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 Author Thread: The good, the bad, & the profile.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The good, the bad, & the profile.
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:55:52 PM
Hmmm, well, the very first thing that struck me was the caption at the top of your profile:

"The most uninteresting man in the world"

That definitely does not encourage interest. Rather, it tells me you lack self-confidence and that's a major turn off.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
arms folding/ arms crossed pose question.
Posted: 2/8/2013 5:02:01 PM
Ditto Pinky.... it would be rather odd to walk with your arms crossed in front of you. Can't say I've observed that happening.

Crossed arms while in a social setting/interaction indicates being closed off from others. It's a subtle (or not so subtle to some folks) sign that they are not receptive to you---- even if they are smiling or nodding agreement with what you are saying to them. Both men & women do this.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Dating Younger Women: Maybe It's Not A Great Idea
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:32:32 PM
Mr. Beer...

If you mean "older" as in a woman who is in her 30s, just like you..... yeah, throw caution to the wind and see a woman your own age. You know, one who possibly shares some of life experiences that you have by your "advanced" age. Someone who may appreciate the same or similar music, movies, etc. This may amaze you, but just because she's "older" doesn't mean she will be the "laidback, homebody" type. She just might be a heck of a lot more active that you.

Someone younger may very well regard you as an "older" man & the "laidback homebody" type. You definitely could be viewed that way by a younger woman. Your lifestyle just might be a bit too slow, too tame for her. Just sayin'

If that doesn't work for you, then sure... go for someone much younger. Just be prepared for what goes along with that. There are pros and cons no matter what age you choose to date... same for her.

Good luck.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
bald women
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:52:06 PM
No, Simon. Absolutely not now and not ever.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I can't take him seriously
Posted: 1/29/2013 11:33:53 AM
If you cannot take him seriously, then why waste his time or yours? Here is a guy who has shown that he has enough interest in you to want to meet. Why shoot him down like this? If you are going to meet him, then it would be best to turn loose of your insecurities. What possible motive could he have other than he genuinely wants to meet you. Men don't usually waste their time on women they find unappealing.

Have you ever been annoyed when you gave someone a compliment, and they immediately denied the compliment, which likely caused you to try to convince them they truly deserve the compliment & you ended up heaping multiple compliments on them.? By the time you got through with that, you may have wished you had never given the first compliment to begin with. That's the old "poor me," I can't be even remotely worthy of a compliment so you'll have to lavish me with compliments to convince me. This, of course, is what someone will do who wants all the focus to be on her and only her. The classy thing to do when you are given a compliment is to graciously accept it by saying thank you.

If you do meet him & proceed to reject his attention or compliments, then he'll likely ask himself why he should even bother. You said,
This isn't a self esteem thing.
If it isn't, then have the confidence to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Have fun!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Relationships is it truly your holly grail..or an obsession?
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:46:35 PM
I'm amazed that at your age, you're clueless.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
If there any point in me carrying on with this?
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:01:52 AM
This website is simply one avenue to use in meeting someone you want to date and with whom you may possibly develop a relationship. So, don't let this be your main focus. It is not like shopping online for something, you buy it and it's conveniently delivered to your door.

You're way too young to be sitting at home, wasting time in front of a computer screen. Heck, I'm way too young to be sitting at home, wasting my time & staring at the computer screen and I'm soon to be 65. Go out with your friends, pursue hobbies you like, make the effort to speak to others first -- not just women, but anybody of any age or gender. This gives you practice at making conversation with total strangers. Yes, you will be snubbed by those who are unfriendly, but that is their problem and not a reflection on you. The more you go out and engage in activities away from home, the more likely you are to meet someone. Oh yes, and check this website periodically to see what's going on with respect to doing a few searches, sending out messages to those who capture your interest, checking for responses & then.... get back to real life.

By the way, I do practice what I preach, and can personally tell you it works.

I wish you much luck!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Am I unreasonable?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:50:20 PM

but i am too picky?
Nope. Continue to use your good judgment.


what do you all think?
I think you should be thankful that he presented the "real" him so you could make an informed decision. In other words... he did you a favor.

Your "meet" accomplished exactly what it was designed to do. Now, forget about him and concentrate on meeting others. There are many, many great guys so don't waste your precious time on thinking about a dud.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Honest Opinions, Guys...How Attractive Am I?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:41:09 PM
Your photos are cute. However, the one that is your main profile pic is not flattering (hair pulled tightly back resulting in it being completely flat on top & unintentionally emphasizing your nose). I'd recommend deleting that photo and keep the rest.

Good luck!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Some advise on how to address my relationship issues with someone new
Posted: 1/13/2013 4:16:08 PM
Since you say that you are "in a good place and READY (emphasis added) to take my new tools and form a healthy relationship," then why not do just that and... leave the past where it belongs, in the past.

Bring the real you, but if you've conquered the issue mentioned, then why drag that old baggage into a new relationship? Start fresh.

I wish you good luck!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
IN ONLINE NOW, WHAT DOES 24 MINUTES UNDER THE PIC MEANS
Posted: 1/11/2013 4:45:02 AM
Under the "Help" section, the only thing I could find about online time was this:


How do I know when someone was last online?
The Last Online feature can be accessed from your Inbox.
The time shown lets you know when the user was last logged in to PlentyOfFish. Users who were last online more than 23 hours ago will not have a time shown.
This feature is only available to Upgraded members. To upgrade, please click here.



This doesn't totally answer your question, but it does answer the "Last Online" part.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What should I say?
Posted: 1/5/2013 6:59:33 PM
Quite wise, Aristotle.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
they say they will call and dont, what to do?
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:41:10 PM
It's likely that you don't talk on the phone because you haven't called her. Try that... forget texting... it's more for friends, coworkers, etc.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
where i stand
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:35:08 PM
Try putting some effort into your profile. What you've written is not likely to capture the attention of a young lady.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Preferring short girls-does it come off as a fetish?
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:32:16 PM
No and no.

It's your preference. I'm sure you have a number of preferences as does everyone else. No harm... it's totally normal. Have fun and don't worry about what anyone else thinks on this subject.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what do i do?
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:29:43 PM
Seems like an awful lot of melodrama for a couple who have only recently become "involved." No one here can answer your questions. I suggest you talk with her to get a better idea of how she feels about you, and the two of you decide whether to keep dating or not.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Spending Christmas Alone
Posted: 12/23/2012 12:51:28 PM
You're so right that Christmas, like any other day, can be so very lonely if you're not with family/friends or your someone special.

I would ask that you consider possibly volunteering your time to help others less fortunate that you. You might enjoy serving food to others who are hungry and possibly homeless, and you might find your feelings of loneliness have disappeared. If you don't have a place in your town that will be serving a Christmas meal to those who are in need, then it might be fun to take a little drive to another town that does have such a place.

Merry Christmas!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
annoying little messages
Posted: 12/23/2012 9:10:35 AM
If you would specify the website on which you're playing, it would be a lot easier to answer your question.

However, it could be as simple as clicking on the "Options" tab for the game and deselecting automated "Tips."
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How would driving under the influence of cannabis be enforced?
Posted: 12/18/2012 2:23:36 PM
my question is would the only legal way to be accused of driving while stoned be if the smoker is observed smoking it and/or having a strong odor?


If in the United States, the "legal" way can vary from state to state because "the law" varies from state to state based on that state's statutes as enacted.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
She asks: Did you score last night?
Posted: 12/16/2012 9:41:40 PM
My questions I'm hoping you might help answer are first, How do I respond to her question??? And also, what do I say, what do I do, where do I go from here with this girl because to be brutally honest it's beginning to drive me a little bit insane!


"Did you score last night?"
Your Reaction/Response: Ignore overly personal & inappropriate questions from others regardless of who they may be. A reasonable response would be to say the party was pretty fun & you and your coworkers had an especially good time! If she continues with the same line of questioning... change the subject. It's none of her business.

How do you interact with her in the future? You've already communicated (oh so very clearly) exactly how you feel about her. She apparently does not feel the same way about you because (in your own words) she becomes less interested when you pursue her. Accept that she apparently wants to be your friend, not your girlfriend. Concentrate on being with friends (other than her), family and doing things that you like. When you least expect it, that's when you'll most likely meet the one for you. Good luck!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Soy & stomach distention
Posted: 12/16/2012 4:48:02 PM
According to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, if you eat soybeans, you may develop some mild gastrointestinal symptoms, such as bloating, nausea and constipation. Some people also have an allergy to soy and develop a rash or problems with breathing when they consume soybeans. If you have a known allergy to soy, an increased risk of breast cancer or a history of gout, soybeans may be bad for you, but otherwise this food is safe when consumed in the appropriate quantities.

So... looks like it is a well-known side effect of consuming soy or foods such as tofu, tempeh, miso, soy milk and soy flour which all derive from soybeans. Why? Perhaps you might ask your doctor.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/410223-are-soybeans-bad-for-your-body/#ixzz2FGXH4yjE

 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
does this come off as desperate?
Posted: 12/16/2012 3:09:34 PM
She was direct, tactful and honest with you in the beginning concerning her choice. Just as you chose her over other girls/women you may have considered, she chose someone else over you. Further, because she chose someone else does not mean that she will come to regret her choice in the future.

Contacting her again to ask why really does seem a bit whiny and immature. I'm with Cowboy on this one. Put on your big boy britches, and find another damsel in distress.

I wish you the best!
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Any advice on situation w/ girl from work?
Posted: 11/19/2012 4:26:40 PM
Aristotle is right... it's obvious she has a need for more cow bell.


Oh, and the best way to get her to go out with you is to ask her to go out with you on a specific day/night at a specific time and to do whatever the you think the two of you might like.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
The dreaded 50
Posted: 11/16/2012 5:29:26 AM

Does life get better after 50... dating wise?


Your quality of life (as it relates to dating) depends on you, your attitude towards men and dating. I'm closer to 65 than 64 & can tell you it's all about one's attitude.

If you look for excuses as to why you may not capture someone's attention, then you'll likely be wondering for a long, long time. Instead, concentrate on enjoying this time of your life... 50 is a fabulous age! So is every age that you reach & every year that you are on this earth. Endeavor to be the best you that you can be, and "he" will take notice.

I don't contact men first, but from reading men's comments in the forums, many like the idea of women making the first contact. If you're comfy with that... do it, but be ready to sometimes experience rejection, deal with it & move on. In my opinion, POF should not be your main focus but merely an additional source for meeting others. My experience is that men & women meeting IRL is by far superior to the online method.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I'm not always this emo
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:07:39 AM
I agree, it is depressing. Fortunately, it's also untrue.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
It could happen to you
Posted: 11/14/2012 12:00:05 PM
Congratulations that you didn't end up raped or dead or both by going to a total stranger's home.

Kudos are due to him for not mistreating you because you didn't give him sex immediately? You seem amazed that he didn't mistreat you. Actually, neither of you should mistreat the other regardless of whether sex ever enters the picture.

Congrats on finding a seemingly good relationship in spite of the obvious above-mentioned issues.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Would you be offended if I said you were tall?
Posted: 11/10/2012 11:27:20 AM

While we were slow dancing she asked me why I asked her to dance out of all the other women in the bar. The first thing out of my mouth was that she was taller... before I could go any further, she said "So you asked me because I'm tall" & then walked off the dance floor.


So, you danced a number of dances and THEN she asked you why you picked her out of all the other women. When you and she were slow dancing, it was her chance to find out your level of interest & your reason for interest in her. While you may have been honest about the reason you danced with her, it certainly didn't convey "interest" in her specifically other than you needed someone.... anyone...... tall enough to dance and therefore, since she happened to be tall she met your immediate needs--- nothing more, nothing less.

If would have been so much nicer to give her a compliment such as, "I was immediately attracted to you so I couldn't help but want to meet you and dance with you." See the difference? She did.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
ive been here for a bit
Posted: 11/7/2012 6:35:40 PM
Ann---

"Wop" is a racial slur used primarily, but not exclusively, to refer to people from Italy. It's the equivalent of the "N" word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OP--- your profile needs quite a bit of work. For starters, good grammar and correct spelling would be a positive thing. Write in complete sentences, use proper punctuation and proof read the content.

From reading your profile and viewing your photos, I understand you like tats. However, not everyone does. Young ladies you may find of interest may find them to be a turnoff.

Lastly, when people are trying to help you (such as Igor and others did), it's really bad form to be so rude. Remember, what you write in the forums can be viewed by anyone... including someone you might want to meet.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Contact message content and length
Posted: 11/6/2012 12:16:13 PM
OP---

Your sample message comes across as being very generic... perhaps a cut and paste message you may send out in mass mailings. It also has the unfortunate tone of messages passed between kids in elementary school that go something like this: "Do You Like Me?" Please check "Yes" or "No."

You would do better when contacting someone to let them know you've read (and paid attention) to their profile by commenting on whatever may have caught your attention. For example, if she has expressed an opinion about something of interest, you might let her know your opinion about the subject matter. Or... if you and she share common interests, you might mention specifically what it is. Ask an open-ended question at some point in the note so she will be encouraged to write back something of substance.

Your sample message is polite. Your intent is good... just dress it up a bit. Good spelling & grammar are noticed too.

Best wishes.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
UGLY sweater party
Posted: 11/3/2012 8:01:45 PM
Yankee and Bullie--- I found the date it by clicking on the "View All Events" link (shown in green font) just above the OP's post. The date is November 17th.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
UGLY sweater party
Posted: 11/3/2012 6:39:44 AM
Notes88 --- perhaps I'm just missing it, but I don't see where your party will be or the date. By the way, the ugly sweater party is a cute theme. Wouldn't work in Texas at this time of year (we're still having highs in the mid 80s to 90).

Edited to add: Okay, found the date in the list of all POF events.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Advise needed
Posted: 11/3/2012 6:33:59 AM
OP, since she's here on POF, she may have read your post and now knows you don't know her name. This really wasn't such a huge problem, but you may have made it awkward where it shouldn't have been. So, while it may feel awkward to "back up the boat," it's the right thing to do now, not later and not by playing silly games.

She's already aware of the fact that you didn't remember talking with her after a few months had passed. Tell her that just like you didn't immediately recall your prior contact with her, you're having a problem recalling her name. Many people have a problem remembering names at first, but they have no problem remembering faces. If she's socially adept, she'll rectify the situation.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Separated vs Divorced
Posted: 11/2/2012 5:24:29 AM
Separated equals "still married." If it did not equal "still married" then you wouldn't be having to get a divorce.

Many single/divorced women and men will not enter a relationship with someone who has not yet ended their current relationship -- in your case, your marriage.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should men cover up their gray hair?
Posted: 11/2/2012 5:07:07 AM
I think your online name of "MyOwnMan4ever" holds the answer for you. Be your own man and do what pleases you. You cannot and will not ever be able to please everyone else.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Wins lottery after GF dumps him
Posted: 11/2/2012 4:49:08 AM
As his girlfriend, it's more likely than not that she knew he wasn't a wealthy man while she was his girlfriend since he had to work "two jobs to make ends meet". Therefore, his money (or lack thereof) was not key in her relationship with him. People break up because something has caused the relationship to decline.

Now, all of a sudden that he has money, there are those who may relish the idea that she is an idiot for leaving him. Poetic justice for what? It's not like she committed some crime... she simply did what many of us have done and that is end a relationship that isn't working. Just because he has money, that does not make him the ideal man for a relationship. Those who think he's somehow superior now that he's wealthy have got it all wrong. Retaliation is an ugly thing.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
question- just because maybe your drawn sexually-
Posted: 10/31/2012 10:47:40 AM
OP-- you're 48 years old and have to ask such a question? Amazing.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Need Help With With My Messages.
Posted: 10/24/2012 4:44:16 PM
I'm not sure what "man" messages are, but it may be confusing to the men you write because your profile states you are looking for a woman. Clearing up that first might help.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What the Point of a Dating Website When you dont reply
Posted: 10/22/2012 6:07:41 AM
From your profile:
Your "Interests": Firefighting medical 911 dispatching

Your "About Me" section:

Pretty laid back, easy going, love spending time with my mother and other family, looking for a women you can take a joke better then any others and be prepared to be given a hard time by my family, and who would also enjoy spending time with each other, hanging out at her or my house. I am also getting really tired of being ignored, at least tell me your not interested!!


Now, I haven't been a young lady for many years but I can tell you that if I were, there are two glaring things that would make me run the opposite direction.

1. You apparently have no interests other than your work. (see your "Interests" section quoted above.)

2. You "love spending time with my mother"... and your future girlfriend should also be "prepared to be given a hard time by my family," and last but not least, you just want to hang out at her house or your house.

Hmmm, a young lady is probably more interested in dating you rather than spending time with your mother & your other family members at home. First and foremost, the two of you should be getting to know each other, and be out having fun, not just sitting at home & hanging out with your family. I'm sure your mother is a wonderful person, but for most of us, there just isn't room for 3 people in a romantic relationship.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Help with Korean Girl.
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:54:42 AM
You posted this in another recent thread..."How to tell if a girl is not interested in you"


Generally, when someone is interested they will initiate contact and keep the conversation moving.



So, it would seem that you already have an idea that if she doesn't return your message, then she isn't keeping "the conversation going." Generally, that would mean a lack of interest.

Rather than another text, why not give her a followup phone call. If she doesn't want to talk very much or if you have to leave a message & she doesn't return the call then she's sending you a very clear message of no interest.

I know your user name is "im2n10s4u" but perhaps now is the time to try to not be so "intense" towards her or any other woman you are interested in. It can really be unattractive.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is there a cause for concern
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:03:44 PM
Ah yes, another episode of "As The Stomach Turns."
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Backing off without scaring him off completely?
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:40:04 AM
I'm a little confused as to why you think so little of yourself that you would participate in a relationship with a married man. You have all the answers. You can see that you are being used and yet, you want to know whether you should still contact him. Simply amazing.

Here's a little summary:

1. I met a guy on here over 2 months ago.
2. He's separated but has no baggage. (Every human alive has baggage or they've somehow lived in a bubble.)
3. Two weeks into courtship he lets you know the two of you have clicked so fast but he's not ready to commit.
(translation--- he gives you a compliment plus dangles the possibility of a relationship with him if only he were able to commit--- poor fellow, he's a "victim" in all this)
4. He sees you a fortnight or about every two weeks ( he can manage sneaking away from his wife a couple of times a month without raising too much suspicion--- why? because they are not really separated)
5. His wife is with another man & yet, she becomes jealous and angry when she sees emails between the two of you. (Ask yourself, "does this seem logical?" She saw the emails because they live together as husband & wife. Convenient how she is painted as the villain isn't it?)
6. He can't get a divorce because of financial reasons. (Hmmm, guess he had to switch his story & supply an excuse to ensure that he could still use you without you wanting the relationship to proceed as it normally would between two people who are actually available -- meaning two people who are single, not just separated. Separated means still married.) I'll just bet you've never been to his home -- that's because his wife lives there.

This man is probably shaking his head in wonder that he can get what he wants from you, that you believe the lies he manufactures PLUS even though you are an intelligent young woman, you choose to ignore just how lopsided this whole thing is.

Question: What could you possibly get out of this long-term?
Answer: Heartache, low self-esteem, & the knowledge that you made it possible for this man to cheat on his wife.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Should I ask my friend if I can date her ex husband?
Posted: 10/14/2012 4:58:48 AM
Based on what she told you

her divorce was due to the fact they were both too young
it sounds as though she has moved on & doesn't hold negative memories of him.

You said, "when we reconnected," so that means you & she haven't remained in touch throughout the years. However, if you still want to maintain your friendship with her, then you have a decision to make. If you are truly good friends, you should be able to talk to her about anything without fear. You could tell her exactly how you discovered while on the date that he was her ex & let her know that he is still interested in seeing you. Based on her reaction, you can then decide what to do. Since it has been so many years & since she and he were so young, she may not care at all.

Make an informed decision, not one based on fear & conjecture.

Good luck.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How to tell if a girl is not interested in you?
Posted: 10/12/2012 10:38:26 AM
I'm thinking why is she still on the dating site so much after we went out? So I text her the following to teasingly let her know that I wanted her to give me a chance; and not to be looking for anyone else.

Me: Man, you are always on {dating site} :-) I'm right here. No need to look!
Her: We meet only once. This does not mean I am exclusive to you.
Me: I know. I'm just teasing you. Keep looking till you find who you're looking for.
Her: I do not need the tease.



OP-- a couple of things. The reason you texted her was because you were wondering why she was on the dating site "so much" after she met you. Has it occurred to you that you would never have known she was on "so much" unless you were also on "so much?" You were "watching" her & scrutinizing her actions.

Your text was to let her know you were displeased, to gain her agreement to stop being online "so much" & to be reassured that she was just as interested in you as you are in her. When you didn't get what you wanted, you then tried to pass it off as "teasing" & have referred to her in a vulgar way.

What you texted was not humorous.... it came across as creepy, clingy, and desperate. Before lashing out at her, take a look at yourself & your behavior.
 flaxenblonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
The representative has gone away
Posted: 10/12/2012 10:18:40 AM

I met my wife through a sex/swinging site (AFF) and our relationship up to and past our wedding was an open one. While I'm sure that repulses many of you, it didn't bother either of us because we were always first for each other...in all ways. That has degraded steadily over four years (the last two with children) and it shows no sign of reversing or being a temporary phase.

I abandoned my thoughts about an open relationship because my first priority is to be primary to and for my wife.


You started a relationship with a revolving door for both of you to have intimate encounters with others. Then you say YOU abandoned your thoughts about an open relationship because you want to be #1 with your wife. Perhaps having an open relationship wasn't such a good idea after all. Your greed to have it all has backfired.

Sounds like she has found someone else who is # 1 with her, instead of you. That would be a logical reason why she is distant and not interested in pursuing a monogamous relationship with you four years later. I'd say you knew the risks when you entered into such a relationship & now you're upset that she's happy with things as is & you're on the back burner so to speak.

I don't feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the children the two of you brought into such an empty vessel of a relationship.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why do you girls keep flaking out?
Posted: 10/12/2012 8:45:43 AM
OP,

Your date ideas would be great IF the woman already knew you, was attracted to you, wanted to be with you longer than the typical "meet," and knew she would be safe in your company no matter where the date would take the two of you. The boating idea--- not a good idea for a woman to get on a boat with a total stranger. Inviting a woman to what she may perceive as a risky meeting is likely to send her running in the opposite direction. It can immediately make her question your motives.

I would suggest that you offer to meet women in a very public place of their choosing. That will let her know you are considerate of any possible safety concerns she may have. Once the two of you have met, don't put her on the spot by asking her questions such as "So, do you like me and want to see me again?" She may not give you an altogether honest answer to simply avoid a negative reaction from you. Give yourself (and her) time to decide whether you want to see each other again. If you do, then call her the next day or so & ask her out. If she agrees, then you know the attraction is mutual. If she declines, then you haven't wasted too much of your time.

Your profile is cute but there's room for improvement as far as the photos.

Good luck.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The purpose of a dating site...
Posted: 10/11/2012 5:36:55 PM
Odd you would say that because I was just thinking that if you're a boy, a dating site is like Facebook on crack. If you're a girl, a dating site is just a waste of your time.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Trip to St Pete's Beach
Posted: 10/11/2012 12:06:35 PM
This is my last stab at it.

Big Mike --- (Crooner Michael Lynche). Signed with Big3 Records in St. Petersburg. There's a photo of him with the article referenced below.

Info. from article by Sean Daly, Times Pop Music Critic
In Print: Thursday, August 16, 2012


<div class='quote'>There's a whole lot to love on Michael Lynche, the debut album from St. Pete's own R&B teddy bear. The likable leviathan who made a fourth-place run on the ninth season of American Idol gamely follows in the tradition of husky crooners Luther Vandross and Barry White, big men with big voices, big smiles, big hearts....

...Lynche is a sweet coup for local label Big3 Records; the St. Pete studio finally gets a young, budding talent it can build around. This guy could truly be a star someday. Maybe Big Mike still works as a nickname after all.

You can Google his name & find much, much more on him.

Good luck.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Trip to St Pete's Beach
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:18:11 AM
Micheles ---- Check this out on You Tube -- Big Mike singing Simple Man At Corner Tavern

Is this your guy?

I googled it and found the Corner Club Tavern is in Tampa.

Hope ya'll have fun!!
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Ordering a drink during dinner
Posted: 10/11/2012 7:35:31 AM
3ffervescent---

Huge mistake? Nope, I think it was a great idea to meet where you did. You very quickly learned something rather important about him & I'm sure that helped you easily make the decision as to whether you cared to ever see him again. I'd say you did just fine.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I need some honest feedback....
Posted: 9/30/2012 9:01:25 PM
As others have said, a profile review would be a great idea. Also, I'm curious as to whether you would be attracted to women who have nothing but photos of them frowning, looking mean, or simply like they're ready for a fight. Just sayin'...
 
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