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 Author Thread: Sitting solo on a scary Saturday (Halloween)
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Sitting solo on a scary Saturday (Halloween)
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:58:41 PM
Well, I just got back from taking the grand kiddies trick or treating. It's amazing how few houses are lit up, compared to when I was younger or even when my daughter was younger. These kids definitely EARNED their candy, wth all the up hill, down hill walking we did...and it was good exercise for ME!

If I didn't have my family around me, I would probably be more of a hermit during these Holidays...but they put the FUN back into it!!! I saw a lot of people my age giving out candy and really getting into it....so they aren't ALL giving up, although they may have family around that keeps them into it, too.

Oh yeah...it was even RAINING...well, drizzling!

OP, we SAW you....BOO! (Thought you'd get away with it, huh?)

~DC~
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 537 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:32:42 PM
I've always loved my men hairy...although I also love the bald head.

BUT...aside from looks, there is another reason I love "fuzzy-faces"...since I've gotten older, my skin has gotten thinner. Now, if a guy has any stubble at all when he kisses me, it rubs me like sandpaper, and actually rubs me raw! Unless I plan to get involved with a guy and have it involve no kissing....(No thanks!)....I'm afraid he will now have to grow a beard. I wouldn't ask him too, though. I think if he SEES what it does to me, and doesn't suggest it himself, that would mean that he's too insensitive for me.

~DC~
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
The most important virtue over 60...for women and men.
Posted: 8/13/2009 1:51:47 PM
tresor cache said....
I think the most important virtue for anyone over 60 is .........breathing. Yep, definitely...don't leave home without it. What? Breathing isn't a virtue? Just try getting along without it.

Of course when people can't breathe they do a lot of praying and that's virtuous too.


Bingo!!!! Ding, ding, ding! I think we have a winner! True, breathing isn't a virtue...but it leads there, like you said!

DC
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is it possible for men to flirt
Posted: 8/1/2009 9:55:12 AM
Hmmmm...sounds like Moooocow is flirting with NotaNurse

...and if these are ALL of the signs...we women need to start paying more attention...so this now takes the place of the 'direct approach'?

I'm sooo not finding your problem, Notanurse...but that's okay...I'm not complaining, either.

~DC~
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:47:43 AM
Pashune: why would your post be deemed null and void because of your age? I don't think this problem only exists for us old people...I'm sure it's an 'online' thing. I'm glad you found your special mate...and local, at that!

Piano4te: Dayton, Ohio, huh? fattest, least educated, poorest? Funny, I was born and raised in Ohio...(Massillon)...and didn't find that to be true at all. Even now, when I go home to visit, my friends are mostly thin. But then, my friends don't go online much at all...I guess they keep busy doing other things, which keeps them in shape. I also did the long distance thing before...and moved to be with him...mine only lasted 8 months after the move. It didn't completely sour me on the long distance thing, but I doubt that *I* would make the move again, unless it's an area where I have some common friends or family already....like you say.."A place that I can call home". It's expensive, to say the least...and if it doesn't work out, it leaves you in a strange town where you know no one.

lovesmesumboys1: Bingo! Someone who is having lots of luck with the locals! I guess you win the prize, my dear!!! Oh okay...I just read your profile...and you aren't there yet! THAT explains it all!

danzandsing: I know what it's like in a big city...you'd think it would be better, but it's really not. I noticed that when I lived in San Diego...but then I wasn't really interested in most of the guys there, as they weren't my type. Most were health nuts, and I was into rednecks.

Fifi47: I can't imagine a man saying that...but he has GOT to be the rudest man around, and I'd just consider the source. Yeah, it IS about being in the right place at the right time, but when the right place is 1,000 miles away, how do you get there? Seriously, when you get my age, you have no way of knowing which ones are single or not...or where the people my age hang out...but this thread isn't about people 'my age'.

abelian: Well, I've contacted some people in my area...put others in my favs....but even the ones that I end up having contact with, seem to not be into actually meeting. They don't SAY that, but after awhile, it becomes obvious. I have had better luck meeting the ones who aren't close.

bobisthe14u: see above.


cinsay: This is why, when getting close to someone who is far away, a discussion has to be made from the get-go on who would be willing to move, if anyone...a 'what if' type of scenario. I think msg 25 was just giving ONE point of view...not speaking for everyone. Maybe the distant people HE has been in contact with have expected HIM to be the one to move? After awhile, you just say 'no more!'...ya know?
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 7/23/2009 9:10:12 AM
Eski-bro: It doesn't matter why you couldn't find anyone in your town, whether you grew up there, or move there later. The point is...they are right here on POF...just like the distant ones...actually the local ones are more easily accessable...yet people seem to go for the distant ones.

rockondon: Oh yeah...the local ones don't want me...you hit the nail on the head...but how do they KNOW? Because of my zip code? It's not like they KNOW me here because I just moved here about a year and a half ago.

GoodmanGreg: Ya know what's the real kicker about these distant people contacting you? They have to try twice as hard to FIND the people who aren't local, as opposed to their profiles coming to YOU!! I didn't realize the POF guys were so ambitious!

thebugisback: Nope, the ones I have been contacted by, don't do the forums here. The one I moved here to be with, played in the forums and that's how we met...but I contacted him. I agree, though, that it is much easier to get to know someone that way. Some are just so adorable, but as usual, they are all sooo far away...*sigh*

seekndestroy: I don't know about that, if it refers to the guys, too. One of the men contacting me from afar is in WA with all the rain, like you.

BrianSnoCO: I assume you are responding to bugs post, since I said nothing about age. Since you mentioned it, I'll put in my thoughts. Age is an individual preference, just like the other things you mentioned. I have had relationships with guys 10 years younger when I was in my 40's, but it was because I had my child later in life, and the people this age are who had kids the same age, and therefore I had more in common with them. Now, however, my chld is grown, and I'm looking forward to retirement so someone 10 years younger just wouldn't fit into my lifestyle so much...make sense? Of course, no rules are cut and dried when it comes to matters of the heart.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:39:12 PM
WOW! This thread just took off, when I quit looking. I thought it had died!


kpooks:Maybe that's why they look so good...BECAUSE they're so far away!!! Hang out with them in person for awhile and you might not think so highly of them.
Kinda hard to hang out with them when they are so far away, don't ya think? (This is off topic, but do you mind if I ask where you came up with that name? I wonder, every time I read one of your posts)

Hi Bugsbro...I'm fine...haven't heard from you in a while...hope you are doing fine, as well. You say it's easy to be charming when you know nothing is going to come of it...well, it seems to me like the locals know nothing will come of it, too, so can't they be equally charming? I doubt that they'd be on here logging in regularly, if they weren't corresponding to SOMEONE...and most likely that 'someone' is many miles away. I wish I could take a poll of how far away the person is, that everyone is having the most correspondence with...I bet the results would boggle the mind! Another question...why would you have to 'listen to all the grief from your friends' about a local person, as opposed to a disant one?

zephyrmoon: Even when they CAN ask to 'meet in person this weekend', I don't think they worry about it enough to let it affect whether they are relaxed or not. JMO

guyd42:You'd THINK it was just a fantasy, but that isn't it, because I have MET some over the miles. It can't work because of the situation I'm in, and I tell them that, but I'll be darned if they don't insist on giving it a try anyway! (It must be the challenge?)


Excellent Guy: Come on DC it's a fishing site. You know even when you're in your boat the guy on the other side of the lake is catching all the fish.
...THAT made me laugh..of course I realized that for many, it's 'the grass is greener on the other side' theory..but most of us should've outgrown that by now, wouldn't ya think? At least those of us that are over 30...and especially the ones MY age! Good grief! I'm almost sixty! (Don't laugh)

Justmeandmax: "You can't train an old dog"...ouch! Sounds like that comment was meant for me...Just kidding, I know it wasn't...cause I'm trainable!
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:29:00 AM
Sweet J-me baby,
I don't think that new feature is something for me. I prefer getting to know a person prior to meeting, seeing if there are any common interests or if we spark each other's interest enough to want to meet. To put myself on some list for random strangers to hook-up with me for a date on a whim would make me feel somewhat like an escort, I think.
That's exactly the way I was thinking.....but maybe we are wrong, judging from posts below yours?

Whole 9 Yards...Well??? I'm waiting to hear how it went....or aren't you tellin'?

HDspringer09,
What's up, POF? Secretly accepting bribes to "remind" someone of someone?
bribes, indeed!! That's funny, but that obviously isn't the case with mine. Funny thing, though...I put the first one in my favs...then another popped up and it was another non-local guy, but someone I consider an online friend, so I added him to my favs too. Now its been a few days and there haven't been any. Maybe POF gave up on trying to do that to me again!

njdxnj, well, I certainly LIKE your take on this!! It sounds like fun when you think of it that way. Hmmmm...maybe some of us should just change our way of thinking?

I have another question...I notice that you can change the mile radius within certain limits to get dates...but how do you know whether the other person is willing to go that distance? When you sign up, does it ask you how far you are willing to go? I mean, you can expand your choices by playing around with the ages, too, but when the ages aren't agreeable to both, it's obvious on the profile.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:15:52 AM
Carolann0308, I wonder about the trust issue, too. Knowing nothing about them could set a woman up for a bad experience, I would think, unless I saw a testimonial from a local woman, letting me know that she had met him and was vouching for him being a nice guy. (This is how I think the testimonials SHOULD work, BTW)

Lilpaco, another beauty with no luck...well, I don't guess I'll be trying MY luck on it, then...*sigh*

Ouch, Exciting one...how rude! I would've deleted, too....and for your information, I don't see where you have a weight problem. It's HIS problem, not yours.

Maybe98012, it seems like a lot of people just haven't noticed it yet....look at the people on this forum thread who didn't know about it before seeing this thread....and some people never read the forums. I think that maybe we need to give it moretime before judging.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:11:37 AM
Man, I've been away too long...got busy with other things and now there is a lot more responses.

Pro-filer, I can't understand why you didn't get any responses, because you are pretty, and your profile is nce, too, although maybe they didn't feel it told enough about you, since it was done in humor. Still, if they can't take a joke, would you want to go out with them? It's just a one night date, after all, and they could find out what they want to know then.

Not innocent, another week has passed...did you ever try it? I'd like to know what you thought.

Jaqi, I'm surprised to hear that you got no takers either...and you are also very pretty. Have you considered contacting someone who is on the list, instead of waiting for someone to contact you?


It's not really any different than a blind email except you can say "Hey, saw that you might be free this Friday PM to get together with the right guy...I could be that guy. Give my profile a shake and let me know if you're interested"
Yeah J!dub, you could be right. I was thinking, 'why would I want to go out with someone who has never shown an interest before, and I haven't had a chance to get to know?'...but maybe I'm wrong in thinking like that....limiting myself, huh?

Abelian, this list isn't generated by POF...we put ourself on it. That's the difference between this list and the other ones you mentioned.

Kow626,
filtering seems to be the biggest issue. if i don't meet your mail settings restrictions, i shouldn't show up in your search n u shouldn't show up in mine n vice versa. n since i can't contact u based on those restrictions, u shouldn't b able to contact me n vice versa.
You have a very valid point there. That would get aggravating, I would think. You can't blame people for their restrictions, as we all know who we would like to date...who we are looking for. Who wants to go out with someone they have no interest in? hopefully, though, POF will come up with a way to eliminate those that don't fit from showing up, though.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Women with Harleys
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:04:32 AM
Bluez, you would pass up a profile that had motorcycles as an interest? Then I assume you would pass it up if she had ANY interests that didn't match yours? How limiting....

Count me among those who have motorcycles as my interest, but no way should anyone take that to mean that a guy I get in a relationship needs to have one. All of my interests listed, are merely things I have done at one time or another and enjoyed...at different times in my life. I list them all, so as to not isolate anyone who may have an interest in ANY of these things.
I don't own a bike, but wish I did. When I lived in CA, I rarely saw a woman with her own bike...here in PA, I see them all the time! If I had one, I could join in more with the Friends of the Forgotten and Warriors Watch groups that I belong to.

As for women with bikes being out of shape.....nah! I see many women here in PA who have their own bikes and are in great shape....even well into their fifties. There is no correlation between bike owners and shape...two totally different issues.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/24/2009 3:58:16 PM
Now I'm curious about something else. Rather than start a new thread, let me ask here....

Anyone notice that when you go to your favs page, there is between 1 and 3 little profile pictures that show up....consistantly...and can be clicked on? I have no idea what THAT is about, but the person on mine is a forum user, but he isn't even local??? I just added him to my favs so I could put him where he belongs... So far they haven't replaced him and this is the second day.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:02:45 AM
Tas star...yeah, it IS fairly new.

BaldyisBeautiful...yes, there ARE a lot of unanswered questions....although you said them with sarcasm, I don't think you are so far off with some of them, such as who pays?...and what the date consists of. I guess they figure you will ask in an email, but I'm betting it would be awkward to ask, "By the way, who is paying?" Better to both have money and be prepared. Personally, I think it should be dutch...but it's best to make it clear beforehand.

TxWheels, I forgot to mention where it is, and I can't change it now, so thanks for asking. It is located in your inbox, just above your emails, in big letters...can't miss it, although it can easily be mistaken for an ad.

abelian....That sucks that they wouldn't make sure to only give you ones that are within your range to be able to contact them. I guess it still needs to be tweaked a bit.

The one who never replied to your earlier message must have done that to so many people that she got lonely, and is now having a change of heart .... Ya think? What goes around....

I don't understand how they could be in the 'online in the last 30 days' category...after all, I believe you sign up to be put on the list for that week, and it gets deleted and the list starts all over again at 2 pm the following Friday. Maybe Markus will stop by and explain that?
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, "Want a date on Friday night?"
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:31:06 AM
I see this new feature..."Want a date on Friday night?". I'm wondering what you all think of it? ...And if anyone tried it? If you did, I'd LOVE to know how it went...and if you think it's a good idea?

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/18/2009 9:15:14 PM

ForumsGee: "Why are the Good Ones so far away???"........
Because they are sooo far away !! ! LOL

That's what it seems like sometimes, huh? ...but when you think about it, if someone 2,000 miles away from you, seems like such a 'good catch', why isn't that person just as much of a 'good catch' to the men in her area? Do you get what I'm saying? The person they are, hasn't changed.

Dennis115, I can't tell you who is 'a good one'..that's something only we as individuals decide since we are all different...but there should be some 'good ones' close by, too... not just far away. Funny, that just made me think of something else. "Isn't it the 'good ones' that always 'get away'?" Why is that???


Justmeandmax: Even if you figure 1/4 of them can handle me it's still only about 5 or 6 so I guess there is no other option but to have to travel within reason.
You don't think that 1/4 can be trained??? Are you really THAT hard to handle? What makes you think the ones you travel the distance to see will be able to handle you? Maybe you should put that in your profile...some women LOVE a challenge! I mean, as long as she can dodge pillows, and food being flung her way...and doesn't interfere with your job as a turd polisher, how hard can it BE? C'mon!


javalover: If you are being 'yourself', that is when you are most attractive.
If you are attractive, people want to get to know you.

What makes you think the local people aren't being themselves? I know *I* am...I wouldn't know HOW to be someone different. Yet...the ones who want to get to know me are miles and miles away.

The more I read these responses, the more tempted I am, to do my experiment I mentioned in the opening post. If I ever get brave enough to do it, I'll let you guys know how it goes....but...I would have to hide my profile first...long enough for the locals to forget about having seen my mug shot up there. It could make for a lonely life, because it's not like they don't write...it's just that they never take it any further. Plus....I guess like the rest of you...there is always the hope that our Mr/Miss Right is right around the corner, and just hasn't joined POF yet, ya know? (Otherwise he/she really IS thousands of miles away, and we're all waiting for him/her..(or US?)... to move!)

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:27:26 PM
8soldierfalcon8, so...have you figured out where you are moving to? It really CAN make a difference!

ForumFilly,9200 miles apart? WOW!...and I considered a few thousand miles to be long distance! I think the forums are responsible for some people being attracted to someone so far away, because you really CAN get to know someone better that way...and how many of us live close to other forum posters? If not for the forums, maybe a lot of us wouldn't even LOOK at the profiles of those so far away, ya know? Sept 30th...hmmm...I'll keep that date in mind. So when you say he is arriving Sept 30th, and you don't plan to ever be apart again, do you mean that you will have the first meet and move in together right then and here? You are really brave, but really, all it takes are two people who are determined. Then you will have dual citizenships ... cool! Yeah...keep us posted.

Don06, you said,
I honestly think people on these sites really aren't looking for a relationship, it's just a clever rouse.
Does that mean that YOU aren't really looking for a relationship? ...because you are 'one of us', you know. Personally, I think most of us ARE...or at least, I think it was the original intention, although I think some are getting disillusioned with it all, which is why you see so many here 'just for the forums'.

Danzandsing, I would've thought NYC would have a lot of choices, but maybe its the same deal as I had, when I lived in San Diego. Who knew, huh? (It sounds like you already have a long distance person in mind?)

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
aging moustache
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:30:36 PM
Oh no, don't dye it, honey!!!! I looked at your profile, and it looks fabulous! I may be partial, though, since I like hairy guys anyway. I wouldn't dye it, either...keep it natural, whatever color that is.

Someone on this thread said that she thinks a mustache makes a man look older...I never noticed that, but maybe it's because I think older men are very sexy anyway. I think men get better looking as they age.

I love being tickled by a man's mustache....I sure hope they don't decide to take that pleasure away from us...

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Who pays for a cancelled LD trip?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:12:16 AM

...Touche' I've always maintained that the best way to get to know someone is to observe them....and what better way than to watch what they post.
...maeflowers


Isn't that the truth, Mae? I wish it were a requirement for all POFers to post on the forums. We would learn who to avoid....and also, we would find some people who we wanted to know better without going through all the BS.

I think some people just have a hard time putting themselves in another's shoes....until it actually happens to THEM.

Then others just like the drama that can be brought on by disagreeing...no matter what the topic. You will see them disagreeing and arguing over and over ...in thread after thread....sad, really.

Don't let the negative people get to you, HD...there are wayyyy more positive and honest people out there. You definitely don't deserve this...

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:23:51 AM
Actually, I think love at first sight DOES happen...but it isn't recognized until later.

For example, if you were very attracted to someone the first time you saw them, (call it lust or infatuation), and as you grew to know them better, it turned into love, getting stronger all the time...then, looking back you would say it was 'love at first sight'. I experienced that with the man I moved out here to be with. So yeah, its possible...you just don't know it for what it was till hindsight hits ya.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:38:10 PM
Wingsonmyfeet, I love your sense of humor!

8soldierfalcon8, Oh yeah, I remember a thread you started awhile back, wanting to know which state had the best women...or something to that affect. Sooo...did you ever find out? What state won? Please don't say PA...I don't need any more competition!

Uncle Grumpy, (I love that name...I can't say it without a big smile on my face!) Whether an hour is long distance, or inconvenient, depends on the people. Some people really don't mind the drive. I couldn't handle it myself. My last relationship in CA, which lasted 10 years, started out with us having a distance between us of an hour and 40 minutes....beautiful drive, as he lived in the country, which is rare in San Diego. He came down every weekend, and the drive didn't seem to bother him at all. Of course, as your relationship gets more serious, the drive seems to matter less, as you are going the drive for a whole weekend, as opposed to for an evening. Gee Grumpy...with those odds, you are going to have to advertise on a billboard on the most traveled road to find those 2 people...or do some traveling to meet the woman who would be willing to move...or maybe you need to relocate if you don't like the other option of being single forever, huh? (Let me know, if you decide to come my way!)

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:19:23 PM
Wildheart, I can tell a big difference in city folks vs smaller town folk, too. While I notice several comments on getting more responses in the bigger cities...(which I never noticed)...I happen to LOVE rednecks, so here I'm more likely to find what I want, which equates to quality for me.

Justmeandmax, does that mean you don't clean up well?

Good answer, Itechman42...I couldn't come up with anything. (I'm slow, ya know?)

Mandrake, you just gave us a lot of information. I, too, have been in a LDR before. I don't have to tell you that it wasn't successful....I'm on POF, aren't I? It would be a long time before I would make the move again. Now if THEY wanted to come to ME....hmmmm.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Bad Dates Resulting in Picked Noses
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:43:01 PM
Why do so many people feel the need to resort to childish games? This is the second thread I've seen lately to this effect.

It's really not hard. I have a really hard time with worrying about hurting somone's feelings, so I would never be able to reject someone to their face without feeling really bad. Soooo...I have a system that I follow. I almost always refer to the first get together as a meet, planning on coffee, or something simple, and not planning on more than a half hour. I also do enough emailing in advance, that we already feel like friends, and let them know that if nothing else comes of the 'meet', we will at least have made a friend. I don't discuss ANYTHING during the meet about how I feel...of course, if they offer to take it further right after the meet and I agree, it's obvious that it went well. Otherwise, I leave and when I get home, I send an email thanking them...and that's when I say, "but I don't think we are a match"...or....if I want to see them again, just end it with"...and I had a wonderful time" or something to that affect.

How hard is that?

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:40:46 PM
ForumFilly, I've been reading posts about you and Paul in several threads...from both of you. I wanted to congratulate you both on finding each other over the miles. I thought about you guys a bit when I did this thread, because that is a LOT of miles....and crossing the country lines...that would REALLY take a lot! I hope I never fall for someone that far away because I don't think I could handle it...even if I was rich enough to do multiple visits, I don't know if I could ever leave the country...nor could I expect it of anyone else. Have you met yet? Have you decided who was going to make the move? There is a lot to be considered in a LDR...even when it's within the USA...let alone when it isn't. I wish you two the best of luck...

Wingsonmyfeet, Are you talking about 'mail order brides' by any chance?

Justmeandmax, Steph has a little laughing icon after her comment, so I think she DID get it.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:22:11 PM
Zephyrmoon, you COULD be right...but I think most are not seeing each other as often as they would like...and would love to be seeing more of each other. Some even make the move happen. I would think even a mistress could be found locally...all they'd have to do is fake like they travel on their job, so that they could get away with only seeing them as little as they want...and it would be much cheaper, wouldn't ya think?

Seekndestroy, well, now that you know you were wrong, you can move back to where ever it is you came from....Is that Mars? (j/k)

HDspringer09, you would THINK that a more heavily populated area would make all the difference, but I'm from CA, and when I was living there I was more attracted to those I saw in other states. Of course, now I see some cuties in CA...Go figure! (I STILL see a lot more cute guys in this area though, than I did when I was in CA, which was more heavily populated.)

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:35:35 PM
Justmeand max, now that's just funny!!!! I'm sure you have it all figured out!

LewZer23,(Your name is really original...and cute)... I think, too, that often the grass is greener on the other side...although I'm sure that's not ALWAYS the case. There's some real attractions going on there...to the point of flying the distance for a first meet! BTW, your profile is cute...I especially liked this...


I will glue the toilet seat down if you desire.


...you don't see THAT very often!

Spicynicegirl, I know what you are saying...I'm seeing lots of great people who aren't local, too...I'm as guilty as the rest of you....just wondering why that is? Surely there are many that are closer....don't get me wrong, there are some good looking men in my area, too, and I've contacted a few, but they never seem to go anywhere. I can't even get the first meet to happen!!! Maybe we just get so USED to seeing those pictures at the top of the screen, that they just 'blend in with the scenery' after awhile? That's why I'm thinking they must like the challenge that comes with going the distance.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:09:56 AM
Not love at first sight...but I can get 'lust at first sight'. Sometimes it happens when I view POF profiles! Of course, it takes a lot more than that to make it go anywhere....

If lust at first sight was all it took, there would be a lot more relationships going on...and a lot less 'poor me' forums...IMO

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:56:30 AM

sheila M: I've wondered about this too. I think different people have different reasons, several of which you've already mentioned. I think it's kind of like that phenomenon where people will type to you things they'd never say to your face. They're hiding behind distance and the keyboard.
Sometimes I think this is true, too. So easy to claim how much you care when you don't need to 'own up to it', huh?

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:53:31 AM

Demondingleberry: Because they don't want a real relationship. They want the fantasy of a relationship, not the work and responsibility.
I WOULD agree, but there are quite a few who went for it. Not all worked out, so maybe that was true of one, but not the other?

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why are the Good Ones so far away???
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:29:53 PM
I was thinking of doing a test...putting an 'out of state' zip code on my profile, and then email these guys who live in my area. I know they would like me...but ONLY because I live far away...(they think). Once we emailed a while, I would offer to 'fly' out to meet them and have them pick me up at the airport. After having a wonderful time, I would let them know I was practically their neighbor.....only thing is....that's probably when it would fail.

Of course, I wouldn't do this, because it would be dishonest...and I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet. But judging from all the people who complain that there is no one in their area...and judging by how many people seem to be attracted to someone so far away...it's almost guaranteed to be a win-win situation!

Just wondering...why is this? Is there something alluring about knowing they are so far away? Is it the challenge? Is it because you really have no intentions of ever really being in a relationship, so this is a cover? (Yet some long distance couples actually meet...) How can it be, that soooo many people aren't interested in those that are within 50 miles????

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Who pays for a cancelled LD trip?
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:04:41 AM

Dejavu all over again. I had a woman cancel a Thanksgiving trip to Philadelphia which included front-row seats at the Eagles-Cardinals game. The lesson I learned was to ALWAYS buy travel insurance for LD relationships!


Foothillsman, ouch! That sucks...so you paid for plane tickets to go?...and I assume she was from your area? Next time, invite someone from Philly area...you will only need YOUR plane fare. )

HD, Who knows? Being a seasoned flyer, maybe she DID get travel insurance...not that it will do YOU any good, if her morals suck. Possibly, she is waiting on her refund and THEN you will get your half....but don't count on it...especially if she is no longer in contact.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Who pays for a cancelled LD trip?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:17:11 PM
Some of you act like the fact that he didn't buy the ticket on his own credit card is a bad thing. To me, it just makes it that much more obvious that she wanted him to come....and therefore she is all the more wrong for keeping the money.

How would she have felt, if he would've treated her like crap after she spent HER money to see HIM? How would she have felt, if he had left her stranded at the airport? There are just some things we don't do to others, if we were brought up right...no matter whose card it was on. That point is irrelevent.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Sex Tips That Will Turn Women OFF...or not????
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:05:48 PM
Mandrake, A sex therapist at 24? of course! At that age, they think their generation INVENTED sex! (Boy, our generation could teach them a thing or two, huh? Too bad we don't share. )

I agree, Leeanne...relationships/people are very unique...that's what makes them so special...and what works for one, may not work for others.

Serenity BC, I doubt that they are thinking of us as a pig roast....it's their idea of fun...and while I wouldn't exactly call it romantic, I bet it would create some memories/laughs. Once, I heard about using pop rocks to enhance oral sex, so I decided to try it. Oh man, talk about a sticky mess. We sure had some laughs. I can't pass the pop rocks in the store without giggling to myself now.

Scheherrazade, I would love little notes like that, too. No, I never had anyone apply lipstick for me, but if he wanted to do that, he would have to bring his own, because I don't wear it....and if he had his own lipstick, I don't think he'd be my kind of guy. As I said in another thread, though, I would love it if he wanted to paint my toenails...or shave me....or shampoo my hair...massage my feet....

danzandsing, really? It's from 1999? How interesting...I honestly just got this from NBCSandiego website today. I wouldn't think they would be posting such old articles....maybe just the fact that the comments were new? The thong idea would be sweet and sexy, I think, as long as we were already intimate...not before. (And if we were already intimate, I doubt that he would want to see me in a thong! Remember, I'm 60! )

I agree with what you said, Snatch n grab...you did notice that I said, I didn't agree with the author, either, much ...except for the lipstick part...but then I don't wear lipstick anyway.

Chris...yeah...while tanning...that would sure spice things up a bit, huh? Nothing wrong with a little fun and humor thrown into the mix...

MsMicki...(I always love your posts)...I agree with you...oh yeah, having him brush my hair...how could I forget that one?

Wildflower520, there is nothing wrong with you...I see that there are several of us that agree on this...

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 135 (view)
 
What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:10:51 PM
I would have a hard tme being rude, even if they were rude first. It's just not me. BUT...he would never get another date, so hopefully he wasn't planning on it.

This is a classic sign of a potential abuser. The first step is to lower your self-esteem. BTDT...never again!

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Who pays for a cancelled LD trip?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:37:13 PM
I definitely think the right thing to do, would've been to refund the money. If she was having second thoughts about the trip, she should've said something before you bought the tickets.

In my opinion, if a long distance communication gets to the point where you are actually flying to do meets, then hopefully you became friends first. I could understand it more, if both tickets were purchased at the same time and then when you met, things weren't as they seemed... but you had already had one visit, and things went good. At this point, she should've continued on, taking the chance that either this visit would make you closer...or you would, at the very least, be good friends.

I value friendship too much to 'stick it' to someone who has done nothing hurtful to me.

I'm sorry she did this to you, HD...especially in these bad times when no one can afford it. Like faceur said,
If she keeps it, she is stealing.


~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Sex Tips That Will Turn Women OFF...or not????
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:46:25 AM
I saw this on the news today, and since it was discussed a bit on tanother thread, I thought I'd post it here and share....

My comment...

Oh, REALLY???? I wish they would've shown us the whole list, to see if I agreed with all the others. I didn't find all of these to be such a turn off....(wellllll, not unless it was brought on too soon....)...how about you guys? Well, maybe the lipstick part, but then, I don't wear lipstick anyway. (I'd feel like they were testing out the theory that "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." )

Sex Tips That Will Turn Women OFF

By WENDY ATTERBERRY

As the guys over at Men’s Health have proven time and again, they’re pretty sure they know exactly what makes a woman tick. Too bad they’re REALLY WRONG! This time they’d like their readers to believe they’ve got the secret sex tips (33 of them, in fact) to turn a lady on in no time flat. Check out their most ridunculous tips.


1. Buy Her a Silk Thong A gift of lingerie is cliched, right? So twist it. Give it to her when you (seemingly) don’t expect sex right then and there. Pass it under the table at a restaurant and ask her to go to the ladies’ room and change into it. “It’s a little naughty, but she has a chance to play back,” says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., a relationship therapist in Seattle. Not recommended for a first date.

Um, no, just, no. This isn’t naughty or sexy — it’s just cheesy and annoying. What kind of dinner are you taking us to that you’d think it okay to pass us a silk thong under the table and ask us to go try it on? We’re trying to enjoy our meal! You go to the bathroom and undress and put new underwear on. We’ll just be here sneaking fries from your plate and draining our wine.

5. Skip the Flowers Blooms at the office are overdone. If you want to stand out, send a card instead. “It’s really the thoughtful things you do at nonsexual times that make a woman want you,” says Paul Joannides, author of Guide to Getting It On! Go with a thank-you. Write out a few things you’ve never thanked her for—making breakfast on Sunday, cleaning your stubble out of the sink. An appreciated woman during the day is an appreciative woman at night.

Okay, and from now on, we’ll just show our appreciation for you with a magnetic poem on your refrigerator. After all, oral is so overdone!

10. Apply Her Lipstick “Grooming a woman is kind of a role reversal,” says Linda De Villers, Ph.D., a California sex therapist and author of Love Skills: A Fun, Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships. “She’s being doted on and served, and it shows that you think a certain part of her body is attractive.” Other ideas: Shave her legs, paint her toenails, or brush or wash her hair. According to a menshealth.com poll of 3,200 men, 76 percent said they have shampooed their woman’s hair. And Men’s Health readers don’t waste their time on things that don’t work.

Apply her lipstick?? Really?! Show of hands, ladies — how many of you would be turned on by a guy applying your lipstick? Just as I thought. NO ONE. It’s creepy. Don’t waste your time.

15. Give Her a Massage But make it interesting: In hot weather, roll a chilled can of soda along the backs of her thighs. In cool weather, warm a towel in the microwave for 10 seconds and massage her with it. Season her belly with a little salt, and then slowly lick it off. Add tequila to taste. Turn winter gloves inside out, put them on, and massage her with the soft side.

It was all good until you got to the “season her belly with salt” bit. Did you think you could throw that in and we wouldn’t notice? WE WOULDN’T NOTICE A GUY SALTING OUR BELLIES LIKE WE WERE A PIG ROAST and then using our bellybutton as his personal shot glass?! Salt is not an aphrodisiac, guys.

31. Make It Easy For oral, stand while your partner kneels or sits on the bed. This angle lets her take more of you, gives her better control, and is less tiring.

Wait, is this about what turns us on or what turns you on? But, you know, really thoughtful of you to figure out a way to make giving you oral less tiring. We’ll be sure to send you a thank you card.
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why do we have rules?
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:22:24 PM
Mandrake and Bug....my friends....you guys are cracking me UP!!!

OT: I thought rules were made to be broken??? Otherwise why bother???

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Things I have experienced that are unpleasant when meeting someone...
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:14:32 PM
Well, the more people you meet...especially if you don't get to know them well in email first....the more unpleasant experiences you will have. OP you have had 6 meets in 7 months...I have had that many in 3 years....and by choice. I haven't had a bad experience yet, although I will someday, I'm sure...just the law of averages.

R2D2_1...I met my late husband on a blind date, too. Wasn't impressed on the first date...don't ask me why we went out again two weeks later, but the rest is history. Says something about first impressions, huh?

I think the biggest problem on POF, is that a coffee date isn't enough time to really get to know someone, when you consider factors like shyness, nervousness, or even bad timing or someone having a bad day...

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/11/2009 1:19:14 PM
This wouldn't bother me, as I get along well with most people...even my exes. I'm also not the jealous type...if I ddn't feel that you were trustworthy, you wouldn't be in the picture even if you lived alone.

Games? Wow! That sounds like fun times to me. The only problem I would see, would be if one of your roommates and I 'clashed'...rare, but it could happen.

As for being alone, 'where there is a will, there's a way'....even if it means hotels or camping trips...or my place.

A word of warning, though....my sister used to live in that kind of situation...and found her renters through the local newsaper. Once there was a roommate, who went away without telling everyone...(they thought)...they kept putting phone messages on her door. Finally, they found her....in her bed, dead...she had committed suicide. Coroner said the only reason they didn't find out sooner was because she had opened her windows and the weather was cool, which kept down the odor.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
too many opposite sex friends.....
Posted: 6/11/2009 11:28:33 AM
I have opposite friends, too....but we HELP each other....and that also goes for dating. That's what friends DO...they HELP each other....not hold them back!

If I have plans with my opposite friend, and he gets an opportunity to date someone, I ENCOURAGE it....even PUSH him to do it....our friendship and any plans can wait...unless it involves paid tickets to something. It works the same way with him towards me.

But then, with my opposite sex friends, it is more about communication, advice, or mutual organizations....not so much 'hanging out'....except for my best friend in CA...who happened to be a 'gay guy'....and even then, I expected his relationship to come first.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Getting to know someone
Posted: 6/11/2009 11:14:02 AM
There is no time limit...it has more to do with how comfortable they can make me feel and how long it takes them. Men that send emails that just basically answer my questions, if that, but aren't willing to open up and let the conversation flow, will take longer. Some have a way of making you feel comfortable right away.

Sooo...I'll meet some people in a week or two, while others I may email for a month. It also depends on what is going on in your lives, but as long as that info is known, it shouldn't be a problem. We all have visitors from out of state from time to time, etc.

Funny thing, though, often when I say I'm ready to meet....they disappear!..even though they were persistantly asking about it before that! There have been some who I was glad I didn't meet right away, because after a bit of time, I saw their true colors.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Should men act their age?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:20:17 PM
^^^^You HAVE to be a 'wild and crazy guy' to be a Parrothead!!!! I went to my first Jimmy Buffet concert just before moving from CA...they called me a 'virgin' bcause it was my first... what a wild and crazy evening...I never wanted it to end!!!!

OT: No matter how old...or young... a guy acts....as long as we can share some laughs, it won't matter!!!
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Should men act their age?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:19:54 AM
All I ask, is that you be YOU....I have met far too many men in my past, who pretended to be someone they weren't. ...only to show their true self later in the relationship.

I think it's best if you have some of both in you...not too old to play...yet not too immature to be taken seriously when required. Hopefully, the playful times outnumber the serious, but I guess it all depends on what is going on around you at the time.

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What happened POF?!
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:04:12 AM
I was going nuts, too! Kept trying....and trying....and trying....finally went to bed.
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
messages that say
Posted: 6/8/2009 10:12:50 AM
I see a lot of people here blaming the short message on the fact that the OP didn't have any content in her profile. Well, that could be true of some of them, but not all. I have a very wordy profile, and I still get those short, say nothing messages. (They do have to have say SOMETHING now, as I have it selected that it has to have 50+ characters.)

I don't blame them for the short first email, as I hear about the read/deletes, and I can imagine it would be hard to put much effort into something that may get deleted anyway. After that, though, there is no excuse. Yet, I still get emails that will basically say 'hi..have a good day'.

Seeing that I have lots in my profile, and some of them have next to nothing, I feel it is on them to tell me about themself. I will ask questions and some will answer my questions, but add nothing more, and then I have to come up with more questions to try to keep the conversation flowing. After a while, it gets old, and I feel that they aren't putting any effort into it, so why should I?...and I let it die. It makes me wonder why they even bother with this method of meeting someone?

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Risky behavior at 45+
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:46:19 PM
I see many different thoughts on what is risky behavior....and what isn't. I think I'm a BIGGER risk taker now, than when I was younger. Still...that said, I don't consider myself to be a risk-taker. My biggest fears are height, (which I seem to be overcoming), and self-control. By that I mean that I am afraid of things that put me in control. (I think I may be overcoming that one, too, not sure yet)

I love to ride on the back of a motorcycle....I don't consider that a risk at all...but I'm not in control...the driver is. I'd rather put my life in his hands than in my own. (Lately I've been thinking that if I could afford to get a bike, I just might want to get a license and give it a try)

Another example is Parasailing...again, someone else has the control as to how far I can go, and personally, I don't see how anyone could consider that risk-taking anyway, unless they have never done it. I was up there practically yawning and wondering, "Is this all there is?"

My fear of heights took over when I tried skiing...and I couldn't get past the bunny slopes, but then I was only 20, and I'm probably braver now.

I would try almost anything if I was with someone...especially if the other person had control. I would LOVE to try white water rafting...scuba diving...hang gliding...with someone. Forget about bungie jumping or jumping from a plane...I just have no desire.

I had someone from POF come across country to meet me....and then I flew the other way across country to spend 10 days with him. Later, I sold my house in CA and moved to NE PA to be with him. I considered that to be pretty risky. I was planning to move anyway, but to my hometown, not to a strange place where I knew no one else. But...I have no regrets....

I think the riskiest thing I ever did, was to get the cochlear implant...and I lost. THAT is something I DO regret....

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Foreplay: A Man who can paint your toenails and even do designs on them.
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:24:46 AM
Ya know, at almost 60 years old, this is something I have never experienced...boy, do I feel cheated! lol

I think I would LOVE this....it may not be foreplay as in 'OMG, let's get to the next step-NOW', but it is definitely foreplay in the way that foreplay happens all day long...starting with that first kiss in the morning when you wake up.

I love catering to my man, and it is just in recent years that I got to experience being pampered in return. I loved it, and I'm not sure I could ever go back to the old way now. It was different when I had no idea what I was missing. I don't know if this is a difference in men as they age...or if it's the difference between men in CA and men in PA...but all is good!

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Do you have to need somebody to make it work?
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:09:44 AM
I think there is too much emphasis on the 'words'....as far as want vs need, they pretty much get tied together once you are in a relationship anyway. Now if you were talking, "NEEDY"...then there is a BIG difference.

I was in a LTR before, where he got entirely too needy. Even after it was obvious that there was nothing left in our relationship, he refused to let go. If it had been because the love was still there, it would've been flattering, but it was pretty obvious that wasn't the case...after we were together, he just sat back and let me take care of all his needs. I started feeling like I was his MOTHER...and that wasn't good...especially since he was older than me...lol

Same thing with love vs in love. Usually I see this AFTER a break up, as he/she tries to make as though they never really cared...pretty lame. You love your family, friends...you fall IN love with the opposite sex in a relationship. I wouldn't think I should have to ask..."But are you IN love with me?" It should be a given...people need to 'grow up'. If I ever had a first meet with someone who tried to tell me he wasn't IN love with his previous wife/SO, I'd shove him out the door so fast, he wouldn't know what hit him! lol

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Made my heart skip a beat
Posted: 5/25/2009 6:17:48 AM
I'm with GentlemanJim....while I'm fine by myself, NOTHING beats a love shared. Life is too short to forfeit it...

Friends and family are great...but my relationship with them is totally different than that with 'a special someone'....and it SHOULD be. I actually feel sorry for those 'love to be single' people.

I have had loving relationships before, and wouldn't trade the memories for anything in the world. I envy the couple talked about in the original post...even if it doesn't last, they are still creating memories, and when we get much older, that may be all we have left.

Jim, I saw 'The notebook'...more than once...and it is one of my favorite movies of all time....

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Lonely vs Alone???
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:00:30 PM
Rosebuds57 just said what I was going to say. I'm ALONE, but I don't feel LONELY at all...no time, as I'm surrounded by family...but I DO miss having a special person around....to be my best friend, share thoughts, opinions, do things together, and yes, the intimacy, and knowing that someone cares as much about you, as you do about him.

I, too, have been in a relationship in the past...where I WASN'T ALONE, but was much LONLIER than if I was. I still found myself going places alone...but since I won't cheat on my man no matter how bad it gets, going places was the pits. If you think you hate going places alone when single, can you imagine going to those places alone when you are not? As a single person, you get flirted with, and there is the occasional date....as an attached person, there isn't even hope.

I wonder if you have to experience a bad lonely relationship, before you can really appreciate being single without feeling lonely? Just a thought....

~DC~
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 155 (view)
 
Love Making for Seniors
Posted: 5/24/2009 3:02:02 PM

Lil brooker said:The most amazing lover of my whole life was over 50. Taught me a thing or two about age and art.

Maeflowers replied:
...You wouldn't happen to have his e-mail address per chance would you? There's one thing that can be said for the more mature man......experience.

...maeflowers


Maeflowers, over 50 is a 'more mature man'??? I'd still consider him a Babe!!!! I'm looking at almost 60, or over 60 these days....

~DC~
 
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