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aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 9 (view)

gym help please Posted: 4/6/2013 8:37:09 AM
I think a lot of people who join a gym push themselves to workout too hard when they first start working out and become so sore they don't want to go back. The body will respond and you will build endurance and strength but I would suggest starting with really low weights and listening to your bodies pain signals. My favorite exercise at the gym is the seated row or the dumbbell row, you can google rows and you will see a bunch of different ways to do them. Rows will help you to improve your posture and counter act the effects of gravity rounding you forward. The key to this exercise is pulling the shoulder blades together at the spine. Start with low weights because those muscles of the upper back next to the spine will cuss you out if you over do it. My gym has a fly machine which you can use backwards or forward that I like too. It's important when you work one side of a joint that you work the other side too so you don't develop and imbalance in the joint. When you are doing a regular fly you are working pecs, the big chest muscle so you want to hit the posterior deltoid, rhomboid and middle trapezius muscles (the muscles of the back) so the shoulder joint is not pulled to one side more than the other. For example you want to work both bicep and triceps so you don't cause an imbalance at the elbow or shoulder. Don't rush through your sets. You recruit more muscle fibers when you do a motion slowly. If you are doing a machine and some other part of your body is moving you have too much weight on the machine and will hurt yourself. For example, if you are on the hamstring machine (back of the thigh) your back is not invited to that exercise and you will jack it up if your are moving it. The weighted ab and back machines are dangerous and I won't touch them. They are responsible for crippling many people because they over stretch the ligaments that hold the spine together. Ligaments are like rubber bands holding the bones of the spine together and you make feel just fine until the day a disk herniates. The other issue I have with those machine is they work and build a muscle called quadratus lumborum which will make your waist thicker. Try a pilates class or video and your abs will tighten up. The leg press can be dangerous for the low back if you use too much weight and the leg extension can be hard on the knee so don't go too heavy. Big muscles like pec (chest), traps (upper back), lats (lower and mid back), glutes (butt), hamstrings (back of the thigh), quads (front of the thigh) and abductors (inner thigh) have lots of fiber angles so you want to work them at a variety of angles because you don't want to build just one section of the muscle. These bigger muscles will also burn more calories at rest. I like the stair master and the bike for cardio at the gym but do what you like and mix it up if you want, like 10 minutes on each machine. There isn't any wrong way just move your body. When I work out too hard and I am sore I get a massage, sit in the sauna, soak in the tub, eat ginger and take Advil.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 15 (view)

Exercise bike,rower or treadmill?? Posted: 4/1/2013 9:40:30 AM
If you have bad posture the row machine is great. The ellipticals are great if you have something wrong with your body and need lower impact on the joints. Swimming is great low impact cardio too. I like the big stairmaster, the one that looks like real stairs not the kind with the pedals because it really hits the glutes. I figure if I am going to do cardio I want to focus on the big muscle groups and my problem area. I will do 15 to 30 minutes HIIT and I climb the stairs sideways on every other interval to work the hip and butt on a variety of angles. I like the bike too because it works the quads which is the largest muscle group in the body. Folks that do those long bicycle races have the best legs which is why I added some time on the bike to my routine. I usually do 20-30 minutes HIIT. The weather has been so nice I have been doing some running outside also for my cardio. One pound of dense muscles takes up less space than one pound of fat and muscle is more metabolically active than fat so it needs more calories at rest. Biceps are nice but they are really small and will burn less calories at rest in comparison to the gluteus maximus (the big butt muscle) so it makes more sense to spend 15-30 minutes of cardio time on the bigger muscles. Too much cardio and I become starving and cranky. If you are trying to lose weight you may want to do more cardio then I do though. I try to do some form of cardio every other day for 15-30 minutes. I saw more changes in my body when I increased the weight lighting and changed from long slow cardio to HIIT.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 18 (view)

Non-religious = red flag? Posted: 3/26/2013 9:21:33 PM
There are many levels of religiosity and yes you could find someone a little more middle of the road in their views. You can't stereotype all believers and put them in the same category. Many very religious folks however do want to date other people with their similar beliefs and level of devotion. I would think that those women would be searching for men at church groups or on Christian mingle not so much on POF. Drew what do you want in your future? Marriage, kids etc. Do you understand that many Christian women will want to get married and raise their children in the church? Would faith be something that you would see as helpful to your children? Would you be able to make compromises like agree to help out with church service projects feeding the poor and go to church on holidays and the kids special events? If your answer is absolutely no, no way, no how, that's not for me then I would suggest you look for other non-religious women to date instead. You live in DC so you should have lots of women from all different backgrounds to choose from. If you are inclined pray about it and see for yourself if God leads you in one direction or another. I am a Christian and I go to church and believe faith is important for my child. At my church they play christian rock and I wear jeans to church and all are welcome. While I would love a man to go to church with me it is not a requirement. I generally don't date atheists or judgmental thumpers because they both think I am stupid for not believing the way they do. Christians are not perfect and make mistakes, including being hypocritical. We are human too.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 21 (view)

It seems every girl wants the 6 pack? Posted: 3/26/2013 1:03:27 PM
You have a crappy profile and whine like a girl. This is the problem not your lack of abs.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 7 (view)

why is it wrong for a guy to say on his profile he doesnt like big girls Posted: 3/21/2013 11:22:08 AM
You can put anything you want on your profile. Does it make you look bad and ill-mannered? YES it does but your profile is terrible anyway. Will average, fit and athletic women not want to date you because of this line in your profile? YES it could certainly make you less appealing and make you come across as though you are lacking in good social skills.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 17 (view)

First messaging Posted: 3/21/2013 7:26:33 AM
Go do a search in your area and see how many more men in your age range are on this site than women. If you are looking for a more detailed opening message from women you need to at least give them some specific topics in your profile to write you about. Your entire profile is wishy washy and generic and you look like a very unhappy person in most of your pictures. In my opinion you should be grateful you are even getting messages and be grateful that women even stay on this site because they have to weed through so many troglodytes. The problem isn't the women on this site the problem is YOU and your expectations that the women should be the pursuer and you are too caught up in this whinny mindset to even take advantage of the opportunities that have been given to you. A confident man or an alpha male who got a short email, a flirt or a meet me from an attractive woman would jump on that opportunity quickly but a wimpy beta just whines with some lame excuses... Go listen to some Tony Robins seminars or something to boost your self confidence.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it the shoes? Posted: 3/18/2013 2:37:39 PM
The deep muscles of the calf have tendons that wrap around the lateral and medial malleolus (the protruding boney bumps on the inner and outer ankle). Their job is to help you balance. Perhaps your balance was off because of the new shoes and you aggravated those muscles. http://www.foot-pain-relief-treatment.com/Peroneus-Longus.html

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 130 (view)

3 big fat obesity myths Posted: 2/21/2013 6:55:31 PM
From 2012 http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/2012/11/27/global-high-fructose-corn-syrup-use-may-be-fueling-diabetes-increase/ “The study adds to a growing body of scientific literature that indicates HFCS consumption may result in negative health consequences distinct from and more deleterious than natural sugar,” Michael Goran, of the University of Southern California Department of Preventive Medicine and co-author of the new study, said in a prepared statement. HFCS may also pose a greater risk for diabetes greater than pure sugar alone. Instead of a composition evenly divided between fructose and glucose like table sugar, HFCS contains as much as 30 percent more fructose. (The exact quantities are unknown because manufacturers are not required to disclose the amount on food and beverage packages.) Glucose is metabolized quickly and used as energy or retained as fat. But fructose processing is more complex. It is broken down primarily in the liver and seems to induce less leptin production (a hormone that signals fullness to the body) and less insulin (which is why sweeteners composed primarily of fructose are sometimes recommended for people who already have diabetes). Some studies have also found fructose consumption increases the types of fats that are linked to insulin resistance, a hallmark of diabetes. These scattered findings suggest that “our metabolism has not evolved sufficiently to be able to process the fructose from high fructose corn syrup in the quantities that some people are consuming it,” Stanly Ulijaszek, of the University of Oxford and study co-author, said in a prepared statement. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120124140317.htm Yes I did read this study sorry you missed this part: An analysis of 559 adolescents age 14-18 correlated high-fructose diets with higher blood pressure, fasting glucose, insulin resistance and inflammatory factors that contribute to heart and vascular disease. Heavy consumers of the mega-sweetener also tend to have lower levels of cardiovascular protectors such as such as HDL cholesterol and adiponectin, according to researchers at the Medical College of Georgia at Georgia Health Sciences University. "Fructose itself is metabolized differently than other sugars and has some byproducts that are believed to be bad for us," Dr Bundy said. "The overall amount of fructose that is in high fructose corn syrup is not much different than the amount in table sugar but it's believed there's something in the syrup processing that plays a role in the bad byproducts of metabolism." This article was written by a man who has spent his career as a tool for the corn industry. You really should check your sources. http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/88/6/1716S.full http://www.linkedin.com/pub/john-s-white/19/242/2a2 Hey Rosettast0ned if you want to continue to give your clients out of date information spun by the corn industry feel free. These spin doctors are just like the tobacco lobby. As for me I am going with the opinions of real doctors.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 41 (view)

3 big fat obesity myths Posted: 2/18/2013 9:01:20 AM
HFCS is part of the problem with the growing obesity problem in the USA and is hardly an alarmist perspective as the 2010 articles quoted. Scientists have been doing research on people and high fructose corn syrup. Here is some more up to date information. I do my best to avoid this crap but it is in almost everything and the corn people keep changing the labeling which makes it very confusing for the general public. The corn lobby is making billions and is getting billions of our tax dollars in subsidies. After all the elections start in corn country... 2012 High Levels of Fructose Consumption by Adolescents May Put Them at Cardiovascular Risk, Evidence Suggests : http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120124140317.htm summary of the 2012 study Greater Fructose Consumption Is Associated with Cardiometabolic Risk Markers and Visceral Adiposity in Adolescents1,2,3 which you can read here: http://jn.nutrition.org/content/142/2/251 "Jan. 24, 2012 — Evidence of cardiovascular disease and diabetes risk is present in the blood of adolescents who consume a lot of fructose, a scenario that worsens in the face of excess belly fat, researchers report. An analysis of 559 adolescents age 14-18 correlated high-fructose diets with higher blood pressure, fasting glucose, insulin resistance and inflammatory factors that contribute to heart and vascular disease. Heavy consumers of the mega-sweetener also tend to have lower levels of cardiovascular protectors such as such as HDL cholesterol and adiponectin, according to researchers at the Medical College of Georgia at Georgia Health Sciences University. These dangerous trends are exacerbated by fat around their midsection, called visceral adiposity, another known risk factor for cardiovascular disease and diabetes. The association did not hold up for adolescents with more generalized, subcutaneous fat." From 2013 Yale Study Suggests Link Between Fructose and Overeating http://news.yale.edu/2013/01/04/study-suggests-effect-fructose-brain-may-promote-overeating "They found that ingestion of glucose reduced cerebral blood flow and activity in brain regions that regulate appetite, but fructose did not. Ingestion of glucose also produced increased feelings of satisfaction and fullness, but fructose did not." From 2013 Effects of Fructose vs Glucose on Regional Cerebral Blood Flow in Brain Regions Involved With Appetite and Reward Pathways http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1555133 From 2013 Fructose Ingestion and Cerebral, Metabolic, and Satiety Responses http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1555104 From 2013 Moderate Amounts of Fructose Consumption Impair Insulin Sensitivity in Healthy Young Men A randomized controlled trial http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/36/1/150.abstract From 2011 Consumption of Fructose and High Fructose Corn Syrup Increase Postprandial Triglycerides, LDL-Cholesterol, and Apolipoprotein-B in Young Men and Women http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/early/2011/08/11/jc.2011-1251.abstract

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 18 (view)

I'm not the hero Gotham wants, but the one it needs Posted: 1/24/2013 6:54:37 AM
You should have told your new girlfriend that all of this was happening prior to your ex moving back in not because it would have changed the out come but because grown ups communicate in an upfront and transparent manner. It's about behaving with integrity. Any woman you date will be pissed off if you are with holding this type of information and quite frankly having your ex living with you and your communication problems makes you very undesirable to date. Would you want to date someone who was living with their ex? It is unreasonable to expect to be able to have a serious relationship if your ex is going to be living with you. I get this is the mother of your children but she has no family or friends she can stay with? If her life is that unstable do you have custody of your children? What will prevent this from happening again in the future? Would you want to have a relationship with someone who is going to tell you about important decisions after the fact? If you want to play savior to your ex then be upfront with the women you date and put your big boy pants on because the smart women will not want to date you. You have to do what you think is right but to expect anyone else to go along with a major decision they had no part in making is unreasonable. You can try to contact Mary but if she's smart she will have found someone else.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 12 (view)

Wondering if anyone else has had this health issue and/or advice. Herniated disk Posted: 1/21/2013 7:35:08 AM
It all depends on how much nerve damage was done by the herniated disk. If it killed the nerve then the muscle will continue to die and the only treatment I am aware of is embryonic stem cells which is still experiential and not available in the states. Many people who have had herniated disks in the neck and had the same surgery you had develop the same problems with the vertebrata above and below the fusion, also many folks who have neck herniated disks develop the same problems in the low back. God made us to have a curve in the low back and in the neck and when life and gravity take it's told on the body those curves straighten out which can then lead to disk issues and arthritis. I would within the limits given to you by your doctor work on the flexibility of your spine and your posture with gentle yoga. Yoga can also help you to gently stretch the front of the neck and strengthen the back of the neck and counter act the effects of gravity pushing you forward. Forward head posture could be really bad for those joints above and below your fusion so changing your activities that force you to look down like texting, looking at the keyboard or a computer screen which is too low, looking down at an Ipad, laptop etc. would be a good idea. If you are going to weight train I would avoid any exercises that require having a barbell behind your neck or force you into a forward head posture. Many amateur bodybuilders over train traps, lats and pecs and neglect smaller posture muscles which causes medial rotation of the shoulders and forward head posture. If you look at yourself in the mirror, arms at rest at your sides and the back of the hand is facing forward you may have caused an imbalance in the shoulder joints. Not only will this cause rounding forward and forward head posture it will also cause extra wear and tear to the shoulder joint. If you have someone look at you from the side and the hole of the ear is jutted out past the shoulder you may want to address your forward head posture before it causes more damage to your neck. If you scroll down on this link you can see a picture of the posture issues I am talking about http://blog.hqh.com/page/2/

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 46 (view)

anyone have a good routine for lower abs? Posted: 1/1/2013 8:23:08 PM
I doubt the fur traders lived much past 30 back then. Today we are talking about 80% of the population reporting back problems and advocating exercises which are essentially a ticket to the neurosurgeons office is not a good idea. When the author of the article below says delamination he is referring to a specific type damage to the spinal disks and facet/pars refers to sections of the spinal vertebrate that are damaged by these movements. http://www.cef.co.nz/articles/45-mark-article-2 Rotation Training - Is it Safe? Part 2 Written by Mark Buckley Based on benefit to risk, it is recommended to limit/avoid all exercises that involve dynamic rotation about a fixed pelvis or trunk – in both loaded and unloaded movements 1. Isolated dynamic rotation training The exercises below involve movements that are contradictory to lumbar biomechanics by fixing the pelvis [fixed pelvis rotation training] A. Twist Machine (Upper) This exercise involves rotation of the lumbar spine on a fixed pelvis. Repetition over time can result in a delamination/disc related injury B. Seated Wood Chop (Dynamic) This exercise requires rotation/flexion of the lumbar spine on a fixed pelvis. Again - repetition over time can result in delamination/disc related injury C. Seated Reverse Wood Chop (Dynamic) This exercise involves rotation/extension of the lumbar spine on a fixed pelvis. Repetition over time can result in facet/pars related injury 2. Isolated dynamic rotation training These exercises also involve movements that are contradictory to lumbar biomechanics by fixing the thorax [fixed thorax rotation training] A. Twist Machine (Lower) This exercise involves rotation of the lumbar spine on a fixed thorax. Repetition over time can result in a delamination/disc related injury B. Iron Cross (warm up/mobility) This common warm up exercise involves rotation/flexion of the lumbar spine on a fixed thorax. Repetition over time can result in delamination/disc related injury C. Scorpion Twist (warm up/mobility) This warm up exercise involves rotation/extension of the lumbar spine on a fixed thorax. Repetition over time can result in facet/pars related injury It has been argued that these isolated warm up/mobility movements on the floor are unloaded therefore pose little danger to the lumbar spine. However, Mel Siff suggested that the lumbar spine is in fact more vulnerable to rotation (torque loading) in the absence of axial loading

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 44 (view)

anyone have a good routine for lower abs? Posted: 1/1/2013 12:01:55 PM
http://thewaronbullshit.com/2009/09/21/dangerous_exercise_machines/ Top 10 Injury Causing Machines in Gyms by Kavan Wolfe "Ab Crunch Machines : ...the full crunching your abs also full flexes your spinal erectors, putting maximum pressure on your lower back. Over time, this damages the disks in your back." "Ab Twisters: The spine is not meant to twist. Twisting the spine can damage the disks between your vertebrae. The kind of spinal twists they do in Yoga (slow, controlled stretches) are probably ok, but twisting against resistance encourages a faster and more violent movement that’s significantly more dangerous." "Conclusion: If you’ve used one of the machines profiled above for years without injury, consider yourself lucky it hasn’t hurt you yet and quit now! Yes, smoking hasn’t killed you yet either, but that doesn’t mean you should keep doing it. "

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 32 (view)

anyone have a good routine for lower abs? Posted: 12/17/2012 8:36:12 PM
The title of this post is "anyone have a good routine for lower abs?" and the OP goes on to say he is doing leg lifts which unless he is contracting transverse abdominis while he is lifting his legs he is not working his abs. His question was about the lower part of his abs which includes rectus abdominis and transverse abdominis. I never implied he should not do core work I just said that psoas and iliacus or the other hip flexors would not give him a flat six pack. Those weighted crunch machines at the gym for example, work more illopsoas and QL and will thicken your waist as apposed to really working out rectus abdominis. Plus those machines put a huge strain on the spine and all the ligaments that hold the spine together. Over stretch those ligaments and you risk seriously damaging your spine. You only have one spine and you will not be able to tell that you have over stretched the ligaments that hold it together until you herniate a disk or worse. The core is the weak link because many people sit all day and those muscles weaken but you can not leave out the core when you are moving your body because it is always working when you are moving. You can however isolate muscles in a work out to get the effect you want but you have to know the right ones you want to work. So yes do cardio and do complex movements: push ups, squats, lunges etc. too and don't eat crap.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 28 (view)

anyone have a good routine for lower abs? Posted: 12/16/2012 5:57:03 PM
Abs are made in the kitchen, I would watch out for high fructose corn syrup because it has been linked to an increase of visceral fat (the stubborn deep abdominal fat.) and do lots of cardio. Most people when they talk about abs they mean the rectus abdominis muscle or the 6-pack muscle which is strengthened in small movements. When you do a full sit up as soon as the trunk (the area from the bottom of the ribs to the hip bone) gets involved quadratus lumborum takes over. QL is a large thick muscle of the low back and waist. Yes it is important to have a strong core but QL gets a huge amount of work when you are at the gym because it's job is so complex and is used in all motions of the waist. When you are walking your QL is working! If you want the red meat parts of rectus abdominis to be worked and burned out so you can build a pretty six pack you can't let QL do all the work which mean limiting the range of motion so the trunk isn't moving. Personally I think that's why some women who do serious body building have no waist because the have bulked up QL when they thought they were working rectus. Transverse abdominis is the deeper ab muscle and it's job is to suck everything in like a girdle. As mentioned the ab vacuum is a good exercise for transverse abdominis. Consciously pulling your belly button in to the spine when you are working out activates transverse abdominis too. I wouldn't worry about pyramidalis muscle of the low abs because you may not even have one. Pyramidalis is a small triangular muscle that attaches to the pubic bone and the linea alba (the center line of the 6- pack) so you are working it when you work rectus. The hip flexor group does NOT attach to the abdominal region again hip flexor group does NOT attach to the abdominal region so work them if you want but they will not be responsible for giving you nice abs. Many of the "ab exercises" I see people doing at the gym that involve leg moment is actually working the hip flexors illicas and psoas which if jacked up will cause pain in your low back, deep in your hip and in your groin further more you can't even see these muscles they are so deep in the body and on most people you can't even touch them.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 29 (view)

sciatica Posted: 12/14/2012 8:47:02 AM
Laying or sitting on a tennis ball can be very helpful to make the muscles of the hip release and allowing the muscles to get better blood flow and heal. You could start laying on a soft surface like your bed and then eventually move to the floor. The PGA golfers in my area use a lacrosse ball but that would probably be too hard and too painful for you. You can move around on the tennis ball or just lay still but keep the ball on the iliac crest (hip bone) the low back above the crest holds important things like the ureters and the kidneys which could be damaged by too much pressure. In the future get the tennis ball out at the first sign of a flare up. Obviously check with your doctor first. http://www.livestrong.com/article/100932-tennis-ball-therapy-sciatica/ Googling glute and piriformis stretches would be helpful too.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 15 (view)

BF still has profile up. Posted: 10/10/2012 5:18:47 PM
I'm sorry but I think EndlessRomance46077 is right. If I was in your situation I absolutely would have a problem with someone keeping a dating profile up. It is not unreasonable at all that you talked about it with him and ask him to take it down. My opinion is if a guy really wants to be with me then he will act like it. His words and actions will match. Keeping an online profile up is not acting like he is really into you and it's up to you to decide if he's worth keeping. I probably would have dumped him back in March when you created another POF profile and started looking for someone who was really into me and acted like it. Being single is better than being with a man who is playing games.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 9 (view)

Age range turn-offs? Posted: 9/30/2012 7:02:39 AM
Yes it certainly could turn off 35 and 36 year old and makes you look bad that you are only willing to date women who are 2 years older than you. There is no point of even having an age restrictions on your profile anyway because you are a man. You are not going to be bombarded with 23 year old or 37 year old's writing you so I would delete it altogether. I don't think it's about women being insecure, it's about recognizing men who are ageists and unrealistic and not wasting your time on them. Many women in their 20's see men 10 years older than themselves as creepy and too old to date anyway.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 17 (view)

Finding email buddies, but can't get a phone number? Posted: 9/24/2012 2:06:30 PM
I prefer meeting before I give out my phone number and a quick coffee date is fine with me. Starbucks website is great for picking a neutral location. I hate wasting an evening only to find out the guy totally misrepresented himself in his profile. If I like him at the first meet, I get his full name so I can check the public county records when I get home and make an educated decision if I want to go out with him again. You can not tell anything about people by emails or phone calls. A lot of women are cautious of meeting because of all the wackos online so you have to understand they guard their information closely. When I first started online dating I had a guy google my phone number and show up at my work, obviously I am much more cautious now.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 42 (view)

Body fat increased? Posted: 9/23/2012 8:36:14 AM
Dr. Nick Riviera school of medicine? The doctor from the Simpsons? So glad you have such expert credentials lol. Yes I will agree with you on the poop and the importance of eating a nutrient rich diet and certainly genetics plays a role too. In fact most of the posters in this thread mention something about diet and there are different perspectives on what is the most effect diet but I haven't seen any posts implying that the OP should go eat crap and just count calories. My family for example is loaded with various forms of diabetes and I am certainly genetically predisposed to diabetes but so far, thank you Jesus, I have not had any problems. While genetics, diet and realistic expectations matter that does not change the fact exercise has an effect on the body too. What I disagree with is the way in which you present a very narrow discouraging perspective as well as your unhelpful assumptions of other peoples motivations and intentions. Hey you want to play devils advocate and semantics police fine just present the whole picture or at least acknowledge that there is a debate on the data you present. I live in the south and the standard American diet plus all the southern fried foods and gravy has caused HUGE amounts of obesity. When I talk to people about diet and exercise the common excuse is their genetics. This idea of bad genes, not having enough time to eat healthy and dismissing the value and effectiveness of exercise are killing people. When you make statements that changing ones body is primarily diet and genetics you are contributing to a deadly mass belief and an excuse for lethargy.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 39 (view)

Body fat increased? Posted: 9/22/2012 3:47:17 PM
So how do you know this : 1lb of fat burns ~ 3caloires per day. 1lb of muscle burns ~7 calories per day. So if you drop 10lbs of fat and replace that with 1lb of muscle you would be burning ~20 fewer calories per day. If this information was 100% accurate ALL studies would confirm this information but they do NOT. Some studies do show that muscle burns many more calories than fat : "Studies estimate that for each pound of muscle you add to your body, you will burn an additional 35-50 calories per day. So an extra 5 pounds of muscle will burn about 175-250 calories a day, or an extra pound of fat every 14-20 days." http://teens.webmd.com/benefits-of-exercise Aristotle_Amadopolis I get it that you believe long and slow cardio is more effective than HIIT or that you only want to believe that one over quoted study that muscle only burns 6 or 7 calories per pound is 100% true for everyone all the time or whatever semantic argument you want to come up with next but there are in fact many studies being done all the time that don't have the exact same outcomes . I think it's short sided to not look at all the data available. Furthermore I think it's disingenuous to present your opinions as absolute fact especially when you know that many studies do in fact show completely different findings.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 34 (view)

Body fat increased? Posted: 9/22/2012 9:12:59 AM
@ AA The author of the article I quoted Paige Waehner was NOT writing about diet the title of her article is "How Many Calories Does Muscle Really Burn."

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 32 (view)

Body fat increased? Posted: 9/22/2012 8:39:28 AM
You could try increasing your weight training and decreasing your cardio. You say you are doing a lot of carido and if you are doing more that 20-40 minutes in addition to such a low calorie diet that could be preventing you from building muscle if your scale is right. Here is a good article: How to Burn Fat Without Losing Muscle: http://www.livestrong.com/article/18219-burn-fat-losing-muscle/ Don't be afraid of weight training you will not bulk up like a man because you don't have as much testosterone. 5 pounds of lean muscle takes up much less space than 5 pound of fat: http://www.labrada.com/blog/labrada-news/gaining-an-understanding-of-muscle-versus-fat/ There is a HUGE debate on just how many calories muscle burns. I think this article explains it pretty well: How Many Calories Does Muscle Really Burn? By Paige Waehner "Most people know that muscle burns more calories than fat but, just how much more? Over the years I've heard that a pound of muscle can burn anywhere from 30-100 extra calories a day, but finding an exact number can be a challenge. More than one study has shown that untrained men who lifted weights could burn an extra 30-35 calories for each pound of muscle gained. However, other experts, including Dr. Cedric X. Bryant, the American Council on Exercise's Chief Science Officer, suggest a pound of muscle only burns about 6 calories a day. So why the difference? The confusion exists because of different studies using different ways to test metabolic changes after exercise. There are other mechanisms involved with metabolism as well (including gender, age, fitness level and how active you are otherwise) and, frankly, there's still plenty of controversy about how much exercise really influences metabolism. Some readers have emailed me after reading this, discouraged about their weight training goals. They wonder: "If I'm not burning as many calories as I thought, what's the point of lifting weights?" Whether you believe muscle burns 6 calories or 60 doesn't change the fact that strength training is incredibly important for losing fat and keeping your body strong and healthy. Just some of the benefits include: Increased after burn - High intensity strength training can actually help you burn extra calories for hours after your workout Prevents loss of lean body mass that happens from dieting and/or aging Burning calories - While strength training doesn't burn as many calories in one sitting as cardio, it does contribute to your overall calorie expenditure Changes your body composition, which helps shape your body and keep you healthy Strengthens bones and connective tissue along with muscles Keeps you strong and active as you get older Improves coordination, balance and may help prevent injuries " http://exercise.about.com/od/exerciseworkouts/f/muscle.htm

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 18 (view)

My initial messages .. what do you think? Posted: 9/22/2012 7:19:11 AM
I like the intent a short and sweet message mentioning something from her profile and your profile it's bad either and in comparison to other 19 year old guys in your area I am sure it would stand out as being thoughtful and intelligent. That said there are many more men on this site than women in your age range. Since you like yoga I would suggest you take some classes they may even have some on campus. Meeting people in real life maybe easier in your age range. Join a club on campus or try meetup.com.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do ladies view your profile but never message Posted: 9/22/2012 7:04:29 AM
Go to the profile review forum read the profile writing tips and get better pictures. You are just wasting your time now because what you have looks lazy and incomplete. You have a masters degree but this is the best you can do? Women generally don't have to write men because they get enough messages from men, some of whom have written complete profiles and posted good pictures.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 16 (view)

MEET ME Feature Posted: 9/20/2012 3:41:57 PM
I have had good luck using the flirt and meet me features for guys I am interested in. The users who want to meet me section however only shows the last 30 who were online so if I don't look at the email notification I could miss them completely which is fine because men in my area use this feature way too much. When I use these features I do read the entire profile to see if we might be compatible, I think men however just look at the pictures and click yes, no or maybe.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 8 (view)

What's so bad about not having kids/previous marriages? Posted: 9/19/2012 4:39:44 AM
Why on earth would you make this assumption that never being married and having no children would be the reason women are not responding to you? Why would you also assume that there is a shortage of men just looking for a good time but not a relationship? Why would you put up pictures that make you look cranky and assume this is appealing to women or start your profile off by criticizing other men in order to make yourself look better? Why didn't you look at how you are representing yourself in your profile before jumping to these ridiculous conclusions? For men in their 50's or 60's who give off a player vibe I could understand women being hesitant to start a relationship with a long time bachelor especially if her goal is to get married but at 36 OP you are grasping at straws to avoid looking at yourself.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 13 (view)

How many dates per month?.. Posted: 9/15/2012 6:51:30 AM
I think seeing each other once a week would be a good first start. I think long-term you will be happier with someone who has their own life and is not dependent on you for all of her entertainment. Make sure you are asking women out in advance. At the ending of one date ask her when you can see her again and throw out a few fun ideas like we could go to the zoo or there is this restaurant I want to try etc. If she is super busy she may need to get back to you but if she is really interested she will. If she is doing online dating she probably has other men asking her out and if you dilly dally she will make plans with them. I think it is important to call her too, communication is so important to women bonding. Texts are great for quick things but they do prevent real communication. If women are responding back to you in a lukewarm manner it could be they are being pursued in a lukewarm fashion. If you do ask a woman out and she already has plans don't let your past aggravation with women and dating come out either. I went on one date with this guy and gave him several options of when he could see me again but I had already made plans with my friends for Saturday night and he got whinny wanting me to change my plans. Needless to say he never got that second date because to expect someone to rearrange their schedule is unreasonable and I have no interest in whinny girly men. Be flexible, not demanding or fussy and most women will meet you half way.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 9 (view)

SURPRISE! Getting no responses! Posted: 9/12/2012 10:45:29 AM
From your pictures you look more like average to me than a few extra pounds. I didn't care for the tone about video games it sounds apologetic. I think for guys your age playing video games is the norm, what women want to know is are you going to make time for them and that you can balance your game time with the rest of your life. You could also mention some names of games you play in your interests which are searchable when you click on them who knows maybe you could find a gamer girl. I also didn't care for the whole crowds make you uncomfortable it's a little too much information too soon and can always be addressed via email or after the first date. Women like confident men so fake it till you make it. With as many wanta be players and party guys on pof a nice, thoughtful, tall, educated, gamer guy who wants a girlfriend not a fwb thing will be a great catch for someone here on pof. Write about your dog, your favorite author or favorite movie and why you like them, if you want a girlfriend say so and what kind of personality she would have. I would edit out a lot of what you have written to improve the tone: My dog ______ Video games are a passion of mine and right now I am playing ______ and ________. Often I play video games for the story line and sometimes just for the fun of it. I am able to balance my gaming and my work and personal life. Obviously, a girlfriend would take priority over gaming. Meeting someone who plays video games occasionally would be nice but certainly not required. I also have a huge movie collection and like to pick them apart and discussing them. My favorite movie, actor or director is _________ because __________. I also like reading a lot as well, though I don't make time to do it as often as I would like. I love to read ______ list genre, title, author etc. I've also been on this big self-improvement kick lately. I've been devoting more time to reading and writing, I've been exercising more often (lost about 10 pounds in the past few weeks). I have been doing __________ exercises and cut back on junk food. I am hoping to meet a woman who is ________, __________ and __________. While I enjoy making new friends I am ultimately hoping to find a girlfriend.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 17 (view)

Is height and weight a big deal? Posted: 9/11/2012 6:28:29 PM
I am 6 feet tall and do prefer men at least 5'9 but I have dated men shorter than that. I am sorry but I do think it is a disadvantage for men online who are short BUT women tend to look at men as the whole package. What I mean is if you are smart, talented and funny women will over look a lot. OP you really need to work on your profile if you want to be successful at online dating because people like us are both left out of advanced searches because of our heights.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 20 (view)

Playing around with ratios on here Posted: 9/11/2012 7:32:00 AM
You have failed to factor in your lazy profile, blurry pictures and your rude and nasty screen name. When I plugged Cazzo In La Bocca into google translate is says F#$% in the mouth. Basically you have put garbage in so to expect to get anything other than garbage out of this site is unreasonable and illogical. The fact you seemed to think an average looking guy looking for a BJ who doesn't want a serious relationship would be in high demand by the women in your area makes me wonder about your intelligence.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 8 (view)

Is she still interested enough for a second date? Posted: 9/10/2012 6:41:26 PM
I think if you were really interested in her you would have called her and asked her out again already. Why the delay and the texts? Your lack of communication has sent the message you are not really interested in her. Did you expect her to call you and ask you out? You dropped the ball dude, you snooze you lose.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 19 (view)

...yea but, why do you like me? Posted: 9/10/2012 6:19:03 PM
Both men and women fish for reassurance or praise. Assuming she is not insecure and that you have made your feelings about her clear maybe she just likes positive affirmations. If you see more leading questions from her or her complaining about not getting enough praise in her life then it could be her love language is words of affirmation. I dated a guy who fished for complements and at first I was surprised because he was a big strong handsome man. Sweet talk is free and it really made him happy. You have to tailor your approach and the way you show affection to the individual. There is a great book called the 5 love languages that talks about accepting people as they are and loving them in the way they want to be loved as opposed to trying to make them conform to your love language.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 2 (view)

Feedback Posted: 9/9/2012 7:21:26 PM
Read the profile writing tips at the top of this forum you really don't have enough to review and what you have now looks lazy and generic. You are a student are you working on your masters write about that. Be specific in your interests what sports do you like, what movies and tv shows do you like etc. A large percentage of women who go to the trouble of creating an online profile are looking for more than just hanging out so I would rethink that and maybe try dating. You are a good looking guy but competition is fierce in your age range with many more men than women on POF.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile Review needed! Posted: 9/9/2012 6:46:01 PM
Ok sugar you are in dire need of an editor so don't take offense but you profile rambles. I also would take down the pictures about not having a job that is something you can discuss via email or on the first meet. Sex and your depression issues should really wait until date number 2. Getting better pictures would really help you. In your age range in some areas there are a lot more men on pof than women. Try something more like this: My name is Danny and I'm a massive romantic! I can't help it; I just love candle lit dinners, going to theatre, picnics etc. I think I might have watch too many disney films or something because to me, been romantic comes second nature and its the ONLY way forward! I'm soft and sensitive but not to the point where it's over bearing. I like me hugs and kisses and cuddles. I'm a straight talker, you'll always get the truth from me. I'm a right bloody chatter box, if you love talking to someone who will put in a huge amount of effort in speaking to you, I'm your man! I'm so easy to get along with, I accecpt all and everyone, doesn't matter about skin colour, religion, or w/e. I'm quite nerdy, I know my way around a computer and I can work out things very fast, but I don't look down upon anyone. Everyone has their own skill set and mine was been nerdy XD I LOVE A CHALLENGE! I'm a good leader but I'm always ready and willing to listen to the advice of others. I love to help anyone. If you need advice, I'm your man, if you need an ear I am here. I'm very witty and I love banter. My music tastes are a little over the place. They can range from psychedelic goa rave to the rocking and popping 60's. Mood = all when it comes to music. I play two instruments. One is a bass ( that's the one with four strings not six. Six string guitars are known as lead ) and the other is a ukulele. Think about a little haywain guitar with four strings are your there ! Bass has soul, its as deep as the sea itself, exciting and something you'll rarely hear people wanting to play. I enjoy video games, more on the lines of group team work games like WoW, Battlefield 3 ( piss POOR GAME! ). But I also enjoy business sim games where you build a company etc. I go to the gym regularly. So I'm going to the gym to rebuild and work upon what I have. I'm not buff but at the same time nor am I a twig. My goal in life is a simple one, I want kids and a family. I want to love someone I can't put it as clearly as that. I would like a woman who exercises too. Someone who is witty, fast on the uptake.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile review - Lets do this! Posted: 9/9/2012 5:49:17 PM
I am sure you know someone who has a camera with a timer if you don't want to ask your friends to take pictures of you. A smiling head shot showing teeth is the most appealing. Otherwise I thought your profile was great. If your were older and lived near me I would write you. Write women short messages and comment on any similar interests y'all have and don't dilly dally asking them out.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile review Posted: 9/9/2012 5:26:37 PM
Smiling and showing teeth makes a great head shot. Having pictures taken from below isn't the best angle and kinda highlights looking up your nose. I don't know about that joke you start with it didn't seem too funny to me but maybe it's funny in the UK. You could be more specific in your interests like listing movies titles or actors you love or book titles or authors. Being specific gives the reader something to connect with you on and a topic to discuss. Movies, I like good one and bad ones, is too generic. Listing Martin Scorsese movies for example could lead to more discussion. I would set your profile up more like this: I make sure to get to a couple of exercise classes in week to keep fit, TXR and crossfit (fill in classes you like) are great at my gym. Apparently there is a gladiator training class coming up with weighted shields and swords; that sounds awesome. Try to read whenever I can, I have been quite enjoying the current series I am reading called The Dresden Files. It hooked me because ______. I volunteer at _______ and enjoy give a helping hand to the local community. Volunteering makes me feel good and would love to find someone to occasionally so service projects with. I have a good job as a housing officer which I like and feel there is room for advancement. My job allows me the opportunity to help improve peoples lives... write something positive about your job or a job you would like to get one day. Women like a man with a plan for the future, goals and aspirations. My taste in music is a little eclectic (word of the day calender), but if it was on Kerrang on Scuzz in the nineties I probably liked it, as well as some cheesy dance music. I would like to meet a nice woman who is laid back, irreverent, independent and most importantly, chirpy and happy with a sweet smile! If you are ready to find a girlfriend say so. I hope to find new friends but ultimately would like to find a girlfriend.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 6 (view)

Eye Contact from a Girls Perspective? Posted: 9/9/2012 3:29:19 PM
Some men want to do the stare down which has an aggressive vibe or gawk which has a pervert vibe. A quick look with a smile is more appealing to me and if I am interested I'll do the coy smile with a squint or with a eyebrow flash. If I am not interested I will avoid eye contact. If you get a smile back then you have an opportunity to approach if she looks like she is sucking on lemons it's best to move on.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile Revamp :: Suggestions Welcome Posted: 9/9/2012 12:45:59 PM
Over all I liked your profile and I am sure being able to hold deep thoughtful conversations will be appealing to many women. You say you are looking for friends which maybe leaving you out of some advanced searches and many women who see a profile that has listed looking for friends assume they are looking for friends with benefits. You could also describe the characteristics you are looking for in a potential girlfriend. I personally don't care for the mentions of drama because in my experience those folks who go on and on about drama in reality create a lot of drama in their lives. You spot it you got it kind of thing.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 3 (view)

help Posted: 9/9/2012 12:26:56 PM
You have made very little effort in the profile section and have no interests listed which makes it difficult for the women you write to see if y'all have any common interest or a similar out looks on life. Try reading the profile writing tips at the top of this forum and write about specifics not generalities . In some areas in the younger age groups men far out number women so it is in your best interest to put a little more effort into your profile. And make sure you include something about the woman's profile when you write her.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 15 (view)

The ONE... Posted: 9/9/2012 7:55:31 AM
The space between I like her and want to have sex with her and the thought she might be the one, I am ready for a relationship, can be very large for some men. This is an issue they have to work out for themselves and is completely unrelated to you. Chemistry on both sides of a relationship and a mental readiness to try to create a deeper relationship is a beautiful thing but love is chosen not bread. Men who are dismissive and insulting of your needs or beliefs are not ready to be the "one" for anyone. Nor are highly defensive men ready for a relationship. Focus on what characteristics you want in a man and what the "one" looks like to you.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 10 (view)

If the shoe was on the other foot Posted: 9/5/2012 11:30:28 AM
Holycow is spot on. In my area with a 5 mile radius and no restriction on my advanced search there are 180 men and 142 women in the age range I normally search of 36-46 BUT when I changed the age range to 18-28 there are 320 men and 142 women. If I was a 27 year old male like the OP I would create the best profile I could and I would write thoughtful emails. I wouldn't get my hopes up and I wouldn't dilly dally around asking someone out who responded to me. I would also be trying to meet people off line too.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 6 (view)

Intimidation and Initiation? Posted: 9/5/2012 10:18:29 AM
Are you saying you think perhaps women are not responding to your messages because they might see your profile as intimidating? Perhaps because you have tattoos and a cranky face in a few of your pictures? A lot of women in your age range like tattoos so I highly doubt that is the issue. Your profile however has a lot of general, vague and generic topics. A profile review could help you write a better, more descriptive profile and maybe even get some women to write you. Yes women write men on POF. I write men who I am attracted to and who it looks like I may have something in common with. A man with a brain and a thoughtful intelligent profile is appealing and it shows they are serious about online dating. There are many more men on this site than women especially in the younger age groups so your profile really needs to stand out and your first message needs to indicate you read her profile. Women get a lot of messages here on POF so it's not really necessary to write a lot of men.

aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 15 (view)

Being Decisive vs. Being Ignorant Posted: 9/5/2012 5:32:53 AM
I think it's good you recognize you have some issues left over from your past relationship. Often when people are criticized a lot they become over sensitive and defensive. Being overly defensive in a relationship will make you a very difficult person to deal with and will doom future relationships. Becoming more aggressive or a prick is not the answer. Try reading about conflict resolution and improving your communication skills. Pause before you react to the next woman in your life and think about if she has inadvertently triggered your old reaction style. You can always rephrase what she says to you and ask for her to clarify. No one is perfect and you can choose to not react in an insecure, angry or defensive manner and if you do over react you can always apologize. Try presenting a few options when someone is being indecisive but to expect a future woman or anyone for that matter to immediately jump and make a decision or expect them to like being bullied or pushed into making a decision is unreasonable. Hopefully you will be able to find someone better suited for you in the future and be able to make joint decisions with her so that you are not left feeling like the bad guy all the time. You can not control anyone accept yourself and I think this article might be helpful for you: http://www.psychologylounge.com/2010/12/08/radical-non-defensiveness-the-most-important-communication-skill/ Try practicing better communication skills with your friends and family so that when you meet Ms. Right you will be ready.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 153 (view)

How do you define Athletic? Posted: 9/3/2012 7:28:37 AM
Peppermint petunias is right defining athletic is partly perception. I have met guys who list themselves as athletic but do no form of exercise. One guy who in my opinion was obese told me he was thinking about buying P90X and another guy told me he was thinking about joining a gym. Some men I have met who have spent the last 20 years on the beer and chicken wings diet and have decided to try to get back in shape and been working out for a month or 2 also list themselves as athletic even though their doctors would probably put them in the obese category. This is what I think defines athletic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage "Description Women Men Essential fat 10–13% 2–5% Athletes 14–20% 6–13% Fitness 21–24% 14–17% Average 25–31% 18–24% Obese 32%+ 25%+ " http://men.webmd.com/weight-loss-bmi "What Is a Healthy BMI? A person with a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9 is considered to be at a healthy weight. A person with a BMI of 25-29.9 is considered to be overweight. A BMI over 30 is considered obese. A BMI of 40 or above indicates that a person is morbidly obese. This can increases a person's risk of death from any cause by 50% to 150%."

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 17 (view)

First date went well, but now nothing, why? Posted: 9/3/2012 6:44:13 AM
It would be nice if people would be verbally clear about their intentions but frequently they are not. It is what it is. Their actions are crystal clear though. When men find a woman they really like they pursue her. They call, text and make a sincere effort to see you. Don't assume this guys lack of follow through has anything to do with you. Maybe it was that you pushed him, maybe his ex girlfriend called today, maybe he had a family emergency or maybe he was abducted by space aliens. Lord only knows. At this point he is just not that into you and pestering him won't change that. Go search on POF and go on some meets with other guys, there is someone else out there who will melt your butter and will be reliable and will make an effort to see you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, you don't have to settle for anyone who is not that into you. Years ago when I was your age at the University of Florida it wasn't uncommon to drink heavily when I got together with friends so in my opinion one drunken night doesn't make this guy an alcoholic. Obviously, when you start dating someone it is a good idea to watch how much they drink because dating a drunk is not fun and a recipe for dysfunction.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 17 (view)

I need some advice on a safe workout. Posted: 9/1/2012 7:45:41 AM
I would avoid using any weighted abs and back machines at the gym they are notorious for causing serious back problems. I have no low back issues and want to keep it that way so won't touch those machines with a 10 foot pole. The leg press can cause back issues too. I see a lot of people at the gym using machines for one part of the body but the low back is moving too. This is really bad and dangerous. For example, if you are using the hamstring machine the low back is not invited to that workout and should not be moving around. You need to lower your weights so you can do the machines without the backs help. For sure, do posture improving exercises like supermans and rows and work abs with small controlled movements without weights just increase the reps and sets as needed. Try planks and small crunches instead of full sit ups. If your doctor say it's okay you can do squats and lunges just do them without weights and and increase reps and sets. Do 30 squats in a set and you will still see results. Try some one legged squats, the pistol squat is really hard without weights. Slower controlled movements will increase the intensity and recruit more muscle fibers and work the muscles more completely anyway. In the bodybuilding world there is this mindset go big or go home, meaning if you want to build larger muscles you have to lift really heavy. The problem is if you are lifting heavy and you do a move improperly you can seriously hurt yourself and studies are now showing high rep work is effective at building muscle too and is great for people with injuries. http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/news/20120427/high-reps-with-low-weights-builds-muscle-too In my area there are a lot of uneducated trainers who know nothing about back problems, they took a weeks course and now they are training people at the gym so beware. Talk to you Chiropractor about what machines and exercises to avoid.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 10 (view)

When I politely say no to a guy..he blows up...should I just ignore? Posted: 8/26/2012 2:40:37 PM
It is a no win situation. I use to send a "Thanks for writing but I don't think we would be a good match. Good luck with your search." to everyone who wrote me and would frequently get blasted back. If you ignore messages then you risk getting blasted too. Sometimes being polite is ignoring them. If someone writes me and has read my profile and has a somewhat normal profile I will respond to them. If their profile has sex stuff, comments about their exs, are rude and crude or says anything that would not be appropriate to say to a random stranger at the grocery store I ignore them or block them because they have already shown their edit button is broken. To engage in dialog with men who have no common sense is futile. For example, I had a guy write me something lame like ur so sexy and I looked at his profile and he's not looking for a relationship like I am, he's drastically shorter than I am, he lists himself as athletic but the picture of his greased up body on the jet ski made him look like his boobs were bigger than mine and he was about 6 months pregnant. His profile was very rude and he talked about how he's not into fat chicks. Now seriously this guy is the antithesis of what I am looking for and there is just no point in even dealing with him in anyway. How many times is he going to get rejected on this site? Why contribute to his self sabotage by sending a thanks but no thanks message of any kind? I have single girlfriends who have felt chased off of POF because of the rude men on here so don't take it personally and use your block button freely.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 15 (view)

Not ready for a relationship Posted: 8/20/2012 5:35:29 AM
You can't win him over, you can't change his mind for him and there is nothing you can do to earn his affection. Men have to decide for themselves they are ready for a relationship and this may take years and years. Some people never allow their walls down long enough to fall in love and date someone exclusively. How long do you really want to waste your time and energy? When a man tells you he is not ready for a relationship believe him and walk away. To do otherwise is just self torture because your needs will never be met by emotionally unavailable men. Basically this guy has told you you are good enough to f$ck but you are not good enough to date. If you want a boyfriend you have to let go of these broken men who are not ready for a relationship and look for men who are. There are tons of therapists out there if this guy really wants to deal with this issue of being hurt in the past but the fact is he just doesn't want to deal with his issues at this point in his life. It is what it is and he has told you straight up. If you sleep with this guy and you have an orgasm your brain will release oxytocin and you will become more attached to him. This is basic biology you can't change it. A man who has decided before he met you that he is ready to find a girlfriend and allow himself to be emotionally available will be able to become attached and bonded to you. Seriously if all you want to do is be treated as a piece of a$$ you can go to any bar and with a wink and a smile get laid.

Aegle24

Joined: 2/9/2011

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I giving an unapproachable vibe? Posted: 8/17/2012 6:35:06 AM
Try making eye contact with a guy you find attractive and do the coy flirty smile. Hold his gaze for about a second and then look away. If you can get him to do this with you a few times he will come to you if he is interested. Guys need clear body language to approach. You can go put your self near him and say hi if you get the opportunity. If other women are getting approached more I would bet it's because they are making more eye contact with the men around them.

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