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wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 44 (view)

what's your flake out rate Posted: 9/17/2006 5:58:57 PM
What % of a flake-out rate should you give women that don't even respond to a message you send them? I'd say those are 90%-95% right there. It amazes me how many women say they are looking for a nice guy, or someone to talk to, etc... the opportunity presents itself to them and then they just "read/delete" the message without so much as a "no thank you, not interested"?? So much for manners. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

Please tell my why on earth a thin girl would want to date an obese man Posted: 9/17/2006 5:54:09 PM
That's specifically why I don't like dating women I consider too thin. Seems that women that are too thin or "think" they are too thin or "all that" seem to have pretty nasty attitudes towards other people if they don't fit that "model" image they seem to have in their mind. I actually prefer a woman with a little meat on her bones. I see someone with a figure like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan I just want to go over and force-feed them a 'sammich'. Being too thin isn't any more healthy than being overweight as far as I'm concerned. How many people do you hear about that jog every day of their lives and have really thin or a muscular build drops dead of a heart attack suddenly at 29?. It goes both ways. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

Have any of you guys been stalked? Posted: 7/14/2006 8:53:00 AM
Several years ago, there was a woman I met online, dated a couple of times, was okay, nothing super special. A week after we had first gone out, she was telling me she loved me and that she had informed her parents she was going to move in with me (her and her child). I put the brakes on hard at that point. I am not afraid of commitment, but jeez, after knowing someone for only a week and she is already saying she loves me and is counting on moving in with me?? She would call and wanted to know what I was up to. I told her I wasn't feeling well and was just going to take a nap... stay around the house. I wasn't in the mood for company. 20 minutes later, she shows up on my doorstep... She stayed for about 5 minutes before I sent her away. Unfortunately this was also around the time when I had to undergo some major surgery and was in the hospital for 7-8 days. She came by to visit me in the hospital. I had just hit my little "sleepy juice" pain medication button right before she walked in the door and was drifting off to sleep. I told her I was going to be "out" any moment now and she should come back later. I drifted off for about 10-15 minutes probably, woke up and looked at the foot of my bed, she was still standing at the foot of my bed, in the exact same spot, watching me sleep... that kinda freaked me out! I started thinking she could have disconnected my IV lines or all kinds of things. I told her to go home and that I would let her know when I got out of the hospital. The next day she showed up at the hospital with her 3 year old son in tow... I hated to be rude but I told her this probably wasn't the best place for her to be bringing her son and I had already said I would let her know when I was out. I started getting kinda loud and asked her to please leave. Creepy... She ended up marrying the next guy she went out with. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

Church singles groups? Posted: 7/3/2006 5:34:25 PM
Why is it "desperate" to want to go to a church singles group?? I mean I've tried the method that is "supposed" to be easy, online dating... and that has gotten me 2 steps farther back than when I started it seems. I almost think it is more desperate of the women (and men too) that claim they are looking for someone sincere, honest, good hearted, good sense of humor, a "real" man, etc... and when a person comes to their attention, meeting ALL those qualifications, the message goes unanswered or deleted... to me THAT seems desperate. Expecting the perfect 10 guy (or girl) to answer all your prayers and anyone else lacking just gets thrown by the wayside. Whats the harm in wanting to get out and meet people in public somewhere? It is no different than going to a bar or club to pick someone up is it? At least with a church group you know the other people there are more than likely single and looking for the exact same things you are out of life. That is supposed to be how it is in the online world as well, although I've rarely found that to be the case lately?

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Why don't people answer when contacted? Posted: 7/3/2006 11:11:09 AM
So what do you do about the women that didn't post anything specific or useable in their profile? But it says they are looking for dating or long-term. Some women just seem to want it both ways... :) I guess that is their perogative. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Chuch singles groups? Posted: 7/3/2006 11:06:04 AM
I've been thinking of going to a local church singles group where I live. Problem is, I'm not really all that religious and somehow I feel that would be kinda hypocrytical to attend something like that? My brother has kinda joked with me that God wants all people to find love in the world, so it wouldn't matter if I was all that religious or not. And besides, if it was the singles group angle that brought me there, at least I was going to church now. :) I don't know... I have mixed feelings about it. I'm not having much luck with the online aspect... For some reason the women looking for guys like me aren't really looking for guys like me?? :) I was thinking perhaps a chuch singles group might something I should check out. Anyone else have experiences with church singles groups? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

How Long Would You Like To See That First Message Be? Posted: 7/3/2006 10:27:59 AM
No matter what the overall length of the letter has been, I seem to have had the most success with asking a few direct questions that they can answer if they decide to write me back. Gives a nice starting point for some conversations potentially... they seem more inclined to write and answer the question... hasn't worked 100%, but it is probably some of the better responses I've recieved. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Do you email based on pic or profile? Posted: 7/3/2006 10:23:23 AM
I email based on either one. Pic to me alone is not as important as the profile overall. I have answered ads that have no pic at all if the profile sounds compatible with me. Generally that is what I look for, how well I think I would fit with the person and vice versa, if we have potential things in common. Mostly I look for "red flags" that would indicate they would NOT be a good match for me... and just don't even bother emailing them. So pretty much every woman I send a message to is a potentially good match as far as I'm concerned. A majority of them say they want a nice guy, someone with a sense of humor, all that, and that is me. So I don't feel like I'm deluding myself by writing them or anything. The only time I kinda hesitate sometimes is age range. I know some younger women (24-25) may have a problem going much more than 10 years over, others don't have a problem at all with it, you just never know right up front, but I would rather write and find out than not take the chance. You just never know what might happen. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 36 (view)

Why can't I get a date or meet anyone? Posted: 6/29/2006 9:47:57 AM
Don't be afraid of being alone. Find things to do that make you happy in life. Enjoy what you have. Don't put so much of your happiness into someone else... that is always a recipe for failure if you put everything that makes you happy into someone else being able to provide that for you. The way I started looking at it is make myself happy WITH myself first... if you can't be happy by yourself, it is hard for someone else to make you happy the way you want to be. (does that make sense?) And if you are happy with yourself and THEN you find someone to share your life with, it is that much better, you are... extra happy I guess... :) Just my $.02 Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Good starting emails, then they drop off, do you pursue?? Posted: 6/29/2006 9:29:28 AM
I've had this happen on several occassions... Meet someone nice on POF and have a few really good flurries of emails and communication and everything seems to be on the up and up. Then suddenly they disappear off the face of the earth it seems, you can see they are still active on POF checking their email, but you just don't receive any emails or IM's or anything from them anymore. I used to pursue, but eventually I started thinking that gave off too much of a "needy" vibe. If they weren't interested before for whatever reason, adding desperate or needy on top of that only makes it worse, not better. Now I just figure they may have found someone else they are interested in more or possibly something else is happening in their life that they no longer want to talk. If they want to keep in communication with me, they will make an effort and if not, then obviously they aren't that interested so I shouldn't keep beating a dead horse. Sometimes I'll wait a week or so and then maybe write them one more time to see whats up or if they are still interested in talking, but usually not much more than that. I'm not interested in pursuing someone if it doesn't seem like they are interested in me any longer. So what say you? To pursue or not to pursue when/if the messaging suddenly ceases?

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

What and how much to write in your first contact msg? Posted: 6/29/2006 9:09:23 AM
Only problem with the "real life got in the way" thing is you can see on POF if they have recently accessed their mail on here or not. So it is an obvious give-away that they are still active but just more than likely not interested in still talking to you. That kind of thing used to get to me. Now I'm of the mind, if it is going to work it will work, if it isn't going to work, me fretting about it or trying to force the issue isn't going to make it any better. The second you go off all half****d chasing down someone that isn't really interested in talking to you and asking "why why why..." it just oozes being needy. I don't chase anymore, it has never benefited me in the least to do that with women that didn't just naturally want to talk to me and stay in touch. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

What and how much to write in your first contact msg? Posted: 6/28/2006 8:47:55 AM
I've had semi-better luck if I do the introduction as normal, but then ask 2-3 pretty interesting questions that they may not have heard before to kinda break the ice. Plus it helps get the first few emails off to a good start with some possibly interesting things to talk about. If you just send an intro with a "write me back if you want to talk" you haven't really given them a nugget to respond too. It seems asking an interesting question can bring someone out of their shell a bit more at first. Time will tell if it works out though. My biggest problem is a few good flurries of activity with someone, some good emails... and then they basically drop off the face of the earth and I don't hear from them again. I just figure maybe they found someone else to talk to or something perhaps? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 59 (view)

How many times should you e-mail someone? Posted: 6/27/2006 11:53:07 AM
So what is considered a "reasonable" amount of time? :) I usually wait a week or so and if I haven't heard back and then just politely email again to see if they are interested or not... If I don't hear from them after the 2nd time I usually drop it. Especially if my messages to them were listed as Read/Deleted right off the bat. But I specifically do that because women have told me they don't even respond/think someone is serious unless they email them more than once. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 56 (view)

How many times should you e-mail someone? Posted: 6/26/2006 11:51:13 AM
Actually I've thought once for a long time... But I have had some women not write me back until I've emailed them 2 or 3 times. They told me they "just wanted to know if I was serious about it..." or something to that effect. I always answer every email I get, even if it is just to say "no thanks". It is rude to do otherwise IMHO Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 19 (view)

First messages Posted: 2/23/2006 8:10:23 AM
Just curious how one can tell an "obvious cut and paste"? What does an obvious cut and paste sound like? What do you think gives it away? If I'm describing myself to someone, wouldn't that seem like a "cut and paste"? I mean, how many ways can you describe yourself to someone without it starting to seem so similar in every email you write? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/20/2006 9:41:36 PM
I don't believe she told her dates anything about the book or that she was doing a study... she just did it. And you can't tell me that all of the 100 men that she met, ALL of them were not interested in something more than a fling or a one night stand or something?? That is just the point... for every guy out there just looking to get laid or have casual sex or something, there are probably a few of us "normal" guys that are interested in something more but just get passed over usually. So no... I would not mind in the least if 100 women were to ask me out. I'm still waiting for the first... :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/20/2006 9:37:51 PM
Well a lot of women that wear lots of makeup, wear the latest fashions, etc.. etc... they aren't necessarily trying to attract men. They are trying to look better than other women, or so I've heard. And as for me... a woman doesn't need to do all those things as far as I'm concerned. A woman with a good attitude and good sense of humor goes a long way in my book. Especially over the daft "Paris Hilton's" of the world that couldn't think their way out of a cardboard box.... they get by their entire life on beauty alone. I want someone with a bit-o substance... and just because she isn't wearing Gucci or the latest "insert famous designer dress" here... isn't going to make me less interested if she has a good personality. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Worked on my profile a bit... Posted: 2/16/2006 9:11:22 PM
Hows it sit? Read a lot of other profiles and caught a few good ideas (at least I 'think' they are good ideas) So trying out a few things. Please don't bash too hard. Prefer constructive criticism if possilbe. Thanks for your time, Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

online dating a fad that is now dying ? Posted: 2/16/2006 1:28:22 PM
I think it is just getting bigger and bigger lately. Especially now with the Dr. Phils' of the world getting involved and adding their clout to the sites. I saw another one with Chuck Woolery giving dating advice too. As long as there are lonely people in the world looking for love, these sites are going to thrive!! Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

The Desparation of Internet Males Posted: 2/16/2006 1:20:38 PM
I met a couple of women off YP back to back about a year-and-a-half ago... They both started into the "I love you" phase about 3-4 days after I met them. One was telling her parents that she and her son were going to move out and move in with me about a week after we had met. (news to me??) That was kinda crazy! I was sick one night (really and seriously) when she called me and I explained I just wanted to lay in bed and be alone for the evening, rest and relax and specifically told her "No, don't come over". 30 minutes later she shows up on my doorstep... That was just too much for me... had to tell that "bunny boiler" to leave me alone. :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Ladies: Best profile you ever saw, and what caught your attention? Posted: 2/16/2006 12:54:03 PM
Maybe I should add something to the question? Do you prefer a profile that is straight forward with information you may find important, IE movies, music, stuff like that that a guy likes to see if you are compatible? Or do you prefer a profile that is just quirky and unusual and doesn't really say anything of substance? But it makes you laugh. In other words, informational comparred to comical. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 24 (view)

Online=Hit on offline= not? Posted: 2/15/2006 3:36:54 PM
When you go out IRL, how do you present yourself? Where do you go when you are out? Bars? Clubs? Dancing? Do you make yourself available for guys to approach you at all? Are you usually with a large group of other attractive women? Most guys won't come up and talk to a large group of women (unless they are players and don't give a damn about rejection)... Nothing worse than the "rejection spiral of death" with a group of women at a bar/club... :) How would you want a guy to "pick-up" on you? Just come over and make idle conversation? Buy you a drink? Ask you to dance? What is a good introduction line that would work with you IRL? Just a simple "Hello" or "Is this seat taken?" For a lot of guys it is the introduction line that trips us up. Just some ideas anyway... Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 42 (view)

Why is it so many guys start a conversation with.... Posted: 2/15/2006 3:27:14 PM
Unfortunately... the answer is that sometimes it works for them. If it never worked, they wouldn't continue doing that. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Ladies: Best profile you ever saw, and what caught your attention? Posted: 2/15/2006 3:11:52 PM
Just curious for the ladies out there... What is one of the best profiles you ever saw? What was so special about it? What did they say or how did they present themselves to attract you? Was it something specific towards someone like you or just a general way about them? Try to leave the picture out of the equation... unless that was the only reason you bothered reading their profile I guess. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 33 (view)

To all you women. Posted: 2/15/2006 2:53:55 PM
^^^^^ But then the women would be upset when the men wrote them and didn't put anything specific about their profile in the introduction letter... :) OT> It's like a joke I heard. Husband comes home at 5:30pm and he and his wife just start arguing right off and nothing is going right at all for the next 90 minutes. He finally says to her "Maybe we should just start this over!" and she agrees. He walks out of the house for a minute, then walks back inside. He says "Honey, I'm home..." She says "WHY ARE YOU SO LATE GETTING HOME FROM WORK!! IT IS 7 O'CLOCK ALREADY!!" Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/15/2006 2:48:13 PM
As for the original message, was just making a point about the difference there is for men and women. Men seem to do most of the emailing and proactive effort to find a date, women just have to sift through it. For all the women that say they can never find someone, just say yes to one of the next 5 guys that writes them. You never know what good you may find unless you take the chance. That woman that wrote the book said yes to the next 100 guys that wrote her. She ended up finding a husband out of the deal. For the comment you were posting about was towards the post immediately preceeding what I wrote. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/15/2006 4:26:53 AM
That's actually very true... That is what I'm currently doing, just enjoying myself... doing my own thing... having fun living my own life. I figure if someone comes along, cool, all the better. But if you "depend" on someone else for 100% of your happiness, you will never be happy. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/14/2006 4:03:46 PM
She ended up meeting her husband out of the deal I think as well. She wasn't looking to get married or even fall in love. But it happened. Just shows you ladies what can happen if you just give some guys a chance. ;) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

Anyone checked out Year of Yes? Posted: 2/14/2006 4:02:36 PM
Well the point is that many women could have 100 dates just like she did... It all depends on how picky they are about it. But that is just it, they can be picky about it. How many messages do you two get every day from guys?? True they are not all keepers, but there are probably more than a few diamonds in the rough every week. And I know they aren't going to be "knocking down my door" anytime soon. I just think it is kind of a double standard. Heck, I'll write a book about 100 dates, but it would take me 20 years to write it... :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 26 (view)

To all you women. Posted: 2/14/2006 3:05:31 PM
I always make sure I have a few things in common and there are no "red flags" before I contact someone. Just saves me the time and trouble of someone that is more than likely not going to respond anyway. Not saying the selected ones do either usually?? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Anyone checked out "Year of Yes"? Posted: 2/14/2006 3:00:27 PM
Some woman decided to say yes to the next 100 men that asked her out on a date and then wrote a book about it. Don't us men wish that we had the opporunity to be able to "just say yes" and have a date happen that easily? I have to work my butt off to get just a few dates usually when I put some effort into it. And I don't think I've ever been contacted by a woman for a date unless I contacted her first. I think that perfectly shows how different the dating game is for men and women. Men usually have to do all the asking and the women just have to say yes or no for the most part. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

Ever met someone at the wrong time in your life? Posted: 2/13/2006 3:12:49 PM
Seems like just about every woman I have ever met online I've met at the "wrong time of her life"... They have either just gotten out of a bad relationship, or aren't really looking right now, just want friends... etc... And low-and-behold I become friends with them just long enough for them to get over it and move on to someone else to start an actual relationship with them. Funny how that always seems to happen to nice guys like me?? :) I'm always the in-between guy or transition guy. Or as I say: Always the friend, never the lover. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

Just found out Yahoo is cheating me?? Posted: 2/12/2006 3:36:05 PM
Unfortunately I'm recently becoming soured on Match as well. Did you know if someone sends you a message on Match and you are not a member, they force you to join in order to read the message??? That seems kinda bogus to me! Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Just found out Yahoo is cheating me?? Posted: 2/12/2006 3:21:29 PM
No wonder I'm not getting any responses there? I just discovered on Yahoo pers. that none of my messages are being sent out to people? That floors me. No wonder I haven't had very many responses to any messages I've sent out. I set up an alternate account and have tried to send messages there but they are not going. I can't even send eye contacts. I can send an eye contact from my alternate account to my paid account just fine. Seems ridiculous to be paying $25 a month to not even be able to communicate with women? That's kinda screwed up if you ask me. No wonder Yahoo and Match are being sued lately! Anyone else have similar poor experiences there? Just curious. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Which type of introduction letter are you more likely to answer? Posted: 2/11/2006 7:12:08 PM
This question is geared more towards women of course since I'm a man... But which type of introduction letter would you be more likely to respond back to? Just a short "Howdy, I would like to talk to you more..." or a more descriptive introduction, talking about myself a bit, a few things that I like and hoping to hear from you soon. Would a more descriptive introduction seem more eager in a way and thus be disregarded or discounted more quickly? Or would a short line just indicate the guy is phishing for a quick response without having to put much effort into it. I suppose that leads to a second question, if the guys picture is not attractive to you, do you just not bother answering at all no matter what they said? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Ever checked out the profiles of your competition? Posted: 2/11/2006 6:57:42 PM
When someone "claims" that they get lots of responses from women, I check out their ad to see if it is a valid claim. See if there is anything special in their ad that would catch someones eye. Figure if there are any secrets to be had in that regard, I may as well use them. Usually they turn out to be full of hot air, just phishing for responses to their posts. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

On the subject of Hair - Straight or Curls - what turns you on most? Posted: 2/11/2006 6:50:50 PM
Personally I'm attracted to shorter hair styles on women. The "tomboy" type look. "Page Boy" haircut. But that is just personal preference for me. I know other guys like a womans hair to be long. I guess maybe I'm not the norm in that regard. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do guys usually always state Not looking for a Serious Relationship Posted: 2/11/2006 6:46:25 PM
That's just it... I hear on Oprah all the time of women having a hard time finding a man that will commit... I'm having just the opposite problem. Women that I talk with are always saying "I'm not looking for anything serious right now..." I can't find a woman that is willing to commit. Maybe I should go on Oprah??? :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

How old is this Guy??? Posted: 2/11/2006 6:44:37 PM
From my experience with women that I've talked to... if they have been in a bad relationship with a guy that beats them/berates them, treats them like garbage. If they break up with him and then get back together with him. It only gets worse. Problem is, the guy knows that he can act like a jerk and the woman will take him back even though he has done that... then sky is the limit it seems. Most people have a "base" personality for the most part, nice, or not so nice... when you get to that fundamental level, that is who the person is... that will not change. I'm continually amazed when I watch shows like Cops where the guy has beaten the living tar out of his girlfriend, bloodied her lip or cut her or something awful. And when the policemen are taking him away, you can hear her yelling in the background "Don't tayke hym awaye... Aye love hiym"... it floors me. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Not date someone because of their name? Posted: 2/11/2006 7:48:45 AM
I met a woman online and we started having a great chat conversation. Lasted about 10 minutes til I asked her what her name was and she mine. She said she didn't want to talk to me anymore because my name was Bryan. She had an ex-boyfriend named "Brian" and she just didn't think she could handle talking to another one. Can anyone say baggage?? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

My new saying......... Posted: 2/10/2006 7:17:31 AM
One problem some people have is they get an image of what they want at that moment... Then someone like that comes along or someone with similar characteristics, they discover that isn't EXACTLY what they wanted and change their mind a bit. I think what people want out of a partner in life changes over time. Think of the type of person you were looking for a year ago. They may not be the exact same person you are looking for currently due to experiences you've had in your life over the last year. I think you just have to set up a "core" of what you want to find in someone and those particular things should never change... but the other things about them will never be exactly what you wanted. If you found someone that was everything to you all the time, you would be bored by that eventually. It is the differences in two people that make a relationship special, two people complimenting each other in many ways. Kind of gives creedence to the saying "opposites attract". In some cases that is very true. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

My new saying......... Posted: 2/10/2006 7:11:51 AM
One I heard that I liked: I know Jesus still loves me, He's just decided to see other people... :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

Anyone here in and around the Wichita area? Posted: 2/10/2006 4:22:15 AM
Couple places I really like... Margarita's is pretty cool... love the band Lotus, they have been together forever. Usually an older crowd and the food is really good. Another cool place is Flashbacks. If you get on their website and email them, you can set up a "Friday After-work Party". They send you an invitation (I always have them send it via email) and then you just pass that ticket around to anyone you want. You (and whoever else) shows up on Friday from 4:30-8:30 with ticket in hand, you get in the club for free, and they have a 20' buffet all set up with some pretty good food. They generally have pretty good drink specials too and I love the atmosphere there especially. The age range is good too since I think their minimum age is like 23 or something. Grahams is a pretty cool place, but unfortunately it seems to turn into a "sea of black X's" on Friday and Saturday nights... Kids 18-20 are allowed in and have a black X put on their hands to make sure they can't buy drinks. So the number of underage kids seems to swell... And picking up on teenage girls barely out of High School isn't exactly my idea of forward thinking... :) Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 32 (view)

Has anyone tried speed dating? Posted: 2/8/2006 2:56:08 PM
^^^^ Well, you've to got think about this. It is a similar environment as going to a bar or club where most of the women (or men) there are just there to have a good time, not necessarily there to find a suitable partner to date or whatever. At a Speed Dating event, everyone there (supposedly) is of a mindset to "find" someone special to date or become friends with. I actually liked going into a situation realizing that all of the women I was meeting I had a definate potential of becoming something more with... you don't ever get that feeling at a club or bar. True none of them ended up being positive, but that is because I don't think where I live that people are open minded enough to really try something like this. Their expectations were way to high. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 73 (view)

advice for men who mass email every women on pof in their area Posted: 2/8/2006 1:08:17 PM
I tend to send a nice introduction to women I'm interested in talking to more. There are only so many variations you can have on describing yourself to someone, so what is the harm in having parts of your email (description of yourself) canned in a way? It is pretty much just a variation on your profile, at least what I send. Kind of like a proactive profile, putting it out in front of them. I figure if they are interested enough to read a bit about me and respond back, that's fine. If they are just going to ignore what I send them and assume I'm just some schmo sending emails to every woman on there, I guess that is their deal. I don't send a note to just ANY woman out there. If I feel there is some compatibility, I will send that person a note just to say hi. Ultimately it is up to them to get back with me anyway so I figure the initial email is just an introduction of myself anyway. If there are red flags or things I definately sense a woman would not get along with me, I don't bother sending anything to them. I don't put anything crass such as hide the banana or anything infantile like that, I'm just straight up, Hi, how are you today? Some things about me and I would be interested in talking with you. What else are we supposed to put in an introduction? Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 19 (view)

What is there to do in kansas Posted: 2/8/2006 9:14:40 AM
I live down in Wichita. There is a bit of nightlife here downtown, but not a whole-lot... For fun I enjoy heading up to Olathe to go to the Great Plains Mall or to one of the other big malls up in Kansas City, or even the Ameristar casino for a fun Saturday day trip. Been thinking of heading down south towards Tonkaway OK to check out the new casino down there. Be nice when the politicians finally get off their duffs and put a casino down here in the south central region of Kansas. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Quotes that I live by. Posted: 2/8/2006 9:07:20 AM
One of my favorites that I apply to online dating (and others should too)... "Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is??" So many people are too timid about taking chances on talking to someone or something. If more people took that advice, I have a feeling there would be less lonely people in the world. And there is always Socrate's: "I drank what???" Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Anyone here in and around the Wichita area? Posted: 2/8/2006 9:00:47 AM
Fellow Wichitan here... Unfortunately not a terrible whole lot to do in Wichita either... although Old Town is picking up a bit. Wish all the politicians would get off their butts and get a hotel/casino resort down in this area of Kansas. It is amazing how much local revenue ends up going up to Kansas City or down to the Oklahoma border for entertainment reasons. I think a new casino is being built just South of Ark City now across the state line, I keep hearing it mentioned on the radio anyway. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 24 (view)

Has anyone tried speed dating? Posted: 2/8/2006 8:50:20 AM
Where I live it was popular a couple years back. Not so much anymore. Just keep in mind if you do it, it is just an introduction only. You can't expect to know 100% about a person right off the bat in 5-8 minutes of conversation. If you want to know more about someone, you need to mark a yes (and hope they do the same)... So if you are on the fence about someone, be sure and mark a yes so at least you have the opportunity to find out more. The more open minded you are, the more fun the night will be. It is a great way to work on your interpersonal skills, that is for sure. For some guys especially, sitting there talking to beautiful women sitting right across from you that you wouldn't ordinarily even walk up to... it can be a big ego boost. Have fun and good luck. Bryan

wiles_1

Joined: 1/8/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Speed Dating...... Posted: 2/8/2006 8:44:37 AM
They had that a couple years back here where I live and I went to 5 events locally. I participated in 4 of them and actually helped run 1 of the events. The important thing is keep an open mind. If you are on the fence about someone, go ahead and mark them as a yes so you can find out more. If you say no to everyone, you aren't going to have a very good time overall. If you only pick out one particular guy to say yes to, he may not say yes to you and then you will feel like it was a waste of time. Just because you are saying yes there doesn't mean you are automatically going to be dating them for the rest of your life or something, this is simply an introduction, thats all. You have to say yes if you want to find out more. Overall it is a really fun time and good way to work on interpersonal skills. Hope this helps. Have fun. Bryan

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