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Thread: Is being alone hard for you?

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Is being alone hard for you? Posted: 12/12/2006 7:06:14 PM
my daughter will be graduating in another year & half. Other than her & my dog, I don't really have any close family. My parents are both deceased & my brother is absorbed in his own life. I have my writing & other hobbies, so I am happy, but I'd just like to share some of that happiness with someone. Not only that, but in a small town such as this, there is no escort service! I need the emotion & that can't be bought. talk to you guys soon!

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Is being alone hard for you? Posted: 12/10/2006 3:32:11 PM
My brother was married for 2 years & has been single for almost 24. He says he enjoys it & will never go through marriage ever again. After 2 failed marriages myself, I'm not sure I'll ever get married again, but my greater fear is being alone & enjoying it. Don't get me wrong I can and do have fun on my own, but there is that void that gnaws at me when it gets to be too long without companionship. I don't mind watching movies with my dog, but it's definitely not the same as cuddling up & talking with a woman.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Is being alone hard for you? Posted: 12/9/2006 8:48:11 PM
I hate being alone. Especially on the weekends that my daughter goes to her Mom's. I met a wonderful lady a little over a week ago & I've spent a lot of time with her & her kids. I am worried that it won't last & then I get paranoid that I'm going to say or do something wrong that will end things quicker than later. No matter what relationship I'm in, I always seem to be waiting for that other shoe to drop. Is that because I've been hurt so many times before that is my conditioned response? Am I reacting like Pavlov's dog? How do I get passed this, so I can have a long relationship without the overwhelming worry? I keep thinking I'd love to be in this long term, but I try to reason to myself that I'll live if she drops me like a hot potato tomorrow or next week. I keep preparing myself for it even though she tells me repeatedly that she enjoys our time together. Any thoughts, advice or comments are greatly appreciated.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 266 (view)

Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash? Posted: 11/10/2006 8:55:18 PM
I learned that the hard way. I met somone a few years ago online & the first thing she asked me was,"Do you have your own house, or do you rent?" It kind of shook my radar a little, but I unwisely brushed off that feeling. after month of talking online, we met in person where I work & she wanted to go out that night & she said she'd come back to my town & meet me at my house. I gave her directions & she went right from meeting me to go see my house. It didn't take long & she was telling me about the "signs" she saw about us being a perfect match. I initially resisted, but after a couple weeks, I was convinced that she was right. Once that happened, there was no slowing her down. She wasn't going to put off the marriage thing for one minute longer than possible. I wanted to wait at least a year, she wanted less than 2 months! I stupidly gave in & on the way to our wedding, we stopped by her house to pick some clothes for the honeymoon & it was all locked up due to forclosure! That was just one of the reasons she was in such a hurry to get married. But, yet again I stupidly gave in & went though with it. I took it as long as I could, but after 3 years I couldn't handle it anymore & now the divorce is final & she went on to look for hubby # 4. I even tried marriage counseling for 2 of the 3 years we were together & that didn't work either. I chalk it up to a learning experience & decided life's way too short to be bitter or miserable about it. I won't let it ruin any future relationships. What's 3 years out of a possible hundred or so. right?

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 171 (view)

Your Worst Kissing Experience Posted: 11/10/2006 8:35:19 PM
this a funny story...one night a girl & I were making out quite intensely & we took a break. My dog hops up on her lap & sticks his tongue in her mouth, & then pulls back & looks at her & wags his tail. She actually laughed & said looked like he wanted to know if he did it better than I did. She gave me higher marks & he never did that again!

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 374 (view)

can non-pot smokers handle pot smokers? Posted: 11/10/2006 8:22:39 PM
I recently dated a wonderful woman, & we hit it off right away. Our kids liked each other & it was great right up until the moment she told me she smoked pot. I just couldn't handle it. I've never even been remotely tempted to ever try it & I don't want to expose my daughter to it. I know what some of you are thinking, that she probably already has been, but it's different to be exposed to it at a concert or by peers than by someone you're parent is dating.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

On and offline dating difficulties Posted: 11/10/2006 8:15:48 PM
I live in a very small town & since I don't drink I don't go to bars. So it's very hard to meet anyone locally. It's nice to finally know that I'm not the only guy on this site that deosn't get replied too, though. I thought it was just me. Thankfully I'm a patient man. In the mean time, I'll just post away & have fun.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Please reveiw my profile Posted: 11/10/2006 7:56:46 PM
I did ask her, says she's to busy with her boyfriend. "You're on your own, Dad. Maybe I can help you in a few days." What a sweetie!

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

does this drive anyone else crazy??? Posted: 11/10/2006 7:46:08 PM
I've had few people ask me to chat on Yahoo, but I didn't have it, & kind of like the thought of getting to know someone a little better on here first. I wrote back & forth to a lady nearly every day for a month, & finally decided to get messenger so we could communicate in real time. We did that for a couple of times & with our differeing schedules, we went back to posting on here. We each found a good friend in each other. Whether we ever meet in person or not.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Please reveiw my profile Posted: 11/10/2006 7:34:40 PM
I have no idea why my pics posted like that, they weren't in that position when I uploaded them. I'm definitely not that batty. Nor is Puggy.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

The one-liner that killed all hope for a second chance. Posted: 11/10/2006 7:26:57 PM
I met a lady online a few years ago & she seemed quite normal. We talked on the phone pretty much every day for 2 weeks before we met for lunch & shopping date. The first store we went to, she went right for the jewelry department & wanted to pick out an engagement ring, saying, "Jesus told me we'd be married within the month!" I took her right back home & took off like a bat out of hell as soon as she was far enough away from the car!

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Please reveiw my profile Posted: 11/10/2006 5:53:27 PM
I've been on the site for nearly 3 months & haven't had many responses at all. Actually 2 so far. What should I do to improve my profile? Am I too picky? Or is there just not that many ladies in my general area? Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated! Sincere thanks in advance.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

How do you choose between your head and your heart? Posted: 11/8/2006 8:29:04 PM
another thought I forgot to add, you can overthink & overanalyze things to the point you blur the line between heart & mind. That was part of my problem the last time too. "Gee...this decision FEELS like it's a heart-made one. But is it really?" "She told me that all of the signs are there that this is THE one for both of us." I hope my late night ramblings are helping somebody & not annoying or boring anyone. I am nowhere near an expert on this at all. Good night & have fun & a shiny tomorrow.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

How do you choose between your head and your heart? Posted: 11/8/2006 8:22:32 PM
Sometimes you have to listen to those who know you best as well as yourself. I met someone a few years ago online & my head said take it slow & she & my heart said this is it! My daughter, my friends, relative, even customers at the store I work at said, "Don't do it, you're heading for trouble!" I didn't listen to any of them or even myself. I ignored every blaring, high pitched signal & got nailed for it. We were married for three hellish years & we even took marriage counseling for over 2 years & it didn't help. The divorce was just finalized yesterday & I at this point, it will be a long time before I ever consider marriage again. But it will definitely NOT be rushed into. That's the strongest argument there is for "friends first, & get to know the REAL person" I was married for 3 years & didn't know the real her until she was out of the house. I'll definitely listen to my daughter's & every one else's input & hopefully not mess up on this grand scale ever again. I'd rather have many lifelong friends than have another ex, even an ex girlfriend. On a happier note, I baked a cake tonight! No reason, just wanted to.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 11/8/2006 8:10:08 PM
I have been on POF for nearly 3 months now & have written a few ladies in my area & gotten replies from 4, & 3 of those weren't interested because they'd already found someone & the last one & I have become e-mail pals. Is it my profile? or is it the fact there's really not that many women in my corner of the pond? I live in a small town & there's really not that many available women in my age group that aren't already taken. Any & all advice and opinions will be appreciated!

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

This is the greatest advice I will ever give anyone. Posted: 11/8/2006 8:01:53 PM
The Moody Blues had a song called, "Thinking is the best way to travel" on their "In Search of the Lost Chord" album. I first heard it 25 years ago & I still think of that as one of the most influential things I've heard in my life. Borders & limits don't exist in your own mind unless you create them yourself. No one can take your dreams away from you.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 374 (view)

full-time single dads Posted: 11/8/2006 7:54:24 PM
I've been a full-time single dad for almost 7 years now. My daughter goes to her Mother's every other weekend. I work at a grocery store right across the street from my daughter's school & four blocks from home & I have every weekend off, so she & I spend a lot of time together. Even though she's 16 & has a boyfriend, she still wants me around as much as possible. Still, it would be nice for adult companionship on occasion. Especially when the 3 of us go out to eat or shopping, I feel like the odd man out. Thank God, I'm patiently waiting.

Joined: 8/15/2006

Msg: 909 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 11/8/2006 7:47:44 PM
I do read whole profiles, usually at least twice, just in case I might have missed something. The profiles are written for a reason, otherwise it would be just a pic & checklist. All surface & no substance. I am not looking for "meat": but a whole person, just as I am a whole person, not just the visuals.

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