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haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Question for the Ladies Posted: 9/13/2012 1:48:14 PM
Talk about a loaded question! With the buffet of people on this site, there is no way that will please everyone. I recently received a message from a man that I would have been interested in getting to know more. The problem or turn off was, his message read like a form letter. I would have preferred he read my profile, or novel as its been referred to, then pick out some similar interests, mention something he liked about my profile and told me something about himself that wasn't in his profile. To some its all about the pic. To some its about what the profile tells. To me, a pic is nice, but bottom line is that its all about the person and lifestyle compatibility. Whats that line........"Never try to understand a woman" LOL!

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 173 (view)

What is the magic of cumming inside? Posted: 3/22/2012 7:58:41 PM
Comments are very interesting, and I enjoy the numerous perceptions of this topic. To me intimacy between two people should be considered a journey from the time the butterflies make you weak with attraction between you and your partner. Intimacy takes all shapes and forms and the dynamics of each person can create a wealth of things to try, places to be, likes/dislikes and new ideas. From the men I have talked with, for the most part they enjoy cumming inside. Some women I have talked to didnt seem to care as long as they were orgasmically satisified. When asked what I thought, I said it would depend on our intimate relationship and each of our needs. When in a committed relationship I enjoy it if my man wants to cum inside me for a wonderful sensation as we deepened our intemacy. Giving or receiveing while orgasiming is really special. I love the intense breathing, skin sparkling and an embrace that puts a definite smile on your face. Is it magic, not sure but it sure is as an excellent topic with an interesting practical component for home study. and practucal homework experiments, and the homework could be really awesome!!!!

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

Late Night Booty Calls Posted: 1/24/2012 7:09:34 PM
OMG, I cant believe this ancient thread has been resurected after 6 years, some people are way 2 funny, and lack imagination. Msg 103 - YUP I'm the one, and too bad you thought I was rude. I guess I didn't explain myself well enough for some on here who had responded. I created the thread to share funny stories. Msg 113 - Who cared - obviously everyone who responded. Get Over It - There was nothing to get over. I only used that experience to create a thread that might be amusing with others who had similar experiences.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

twins! would u date em both?? Posted: 11/29/2011 5:56:54 PM
Twins, polygamy, harem..........interesting! If I were a twin, thank gawd I'm not. I think its hard enough to not be a leming (sp?) in this media driven world. I would not be interested in dating the same guy if I had a twin. I also could not see myself in a polygamy relationship like the tv show Sister Wives. I would not be content being one of many wives. In star trek vocabulary, I could not see myslef as 7 of 9 I have always wanted more out of life than being a domestic to a husband and kids and have to wait to spend intimate time with my man. I'm way too spontanious to be satisified with X number of scheduled intimite days in a month with my man. Even thinking about me as a woman having a harem of live in men does not interest me in the long term. I think having one man in my life, and caring for his insecurities, moods, ego and other things men deal with could be a lot of work. I am certainly not interested to multiply this by having numerous men. I guess I don't like sharing my toys............

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Winnipeg Jets Logo Posted: 10/25/2011 11:48:37 PM
Personally I like the new logo, and when the spirit moves me, I will purchase a new jersey. I like the old F-18. Its a new era for NHL hockey here. We have a new facility to house the team. There are new owners who have demonstrated the importance of the local business sector support. The business sector combined with the public have sold out the facilities. Regardless of what the team was called in another city, our NHL team will always be the Jets with some new and different players, new coaching staff and an organized objective of what is expected of the team. Chipman's group get my kudos for being responsible and creative owners of the Jets. Unlike the former owners Wpg Enterprises who dangled the "dream of an NHL team here" in front of the City of Wpg like a carrot in front of a donkey, they irresponsibly convincing the former Mayor and city council to be responsible for the teams financial losses for a specific number of years. That is why the former owners decided the team was not "financially feasible" once the agreement that the city would pay their losses ended. It didn't hurt that a few councillors were silent financial participants of the team. Wpg Enterprises had absolutely no reason to work at making/keeping the team here and on budget without govt. financial assistance. When Wpg Ent. reached the bottom of the city's money bucket, these bandits did not care about the city, the little kids who emptied their piggy banks or patrons who supported the Jets. Instead, they used their civic irresponsibility and sold the team, took the cash and looked after their own personal financial needs. At the taxpayers expense they did quite well for themselves while the Jets were here and when they sold the team. Regarding how the Jets are playing. We need to remember that we are starting out at infancy once again with new coaching staff, players, management, and getting the right mix of lines, player dynamics, and being comfortable executing plays. They started out really bad but are doing better. Personally I think the lines do not play the net enough, but in time, I hope it will get better. To quote Don Cherry, if you don't aim for the net, you won't put numbers on the scoreboard.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Going back into dating...why is this SO hard? Posted: 8/13/2011 11:50:01 PM
Personally I think getting back into dating if you are 40+ can be hard because things are different, and we are different than the last time we dated 20 or whatever years ago. I would like to believe that we all are more intelligent about life in general and can feel left behind with computers and new technology. I had absolutely no plan to do online dating but my daughter bugged me till I did, and I have found out, its not that bad. I have met some wonderful people on here both male and female who have become friends. The older we get, the more defined we are as people. We know ourselves, our good and bad points, and have a better idea of what we want from a partner, than we did 20 or whatever years ago. I just keep telling people to continue to kiss the toads/toadettes on your journey to find the right one.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 340 (view)

How to find out penis size Posted: 8/13/2011 11:02:49 PM
I always thought the size of a guys johnson was based on his shoe size................. Lucky me, I have only dated guys with shoe sizes of 10 and better............ Personally when its time to talk about intimacy with the man in my life, we usually talk about measurements, and many other related items. That way, there is no real surprise/disappointment later.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

The Meaning of Demanding Respect Posted: 8/13/2011 10:50:19 PM
So true we are all average and depending on how we feel, dress and what we are doing, can be on the plus or negative side of average. Some people compare themselves to magazine pics and just recently one well know stars magazine pic was not accepted for sale in some country because all her facial lines were air brushed out, and this was not normal. I think this is a really great step forward adding to the momentum of the Dove ads that talk to our youth about selfesteem. Personally, I tend to avoid men who spend more time in the bathroom getting ready for a date than I do. I just can't take the competition. My girlfriends and I get together to talk about all kinds of hair/makeup/clothes things, and that is just fine with me. I don't want to be having those same conversations with a man I am dating.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Prefer Not To Answer Posted: 8/13/2011 10:39:36 PM
Judgements come swiftly online when it comes to the buffet of possible matches out there. When it comes to religion, the option "other" works for me because I'm spiritual but not necessarily religious and have some problems with organized religion. When you are talking about wanting kids the options are only "yes", "no", and "prefer not to say". I feel "prefer not to say", makes someone look like they are trying to hiding something. For me the kids issue is kind of murky. I am not interested in having any more children as I did that, and have the T-shirt. Now, if a man is reading my profile and sees "No", he may pass me by cause he has kids and this man may be the one I am looking for, but have not yet met. I have done all the school concerts, bake sales, and fund raisers, and have no interest in any more of it. If I become a grandmother then perhaps. I don't want to date a man who has young kids in school. If they are teens and living with him thats ok because kids are an extension of the parent. If I care about a man I will care about his kids, just as the man I meet would care about mine. When it comes to relationships with "Brady Kids" nothing is simple or easy as every family unit has its own dynamics and blending families can be quite difficult.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Going out for dinner Posted: 8/13/2011 10:18:36 PM
OP you are only a month into a relationship with this jerk and he is pulling this kind of sh!t. I dont think you should consider him upfront, open and honest, cause honey he is trying to get your approval to cheat. What are you nuts????? He should be wining and dining you to a fancy restaurant not some causual notch on his bedpost. If you really mean a lot to him, he would not be doing this. Just think, if he is doing this after being together only 1 month, what would he do after a year or if you got married. People are on their best behaviour when dating, so if this is his best, I think you need to kick his sorry a$$ to the curb and find better.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

single women who date married men Posted: 8/13/2011 10:05:39 PM
I have experience on both sides of the fence on this one. I had a cheating husband and couldnt kick his sorry a$$ to the curb fast enough. I also had a brief relationship with a married man and felt like sh!t when I found out he was married, and kicked his cheating a$$ to the curb. I like the similie offered by another poster who said its like putting icing on sh!t, the first bite is ok, but the rest is still sh!t. Definitely well said. Regarding women, I think I can explain. Self esteem has a lot to do with it, there are women who crave attention they are not getting, and some will be beautiful and intelligent. When they get a lot of special attention from a married man on the prowl, they overlook the one simple fact that he belongs to someone else and will never be yours; over the fact that they are being treated very special. I think over time it would get stale being on standby or waiting for the phone to ring, but some women snap out it. For me, I have a lot to offer the right man, and a married man can't give me the time and attention I deserve. I don't want to dine in the dark back corner of a restaurant where no one he knows goes to, or being unable to make plans because he has to find out his wife's schedule/plans. Then what about holidays, well those are reserved for his family. Nope, I dont think a married man has anything I want. If I want something on a leash, I'll buy a dog. I believe its about giving as good as you get, and not being afraid to wait for it.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

they (women) don't wanna talk about it?... Posted: 8/13/2011 9:43:45 PM
For me its not that I'm not interested in talking about it, if asked will give a decent coles notes version. Lets face it in a relationship usually both people are at fault when it comes to a break up unless its about cheating or something only one person does, it becomes a deal breaker. I have a problem with people who judge everyone by their last relationship. So, if a man I meet feels wronged by a woman, I am sure not gonna be taking his wrath for the woman in his last relationship, because he did not take it out on her when he had a reason and was in her life. I judge each new person I meet on their own merit. You can find out soon enough if they are a lier. I think people need to talk more about what they are looking for and the type of relationship they desire instead of trying to rate someone compared to their last failed relationship.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

The Meaning of Demanding Respect Posted: 8/13/2011 9:30:50 PM
Meaning of Demanding Respect. I'm blonde and usually not as dumb as a nail, but I think you have it wrong. In my world, "demanding respect" is an ugly term that I never use. I use "respect" when talking or dealling with someone new and I expect to be spoken or dealt with in a respectable manner. I dont demand anything. If I am respectful to someone and they do not recriprocate or makes fun of it when mentioned about, shows that we have nothing in common and there is no need to pursue things further. When you talk about "walking", I believe that you are talking about character traits that some people have/do that are dealbreakers for others. Such as smoking, excessuve drinking, drugs, pets if allergic, kids, individual interests, and many other things. Finding out things that make it dificult to have a relationship with someone and walking away is about living comparible lives, and I dont think its about "settling". If a person knows what that have to offer a relationship and know what they are looking for in a relationship and qualities in a possible mate, then its easy to know when a person does not fit what you are looking for.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

2011 Winnipeg Blue Bombers Posted: 8/11/2011 9:27:03 PM
The Bombers are having a good start this season. Personally I think having Lyle Bauer resign has made a big difference for the success of this team. I have noticed the players seem happy with their efforts. Its unfortunate we lost a member of our coaching team, cause he will be missed. The head coach is making good calls and working well with the players. The special teams are not 100% effective, but they are conscious of what is going on during the games, and what they need to do to get points on the scoreboard. Injuries happen, so I hope our team remains healthy. Looking forward to next game. GO BOMBERS!!!!!!!!!!

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

question for Canadian lawyers Posted: 7/29/2011 3:51:08 PM
I found the following information on the Vancouver Community College website out of their Multilingual Legal Glossery. Term "immoral" Language "English" Plain Language Definition "not following accepted rules and standards of behaviour" Context/Example " Her grandmother told her that when she was young, people thought you were immoral if you lived with your boyfriend before you got married." Related words "bad, wicked, profligate" IMO in law this is a "grey area" that can be argued in a positive or negative way, and thats why lawyers make the big bucks.........

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

U.S. (Restaurant) Invasion Posted: 7/22/2011 4:06:35 PM
Now would be a good time for Canadians to purchase US Franchises as today the US dollar is at 95 cents. I'm thinking that the talk isn't just talk, about the US possibly heading into another recession. The daily exchange rates are being closely watched by the Bank of Canada and their talk of interest rates on borrowing going up could be a reality depending on what happens in the US. We have local restaurants giving all kinds of deals away because business is slow. I don't think the restaurant business's in Winnipeg are doing that well, with the exception of VJ's on Main near Broadway and McDonalds with their any size $1.00 drinks. The restaurants mentioned might be just enough competition to make things even better for consumers. We will definitely have to watch for this.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Is the Return of the Forums Too Late? Posted: 7/22/2011 3:52:47 PM
Is the return of the forums too late ---Nope! I personally don't think so. The forums are just like organizing events.......if I can remember those words of wisdom from the past, oh yea! "Plan it and they will come". Create threads of general interst and other will follow. As mentioned earlier by others, if threads catch people's attention, they will share their thoughts and opinions. Even for those with too many opinions and even fewer thoughts.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Tolerance-Second Time Around Posted: 7/20/2011 6:50:29 PM
I dont find myself more or less tolerant, I have defined what I am looking for in a man and take it from there. Tolerance could be viewed as "settling" and that is a bad thing, cause relationships don't last. Personally I dont make assumptions or have huge expectations from the men I meet. A person can weed out the inappropriate matches and a match that might have a chance. I think its all about what you are looking for, finding someone with similar traits and seeing if things will go in the right direction.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 142 (view)

WHY DO MEN LIE TO GET A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE Posted: 3/15/2011 12:39:07 PM
I agree with AzureAngel's earlier post about taking a persons word at face value till determined otherwise. My post was about the number of times people have been hurt by meeting someone they were interested in and instead of waiting to see how the relationship unfolded, began to build a relationship in their mind because they wanted a relationship so bad. Then if things didnt work out as they imagined blamed things on the other. There are many people out there who do not listen to what a person says and for some reason in their mind they think they are going to change the other persons over time. I am sad to say but I have done it too. Since I figured this out and began to watch the signs more carefully I have not had any problems. People are not sometimes honest about habits/lifestyles that are deal breakers for them. The best way to find "the one" is to first know what you want from a partner, what you have to offer them and what kind of a relationship you are looking for. Then its a matter of kissing a lot of toads/toadettes to find "the one". People forget to think with their heads and feel with their hearts.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 139 (view)

WHY DO MEN LIE TO GET A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE Posted: 3/15/2011 11:37:47 AM
Dont you think as people, both men and women, we should treat each new person on their own merits and judge the interaction with being truthful to ourselves based on our past experiences and knowledge? We all should know that not every person we meet will be "the one" or even move beyond a friendship kind of relationship. Personally I think a lot of people are wanting "the fairy tale" so desperately that they ignore signs/signals that show this person is not the one, and when it blows up in their face, blame all men/women. We all know there are people out their with agendas, be it sex, financial gain, and players who say what they think others want to hear to get what they want. If we fall for their game, shame on them. If we continually fall for it, then same on us. I think it sucks being desperate, because people fail to see how special they are and that they deserve better. We all should know our personal value before trying to find someone to share your life with.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Relationship downgrade? Posted: 3/1/2011 7:48:10 PM
OP - I believe that she is using you till someone better comes along and then she is gonna drop you like a hot potato. I think she pays for things so she can feel in control and it probably makes her feel less guilty about using you. Many people are unable to vacation alone, and she may consider you "staff" and using you to treat her like a lady and carry the luggage. How will you feel if she decides to leave you to be with someone else for a vacation fling? I have a male friend who this happened to and he fell really hard, and now has a hard time trusting women. Protect yourself and your heart and kick her sorry a$$ to the curb. I believe you deserve better.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

feminism...for discussion Posted: 1/16/2011 3:10:37 PM
Feminism like most things have brought about change, some good, some not so good. People forget that Feminism started out by many women who no longer wanted to be the property of a man. They wanted the right to work alongside men and be paid the same wage for the same work. These women wanted to be able to make purchases on credit in their own name and not need a husband to approve of their request. Women wanted to purchase homes and have mortgages on their own, at a time when it was unheard of. Women wanted to have a say in their body regarding children and a say in sexual activities. It was the feminist who started to take on the judicial system when it came to violent crimes against women. There was a long time when it was pointless for a woman to go to court charging a man with rape. Nothing happened to the man, the woman was told she caused the rape due to what she was wearing, where she was and who she was with. A woman telling a man no to sex during that time held no consequences and men who committed rape just walked out of the courtroom laughing, while the woman was looked down on. Its unfortunate that the media focused on women burning their bras, picking out lesbian women who were fighting for womens rights, while many men called women who wanted the change dykes. The media sometimes misses the mark when sensationalism sells papers, not necessarily the good being done in the world. There is no such thing as a Superwoman, only in the comics. Women just like men cant do it all. In a marriage it takes both people to do all that is required and it should be rather equal. Relationships work as a partnership with love, respect, and needs to be taken care of like a beautiful garden. Its not like a picture you buy to hang on your wall, you dont hang it then forget about it.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Why are the Birds and Fish dying . Posted: 1/16/2011 2:55:01 PM
There has been so many disasters both natural and man made since 2000. I believe the tsunamies (sp?), 9/11, massive flooding around the world, volcano ash eruptions and other things I have forgotten to mention has sturred up a lot of pollution both natural and man made. I also believe that we are feeling the effects of these disasters. Many rescue workers in New York City are sick and dying or dead with cancer from the concrete dust on 9/11. Tsunamies and floods stir up and redeposit all kinds of things from river/lake beds and the oceans. I personally think there are too many occurrances and the fragile life system on earth cannot cope with it.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Why are the Birds and Fish dying . Posted: 1/14/2011 5:36:35 PM
I think its a combination of many things pollution, profit v.s. environment, the ecological changes in the world both natural/and man made, and amount of chemicals/preservetives found in our processed food that becomes part of the natural food chain. Science has taken a huge step forward in DNA and I hope by studying and cataloging DNA these people can help figure it out.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Self checkout at Safeway, you Pro or Con? Posted: 1/14/2011 5:09:02 PM
Self Check Out I have mixed emotions about it. If you have a few items that have scanner bar codes, and there are a lot of people in check out lines, it can be an advantage. The stores are gearing up to compete with Walmart Super Stores that will eventually begin to pop up. When in the US I enjoyed the store as it was something new that we didnt have in Winnipeg. After checking out the store while on vacation, I noticed that most people appeared to have more than just the few items we sometimes are enticed to purchase if the prices is really good. After talking to some people in line, I asked their thoughts about the self checkout and the size of the store. I was surprised by some of the answers, some mom's had a hard time with kids wanting to check out the toy section and then dealing with the kids "buy this for me mom". Others said they spent more time in the store than they had intended, and found it difficult not to make those rush impulse extra thing purchases. One lady mentioned that a few times he had to take the bus to work cause she overspent and didnt have gas money for her car. I noticed line ups at the self check out and there were not many staff members around when problems arose. I dont like the idea of stores reducing staff by getting rid of cashiers and baggers. That is really going to hurt the economy here and in rural MB. I would prefer talking to cashiers and baggers while they assist me with my purchase, knowing they are supporting the working force. I dont think a computer self check out that may not have all the correct prices and information imputted to be a technological step forward. I think its the store/chain finding a way to increase the profit margins the way Supervalu did with their policy to bag your own and purchasing bags. Personally I think a mix of 1/3 self check outs and 2/3 working cashiers and baggers (not just empty closed checkouts) would work the best. Safeway has always been service driven and their prices reflect that. I wont shop in a store that I have to scan an entire cart, then deal with computer payment and then bag my purchases. Even Costco has staff to box & load purchases in your cart while you deal with a cashier.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 78 (view)

IM back ??? Posted: 6/3/2010 12:49:29 PM
DROWNING HERE! My Instant Message does not seem to be working. I have reset the instant message options as mentioned in this thread, and for some reason IM is not available to me.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

are you still sexually experimenting? Posted: 4/8/2010 7:17:21 PM
I would not call it "experimenting". I would rather call it being creative, exciting, spontanious and open to having an incredible intimate relationship with the man in my life. It should be about satisfying and being satisfied by your partner. Same ole can be very boring. My thoughts are that the more interesting and spontanious your intimacy is, the more spark in your relationship. I know many people who have been doing the same thing/s, at the samet time, in the same room, with the lights off, and that just makes me shake my head. Its kind of like going to Baskin-Robins and only getting a vanilla cone......BORING! I prefer to try out all 31 flavors of ice cream. Intimacy should be full of excitement, variety, and something to get worked up about.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 352 (view)

Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring? Posted: 4/8/2010 7:01:03 PM
Being divorced I cannot comment on how long a widow/Widower, can/should wear their wedding rings. I would think that the healing time would be longer than someone who is divorced because one makes a decision to be divorced, while death is not negotiable. Based on personal experience, I have noticed that many (not all) widow/widowers are not ready for a long term relationship with a new person until 2 or 3 years after the death of their partner. I have found that wearing a wedding ring on your left ring finger has been a huge red flag that indicates the widow/widower is not ready for life with a new partner. I have found that these people are looking for a replacement, and unfortunately they will never be satisified with a new person. There are exceptions to every rule. I have a friend who is a widower, and he wears his wedding ring on his right ring finger as a remberance. I don't have a problem with that because we all have life experiences prior to someone we might have a relationship with. I know that many divorced women get their wedding rings made into a dinner ring that they wear on their right ring finger. There is also more to it than a widow/widower wearing their wedding ring, its an emotional place. I met a man who had lost his wife 2 yrs before we connected and not only did he wear his wedding ring, but he never cleaned out his wife's personal possession, clothing and personal grooming items in the bathroom. I found this a little creepy. When we were out he appeared alright with dating, but when he invited me to his home for a BBQ his attitude changed. I think that he felt he was cheating on his wife, as he kept looking at the clock/door as if he was waiting for his wife to come home and catch him. We talked about it later and he realized that he was not ready to begin dating a new person. We still keep in touch and I think he is moving forward, but its gonna take a lot of time.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 226 (view)

Is porn ruining real live sex? Posted: 2/27/2010 1:33:06 PM
Thanks Whytwater - Wow! 3 points for a shot outside the key I think too many people try to find any reason to blame for their phobias or lack of knowledge or understanding about their or their partners sexuality. I laugh when I talk to women my age who still believe the lies parents have told their daughters such as "good girls don't touch themselves", "if you enjoy sex your partnter/husband will think you are trash", and many other silly things parents tell their children to avoid telling them the truth, if in fact they had any real knowledge. I respond with 2 questions: What is un-natural about enjoying intimacy? How is a man supposed to know exactly what turns his parnter on or what she really likes, if she has no idea herself? I then talk to them about being an informed about their sexuality. If porn and silly stories parents have told them were their only form of education on the subject, then they are ignorant on the subject. If as parents these people repeat those same untruthful stories to their children, and allow bad porn to be the childs only other source of education, then they just keep another generation ignorant, and are cheating them from experiencing the wonderfulness of intimacy with someone they love. I blame each child who grow up knowing that their parents told them untruths about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the birds and the bees. People, wake up! What is un-natural about enjoying intimacy? Eyeofthecamera - I have to disagree with your comment "Anything that takes the sensual out of sexuality is bad." Sensuality and sexuality are 2 totally different things and many people think these terms are interchangeable when they are not. Sensuality is all about your 5 senses which has nothing to do with sex, while sexuality is about sex, and one is part or needed to complete the other. Some people believe that if they are having sex with someone, that automatically means they are in a relationship, when this is not always true, because of a little thing called "a little black book with phone numbers of a sure thing". I believe because talking about intimacy is taboo for so many people, or so uncomfortable people get into relationships that are unfullfilling and wind up being hurt or hurting others. People put more energy and time into buying a car, then they do when choosing a parnter to share their life with.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 298 (view)

What's the upside to being over 50 and single Posted: 2/26/2010 7:24:51 PM
OP I think you are not adjusting to singledom because you have not re-defined your life. I know for myself I left a 20+ years marriage and spent well over a year redefining my life, trying to figure out what I had to offer someone in a relationship, what type of relationship and man I wanted, and what my personal likes/dislikes and preferences were. I had to make sure that I was happy with myself and my new life. I found that after I was single, I had compromised away a lot of activities and interests during my marriage and I had to figure out what I wanted out of life at this stage of my life. It can be hard to figure these things out and get to work making the needed changes to make yourself happy. Its been over 3 years and I'm still working on me, however once I began to define who I was, what I wanted in a man and relationship, and where I was going in life, it made dating a whole lot easier. Good luck to you, and as the Michael Jackson song goes..........."I'm starting with the man in the mirror".................good words to assist with re-defining your life.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

How important is Fitting? Posted: 2/26/2010 7:13:16 PM
IMO I think fitting is more important now than when I was younger. As OP noted we desire different things as we grow up as we define ourselves, create our lives and decide who we include in our inner circle of family/friends. I am at a point in my life where kids are in university, I am single once again and re-defining my life. I don't have the time or desire to put up with people's behaviours and actions as I would have when I was 20 or 30. I know what I am looking for in a partner, and how important common interests and lifestyles are. I'm not desperate or feel an urgency to find someone as I have a nice life and would like to share it with the right person. I hope to find someone who feels the same way I do about fitting together and enjoying our time together.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 136 (view)

Staying with Sex Addicts--Rehab Notwithstanding? Posted: 2/26/2010 6:58:46 PM
Sex Addicts...............please! This sounds like a trailer for the next Dr Phil program! I believe that the term "sex addict" is a label to justify unacceptable behaviour just like people who are rude/nasty consider themselves "sarcastic". That is a big pile of steaming crap! People cheat because they believe they will get away it, or believe that they have the right to do it. Why do women stay...........for the money/power/lifestyle that they would not enjoy if they left the marriage. I don't think the wives the OP mentioned disrespect the sanctity of marriage, in fact I am sure they were hurt and humiliated by their husbands acts of infidelity. These women are not dumb, they view the "opportunity" as a business transaction and made their husbands "pay" dearly for their transgressions. Personally, infidelity is a deal breaker for me, as life is too short. I would rather have less money and be happy alone than to be married to a man that did not respect me or our wedding vows. I make the man in my feel important and I believe that he should recriprocate, or the relationship does not stand a chance of survival.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 221 (view)

Is porn ruining real live sex? Posted: 2/26/2010 6:43:31 PM
Personally, I don't think Porn has ruined real live sex any more than daytime soaps have ruined relationships or family life. Its not real, its Hollywood - get informed people! Nothing wrong with porn if you have an open mind, are comfortable in your own skin and are confident with your sensuality (5 senses definition), and your sexuality. Intimacy is all about enjoying each other, and keeping things exciting and interesting only strengthens a good relationship. Porn, toys, different positions, locations, sexy lingerie and anything else you can think of to inspire each other is wonderful and good. A relationship belongs to both people and each are equally responsible for tending to it the way one looks after a garden.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

That was bad. May I please have some more? Posted: 2/26/2010 6:31:43 PM
Most guys have the number and address of a sure thing in their little black book. Obviously this guy will take what he can get until something better comes along. People treat you how you let them, so if being a sure thing is all this woman expects or will/can live with, it will go on till he finds someone better to replace her with.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

If they call us women Cougars, what do they call the Men? Posted: 2/26/2010 6:25:00 PM
GoodmanGreg - I take exception to your comment "mustangs or camaros" cause my summer ride is a Mustang convertable.......... Lets see, being of cougar age, but not interested in young cougar meat...hmmm what would I call the men..................... still thinking.........Oh! I've got it! Men without mirrors in their home........................ or how about delusional thinking that its their looks/charm/etc instead of their money that has bought.....oh, I mean caught the young lady's interest and attention.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

'i met the love of my life on a sex site' Posted: 2/26/2010 6:09:08 PM
Definitely some interesting comments in this thread. I have checked out AFF and have noticed that a very large percentage of the men on that site were also on POF, so I don't think "the pickens" are any better. Just because someone is on AFF does not mean that they are only intersted in empty or casual sexual experiences. I beleive that all relationships are started by that spark of chemistry. For many men its a sexual interest in that special woman, and for many women its about an emotional connection with a good looking man. I believe that both men and women need to desire the other sexually for things to move forward, but many women will not admit it - I know its important for me. To be successful in finding the right person is to have more sources than just an online dating site. I have found that many people on dating sites (paid or free) use it as cheap entertainment and are not honestly looking to find/meet someone. Some people are lazy and are more interested in finding "someone" rather than finding "the right someone", and that usually leads to heartache and breakup. I believe that its unfair to paint any person on any dating site with the same brush based on a few experiences - good or bad. Liars are liars and eventually their true spots come out. I think internet dating sites give people a false sense of familiarity based on the speed of interaction. I have found that some people let their guard down after 4-6 email messages and their mind creates some kind of quasi-relationship with this new stranger who is paying attention to them. I have met some men who have thought that our first coffee meet was just a formality and that they were in a relationship with me because we had exchanged 6 or so messages and things seemed to be good. The first few times this happened I was kind of freaked out and began being more cautious. I think I have things figured out now - lol but alas, I am still single. I don't really think it matters if you are on POF or AFF, people make assumptions and any form of dating should be about finding someone compatible that you want to spend time with, and dating is totally subjective. I think being honest about what each of you are looking for, and what is important to each of you. I know what I am looking for in a man and while we are talking/messaging to find out what we have in common, our likes/dislikes, and when we appear to live somewhat comperable lifestyles, I have no problem sharing my likes/dislikes about intimacy. In my world intimacy in very important and I have no trouble letting the man know that I am very sensual (5 senses definitation), and am very comfortable in my own skin and with my sexuality. I believe the line "if some is good, then more is much better" adequately describes my thoughts on the quality and quantity of intimacy with the right person. Its all subjective. I don't think that defining AFF as "w h o r e s R us" is a fair statement to make, because people all have different points of reference when trying to define something. People have different thoughts about their sexual desires and what is good for one might not be good for another. Some people are interested in numerous sexual conquests/partners, while others are not. I am not into casual sex with numerous partners and I find that by talking honesty about intimacy, and taking my time to get to know who I am corresponding with has assisted me in understanding the men I talk to more. The men who realize I am not interested in being their next notch on their bedpost get bored and move on rather quickly, and the men who are truly looking for more than a one night stand have more in common with me, and when we meet, we have a nice time topgether regardless if there is a romantic connection. Most of the men I have had coffee dates with and there is no romantic connection have become my friends and I think that is great.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Dance lands teachers in trouble Posted: 2/25/2010 9:05:48 AM
IMO the two teachers were totally inappropriate by their actions. It was hard to believe that adults would conduct themselves in that fashion in front of minors. Where were the principal/s or other teachers who might have viewed this and could have stopped this when it happened? After listening to the news, all the teachers were on the floor in some kind of dance competition. My question is why didnt anyone do something? I don't believe they should be dismissed/fired, but there needs to be some kind of financial punishment. However teachers outside of private schools are unionized so there is probably some kind of loop hole available to the union/association to protect the teachers positions. As an adult, and someone who has worked with children in other areas, I am embarrassed by these teachers actions. I think their behaviour speaks volumes about their professionalism, morals and respect for themselves, other teachers and the students. They definitely knew better.........................

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 645 (view)

Is sex as important to you as it once was? Posted: 2/16/2010 4:11:18 PM
Interesting question, and some very good answers. For me intimacy is more important than just getting laid. I was once told that intimacy is a dance and intercourse is the bow/curtsey at the end, and I have used this line on numerous occuassions. Relationships change as time goes on and by the time people are noticing that intimacy has evaporated, means the relationship is in trouble. I have found through my past relationships that not all people are interested in keeping the home fires buring and believe that doing work to pick a mate and then get married is the end of it. To me relationships need to be tended to as one tends their garden. I have always believed that if you want love to endure, you must make it endearing. This is one of those moments, where one gets smarte wih age. Good luck to everyone.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 325 (view)

Approaching the subject of sex with older women Posted: 2/16/2010 4:04:23 PM
Tom 4342 - 2 funny an urban legend. ROFLMAO When discussing relationships, wants, desires, wishes and dreams over coffee or a glass of wine with someone new that you might entertain the thought of moving things forward, in my world includes intimacy, as that is part of a healthy relationship. Now you might find this unbelivable as I'm over 50 However I have met some men who steer clear of any intimacy issues as some have reportedly said they are beyond the desire about sex. Now, I know that some men may have said that cause they were not interested in me romantically, but this does not appear to be gender specific. I know that intimacy is important with any relationship I am committed to. Its amazing how many men have not had that little chat with their doctors about the little blue pill that will put lead in their pencil.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Walk out on a date? Posted: 2/16/2010 3:48:22 PM
I have only walked out on one coffee first meet. We had talked extensively online about interests, positions, what each of us were looking for in a relationship etc. and we seemed to have things in common to have a decent discussion over a cup of coffee. Well this guy said he was almost 6' tall and the day we met I was 5'2" wearing 2 1/2" heels and could look him right in the eyes without looking up. Next thing I discovered while we were having coffee was that he did not like sports as he said he had previously, or that he had done any travelling, as he said he had never left the city we both lived in. I asked him why did he lie about these things and he said that he thought I would not go out with him if he told the truth. I said I understood, but having someone lie about little things, would make me wonder what they would do with something really important or life altering. I tried to make the coffee meet as pleasant as possible telling him that I was really interested in someone who enjoyed sports, travelling and a few other things at the same level that I enjoyed them. That cup of coffee I ordered seemed to be the largest I have ever ordered, and I wished it would evaporate more quicker than it was. I then asked him if he had any questions for me, as I felt like I was doing most of the talking. It was really hard for this guy to make conversation and that is a deal breaker for me, as I love stimulating conversation. He looked at me and said that he was impressed that I was "top heavy" and while that caught me off guard, he reached over, grabbed a handfull of boob and said aloud, "My Gawd, they're real!" Well, I had never expected that and after laughing about it, as I could not believe his nerve, I responded to him by saying "Please loose my email addy and don't bother contacting me any more, because this coffee meet is over. Then I left. He followed me into the parking lot and said "its too bad you don't want to date me, but its ok becaue you drive a more expensive car than I do. Not many guys leave me speechless.....................this one did. However, it was a great story to share when I was out with girlfriends.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Blue Bombers 2010 Posted: 2/12/2010 8:37:53 AM
Fort Garry Dark, you are so right about the 2010 season starting on a blank clean page. I hope the Bombers management, coaches and players get it together this year and begin putting together a winning team. Like other here, I will take a "show me" position before I get excited about the organizations new staff. It would really be nice if the entire organization could get together and produce a team that would dominate the league, instead of the previous showing where they fought hard to win the title of "last place team in the league". GO BOMBERS

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Income, ?? Posted: 1/29/2010 9:25:59 AM
I don't think a person's income level is relevant information when you are meeting new people. If its all about money or sex, a person's intention comes out quickly in conversations. Twoshadows, golddiggers come in both sexes, its not just women. Personally I am leaving this area blank as the choice "prefer not to say" is not an option. It's funny things like smoking, drinking and marital status all offer those choices but income level does not.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Brutal Honesty? Posted: 1/23/2010 6:32:29 PM
OP - I agree with you about people who claim to be "brutally honest" and wear it like a badge. I find these people to be the same as those who claim to be "sarcastic". It gives them some right to be hurtful, cruel and nasty. I treat people how I would like to be treated - with dignity and respect. I can always find a nice way to tell someone I'm not interested in them, without verbally abusing them or make them feel bad about themselves. When I am contacted by a man, and find his profile states that he is "brutally honest" or "sarcastic", it immediately gets the red flags waving and I am cautious. I just don't understand why people cannot play nice in the sandbox.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

The best advice you've ever gotten??? Posted: 1/23/2010 6:19:27 PM
Never throw the first punch....................but take care of business before the 2nd one comes along. Be careful of the words you use today.............as tomorrow you may be eating them. Trust those until they prove they are not worthy of your trust. In order to have good friends, you need to be one. If you want to find great love, you need to give great love. In order to love another, you must first make peace with your past, and love yourself.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

How long would it take for the Earth to get rid of the clues of our technology? Posted: 1/23/2010 6:14:08 PM
I was in Venuzula (sp?) about 10 years ago and went on a eco trek into the rainforest. We travelled to a nature preserve being run by naturalists on the grounds of what remained of a hotel complex that was being built some 10 - 20 years previous. This hotel complex was never completed and there was significant decay of the concrete/stone exterior walls. I remember being told that the project was abandoned due to civil unrest at the time. Political power changed hands and the new govt. wanted more money and the hotel people just pulled out and left. The jungle had pretty much taken back the construction site. There was little left of the original construction and the land that was cleared to the beach was completely reclaimed by the jungle. Construction roads had been reduced to trails. Erosion/mudslides contoured the previous construction grade sloped dirt/gravel roads, and roads that accomodated trucks were reduced to walking trails. This was all done by nature. I found the stats given out on the tv series mentioned above to be unbelievable. The claims made were void of rational based on the reason why humans were no longer on the planet, or did I miss that eposode. Its strange that humans were gone, but animals, insects, etc lived. If whatever caused humans to vanish, would also alter the erosion facts/patterns of anything man made.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

What do men want ???? Posted: 1/21/2010 8:01:02 PM
Rozzko - not all men are like you, and many women (including me) are quite pleased to know that. Power, glory and sexual gratification are usually self-centered, hollow rewards for walking on others to satisfy your own wants/desires/needs. You might have that in your life, but I bet you would not be on this site if you were happy and content with your life. Somehow, I pity people like you, more than I dislike them. Manswers - funny show and I would suspect someone married who is looking for extra-marital adventures would appreciate that. Your kind is such an appealing option for women...........mmm.....mmm....not friggin' likely.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Horses helping people program in this very city Posted: 1/21/2010 7:49:03 PM
I am familiar with horse therapy and it is no where similar to dog and cat therapy used for seniors. Horses can calm traumatized people of all ages, provide these same people with the abillity to trust again, and create an activity that gives people hope and somethingto look forward to. This therapy has prevented very disturbed people from taking their own lives. In addition there is a wonderful program called riding for the disabled which has helped mentally and physically disabled children improve their lives. Some kids with neurological disabilities who are unable to walk, have been taught the motion of walking from the natural rhythm of the horse while they were riding. This takes a lot of time but combined with walking devices, kids have learned how to walk. There are kids who are emotionless to many different stimulations seem to make a connection with the horses and over time are more respondant to other stimulations. These are great programs and I commend the OP for sharing this great information.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Why is the general public discouraged from space exploring? Posted: 1/16/2010 2:14:33 PM
As the world evolves technologically, its more of a race to keep up. People who don't care about or understand science/technology, space exploration and world affairs usually cannot see beyond their own personal needs and environment. Due to the economic problems in the world, its easy for those who struggle the most to survive to not support space exploration, and scientific/technological advancements. Many people have forgotten about the rage and horror on 9/11, once the story no longer sold medial advertising space. I often think about how horrific things could have been if satalites were used instead of airplanes. People are known for doing stupid things without thinking them through or the consequences these actions cause. These "idiots" who practice stupidity cost all taxpayers when government agencies have to rescue them, regardless if its in an ocean, in the air or other dangers. I have no problems with "govt hoops" for these people getting permits. I would prefer the coast guard stopping illegals, drug trafficers and others from entering our peaceful countries.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Can preparing a natal horoscope for a person be reasonably called an intimate encounter? Posted: 1/16/2010 1:56:59 PM
OP you bring up a very interesting point. I have never thought of personal natal horoscopes to being equal to an intimate encounter. I view the process as a way to help people understand the how/why they do things, what their internal tug of war is between polarized personal desires, and I try to help them understand what personality traits they have that make them special and wonderful, while pointing out the things that naturally get them into trouble. I view the process as an opportunity to understand and improve oneself. Like VoidDancer I too have the ability and respect for this learned gift. There are different levels one can delve into while preparing a personalized natal chart and like reading Tarot Cards, Palm Reading and other mystic readings, the onus is on the reader/mystic to provide only the information the seeker can handle. I have refused to do charts on people who are so frail of personality, that they can not handle negatives, and others who disregard and poke fun at anything that is not flattering to them - as all charts do point out positive and negative traits. It provides a great feeling when I help someone who is struggling with internal issues that can be explained, understood and the effects modified for the person to live a better life. I know for myself there are some astrological signs I try to stay away from as they are a negative influence on me, and the relationships never work out. Like anything, its what you put into it, how you view your special gift, and how your talent is received.

haywiresue

Joined: 9/27/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

how do you know when a women loves you Posted: 12/31/2009 4:07:18 PM
OP, as others have said this is not common behaviour with women who are emotionally stable and truly care about the man they are involved with. I think the first red flag for you should have been when she asked you, to ask her to marry you. She sounds kind of manipulative in my opinion. Its one thing for a woman to ask where the relationship is going, but quite another for her comments. If the relationship has been up and down, getting married is going to make things worse. If in a heated moment she can say that she doesn't really love you, believe it, because people who love one another will talk things out and if the argument becomes heated, they will not say hurtful things to one another. Like others on here, I would say run from this woman with your hands in the air as fast as you can - you certainly deserve better. I think she might have a hatred on men in general from the residue from a previous relationship. I know for myself, I treat those I love with kindness, appreciation, honesty and respect, and this woman you are with does not seem to respect you or the relationship you have together.

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