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 Author Thread: Liberal vs conserative
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Liberal vs conserative
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:20:51 AM
I don't think the two are a good mix at ages over 45. A conserative is just what they are and not willing to consider an other opinion. I think we should change the terms to open minded and closed minded. I don't think you can be conserative and open minded at the same time.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:47:43 PM
How I see it. It is simple you ask and it is her call. We have no right to do someone elses thinking. I figure it is my job to do the asking when a gal seem friendly and it is her job to accept or not.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 251 (view)
 
Are women who don't need men likely to ever find one and be happy?
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:16:52 PM
I think it true that in today's world no one needs anyone. That is way so many people are single. You may not need a mate to help with the "rent" but the coffee sure tastes better in the morning. I think people, men and women do need each other to be the enjoy life to the fullest. There are degrees of being happy. I think the problem is it is hard to make a choose if you are needy. All being said would like to be needed and wanted but only AFTER I was involved. I think it is the time-line that causes the disagreement with this topic. Surely most would agree that in a thirty year marriage both partners need each other. We all want to feel special and do not want someone that just needs and they really do not care who they find. My thoughts.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Being needed and making a contribution.
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:05:39 PM
The old need and want topic.... We are all told that we don't need anyone. I wish I had
a printer so I could print this thread to read at my breakfast table, as I eat alone. It may be a fine line between desire (want) and need but does it really matter? I think the answer depends on the person and the types of relationships they have had experienced.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:51:27 PM
Dating around ended when sex became more casual.... If without the sexual issue I would never continue to date a women that didn't want to date exclusively. This may not happen after two or three dates. How many of your married friends or friends in solid long term relationships dated around after meeting their mate. Not many I am willing to bet. How would you feel as a man or women to invite someone that you were real starting to like to have them explain they can't be they have a date. I am not talking week one but at some point in time my guess is the feeling would not be good.
I say date one at a time if it does not seem right move on or as some say NEXT
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:26:47 PM
I think it can be immediate or it can happen over time. Case in point how manny romances start at the work place. You can become attracted to a person as you get to know them. That said, there must be a spark before ther can be fire.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 247 (view)
 
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:19:57 PM
I am not sure who really wants to know about men giving up, but here is my opinion. We men are far more simple than women. We do not read the signs as well as women. We were always bigger and faster as little kids so we didn't to learn the personal skills that little girls learn. We played war and they had tea parties. If were were any good a approaching women we would not be looking in most cases. The hunt and seek is not every guys idea of a great time. We have not given up we just are moving with more caution. All the life skills, business and other wise can mean little in the dating world. We are on our own. Really have you ever seen groups of men going out to a club together. Point trying to be made is men don't have the networking groups the most women have. It is man-up, suck it up and get on with it. So in many cases we just flounder along trying to figure a game out that we may not have been great at as young men. If a guy is dumb enough to ask for advice he has two chooses, his married friends who have be married most of there lives or his single friends who if any good at the dating game would not be single. I am not saying that men have it harder, I think it is still easier to be a single man looking than a single women. I was just adding my thoughts to the topic.

Bottom line is we have not given up we are just slow at the game.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
what are the odds..
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:58:40 PM
Your odds are much better as long as we believe that our love live can change in a heart beat. If we lose the the believe that it is possible we might as well quit the search.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Over 60...Finding True Love >Fact or Fantasy
Posted: 4/8/2009 7:17:16 PM
Yes I think it is possile if we get away from the internet and get out there and meet people in real life. I will no longer write to anyone that I am not willing to drive to meet. Internet buddies just get in the way of finding someone.
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
want verses need in our age group
Posted: 3/31/2009 7:03:53 PM
With the current concerns about needing and wanting I wonder if the percentage of single people over age 45 is any different than generations ago. If no one should ever need to be coupled but only maybe want to be part of a couple where are we going as a society. I know the need/want can be a play on words but are we becoming a society of older single people? Are most of us singles happy?
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why are so many in such a hurry to meet...?
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:32:48 AM
Very interesting topic. I didn't really count but it seems the let's meet group is the largest. If distance is not a factor I think meeting soon is smart. It is nice to see most women really do want to meet in person. This should give we guys greater hopes.
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 330 (view)
 
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:33:05 PM
We want to keep POF in business. We all have reasons. First it is not easy and seems to be harder as we get older. My problem with the internet is simple. I need to deceide if I am willing to drive to the city BEFORE I even write. Why would women want to write endless emails. Asking for phone number is also dumb. It is very simple. It goes like this after a few emails. I am going to be in town next _____ would you like to meet for lunch or _______. I guess I need to man-up!
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How to start dating after 30 years of not being available
Posted: 3/13/2009 11:48:46 AM
If anyone was that good at it why would they be on here. lol I think one think to remember about dating sites is to realize the very small percentage of people who are willing to list profile, but will get good advice and ideas here. The best advice I ever had was to get out of the house and go do something you like. Sometimes I think looking for someone is like looking for your keys when you are halfway out the door. The harder you look the slower the find. lol That does not mean stop looking!
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 64 (view)
 
i think i met her today, could use some advice.
Posted: 3/6/2009 2:00:15 PM
Big BIG difference to hand someone a business card face to face and explain the reason. I thought someone was talking about leaving the card inside the van where she could find it. I think the above post is right on the money.
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
i think i met her today, could use some advice.
Posted: 3/6/2009 1:42:22 PM
I don't get it. Way so few people male or female just didn't advice asking the lady for coffee. The bit about leaving a business card for her to find seems like a lack of confidence, not that I have not tried something like that myself. lol The best time to here no is early while you really have little investment. Just my thoughts but remember I am on dating site. lol
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Daily Beer Drinking
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:26:45 PM
Having one drink of beer a day would not bother me, but I have known few people who can have one beer. Is one beer a day better than someone who can go for a week or two and then get blasted? When I was married I never cared one way or the other about drinking. As a single person I can see the dangers of drinking. A small percentage of people should not drink at all. The trouble is by the time most realize they are in this group it is too late and a big problem.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 196 (view)
 
is it harder to date as we get older?
Posted: 12/7/2008 11:51:34 AM
Sure it is harder. There are fewer places to meet. I think the problem is the meeting part not the dating or does dating mean meeting. lol It must not be that easy, look at the number of dating sites. Good part: I am only looking for one!
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Over 60...Finding True Love >Fact or Fantasy
Posted: 11/19/2008 10:37:33 AM
I read the whole thread and there is more about money than finding true love. If this is a money topic, I will add my thoughts. Why not just agree to spend current incomes his and hers and not get into live savings. My investments pay me an income every month that I would not mind sharing, but spending my assets down whould be a problem . Just me.
 JOHN.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
approaching women in public
Posted: 11/6/2008 9:06:01 AM
I think this is wonderful thread. Maybe I will start shopping in a different store everday, maybe in different stores all in one day, buy the milk in the last store on the way home. Really if men learned how to approach and women learned how to be approachable what would we need dating sits for. LOL

It is true that women will let a guy know in a nice way about the husband or boyfriend. So maybe we can all learn something about the approaching art.
 JOHN.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Does anyone use the POF chemistry test?
Posted: 10/27/2008 8:50:04 AM
Did the test. Wrote a 99% match. She wrote back and suggested we could meet. Thinking all was good I wrote with a cell number asking for hers so we could make a plan to meet. Never heard back. OK ladies what do you think happened?
 JOHN.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
What's your biggest challenge in relationship to dating? Is it something you can overcome?
Posted: 10/26/2008 12:43:54 PM
My biggest challenge is dislike of rejection. That is it! I believe it can be overcome with the right attitude. The dating part is easy it is the meeting part that is tough.
 JOHN.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Ladies, please explain what this means..
Posted: 10/22/2008 10:04:56 AM
Do the ladies out there think that maybe there are two skills to the dating game? Skill one, for both sexes, the attracting part and then later the getting along part. To me if a person can't get the attraction think going no need to worry about the getting along part. lol Remember the old don't judge a book by the cover, but to few want to read a book without an interesting cover.
 JOHN.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 131 (view)
 
What Keep You Trying?
Posted: 10/22/2008 9:50:08 AM
Because I am still alive. I think we all would like to improve our lives and POF is one way to meet. It may not be as direct as real-time but it can work. Good luck to all.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
If there is no connection, do you need to tell them so?
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:38:31 PM
I think all the gal needs to do is the handshake thing and good luck bit. I bet if he didn't ask for a second date he was not interested either. As a man all I have to hear is, this was fun we should do this again. We men need so little encouragement!
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How to date in a new city?
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:24:23 PM
New city old city, Does it make a difference. Men are to learn how to approach. I read the 26% thing too. I think in real time the odds are the women are waiting to be approached. Older women may approach more but it is still your job. Part of the turf or part of being a man.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 66 (view)
 
is it harder to find love at our age?
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:53:04 AM
There are fewer places to meet??? Too many people are looking for why it will not happen and not thinking about why it will! What we think about is what happens. I should start thinking better! lol
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Whats your line!
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:28:03 AM
If you are not divorced you are married. I think it best to walk away early and not get caught up in what is usually a big mess. If I was done with a marrage I would be divorced. If there was still hope there would be no divorce so why get in the middle of something that that may not be finished. The third party comes up short now or later.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Tired of being the till somone better comes along guy
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:42:41 PM
I read that we teach other how to treat us. Or you might just say call a spade a spade and a shovel a shovel. The fear of learning what you don't want to know is worse than the truth. I think we all have to stand up and be counted if the count is not what you like then be ready to walk out like a man or a woman.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Dating an Alcoholic
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:06:59 AM
OP After 3 months do you think you are the first one to try to help? If others have not been able to help what makes you think you have the answer? If she is a alcoholic she can't drink.....
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:01:17 PM
When I start thinking about the odds and the person lives any distance over 40 miles I get slow finding the starter button. In real life you meet and you are attracted or not, in internet you spend time and then you hope there will be attraction. If we are talking about meeting in real time the honest answer is I am too shy around women.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Help!! I dont know what to do!! (Should I or shouldnt I ask her out)
Posted: 6/18/2008 10:41:10 AM
Ask her out and see for yourself. Silly to have a china egg. You can wait forever and it is never going to hatch!
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Hitting the wall!
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:31:18 PM
The wall is in our mind. We are not going to connect with everyone we meet. We do not need to connect with everyone. Back in the old days we meet in person and there was a attraction or we moved on without even thinking about. Internet meeting is tough because we meet in person later. When I really think about all the time out into getting a date via the internet it is not very good use of my time. I think we have become unable to approach and meet in the real world and hope this internet will be easier. I think I will just get down to Walmart and meet someone!!!
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 242 (view)
 
Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:12:11 AM
In my opinion, the need for long-term relationships and marriage does not have the same value or need to many. We do not need a partner to make a living, raise kids, buy a house or have a social life. Sex seems to be the only real need for a partner and when it is agreed that no strings are attached you have no reason to date to find a life-time partner. Notice I say life-time not long-term. When we can have all our needs meet without a commitment we will have this new social phenomenon of which this thread speaks. I don't believe a word of it! Why are we all here. LOL
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
can i get her back?
Posted: 5/28/2008 11:15:08 AM
Why would you want her back? She lead you on asking you to tell her how you felt about her. What ever did she have to say? Sounds like someone is on a ego building trip at your expense.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:05:20 PM
We should not give up on finding love. We should give up on finding the perfect person to love as we ourselves are not perfect. Giving up on finding the internet, now that may be a idea.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Over Before It Began: She Actually Did Me a Favor
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:45:43 AM
I think the bigger issue here is why do we date someone when we know from the begining there are issues. People are like electricity, we take the path of least resistance and somtimes it causes hurt and pain. Just my thoughts.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:05:39 PM
I guess a women can ask. A real man will tell you what is on his mind. For men it is easier, if we ask for another date and she is busy and does not offer another day or time well that tells me to move on.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:50:06 PM
Most good men want three things. Something to do, it helps if we think we are good at it. (Our work) Someone to love and someone that will love us back.

Now if we just knew what the women wanted..... lol John
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Musings From The Over 55 (Age 57 Male)
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:14:08 PM
It seems to me that we are not all in the 9 of 10 in the looks department. The total package of the person is more than the first appearance. If we think about it we can all think of people who a first might seem unattractive but have S.O. or have lots of dates. I think someone who puts their best efforts into there general appearances
looks good to someone. Are we not really looking for just one special person anyway?
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
They Say 50 is the New 40 do You Agree?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:11:36 PM
Some were wimps at 40 and will be the same at 50 and 60. I am 63 and kid myself that my tennis game is getting better all the time. If all the parts still work it is not my job to judge that I am old.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Still in pain
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:29:59 AM
Reading this gives me new meaning to the common advice of Move On. It would always be so much easier to have moved on early. Why we let people into our lives and into our hearts when we had doubts from the beginning is the real question, to me. Now the OP is stuck in a bad position and may lose out with his new chance at love.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Question: I broke up but is it possible to be friends with the ex ever again?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:59:52 PM
If she broke up with you I would move on. You will not be able to meet anyone while you are in contact trying to be friends. Is it fair to sit around and wait for her to have a change of mind. This is friendship?
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 187 (view)
 
Why do most guys want a woman who needs them?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:34:07 AM
You are with someone married or LTR. You (man or women) wake up to learn you are a great asset and a wonderful partner to your mate. Then they tell you even though you are the greatest they sure don't need you. Tell me about that.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
So alone now
Posted: 3/2/2008 6:16:06 PM
You are only as alone as you feel. I would get to counciling and start to read some good books to inspire yourself. You can change the way you are thinking and your life will change. We are the only ones on this earth that can learn to control our thoughts. We can not stop thinking but we can learn to control what we think about. If you have your health that is a good start. Write some notes on cards and repeat them out loud through out the day. When you say it enough times you will start to believe it. If you were succesful once you can be succesful again.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
I am confused
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:44:07 AM
It would have been better to have the friends talk in person not over the phone. If she wants more friends great if that is what you want too. Maybe you should ask her if she has any girlfriends you should meet as you are looking for a special friend. That should open up the discussion. Do not expect her to break anything off, she may figure she has things just right for her. It should be you to make up your own mind.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I am confused
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:39:26 AM
The last post was it. All we have is time. I still say give in a brief try but if it is not there move on. I see no reason to contact her later to tell her about the wonderful girl you are now dating. (previous post) why bother? The friends thing: Someone told me when you can talk about your last date with the ex, you are then friends.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I am confused
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:10:11 AM
Maybe she is wanting you to try more than cuddle on the couch? Maybe not. You didn't say how long you were dating. Maybe it is not there. Take her dancing and give her a big kiss and see how that works before you follow the move on advice.
 john.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Do men feel good when they are needed
Posted: 2/27/2008 10:36:44 AM
At some point we all need someone and we all want someone to need us. The want/need issue is not an easy one for me to understand. I think early in a dating relationship I want to feel not needed as they implys that any guy will do. Later I would hope I would be needed because I am special to that person. So save the handyman list for a few months.
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Needed or Wanted?
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:42:05 AM
From a guy's point of view: If I just want somthing that means I would like it but Ican take it or leave it If a women tells her man she liked him or even loved him but she can take it or leave it, this is trouble for most men. I think this need/want issue is so different when you are trying to get to know someone. If you asked loving marrried couples of more than 10 years together about need do you think their answers would be the same as a couple just starting to date?
 John.707
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why this advice on moving on is so popular?
Posted: 2/23/2008 2:50:42 PM
We are advised to move on mostly by people who are alone and looking themselves.
We move on because we can and it is easier than getting to know someone. We move on because we no not trust our own judgement.
 
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