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Author
Thread: How to recognize an Abusive person?
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
36 (
view
)
How to recognize an Abusive person?
Posted:
4/19/2006 7:40:09 AM
Anything that makes them do something stupid is "always" someone elses fault- if you happen to be in a relationship and he/she punches a hole in the wall its "your" fault according to them.
They have a tendancy to quit alot of jobs-they were trying to make me do something unethical, they treated me like a slave- are a couple of excuses Ive heard
They will tell you they would really prefer you dont go someplace(ie mall, concert, near their ex)-if you go against their wishes you will go thru a 2 hour interigation and be told you are a lier(sp?)
They will get upset over small things that most people only get mildly upset over- OMG you spilled soda on my cheap cassette tape that even tho I could record again easily I have to take the time to do it all over again! How stupid can you be!
Abusers like to ween you as quickly as possible from friends and family-the more they have you away from those who love you the better they can convince you that no one ever will love you the way they will as worthless as you are.
Those who are abusers/professional BSers/mean people feel the need to control the others in their life, they will work slowly or quickly depending on how well you are accepting their control over everything you do. If you confront them on a story theyve told and question the authenticity of it they can get very upset that you dont believe them and then that changes to anger if you continue to question them, from there it can go into giving you major screaming guilt trips to throwing things to hitting you.
Absolutly get away from an abusive person the moment you recognize them, if you dont recognize it talk to "your" friends not his. His friends will be afraid to say anything against him but your friends will want to protect you from the A-hole your dating.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
44 (
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ex wants to wait to get his stuff back...
Posted:
4/18/2006 6:54:43 AM
Al_Bear has it right, if nothing else plop his box of stuff at his apartment door, if you realy feel the need to leave a note just say I waited heres your stuff. Wait=wait until I can find out if I can get someone else before I make my decision.
With no job, feeling depressed and living home with your parents you need to focus on yourself and get "you" straightend out, no use waiting for a guy who is going to be looking for a booty call when he cant get someone else. You might feel you care for this guy but I dont see a 3 year on again off again relationship as a relationship, its a on again off again convenience wich is a total pain in the butt and in no way satisifying(pardon my poor spelling).
Work on yourself, school, job, start jogging or something but at 22 its not like you dont have alot of choices, you are really limiting yourself to what you can get out of life so stop wondering what his definition of "wait" means, consider your stuff gone and get new and better stuff, then figure out what it was that made you happy before you even met him and make yourself happy again.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
7 (
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A question for women ....
Posted:
9/20/2005 5:55:13 AM
Ditto to what Carol said. If you were bad why would I want to do it again. If I wanna do it again its because I want you that bad, I wasnt done yet or I just want to touch my man in every place I can before I fall asleep.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
174 (
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Tattoos on women turn on or turn off? just curious
Posted:
9/13/2005 6:36:02 AM
Lots of opinions given here but since I dont care really what somone elses opinion of what I like is summed up to, no offense taken.
I like mine, I have them posted, cover them when I feel like it and show em off when I feel like it. Do I think it makes me look slutty? Heck no, Im perfectly comfy in myself to not worry about it and since my DH is the one who payed for them I would have to assume he likes them too.
I like my tattoos, I like seeing them on men and women alike and if I see one that catches my interest I dont hesitate to ask them about it. Ive met lots of really nice people just because of that.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
149 (
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Tattoos on women turn on or turn off? just curious
Posted:
9/9/2005 6:12:08 AM
Not into women myself but I do think they are sexy on them. Love them on a guy. I have two, just got my second one this July on my lower back. Yes they have a meaning to me especialy the one on my back since my DD helped me design it. She wants to own her own tattoo shop, not going to complain there, shes talented and it will give her a great goal to work towards.. A small buisness owner. Cant beat that with a stick.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
1 (
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Untitled
Posted:
9/6/2005 8:15:36 AM
My heart still aches for what we had
as I lay in bed next to you
as I feel the heat from your body
I want to touch you
I want to feel the way you come to me in your sleep
to rest your head near my heart
feel your breathe warm my skin
My heart still aches with the need I have of you
to know Im the only one you see at night
to see the love in your eyes as you pull me close
to hear you say you love me
to hear your voice call to me
My heart aches
it breaks when you see someone else
it breaks when you give someone else what you have only given me
to know that we will never have
us
again
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
6 (
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Your getting older, what do you miss the most from your youth...
Posted:
8/4/2005 1:28:08 PM
my metabolizm. Oh but I miss being able to eat all that I wanted and not have a gut to worry about. SIGH
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
17 (
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Abused....and it still hurts :(
Posted:
8/4/2005 1:00:23 PM
I was in a relationship for six years with someone who said they loved me too. He changed from a man I could be proud of to someone I was afraid of almost overnight. Sometimes I wished it were a drug or alcohol problem but it wasnt.
He had a need to control me from what I wore to who Iwould see including my family, when I finaly ran with our 1 year old daughter I knew I could never go back, he wanted to talk to me on the phone and I refused. Thats when he got really angry and took it to court because he figured the only way to get back at me for not obeying him was to take our daughter wich by the way he had started abusing also. He did not like the truth in the letter I sent to the courts about why I did not agree to him having custody of her and so did not show up to court.
After years of getting told how stupid I was, good for nothing and other harder slurs in trying to make me feel like nothing I was terriffied. I knew if he found me he would have killed me. Not because I was this awful person but because he no longer had complete control over me.
Its been 15 years since I left him, I finaly found out a couple of years ago that I am not afraid of him anymore. I talked to him when I tried to call his mother to see how she was doing and he answered the phone. I told him I didnt need him, I had everything I needed and I am now a "B". I was honest with everything I told him and not nasty. I said what I needed to say and since then its felt like Ive gotten the gorilla off my back.
Yes your feeling normal stuff right now, youve been thru hell and I wish I could say it goes away quickly but it dosnt. Even tho your self esteem is intact it takes a long time to get past the horrible things that were done to you by someone who was supposed to love you. It will take a long time, sometimes you might feel the need to go to counseling but your biggest and best allies are your friends and family. They will be there for you when you need to vent, cry and just rage at the injustice. That is part of the healing. Talking about it is the best thing you can do, if your up to it ,keep a journal for when you feel the need to write it down wether as a letter, a poem or mindless words written at your most emotional.
Remember to be true to yourself and your kids, dont change or let him and his childish ways get to you because its been proven to me time and again what goes around comes around. He will at some point have to deal with the damage he has created, unfortunatly not as soon as you would want it but it will happen.
Sorry this is so long but I want you still to know that he is not the only one like this, let your kids see how strong you are in being yourself and that being a good person has some great rewards. Do not forget your past experiences but learn and grow from them and be happy that you are no longer with him. His girlfriend now might one day come to you for advise on what he did to you because she will be going thru the same thing. She will be just as amazed as you that it seems like someone was looking in your windows and watching your life.
Kudos to you.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
5 (
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Sexuality
Posted:
12/6/2004 6:05:16 AM
Just this past year I learned alot about myself. I bought my very first toys, did my first real exploring, tried things I always wanted to sexualy but either was too scared or just afraid to bring it up for whatever reason.
Last night after a pretty heated session with the hubby he asked me what is different now that Im doing all these things that just months ago I wouldnt even have considered. I didnt have a real answer for him. The only thing I could realy think of was 1. my libido kicked into high gear, 2. the toys helped me(bymyself and going hhmmmm) 3. felt like we were in a rut and wanted to try all those things I had been thinking of
Im alot more open than I was just ten years ago, more sure of myself and what I can do for him and for me and not afraid to say "hey lets try this".
For the first time in my life Ive been called a freak, LOL, not complaining one bit, just never considered myself a freak in bed and neither did he, but we arnt complaining.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
53 (
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Interracial Dating....
Posted:
11/19/2004 12:43:55 PM
I race to the bedroom after the kids are in bed
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
22 (
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FAT GUYS ARE FINE TILL HER FRIENDS FIND OUT...(-;
Posted:
11/18/2004 12:56:53 PM
Oh my, I really should swallow what Im drinking before reading a new post.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
20 (
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)
FAT GUYS ARE FINE TILL HER FRIENDS FIND OUT...(-;
Posted:
11/18/2004 12:11:19 PM
Oh I wish I had the guts to pull something like that, that had to be hysterical!
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
22 (
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)
So where were YOU when man first walked on the moon?
Posted:
11/16/2004 7:10:16 AM
I was 2 so I was probrably chasing one of the dogs around the house or wondering why the heck I needed to use the potty when I had a perfectly good diaper on.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
6 (
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)
Do I have a choice other than talk to myself??
Posted:
11/16/2004 7:02:44 AM
I think I may be in trouble, I have two way conversations with myself all the time.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
50 (
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How do women feel if their partner visits brothels?
Posted:
11/11/2004 3:18:59 PM
I know I would be crushed, then mad as all get out and he should hope that he catches me in the former and not the latter mood. Im not violent except to sqirrels who get in my gardens and people who dont pick up after thier dogs and my foot finds it, but that would be such a whiplashing of my trust and what I thought we had that he would be hurting for a while, and Im not talking about his wallet either.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
35 (
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best ways to get even with your ex
Posted:
11/10/2004 4:01:08 PM
heehee
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
8 (
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MOST WOMEN ALWAYS TRY TO CHANGE MEN.......WHY?
Posted:
11/10/2004 3:55:40 PM
The only thing I wanted to change and did was him holding my head under the covers when he passed gas. That was not funny!
I have as many flaws as he does if not more, thats what makes life funny sometimes, when you mix em up and see what happens next. If I changed him he wouldnt be the person I fell in love with.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
33 (
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best ways to get even with your ex
Posted:
11/10/2004 3:52:55 PM
rockarollawoman, Ive done that for guys, shoot DH did that for a girl at a club he worked at, I was standing there just watching everything with DH(bouncer) and this girl comes up...long story short DH made the guy leave when he told him look this is my wife(me) and this is my gf(her). The guy figured he lost big time when this guy had his wife and his girlfriend in his arms and we were happy about it. It was a hoot.
Oh and I did give the police specific directions to where the ex was living too, does that count?
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
28 (
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best ways to get even with your ex
Posted:
11/10/2004 4:47:16 AM
I had mine arrested for breaking his probation, they picked him up in Delaware and took him back to Maryland . It just happend to be over Thanksgiving weekend(seriously, the police decided that), but that was just an eye opener to let him know he couldnt walk all over me and beat me up anymore.
He had a much much harder time with the fact that I found someone else that I was happier with than I ever was with him, that really burned his butt to the point thta he told people that he beat my new bf up at a fair, that was funny too since we never even went to the place that this supposedly happend.
Yup agree with the others, when they see you happy with someone else that, is the best revenge.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
4 (
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please try and help me to get my best mate to understand
Posted:
11/9/2004 1:33:11 PM
Whether you remain friends or better than friends really isnt her buisness after she said her piece. Just because he has a child with his ex is no reason to exclude him anyway. What has that got to do with anything. Have that talk with her and keep that gag handy, they even have those soft balls to stick in her mouth so you wont have to worry about her cracking her teeth when she grits them.
By all means do what you feel is right for you.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
12 (
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)
FAT GUY'S ARE FINE TILL HER FRIENDS FIND OUT...(-;
Posted:
11/9/2004 12:20:41 PM
Happy Birthday MrSherman!!!!
and Snoug your right about those dancing nanas
can never have too many dancing nanas
and this guy
he makes me think things I shouldnt be thinkin. LOL
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
4 (
view
)
FAT GUY'S ARE FINE TILL HER FRIENDS FIND OUT...(-;
Posted:
11/9/2004 4:47:23 AM
I used to go for the skinny guys too but Ive been with my big guy for 14 years. Hes still the only one for me.
I have noticed that I dont look at skinny guys the same way anymore, they are still very attractive to me, some can make me drool like I left the faucet on but Ive noticed that I will look at the bigger guys in a more sexual way that keeps me wondering for a long time after.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
5 (
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)
Is there sex after marriage?
Posted:
11/8/2004 12:26:22 PM
Oh my yes it can get to be routine. Alot of times routine is just what you want/need. Sometimes you need something thats gonna make you want to install handles on some section of the wall or cieling. Knowing that I can ask him or he can ask me to try something new or different and not worry if the bondage leather is gonna start appearing around the house is nice to know too.
Everyone at some point in thier relationship is going to drive over the mountains or cruise across the plains so to speak. Its a journey and along the way you find things that are comfortable and things that make you catch your breath, some things you would always want with you and some things that you wouldnt go near again with a taser and a 10 foot pole.
But sex outside the marriage for me is a no-no unless its something that you both are interested in and can agree to AND do together. Me I dont like to share.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
3 (
view
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Is there sex after marriage?
Posted:
11/8/2004 11:45:42 AM
Hmmm. Ive found that Im much more willing to try new, different, unusual stuff with my hubby than I ever did with someone I was dating. I also find that he is more willing to try new, different, kinky, unusual stuff after the years we've been together. To me more comfortable means more open wich means we both get more out of it and if something embarrasing happens we can laugh it off knowing that tonight Im gonna rock his world, again.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
158 (
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Re: Why do women post pictures of their breasts in thier profile?
Posted:
11/8/2004 11:26:00 AM
My boobs arnt showing!! Thank God for faux fur! This was just a fun pic and it showed off my tat. But if its offensive then yes Id take it(the pic) off. I thought posting this was actualy pretty daring for me. I dont care personaly who posts boob pics, as long as they arnt raunchy like in some sites Ive seen.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
17 (
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are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted:
11/8/2004 5:56:24 AM
I dated a guy with a son when I was about 17-18. loved the guy loved the kid and knew that his son had priority, if we couldnt do something because his son was sick then we didnt go out, it wasnt a big deal. I didnt have any kids at the time but had not trouble dating this man. His ex gf on the other hand could have driven over a cliff and I would have left her there. She was extremely jealous that he was dating someone, even tho she was too. She actualy slapped this man in the face when he was feeding his son a corndog. GGRRR. I'd seen some of the stuff she had done personaly so I know she was violent, its sad that people to this day still use thier kids as barganing tools and such.
Even with that experience if I had had the chance to go out with a man I liked with kids I would have done it, no qualms here, but the opportunity never presented itself.
It is the same as when a woman has a child/children. It can be a personal preference, but be honest up front, PLEASE, do you really want to go out with someone, get to really like her and then have her dump you because you already have kids?
Im sure when I was dating I had alot of guys not ask me out just because they knew I had a daughter, for whatever reason they chose Im glad they didnt.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
32 (
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Can a successful single mother ever find anyone?
Posted:
11/8/2004 5:12:09 AM
When the hubby and I met I had my one year old daughter, I was more nervous than he was. It took him five times to ask me out before I said yes because my first thoughts were about my daughter and I didnt want to get hurt when he decided that he didnt want an instant family. Yes he knew I had a kid before he asked me out and he still wanted to go out with or without her with us. We've been together for over 14 years now.
My sister had 6 kids when she left her piece of dooky ex husband. She and her current husband have been together for over 15 years now and they had two more kids together.
It is definatly a personal decision not only for the single mother, as she has to do not only what is best for her but what is best for the child wich is a big issue in itself, but if the guy decides thats not what he wants, an instant family/to help raise someone elses child, Im not going to hold that against him, thats fine and Id much rather know about that before we get any kind of relationship going. Anyone I dated after my daughter was born knew before we did anything that I had a child, if you decided you didnt want to go out with me, thats fine, will I be hurt a little because of that, maybe, but at least you were honest with me and yourself and didnt start a relationship that you would regret and end up possibly being very unhappy because you went against your feelings.
Yes a single parent can find someone, absolutly.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
12 (
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where is the romance..or why I don't want to have sex with you!
Posted:
11/6/2004 9:29:21 AM
jimi,any time thats happend to me my co-workers and friends get a little green eyed. Ive never heard anyone call it cheezy and yes we would tell all of our friends who in turn want to meet the man who just did such a sweet thing and cant wait to see what he does next.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
11 (
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where is the romance..or why I don't want to have sex with you!
Posted:
11/6/2004 9:26:25 AM
agentpk it unfortunate that we see it everywhere. I for one have taught my son to hold doors and he loves the attention he gets from all the ladies who see him do this as he says "Please go ahead". Not bad for a 12 year old I think.
Sometimes I think common courtesy is just dying but Im fighting tooth and nail with my own actions and the kids and thier friends to keep it alive.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
9 (
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where is the romance..or why I don't want to have sex with you!
Posted:
11/6/2004 9:21:28 AM
Absolutly! But the romance has alot to do with how easy the access is going to be. LOL
I couldnt believe the difference in manners the men and ladies showed just by where I lived. I moved 20 minutes from my old place and Ive had more gentleman holding doors(young and old). Romance is definatly something that is underrated by both sexes and something that needs to come back to the fore.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
4 (
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virgin girl who needs advice.
Posted:
11/6/2004 8:54:20 AM
He probrably does like you, and Id think the idea of going out for a bite to eat is great. Lots of talking when you go somewhere. Go for it.
As for the breaking up if you dont want to have sex, yes unfortunatly alot of people are like that, but as much as it would hurt for someone to break up with you because you wouldnt "put out" imagine how much it would hurt if you did put out and couldnt stand the fact that you let yourself down when you realized you cared more than he did and you just lost the one thing you can never get back to a situation that wasnt all you thought it would be.
Absolutly give yourself time to get to know this guy or whoever your dating, and plan it, you always want your first time to not only be physicaly great but the best half is the emotional factor and if your heart isnt totaly into it then what should have been a super fantastic experience is gonna be so-so.
There is alot to be said for a heavy dose of making out and not going all the way.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
6 (
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where is the romance..or why I don't want to have sex with you!
Posted:
11/6/2004 8:36:54 AM
indigorose33, I fully expect the attention, whether we are going to McDs or some dressy place. Hold that door open for me, lead me onto the dance floor(not drag) look me in the EYE when you compliment my dress. I dont expect a guy to stand up when I do(but wouldnt that be so cool) but some good old fashioned gentleman to lady maners make my heart start to palpitate because they are so rarely used anymore. And ladies, dont sit in a dress with your legs wide open when your sitting in that fancy resteraunt, unless the tablecloth is long and he took his shoe off............
Sorry, DH is at work again and Im thinking too much.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
51 (
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Interracial Dating....
Posted:
11/6/2004 8:14:09 AM
I dont think it was hateful, it was tainted's opinion, she just said she personaly wouldnt date someone who had a relationship with a black person. My husband did, I obviously didnt let that stop me, she taught him quite alot
and Ive reaped the benefits.
Rap chick we unfortunatly have many who view interacial dating as offensive. I never really thought of myself dating someone outside my race when I was young, because of preference not because of prejudice against it. But I never limited myself to who I would date because of color. I still wish I had dated this guy Dorian who was mixed black/white, I had a boyfriend already but knew he wanted to go out with me, he had a voice that could melt the polar icecaps from the inside out. WOO! He used to sing to me over the phone and if I didnt have high morals about being with only one person I woulda crawled thru the phone to get too him and rocked his world.
I have 3 kids and Im glad to see that they are growing up with open views no matter what race or lifestyle someone chooses. They have good morals, they are sure of themselves and the only reason I would not approve of anyone they chose too date/marry would be because that person was a controlling, untrustworthy #*@&$($@@($.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
34 (
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Morning SEX..... LOVE IT or HATE IT!!!
Posted:
11/5/2004 6:38:30 AM
mmmmm I like it. Especialy when I wake up before he does and he gets all giggly cuz hes gonna get some before he has to go to work. Waking up to his hands all over me. mmmm yearh!
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
45 (
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Interracial Dating....
Posted:
11/5/2004 6:30:29 AM
I can understand people having preferences, we all have them. But for crying out loud have some class,couthe(sp?) or just plain manners.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
11 (
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When you msg someone who doesnt reply.....
Posted:
11/5/2004 6:16:01 AM
Ok I appologize to the gentlemen who emailed me and I did not respond to, i felt bad not replying but just really had no idea what to say and didnt think my profile was completly honest. I feel better about it now since I changed a bunch of stuff in it, except for that looking for men part, its either men or women, cant put "anyone" in there so thats not as true as it could be.
Now if I get any more I will answer them but since I changed my profile no one has emailed me at all, dosnt bother me, I like the forums and talking here.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
43 (
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Interracial Dating....
Posted:
11/5/2004 5:38:22 AM
Maybe its just me and the people I call friends, but, I dont have a problem with it, my friends dont have a problem with it, my family dosnt have a problem with me being white and my husband being hispanic. If your happy and someone else dosnt like it, too bad.
Is there sometimes a clash or bumper car reaction because of cultures, well yeah, it happens even when two people of the same race get together, it happens all the time most just dont pay attention to what seems to be a "regular" type of relationship, and I use regular very loosly.
Ive noticed more looks and reactions from people wondering why a 140 lb woman would be with a 325 lb man. It was really bad years ago when I was still 120 and he was 280, I actualy had a man come up to me and ask "why would you be with someone like that"? All I could say was "what"?! He was refering to wieght not race. I was flabergasted! What the H*LL does that have to do with anything, especialy when he treats me with respect, love, and the wildest nights in bed I'd ever had.
I think if I could go back I would punch that guy in the nose just for being such an *sshole. I dont think this really makes a difference but the guy who asked such a stupid *&%(*& question was black and about 35 at the time.
Ive never had anyone else, ever, ask me a question regarding race or wieght in the 14 years we've been together.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
16 (
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also going in, covering fire!!
Posted:
11/5/2004 4:23:30 AM
Have a great time guys. As long as its just buterflies and not Mothra I think you will.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
14 (
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Cover me...I'm going in
Posted:
11/3/2004 11:36:35 AM
Cool beans!
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
13 (
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Re: If a couple breaks up, and something happens with someone else is that cheating?
Posted:
11/3/2004 6:06:33 AM
You did nothing wrong whatsoever! You stated your intentions, you told him not to wait, you were not together or "on a break".
This guy sounds alot like an ex bf of mine, he would see me look at another guy just in passing and all of a sudden he claims Im sleeping with that guy. He is giving you a guilt trip and those things just p*ss me off so bad, GGGRRRRR.
Stay away from him. If you go back he will never let you forget how you "cheated" on him and will surley put it in words to make you doubt yourself so that he can try and get you to "make it up to him", and it will never end. Dont go for it PLEASE.
Not trying to get on a soap box but "been there, done that" and it will NOT get better. Keep taking time for yourself until you are in a comfortable place and ready to really take on the world again.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
7 (
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Sad story but a great lesson
Posted:
11/2/2004 6:58:12 AM
HHMMMMMMMM
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
5 (
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Sad story but a great lesson
Posted:
11/2/2004 6:38:27 AM
My condensed story..
This was a number of years ago... Hubbys best friend wanted his party buddy back after hubby and I had been together for 4 years and two kids later, he started a rumor that he and I slept together hoping it would get to hubby, MIL heard the rumor and told hubby that she went to a phycic and he told her I was sleeping around and named the best friend. I heard the rumor just before MIL and tried to bring it up with hubby but he already heard the rumor that best friend had slept with another friends wife(another lie) and didnt want to have anything to do with said friend anymore. But MIL was determined to get the "white girl" out of her sons life and played it to the hilt. WHEW!!
Now if I was a bad person, spent all his money, cheated and demanded more then I could understand, but I dont do drugs, social drinker and since we got together we went from barely making it in a two bedroom apt. to owning a 4 bed, 2 bath home, own 4 cars, 3 dogs and are very comfortable. I love my hubby with all my heart and support him in whatever he wants to do. How much more do these people want.
By the way Id love to hear what happens this weekend. LOL
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
3 (
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Sad story but a great lesson
Posted:
11/2/2004 5:58:40 AM
Its sad, Ive seen this situation before myself and had others try and do the same thing to my husband and me, many times. I cant believe how some people just cant seem to be happy unless someone else is miserable, and Im glad that as an adult couple we can talk things out and know each other well enough to know something sounds fishy about what that person just told us.
Congrats on being able to talk to each other, so many out there cant.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
17 (
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funny..but weird..and well...just weird
Posted:
11/1/2004 9:33:04 AM
OOF! I hope that one stops really soon.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
15 (
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funny..but weird..and well...just weird
Posted:
11/1/2004 7:56:18 AM
Very true gangrel, dont get me wrong, the first couple of years it was creapy as all get out, he never tried to confront me outright, never did anything damaging, but I did let all my friends know about him and rarely went somewhere by myself for a while just in case. It was also comforting to know that I could literaly pick this guy up and toss him around if I felt threatend at all and have family in the local police force to help me keep an eye on things. We realized that he just had to see for himself that there was no chance we would get back together for him to stop, but I wasnt going to go looking for him to tell him. This was over 10 years ago.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
13 (
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funny..but weird..and well...just weird
Posted:
11/1/2004 7:21:36 AM
The worst I had was a guy I dated started stalking all the places he knew I had been. He dressed to the 9's in a three piece suit, jewelry etc. He would go to a bar he knew I went to once in a while, the mall, my sister's house, anywhere he thought he might see me. He did this for 3 years until he saw me one day with hubby and our two kids walking in the mall on our way to breakfast one morning. It was spooky but never violent, Thank God.
It was actualy an ongoing joke between hubby, sis and me about where he would show up next and how I actualy had a stalker in the first place.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
25 (
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Re: Flowers?
Posted:
10/29/2004 11:23:08 AM
Well dang now I feel downright dowdy, if I own 5 dresses thats alot, maybe 10 pairs of shoes, the diamond on my left hand and well yes I do have a pearl necklace(that I asked for)but I make sure he dosnt blow all of his money on BS so he can put the 355 small block in his S10 and buy that supercharger and put in the racheting gear shift...
Im a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl with tennis shoes and would much rather get a dozen long stem roses than another necklace that stays in the jewelry box cuz Im afraid itll get broken when I forget to take it off at night and we......well I forget to take it off. LOL
Note: first date would be good to get a good mixed bouquet instead of roses i think,just cuz.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
22 (
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Re: Flowers?
Posted:
10/29/2004 6:04:12 AM
LOL When man-ape screws up its best to have them delivered to her work so everyone can see that he is trying to make up.
On the first date is nice but I have to agree that the next day or next date is better, but only if things are clicking well. It would give me a better idea of what the guy is thinking in the terms of "did I make a fool of myself last night or is he going to call me and ask me out again". If flowers show up either delivered or even better with him then the second date to me is a shoe in.
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
38 (
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What do you find sexy at bedtime?
Posted:
10/29/2004 5:38:07 AM
Nothing, I dont want anything getting in my way. The scent of him freshly showered and snuggling close as he looks me in the eye and says in a sultry voice "Hi" and then starts kissing and..........
xciteme
Joined:
10/18/2004
Msg:
39 (
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Snoring... how do you deal with it??
Posted:
10/28/2004 7:39:22 AM
I guess I got used to it. I find that when he stops snoring I wake up. Sometimes he stops breathing(apnea) and it only lasts a few seconds but when it happens Im suddenly awake and I poke him to make him start breathing again and Ill make him change positions so I can hear him breathe. I actualy sleep better when he snores, guess its kinda like rain on a tin roof.
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