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Author
Thread: Problems with the Past
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
3 (
view
)
Problems with the Past
Posted:
9/7/2009 11:06:29 AM
I would think it depends on alot. And there is not enough information here to answer this.
For instance if you are stating what happened to you, and its been dealt with. Or if you are telling him you don't like sex because of what happened.. and never have an urge for it. Thats two completely different scenarios.
Another thing.. do you dump 15 stories of your horrible childhood on him at once.. or tell him just one or two things?
And without even mentioning anything about a childhood... or old issues any of us have... a month or so into a relationship is sometimes when people walk away anyways.
When you have dated a few weeks, everyone is polite, on good behavior, considerate, trying to figure out the other person. But I have dated men a month and after getting to know them better decided they are not for me. And it has nothing to do with "issues" of the past.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
19 (
view
)
Being pressured to provide my SS# for no good reason...
Posted:
7/25/2009 7:09:44 PM
They do need your SS number for a good reason. It is directly linked to your paychecks, and your payroll taxes are deducted and tracked through that number which of course provides all the info to the IRS for tax purposes. If they are hiring you, it is required so that all income and taxes are reported to your SS number. It is also for paying into Social Security and one day setting the amount and recieving payments back from Social Security when you're older.
I also work for a national company, that was audited a few months ago by the Department Of Labor. One thing that was incomplete in some of our files was a copy of our SS cards.. it was the files from people who had transferred from other stores.
Each manager is responsible to make sure HIS store has proper files and documentation on each employer.. no matter how many offices operate nationwide.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
35 (
view
)
Why are some people just MEAN????
Posted:
6/7/2009 7:09:30 AM
I realized with my ex husband that he had to be mean to me to feel superior. He couldn't bring his intelligence level up unless he made himself feel smarter then me, by putting me down, making me feel or look stupid. And I've realized there are a lot of people like him!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
15 (
view
)
Lets Talk Politics - Do you believe in the Death Penality?
Posted:
6/7/2009 6:15:37 AM
Yes, I do support the death penalty. Especially in cases where the person was caught red handed. I think the appeals process is the problem and expense.
I don't believe that some people should ever have the opportunity to walk among us again. If they are not put to death, then there is always a chance of escape, or some parole board allowing them to come back out.
When they make a choice to commit a particularily heinous crime, knowing it is punishable by death, then they have made their choice.
If their mind is too deviant to acknowledge that they will get the death penalty, then they still have no place in society.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
44 (
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3 chores you dislike doing as a single person
Posted:
4/26/2009 7:01:10 AM
1. Putting clean tupperware away
2. Dusting
3. Taking out the trash
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
23 (
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)
Coming to a realization. I can't change career without leaving
Posted:
4/25/2009 6:12:46 AM
I am also in a transition period of my life. I closed my business in December, and right now I am working part time (25-30 hours a week) to bring in some money while I tie up all the loose ends of my business, and refocus my life.
I have to say that I am really content at this point. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week for almost 10 years. Now I go to work, clock in at 9 and clock out at 3 and never give the place a second thought when I'm not there.
I need this mental break! Money is tight, but I feel good! I feel well rested, relaxed, I'm refocusing on my home and family and spending time with my new grandkids.
My business was consuming and exhausting to me. So.. my suggestion to you would be to think about a part time job, so there will still be money coming in as you transition your own life.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
86 (
view
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Women that smoke!!
Posted:
4/24/2009 6:06:48 AM
In response to some of the benefits of smokers mentioned here. Another benefit is that we don't have those bothersome emails from judgemental people that would like us to change to be what they want.
Not because we are "weak willed", but because we are strong willed enough to do what we are doing, despite public opinion.
And Navigator... we are not "increasing revenue" for funeral homes... we will only die once, and they will only get our business once, whether we die in a car accident or from some lung disease.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
30 (
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Disappointed and dejected
Posted:
4/7/2009 4:29:11 PM
I would wonder how often the op writes to men with no photos?
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
7 (
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Young Bachelor needs Cleaning Tips! EMERGENCY CODE RED
Posted:
4/6/2009 4:17:20 PM
I don't know if this would work, but it's what comes to mind... Take any kind of cleaner (Pine Sol, Dishsoap, Shampoo.. ) with a bucket of water and a scrubbrush, scrub the area of your trunk, and then go to the gas station and vacuum out the wet area???
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
10 (
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a thread of condolence
Posted:
4/4/2009 6:53:29 AM
Glad to hear they found your uncle. Prayers for finding the rest of them too. Sorry for your loss.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
14 (
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3 Pit Bulls Killed by Cops...2 kids under 2 yrs old Dead
Posted:
3/31/2009 6:41:57 PM
If you look on Wickapedia (sp?) it has lists of which countries, states and counties have bans already on these dogs. I was looking at it just last week to show someone how stupid they were to get a pit bull puppy.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
14 (
view
)
Jello Cake
Posted:
3/20/2009 1:26:35 PM
I've done the jello cake as posted here, but without the strawberries. Texasbaby's Dreamsicle cake sounds better though! I wrote it down and am heading to the store tomorrow. Thanks!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
2 (
view
)
domestic violence and stalking...when will it end for me?
Posted:
3/15/2009 7:24:42 PM
This sounds like a bad Lifetime Movie. Him taking out a life insurance policy on you has a real bad feeling to it. His disregard for the law, and obsessiveness is another scary thing.
I dealt with alot during my divorce, the stalking was terrible, the harassmant went on for 2-3 years with my ex.. but nothing felt real life threatening, other then he was obsessed which made it scary. The fact that he wouldn't let go.
I would almost recommend you disappear far away from him. I know you have a hundred reasons why you can't leave that town, or house or job. But, if he is looking to take insurance out on you... you may end up dead. And that voids all your reasons to not leave. He didn't talk about getting a policy on you.. he attempted to do it.
Be careful.. and get away from there, where he doesn't know where you are.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
7 (
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can a person search for someone on here using their real name?
Posted:
3/13/2009 3:50:06 PM
This guy sounds like a stalker. He should be able to speak to her about it. I wouldn't offer any help on how he can spy on what this gal is doing.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
3 (
view
)
Grad dresses - prices in Canada
Posted:
12/24/2008 6:59:08 AM
I don't know about Canada, but my girls got their dresses in nicer mall stores, usually off clearance racks for about $70-$80. Shop after the holidays. Alot of stores have beautiful evening gowns for New Years and Christmas parties.
Sometimes we shopped in June, when the grad dresses were on clearance, and sometimes in October or November, when the homecoming dresses were on clearance.
It will still be expensive when you buy the shoes, earrings, necklace, hair done, tickets for the prom, photos... dinner out...
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
7 (
view
)
Refrigerated Side Dishes
Posted:
12/23/2008 4:30:22 PM
Thank you all! I have potato salad, baked beans for the crockpot, and Texasbaby's broccoli cauliflower salad (this one looked quickest and easiest after work today) all ready to go. The Broccoli Cauliflower salad is really a beautiful colorful dish!
Salmon, I'm getting the stuff for the cobler tonight, since I have most of the cooking done.
Thanks and all have a Merry Christmas!
Kathie
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
1 (
view
)
Refrigerated Side Dishes
Posted:
12/21/2008 5:33:08 AM
I am having Christmas Eve dinner here, after the 6pm church service. I need suggestions on side dishes that can be pulled out of the refrigerator and served. Or that don't need refrigeration, but can be made earlier in the day and are ready to serve. I won't have time to heat or cook anything. I'm having a honeybaked ham as the main course. Thank you!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
17 (
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)
O J Sentenced Today
Posted:
12/7/2008 4:14:48 AM
No, he does have prior record. He has been in trouble several times with the law in the past 10 years. Domestic Violence issues with his daughter and his girlfriend. He has not stayed out of trouble. Not to mention the civil claims to the Brown family he refuses to pay on.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
24 (
view
)
Ignoring the OBVIOUS?
Posted:
11/27/2008 6:04:53 AM
I have two thoughts on this. Bad things need to happen in life for anyone to appreciate good times, good things, etc. If life was just wonderful, or just the same all the time.. there would be no need for emotions.
Bad times in life do make you acknowledge and appreciate the good times. Bad times in life draw people together to help each other. They can bring out the best in people. They let you know who your true friends are, or who you can depend on.
Bad times make you reflect on what changes need to be made in your life. They are growing experiences, and reasons to change directions.
And my second thought, since I do believe in God, is that this life isn't what we're here for. All things in this short life on earth will be minimal in the grand scheme of things.
The bad things during this life do show how you handle your belief and what you do to turn things into positives. And they test your faith.
In the end, on judgement day is what determines your everlasting life.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
31 (
view
)
Christmas for a soldier...
Posted:
11/23/2008 11:47:43 AM
Cheryl... I know! As soon as I sent the request to adopt a soldier, it hit me that my daughter works at the VA hospital right here in Tampa. The same one you mentioned. I will talk to her about what I can do there too.
They are both good, needed organizations. Thanks for reminding me. It kind of went right back out of my mind when I got my adopted soldier.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
29 (
view
)
Christmas for a soldier...
Posted:
11/23/2008 10:03:54 AM
Thanks for the posts here! I signed up today at Soldier Angels and am waiting for my soldier. My daughter came over while I was signing up, and she signed up for one too!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
2 (
view
)
Former strong McCain supporter, now supporting Obama. Heres why:
Posted:
9/11/2008 7:10:57 PM
I wasn't really a supporter of anyone. I wasn't sure about Obama's experience, and I don't really care for McCain. I wasn't sure I was going to vote this year, because I didn't really feel in my heart that either was right for the job.
Until Palin came along. I was impressed with her speech, until the reporters mentioned Bush's writers wrote it for her. When you put that with her being a sports caster for 2 years, and her beauty pageants... all you have is a wonderful stage presence. Nothing behind it.
I have tried to look into her political side. I found the letter from Anne Kilkenny on the internet, that says alot of things about her from Alaska. Not much of it good. And now she is hiding from media rather then campaigning for her partner... with less then 2 months left????
It is pretty widely reported that she just doesn't know the answers to tough political, global questions. It is not about hiding her family's personal business. She could easily tell any reporter "I am not answering questions about my family".
So, no, I don't believe there is anything to her other then a strong stage presence. I am going to vote, and I am going to vote for Obama, because he may not have experience, but he can't do worse then Bush has, and he is smart enough to surround himself with people who do have experience in different areas.
I believe he wants to do a good job, and I agree with you that McCain doesn't care about much other then winning. Thats why Palin is there, and I also have a fear that McCain at 71, may not survive the 4 years. He has had cancer, and the last president at that age suffered dementia for his last 2 years in office. Palin could very likely end up as President.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
78 (
view
)
ABC's Charles Gibson lands First interview with Sarah Palin
Posted:
9/10/2008 3:01:35 AM
I was trying to research something about Palin, and I kept getting referred to an open letter by Anne Kilkenny. It was written by a woman who has known her, attended her city council meetings, and lived in the town where she was mayor. It tells alot about her. Just put Anne Kilkenny in your search.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
18 (
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)
ABC's Charles Gibson lands First interview with Sarah Palin
Posted:
9/8/2008 6:34:38 PM
From what I've read the Republicans won't allow her to talk alone yet. They said she is not ready.. and they blame the media for being ready to attack her personal life. But, the truth as I understand it is she just isn't capable of answering all the hard questions. She's had no reason (or time) to study up on all the current politacal worldwide issues.
She was a sportscaster and beauty contestant, she is well groomed and taught to make a great TV presence, as well as read a speech well.
But she is not ready to be president or VP.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
8 (
view
)
Long profiles
Posted:
9/7/2008 9:08:16 AM
It depends on how interested I am in the person I'm reading about.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
41 (
view
)
Casey Anthony taken back into custody tonight
Posted:
9/6/2008 5:25:46 AM
I heard a psychologist talking about the frame of mind Casey was in the month she was "looking for her daughter". She said if it was an accident, Casey would have been in shock, depressed, confused, scared.... But, she said Casey acted more like an abused wife who kills her husband. Relieved, free of the ties, glad to be rid of the burden that made her so unhappy.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
6 (
view
)
For All of you out there in line of the Hurricane Gustav
Posted:
8/31/2008 8:43:35 AM
There should be a GREAT response post Gustav.. its election time!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
6 (
view
)
Caylee Anthony taken back into custody tonight
Posted:
8/30/2008 6:20:40 AM
No, they didn't pick her up to increase her bail, she was picked up on writing checks from her friends account. They said it's $3000 bail, or $300 to get her out. They are just screwing with her, putting pressure on her, keeping her off balance right now. And they should. Something has to make her crack.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
12 (
view
)
do I have baggage?
Posted:
8/23/2008 5:01:19 AM
I never quite understood the baggage thing. Someone who has no baggage? A person with no previous relationships? Well, that might be a new set of luggage right there! Your past isn't baggage, your children aren't baggage, your family isn't baggage. Those are the pieces of your life that make you who you are.
Lets say you had dated alot in the last year, and two of them cheated on you. Well.. that would be NEW baggage! You may have trust issues! Who wouldn't?
My thinking is that you are lonely and looking to date again... so since dating is on your mind, it would be natural to go back to your last dating experience. I don't think its unusual to revert back to your last experience in a subject.
If you were going on a blind date tonight, it would be natural to remember that the last blind date you had turned out terrible. If you were going camping, it would be normal to reflect on the last time you went.
If your thinking about dating, it would be normal to remember your last experiences in dating too.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
6 (
view
)
Foreclosure
Posted:
8/16/2008 7:56:30 AM
Well.. I guess I can understand WhosDrunk. I know alot of people who are stupid enough to buy a house! Arrogant enough to think they will always have a job and the company won't go under 5 years later.
Or the people who are dumb enough to charge a washer or refrigerator, rather then saving up for one when theirs breaks! Anyone can tough it out for 2 months without a refrigerator if they plan well.
What about all those stupid people who got married and thought it would be forever?? Ha! Boy did they learn their lesson when half the household income walked out the door!
Then there's the idiots that get in car accidents and don't want to work while they recupperate for a few weeks in their hospital beds..
Maybe we can all learn to plan better!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
3 (
view
)
Foreclosure
Posted:
8/15/2008 8:05:42 PM
I have a family member in severe credit card problesms. When I talked to her last night, she was very upset because she got behind one month on her credit card bills, they added late fees, which put some over the limit.. for another fee... and now they want full amounts of the minimum payments plus all the fees.
Her credit is now ruined, she will be paying twice as much as they raise her interest rates, and she got her electric shut off trying to pay her credit card bills. I told her to file bankruptcy. She has reached a point where shes over her head and there doesn't seem to be a way out.
My point is... SO many people are going through very hard times right now. It is NOT an uncommon, unusual or shameful thing. The emotional toll and stress are mind boggling. In the last 6 months, our church has had 3 families lose their homes to foreclosure and one of my neighbors was served last week.
I hope you can convince your friend that its happening all over, and hopefully he can get back on his feet.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
13 (
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)
Starting my own cooking business
Posted:
8/14/2008 6:22:05 PM
Hey! I'm in tampa too... my daughter was talking about 2 businesses in south tampa that she knows of similar to this. Well anyways, your menu looks good, and the prices look affordable (maybe you can compare with the other ones in town??)
My suggestions? You have a lot of sides, but not too many dinners offer sides. So you could end up having too many leftovers of sides. (waste money)
And I think the prices of your individual dinners are too low. You can hardly eat at McDonalds for $6 a dinner, much less any other restaurant that has real food, not fast food.
I honestly can't think of any so-so dinner place that I could get a dinner for $7. Okay.. I'm thinking... You can't even get a sub sandwich with chips and soda for $7.
Maybe you could do a 4 dinner special for $30... but individual dinners... I would think you'll have to charge more. I mean really... a single person could eat all week from you for $35! Now you know groceries are more then that! Especially for good meals.
You'll lose money with all the ingredients, gas for shopping, time shopping, time cooking, supplies to pack the dinners...
Well... thats my two cents worth!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
3 (
view
)
Everything happens for a reason vs. being given more than we can handle
Posted:
8/14/2008 2:05:27 PM
I have a relative that sounds like this. She is impossible to get along with, plays mind games in pitting family members against each other, and overly needy... and shes always been a drinker. So, I've flip flopped between trying to get along with her, letting her leave voicemails so I can determine if shes sober when she calls before I speak to her... I've stopped speaking to her when she's crossed too many boundaries.
She had major back surgery last winter, so now she is trying to make ammends too. I have tried to a point... sent cards, letters, pictures... I can't really bring myself to talk to her or call her though. I have heard she is still playing her games, telling people I won't talk to her.. when she has not called, written, emailed in several months... althought I've emailed or sent cards at least every two to three weeks. So.. I (again) have made efforts to be civil.... and she is still... doing what she always has.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
5 (
view
)
Strangers at the Manger
Posted:
8/12/2008 6:09:35 PM
My guess would be that it was written either to simplify it for "baby" christians, or for children.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
10 (
view
)
Starting my own cooking business
Posted:
8/10/2008 12:14:54 PM
I've also thought of the same business since two of my daughters have offered to pay me to cook their dinners for their families each week. So, I do know there is a demand for "quick" or prepared homemade dinners. I know it would be a legal issue to cook for anyone besides my family though. I am not sure of the specifics, but I know the health department is in there someplace. There are many laws, including food certification courses. Laws on the correct temperature of foods hot as well as the temp of your refrigerater the food is stored in.
I thought of maybe going the complete legal route and opening... not a restaurant, but a business that I would cook at and people could pick up their precooked dinners between 4-7pm or something like that???? My daughter said there are already two of those places that she knows of in town.
Oh.. I suppose there are also laws about paying taxes, recording income, business license and tax ID number...
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
26 (
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)
How to help a kid gain weight?
Posted:
8/9/2008 12:29:06 PM
When my kids have gone through periods of not eating well, I used Ensure to make sure they got all of their nutrients. Ensure is also used in hospitals for tube feedings, so I know it contains the nutrients required if a meal isn't eaten. I also give them carnation instant breakfast drinks for breakfast with whole milk.
Oh yea, the walgreen's brand of Ensure is half the price. Strawberry is our favorite.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
15 (
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)
My kid is great!
Posted:
8/9/2008 12:12:28 PM
Yesterday my middle child was having a really hard day, just tired at the end of the week, and my older middle child called her and said "I made a hair appointment for you and will pick you up at 7". It was such a nice thing to do, and even though she didn't know it, her timing was absolutely perfect!
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
12 (
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)
Too much or not enough
Posted:
8/9/2008 11:43:13 AM
Are you calling her? Because if you are calling her, and she is talking to you twice a day... then she doesn't need to call you. Or... do you not call her either?
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
31 (
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)
When Horrible Things Happen to Decent People
Posted:
8/6/2008 8:09:35 PM
This is also something I have wondered about over the years, I suppose everyone has. I've had a few different thoughts on it. One of them came after a sermon about heaven. The pastor asked if we all wanted to go there. Of course that is what all Christians hope for. He talked about how perfect we imagine heaven to be... and then talked about how noone really wants to go there today! I should imagine it would be a place we should be excited to go!
So, with that thought, maybe God doesn't think its a mean or bad thing to take us home.
I also believe that all temporary situations on earth are incomparable and miniscule compared to the wonder of heaven.
I've also wondered if the pain of a death from cancer gives some people a chance to come to God before they die. I would imagine it might be the first time some people have prayed and acknowledged that only God is in control of their lives.
And since I think of God like a father (aka parent) I wonder if sometimes bad things happen to good people (not cancer) because he lets us learn our lessons on our own through our free will. Just as we allow our kids to learn some painful lessons on their own.
Romantico, I hope your friend finds peace through this ordeal, I am sure this has been a devastating diagnosis.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
21 (
view
)
favorite black man/woman in american history?
Posted:
7/28/2008 2:54:21 AM
My first thought was Tony Dungy. He is an incredible Christian and man of peace. I don't know how far back you mean in american history, but thats who came to mind.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
6 (
view
)
Caylee Anthony
Posted:
7/27/2008 6:33:18 PM
I just can't see that the grandmother has anything to do with it. On one of the 911 calls while they were switching her over, it was recorded that she was telling her daughter that she is going to court and taking custody of the baby when they find her. While Casey was asking for one more day.... her mom didn't take it, she called the police anyways.
As for her non emotional state... I just can't imagine what she is feeling! I understand her desperation to find the baby. Any grandma would have that. But.. this grandma has to acknowledge that if they don't find that baby alive, her own daughter had something to do with it. How can a mother believe or understand that?
So, on top of something tragic happening to her grand daughter, she will have to watch her daughter on trial and then locked up for the rest of her life. How can she understand or make sense of any of it? I think for her to be in shock or zombie like would be normal, and I think her desperation to find that baby... is coupled with her desperation to believe her daughter couldn't hurt that baby.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
12 (
view
)
Home invasion
Posted:
7/20/2008 5:10:56 AM
I would say to give it a little time. Any shock takes a little while for the brain to absorb. Talk it through and allow yourself to accept or sdjust to what happened. I would guess that knowing it could have been prevented gives you alot of second guesses in the choices you made that night. There will be thoughts of "what if" for awhile. There are so many ways it could have turned out.
All of its normal. That was something very unexpected that happened in your home, where you thought you were safe. You learned a different reality that night. And you learned a lesson in safety! You just need to get over the shock that was so terrifying for you. You will... with a little time. Your brain couldn't process what happened so fast and unexpected... while you were in a sleepy haze too. Just give yourself a little time.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
16 (
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tithing to the church
Posted:
7/17/2008 6:21:02 PM
Sparkopassion, Great topic! I have been wrestling with the same! I make very little money, and 10% sounds like so much. But I also know the church needs it, especially during summer when attendance is down.
I have thought about it often, and feel the guilt of not "just giving and knowing God will take care of me". I feel like I should have more trust in Him to provide.
And yet.. its hard to think of giving that much. What I have done is increased $5 a week. And... it hasn't hurt me! So, my intention is to gradually increase a few dollars at a time until I get where I feel I'm suppose to be.. .at 10%.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
14 (
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How Strongly are You a Member of An Organized Religion?
Posted:
7/3/2008 7:10:12 AM
I think in my case it has to do with the pastor. He preaches about our behavior to others. The way Jesus treated others. He expects us to be a warm and friendly church, welcoming to all. He expects us to be non-judgemental of new members. He tells us that we are suppose to be helpful to people who are living sinfully so that they may know Jesus Christ and turn their lives around.
Everything he says is Bible based. So, I think now I am a stronger member of an organized religion. Although I was always a member of organized religion I didn't used to be a strong member. But this pastor is in reality, in real life situation, in todays world's happenings. And in the way we should represent ourselves as Christians by the way we behave. He leaves it all to our own behavior, he makes it a personal responsibility.
Even if you take out the religious aspect, he encourages us to be better people.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
2 (
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Are you quick to back away...
Posted:
6/21/2008 2:47:50 PM
Okay... I understand you. I have thought it was in age with me. I'm 43, but I know better what I can or will tolerate. And no, I don't want to play games anymore, "hoping he'll change". I don't want to find the "right way" to approach certain issues, I would rather just be me and be honest.
I think it also has to do with me accepting who I am. I know I have faults, I know what they are, and I want someone who can accept me as I am. I don't want to try to be someone that someone else wants. Its kind of like "this is me, take it or leave it".
I heard once that 10% of the people you meet, you will really like. 10% of the people you meet, you really will not like, and 80% of the people you meet... you hardly notice and wouldn't notice if they disappeared, you could care less one way or another.
And it really seems to be true if you think of people at work, or church... so.. on that note, I have to understand that only 10% of the people I meet will really like me.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
3 (
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LTR's and doubt
Posted:
6/21/2008 2:36:52 PM
It sounds like SHE needs to handle it and get back on her feet. If she has no problems with living this way, then she may not be for you. Its a little strange that all of her siblings seem to still be at home living under these rules. Maybe this is just the way they were raised and see nothing unusual about it?
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
5 (
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Unauthorized parking/car alarm
Posted:
6/21/2008 8:14:30 AM
I think you should go and apologize to your neighbor for banging on their door and walls for a half an hour early on a saturday morning.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
16 (
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Abused in the past; any hope for a healthy relationship?
Posted:
6/18/2008 3:48:01 AM
She sounds like a typically abusive person to me. All abusers turn themselves into the victim when sharing their version of what went wrong in their marriage. She was probably the abuser in her marriage. Its called projection when you blame the other person for what you actually did or are doing.
You can probably see it more clearly if you look at her and her son. What she says he is doing, the yelling, screaming, etc.. is likely what she is doing to him.
Victims of abuse are usually more passive, willing to go with the flow, people pleasers, and they get trampled on and used because they can't say "no". This sounds more like you OP. Which would make her the abuser... again.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
18 (
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I have a friend working for me who I may have to let go of pretty soon....
Posted:
6/15/2008 9:51:15 AM
My thoughts as I read were to phase him out. Don't call him often, give him few jobs, maybe it means hiring someone else and reducing him to a part time status. Tell him you are giving him Fridays off because he seems to need to take care of things during the workweek, and don't call him nights or weekends anymore.
One class I took talked about making an employee quit, rather then firing him/her so you won't get stuck paying unemployment. Cut hours, switch them from opening shift to closing shift or vice versa. Just make sure that your business is covered. If he isn't doing it, hire someone else.
kathie
Joined:
8/30/2006
Msg:
9 (
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Bible and modern life
Posted:
6/13/2008 7:02:34 PM
If I understand your question.. I know one thing I have thought the bible was outdated on was debt. I think back then, you built my house, I sewed your clothes. But now, you kind of have to be in debt to own a car or a home. Even if you don't owe on your car, you may have to charge major repairs, and still end up in debt.
We don't work in our field anymore, we have to go to a job. We can't build our house anymore, we have to go through building codes and licenses.
I think some of the money issues are outdated. You can't grow all of your own food and raise livestock for meals. You have to have money now. Your children have to have school uniforms, there are laws regarding having electricity and water... and you have those bills.
I don't know how you can live biblically financially according to the laws of our land. If you get laid off from your job.. and with the recession coming our way... we can't just trade goods like in the bible.
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