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Thread: Ok, having no luck with responses to my email, help

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Ok, having no luck with responses to my email, help Posted: 11/25/2009 10:50:28 AM
Don't worry about it. Ignore it. This is POF / Virtual reality/ a web sight. Get out in the 3D world we all live in! A lot of my friends (female) just go on POF out of boredom to pass the time. They have become so COMPLETELY turned off by the majority of wankers on line that even if you were that jene sais quoi of a woman's desire they'd never get past the delete button. Be Well PS - I want you to do this - for every 5 emails you ever sent here, start a conversation with one girl in person. Anything, smile, wink, say anything, what's good here?, how did you like that movie...? if you think she is cute DEFINITELY start a conversation. 1/2 the work is done, your interested in her.

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Why would a guy do this then tell her about it? Posted: 10/20/2009 2:03:57 PM
Sounds like you are going through a lot of effort to make a profile on POF to post this so this girl will get a guys input but .... Sounds like lack of communication, I could see how you meant it as a 'sarcastic' compliment based on your writings and she wanted to get agitated over it. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Having trouble getting responses Posted: 9/20/2009 7:49:10 AM
You need to ask not how do I but why do I- (which is against the forum rules here) Myself after a ludicrous 7 year self created test on POF - good god the web can be too addictive!- now realize that this is just POF and many of us, perhaps you as well don't fit the confines of it. So don't worry about! Spend your time in the 3D world we live in! For every two emails you ever sent on POF say hello to one person in real life and strike up a conversation. What's the worse - (not including her over paranoid BF ex wrestler date pummeling you,) that can happen? Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Lay it on 7 Years POF 1 date and some email Posted: 9/15/2009 4:28:16 PM
I thank you all for your input. Since the one commonality I sense is that regardless of what I am intending to mean, it on the web will be interpreted not how I meant it and, not being able to see ones' response I can not correct that interpretation. I feel I should write verses ignoring that I sincerely read all of your comments So now I am even more confused - one says vest yes, vest no. Others (not here)- be yourself - lie, don't lie, say what YOU are looking for, don't say what you are looking for. > I'm going to be very rough on you. But only because I can't see how you could only have one date in five years. From POF just that one friend I met back in 2002 or 3. I date just not from POF. Humor - very hard to do stand up on line sitting down - been there done that had random compliments on it. >lose that negative sentence by the way - lots of great women work in media, advertising, etc. I know that is also one of my day gigs - making people buy things they don't need with money they don't have to impress people they don't even like >And jeez it's really all about you, you, you and what you won't put up with and don't like. It's just negative and unappealing and if you aren't negative and unappealing, it doesn't represent you well. For anything long term my mindset / my avoidances / my likes/ dislikes / your dislikes / likes are important. >I like the leather vest, . . .. I'd send you a message Thank you >Lose all the Dominant/Submissive talk - I see what you're trying for there, but using fetish terms just doesn't work. Women get a whole lot of weird mail; you want to drop anything that even hints at perv Long term I could not ignore what past relationships, that were the most intense and most learned relationships for me, have revealed as to who and what I am. Perhaps POF is just too vanilla. The attraction os D/s is very real. It is not a perversion or gross emotion or thought. Some do some don't, some like ketchup some like catsup. I think my quest for an answer is over on POF - It is no longer a mental test that I am going to wonder why. Ironically recently when my past GF and I went pour separate ways, I had an email alert on this account that I had forgotten about ... so that is why I put it back. Denver - I think you wrote the most and had some very good points except almost everything you interpreted I think is raised from my inability to correctly convey what I am, what I do and others who know me in person understand me as. Yes there is only a small fraction of women I am drawn to. And we do attend raves and goth and balls and Dom Con and Jazz festivals, and wineries and some are doctors, and some get high, some are architects, some are models, some are musicians and some are dominant and some are submissive, some are gay, some drives imports and some drive HOGs, some are straight, some work in TV some work in theater, some you'd know many you've never heard of, but all are happy with themselves and who they are and are my friends that if I lost touch with them and we happened to see each again we would still have the same bond we hold currently. Time would not cause that to wane. I do thank you all for your honesty and I can now put this chapter to rest. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Lay it on 7 Years POF 1 date and some email Posted: 9/15/2009 6:27:03 AM
Thanx for reading . . . Seems me and POF are a volatile combination. Most of my forums get deleted in the first day. Hope asking for a profile review is not redundant? Other forum review I posted no comments after I had it reworked so lay it on, again. Brief History: I joined POF in 2002? to date 5 years one date with a girl on POF I knew I might only be friends with, which is what we stayed as. Hang out, parties, shows etc. With a pic, with out, had a girl who knew me help write a profile, followed a facebook / twitter format style for a while etc. When I put a PIC on this profile back in May/June 2009 (I had forgotten about this profile for the past 2 years) for a few weeks if I did get an email reply it was usually quite mean spirited and angry towards me. My most recent relationship, lived with me 2+ years, we first met on line and another very intense relationship also first met on line (Not POF) In real life I am constantly running into people, grabbing a drink with friends etc. Just POF for me seems to be more of a mail / chat forum/. I've heard (but never met a couple in person to confirm) many are dating, networking, business leads and getting out there using POF so perhaps my Je ne sais quoi is just a bad mix for this sight? Could it perhaps be more of a self quest for me to actually go on a date from POF? Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/11/2009 10:02:24 AM
Well perhaps that was an omen. My reply got butchered between what I typed and what appeared. Try this again / copy paste Perhaps you can not use greater than / less than to block out text. #3 with no shft , or shft . IMO, your life sounds a bit of a mess right now. Your profile makes it sound as though you are living with your ex, your adult children, and a stranger/recording artist, is that correct? Madison, Thank you for your input. I am becoming more convinced the web is not for me. My writing skills on line are not my forte. Your cliff note summation above is not accurate but that is how you interpreted me. Most of the women I know would not want to date a guy living with his ex It is a large estate I live on but the point is, just because my desire and attraction to one I once greatly cared for waned should I throw her out on the street now? Chasing a memory? Maybe I am recalling the memory of a girl I first met / talked with online (not on POF) My second question I originally added remains. If POF is sooooo much harder than real life to meet, talk, network, etc why are we all here?Is POF more just a forum / chat sight? Perhaps that is a question for another forum. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/11/2009 9:59:52 AM
Well perhaps that was an omen. My reply got butchered between what I typed and what appeared. Try this again / copy paste >IMO, your life sounds a bit of a mess right now. Your profile makes it sound as though you are living with your ex, your adult children, and a stranger/recording artist, is that correct? >Most of the women I know would not want to date a guy living with his ex >Chasing a memory? << Maybe I am recalling the memory of a girl I first met / talked with online (not on POF) My second question I originally added remains. If POF is sooooo much harder than real life to meet, talk, network, etc why are we all here?Is POF more just a forum / chat sight? Perhaps that is a question for another forum. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/11/2009 9:57:49 AM
>>>>IMO, your life sounds a bit of a mess right now. Your profile makes it sound as though you are living with your ex, your adult children, and a stranger/recording artist, is that correct? >>>Most of the women I know would not want to date a guy living with his ex >>Chasing a memory? <<< Maybe I am recalling the memory of a girl I first met / talked with online (not on POF) My second question I originally added remains. If POF is sooooo much harder than real life to meet, talk, network, etc why are we all here?Is POF more just a forum / chat sight? Perhaps that is a question for another forum. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/8/2009 10:38:52 PM
090909 Thank you for your input. Made some changes, not proofed. Lay it on me. Sorry if I sound jaded to the web but perhaps I am chasing a memory. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/7/2009 3:06:00 PM
>Are you really wanting a review, or just to rant? Let us know and we'll get back to you. Thanks. No I am not ranting - I find POF and web dating is a lot more negative than real life. Never had a girl I said hello to in person become rude - simple thanks but no thanx which is fine. Aegle thank you for ideas. Maybe I should rewrite this to reflect what I am and ignore that this is a vanilla sight. meditating a top of dear point leap looks cranky? Exhausted perhaps but not cranky ; ) >The reality is there are seriously dangerous nut jobs out there who use online dating services to find their next victim. Plus there are a bunch of social skills challenged, extremely rude men on a free site like this which makes women even more cautious, not to mention there are way more men on here than women< I agree - I think that is one of the major factors against online networking. . 99% BS on line so if I am here then there is a 99% chance I am so full of shit I need my own septic tank. A friend of mine just went on POF to pass the time because I mentioned it and the mail she gets - skeeves her she says. Thank you and Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Is POF that much different than reality Posted: 9/7/2009 12:54:24 AM
Review away. . . I will ask your humble (not) opinion but let me also ask if web dating is SOOOO much harder to meet creative, friendly people we relate with verses those we meet in real life why do so many do it? Are we all closet masochists? The harsh replies I received after I posted a picture have waned, or maybe I just don't say hello as much as I used to and that is why ( or perhaps I should nix the winter pics when it is summer? ) Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Should be ask a guy but wrong gender so I can't (So I'll ask both) Posted: 8/17/2009 5:53:15 PM
Never Mind - the problem was between the keyboard and the seat - Yeah what you said the POF web server creates it's own list - not the same as the favorites - D'ohhh Blasted machines!

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Should be ask a guy but wrong gender so I can't (So I'll ask both) Posted: 8/12/2009 1:33:36 PM
lovemesumboys1 >As far as I know, no one can actually hot list you. The computer does that on it's own I favour someone if I find them really funny [we've already chatted probably] and I like talking to them/their personality. I could see / understand that but these are like 15 or 20 recently I have never met, talked with, emailed. I assumed that as a girl sending / listing a guy as favorite or hot list, that is like a wink or smile in the real world and I should be courteous and say hello back. SassyBoricua69 >The only people that are on my faves list are people who have been in the forums and are my pals, great profiles, and such 'cept this is the only POF forum I have posted in years. Can’t be the after-shave I am wearing you can’t smell me over the internet. Can you? I thank you all for your input - Convinced now, time to use my MAC as a door stop and enjoy the non virtual world of reality . . . a lot less confusing. Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Should be ask a guy but wrong gender so I can't (So I'll ask both) Posted: 8/11/2009 11:15:53 AM
Hey all- I had to post this on ask a girl because of my profile gender but I will ask both – POF, the hot lists, the whose favorited you or thinks you’re hot – what do you find when women do that and you contact them; nasty reply back, unread deleted, etc? Just wondering what the norm is. And women when you hot list a guy or favorite him what do you seek by doing to that? I used to take the time to write a courtesy hello back and say hi. Is NOT doing that more rude? Be Well

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 134 (view)

How to handle it when it's an immediate turn-off? Posted: 11/27/2006 9:08:59 PM
OP - I have had a few dates that should have been I turn and run, not just because of physical appearance but also a complete ‘deer in the head lights stare’ and only YEAH! or ‘ah uhh’ responses. I stuck it out and I actually bit the bullet and made my self unappealing to her (and no it was no one from POF) in a gracious way as I really could not feel good about running just because of ones physical appearance to not at least talk and listen. Except I had nothing to listen to except yep, nope and mmm uhm. Regarding the drive by and leaving. That almost happened Sunday. I had to get some cash and groceries first so I walked into the supermarket and less than five minutes later came out, walking towards the coffee shop and she was just about to drive off because she thought I saw her when I pulled in and was running. I did not see her when I pulled in and my cell phone does not get reception on that side of the hill so I did not get her call till much later. Long story short it was an all day date, beach (even in November) some shopping for cheap sunglasses, Italian pastries and two bars and lunch. I would have felt terrible if that miscommunication had happened. It is different though for a girl if a guy looks beyond sane or safe to risk even chatting, so I could agree with turn and run from a girls’ perspective.

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 1107 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 11/20/2006 8:44:43 AM
Yes from more than just POF but since I am a guy the need for concern of a first meet is not the same. I will add that I will meet for a drink or chat with just about any one regardless of appearance but I have never met a picture less profile that I felt was the one. If you are reading this and know me, you know of my other profile with pictures. For the record I can state that it is untrue that profiles with no pictures get xx% less responses or dates. And no this is not a fake profile at all, just a different, less intense side of me. Ciao

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Crappy photos Posted: 10/7/2006 6:19:19 AM
Yes I know this profile as no PIC for me . . just trying to disprove the tag line "Profiles with a photo get 16 quintillion more replies than a picture of Marylyn Manson" - but that will be another blog. I agree 100% with the bad photo's! WTF? Both guys and girls! Some photos are below the first generation camera phone in quality. Dark pixilated and beyond blurred. That is a turn off to me as, I interpret it as you are not confident and hiding yourself, but don't wan to not not post a picture, so you put up a blurred blotch. And the back grounds! Ahh a kitchen that is in need of going from 1960 décor to the present? A bathroom shot . . great choice. I remember one girl had a group photo that said PS I am the one on the left. OK whose left? Mine as I look at the picture or from the subjects position? She did update that. And then there are the Girl and ex BF shots . . . which come to find out, no that is my brother. OK why would you put your brother next to you on a dating sight? From my view I figure that is the type of guy you are in to. Some camera angle advise. To raise attention to the subject, shoot up VERY close short aperture so the depth of field is short and the back ground will be blurred. If you don’t have a good background go for a white wall, or curtains. If you don’t have lighting, then outdoors (but please guys and girls not standing next to the side of your neighbors house showing the garbage pails!) Just one picture less mans’ view on profile pictures.

Joined: 8/25/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Guys Who Only Talk To You If You Want To Have Their Baby?! Posted: 10/7/2006 4:48:40 AM
WOW!!! What an eye opener. Firstly no you are not nutty or even remotely off base. . . unless, hold on I am re-reading your post. I do not know what his profile said. If you contacted HIM FIRST and his profile was full of ‘must not be this and that and must want kids’ but you contacted him any ways . . . then OK maybe he is not suffering from mid life pre-menopausal anxiety. His reply “"You are attractive, & should probably even post more pics, but I think we are at different stages in family building. I would wish you luck on the search but I doubt you will need it." From that I interpret that he compliments you on your physical appearance. He said something nice. He also sounds saddened that he feels he cannot instantly find his opposite. Your reply of OK. Here's what I said; "Family building? Are you kidding? Wadaya think you're an architect? When you grow up u will realize that you a) b) c) That could be pretty harsh reading it again. Especially the part WHEN YOU GROW UP! ﬂ-emphasis added to show one possible assumed meaning of it by him. Should I've used a milder approach to let him know he's makin a boo-boo? Once again I do not know ‘HIS’ profile. There may very well be opposite gender mates for him that also are gung ho crazy about gotta have a kid gotta have a kid !!!! but just not you. You don’t want kids he does. I don’t like religions she does. I don’t country music Bobby-Sue does. So survey says. Yeah you were harsh on him but more info is needed to understand what was exchanged and how and when and by whom first.

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