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 Author Thread: why do none of my messages get repiled.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 35 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/5/2010 3:19:04 PM
I've decided for now its better to look in the real world. Im starting to go to my church's 20-30 home group and will start a photography night class after christmas. Also im voulenteering abroad on a ship where i know that countless people have met their future partner aboard.

It's annoying when you want it now and have to wait, but i guess thats life.

it does suck for guys on here, ive seen a new girl's profile that had over 30 messages in one day. i kinda understand it now.
If I were a girl I'd ignore the messages i get[seemingly mostly from older unatractive men.] and write to guys i was attracted to. I have recieved a few messages from women, but generally speaking my response to them is "I'm sorry but i dont date anyone over 30" or if they dont suit me, be that for location, looks, personality or race i would respond saying "im sorry but ive found someone else"

its a shame that dating sites dont work as i'm quite shy and overall a nice guy, guess ill have to adapt to the real world.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/4/2010 5:28:29 PM
in respect to dyspraxia, for me it only manifests its self in missing keys and hence mispelling words and i have bad handwriting. apart from that i am totally normal.

thanks for the advice everyone. its nice to hear girls aswell dont get it that easy, i felt that every girl must have dozens of emails a day.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/4/2010 1:05:12 PM
Terri I think I've said that i said that thing about attachment in error.

I think that we have now established that the profile is not the problem. I'm going to try to sort my issues out for now. I'm not depressed but I am very aware that I have a dysfunctional attitude towards love. for me it is a need.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/4/2010 5:48:57 AM
You don't really understand how phobias work. I wouldn't ask our a girl I don't know fairly well already so I would have a tangible friendship to lose. the first time I asked a girl out[which was when I was 22] I had depression for 6 months, it wasn't the only reason but it was a contributing factor. But it is true that "facing your fear is a treatment"

I didnt actually mean attachment. A more appropriate word would have been interest.[Basically - I hope they write back]

I have dyspraxia which causes me to spell incorrectly and forget capitols. I'll make more of an effort but don't rant at me about it.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/3/2010 6:41:41 PM
thanks for that, its really positive. I dont know though about asking them for help as i dont know them all that well.

im sure itll improve as im gaining confidence.

I still believe i would take a no very hard as its a phobia of rejection but the only way to deal with them is by testing them and finding out its not too bad.

the other problem is i have a feeling that the only girl i ever date i will end up married to. i dont see myself as able to have short term things. but im growing in that respect, it would be ideal if i'd been able to date a dozen or so girls to increase my confidnce, but i guess its hard work on here.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
no one replies to my messages
Posted: 12/3/2010 5:30:56 PM
i have the same issues. i think its because your a guy and there is a very unfavourable ratio of males to females on this site. gooduck though.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/3/2010 5:11:32 PM
dating is something which has just never happened for me. until i was 22 id never asked anyone out. in the last year i asked 2 girls out, one said no and before she could say anything else i said, ok and then turned and left. weve never spoken since. the other i asked over facebook a week before she went back to america.

im not some kind of weirdo. ive just had a shit time with things.

what sort of ratio do you get replies to. and how many conversations do you have going on. also how many dates have youhad with people on here.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/3/2010 4:47:12 PM
i also have dyspraxia. --- represents the start of one of the messages.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/3/2010 4:45:54 PM
the point about a strong attachment is an exaggeration if im honest.

the points i talked about myself were in reference to things in their profile, and usually my messages come in the format of
-mention something in their profile.
-say something about myself,
-ask a question.

and im sorry to put it this way, but i think its shit that girls wont even have the decency to say "im sorry im not interested" it takes ten seconds, so what if you get like ten messages a day, its just common curtsey.

also most of the girls ive messaged done even view my profile.

i would have given up ages ago, but beint 23 and single after never having a relationship due to a fear of asking girls out is awful. in my daily life im surrounded by attractive girls who are my age. but they are all engaged.

what other options do i have really.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
prof review much appreciated
Posted: 12/3/2010 3:59:50 PM
theres nothing really wrong with it, its just that there are at least 10 guys for every girl on here.
 jonwilliams
Joined: 10/28/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
why do none of my messages get repiled.
Posted: 12/3/2010 3:57:42 PM
its really getting depressing writing detailed lengthy messages to girls i feel a strong attachment to and never getting a reply. in about 2 years ive only ever exchanged email address with 3 girls, only one of whom seemed interest. we arranged a date and she cancelled.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=23341051

here is a selection of the 200-300 possibly around 500 messages ive sent. ive recieved replies from less than a tenth of them.

--- to a teacher who traveled abroad.

---Im a teaching assistant and looking to go into teaching, ideally at an international school somewhere.

also what's Zumba, ive been hearing about it alot, but have no idea what it actually is. is it some kind of excersise program.

also i'll see your brownies and raise you a choclate molé tart.

Ive been really tentative on here recently, but id like to express that my aim on here is do go out on a date.

---hi,

I just noticed that travel is your profession, what does that involve?

I also love travelling and am currently trying to book a ski holiday to Slovakia. Where have you been to?

Ive recently graduated from a marine biology degree in Bangor, what did you study?

id love to hear from you, and dont worry about the distance, derby is half an hour away on the train. id love to hear from you.

jon.

--- to another girl who worked abroad.
---what sort of school do you teach at and how do you fit IT into that. Im a TA at a special school and by the virtue of the fact that im the only one there who has any idea about computers ive found myself fixing computers more than i'd likle really. working with the kids is more fun.

which rugby team do you support, i'm a big fan of the ospreys and have been to watch a few of their games at the millennium stadium.

i also love traveling, and im hoping to work on a ship from september next year, and have already been to much of europe, and america. are you voulenteering The Gambia or is it a holiday.




compared with most of my messages these were really lazy. but after writing so many messages im sick of it.
 
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