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 Author Thread: Single Bashing
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Single Bashing
Posted: 11/22/2009 11:45:19 AM
In your coworker’s world, you are the “Heath Barkley”; an outside looking for recognition. They find it difficult to relate to you, as your life does not revolve around babies, husbands, and other topics associated with “coupledom”. I believe that comments such as, “What’s wrong with you?” or the constant “Did you meet him?” inquiries are their ignorant way of trying to include you in their group. It’s akin to those folks who unintentionally say the wrong things at funerals. Their hearts are in the right place, but their mouths are a bit off-center. I agree with the suggestion of keeping your private life private. Either that, or the next time they ask, “What’s wrong with you?” Let them know that after listening to their constant spouse grousing and kid troubles, you’re in no hurry to settle.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
met my 1st psycho ( might belong in the humor section)(Long read)
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:31:52 AM

3rd date why..............

butt cheeks , I'm a sucker for nice butt cheeks


You really need to learn how to differentiate butt cheeks from asshats.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 180 (view)
 
Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:18:15 AM
From Garyizzanut...

*disclaimer* My opinions on this are just generalities some of these types of people are not suitable for me because of my sexual requirements



But, again, I'm always glad to see the opinions of people like Garyizzanut - clearly someone like that would get dropped immediately from 'possible' status and kicked to the curb. I'd prefer to hear the truth - helps with the elimination process.

EXACTLY, merrylass. He proved my point: If he would later bail on a spouse if certain incapacitations, injuries, or illness prevented her from performing his specific “sexual requirements”, then it doesn’t MATTER whether or not he sexually PREQUALIFIED her ASAP when they first met, which is the TOPIC of this thread. The prequalification does not MATTER, because there is NOTHING she could have EVER done to guarantee that she will ALWAYS be able to perform EXACTLY the way he needs. So, looks like that “clitmus” test on the first date is nothing more than another horny ruse.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:33:46 AM

Okay, Frau Blucher, I am with AntiDate in wanting to know all about this Cleveland Steamer thing….

I have never done it, seen it, or smelled it.... nor would I want to (hence the "No thanks"). If you want to know what it is, all I can tell you is that the Urban Dictionary is your friend.

P.S.
There is an add-on, as well: The Cleveland Steam Roller


The More You Know!
(The More You Realize You Will NEVER Date)
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
couple arrested for not tipping.,,
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:59:07 PM
“A Mandatory Gratuity Is Just a Tip, and Thus Not Mandatory, a Prosecutor Says” in a very similar case that took place in Lake George, New York...

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/15/nyregion/15tipper.html?_r=2&oref=slogin

I agree with the decision. The word “gratuity” means a gift or voluntary. Restaurants cannot change the definition of words to suit their own agenda or "soften the blow" of charging more. If they want to charge larger parties more, then it's a FEE or an additional CHARGE, it is not a tip.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:56:15 PM

no sex? that should never ever happen to 2 people that are attracted to each other and as I said there is no reason someone can't make time for sex and there is nothing that can prevent sex from happening.

Well, "sex" is up for definition here. What happens, for example, if the OP’s referenced “favorite secret fetish” could no longer be performed? Or other acts, positions, etc. that were THE MOST IMPORTANT criteria in mate selection, criteria that he proclaims MUST be found out ASAP or it’s “no dice”? I’d like to hear what the OP has to say about that.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 162 (view)
 
Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:23:36 PM

Now this is the attitude I hate. There is not one thing that is so debilitating that it will prevent someone from having sex, there is always other ways and options

IMO, it is not an “attitude”, but a viable question. If the OP believes that sex is the MOST important thing to ensure the longevity of a relationship, I feel it is applicable to ask him what would happen to said relationship in the event there is no sex? The “other ways and options” exist, IMO, because of the interrelating dynamic (not just the sex) that was developed and nurtured between the couple, as I explained in my other post.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted: 11/21/2009 1:49:29 PM

So women,… don’t you want to know if the guy can get it up before you spend months investing in the relationship?

One does not have to have coitus with a STRANGER to know whether or not he can “get it up”. Are you not familiar with the nurturing of romantic intimacy during the getting-to-know you process, or do you always just go right for the twazzer? For me, someone with such an impulsivity to “get in on” without desiring to truly get to know their partner is a sign that the suitor may be a “selfish” lover; that the animalistic carnality of the act and getting themselves off is their number one priority. Sexual intimacy, for me, is developed and nurtured in tandem with our budding friendship, during the getting-to-know-you process.


And what he cant perform your favorite little secret fetish?

IMO, any fetishes or unusual sexual proclivities that could possibly be a deal breaker should be revealed BEFORE getting involved. I don’t need a suitor to try and give me a Cleveland Steamer on a first date in order to tell him, “No thanks.”


That’s all I’m saying. Find out before you make the investment. Your missing the point. I'ts not about sleeping around.

IMO, what you suggest is to get sexually intimate ASAP with a STRANGER. Sex appears to be the PRIMARY and ONLY focus. You’re missing the point that sex, while extremely important, isn’t the most important thing for all people. For me, sexual arousal and desire comes from WHO the man is, not his penis; it is his character, integrity, personality, sense o’ humor et al, in combination with our mutual adoration that is the TURN ON. It is the INTERRELATING dynamic that is the HEART of the relationship, not the COITUS. This dynamic cannot be developed without taking the time to get to know one another.


There is nothing more important to establishing and maintaining a long lasting relationship than sexual chemistry. Sorry, but its the truth!

What happens in the event you or your mate become unable to “perform” due to age, accident, illness or some other incapacity (all very realistic possibilities)? Does your long term relationship go kaput when sex is no longer possible? After all, “your truth” means that nothing is more important to maintaining longevity in a relationship than intercourse. I guess it’s “until the death of my pecker do we part” for you. I’m sure glad the longevity for me is based upon the love and respect we have for one another, and not by how well he can service me sexually. Diff strokes, diff folks, and I’ll still love him and stay by his side even when he can no longer stroke it, choke it, or poke it.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Realizing ALOT!
Posted: 11/21/2009 12:27:46 PM

So through the dating on this site, I am realizing that I have alot of insecurities. Which means, that I take someone showing interest in me and I TOTALLY run with it. Then I end up compromising myself and my beliefs, which always means I get hurt in the end.

IMO, your problem is that you are decent person with an honest heart who too often throws caution to the wind, because you believe that the strangers you meet are also honest and decent. In reality, you’re “totally running with” a STRANGER. By letting impulsivity and naivety be your guide, you are not taking the requisite time to truly GET TO KNOW your suitor. You’re only “falling” for the FAÇADE the man displays, and not the true man behind it. Once the façade crumbles, you discover it was an asshat in a nice man suit.


Also, what are key factors in dating that you feel you HAVE to follow to prevent further injury?

Take the time necessary to truly get to know your suitor, so you’ll fall for the man rather than the façade. Depending upon how often you see one another, I think it takes about three months for the best-foot-forward facades to crumble.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Finding Out How Interested He Is...And Why
Posted: 11/20/2009 8:33:04 AM

Why are these articles usually about teaching women how to deal with men? Aren't men interested in learning about women?

You must have missed the Time Life Series: “Discovering Why Women Are Such Suckers for Schlock” (intro by Dr. Phil!!)”
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Love and being in love
Posted: 11/19/2009 5:32:15 PM
It doesn’t really matter what brand o’ love she claims she’s feeling this week, she does not love you in the right way. If she did, she wouldn’t want to meet other men. I read your other post, and I think all her talk of loving you gobs and gobs is nothing more than gobs and gobs of bullshit. She has been checked out of the relationship for a while and has been actively auditioning other men to replace you. That’s not love; it’s asshattery to the nth degree.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Regretfully didn't give him my number!!!! Now what??
Posted: 11/19/2009 10:46:46 AM
Send him a card and write inside: I forgot to give you this the other day: 867-5309

Non-stalkerish, but it shows him ya got moxie.





Damn you, Tommy Tutone!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
2nd chance... yes or no
Posted: 11/18/2009 4:25:02 PM
Does he have a history of financial irresponsibility? I can’t believe you’d end things over just one indiscretion, so I’m betting there is a pattern here. If that’s the case, then I doubt he found financial stability and learned how to manage his money within the short time that you and he parted ways. I’d surmise that he’s contacting you because he is bored of drinking and hanging out with his buddies and “wants to come home”. I’d ask him, what, specifically, he has done within the last two and a half months to get himself “on the right track”; what steps has he taken to resolve his issues?
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH
Posted: 11/18/2009 9:03:52 AM
Walking on eggshells is no way to go through life. Learn from this experience, so that you can jettison the escape pod quicker next time. Good luck, OP!


You don't know this guy so why are you beating yourself up over him?

Well, I guess that is kind of true, but they are in an exclusive relationship, of sorts (Read the history, it’s a Lifetime Original Movie; all that’s missing is Meredith Baxter-Birney-not-Birney-anymore-going-back-to-Baxter ).
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Honesty in Dating
Posted: 11/17/2009 4:11:56 PM
The only dating process anyone can be 100% certain about is their own, so why risk hurting a suitor’s feelings by assuming that “everyone knows” what you’re doing? Isn’t it easier to just disclose intentions and dating styles BEFORE getting involved? Especially if you met on a dating site; I mean, the cats already outta the bag here. Before you even meet, it’s a certainty that you’re both looking for “some type” of relationship; and it’s the ambiguity of “some type” and the means in which people get there that makes it imperative to disclose intent and dating processes beforehand. I don’t think it’s necessary to give specific numbers, but it just seems like common sense and courtesy to be upfront and let your intendeds know your approach to dating.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
The other side of WTF was he thinking?
Posted: 11/16/2009 9:01:15 PM

She TOLD me, in an email that she was MAD at me for EXACTLY this reason...she said that it "hurt" her that I did not make a move.

Sounds like someone’s ego held a party and nobody came. The hubris balloons have all been deflated and the birthday suit goes back in the closet till next year.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 96 (view)
 
BF will not tell me his birthdate or where he works - is this wierd to you guys?
Posted: 11/16/2009 9:28:56 AM
Maybe I missed it in this thread, but have you ever ask him, point blank, WHY he refuses to give you this information? Have you ever told him that it his intentional avoidance and reluctance to tell you these generic, personal tidbits and NOT the actual data that is causing you consternation and concern? Have you ever asked what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Try it and then you can make an informed decision on how to proceed. Good luck!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Dating A Single Child
Posted: 11/16/2009 9:21:03 AM
Your friend is actually rejecting potential suitors who were an only-child because she is worried that she may actually marry one of these strangers and then the kids they haven’t even conceived yet would have no imaginary aunts and uncles to dote on them? I’ve heard of putting the cart before the horse, but your friend is hitching a million unicorns to Cinderella's glass coach.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
In case your a serial killer in a profile
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:38:31 AM

What does everyone think of seeing this statement in a profile?

It’s a red flag for sure! Why, anyone with a bit of smarts knows it’s “you’re” not “your”. NEXT!

I know for one I would avoid contacting this person because by using this statement it tells me shes uneducated about the internet dating scene and tells me their paranoia level is at an all time high

You avoid contacting a total stranger and possible date solely because of a hackneyed profile cliché, and yet it’s the profiler that is uneducated and paranoid? Oh, Prunella! I think that some people need to remove the crimson blindfolds they’ve tied around their eyes. Trite expressions are NOT fortune cookies, however the Number 7 with lychee is rather stale.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
bf has bad time management
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:01:25 AM

i'm still yelling and screaming at him at the top of my lungs!...

i was pretty much yelling at him on the phone...

i dont even like hanging out with him cuz it ends up being a disaster of yelling at him...

NO, HE ISNT CHEATING ALREADY MADE SURE OF THAT!...

i wouldnt be so mean to him if he ****in acted like an adult...

who the **** is always screaming at the top of my lungs...

Treat people the way you want to be treated?


ppl tell me u should break up with him, how is breaking up with someone over time management prob a red flag? cheating would be a red flag for me and bein abusive.

From what you’ve described, his tardiness causes you to rage and become verbally abusive, so yeah, the red flag has been hoisted up the mast and is noisily snapping in the breeze. You’ve been chewing on the same old cud for two years. IMO, it’s time to accept that the only person you can ever truly change is yourself. Ergo, you’re going to have to accept him as he is, or end it. Also, if you truly are yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs, then I recommend some anger management classes, as well.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should I Report This Guy?
Posted: 11/14/2009 1:18:28 PM
Why report him? Even if he were to get banned, he’d just slither back again. Truly, his only crime was being an asshat, and if we start banning people for that, well, there’ll be no one left!

You should have told him that you’re not a match because “Libtards” don’t mix well with “Fvcktards”.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Seeing more than one guy... am I outta line here?
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:50:24 PM

I'm talking about when they ask you on the first date, or over the phone or whatever... then, they don't contact you again.

If they don’t contact you again, then how do you know they disappeared because you’re dating more than one suitor at a time?

If I am going out with someone, I feel it absolutely is my business to know what to expect. I don’t need to know if they went out last weekend, where they went or with whom, but I will want to know their dating process and what they’re looking for in a relationship, or if they’re even looking FOR a relationship, or if they just want to casually date for fun, or if they date more than one person simultaneously, or... I think you get the idea.

We all have different dating processes and ways of doing things. Personally, I do not want to be part of someone’s dating rotation. Different strokes and all that, but if they have “regulars” that they are casually dating, I don’t want to be added to the line-up.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
BF will not tell me his birthdate or where he works - is this wierd to you guys?
Posted: 11/13/2009 7:28:46 PM
I think his behavior is suspect. It seems as if he is either hiding something or he doesn’t trust you with this “highly-sensitive information” (i.e., the type of info that the general populace would consider basic getting-to-know your mate type minutia and small talk). Perhaps he feels that because your relationship is new, the time isn’t right to “let you in” on this top secret data. However, I am of the opinion that if you’re close enough to “let him in[side]” of you, then you’re close enough to have the level of clearance necessary to know where he works and his birthday.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS ABOUT?
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:43:09 PM

Just found out that I am throwing him off balance socially. So much so that he has twice gotten into bipolar like moods and wanted to leave a party/small group of friends. He has never dated someone so extremely outgoing, independent, witty (his admittance, not mine) and bold. Doesn't like when I get into heated conversation about music, to which he cannot contribute. In fact he actually made fun of me multiple times for "geeking out" about music, one of my passions.



He says he places all his ego in his social abilities (which without me are GREAT). He's the kind of guy who can walk into a party full of strangers and lead the room in a discussion, story or even dance party.

You’re stealing his thunder.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Girlfriend Question
Posted: 11/13/2009 11:29:32 AM
I’m speculating that she is a “Do as I sayer, but not as I doer”.

SHE talks to exes all the time, but she didn’t want YOU to talk to any exes, so she lied and started grandstanding about “how wrong it is to talk to exes” in order to elicit a response from you to ascertain whether or not you maintain contact with your exes. Good thing you said you didn’t!

SHE’S slept with a shitload of partners, and thought you’d done the same. She didn’t want to tip her hand and reveal her true “beside manner”, so she brought up the sexual history subject so she could mentally run "the numbers" around the little creaky desk in her mind. Once she found that you weren’t in triple digits like her, she LIED.

SHE is jealous of anyone that came before her. Hence YOU are not allowed to wear that watch from an exe, because every time you check the time you’ll think of “the other woman (or the ghost from relationships past). As for her? WHAT???? Give up all this jewelry???!!! She probably collects brooches like shrunken heads.

The basic problem, as I see it, is that she didn't trust you because she is untrustworthy, and therefore she was afraid of becoming involved with anyone who is LIKE HER. She is the eternal sunshine of her own self-absorbed mind and, IMO, you would be a fool to trust her or take her back.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Friend can be an Embarrassment
Posted: 11/13/2009 8:59:00 AM
Now with the holidays coming up, I am planning a party – and have seriously considered not inviting my friend, or not having the party at all, just to avoid any possible conflict. Your thoughts?

Do you have any experience or known history of your friend’s comportment at other social gatherings? Do you have any proof that they can and do behave appropriately when the occasion calls for it? If you have nothing to go on, and if you’re so apprehensive about what this person MIGHT do that you’d actually forego the party altogether to avoid possible embarrassment, then don’t invite them. I also think that if this friend repeatedly disregards any request by you to “tone it down”, then any pre-party warnings will likely fall on deaf ears; worse, it may instigate inappropriate behavior if you believe this individual engages in this conduct to “get a rise out of you”. Also, I imagine that this friend, like you, is a mature ADULT. If they do not know how to socially “turn it on or off” according to the event, audience, situation or occasion by now, then your pre-party chastisement isn’t going to make any difference.

All of your friends don’t have to like or associate with one another. People can have drinking buddies, work pals, fellow hobby enthusiasts, and hundreds of other types of friends that “don’t mix” with one another. Put this person in “The Bawdy Bunch” and accept them and love them as they are; just don’t let them share Christmas goose with grandma or they may try to give grandma a Christmas “goose”.

Edit to include: I didn't read that statement (quoted in the post above me). HELL NO, don't invite them.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Possible for a man to love two women at once?
Posted: 11/13/2009 8:06:22 AM
I’ve never believed in that “torn between two lovers” crapola. If he was in love with you, then you and ONLY you would consume his thoughts and dreams for the future. Those letters speak VOLUMES when it comes to determining where his affections truly lie. He is NOT over his wife. I don’t think he is intentionally trying to hurt you, but his head and heart are nowhere NEAR being ready for another commitment.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Should a potential LTR's FAMILY BACKGROUND make a difference?
Posted: 11/13/2009 7:24:49 AM
I bet that's what she told him - just before she morphed into her mother.

So? It still does not negate the statement that “Whether or not childhood trauma can be overcome is strictly up to the individual”. This particular individual obviously was unable to overcome it.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
independent women fall the hardest
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:54:43 PM

Independence correlates with self-confidence and the flip side of that is Hubris.

IMO, the flip-side of self-confidence is not hubris; it is self-doubt and uncertainty in one’s own abilities. Hubris is pomposity and arrogance, an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance.


But do people also think independent women "fall in love" the hardest? I'm trying to think what that might mean. Something about confidence in her own decision blinding her to any signal the man may be sending that he is just not that into her.

What, exactly, is “falling in love the hardest”? Being impulsive? Losing yourself in another person without taking the time to get to know them? If that’s the case, then I fail to see a correlation between self-sufficiency, independence and “falling hard”. If anything, I would think the person who is codependent and lacking confidence as being more likely to “fall hard”, because uncertainty and self-doubt will cause them to make poor decisions.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Engagement rings for men?
Posted: 11/12/2009 9:26:18 AM
Oh, I’ve heard about engagement rings for men. It’s pretty much the same deal as a woman’s, except instead of placing it on his finger, she slips it through his nose.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should a potential LTR's FAMILY BACKGROUND make a difference?
Posted: 11/12/2009 9:16:19 AM

In other words, in terms of your potential mate, is it possible for your mate to come from a family background that had serious issues, yet remain a well-adjusted adult who is mature, and exudes quality calibre that defies their horrible upbringing?

I refer you to the “Cradles of Eminence” study...

”There was a study of 400 famous people undertaken by psychologists Victor and Mildred Goertzel in the 1960s. They tried to see if there was a common psychological pattern that could be found in the lives of "eminent" individuals. What kind of homes did they grow up in? What challenges did they face on their way to achieving phenomenal success?

The Goertzels found that of the 400 studied, only a paltry 58 of them came from trouble-free homes. Three-quarters of the so-called successes came from challenging conditions such as a broken home, poverty, abusive and/or dominating parental figures, financial instability, and other non-abusive factors. Over 25% of the 400 overcame a handicap such as blindness (think Helen Keller), deafness, and/or other physical handicaps which drove them to succeed.

By an objective measure, it's fair to say a majority of these eminent individuals had to overcome hardships in order to get where they were, and these included hardships such as child abuse and a broken home.”

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/
The_Statistics_on_Child_Abuse_Are_in_and_They_Prove_Success_is_Possible_After_Tough_Times.html


I would even take this a little bit further and speculate that adversity could have been the catalyst that sparked their greatness. Whether or not childhood trauma can be overcome is strictly up to the individual. As with any prejudice, it is unfair to adversely judge a specific group of people based upon preconceived notions. The apple may or may not fall from the tree, but one also must remember that one bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl...oh, give it one more try before you give up on love.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Living expenses and pride..
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:59:40 AM

I'm VERY prideful to an unhealthy extreme. I find it extremely difficult to ask anyone for anything.
Is it hard for you to ask your kids to tow the line and do as they’re told? I bet it isn’t. Well, all you have to do is think of your “man” as your new child and you’ll find your voice.

IMO, this isn’t an issue of “pride”; you’re not asking for a handout, you’re asking for what is rightfully due to you based upon a verbal agreement.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
To pursue or not to pursue…
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:11:04 AM
If I was chatting with someone who was complaining about their mate, I would not pursue them, lest I become the NEXT mate they start complaining about to the next suitor they have waiting in the wings. This woman sounds like a “wing walker" (i.e., she ALWAYS has somebody "better" waiting in the wings).
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
text messages or calls?
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:51:08 PM
I think texting is impersonal and ripe for miscommunication, which makes it especially impractical when two people are trying to get to know one another. Of course, I am biased. I loathe texting, save for brief communiqués such as “Good morning, Schmoopie” or “pick up some French ticklers on your way home”.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
6 month relationship
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:43:16 AM

Frau clearly has a point, but following her advice will almost definitely result in the end of the relationship, IMO. If you're okay with that and can't tolerate some ambiguity for awhile longer, then go for it!

It does not necessarily spell the end of their relationship, but at the very least the TRUTH will allow her to make an informed decision as to how to proceed. Ambiguity is uncertainty. This man is contradictory. At the very least, they need to delineate what their respective definitions of a “future together” means. Good luck, OP!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
6 month relationship
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:15:09 AM
If your man is talking out of both sides of his arse then you need to ASK HIM why he continually contradicts himself. Call him on it and continue to do so until you get “the rest of the story”. It’s not foolish to want to know the true nature of your relationship and where it is heading, because if you cannot communicate openly and honestly with one another it might as well be on the road to nowhere.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 468 (view)
 
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/11/2009 8:28:57 AM
IMO, sarcasm is no more a “red flag” than parody, slapstick, witty repartee, farce, and a million other comedic styles. What CAN BE a red flag is the INTENT behind the joke, bon mot, comment, observation, etc. An asshat always speaks in asshattery, whether or not they “say it” sarcastically, sardonically, satirically, or otherwise is immaterial.



Sarcasm doesn’t hurt people, asshats hurt people
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Open mic night...
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:36:36 AM

I was wondering if the timing of his exit meant he was uncomfortable. And if so, could he be uncomfortable because he has a small penis? Speculation welcome.

Isn't it obvious? He...vas....HER BOYFRIEND!!!

You need to have an enormous schwanzstucker if you want to be popular with the ladies.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Do you ever think about how much time you have left?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:28:00 AM

I told her how when you are in your 40's and single, if you seriously want to get into a real relationship with marriage being the goal you'd better start taking it more seriously, as time is running out.

So, those who are over 40 better kick it up a notch before the death clock chimes or they’ll never get married? Well, marriage is not THE goal for me; I’m not looking for A man, so I can get married. My focus is on finding THE man that’s right for me, and if I am blessed and succeed, it will be that particular man who stirs any thoughts of marriage within me, for without him in my life any thoughts of tying the knot would just be just fantastical musings; nothing more than a movie played in my head without a leading man. I also consider finding my life mate to be an extremely serious undertaking, and as such I feel it would be detrimental (not to mention depressing) to try to hasten the process because the ol’ Grim Reaper is tapping me on the shoulder. IMO, maintaining a “time is running out” mindset can lead to desperation, impulsivity, and cloud one’s judgment. Again, with such a serious undertaking afoot, now is not the time for rose-colored glasses and Gaussian blurs.


I feel that every weekend that passes that I have not enjoyed myself with a significant other or even alone is a precious weekend that I will never get back.

As my focus is on finding my match and not the imaginary life I will one day lead, I don’t waste time ruminating or missing someone I haven’t met yet. IMO, it is not conducive to my life or to my search to prematurely pine for something I have yet to experience. If I were to do that, I would not be enjoying or living in “the now”. I’m not dead YET, so why should I start mourning? How optimistic is THAT?


Dust in the wind,... all we are is dust in the wind...

Now, come on rickeyes. You’re not in Kansas anymore. Try some of those Blue Öysters, then you won’t fear the reaper.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
In love with my best friend, but she's got a boyfriend
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:08:57 AM

My best friend, who is also my neighbor, and I had a romantic relationship for three months, even though she has a boyfriend 50 miles away.

Really? A WHOLE 50 miles, an entire...what...45 minutes away? Oh, I can only imagine the pain, anguish, and loneliness she must have endured before meeting you!


What do I do I fell in love with her and the other guy treats her with no respect and he is still married?

Hello? SHE is cheating on her MARRIED lover with you. What is it that you “love” about this woman, because it certainly cannot be her character, honesty and integrity? I think you are "in love" with the idea of not being alone, and this has caused you to be become involved with an unsavory individual. Desperation is a stinky cologne, my friend. My advice is to get out of Munchkinland before this witch drops a house on YOU!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Would you be with someone that you knew you liked more?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:17:56 AM

If you were with someone that liked you but you felt you were in love with them, would you stay with them? I've been with this guy for a couple months and...

You’ve been dating this man for a few WEEKS, how could you possibly be “in love” with him, you don’t even KNOW him. He is a STRANGER. IMO, your guy has a mature and level-headed view of relationships. Falling in love is a slow and steady process. It develops OVER TIME after the couple has spent plenty of face-to-face time observing, interacting and getting to know one another. If you fall in love with a stranger, the only thing your “in love” with is your own fantastical idealization of the notion of love.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Past financial debt torn us apart
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:50:03 AM

To other responder: I am on dating site is only use this forum asking this particular questions.

Really? I've been busy this AM, and it took me a while to get back to my response to this post. However, I did have a partial response made out, inclusive of your "About Me" section from your dating profile before you CHANGED it...


ABOUT WHO I AM LOOKING FOR: a well-mannered, successful gentleman who has a college education, who is passionate about life and the woman he chooses to be with. He will be a secure, happy, patient man with good morals.NO FIN DEBT FROM PAST!!!!!!

IMO, the only thing that’s torn apart your relationship is YOU. Your guy is oblivious, because you haven't talked to him. Rather than discussing this serious issue with your mate, a man you are LIVING WITH, you impulsively joined a dating site and started looking for his replacement.


My problem: I don’t know when and how start talking about these issues? If I have a right to do it in status as G/F??? If I start to talk about it and he is right when he says it isn’t of my business?

Your 47 years old, have been with this guy for two years, you're cohabitating, you've talked of marriage, and you actually have to ask if you have a “right” to discuss relationship issues? Hello, McFly? If you have the balls to join a dating site, then you have the balls to talk to your spouse and either get professional help or END IT.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
My friend and I love the same girl
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:38:00 AM
Anytime anyone “calls dibs” on another human being, it lets me know that they are not ready for a mature, healthy relationship. If you really like this girl, then go for it. If your friend gives you any beef, then suggest you “rassle” for her. If he takes you up on the offer, be sure to go “shoes off” and no kayfabe!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Parents Visting and Dating...
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:24:42 AM
If any woman takes umbrage that you are letting your parents live with you for a few months while they settle from their relocation and find a new home, then that is a sign...no, it’s a JumboTron... that she’s NOT the girl for you.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Should I get divorced?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:58:36 AM

What should I do? Judging from what you read, do you believe that divorce will be inevitable? We are both young, 24 and 20. I do not believe I can trust her any longer after seeing her sneaky ways. We have spoke about divorce and we both agree to split everything up evenly.

I’m not condoning her behavior, but you’ve got some “sneaky ways” going on yourself, Mr. Righteous, by covertly tracking and reviewing everything your wife does. Oh, and let’s not forget you’ve joined a DATING site and are listing yourself as “Single” and looking for women to “hang out” with.

IF you are truly sincere about loving your wife and wanting to keep your family together, then delete your account on here and have your wife unplug her computer, as well. Next, get yourself to some professional marriage counseling. Both of you need to grow the fvck up.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
A Plugged up Toilet, so she packed up and left?! Should I let it go?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:50:24 AM
Please, don’t tell me this is the same woman who was jerking you around all summer; the one that wouldn’t “define” your relationship and wouldn’t return your piano and laptop?

I think you should forget about relationships for a while, and focus on yourself and your kids.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
TwinFlame Vs Soulmates
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:53:27 AM

They're not. Twin Soul/Twin Flame is the other side of the soul. Souls were created without sexual assignments.They were both male and female at creation. One soul without sexual identity. It was only when these souls came to earth and took human form that the sexual identities came about. If you're male, then your twin soul(the other half of your soul)would be female, and, visa versa.

I always thought humans originally consisted of two heads, two sets of arms, two sets of legs, etc. (hmmm---think of the possibilities! ); sort of a Chang & Eng kind of thing, but with a Donny & Marie twist. Sadly, almighty Zeus thought as individual duos they were too powerful, (remember, they were a little bit country AND a little bit rock and roll). So, being the jealous god that he was, he took the advice of Yoko and split the humans in half; and that’s why we’re always searching for our “other half”, soul mate, twin flame, or George to our Wheezy.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
TwinFlame Vs Soulmates
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:00:06 AM
I thought TwinFlames were the driving force behind California Prop 8.


How can someone be a “twin” yet the exact opposite?
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 319 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:48:46 AM
Back in my day, (i.e., when dinosaurs ruled the earth and cavemen wore feathered bangs), whenever someone adversely judged a particular group of STRANGERS for a supposed characteristic, trait, or behavior, it meant those doing the judging were prejudice. IMO, to prematurely deem another human being that you have never met, communicated with, or otherwise gotten to know, as UNSAVORY is a far more off-putting than a couple of hackneyed profile clichés. So, don’t let a stupid profile maxim, platitude, motto or catch-phrase be the judge, jury and conviction of a stranger. Take a chance, go out with them, talk to them, get to KNOW them, and THEN you can justifiably and truly dub them King Asshat of Cracklicker Creek.

Oh, and be careful out there. The Face Palm always yields bad dates.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Any advice?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:09:31 AM
IMO, four months is more than enough time to know whether or not the potential for romance exists. If it hasn’t happened by now, I doubt it will. Whether or not to continue the platonic friendship is your call, but remember, you have romantic feelings for this woman, so if you remain in her platonic circle you will be watching her pursue, date, and romance other men, perhaps even fall in love with someone else.
 
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