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 Author Thread: Is this a scam?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is this a scam?
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:28:58 AM
Vestaceres... and some people wonder why others are reluctant to post a photo online...
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
SCAM
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:26:36 AM
It was a scam to get your phone number. That way they could call you to advertise. If this was the only reason, you got off lucky. With your home phone number, they could do a reverse phone number search and get your name and address. Who knows what might happen after that.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 78 (view)
 
I run into nothing but scammers and conartist
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:24:07 AM
Ohenry, you did right. A newspaper article just recently had an article by Ryan Tumitly of Edmonton, Alberta... While the online dating word is full of opportunities, it can also be full of peril. Police have noticed that the excitement that comes with online romance can attract the wrong type of people - those who may cause physical or financial harm. Acting Sgt. Kathy Macdonald with the Calgary Police Service said new relationships sometimes prevent people from seeing the bigger picture. When people get wrapped up in a relationship, they can't see what's going on. Macdonal said fraud artists using online dating sites can go after many potential victims in just one day. According to Macdonald, scam artists often approach someone and strike up a conversation before claiming to have run in to sudden and unexplained financial difficulties... Listen to your intuition and be aware of your surroundings she advised. Really, you do not know that person; you do not know who is going to show up.

________________

Thanks Ohenry for enlightening us on just another spin on the old I need help, can you lend me money game.

_________________

There are lots of bad guys out there. BUT, there are also some good ones. It is quite a challenge sorting the wheat from the chaff, eh.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Which Dating Websites Have Good Results?
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:09:44 AM
From a recent newspaper article titled Should You Pay To Play The Dating Game, by Ryan Tumilty (Edmonton, Alberta)

When preparing to jump into the online dating universe, is it better to jump in with just your heart, or with your wallet as well?

As online dating sites have cropped up, some have opened their doors to members free of charge, while others have monthly subscriptions for those looking for love.

Kimberly Moffit, Match.com's relationship insider, argues that paid sites are there for more committed individuals who are interested in serious relationships. "It just distinguishes the people who are willing to put the investment in and those who aren't" she said. Moffit argues that any online dating is a good thing, but people on paid sites are more likely to be taking their search seriously.

Christine Hart, a Toronto based dating coach, said both types of sites have advantages, but free sites tend to attract a different type of prospective dater. People going on free sites need to be prepared to put in a lot more time sifting through, because the free sites attract people with all levels of goals. Part of the benefit of paid dating sites is that they attract fewer people. You spend twice as much time sifting through profiles on the free dating sites.

Julie Spira, author of the book The Perils Of Cyber-Dating, said she and her clients see benefits to both types of sites. It is very common for someone to use a paid site and then they will also pick a free site. She said free sites attract huge numbers of people, which can be appealing simply for the sheer quantity of prospective partners. She said clients who pay for a dating site tend to pay more attention to the service. I find that a lot of them log in to their paid sites more often because they are invested.

_________________________

So it all boils down to what are you doing on a dating site. If you are truly serious, the more you spend indicates the more serious you are. In other words, if you are only on a free site, you are a cheap bugger who is looking for something for nothing.

Results are graded by the individual, not by statistics. Some are lucky; many are not !
 life_is_better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
 
How to politely ask
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:32:50 AM
Well said, Paderic. Truer words were never spoken.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How did you meet your best friend?
Posted: 2/16/2013 8:58:57 AM
That's why I am here on POF. Trying to find mine. I suspect there are a lot of us here on POF for the same reason.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Favorite documentary?
Posted: 2/16/2013 8:57:10 AM
For a different documentary, check out "A Good Man" on TVO.org. It will change your perspective on a few things.

A good thread. Thanks all for the various documentaries to check out. You and the documentaries point out that there is some decent television shows to watch these days.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
So I made a POF account...
Posted: 2/16/2013 8:15:53 AM
... just another dreamer amongst all of us dreamers here on POF, thinking that fairy tales really can come true...

Oh well, the School of Life will soon educate him and provide the knowledge that things are not always easy.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 997 (view)
 
would you marry for money?
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:39:59 PM
I just recalled Harry Chapin's song Taxi which speaks to this topic.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Bipolar: Detectable During Dating?
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:16:04 PM
I know my brother - and his family and his friends - all wished there was a way to detect BP tendencies. The drama he has gone thru - and then us as interested in his well-fare bystanders - in the last few years is tooooo much. He went in to the relationship with good intentions. He must be masochistic as he is still there for her. But we all wish he wasn't - not just for his sake, but for ours as well.

This is a valid topic in that those with BiPolar problems sure are not going to advertise it when looking for a SO. They will do everything to hide it; it will only come out after considerable time. Then... watch out.

It is because of this particular problem that the phrase men say about women came about "you can't live with them; you can live without them". Some people are truly better off being single.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Edmonton couple wins $100,000 prize in Plenty of Fish wedding contest
Posted: 2/14/2013 1:10:08 PM
I was wondering who won the money.

I wonder if Markus will run a contest with some decent prize money for the male and female who have been on POF the longest searching for their SO?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:02:25 AM
Yes... Happy Valentines Day ! to all us dreamers here on POF. If only the universe would be kind to us single folk...

By the way, I see EHarmony is free this weekend. Given the lack of interest we have received on this site, do you think the prospects are better over there??
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 991 (view)
 
would you marry for money?
Posted: 2/14/2013 7:43:41 AM
Yes. It is better to be rich and unhappy, than poor and unhappy. (From a gal whose husband walked out on her and their three young daughters.)

And as for me... given the current state of my affairs, it would be as good a reason as any to get married.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 80 (view)
 
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 7:38:46 AM
I saw a TV show last night that I believe is relevant to this question... It was A Good Man (seen on TVO.org). It is about an Australian man who starts up a brothel in order to look after his family financially. It was interesting to say the least. I will not try to describe the hour long show here; suffice to say, many would criticize him for what he did. The criticism would be based on our concepts of morality and other aspects. What I am getting to is that each person sees personality and character in different ways. As with most things, the individual's social, educational and financial position will influence his/her take on things.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
We owe Marcus a vote of thanks...
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:39:05 AM
It appears that many here are more cynical about why Markus started POF, than those, like me, who would like to think that perhaps there was an altruistic reason behind his actions. While mine was a gut reaction, as I do not know Markus and never will, I have little in terms of documentary proof to back up this idea.

I am just a dreamer for the most part, given the world as it is today - meaning the concept of altruism is rare today - with most people thinking "me, me, me". I do like to dream though, of a better world. I shall follow the advice of a T-shirt I was given "Keep the dream alive. Go back to sleep!"
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is this online dating really helpful?
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:31:25 AM
Success is usually determined by luck. While luck can not be "made", it can be influenced by the effort put in to something (e.g. most successful people will say that they get luckier as they increase the effort put in to whatever it is they are doing). Remember the old motto "if at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again".

Good Luck !!! (Something we all need in life!!)
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
 
What do you do when you get a nude pic?
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:28:05 AM
I'm reminded of a poster that a gal at work had posted by her desk... "Sexual harrassment will not be reported; however, it will be rated". Try that approach and see what happens. Please let us know the results.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
I've Never Had An Orgasm During Sex..... :(
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:24:09 AM
If I may be so bold as to suggest that, if this is a concern of yours, then a visit to a sex therapist might be in order. It could be an investment well made for you - something you will benefit from for the rest of your life (e.g. one of the things you would learn is better communication skills in regards to helping your partner provide you with what you would like/need); some of these skills would be transferrable to other aspects of your life as well.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:17:38 AM
Generational Error - you brought to mind the movies Before Sunrise and the sequel to it, Before Sunset...

As with most things in life, decisions have to be made. But given that each of us is an individual, made up of many different things, each person has to make their own decision. Others may judge, but that is a human condition. We all have to live with ourselves, so the decision is ours to make.

Sex is a primieval drive in all of us. Some are more inclined to want it or need it than others. To be clear, one can have sex without love; just as there can be love without sex. Most of us are guided in terms of sex by our upbringing, followed by our life experiences.

My experience with one gal some time ago was - we met through a dating ad in the local newspaper (remember when you wrote up the ad and it was published in the paper with a FSO (for singles only) number identifier and you wrote a letter, enclosing a dollar to the newpaper who forwarded it on to the ad originator?) - in her letter she stated that she was "slightly over-sexed". I was naive about what that meant, but on our second "date" I found out. Twelve years later we parted ways. That was her and I. But with that experience, I am now a changed person.

As many have written, what is right for some is not for others. The two individuals involved in a relationship have to decide what is right for them as far as it goes in terms of when (or if) to initiate sex.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 88 (view)
 
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:57:56 AM
I just heard about this book on the John Tesh radio program this morning... "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb. It is not a recent book. In terms of this thread, it might be worth checking out.

As far as being alone, each person comes in to this world alone, and exits the world alone. It is the interval in between that we are discussing. Each individual will have to decide what is needed in order to get through this life (i.e. do you need someone to hold your hand) and then make sacrifices to make it happen (e.g. perhaps settling for Mr. Good Enough). Everyone has to make decisions, but many of us like to live in a dream world (like the world of POF forums). I say this because I find it hard to believe that the OP has trouble meeting eligible guys (but then, I am not a good looking woman that has to fight off the viking hordes). The bottom line... one is only as alone as he/she wants to be.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Gentle Guys
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:47:25 AM
Gentlemen and gentle men. They go together.

But what comes out of this discussion is "different strokes for different folks".
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Exchanging Mr. Right for Mr. Good Enough
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:29:43 AM
I just heard about "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb on the John Tesh radio program this morning. What came to mind was the adage "there's no use striving for perfection in a non-perfect world".
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The Lost Art of Dating
Posted: 2/10/2013 9:05:53 AM
I just read in the paper this morning that "dating coaches" exist. These folks make upwards of $300.00 an hour. People use these coaches to learn how to date. The target client is university graduates. Clients are trained in the lost art of courtship - sending flowers, accepting a compliment and light flirting. It would seem that the issue is that men have forgotten how to ask a woman out on a date. Many people only know about courting from watching old films. I did not know that such coaches even exist, much less how to go about locating one and then selecting one to help me.

I'm just wondering if anyone has used a dating coach and what results you had. Is it worth the effort and cost?

Or is this similar to financial advice, lots of glib folks spouting gibberish with little to show in the long run???
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Do you ever think it's just Fate?
Posted: 2/8/2013 8:08:31 PM
All this talk about fate... and chance, and luck, and destiny and karma... but no mention of The Universe.

Funny thing is, when I was growing up I never heard any of these words used. Now I believe it (substitute which word you prefer of those above) is what rules/controls our lives - nothing else. No amount of wishin', hopin' or dreamin' is gonna make things happen.

And any attempt I do make here on POF gets rebuffed. What's a guy to do??
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 150 (view)
 
What makes men fall in love with a woman?
Posted: 2/8/2013 6:57:25 PM
Different strokes for different folks.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Have you ever wanted to write a book (a fiction story)?
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:05:29 PM
I finished reading a John Sanford book last evening. It occurred to me that it would be neat to write a fiction story. One gets to choose the characters and their personal characteristics, what they look like, how they interact with one another. I'm watching the TV series The Wire right now; in it's own way it is a story which is less about the solving of crime and more about the characters who are involved - the good guys and the bad guys. Thinking about it, movies and books are mostly about the people. It never struck me like it did last evening how neat it would be to create my own story. I guess, like a lot of things, it only came to me now that I am older and have more life experiences to draw upon - when one is young, there really is not much in one's life other than the personal drama that life brings on a day-to-day basis. Getting older provides much more information about the world and the people in it.

I think the biggest thing that I thought of first is whether or not I would have the self discipline to actually sit down and write something. Getting started is a challenge. Coming up with a story line too. Lot's of reasons why not to try to write. But the idea of creating something intrigues me - perhaps simply as a way of passing time (how to pass time being the biggest challenge of folks who are retired, in my experience). You would own the characters and their character. You get to make them anything you want. And so on...

Have you ever thought you might like to write a book?? What stopped you from trying if you did? If you did get started, why did you not finish? Or if you did finish it, did you try to get it published?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 2/8/2013 9:51:04 AM
Sorry to be picky Chris, but it is not idealism, it is dreaming. It is nice to dream though.

I saw this on a T-shirt "Keep the dream alive; go back to sleep".
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Where are all of the travelers!?
Posted: 2/8/2013 9:41:46 AM
I like to travel. That said, due to lack of anyone to travel with (I do not think it prudent to travel all by oneself - it is good to have a companion and in case of emergency, an advocate), I do a lot of my travel in my arm-chair. Thank goodness for the internet.

A good friend recently moved to the Philippines and married a gal there. I have checked out that country and it would be a neat place to visit, and even live. It's a big, big world. We're lucky to be living in these times.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Communicating by phone before meeting Personally
Posted: 2/8/2013 9:31:27 AM
Good old common sense being spoken here. Giving out a phone number is NOT a good idea. Many people do not realize that using the reverse phone number tool, their name and address is available. I would suggest setting up a Skype account and speaking over the internet using a fake id like here on POF. Arrange to meet in person and go from there. One's intuition is better when facial expressions are there to be seen.

Be safe, not sorry.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/8/2013 9:16:40 AM
Sometimes, nice things come in small packages. The converse is also true.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
What kind of relationship are you looking for here?
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:10:24 PM
Hi Folks. Turns out there is a term Catfish that applies here; I found this in the Over 45 forum, the thread called The "Catfish".... "A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances." I too had never heard of this term.

It would be nice if online dating sites had a mechanism for identifying those who do not have good intentions towards dating IRL. Not likely I realize, as money is made for every page viewed (query to self: how does Markus make money off the forums with no advertising??). But one can dream in many different ways.

The question becomes, how should one deal with a "catfish"?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 663 (view)
 
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/6/2013 5:37:56 PM
One might be cautious about posting a picture simply because he/she is aware of the consequences. As I found in another thread, a gal wrote " I also found that my photos were being used in somebody else's profile on a social networking site in another nation state." As the POF moderators will tell you, anything posted on the internet that another person can view, can be copied and used.

IRL people used to go on blind dates; some still do.

No pic on a dating site? Arranging a meeting in a safe place (e.g. a coffee shop) and treating it like a blind date... Only you can tell. Only you can decide if it is worth the risk.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 97 (view)
 
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 2/6/2013 5:28:28 PM
Reading the forums has not affected my "dating life" at all. I did not have A date before I started reading; I still do not have a date. There are no easy answers provided in any of the threads I have read to inform me how to go about getting a date, much less a "dating life".
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 100 (view)
 
How important is a Good Photo..??
Posted: 2/4/2013 3:49:11 PM
It's too bad that we can not identify profiles in the forums, for there are some with excellent photos - and not of the cheesecake variety either. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words - and in some cases as far as eye appeal on a dating site goes - worth more. I just came across one of a gal that was so "elegant" - the picture of her was tastefully done, a good shot of her face, dressed up with makeup yes, sitting at a restaurant table probably, smiling for the camera while holding a wine glass. One just wanted to check out her profile. (Too bad she lives far away from me otherwise I would send her an email telling her the above.) Simply put, if one is serious about "dating", a good photo is essential and worth the effort to have and provide.

It would benefit this thread if there was a way to show examples of how to pose a good photo - not a professional shoot, but a decent, simple shot anyone could take. While there are some here on POF, they are rare. It is easy to say what to avoid in a photo. I do know that in the case of many photos, people need to have some positive criticism for many photos turn people off instead of attracting their eye and interest.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
body language and liars
Posted: 2/4/2013 3:29:54 PM
I wanted to provide this list on 'Ten Ways to spot a liar', so I found this old thread to use instead of opening a new one and risk it being deleted as being redundant (something folks like to do a lot these days it seems - delete new threads because they like to power trip... sorry I digress).

I came across this article in the newspaper about Dr. Stephen Porter who investigates lying; he tells us ten ways to spot a liar are:

- Liars tend to stare too long and too hard;

- Overly controlled, rigid body movements (few hand and arm movements in order to avoid looking nervous);

- Liars blink, on average, nearly twice as frequently as truth-tellers;

-Increased speech hesitation (more "ums", "ahs", and "ers" in their stories;

-They use more tentative words such as "maybe", "guess" or "perhaps" (avoiding commitment to the lie);

-Absence of distress or sadness in the upper face;

-More lower-face happiness (a smirk wen attempting to appear sad, for example);

- Slower speech rate and longer pauses (allowing more time to construct a plausible story);

- More likely to raise their eyebrow;

False smiles; muscles contract around the mouth only, no contraction of the muscles around the eyes,

Hope this might be of some help in spotting a liar you come across. Just one more reason why meeting in person is so important IF one is really on POF to get together with someone.

But, if you are a con artist, now you have some tips on what to watch out for in yourself and what to change to improve your game.

Who ever said life was easy???
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 3731 (view)
 
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/4/2013 10:40:28 AM
Boy, some of these threads provide great reading. Some of the dissertations in this one are thought provoking; some put one to sleep. Lot's of different ideas and approaches to this topic, that's for sure.

As with most things in life I have found, it is up to the individual's background (social, religion, educational, financial) and most of all to his/her experience. Life can be hard on some people; for other's it is easy street. Beyond the search for knowledge, life provides information to each and everyone in a personal way; how we interpret and use that information makes us what we are. All that and more goes in to responding to a question such as this.

That and LUCK. If one is lucky and meets a gal that wants to hop in to bed... On the other hand, her background might mean having to wait - whether you do or not depends on what you want.

It would be nice if the "rule" that 'sex on the third date' held true, BUT... I don't know where it is written, does everyone play by the rules, aren't rules made to be broken, etc.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 96 (view)
 
How important is a Good Photo..??
Posted: 2/4/2013 8:55:34 AM
Markus and his staff will tell you that having a photo is important. Having a good photo helps. The comments on this thread aid in determining what comprises "a good photo" - for some people. BUT, in reality what is a photo, or even the written profile? I suggest that if anyone is here on POF to truly meet someone, then one should not rely on either. With today's "tools", are you really looking at a true photo of a person?? It is not just that people use out of date photos to appear younger, but with tools such as photo-shop, who knows what the real individual looks like IRL. As far as the written word goes, do we know who actually wrote the words in the profile? It is like a resume that one has paid to have done for them; the individual can hardly recognize themselves in the description.

The concept of how important is a good photo is relevant to some who post pictures. I would suggest that more important is that some people do NOT post photos. I am guilty myself in that I quickly reject many who's photo is not appealing to me. Without a photo, those who are not photogenic (for whatever reason) might stand a chance in that their profile might get read - if a good profile id and a catchy come on phrase is used to pique a person's interest. But many who never get any feedback should strongly consider whether or not having a photo posted is a good thing.

Conversely, many who have great photos posted, lose on the profile description.

As one gal wrote, no one shows or writes about whether or not they have hairy legs; but as to insight in to the person, wouldn't you like to know.

Actually meeting and talking with any individual is the only way to go. Photo or no photo, good photo or not, well-written profile or not, IF you are not meeting in person, you are on POF for the forums.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
The rules
Posted: 2/4/2013 8:24:20 AM
HI Folks, I did not know that a book has been written for us all, but I found out from John Tesh's latest newsletter that there is...



Ladies, do you remember a book back in the ‘90s called The Rules – which was a code of dating conduct for women? The premise is that men are biologically programmed to be the pursuers. And they may be flattered by a woman's pursuit, but they won't fall in love with her, because there's no challenge. Guidelines from the book The Rules included things like:

Don't talk to a man first.

Don't meet him halfway or go Dutch on a date.

Don't call him, and rarely return his calls.

Always end the date first.

Well, the book has been updated for the world we live in now. The NEW title is The New Rules for the Digital Generation. And here are a few of the instructions:

Women shouldn’t text, email, or Facebook “friend” a man first.

Wait at least four hours to answer a text – that's the MINIMUM. And the older you are, the longer you should wait.

Never text after midnight. The authors say that part of The New Rules is to teach men to respect you, which means setting boundaries.

Keep your emails brief and infrequent. And always leave him wanting more because long or frequent emails are a big turn-off.

And finally, the authors of The New Rules say there are only 2 mistakes you can make in online dating. The first is not to try it. The second is to contact the man first.

But do women who are actually dating online think of these rules?

An online dating survey found that 79% of women wouldn’t wait for a man to contact them first.

When it comes to replying to text messages, most women think they should make a man wait a little. But most would only wait half an hour, not four hours.

So, do the authors and the women in the survey agree totally on anything? Yes. Almost every single one said that if a man canceled on them twice, they’d never go out with him again.

What do you think? Does the man need to always be the hunter? Or is that old fashioned? Can a woman make the first move?
_______________________________________________________________________

Check out more from John Tesh at Tesh.com. John hosts a radio program called Intelligence For Your Life. He comes up with quite diverse stuff.

I'm off to the library to see if the book is available. There goes my idea of writing a book and making oodles of money. On to the next "dream".
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 415 (view)
 
Wierd sandwiches we ate as kids or anything else!
Posted: 2/2/2013 10:11:29 AM
Is a peanut butter and raisin sandwich wierd?? I still eat lots of them. Great with a glass of cold milk!
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Updating profile
Posted: 2/2/2013 10:05:09 AM
I hope Markus adds "dreamer" to the list.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/2/2013 10:02:53 AM
I suggest that a quote from frolic2's profile is good advice...

“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”–Albert Einstein

I have found that I have attracted more friends, both male and female, by things I have done than anything else. The old adage: action speaks louder than words applies. By simply helping others, you will be noticed. That, and a lot of luck, and you will live your dream.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
What kind of relationship are you looking for here?
Posted: 1/31/2013 8:30:56 PM
Interesting takes on this topic, as usual. A little background... John Tesh hosts a radio show that he calls "Intelligence for your life". It is interesting, with decent music and lot's of tid-bits of info interspersed. Check it out here:

http://www.tesh.com/radio

and read up on John on Wikipedia.

It really is hard to know why people are on a dating site. I get very little interest it seems, although my suspicions are that most women have learned very early on in the game to select NOT to allow people to know that they have viewed them (i.e. checked them out). ((Talk about something to hide.)) Either that, or they are interested in the forums only and not really are on here for a date.

One thing is certain it seems, it is just as difficult to make that first step no matter what kind of relationship one is looking for.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/31/2013 12:08:43 PM
Going back to the OP. Everyone needs to be aware of the adage: there is no use striving for perfection in a non-perfect world.

If I were to make a guess about why people wait (or do not make a move by introducing themselves or showing interest even); it is the fear of rejection. Somewhere, on all online dating sites, it should be disclosed that this is just like real life - the odds of being "rejected" are far greater than being "accepted" - it is the way things are, no matter what the venue is. Behind all this is the situation today where there is so much to choose from (in terms of dating - online or in real life in this instance), that individuals are over-whelmed and become unable to make a choice at all - it has to do with how our brains have to filter all the information available and become over-whelmed by the sheer volume that comes at us. A simple example is how we make decisions based upon a picture of an individual - it is said that a picture if worth a thousand words). We can look at a picture here on POF and instantly discard that individual, without a care or interest in to the individual and their character - thereby passing by a very good catch/match in the click of a mouse. Technology is not always helping us, is the bottom line.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
We owe Marcus a vote of thanks...
Posted: 1/31/2013 11:57:58 AM
Thanks Sawdust Maker. I just knew that I had seen something somewhere that had put that idea in to my head; it must have been that info page. I read the article about Plenty of Fish and Markus, and it struck me that the author was jealous of Markus and his success - both for creating something wanted and useful, and then making some money from it; most of us would like to do this, but do not have what it takes, for one reason or another. It is not uncommon to see such articles about successful people - that is the nature of the "news" world today; one rarely sees positive articles written about people - one can only assume that the un-washed masses are surrounded by good and do not wish to hear about or any more about good being done.

I for one believe in giving credit where credit is due, and I believe Markus is owed thanks. He is following up by giving $100,000 to one lucky couple who got together through POF. That is pretty decent of him.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What kind of "relationship" are you looking for here?
Posted: 1/31/2013 11:47:50 AM
I was listening to the John Tesh radio program this morning. He spoke about online dating sites being populated by people looking for an e-relationship - as opposed to a real life relationship. It seems that many people want to chat and email someone else, and fear rejection - so they look for someone to satisfy their need on an online dating site. POF provides this opportunity at no cost, so is a favorite site for such e-relationships. It seems that the majority of users on online dating sites are simply looking for an e-relationship (sorry, I do not have any source to back that up; it is what John reported).

The solution according to John's source, for those seeking a "real relationship" (i.e. in real life IRL), is to move quickly from the online aspect to the actual meet-and-greet stage. The quick agreement to actually meet, and doing so, will weed out those who are not looking for anything IRL.

What do you think about this, based upon your experience ?
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Honesty
Posted: 1/29/2013 8:12:56 PM
Keep in mind that like attracts like. You have to be an enabler - in that, if you want honesty, you have to be honest yourself. Less reliance on anything seen or said online, and more reliance on your instincts when you are together is the way to go.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Be careful who you trust! A life's lesson
Posted: 1/29/2013 1:56:57 PM
Lot's of them !!! The challenge is to find one. The door swings both ways. Online dating, or dating in general, is NOT for the faint of heart.

You have to trust in the universe and be lucky. And remember, if at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why don't people have the courtesy to respond??
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:34:49 AM
What most are looking for on POF is a few "hellos". I wish I had to worry about a mailbox full of "rejections". To each and every one, their own.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
We owe Marcus a vote of thanks...
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:33:17 AM
Cynthia, you can check out an article from Atlantic magazine here...

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/307439/

Once again, I say it is easy to be cynical. It is hard in today's world to believe in something good - at least if one looks at the reported "news". That is why I do not pay any attention to the news of any sort - TV, radio, newspaper. I do look at a few magazines and on the internet for interesting and in-depth articles (like the one noted here). There is lots of good in the world - I am lucky to see it every day; but it is mostly little things (that ARE important), found in people helping others. The concept of altruism has to do with scale, and while it is true that Plenty of Fish does not rank on the scale of Louis Pasteur (insulin was it?), it may turn out that in terms of human happiness, it is a very important thing.
 Life_Is_Better
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Definition of financially secure
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:21:19 AM
I would suggest that the definition of "financial security" is up to the individual - and based upon that individual's social, economic and educational background, and honed by his/her life experiences and most of all "luck".

On a dating site, I would suggest that worrying about "financial security" is a negative thing. Given that "money does not buy happiness", this trait in a person should not be a top consideration.

And anyway... one can say anything here on POF. You are going to have to meet the person in real life and get to know them a little before you start to get a feel for their true character.
 
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