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Thread: I am noticing a trend in women over 30

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 249 (view)

I am noticing a trend in women over 30 Posted: 6/9/2008 3:25:51 PM
When men that are my age or older approach me, or let's say "hit on me" they usually want to know if I can cook or do I keep a clean house! I'm not looking to take care of anyone else unless it's a relationship. So this kind of approach doesn't appeal to me. Guys slightly younger, say 6 or 7 years younger, seem to show me that they value what I have to offer: a business woman that isn't bad to look at with a decent sense of humor. They want to have fun with someone that knows how to contribute? I'm not saying the men in my age group don't interest me, I am just saying that I haven't been approached by one with some "game" in a long time. It should be light, fun, a give-and-take exchange. It's the same argument men have had for years. So, yes, younger men have been more appealing to me to date.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

When is a past relationship finally gone? Posted: 5/20/2008 4:49:42 PM
I think that the hurt fades with time. You can help things along by taking care of yourself, giving your energy to your children and spending time with your real friends that care about you. Someone very smart told me to envision myself as a precious diamond, to only take myself out where I know that I will be safe, to "guard my soul" as it is precious. Once you believe that you are important and special, you'll find you're getting better. Take each moment, each hour, each day and each week at a time. When you find yourself centered on the sadness try to snap out of it. Maybe she was not what you needed. Just maybe there is someone out there that can give what you give back?

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

do you think being geninue actually helps in the dating process? Posted: 4/3/2008 4:43:34 PM
At the end of the day, it's you that you have to stare at in the mirror... If you are kind and decent and "do the right things by people" you will be able to look at yourself and like what you see. Everyone has been burned by a player, but just because you've been hurt or are hurting it doesn't make it right to hurt anyone else. When you think about it, don't you want to be yourself and be loved for who you are? It's the most satisying thing, have hope that you'll find it.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Being Honest about your Past Posted: 3/19/2008 5:28:21 PM
DDay...I'm still recovering from the truth. My situation is much different than a judgemental boyfriend getting angry about OP's past. But thanks for the invite, it always makes you feel better to be wanted. Whether it's a casual flirtation from a stranger or a person that you love and are committed to. Bottom line, when you're in a relationship you have to take the good and the bad. Or not be in the relationship. Your past is your past, can't change it.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Being Honest about your Past Posted: 3/16/2008 4:51:36 PM
Dear anotherdonna, I just ended a 2-month relationship with a man that I will refer to as "Mr. Perfect". We connected from the first time we met, and frankly I was falling hard. So was he, and I was very open with him about my life. When we finally had "the" conversation he fessed up that he was married. He hadn't planned it, wasn't happy in his marriage, blah, blah, blah. People that are not forthcoming about their lives may have something to hide. Let it be a lesson to all of us. He should be flattered that you are open enough to have told him your stuff! I'll tell you it's taking me some time to get over it. It's like a bad movie that plays in my head. I told him the "basics" about my past. He wasn't as forth coming, because he was "taking his time". Meanwhile, I've cut everything off. I feel like something died. From the freshly burned, I'd rather people be up front. Hey, at least you know what you're dealing with especially about marital status, etc...If he can't handle your past then he isn't ready to deal with you as a person in my belief. Do you have to give him all the details? No. But he has a right to know the important things that affect him and may come into play in your relationship. What I find most interesting is that he is judgemental of your past. Food for thought?

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

My 60 days of internet dating Posted: 1/27/2008 12:32:41 PM
OP, thank you for the laugh...it's great to hear that I'm not alone in experiencing some of internet dating's pitfalls. I believe that it's tough on men as well. Although, I don't really "fit in the box" you outlined, except for the ;o) use of annoying punctuation. Oh and a couple of other ones I see here!!! Oh well, you can always head back to the singles bar (or church...lol!) Best of luck in your search.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

What to do when a guy says it's between you and someone else? Posted: 11/28/2007 4:14:54 PM
You did him a favor, and handled it well. If "Mr. Right" is reading this, TMI buddy! Would you want to hear that you're competing with another man? Date me, pick me...LOL...that's why they call it "dating". It implies that it's not an "exclusive" relationship.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 150 (view)

Women contacting men online first? Does it really work? Low success rate. Posted: 11/18/2007 1:11:06 PM
Red N Blue makes a good point, one that coincides with all alot of popular belief that men need to be the "hunters" and reinforces what books like "The Rules" preach. I've found similar experiences with emailing guys first. They don't always get back, give polite rejections, and seldom do you strike up a new relationship this way. On the other hand, I've received alot of email from men here on POF and appreciated it. I'm not saying it's always true, but I think most men like the chase and need to pursue. If you're too easy to catch they are not as interested. On the other hand, maybe it's healthy, now we know how it feels to be rejected!

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 132 (view)

What book changed your world? Posted: 11/3/2007 5:14:18 PM
Lifechanger? When bad things happen to good people, by Harold Kushner. It reshaped my religious views, and helped me through some really tough times growing up.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

I don't do separated... Posted: 11/3/2007 4:22:32 PM
Seperated = married. Divorced = single. OP, it's all about you. You can date exclusively single men. I agree with you and wouldn't date anyone that's married because of my morals and religious beliefs. I see so many people complicate their lives by dating married people (or seperated people). I actually worked with a girl that would get so angry with her boyfriend when he went to family events with his wife! She said things like he didn't want to go, but it was a family event. She's wrong for dating a married man, and it serves her right. I've been cheated on, it doesn't feel good. I wouldn't do it to another woman. Despite whatever he says she "did to him" or "how lonely his is" or "he's leaving her", he's still married until he's divorced. If you don't date married men, then you won't get yourself into those "unclear relationships". It's better to keep things simple and enter relationships with a clear head and heart. I agree with you 100%, get the paper.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 156 (view)

Positive Things in Afghanastan- what Main Stream Media Is Not Reporting Posted: 10/25/2007 3:37:53 PM
goodguy writes: If good men did nothing then one of the flights of September 11th may have very well hit the white house and changed the future of a nation forever. So, true and many are giving their lives fighting for our freedom so that we don't suffer the fate of those we lost. They serve freely, to fight terrorism on foreign soil. The media being mostly liberal focuses on the death count, not the progress we make to stop the Taliban. War is never fun, it is a means to an end. Afghanistan is improving, as will Iraq, thank you to our soldiers. It is a process, and we must continue to fight. There is no other choice because we cannot live in fear every day. We need to get on planes, and trains and go to work in our major cities. Hopefully our kids will live in a better world for this generation's efforts. I'm not sure why people say that we are gaining by the war, taking money and oil. Why are gas prices so high in US and CA if we're helping ourselves? I think that we need access to oil, but we pay for it...oh, yeah we pay for it. We need it, because we consume alot. Lots of people and cars and things to do. Unless someone would like to give that up?

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

Congratulations Al Gore Posted: 10/18/2007 4:30:52 PM
Does anyone read all of Montreal Guy's long posts? I'm sorry, you need to learn to condense your thoughts and make a point!

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Is romantic love just a fantasy? Posted: 10/17/2007 3:36:59 PM
I heard this today... No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE Do you agree with this???

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 60 (view)

Al Gore - Not President Material Posted: 10/13/2007 10:45:47 AM
Amen, sister if the Democratic party puts HRC on the ballot I'll be working the phones for the Republican candidate...whoever that may be! As far as Al Gore, who really cares it's all hype - no solutions. We can all talk about problems, it doesn't make you a hero. Al Gore isn't running, and my personal opinion is that it will come down to a dirty fight between Obama and Clinton. I can only thank God that Al Gore wasn't in office to lead us out of 9/11. He was and is completely incapable and totally unprepared to handle the office of President of the United States in this world today.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Sunset Challenged Man Confesses Posted: 10/13/2007 10:23:38 AM
When you describe a good "first date" it's tough, there's alot that to factors in when choosing something to do. So, I think some people write something romantic in their profile like walking the beach, or a romantic dinner or watching the sunset. It's better than "I like to fish, watch Nascar and football all day", at least for me. By the way, I've seen some awesome sunsets and a few rainbows in my life - and I remember them and who I was with, and where I was in life. But I don't think they'd be as memorable if I did it every day. I like this thread because it reminds us to be real and get beyond the superficial stuff.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Michigan Democrat Silliness Posted: 10/12/2007 3:04:32 PM
Chatter Box is right, this will not look good to Democratic voters. Hopefully it will help the counties voting predominately Republican (not Detroit) to gain ground. I think this is great

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Congratulations Al Gore Posted: 10/12/2007 2:57:57 PM
What's the solution? Who'd like to be the first one to stop consuming natural gas, electricity, etc? Do I agree with being environmental conscious? Yes, but instead of curbing back consumption I believe we should work to find something new to fuel our society. Let's give the Nobel prize to the person that comes up with a new source of energy - not someone that talks about it. Why should Gore get all of the credit for bringing awareness to a problem you'd have to be a total idiot not to see. Everyone knows we have a fixed amount of natural resources and burning them isn't good for our planet. But what are we going to do? Gees, we're still talking about hanging chads in 2007. Get over it, Bush won. Research how the electoral college works, the checks and balances in our divisions of gov't. We've been listening to the Democrats talk about what we need to do, with healthcare, with the environment. What did Bill Clinton do for health care in the 8 years he was in office? Nothing, he talked about it alot. Same with the environment. Until we ban together as people and start living differently, more "green" we cannot make a difference.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Is it a bad sign if a person comes on to strong before they even met you? Posted: 10/12/2007 2:22:58 PM
Yes, I'm dealing with this right now. I've been emailing and talking to a guy from here that has started to refer to me as hottie or sexy, "like hey sexy". We've never met. I asked him why he started calling me names like that. He said he wanted to make me feel good. Compliments from strangers you haven't met aren't real, so it doesn't work like that for me. He apologized, but it still feels weird.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Would you date a guy w/a toupee? Posted: 10/5/2007 5:52:16 PM
I'm sorry, I have to ask why you asked that question?

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Is romantic love just a fantasy? Posted: 10/5/2007 5:18:26 PM
"Love" should be thought of as a verb, loving, actions, doing. Romantic love is a wonderful idea. I think we get confused when we think of love as a "thing" we find. It doesn't just happen, like in Cinderella. It's something you build with someone you love. It's a choice you make. So, will you love this man and build something? Or is it best to walk away to find the passion you crave?

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What are your Personal pet peeves and other stuff Posted: 10/5/2007 4:37:48 PM
When I first speak to a man, live, say on the phone and he sounds like a woman I find that totally annoying. Guys with feminine voices or mannerisms, or worse yet if he's needy or desperate, it's such a turn-off. I use body-language daily, I'm a sales rep, although at work I'm usually in an "interested" position. I try to pace prospects with their body posture, even their energy level. But I keep my personal and professional life seperate, I don't sell dates.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives? Posted: 4/15/2007 2:18:49 PM
Ladies and Gentleman, I can see both sides, and have concluded that it's always better to be the subject of the stares! It's happened to me more times than I can tell you, where a guy is out with his wife, girlfriend or significant other looking in my direction...half the time I think they are in a conversation they don't want to be in. And they are looking somewhere else---to get away ;o). On the other hand, if it were me and I was the woman whose man was checking someone else out in my company he better use good judgement. There's a big difference between a quick look of approval or appreciation and repetitive staring. Anyone with a brain knows the line, if not you should find out where the line is with your significant other---it's a respect issue.

Joined: 10/7/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Should a guy get mad if you won't talk "dirty" online? Posted: 10/26/2006 10:54:16 AM
Hi, I could use some help with this one...recently I started chatting with a nice, cute guy. We seemed to have a good connection, and honestly I hoped to meet him one day. I liked his picture, you could feel his personality even IMing...but, he wanted something I wasn't comfortable with. He wanted me to be "honest" as he put it, tell him if I turned him on. He was pretty explicit and insulted me when I wasn't into it. I told him I'm a lady, and preferred not to go there. He was not very nice about it, and called me a prude. Guys, is that normal?

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