I'm currently doing ten minutes on the bikes, the treadmill, the cross trainer, and the arm trainer (Sorry I don't know the technical name for it lol!). Has annybody got any suggestions, tips, or advice please?? Much appreciated in advance!Thanks.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

mollycoddling-guilty of it, now I need to address Posted: 6/10/2009 12:50:09 PM
Hi all. My first ever post so help rather than criticism would be ever so appreciated! Right, I'm the single mother of a lovely four year old boy, and we've been on our own ever since he was born. He sees his father regularly, in school holidays etc, but in terms of influences, I'm the main and consistent one. Now my son is really well behaved, polite, obedient and ridiculously cute/handsome. He's very protective of me, as I was in hospital, and had to have brain surgery thus rendering me absent for a chunk of his second year. When he goes away he's very keen to return, worrying that I'll be lonely etc.Now, we haven't really got a great deal of family nearby in terms of having an influence on him, so aside from nursery, and my partner (who I have been with for three years) it is mainly just the two of us, and mine is obviously the most significant influence. My concern is that he is becoming quite clingy, and whingy. Generally not what is deemed acceptable in a boy. He seems unconfident, worries when people won't play with him (the nursery assure me he's popular, entertaining, and sought-after as a playmate). Basically, I'm writing to seek advice as to ways I can "man" him up! Discipline is not a problem, more enabling him to react to discipline (ie. time outs) with less complaining! Is there anything fellow forum-ites can suggest as ways of encouraging him to enjoy being a little boy, and fulfill his potential, and also to allow him to grow up? all advice much appreciated, and I'm sorry it was long!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Are the Success Stories for real? Posted: 6/1/2009 10:27:10 AM
hey, i have never posted a success story- to me it seems a lil like tempting fate, but I did meet my partner on here, and we have been together more than three years now- does that count? Having a look at the stories- they're some of them uber cheesy- but don't let that put you off lol!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

why do men say they will call and then don't? Posted: 4/17/2009 9:36:10 AM
MEN sometimes LIE. WOMEN sometimes LIE. Both sexes have a massive variety of reasons for inconsistencies in behaviour. If it was me, and I liked the guy I'd probably ask him what was going on- you have absolutely nothing to lose if he's messing, and everything (potentially) to gain if he's not. I think knowing is better than wondering- welll, it works for me anyway. good luck, n if he carries on like a fool- then he's probably a fool, so no loss at all really!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Record time - how much time does it take to catch a fish? Posted: 4/17/2009 9:27:49 AM
i'm a girl, i was on here for about a week before i met mine- three years later n we're swimming along nicely (lol)!! good luck!

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

What if you know the guy wants something different to you? Posted: 2/18/2009 10:39:18 AM
Three years ago, I began to date a man from this site. From the very beginning he was very open and honest about wanting to date, rather than to be in a relationship. I really liked him, and everything he said , and despite my fears that id fall for him, I stayed. We dated, and got to know each other, and things gradually grew and evolved. We stayed dating as we had fun together, and three years later, we are in a proper relationship!!We're settin up a business together, and i couldn't be happier. I think that people sometimes need to get to know each other before they rush into things.

geordiebabe

Joined: 8/3/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

how often does ur ex see ur kids Posted: 2/17/2009 10:17:06 AM
I have one child, a boy who is 4. His father and I split up when I was pregnant, and despite the many, constant ways he irritates me, I ensure he sees his son as often as possible. We live around 3 hours from each other, so it's mainly the school holidays.It works out about a week every two or three months. I don't personally think this enough for my son to establish a proper relationship with his father, so I do my best to involve his father in phone calls (weekly or bi-weekly) with cards etc. Unfortunately my ex does take advantage- he didnt buy my son a birthday present, choosing instead to fly to Vegas with his new girlfriend!! Despite the foolish ways he carries on, i Cover for him ie: getting my boy prsents wrapped and telling im they're from daddy, etc. Although I find it difficult that I'm bending over backwards to help my ex, I'm trying to facillitate a good relationship for them in years to come. All this despite no maintainence since my son was born! in my opinion, a woman should try and overcome her negative feelings and try to encourage a relationship between children and their fathers. They may have been a rubbish partner, but they could be a great dad, and may simply need help to do so.

Show ALL Forums