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Thread: Neighbour threatens pig races

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Neighbour threatens pig races Posted: 12/9/2006 11:55:37 AM
The dispute began when the group asked Baker to remove his cattle from their newly bought land. Baker agreed but mistakenly thought the Muslims also wanted him off the land his family has lived on for more than 100 years. The rumour spread. Baker, who makes marble and granite fixtures for kitchens and bathrooms and also owns livestock, said he got so mad he put up a sign announcing the pig races. THAT is the most important part of the whole article. Small farmers in this country are being forced off of land that has been in families for centuries. Land that ALWAYS belonged to ONE family and was passed down through generations. If you up north can't understand that these people who are what we call "the salt of the earth" have been raped and pillaged by groups who want their land then maybe you should start reading up on THAT concept. There have been HUGE court cases in this country lately over immanent domain. A city in the state I live in took BEACH FRONT PROPERTY from families at a fraction of what it was worth to build a shopping mall because they would collect more in taxes. Those homes had been in families for GENERATIONS and are now leveled, the families weren't paid enough to buy a new home and are now living in apartment buildings. You seem to think you KNOW IT ALL when it comes to what's happening in the US but you only know what YOU WANT TO KNOW and nothing more. There are ISSUES HERE bigger than you can imagine. Considering I work as a LOBBYIST supporting the little guy I think I understand what the real issues at hand are. The so called American Way of Life is being stripped away from American's who have their roots firmly imbedded in this country. More people immigrate to the US than any other country in the world. Just because we welcome people from other countries and cultures here DOES NOT MEAN we need to rip the foundation of this country to pieces to incorporate them. In fact THEY should find ways to incorporate THEMSELVES. If the people building that Mosque had held a meeting and explained their vision to the community I'm sure NONE of this hoopla would have happened. Instead they chose to go in, unknown, and ask someone to move off of land he's used for years WITH NO EXPLANATION. The man thought they were taking HIS HOME FROM HIM. Suspected terrorism IS NOT the issue here. Loss of life as THEY KNOW IT, and have know it for generations, is. DO YOU GET THAT?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Neighbour threatens pig races Posted: 12/9/2006 1:16:55 AM
So now you're an expert on US zoning laws too? Incorporation has absolutely NOTHING to do with zoning. It's almost 4:30 in the morning here I'm done for the night. By the way isn't what you are doing HIGHJACKING A THREAD? The thread is about pig races and a Mosque not about terrorism or anything else you've brough into it.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Neighbour threatens pig races Posted: 12/9/2006 12:57:45 AM
There is absolutely NO WAY I'm going through that entire list. Fox News covers stories involving Muslims who speak out against terrorism ALL THE TIME. BY THE WAY ISN'T THIS SUBJECT OFF TOPIC? I thought this thread was about pig races. THAT'S the story I heard covered on Fox News Channel. However, I do know they cover stories about Muslims who are against terrorism too. The people made a valid point about property value. I don't condone pig races in order to insult a group of people so they won't build a Mosque. I do know in the US as soon as you put a public building in a residential area it is immediately REZONED and property value goes down. It's a fact. It's part of our zoning laws. It is no longer considered residential only.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Do readers prefer readers, and for good reason? Posted: 12/9/2006 12:31:16 AM
OP I think you've limited your theory here. A person doesn't necessarily have to read to be able to discuss varied subjects on a deep level. There are many ways to expand the mind. I do read a lot but I also watch a lot of documentary type TV, the news and listen to what other people have to say. I believe a more valid point would be people who still have the hunger to LEARN are more compatible with the same. Reading alone is too limiting. You can't learn everything from a book you need to learn a lot of things from real life. I relate to people who are intelligent and who continue to expand their mind. Reading is just a small part of that.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

The human doormat syndrome Posted: 12/9/2006 12:23:40 AM
verygreeneyez my mother would like us TO THINK she the martyr but I know it was my dad. Lucky for him he was very hard of hearing from working on the infintry guns during WWII and wore hearing aids. My mother would start yapping at him at dinner time and when her back was turned we'd glance over and see my dad turn his hearing aids off. As long as her mouth was moving he'd just nod and say "yes Meryon." There are four daughter's in my family. We would practically be spitting food to keep from laughing so my poor dad didn't get found out. I realized when I got sick I COULDN'T continue to be the family martyr. I became the family isolationist instead. I still have to deal with family but I do it on a limited basis and only when I absolutely HAVE to. I'm the youngest so I guess they all figured they were bigger than me and they could force the martyrdom on me, yeah right that's not going to happen.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Neighbour threatens pig races Posted: 12/8/2006 9:00:50 PM
There's a lot more, ...do note, ...not seen on FOX News (That ought to tell you about that source and it's "Fair and balanced" claim) Since I've heard this story and I ONLY listen to Fox News Channel I believe it had to have been reported by them. Maybe it was "not seen" because it was broadcast when you weren't watching/listening? Or maybe you never even tune in to the channel so you have no way of knowing? As for property values, it may be true does anyone have any evidence that putting a public building in a residential area WILL not lower property values? It happens all the time here in the US. Public building in residential area = lower property values.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 432 (view)

Breastfeeding on a plane. Posted: 12/8/2006 3:19:44 PM
According to her employer she acted in an incompetant manner, they say, due to age and inexperience. Not exactly a glowing endorsement, sorry, if this is someone to rely on in an emergancy? She's already proved she can't handle the simple stuff. Doesn't know her own company's policy, doesn't know the law. OF COURSE the airline is going to say that. That doesn't mean she's incompitent in case of emergency they have to pass what basically amounts to EMT training before they can become a flight attendant. There's a saying in the military sh*t flows down. It's true in any business or industry too. It's easier to blame the lowly flight attendant than it is to say OOPS the airline made a mistake. They can't be sued then. The airline has been paid tor render a service, there is also the basic expectation of quality that's been part of civil law for hundreds of years. And as explained that service is to provide training to the flight attendants to insure your safety during the flight or if God forbid the plane has problems and crashes or catches fire on landing. That is the service they are trained for and it fulfills the contract. They also have to learn more than rudimentary first aid and need to know how to use equipment in case someone suffers a heart attack on a flight. You are getting a lot more for your money NOW than you were years ago when all the did was serve you dinner and provide drinks. About ten years ago my sister, an RN, was on a flight and a man had a heart attack. At that time there was no EMT type training or equipment necessary to provide help. She had to give CPR to the man for THREE HOURS before they could land at the closest airport. That wouldn't happen today. Do you want dinner, drinks and barbie doll type talk or REAL SERVICE that will save your life? this is just another example of deflecting the issue to demonize the mother and child. Untrue, I have no problem with a mother breast feeding in public. However, FOR YEARS the news has told parents to bring their own car seats on planes for their children's safety. As I said a child that is not properly restrained becomes an airborn missle if there is a problem on the flight. I'd rather have my child ALIVE than breast fed. Pacifiers serve the same purpose.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Terminolgy, labels and scenerios Posted: 12/8/2006 1:14:31 PM
LMFAO it reminds me of those electronic pet things kids had. You had to feed the pet etc. or it would die.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Forgiving versus Forgetting---a gender difference? Posted: 12/8/2006 12:45:58 PM
If you forget what lesson have you learned from the experience? Forgiving is hard but done with time. You should NEVER forget because then you will just repeat past mistakes.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Alive and in pain Vs. bored but secure Posted: 12/8/2006 12:40:09 PM
What a convoluted thread. There's NO WAY to know choice A considers themself out of your league or that they will eventually hurt you unless they tell you both things up front and I don't think that will happen. Why not choose choice A WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

For the hope of something... Posted: 12/8/2006 12:34:40 PM
The only words of advice I can give you are get use to it. Welcome to the world of online dating.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 427 (view)

Breastfeeding on a plane. Posted: 12/8/2006 12:28:51 PM
Wow justhank, thanks for putting that picture in my head. The more I think about the people who are trashing the airline stewardesses/stewards the more upset I get too. What's going to happen to all of you if one day you are unfortunate enough to be ON A PLANE THAT HAS PROBLEMS and the only people to turn to are them? Just think about it. You go down in water, they know what to do, you go down in flames, they know how to get you the heck out of the plane before you die of smoke inhalation or burns, you get bashed around while in the air they provide the emergency medical aide. The fact is THEY ARE THERE FOR YOUR SAFETY. Those people aren't only there to serve you. My GOD do you have NO respect for others? How would you feel if people trashed you and the way you do YOUR job based on an article in a news paper/incident on a plane? Personally I get airsick and I give kudo's to ANYONE that flies constantly. I'd rather walk than get in a plane but when I do I at least respect the people who are there TO HELP ME. They are not your slaves people, and even though you buy a plane ticket THEY DO NOT WORK FOR YOU THEY WORK FOR THE AIRLINE. Give respect where respect is due.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Why do they cahange once you live to gether? Posted: 12/7/2006 4:50:55 PM
frogkiss are you seriously suggesting people in relationships should never live together? That's ridiculous. Many people can live with a partner and not change.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Why do they cahange once you live to gether? Posted: 12/7/2006 4:48:19 PM
I call it the Doctor Jekell, Mr. Hyde syndrome. Nope there's no way to tell until it happens. They do a good job of hiding it. If house work is your only problem then count yourself lucky. Many times it's a personality change that REALLY isn't good.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

How To Get It All Out In The Open, With The One You Still Have Strong Feelings For... Posted: 12/7/2006 3:53:56 PM
OP you said in message 10 you're still friends. Friendship should be the basis of ANY relationship. I'd say keep going down the "friend path" and just throw a few hints his way when you think he might be open to them.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

What causes you to shut down, BEFORE the date ? Posted: 12/7/2006 3:27:42 PM
OP I always go into a dating thinking the worst that can happen is I'll make a new friend. Why even go on the date if you've already shut down? It defeats the whole purpose. Not every date has been a "great" date but I've always managed to enjoy myself. I shut down ON the date if 1) they can't hold up their end of a conversation and I have to do all the talking. I HATE being in that position because it's like pulling teeth to keep anything that resembles a conversation going or, 2) they do ALL the talking and I feel there's no reason for me to be there since they've pretty much disconnected and don't care what I have to say. I usually want to excuse myself, say I'm going to the ladies room and sneak out the door when they aren't looking. I have yet to do that but it's always in the back of my mind.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Boss is hot do it or not Posted: 12/7/2006 3:21:27 PM
NEVER get involved with someone you work with, especially if it's your BOSS. Geesh did you really need anyone to tell you that?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Is it obnoxious to frequently comment on other people being cute? Posted: 12/6/2006 1:05:39 PM
It sounds like she's immature and you happen to be the one that has to listen to her obnoxious "cuteness." I didn't look at your profile so I don't know your age but most women outgrow celebrity crushes by the time they're in their late 20's max. If you and she aren't close to that age figure out how many years of listening to her state people are "cute" and decide if you can last that long.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Boyfriend Wont Help Out Around The House Posted: 12/6/2006 9:04:04 AM
Since the situation sounds like it's you, the adult, and two teenagers living together why not try putting up a chore board. Then everyone knows what's expected of them and if they don't do it you you can point it out to them. Maybe if he has to put a check mark next to his appointed chores every day they'll get done. Then there's no "trying" to help up out more, it's clearly spelled out for him and he knows exactly what's expected of him. Edit: Message 9 all women aren't that daft. Since I seem to get at least half the pleasure that's the last thing I'd negotiate with.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Uhm :*( Posted: 12/6/2006 8:00:46 AM
OP I'm sure she gave you a reason. It probably was given to you throughout the relationship but you just chose not to hear it. She probably asked for something you weren't providing or told you what would make her feel like the relationship was working and could go long term. You're VERY young. Too young to be thinking long term anyway. In future relationships LISTEN because things will be said to you in subtle way. People don't scream their needs at you and spell it out until you understand what they are saying. You need to learn to be more responsive to those little messages they give you.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

If i cant give you everything should i even try? Posted: 12/6/2006 7:54:44 AM
I think people have the misconception you look for someone who can give you things. What you should be looking for is someone who makes you happy, makes your toes curl, makes you laugh at the right times/cry at the right times and you can't live without. When you find that all the "things" in the world don't mean a darn thing. When did materialism become a part of love? I must have missed that decade.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Interested vs. Desperate Posted: 12/6/2006 6:07:45 AM
OP it seems to be one extreme or the other on dating sites. Either they move too fast or they move too slow. If someone doesn't respond to an invitation to dinner then say, NEXT! If I get an initial email that just gushes about how great I am then I say NEXT! HUH? Based on my profile you're in love with me? What is that? Walking through a dating site is like walking through a mine field. You have to be VERY careful where you step. Personally I prefer the duds (doesn't accept invitation) to the live rounds (aggressive and in love on first profile read.) Every once in awhile you hit nothing but solid ground and things click on AT LEAST the friendship level and that makes it worth while. But then that's just my opinion.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Over Thinking No Action Posted: 12/6/2006 5:32:00 AM
OP that's especially true with online dating. The sites can be misleading as to comings, goings, messaging etc. I'm going through this right now with someone. It LOOKS like the person is online using messenger but he's not. Sometimes he hasn't been on the site for hours but it still says "IM User" under his pic. I'm trying to become less cerebral about these things and take it for what it is. Trust is a very important part of a relationship and it's what makes us question motives and look for reassurances. Unfortunately the internet can really throw a monkey wrench into the machine of a relationship because it is so misleading. I've finally come to the conclusion that what is SAID is more important than some scewed appearance of what might be.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Crazy I know, but... Posted: 12/6/2006 5:15:37 AM
OP, you're on the internet. What better way to get to know people who are outside of your "safe zone?" IMO POF can be the first step on this path you've decided to go down. Use it, it's what it's here for!

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Signs Posted: 12/6/2006 5:00:07 AM
Juliet I like your list MUCH better. That seems to be closer to my personality than the list in message 12. Although, I must say I had fun with that list!

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Help Posted: 12/5/2006 7:37:02 PM
Have you actually talked to him about the situation? That's what you do if you have a relationship. I'd suggest asking him if he plans to keep his own place or move all of his stuff into yours. That would be the first step. When you get that answer then you tell him to either move the crap out or to start paying half of the bills.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Anything worthwhile takes time Posted: 12/5/2006 6:51:29 PM
^^^^^^^ Tell me message 12 didn't just say that. Finding a good looking woman over 30 ( in good physical shape) is another matter wow the phrase "like shooting fish in a barrel" comes to mind right now.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Signs Posted: 12/5/2006 6:15:17 PM
Interesting considering I'm a leo. Someone should have told me all the facts listed in message 22 because I don't seem to fit the description at all. 1) I hate crowded places and don't feel the need to be admired, just respected. 2) I'd rather see a guy in a tight pair of jeans, suits do nothing for me. 3) Go ahead and take the phone call, I can keep myself amused. 4) If I like getting a couple of pair of flannel pj bottoms or a gift card for the supermarket does that consitute being "adorned?" 5) Flattery smatterly. GEEEEZZZZZZZZ I hate all that BS talk. As for the stroking, I'm not touching that one. 6) I hate the outdoors. Especially if it requires camping. Give me a four star hotel over a tent anyday. 7) Let me win the argument? Now THAT'S a good one since it seems that rarely happens. I can compromise like big girls are suppose to. Bossing and domineering? Even my dog doesn't listen to me. I don't sulk when I have to actually go out the door to get her sorry rump back in the house. Oh that is classic and I really needed the laugh.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Anything worthwhile takes time Posted: 12/5/2006 5:52:58 PM
EXCELLENT THREAD This is another one of those issues we always seem to dance around in the forums but never directly address. I don't understand it myself. Intellect is a HUGE turn on for me but it seems like a lot of people are looking for the superficial. IMO that is the lust factor and the chance of it developing into a healthy relationship is slim. Love is on a much deeper level and requires friendship as the foundation. Friendship takes time to develop and as you become friends then the desire, rather than lust, happens. I'll take desire over lust any day. I wish more people would understand this because then they might find happiness with the right

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Creating a group/community on MSN Posted: 12/5/2006 3:36:10 PM
I'm trying to create a community/group on MSN. I haven't used the site in years and can't remember how to set up and get to the chat room that's part of the community. The information provided in the "help" section isn't much "help." Can someone tell me where to find the option to go into the chat room on a community/group site there?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Why do men ask about you past and then get angry Posted: 12/5/2006 2:11:04 PM
My standard response when asked is "I don't talk about other relationships with ANYONE including you. It's a privacy and trust issue between me and anyone in my past and I'm not in the position to betray that trust." So far it's worked well and that is how I honestly feel. If a man kept on insisting on asking I'd tell him to take a walk.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

What do you do when nothing else works? Posted: 12/4/2006 4:22:06 PM
It has been proven that patients with fibromyalgia can obtain a great deal of benefit from seeing a psychiatrist. Fibromyalgia is aggravated by stress, which is often internalized and not communicated well to family members or friends. A psychiatrist can draw this out, treat the stress and reduce the effect of the Fibromyalgia on the patient. ladywitch, as someone who's had fibro since 1991 I'd love to know where you got THAT piece of information because it's totally bogus. For YEARS doctors told patients with fibro that it was all in their mind or due to depression. That's been proven to be WRONG. Statements like the one you made keep the stigma of "crazy" going when it comes to people who have fibro. I can assure you psychiatric help DOES NOTHING to alleviate the health issues that result from having fibro. Also, it's VERY easy to communicate how you feel when you have fibro. I certainly (and many other's I know with fibro) have no problem vocalizing about my condition.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

I'm confused and heartbroken Posted: 12/4/2006 3:43:59 PM
FireandIce where in that quote did I say ALL men are the same. If you ever bothered to read my other posts I'm usually the one complaining about stereotyping a group of people. The facts are 1) he's in a NEW relationship with another girl 2) he chose to spend time with a different girl instead of the one he's involved with 3) in A LOT of people's mind this would look like cheating Also, I haven't dated losers. If I had you may have been one of them though. You clearly fit the title.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Marriage based on a lie Posted: 12/4/2006 3:17:01 PM
HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS THAT? Enough said.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Molestation dilemma Posted: 12/4/2006 2:28:01 PM
Do you have an attorney OP? If not GET ONE RIGHT AWAY. When you have one then explain this moral dilemma to them and they will tell you how to handle it. That's what you pay them for. He/she will know LEGALLY what is required of you in this situation and what will be a LEGAL MINE FIELD if you bring the subject to someone's attention and she counter sues for defamation of character etc. YOU NEED LEGAL HELP. NONE OF US ARE PAID ATTORNEYS WORKING FOR YOU.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

What do you do when nothing else works? Posted: 12/4/2006 2:03:13 PM
OP I've had fibro since 1991. I take meds daily but they don't have an affect on my day to day activities. That's the only medical condition I can comment on. It sounds like she's either too medicated, not medicated enough or simply on the WRONG medications. Fibro is a REALLY complex disease and seeing a doctor who keeps up with the recent research is vitally important. I understand complications. I have chronic anemia, asthma, heart problems, hypothyroid, liver function problems I don't think I need to keep listing you get my drift. I managed to raise a daughter on my own, keep the house work done, pay the bills EVERYTHING you would expect a single parent to do and my doctor has often said "you are the sickest patient I have." However, if you were to meet me you would NEVER guess I have fibro. A lot of it is mind over matter. The patient has to WANT to live their life. My attitude is I rule the disease and don't let it rule me. I take medication that is as close to non-addictive as possible and my meds include only: darvocet for pain, flexeril as a muscle relaxer, antivert for dizziness, valium for stress and lunesta to sleep. None of those drugs affect me in any obvious or unobvious way. I suggest the woman's husband find a doctor who specializes in Fibro and takes his wife to see him. Also, if she's having problems coping there are support groups in all areas of the world as well as online. It's a disease that can be managed IF THE PATIENT wants to manage it.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Helping Out A Heartbroken Friend Posted: 12/4/2006 8:48:23 AM
What can you say? I think "he's a jerk" pretty much sums it up. Sometimes a good slap of reality in your face is the best thing that can happen. It sucks to be hurt but it happens to everyone and that's how we all learn. I'd also harp on the drug factor here so your friend realizes he should recognize that as a HUGE red flag in the future.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Hepburn and Tracy Posted: 12/4/2006 8:19:14 AM
There's much more to the story than that. He was married to a woman already (I believe she was mentally ill) and wouldn't divorce her. He didn't have a "real" marriage but didn't divorce her and never considered divocing her. In his HEART I believe he was married to Kathrine Hepburn but he lived up to the marriage vows he took and "in sickness" stayed with the wife.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Molestation dilemma Posted: 12/4/2006 8:04:25 AM
Don't you have an attorney representing you in the divorce? You need LEGAL advice not forum advice.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

I'm confused and heartbroken Posted: 12/4/2006 6:56:07 AM
scopio he's not as nice as you think he is. it's a game to suck women in, make them think he's a great guy and collect "trophies." I don't know if I even believe he HAS a girlfriend. You're 25 you need to stop being so gullible or your going to get your heart stomped on constantly. By the way did the subject of this "girlfriend" come up BEFORE you met? My guess would be no.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

til death do us part... Posted: 12/4/2006 6:47:37 AM
OP LMAO I guess it should be "til first argument do we part" Actually that's kind of sad. It's kind of sad that we can even HAVE this discussion. What's the world coming to?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

How to Detect the 20% Group Posted: 12/3/2006 8:30:55 PM
No because a successful relationship takes two people working together. There's no way to predict how a man will respond/behave after marriage.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Who has tried hypnosis? Posted: 12/3/2006 8:29:04 PM
I guess I'm the only one is hasn't worked for. I went when I first got sick with fibro and it was suppose to help with pain control. All it did for me was make my wallet thinner and put me in more pain because it was boringly painful going to the sessions that didn't work. It may be good for some things but it's totally useless for people who have a condition that causes chronic pain. If the pain is there you can't trick someone's mind into thinking it isn't with hypnosis. However, through meditation and mind control I HAVE managed to raise my threshold for pain time and time again. It's a mind over matter approach.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

How mature is 'the vanishing act'? Posted: 12/3/2006 5:44:20 PM
Ah the real question here is how mature are the men we are trading email with, messaging and talking to on the phone. Obviously if this happens as often as it does there are quite a few immature men/women on this site. I'd love to know the percentage of those that ACTUALLY follow through. Another common problem is you do meet, talk about a second meeting, how much fun you had, how much you enjoyed each other's company and then poof. It is what it is and it's online dating.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

When is the BF/GF title official? Posted: 12/3/2006 4:22:53 PM
^^^^^^ lmao another conspiracy theory? You got to love those political forums don't ya?

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

When is the BF/GF title official? Posted: 12/3/2006 4:05:13 PM
ya472 If I keep having serial one night stands I'll remain a girlfriend and never get to significant other status!

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

When is the BF/GF title official? Posted: 12/3/2006 2:25:44 PM
If it's when people have sex together then there are a heck of a lot of one night stands out there that are boyfriend and girlfriend and don't know it yet. Honestly? I will never be anyone's "girlfriend" again because I stopped being a girl A LONG LONG time ago. That word to me is for juveniles. I prefer significant other or something else that sounds more grown up.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Are you a 1 or a 1plus? Posted: 12/3/2006 2:21:03 PM
dang then I must be a .5 or something because I prefer to do most things alone. It's faster and I don't have to listen to people nattering in my ear the whole time. I enjoy going to a quiet place for lunch with no one and nothing but a good book to read while I eat. But then, I'm missing some kind of woman gene or something because I HATE shopping too.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

How to move on? Posted: 12/3/2006 12:41:51 PM
OP you seem to be grieving because she ended the relationship more than over her death. Have you ever considered her erradict behavior was PROBABLY due to the fact that she had a brain tumor? I'm sure it effected her mental state not only because it would be scarey and depressing but also because a brain tumor effects the way the brain functions. It may have completely changed her personality and because YOU didn't know she had it (and she probably didn't either at the time) you assumed she left you because there was something wrong with you. I'd try coming to terms with this fact while reconcilling the fact that she is gone forever and things didn't end exactly they way YOU wanted them to. Instead of wallowing in self-pity you need to pick yourself up and grieve for her because SHE'S the one who really lost in this situation, not you. If you stop wallowing and let go of the insecurities THAT YOU ALONE have created then maybe you'll be able to reclaim your self-esteem and find a relationship that will work for you.

serenity73157

Joined: 9/26/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

How do you get past the anger? Posted: 12/3/2006 11:15:37 AM
fiery-red you aren't completely over him or the relationship. Verbal abuse is the WORST. It's insidious so you don't know it's happening, changing you and having a HUGE effect on your self-esteem. My ex-husband was verbally abusive and it took a lot of soul searching to get past the damage he inflicted in a period of only months. You took the abuse for YEARS. I would guess that he always compared you to the ex and you were the one that came up short in postive department. Of course that would cause anger and resentment toward her. You need to work on you and let all of the BS go. It will also help if you think about the fact that SHE will end up in the exact position you were in if she leaves her current relationship to be with him. Men like him don't change so the abuse will continue with a new punching bag.

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