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Thread: Near Death, Who do you call?

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 32 (view)

Near Death, Who do you call? Posted: 4/17/2007 1:58:15 AM
Hey FishGirl, thank you for letting me know this thread had been answered. Sorry it took so long for me to reply. By the time I saw the posts there were so many it overwhelmed me. I would have preferred to answer each post but now that would be even a bigger challenge. And a longer response then this one will be... lol So, I will answer in the way of my people, with a parable. I would like to thank those of you that have answered this thread. I also hope that those that have read through this have gained by it. I think that by sharing we may learn. Some lessons are hard come by and worth hearing. Some may be best second hand. The NDE (as it seems to be called) that brought about the question was an interesting one for me. I was living in Perth at the time. I had ventured out to the back of the local park called “The last duel park”. My exploration took me well in to the back of the park. It was here that my challenge began. It was a beautiful fall evening. A cool night with stars filling the sky. It was the end of my journey to photograph the area. I was about to return home when I was challenged by my body to go further. As it turns out I would learn that I had multiple blood clots in my lungs. This led to my heart not being able to pump blood from my lungs. Not a recommended situation if you want to live! So there I was, alone in the middle of nowhere. I had places to go but no way to move. My heart was racing and yet my body stopped! I tried to get on my bike and pedal home. I got a few feet then had to drop to the ground before my heart exploded! Lying on the ground looking up at the autumn stars. It was then as I faded in and out of consciousness that I started to call on my guides. It was at that time that I had to answer the question! Near death, Who do you call? The first person I called on was myself. I knew that if I did not slow my heart down it would not last long. I called on the skills developed over the years about self control. I called on all my inner strength to calm and center myself. I believe that many people would not die while under duress if they could only direct their will to prevent it. The next call was to my living children. I sent them a message of my love for them. I reminded them that alive or dead I would always be there for them if they called on me. I have always encouraged them to believe that they have the power of the spirit world. That we can connect through the dream realm. My next call and my last dime was to my spirit guides. I asked for strength and guidance to get through this trauma. In my case this includes my family guides, my animal totems and my spirit teacher. These talks involved my letting them know I was OK and asking them to remind me to stay on the path. I did not call on a “God” as my belief is that there is no one God. I did not ask for special favors or make any promises of what I would do if I survived. I live a pious life and would not expect anything but what my “Karma” would dictate. My that was long! And yes I did survive! Country-Mouse (formally Cosmic-Time) Live well and love from the heart.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 27 (view)

Seeing someone with Anxiety Disorder Posted: 10/24/2006 9:07:24 PM
Hey, great post. This is a topic of interest to me. First I would like to point out that anxiety disorders are very different then bipolar and/or some other mental health issues mentioned. I find it discouraging when all mental health issues are lumped together. Although One may have an anxiety issue as well as other problems such as bipolar they are not necessarily hand in hand. I have a form of anxiety disorder and it affects me in many ways. I live with post tramatic stress disorder, (P T S D). In fact I have what is called "complex" P T S D! Complex as I have been exposed to so many different types of trauma. (Oh gee, I can see that that will get me a lot of dates! lol) ................................................. Okay, now to the OP and the question of "Seeing someone with Anxiety Disorder". I think that the posters before me have given very wise and valuable advice. So rather than repeating their advice I will give you my take on this. 1, If you feel a connection and think that you are strong enough to deal with a "handicapped" person then go for it. 2, Be sure that you are interested for the right reasons, and not to be a healer or enabler. Also be sure that your potential partner is not looking for a healer or enabler. You are each on your own path even in the time you are together. As partners you must each give to the other. However, I think that you must be able to support yourself before you can support someone else. So if each of you are able to be independent then you are ready to being interdependent. 3, As with all relationships keep an open and honest dialog happening. Try to understand the challenges that your potential partner faces. Remember also that you may have things that need to be dealt with. These may be a challenge to your partner as well as you. I wish you luck on your journey and your challenges.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

Today a loss tomorrow strength Posted: 9/25/2006 9:18:23 PM
All_Canadian, I agree, Sister shiloh, you have not failed. It takes great strength and courage to help a person with the transition from life to death. It is out of our control who or when that transition should occur. But, if you can be there and offer love in the transition then you have won. Many people would back away from the challenge. Life is all about transitions. I have had the blood from newborn children on my hands. And also those that are going to the next realm of existence. I cry from joy and sorrow from these experiences. Sometimes I may feel like a failure because I could not stop the pain to the mother or child in birth. Sometimes I may feel like a failure because I could not stop the death of those in my arms. But I know that I did not fail in my offering unconditional love at those times. We can only offer the best we have and our strengths all differ. I hope that you can realize the joy in transitions and how you have helped in making them positive. Even in death there can be positive effects. Keep up the good work my friend.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 32 (view)

How Much Is Too Much? Posted: 8/14/2006 8:38:17 PM
WOW, amazing. It seems that the bulk of the answers have been tell no one! Well then I must ask, what are friends for? Maybe if all your friends are from the same office or whatever you might want to be private. But for me most of my friends DO NOT know each other very well and the gossip thing is not an issue. A casual friend you talk about the weather with! But I think a true friend means sharing stuff. Of course you must be careful not to cause heartache or friction. So perhaps do NOT tell your friend that now that he is separated you are really enjoying his X. In other words use some discretion. Now there are some things some friends do not know about me. That perhaps no one will know. But if you can not share and be open with your friends how would you do that with a partner? If you think you can not trust your friends why would your partner be expected to be able to trust you? My two cents. Hey, give a friend a hug for me will ya!

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 228 (view)

hot tub????? Posted: 8/13/2006 10:20:35 PM
I would consider going if there were musicians I could jam with. How is the music thing shaping up? CT oh I could bring some folk from Ottawa as well. Hugs people and have a good time!

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Near Death, Who do you call? Posted: 11/13/2005 8:00:01 PM
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Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Near Death, Who do you call? Posted: 11/13/2005 7:41:51 PM
Near Death, Who do you call? The other day I had yet an other near death experience. While this was happening I had a few thoughts. One of them was, Who do you call. Do you call on your god, your close friends or your self? Do you make deals with the higher power asking for an other chance? Do you look for a God that you never had in hopes that he/she will be there for you? This is a question for those that have “been there done that” (near death experience) but it is also open to those that have wondered what the answer might be. I also ask those that like myself have had to ask this for people that are on the Death Bed. For me this includes both parents and two of my children. So the Question? Do you (WE) make deals with who ever to try to bring back life? Would you ask for help from your god even if you have none? Are you really going to follow through if you beg for help from the god that was never in your life? IE; Oh God I promise to do X and Y if you get me through this... Your thoughts? Thanks CT

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

How many friends a person has.....does it matter? Posted: 8/9/2005 6:05:24 PM
I think it is something to consider. I also think you need a type "C" group. A combo of A + B. As well we need the type "D" group like "Toad4U" suggests with friends in high places. One where the person has a lot of people that are acquaintances like "YamIhere" suggests he is. Lots of people that like him and offer him favors. For what ever reason. As well as like "imadude" where there is a group of friends that can be relied on. I think I am a type "C" Many people that just like me on a superficial level. People I meet that give me that extra scoop of ice cream. They like me because I am friendly or what ever. But they really do not want to hear me when I am in pain or need an ear! They do not know my Joys or sorrows! As well I have a small group of friends that I can always lean on when needed. If I need to be bailed out of jail at 4 am and a place to crash, they are there. If my world is crashing around me and I need a shoulder to cry on they are there. And if I just want to have fun and go play well, they are there for that as well. If a person has no “real friends” makes me wonder why? "Frrosty" has it hit on the head! Are they unable to give, open up? So “mauii “ I think that is something you should consider. We really should not be the only one in a persons life. If we are we are setting ourself up for a bit of a challenge! I have an X that was a type A + D. lots of people but no one that really knew her. A bad space when she needed to share outside of the relationship. And yes it was kinda neat that my kids go boating with the X Prime minister but how does that help when she was in need of some comfort. She did like the formal dinners but other then a bit of food it gave her little! So, I would look for someone that is a type “C” as that seems the most balanced. Maybe with a bit of “D” as well, as long as I do not have to go to the functions! lol I talk to much, gotta learn to be brief!

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

PoF BAH! Posted: 8/9/2005 5:14:38 PM
Makes me wonder if he was really a sales man from the site he suggested! With an attitude like that how would he get results any where?

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 30 (view)

God must of been a woman!!!!!!!!!!! Or how to make light of a bad situation! Posted: 8/7/2005 7:29:37 PM
By the way the above post is not about encouraging sex with kids! It is about learning to be comfortable with sexuality when you are young so you are ready to be a healthy adult! By creating taboos and barriers to our sexuality we end up with people that have no concept of what a real sexual feeling is. This really should be a different thread!

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 54 (view)

Showering together.....is it intimate? Posted: 8/7/2005 6:53:25 PM
Hey, Canadian_Hottie, yes I think showering together is not only a very nice thing to do but also a very important part of the connection a couple can have. I completely agree with Montreal_Guy that “A couple that showers together regularly, stays together longer”! I feel it is so important that I mention it in my profile! I only do the LTR (long term relationship) thing and feel it a very key part of the connection that a couple will make time for. It is also a great way to gage how your partner is feeling about you. As in, oh its been a week since we showered together are you feeling OK or is something wrong? This also applies to having baths together! Here is why I feel this way. Well I guess as so many people have said I agree I do find the sex can be so very HOT. And ya, I have broken a few shower curtains and have had a few boo boos. But as much as that is an incentive to do it that is not my main interest. (although it is up there) It can be a nice time for a quickie before work or a prelude for bedtime. But it does not mean that you are always having sex together when you are in the shower! When you are in a LTR the having sex every time you are naked thing becomes much less of an issue. (ya, well I have been know to ask for a hand on occasion!) For me it is more about the sharing! Just like making a great meal and sharing that together is a valuable way to show your love and affection. It is about looking after your lovers needs. Many animals do this. From the monkey that will pick the lice out of others fur to the horse that will stand head to tail so they can swat the flies out of each others eyes. It is a natural part of looking after your partner! It is another way you may get to know and love your best friend! A way to say “I love you” with out words. The vulnerability is also a very important part of the picture. Just as we can sing the best in the shower we often can share the best as well. It is a time when a couple can express ideas and emotions on a much deeper level then most any other time. You are relaxed and being cared for. You can let your hair down and sing a song of the heart that might otherwise not be heard. Some of the greatest challenges that I have faced with a partner have been resolved in the shower. It is unlike the pillow talk at bed time as you can not flip over and do the talk to my back thing as well. My pet peeves about it! Well it seems that my partners always want the water to hot! The hot water runs out before you are ready to get out. The kids wake up just when you are about to make a mess. It is also a time of compromise! To those that say “I am to much of a gentleman” to not leave the cold spot! Well that is not what love is about in my mind. Just as love is knowing when to say “I am sorry” it is also about knowing when to say “I am cold”! A time when the water temp is balanced between, hot enough to make tea and cold as a lake in the Canadian spring time! And what about the kids! Well a little off topic but connected as well. It is also very nice to shower and bath with your children. For all the same reasons I mention above (Except the sex bit of course) it is an excellent way to share with them. But this I will leave for another thread! love your partner and love yourself!

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

God must of been a woman!!!!!!!!!!! Or how to make light of a bad situation! Posted: 8/7/2005 3:44:35 PM
I totally agree cosmic! Maybe it's time to start a new religion...where masturbation is a type of devotion or prayer? hmm was that blasphemy? I am going to hell for sure! Hey - squirrly, I think you may be on to something there. After all an Orgasm is the closest that most people will get to heaven on this earth! Just think of how it would change things for all those experimenting teenagers. Mum to Child at bed time... Mum - I though you went to bed, whats all that noise up there? Child - Hey, mum just doing my bedtime prayers. Mum – OK dear, then get to sleep remember we have choir practice in the morning. Child – Yes mum, all most done! Mum – And remember to clean up after your self this time. Don't forget that cleanliness is next to godliness. Child – OK, mum, goodnight, love you! No fears of going to hell from me. Been there done that. Made so much havoc there they will not let me back.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

God must of been a woman!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 8/6/2005 2:27:30 PM
OK, well I am posting here because this has perked my interest as I am clearly a deep and spiritual person. One who is keenly aware of and understand the deep mysteries of the universe. Oh, and feeling really silly! I will reply to the posts in an inverse fashion. Oh I see others have posted before I got this up. Sorry my wisdom has run out! GreatGuy8880 - Thank you for being supportive and trying to make sense of garylmentor ideas! lotsolaughter - it seems to me to be clear that it must have been god that sh*t in his Corn Flakes this morning. Otherwise why would he be so perturbed at his god? mrslucci - God is not a dead prophet, it is all the folk that had ideas about god that are dead. Unfortunately so many of them had their books published! sasssy - you say - IF god IS a woman. A) she'd correct your spelling errors Well OK, maybe you are right as it was my momma that always corrected my spelling. But maybe gods a guy that like me has no mom any more and had to invent the spell checker? B) she'd kick ya wee sorry ass into shape ;) I think you have the idea wrong! It is the long arm of the law, Not the long leg of the god. How is he/she going to reach him from way up there? shore66 - Would you be OK with a guy that knows how to use a spell checker? squirrly - well you are not much help with the god question but you did help make it clear what the poster was trying to say. Thanks! Crowrocker - I agree, I hope it made him feel better as well. unfortunately until this god/sex thing is resolved he will likely continue to be in a constant state of spiritual turmoil! garylmentor - What the Heck is this post here for? I do not understand? My take? Well I believe that god must be like one of those flowers that can pollinate and reproduce them selfs. Both male and female. I base this my understanding of many of the great teachings of the world! My thinking is why would so many faiths say it is wrong to masturbate. Like really I do not think we are going to go blind for such a pleasant act of self love. Well my guess is that god inadvertently got pregnant while doing so in the shower and fears that the rest of us will as well! And sorry to all true believers, again I was just feeling very silly.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

i found the woman of my dreams and messed up Posted: 8/4/2005 8:01:40 PM
Hey Nigel ; OK, well if you and I met in a pub I may be calling you an “army boy” and you may calling me a “hippy”? But at the end of the evening we would likely be laughing and stumbling home arm in arm. So excuse that I am going to be a bit ruff here. I hope you understand it is coming from a caring space. Also I do not do the quick summery thing very well! First as gvo points out above you do not say how you screwed up. This is kind of important as it could be anything. Most answers have been “give it time”. Well I believe that time does heals all wounds. BUT, for some they may never heal in this life time. Some may never be forgiven as the depth is so great! Second you say you just got back from Iraq . Well my friend then I gotta guess you are dealing with some nasty issues. These must be dealt with before you go on to anything else. I do not know what you did over there but I assume that even if you were far from the blood and stuff there would have been MEGA stress. SO, on the forgiveness side of it I agree with every one that said give it time! If you love her give her space to heal. Do not just jump in the sac with someone else so that you can “move on”! But remember you may be waiting in vain. Only you and she know if there is any chance of a reconnection. If she says no way give her that! And on the self healing side of it I would also say give it time. Now a days they call it PTSD! (post traumatic stress disorder) And I have had (have) a nasty case of it myself, to much blood on my hands. It is true that it will never wash off but the stains will fade. You may not have the blood bit but the stress is what it is about! Until then you must look after yourself. I hope your military has programs in place to help you. Use them! I am glad to see you have parents to be there for you. Remember to give them a hug! Take care and may your spirits help guide you on these issues.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 46 (view)

Are men uncomfotable when a woman doesn't shave her ARMPITS? Posted: 7/13/2005 8:25:25 PM
My thought I am compleatly comfortable with womens body hair. I prefer that women do not shave as I think it shows a confidence and that they understand they do not have to play the social games the North americian culture has created for them. Most of my partners have had natural armpit and pubic hair. Those that did shave had some real body image issues. I would way rather spit out the odd hair then face the velcro. A healthy person with a healthy diet will not smell hair or not. If there is a BO problem it is better to look at the roots (lol) then to try so scrape it off or lather it with some cover up. For men shaving the face is like a hair style. I have been clean shaven and wild man wooly. But I do prefer to have a trim beard as it is so easy to look after. If I do shave it is like twice a week. Looks good on a man but ohh so ruff on a womans legs or pits. So leave the hair on and the face paint off as I would rather know you then the image that this culture would make you feel you have to be. Oh, and as a side note... If you are going to use your partners razor to shave your pits and legs remember you are shaving about 20 times the area that a guy does on his face. So be a sport and buy your guy some razors once in a while.

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 18 (view)

can u be in love with 2 people at the same time???? Posted: 2/23/2005 12:27:05 PM
Hey, daddysgirl I should have checked your profile first. Maybe I would have said something different! If you are meaning can you have a FRIEND that you love as well as your love then still YES. But to try to convince your love that the new love is just a friend may be a challenge. Honesty....It works! Off topic... Hey I grew up in the hickville valley as a kid. Do you get out on the river much? A day on the river up there is better then ??? (That is the mighty Ottawa river for those wondering.) Hard to get more amazing then that! And about your mention of "slightly over weight" Well if folk would say it the way it is then most that say average would have the courage to say "slightly over weight". I find it much nicer to see a person say "slightly over weight" then "average" with a pic that shows a "slightly over weight" person. Unfortunatly that is a sign of the times that if you are 10+% over what you should be that you are average. Hang in there

Joined: 10/26/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

can u be in love with 2 people at the same time???? Posted: 2/23/2005 11:36:31 AM
Hey; Well I have been there, done that! YES you can love two people at once. But as "xanderw" mentions above there are challenges. The greatest I think is the fact that we have been so trained in what love is by our culture that it is hard to do something different. You must love only one person, that person must be the other sex, they must be a simular age, and the list goes on. So if you can get over all the hurdles of our cultural conditioning you can be in love with more then one person. And they need not be the other sex! BUT then the other challenges begin. Like what do you do? In my case my two partners knew that they were sharing me. I would sleep part time at both of their houses. We disscused starting a poly family. We were mature and very different from the norm. Unfortunatly, I had to do some biz on the other side of the country that took much longer then planed. One partner moved with me but the other could not. This woman and I had a great 10 years together. I will never know the outcome of if we could have stayed together as a triade. Or what may have happened should one of the women come to love an other man. But I believe if letting go of the status quo continued anything could have worked out. To make loving more then one work I think the simple key (as with most things about partners) is HONESTY. This is why affairs are such a bad example of loving more then one. Also, it is a loopsided thing as GUYS seem to think that loving two woman is OK but few guys would be OK with the wive having an other guy. Men tend to be too homophobic to make that work. That however, is a whole other topic! Another example is our X's! Do we still love them? I do. Although there may be hurt involved in breaking up if you really loved them then that will never go away. So that means that I love several women that I had in the past. Can I love the next person in the same way with out giving up my love for my X's. I believe, OF COURSE I can! I have had a few children. Do I have to give up the love for the first one so I may love the next? I do not think so. I love them all. Our culture has built a box for us. If you are brave and honest enough to step out of it wonderfull thing may happen! love grows

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