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chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Is it possible for a man to have bad s%x? Posted: 5/28/2008 3:43:56 AM
OP, yes, but I think your husband was trying to hurt your feelings and from what you said, he did a pretty good job of hurting you. What was your heated argument about? Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Do men respond to women's desires? Posted: 5/16/2008 2:15:46 AM
OP, I try to do that, but the communcation street has to be both ways not single one way. The things left un-said in some conversations mean more than what is said, if you know the way they thing, or if you are a student of facial tics, and body language.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Looking for a female... Am I weird because this bothers me? Posted: 5/4/2008 3:37:19 AM
OP, But genetics is a favorite hobby of mine, especially Tropical fish,, no pun intended. I am looking for something I can't remember what I wrote in my profile last, I have slept since then I think... Goes off to post to his profile before he goes to bed,,,, been up since 2:30 am Saturday morning might be still up when you read this next week... HI! Pass me the scope dearheart, I have targets in sight...PS... I am a Target Specialist in stuff.... I am used to staying up 36 to 180 hours at a time, normal Ops for me. Not to be tried by real living breathing humans.... LMAO Okay I do get a little giddy at this hour of the morning. One James got lost, Another James got lead away in handcuffs, and One James is I hope at home asleep ready for church in the morning, and the last James is sleeping to or out partying............. I know to many people with the same names. I know Three Tiffany's, and the newest Jessica likes me, I play pool very strangely, Break! Sink! repeat,,,,, done. All with the tip half of my pool cue..... Yes I am that good. Guys should always call females Angels........ I do, I get more ladies looking at me than most men dream about. Trust me guys, be polite and say. Hi angel, you have brightened my day and smile and let them react, then play with the field. Or 4 Angels just passing me by, Thank you Angels as you turn as they pass you by and you go with the flow..... ALL Females are Angels, sent from heaven to please my weary soul as I Burn in Hell's furnance waiting for the ticket home. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 422 (view)

what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks Posted: 5/4/2008 3:22:13 AM
Plan #D,,,,, Call Charles, I think my Phone number is in my profile and I will give you free tips, on cooking, dating, or generally most anything you ask about... but cooking is my hobby I get paid to kill bad guys... If I am going to use garlic nothing is going to be fat free. But there will be lots more Garlic and Butter to add to the X-V Olive oil to make things nice and tasty. I rarely use fat free in anything I cook unless their diet needs it and someone else planned their diet for them and they can't trust me know know better for them on the taste and texture and the way their body will work better on things like full fat and heavy bad things for them. Laughs,,, not everyone will notice me on the flip side, but see you there in about three seconds. Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 421 (view)

what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks Posted: 5/4/2008 3:12:37 AM
OP, The problem is that people are ruder than we would like them to be. Plain facts, niceness takes time out of my busy life I have to after all, answer my cell phone 24/7 no matter if I want to talk to them or not, it might be GOD calling and his number is unlisted. It might be my stock broker telling me I lost another 4 million at Bear Sterns on that run a few weeks ago. Whatever their reasons they can't possibilly be bothered to be nice, it might ruin their personal rep.... I have in the past been rude to people... I still work for the US Government, at times I have had a really deadly day, friends gone from earth, and I forget that things are peachy keen in your life, but not mine. It does get harder at times to smile when your best friends, or others you knew are not there to tussle your hair as you run by each other in the halls. My Second wife cured me about for good my rudeness, she was always polite even when they were not. I got told a time or three and being harder headed than most I got the messege finally. I gave out 100 dollars in tips today on 65 dollars worth of food, drinks, and coffee. My name is Charles and now more people know me than I had ever hoped for yesterday when I was just going to be rude to myself in my mirror cause I did not want to leave the house. Death and Taxes are sure things, no, Death is sure and slow or fast it happened friday to a good buddy, but today 3 were saved, I went out and was nice for the sake of being nice, and to play pool. There will be no way to explain the bad behaviors, without first understanding who and why their are so mad about some.... only mad makes rude,,, in my life anyway, your mileage may vary, or very, or variously very vary..... Be nice to someone you may never see them again. Charles. Aka, The Red Dragon, Big Bird, Death at 65,500 feet and falling fast. I go pooooooooooofy!!!!

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

50% of men don't exist - confession Posted: 3/25/2008 2:28:11 AM
OP, I notice every female, in fact I track most everything. Though having a working knowledge of Target Acquisition SoftWare, and having been trained as a Sniper. I notice a lot more than most people. What you are experiencing is the Filters built into you. You have thoughts going on in your head that you don't even know are there most times. Shutting down your ability to see everything around you, you only see what makes it through the filter. Most everyone sees through Jaded eyes, your life adds the layers to your filters and if you want to know how to get rid of the filters so that you notice more things, let me know there is a whole process that most people need to go through to Literally De-tox their own brains to be able to see everything in the room. Knowing that you are a predator, watching everything for the right prey to make dinner of, or the right flower to give to your loved one, is something you have to practice at. Childern are the best at noticing everything going on around them, their brains are seeing things they can not explain, but as time goes on, they have been taught to ignore things.... You have to literally Un-teach yourself to ignore nothing. Hugs, Love, Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

what's your take on this? Posted: 3/25/2008 1:55:30 AM
OP, That is a toughy, seems like his goal was spend as much time with you as possible and hope for breakfast with you the next day, but maybe I am wrong. If I have spent that much time with someone, I usually am contacting them again even if I don't have time. The old "I don't have time to contact you during the week" excuse just does not fly with me. I have a 24 hour a day schedule, I am doing something if I am awake, and I still manage to keep contact with everyone I want too. Giving that as an excuse means he was not telling you something, and the lack of contact after yours means, likely your best bet is to move on. Hugs, Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Is he interested in her? Or just using her? Posted: 3/20/2008 10:56:47 PM
OP, I'll answer the sex question first. Only if he had not had sex with her first in my opinion, having had it for so long and now going without, with only this as an explaination seems fishy. You can make that SPECIAL in your own head, you don't have to wait a month before the wedding, if you have already had sex that is. Me and my 3rd wife waited till we got married, But I did not wait with my first two wives, I will say that I plan on waiting again till marriage, but that is just me. I would want to know about his other properties before we got married, especially after having co-signed on a vehicle. I am from the older school, where both man and woman are in charge of the finances, that way we know where our money is going. I do tend to let whomever is better at balancing a check book handle it,but we both know where the money is going. In case I die, she knows where we buried all the gold coins and treasure chests.... As you have discribed it, I do find him seemingly leading down a dark finacial future for her if she is not careful. I still want to see the land, boats, house in the alps, etc etc before the wedding bells. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Should I or shouldn't I call him... Posted: 3/20/2008 10:42:41 PM
OP, As it stands, we are still waiting to hear from you as to you maybe seeing him as the movie theatre is in his neck of the woods. But I keep getting this feeling that he just is not getting his act together enough for you to add him to your dating list. He seems to be an odd fit for you. You have said that you are a planning type of person, and he is a as it flows kind of guy. From experience it is really hard to mold those two traits together, I tend to plan and my first wife was a do things as the wind flowed, we got into more hassles than I care to think about. I am bendable and bent my standards to meet hers, but it did get old after a while. This one thing seems to be hanging you up a lot. He just can't seem to make a plan and stick to it, and it has been chaffing you all along this thread. Going on over a week now. Also you know this needs to be like a new relationship, getting to know one another again, and he wants it to be what he has in his head rather than what you have in your head, which results in you again not knowing anything. My advice is to face the music and understand you two can be friends, but dating is likely not to be what you want out of this arrangement. Unless he is willing to at least meet you halfway along this road, you two will always be walking on two different streets. Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

so being a female marine has very little benifits... Posted: 3/20/2008 9:30:15 PM
OP, Growing up as an Air Force Brat all I can say is, look for the Men not the boys. Thank you for your service. Independent women scare a lot of males off, it goes against what they have been taught it seems. Something about women needing men to help them along in life. All my wives have been independent women, but I was raised with a military family's background I saw a lot of females in uniform while growing up and knew to think differently than most. That and my mom being able to shot a 22 rifle better than her whole family. "Hands you the Sushi knife, dinner at 6 bring more fish" Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 329 (view)

Do Christian Women Scare You Off ??? Posted: 3/20/2008 9:16:59 PM
Op, No they don't. From what I have scanned in the posts, it seems to turn off some fellows. I am sure sooner or later, being a Christian man, tenders its own scaring off of females. Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

rejection... Posted: 3/20/2008 8:52:26 PM
OP, " Hi Charles, it has been nice talking to you, but I just don't think we are ever going to be more than just friends." Short and sweet and to the point. Easier than anything else I have heard. What hurts is the rejection after a while of dating. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Partner left me, lives with her, why does he say misses me Posted: 3/20/2008 8:39:50 PM
OP, Drop him his note, bye bye see you in the here after, but here after stop texting me, you made your move. At 61 he should know better than to drop one lady for another just to have a fling, which is how he is acting. For you the trust the two of you had got broken in a horrible way, there is not much you can do to repair it at this point. If he dropped his new gal and stayed single for a while, living alone, and then tried to rebuild the trust the two of you had, I might go for that, but don't you dare let him waltz back in your life without him paying the price for broken trust. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

If you genuinely thought she was 'the one' Posted: 3/20/2008 8:28:06 PM
OP and Msg#9, I have not seen myself act any different in all of my relationships. 3 of them did end up being married to me for their short times. Albeit that being said, my last marriage was the fastest and the shortest one so far, I don't want to repeat it any time soon, so I am taking my time not jumping the gun and jumping off the cliff hoping I remembered to pack my shute in the correct fashion like I have in the past. But If I thought this fictional "she" were the one, I would be a bit more questioning of myself than I have been in the past, I don't want this next one to be anything less than my only one from now on. "hands himself -a be cautious flag-" For me sex is for marriage, so she will have to agree to that one in a big way. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

need MALE input on this Posted: 3/20/2008 7:52:03 PM
OP, clearly he is not into the dating thing or even much into the internet dating for that matter. What you have in real life is called someone you see about once a week, chat about the weather and go on about your business, nothing more than that. To many people don't take the time to invest themselves in an internet only based relationship. The guy you are talking to is a prime example of this, not investing his time or it even seems his energy.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Do happily married men spontaneously have intimate moments with single women? Posted: 3/15/2008 7:19:55 PM
Do happily married and jumping into more than his own bed, belong in the same sentence? NO! If he were happily married he'd keep his pants on and not be jumping into those of anyone but his wife. If he is a lying cheating cad then yeah he jumps around on his wife whenever he can. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

40-year-old virgin dilemna Posted: 3/15/2008 7:15:48 PM
First off they are dating her, second off if she is then good for her, from my Christian stand point not many ladies are these days and more power to her. Does she plan on staying one till marriage, or has she even thought that far ahead? As a guy I'd be more than pleased to know that she is one. It does have this newest that we mostly lose when we should not have. I'd think telling only her steady dating guy would be the name of the game though. Wait till she has a guy friend that is fitting in well with her life, no need to add pressure from any ole Thomas, Richard or Harry. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

my ex left me for my best friend Posted: 3/15/2008 5:46:21 PM
OP, I have no clue, but prehaps you will get better e.mails in the future. I wonder how many best friends have died for this reason in resent years/decades. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

push to meet or be ok with it?? Posted: 3/15/2008 5:41:54 PM
My first question is what prevents you from going there? My second question is why has it taken this long for him to not offer to visit you? Busy life is one thing and if he takes the time to talk to you as often as you say, I would hope he wants more than just a 1,400 mile chat mate. I have driven 400 miles one direction just to go on a date, after a few months of this we moved just around the corner, took that long to amass monies to make the move and a place to stay for me. We never got past boyfriend and girlfriend stage, but at least our dates were easier. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

DNA test before Marriage Posted: 3/15/2008 5:33:21 PM
The test will at least set your mind at ease, Or having a better run down of his/her family history/geneology would be good, but to just be safe DNA will tell you if they are related. I saw the title and thought, test to see if date is human or from outer space, new tests sold at local drug store prove you are human 90% of time..... Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

only seven? Posted: 3/15/2008 3:42:28 PM
OP, I have had sex with 6 females. So the number is albeit high for me. I have been married 3 times. total time 12 years. You are looking at an AVERAGE number, that means that there is 100 old fellows that it was them and their first and only wife, and 100 fellows that had sex with 50 females, then you average in the rest of the 5,000 men and you get 7 per man per lifetime. But I am only 44 and might be married at least one more time, and who knows what happens when I hit 85 where that number will lay. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

When men say no head games what do they mean? Posted: 3/14/2008 7:13:17 PM
OP, head games are where you say something but mean something else, and you or in this case, whomever, is playing a kind of game a play on words. Case in Point. My 3rd wife, says, "I don't like drama." Yet everytime she turns around she is telling this or that about him, her, she, it and whomever else she can think of, saying things that might be fact, things that she thinks she heard them say and at times things that might just be rumors of the wind passing over her own ears. She is the Drama in her own life. When I walk into a room I ask how the people in the room are. I talk about the weather, the politics of the day, the comics I read and general info, but not about people. Head games are like Drama themes. I tell you one thing and swear up one side of the house and down the other that what I am telling you is the truth, then I do the oppisite thing. Life can be full of joy and pleasure, but if you let it fill with half truths, things you want but will not work to get, Rumors about people you know, or don't know, you can fill your life with the soap operas off of TV faster than you can enjoy the full moon in the sky at night. ..... Head games are like what my 3rd wife calls Drama. I still Love her, but I take what she says now with a grain of salt, A large grain. Charles. PS. What was the 80's hair band with "head games" in the title lyrics?

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Calling or not calling, why do you get the number? Posted: 3/14/2008 7:00:13 PM
OP, I have no clue, I'd ask was he high, had he been drinking, where did he write your number down on, If I don't have paper or my cell phone, I take ink to skin and write numbers there. I don't get many numbers, but when I do they go into my cell phone, even if I have to dig for the little guy in my backpack. If I don't have my cell phone on me I write in ink on my skin, Hey I am radical that way okay. If this guy did not call you, then he is not worth your time. I know getting the good vibes from someone seems like it is all working but I have had days when the girl seems to be liking me just fine and I try as I might to get a number out of her and no go, so I chalk it up as loving the party but not wanting the cake after the party is over. I give out my number to ladies on here and tell them if they want to to call. let's see I have had 3 females call me in a year of being at POF. In real life if I get a number I call as soon as I can to continue our conversations from the real world to the airwaves. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Have you ever loved a woman? Posted: 3/14/2008 6:48:26 PM
OP, Yes. I have loved, am in love, do still love and will always love all those females I have loved as mates ( Married ) in my past. LOVE is not such a big a word as it is a big concept. I just can't live with my past wives. One liked her new boyfriend more than me, we got a devorce. One liked the ole sleepless me and not the well rested not as funny to her anymore me that she found she was married too, or whatever it is that she seems to not be able to stand about me these days. One was not through with her previous male friend when he showed back up from the dead ( dead to the world and dead to self seem to be two different things ), she commented that she wishes she and I were still married, but maybe it was just her angst for today that she said that. I love Kara, She is a female friend that seems to get underneath my subtle speach and tell me what I meant to say after I say it, she is a friend i'd date, marry if cases could be changed, but they can't, yet I still love her. I love Angela, she is a special someone, whom I will always be fond of, but will likely never date her, I do owe her 4 loafs of bread from the Christmas raffle. I love my mom. My Aunt Sis, and several other aunts. I love several people I e.mail from here. Which of them do I love enough to get married too......??? Haven't a clue, checks his fingers, nope no ring on them. So yes I have Loved a Woman, though none of them are currently married to me. Yes I know I whacked your idea of what Love means. Check its references in the Bible, you will get further instruction on what Love can be. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Birthday Party Posted: 3/14/2008 6:36:50 PM
OP, Three Hundred people I didn't know showed up at my funeral, I wanted to complain but just could not get my casket lid off in time. I would not feel slighted in the least knowing you, I know you like guys but don't date guys like us. Hope your male friends are as mature as you hope they are. Charles. The 300 were there for the wake, seems someone found my will and the tag line to have a big party.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Single and just date or committed and living together? OVER 40 please Posted: 3/14/2008 6:18:10 PM
I'd prefer to work toward married and living together. I won't live together before marriage though. We'd be a long term dating pair. If I am at that place where we are a couple I would not date other females and she should not date other guys. We are a pair, connected with commitment to each other. I would over time try to guide her toward marriage as that is what I want out of my life. She would know also that as un-married but a dating couple sex is out of the question for us. My rules, and hers would be on the same page. Other people will of course have different sets of rules. Charles. Why do you ask? Oh and I would exchange dinner and washings and things of that nature, I am rather a domesticated male. I do laundry, change diapers, fix the plumbing, etc etc.. If she and I were on a 4 day hike, and we ended at my place, she gets the bed I the couch till she gets to her place, and I do the hiking gear cleanup.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Why do so many men insist on not smiling in their pics? Posted: 3/14/2008 6:12:13 PM
My friends were lucky to get me to appear in my pictures. The only lady I would appear in photos with, and Have was my cat, she is off to heaven and until I get another cat it will be these photos. I have not aged much from them till now, and the hair is growing as fast as it can to get to be as long as it once was. If you like long hair great and if you don't well that is great too. But my hair stays longer than it does short. I am one of two things, a ham or camera shy. My photos are during a camera shy phase. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

Could you go 11 months without sex? Posted: 3/14/2008 5:47:53 PM
OP, Your friend should be made aware of her cheating husband. Both my first wife and second wife, had medical issues that made sexual intercourse off limits, Cheating on them was out of the question and should be for most married men. If you find a male cheating on his wife even after as little as 2 months, then he is not really married to her now is he??? Governor of New York should have been shot, like they'd have done his wife in the olden days. What has become of the human race after all? There are about 50 things husbands and wifes can do that is pleasing to them both and not classified as intercourse. For a guy to cheat shows how limited he is mentally and how much of a cad he is in reality. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

What do guys think about a girl contacting them first? Posted: 3/14/2008 5:39:59 PM
OP, Messege me first and I will be happy to write you back, it happens enough now that I am not as shocked as I once was. I don't get shocked enough in daily life. (( Okay put the power cables back down Heather, I did not mean it that way!!! )) If they are going to be good conversationalist you mailing them first should not be an issue. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

How do you guys do it?? Posted: 3/14/2008 5:36:34 PM
OP, This is one avenue toward meeting people. When I signed on here ages ago I was more mobile than I am now, but I still like making new friends, and some of them are local to my area. Techinically I met my first wife via the internet, and my second wife as well. My thrid wife and I met while both of us were online, but we were sitting next to each other at the library. Okay I calssified myself as a geek, or as I like to call myself an Informational Junkie. I do not use this as my only way of meeting females though. There is also the real world out there. I know several females that I have asked out, or been on dates with that do not even know me online, but for my blog site or e.mail address. I guess I can't answer you totally about online dating as I don't like to just date online, I would rather meet in the real world as soon as possible. Everyone that I have ever dated from online, I met within several weeks in real life. Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Being led on... Posted: 3/12/2008 8:16:45 PM
op, First off, It would not have been me, I make sure others know I am going to be there or not and why not and make plans to re-meet. For him to just drop the ball as if it were a hot potato and never pick it back up, seems like maybe you either went to slow with him and he just figured you'd get over it, or he was not on the same page that you thought he was. It still seems rather Cadish on his part. So I won't call him a cad, but rather his actions lack a lot to be desired and show him to be less than willing to be worth your trust in the future. For yourself, be sure that the trust is really there, do some sort of test run without full dating commitment yet in your test run, get him to send you flowers at work or something soft and nice, or like that, not the expenive kind but something light and airy. That wins your trust in him and then he can get a date with you, and go from there. I don't even expect a kiss these days on my fourth date,,, But I will kiss your hand if I first meet you and you will let me. I am old fashoined that way. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

why do men look for Russian women??? Posted: 3/12/2008 8:00:25 PM
OP, he did not want drama but created it himself. He sounds a lot like my 3rd wife, whose very words were, "Let us not tell anyone our plans lest they add to the drama that everyone is talking about." What is really being said is, I don't want to be with you because I myself can not handle the lack of me being in total control and I can not be in total control unless I am the Director, Writer, producer, and Lead actor..... 7 months, is a long time to be together for him to bail out on you especially after you are looking at houses, but he was a rocket off another relationship from Russia, when he met you and Now back to Russia he goes. I have found via other sites that, Russian and Eastern Bloc, Ladies have this habit, due to the fact of their own society to hang onto the Nice American, Or Other Non-Russian male with a grip that just goes to show you why I and other caring men should steer clear of them. They come at you from beaten to a pulp mental and romantic relationships to see you as a scapegoat, a way out of their bad life, getting paid less than most people but more than 3rd world countries, living in apartments that might have to share a bathroom with others. They see the Western male as a GOD SEND and they will readily say those three words that men just love to hear. I LOVE YOU. They will and do try their best to be honest, but they will love for less reason than most females, that most men in the West have ever been exposed too. That being said. You as this guys resently put off lover/future mate, need to understand that your fellow, had other issue he must not have told you about. He is not the adult you thought he was, If he is willing to let you his so called SOUL mate go that easy then he was fibbing to you, I won't call him a liar out right, but he was fibbing to you about the Soul Mate part. Best wishes to you, I hope you don't think that all men are like him, because we aren't. But I can only state what I know about myself, not other men. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Translation required: not looking for attachment? Posted: 3/11/2008 7:07:56 PM
OP, heh,,, they want the cake, but don't want to clean up afterwards,, IE sex without commitment. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Why look into a woman's eyes? Posted: 3/11/2008 6:46:43 PM
OP, My conversational style is to look everyone in the eyes,, I get the instant knowledge of where their attention is going. I usually use eye contact to make several converstational points later on if they are listening things I am saying. But I look everyone even relatives in the eyes, it has been my habit longer than I can remember when I first started doing it. But the reason is I get to see so much that goes on behind the eyes I usually see the whole face in this intense look, but I can also is near by see the crowd beyond them and know what is going on around them and if they are wering glasses I see the reflection behind me and even can at times see what the reflection in their eyes of what I look like. This all helps me remember to listen to this person instead of talking all the time, which I can do if I am not careful. I love to compliment people, it gets them on your side and wins them over to things I might later talk about. I don't lie to people, but I try to flatter people whenever possible, and I like to thank people for jobs that they might not otherwise be thanked for by others. All this and the eye contact too, you can really see the happiness in the eyes. Okay I try to charm people. But that is not a bad thing that is used to be a positive influence in any situtiation it also keeps people calm. People I know look to me when things get overly dicey in difficult times, I remain calm to help others and Eye Contact does help in this. If the lady has nice eyes, I do tend to stare at them a whole lot more than I would otherwise, but I have never had anyone mind it from me, Okay that is not true my 2nd wife did not like me to stare at her, she felt like I was giving her undue attention. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Why don't men suggest more than eating or hanging out at home? Posted: 3/11/2008 6:35:47 PM
OP, erm, dating is getting together to do things you both like, if you don't get that from the ones you talk to then try new folks. I'd go on a hike, Though I don't ahve a car, I take the bus places. Little Rock has a nice River Trail all of 14 miles in full circle and plenty of hiking out west, museums and music scenes and places to go other than the regular dinner and movie. Being a good cook myself I am always ready to make food for the trips. It seems like others have said, you just need to ask other guys out. I don't even think about sex until marriage, so maybe I wouldn't be one of those you'd like to go out with. BUT maybe waiting a while before giving in to that urge would be better for you. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Men that get butterflies Posted: 3/11/2008 6:20:21 PM
OP, I used to get butterflies, simular to getting up in front of people and talking, but over time I have taken that in its stride and gotten used to rejection, and If you are in front of people unless you are the paid speaker, only half of them are looking at you, and if you practice your lines or at least know how to smooth over the mistakes you make it helps to strengthen you when you are talking to a new person for the first time. One thing I have found is I preffer to talk to any new personage without others persent, then you only have to deal with one person, it gets harder if they have brought a friend along that might or might not like you even being there. When others get involved you have to work on keeping an even keel with an agressor type and the friendly type. Yesterday for instance, I was talking to a stranger, she was sitting on a public bench in the River Market District. But there was another male near her, I guess he thought he owned her attention and I should not have asked her anything, because verbally attacked me. I did offer to pay for his time, and gave him a quarter, he got more irate then, where upon I stepped back and flipped the quarter into the air and told him, If you want it, there it was. Yeah I guess I was out of hand, but oh well. I later met the lady in a store down the block and now know her first name and that she is a nursing student... Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Guys and their sports--enjoy with girlfriend or without? Posted: 3/10/2008 4:47:19 PM
OP,, I don't have tradition sports, I rock climb, free style (without ropes or safety gear) and I practice several forms of martial arts. I usually train whenever and wherever I can, or at set times, usually right after I wake up and get my devotionals out of the way and then get warm top clothes on I go out alone into the dawn to watch the sun come up. If she wanted to join me, Sure fine, as long as she is a safe distance away from me and I know she is not going to move when I am spinning things fast and furious. If I am rock climbing I hope she is getting great pictures. I don't watch TV and have not for over 10 years, I only see the things bounce electrons off my eyes, when I am in the public forums. So no skin off my misunderstanding that LOST was not a new Movie about the Alpine Skiers in the Nepal highlands, but is a group of folks stuck on a twlight zone of an Island. I do like to seat in the bleachers at a good home town Baseball game and eat the bad for you foods and here the crack of abat around a fast ball and home for a HomeRun, But that is also rare, I don't go alone to most places that I would with company. If she likes sports better than me, then I will learn to watch it if she will have me in there, asking dumb freshmen like questions. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 298 (view)

Do Christian Women Scare You Off ??? Posted: 3/9/2008 11:35:01 PM
OP, Why would a Christian man get scared??? If anyone is scared by Christians maybe they feel scarred by them as well, and then we open a whole new ball of wax up and not I,, I will not go there, to many topics spring forth from just thinking what your topic has brought and I have not read Because I did just post via this typing,,, OP.... OP,,, email me Or I you later I have to run, yes Obeying someone elses rule as this is not my own time nor computer. Huge HUGS all you that have answered before me, carry on, let not little ole me stand in your way of the agreements, or arguements you are posting about. Charles. Author At Large,,,,285 plus or minus 3% those are Pound USDA.... BEAR.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Explain this... Posted: 3/9/2008 11:23:42 PM
Msg #46, I beg to differ with your French saying, but since it is not yours, though you do use it, it forms what you call your chosen opinion through other people's sayings.... The prefect marriage is between two carrying adults with full use of all their eyes, ears, tongues, hearts and senses, they just have to temper them so as not to lose said temper, and they have to be willing to make it right no matter the costs, even to one's own pride, to bend on bended knee and ask for forgiveness when one is not at fault, because that gets them back on an even keel. This is learned from 3 marriages. You would say failed ones, as I am no longer married, but I say failed only in whose eyes?? You are not me nor do you know whence my marriages failed or slipped into the devorced structure. I did not tell my first wife I knew she was cheating on me online. I let her go knowing that I knew nothing and she and I remained friends, Till I lost those e.mail accounts. I can contact her anytime I want to, I am leaving well enough alone. My second wife is now living at her mom's so she told me just Sunday(yesterday) we have each other's cell phone number remembered and logged in handset. My third wife and I talked Today (monday) Just after midnight, we are on speaking terms and she knows I don't much like her current Boyfriend, but I won't harm him, even if he wants to kill me,,, snickers madly,,, Not many things short of one to the head can do that. So failed, or just fallen apart for better fare from another corner in the room.....?!?!?! Do the math, I still have positive contacts even with those 2. But could talk to first wife and do talk to last wife, both who cheated on me inside the web of Holy wedlock. ( Second wife bless her heart, was blaimed of that by everyone but me, I knew where her heart lay, still sorta next to mine, but we are apart because of things we can't solve, no matter how hard we try. ) I am more inclined to look through the female's eyes than I am a man's but I look through my eyes all the time, same story as any man's eyes right??!?? no,,, I am me, you are you. And Yes I know that might make me opinionated again, but I try to look at all the angles so that I can call you all angels. I try very hard not to judge and not to rant, so that said, thanks for the French sayings and keep up the good work, If I have offended you, please let me know, I did not intend that to be the case, If after I ask this or say that, you still feel offended, No Skin off my nose, I did try to be as kind as I could. Hands the floor to the ladies and gents cooing over the baby perched on the Bike, My Neighbor Josh, has a fine HOG,,, 4.5 gallon tank, Dual Pipes Right Side, Nice Leather hand grips with frills, and was reeeeeeevvvvvvinnggg it just a few hours ago to keep her happy,, No riding, he had a car to fix.. His wife will never ever ride again,, They nearly died together a few years ago on a hill I know real well,,, Kills lots of bikers, but not them or me.. Where is my little diaper changing going to show up? Charles

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Chemistry: Fact or Fiction? Posted: 3/7/2008 7:49:22 PM
OP, Fact....... But that being said, in most cases we can't see the fact for all the fictional attitudes and stances people pose. You get one in the conversation and then when you meet them in real life they can't keep up the conversation in real life that they could in the online world. (( I am typing fast if I typo, blaim the guy holding my cue cards and singing the bad version of lovers and haters, or was that a styx song from a kiss cd )), yes I think that fast and off the wall. And I am good at walking in front of traffic and pissing people off that I would otherwise say I love. I just do whatever I think I need to do to get someone one else that I love to a point I think they should be. Even if it means them wanting to stone me dead right now. So you see if I know that Chemistry is a fact, you are asking then could it be fiction for me too. Yes. I have spent about a year wondering what it was about my 3rd wife that has gotten me in such a mother hen and father protector mode. I have clues and I have knowledge she does not know I have. Yes I hacked her E.mail accounts and looked in on her for my sake and have protected her from spam, and a few males I deemed hazzardous to her. Fictional chemistry is produced by lying. The flags get pushed to the pole top and you think WOW we are going to make it happen now. Then Wham! You fall face down and look up while your partner sails off with a new flame and you are left wondering where you went wrong...... Someone lied to the other, and it might have been yourself, even if you only lied to yourself and not them. Honesty and communication and conversation and trust and faith and ten more things listed in the self help books all control chemistry and whether the two of you work out. But don't give up looking because things are hard to get prefect. Keep your chin up and hit them in the chin if they misbehave. Charles. AKA Peace Maker.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Does the number of members favoritelist a profile appear on matter? Posted: 3/7/2008 6:55:28 PM
Curlygirl,,, msg #7, Hooray for thinking females. I wrote a gal who has her name on 210 members listings, the only reason I know this, Is I just looked, I wrote her because I saw her picture I think on a forum or somehow when I was tagging another from her area. I wrote her cause I liked her picture, I did not even get past the first line in her profile. She has now commented to my blog on MySpace, written a nice long letter back and if I am in the area of her domicile in the future I will hook up with her for at least a coffee and cookie if not diner and a movie or something along the more than a hi there lines. Just because you have 395 on the listings of favorites means nothing really, use your boldness or lack there of to guide you away from those meaningless but neat facts. Trivia, it means only something if you can connect it to something that has more meaning in your life than how many sexy poems I wrote in 2006..... about 150 all to the same lady..... which reminds me I wonder what she is doing these days, I spoke to her once or twice in 2007.... Trivia,,, I write poems she got them, she liked them, we talked, I hand them out to friends who need a burst of flames near them and someone else. Charles AKA FireAngel6

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Does the number of members favoritelist a profile appear on matter? Posted: 3/7/2008 6:27:48 PM
I personally only add a girls profile to my favorite list if I have sent her mail or am going to send her mail within the next hour at the most. I have many on my list that I have not spoken too for a while, or have not returned my e.mails and I just have not gone through and cleaned them out of my own listings. I appear on only a few girls favorite lists myself, it used to be many more about a year ago when I was on here before My marriage and devorce from my 3rd wife. Times change. I don't know for yourself, but if you are on their list and they have not written you, I'd remove them from my list (( there I go not doing what I am preaching again, lazy lazy lazy me, I'll get to my own list sooner or later )). Hugs, Christ's Peace to you, Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Explain this... Posted: 3/7/2008 4:30:07 PM
it is you again H.x, what is this with shoes, LOL, get thee away from my stash, Hunts for his high mountain gear climbing boots, There is a 7 miles hike in the morning and it is snowing here, and Arkansas is not good on sandals in snow. bikes... brake shoes, Babies.... tiny little babie shoes Girls....... zillions of shoes and the closets to prove me right. Men.... golf, baseball, dancing, biking, chruch, office, clubbing, girls and guys gots the shoes all tied up. we are about the same on that front. ( I have 4 pairs of sandals, and one pair of hiking boots, 2 pairs of heavy steel toed gear boots) Charles Still like the babies over the bikes, as someone said good chick magnets, even if half are married, other half are boyfriended, one or two might like me being there....

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Explain this... Posted: 3/7/2008 4:02:15 PM
Msg#8 Cowboy, I had forgot my fantasies about my girl and me in the woods at 5,400 feet in the mountains out west of here, LOL. I go after climbing gear too, but If I like the boulders I ususally up to the top bare handed no safety ropes. Lady talking about liking bikes more than smelly kids. LOL, sure bikes are cool, ever lay one out on it's side while doing 55 on a sharp downhill. I'll take the baby smells and daiper changes now can I please Doc? No son, You just lay there and try not to breath to hard....... Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Explain this... Posted: 3/7/2008 2:50:54 PM
op, I look at the bike and think, nice wish I had one,,, I look at the baby and think, Nice I know I want one of those, he'll/she'll love my love for fine bikes, and fine baked goods, and fine love of life. MEN in general aren't as easily taken in by the oohs and aahs of the child because they know in their hearts that if they have had one, they had to change the diapers, and that is a messy business, and if they have a wife, or Girlfriend they might soon find out what changing diapers is like. Laughs. I have been married 3 times. First 2 were mothers, 3rd did not want children, she had babysitted for to many of her friends to want kids of her own, and half the men she knew were little more than big babies themselves. Men are not men till they have changed at least a few diapers, then they get to become full fledged men. After that maybe a few rounds of staying up all night and tending to a sick child or several sick people like mom and baby and himself and then going to work the next day with a weary but truely happy smile on his face. Men are immature till they become fathers. Listen Up ladies, you want a real man, get yourselves real fathers, or those of us that have at least been there and done that. First wife's Little Girl threw up on me about 2 weeks after I had moved in with them, Though at the time I was more concerned with her little tummy, I never once yelled or complained about messy shirt front or the smell, ( not much really ). Life is to full of other memories to dwell on the bad things that could have happened. Even that day long ago when said child called me by name saying "Charles I don't have to listen to you anymore." Up till that day she would have said " Daddy ,,, this or that....." The pain of that one second of child's play from her mother, ended my heart's beating for ages, and I am whole and full of wonder. I'd go out to see the two wheeled wonder of modern engineering, after work, I'd be in there with Mother and Child ohhing and ahhing and asking this and that, getting hopfully to hold said bundle of joy at least once. That takes all the pains of life and sends them packing to hold a baby even if it is not your own. Charles. Looking for Lady, Friends, then...........

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Do you think its in a guys nature to try and make a girl jealous Posted: 3/5/2008 1:41:44 AM
As others have said I'd think it a bit underage to turn the first girl into a jealous person just for the fun of watching her sweat over not having him in the first place. But some men can and do get off on the idea of making another person suffer, it holds true for females as well. Shrugs, I would ignore him in this case and not fall prey to anything that might or might not be there. Hugs, Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

why do men think they can use women for sex? Posted: 3/5/2008 12:58:34 AM
To those that threw stones at our OP, back off a bit. While it does take two to tango in most cases, there is a level of manipulation that can go on in a man's world that does not go on in a woman's world or at least not to the level that men do it. We men have a general desire to walk about and assert that we are alpha males of our domain. I know this I am like this myself. I prowl the streets of my fare city with the eye of a cat and the heart of a lion to take what is mine and make it safe. But I also know that other men who are in "alpha mode" holding the hands of "their girl" will sometimes give me looks that just bleed "back off dude or i'll eat you for lunch" It happens when I am on full auto and just hunting about. My 3rd wife had her former boyfriend show back up after being gone all the while that I was courting her and the first few months of our marriage, He "took her back from me" as she later told me and was deathly afraid of losing her to me again. I realized this on a level that triggered my "Alpha Male Gene" and I started to push his buttons till he took it upon himself to fill her trailer with buds that were geared to kill me, in a dog fight sort of way. I realized it and sat back and began pushing his buttons till he was basically thrown out by her and now she has a new boyfriend, with whom I have also pushed to the brink of him wanting to kill me. It is fine sport for me. I want her to know that I love her enough to get her a male that I approve of not one that is just there for her bed. Both these guys are using my former wife mostly for sex not for anything else. But she was abused most of her life and I had no way of fixing anything that I found with her, just can't do some damage control in a few months, it takes years of TLC. Men can oft times prey on women and those men if I find them in the lives of my female friends, will sooner or later get my treatment of test of wills. I have had training that most men don't have even inside the Military Complex. Be extra careful next time you have needs that you have to fill with a man's help. Seek solace in taking time next time in that maybe you can advoid the pit falls of males just hunting for more alpha male status in the pack. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

why do men think they can use women for sex? Posted: 3/4/2008 10:11:47 PM
I'll add him to my list of crud to sweep into the fire next time I see him. Sex is not something that is taken lightly by me, I am not one to even think about it in a relationship unless I have asked the female to marry me, and even then only until later in the marriage bed. All the times I have had sex out of wedlock I have had more than a "slam blam see you never again" relationship with the female. He has done this before and likely will do it again. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

the spark Posted: 3/4/2008 10:06:18 PM
Op, sparks for me are attention to me when I talk to them, eye contact which I maintain most of the time with everyone that I am speaking to is important. Kara one of my Hard-Core female friends, Is always making direct Eye contact with me and letting me know she cares for me, but there are other subtle things she does too. Like tell me when she is feeling guilty for not answering my calls. LOL, I apoligized for making her feel guilty about not answering them because I was calling her at my odd hours. My odd hours aren't everyones and I have to get back in the grove that her days and hers and if I care for her I will call her when I will get ahold of her more. I have known her for a year now and sparks flew from day one. But we go for our first true date in a few days, coffee, she works at a Cafe` Which is likely the place where we will have coffee. Charles.

chef_charles

Joined: 9/28/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Looking for some insight Posted: 3/4/2008 9:55:15 PM
OP, It seems to be mental not body wise. I would wonder what other things he thinks about when he is with you verses what he thinks about when he is alone. Have you been hurt by another man in your past that your new man now knows about? Charles

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