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 Author Thread: engaged so soon?
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
engaged so soon?
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:26:26 PM
I can't even picture getting engaged to someone, or even seriously considering it, if we've been together less than a year. Then again, I have a friend who would get antsy if the guy she was with didn't start talking rings within a month of the first date.

When my ex and I broke up after five and a half years, would you believe how many people thought it was because I wanted to get married and he didn't? If anything, it was the other way around!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 123 (view)
 
kissing on the first date?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:31:00 PM
If there's chemistry, heck yeah!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 314 (view)
 
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:26:50 PM
When a guy messages me and the first thing he wants to know is my bra size, or what I like to do in bed, or he sends me a penis picture right off the bat...TOTAL TURN-OFF. There are 1-900 numbers for that!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 337 (view)
 
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:31:43 PM
NO WAY would I give up my dog for a relationship. He's part of the package. I do mention him (and have a picture of him) in my profile - if someone hates dogs or is violently allergic to them, they can see that and know to move on.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:25:28 PM
If someone on here has "prefer not to say" in the Marital Status column, that sends up instant red flags to me. I stay away.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
would you date a guy who is totally into sport
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:16:33 PM
Heck yes, since I'm a passionate sports fan myself. It's more fun that way!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
What's up with Father Michael Pfleger?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:00:50 PM
I live in the Chicago area so I'm fairly familiar with who Father Michael Pfleger is. He has done some good things, but he's also very much a publicity hound. My first thought when I heard about this was "Oh, Father Pfleger hasn't been in the news recently enough..."
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
So.. Is NOT being able to have children a turn off?
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:26:48 PM
I don't want to have kids, so if I was dating someone who was unable to have them, I would be just fine with that.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
I Saw You Ads
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:15:53 PM
I think they are sweet! I'd be flattered if someone placed one looking for me. Of course I probably would not reply unless it was clear that the person was talking about me. I'd feel dumb if I got all excited and replied and the person wrote back "it wasn't you!"
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Fantasy Football anyone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:53:54 PM
Yes! I love fantasy football!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Do You Believe It is Possible to Find Your Future Husband/Wife via Online Dating?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:43:53 PM
Absolutely. I know several people who are married to people they met online.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
How to start a conversation with someone you have never met
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:41:39 PM
On here, I generally will ask about something that catches my eye in the profile. In person it varies with the situation- I'll generally comment on something that's happening. I ask people at the dog park about their dogs all the time.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/28/2008 11:05:58 PM
Maintaining a friendship is fine if there's a basis for an actual FRIENDSHIP, not just "waiting in the wings until she breaks up with her boyfriend, and then I move in!" Other than that...back off. Pursuing someone who is already taken = bad idea.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 63 (view)
 
signs the man you're talking to online is attached/married
Posted: 3/8/2008 8:22:58 PM
-His marital status is "prefer not to say"
-Wants to come to your house or meet at a motel in some way out of the way place. Will not go anywhere in public with you.
-When you ask if he's married/attached, says "Does it matter?"
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
1st date at someones house!
Posted: 3/8/2008 12:51:14 PM
I've had guys want to come to my house for the first date - never theirs. Not happening! When I said I would rather meet in public, one person actually said for us to meet in a public place would be too awkward for him. My theory is, if someone won't want to be seen in public with me, there's no way they're going to be with me at all!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do you still think about your ex?
Posted: 3/3/2008 7:23:57 PM
I do think about past boyfriends, but only in the "Wonder what he's up to now" sense. I don't sit there and pine for any of them. There are reasons we're no longer together!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Would you marry someone who wants just to get out their (poor) country ???
Posted: 3/3/2008 7:21:21 PM
No way would I do that. If I marry, it's going to be for love, not because I am doing a favor for someone who needs a green card.

I ran into someone like that on another site. He supposedly didn't live too far from me, but there were a few things that just didn't add up. And then he told me that some lawyer contacted him about a big inheritance and he needed to put someone down as his next of kin, and would I do it? Um....NO. I do not have "stupid" written on my face. I never heard from him after that. Gee, wonder why.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 79 (view)
 
How did you come up with your screen name?
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:47:31 PM
It's from the Urge Overkill song entitled, oddly enough, "Sister Havana."
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Anybody had any success with Craig's List?
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:29:56 PM
I've never used it for dating, but my sister met her boyfriend via craigslist.

I will say that there can be comedy gold in the Casual Encounters posts.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 128 (view)
 
What brought you to POF
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:27:23 PM
I saw POF on a site that reviewed dating sites, and it got good reviews. Since most of the guys I know around here are married or otherwise taken, I figured I'd give this a shot.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
 
How many partners
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:30:36 PM
It depends how many. One guy I know told me he'd been with 76 people and that squicked me out a bit. However, at my age I'm not expecting that anyone I date is a virgin. As for my number, I don't go around broadcasting it but I am also honest about it if the person I am dating directly asks.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Safety on a First Meet.
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:46:51 PM
You absolutely did the right thing. I always meet my dates in a public place, especially the first time we meet. You can never be too careful these days!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
single men in their 30s living alone with a dog
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:40:02 PM
Heck no, that's not a turnoff. Quite the opposite! :)

Especially if he lives with a dog since I love dogs and have one myself!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Anybody dated anybody who later became famous
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:41:20 AM
I haven't dated anyone famous. Although one of my exes did run for Congress in a different state, years after we dated. (he lost) That's about it though.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Other Relationship
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:31:37 AM
When I see "Other Relationship," I interpret it as "Looking for the Other Woman."
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Do women find a sensitive men a turn off?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:24:48 PM

Honestly? I love guys who can be sensitive. Guys who cry at a drop of a hat, well, that's a different thing..............


My feelings exactly. I like sensitive, but there is such a thing as way too sensitive.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Do you have a cam? Do you MMOL?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:41:09 AM
I don't have a cam, but even if I did, no way would I strip or masturbate for someone online. ESPECIALLY if I didn't know them.

The one thing I hate is when a guy asks me right off the bat if I have any "more revealing" pictures. Again, even if I did, why would I just show them to someone I've only talked to for three minutes? (My theory is that the easiest way to make sure such pictures don't fall into the wrong hands is not to have any in existence at all. And I don't. :) )
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Yes means No?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:35:12 AM
No means no, yes means yes. I think it's pretty clear.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
The 'Dream Ticket' ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 11:24:30 PM
My dream ticket would be Obama/Edwards. Although I think Richardson would make a fine VP as well.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Dipping your pen in the company ink
Posted: 2/3/2008 10:30:40 PM
My general rule is not to do it. It would just be too awkward, especially if we have a giant fight or break up and we still have to see each other and work together every day. The only way I think it could work is if we both worked for a huge company, but in different departments and we didn't have much to do with each other during the workday.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
People who are perpetually late
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:07:06 PM
My friends always joke that I have my own standard time - I'm always running late! (Usually it's no more than 10-15 minutes and I generally call to let people know.)
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
a current passport?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:03:23 PM
I have one. Got it in 2003 when I went to London, although I'd had one (and let it expire) when I was in high school because I went to Israel.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Prostitution: a Prep School for Marriage?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:46:44 PM
I couldn't date, let alone marry, anyone who was or is a prostitute. Too much risk - no thank you.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is politics a deal breaker for you?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:40:57 PM
I'm a liberal and fairly active politically. Generally, someone having different political views is not a dealbreaker - I've dated plenty of conservatives. There are certain issues, though, where a difference in opinion could well be a dealbreaker...
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Good or Bad meeting someone from Craigs List
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:35:28 PM
I've never met anyone from there, but my sister met her current boyfriend on Craigslist - she answered his ad.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Childfree Dating
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:58:10 PM


What say you all, about dating people without the past experiences of marriage and parenthood?


I say it's fine by me! I'm childfree and have never been married, so I'd be perfectly happy to find someone like that.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Is this a major turn off for anyone else?
Posted: 11/24/2007 3:46:34 PM
No, you are definitely not wrong. I always insist on meeting in public for the first meeting - usually more than that. If someone absolutely refuses to meet in public and will ONLY come to my house or nothing - HUGE red flags. Not happening!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 68 (view)
 
most heated rivalry in sports?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:34:44 AM
Bears-Packers. "Throw out the records when these teams meet" is a cliche, but it's true! And there's some serious hatred there. ;)

Indiana-Purdue, in anything.

Cubs-White Sox and Cubs-Cardinals.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Do you believe we have a biological clock
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:30:21 AM
I don't have one - if I do, it's stopped.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 145 (view)
 
So where were YOU when man first walked on the moon?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:27:32 AM
My parents had just gotten married. I was four years from being born!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Would you date a NASCAR fan?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:22:33 AM
I'm not a NASCAR fan, but I would and I have dated fans in the past. We don't have to share all the same interests.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Coca-Cola or Pepsi?
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:22:18 PM
I actually like both of them.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
No feelings for ex. Is that normal?
Posted: 11/23/2007 4:49:00 PM
I think so.

My ex got engaged three months after we ended a five and a half year relationship. (It was for the best that we did, believe me!) His best friend made this big show of telling me about it when I ran into him at a meeting. I was surprised that I didn't feel sad or angry or anything like that. I felt absolutely nothing.

I think if I saw him on the street I'd be polite, but there would be no yearning or anything like that.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 11/15/2007 9:17:29 PM
Separated = still legally married. I want no part of that. Talk to me when the divorce is final.
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
31 old is really old for a woman?
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:16:23 PM
I hope not, since I'm 34 already!

 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
NaNoWriMo
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:13:47 PM
Is anyone else doing this? I am. I'm on pace right now, but it is only the second day - we'll see what happens. :)
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 340 (view)
 
The National Football League 2007
Posted: 10/28/2007 5:26:37 PM
The Bears game was just ugly today. Swept by the Lions, losing at home to the Vikings...what happened?
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
WORST SPORT TRADITION EVER!!!
Posted: 10/28/2007 5:22:03 PM
The Tomahawk Chop. Talk about annoying!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
open road tolling
Posted: 10/28/2007 5:18:35 PM
We have open road tolling in Illinois. I love it! It's a little different here, though. We have electronic transponders (IPASS) that we deposit money into an account for, and the toll is deducted every time you go through a tollbooth or an ORT lane. Cars paying cash get diverted to toll plazas alongside the open road tolling lanes, and the cash toll is double the IPASS toll, so there's incentive to use it. It really has cut down on backups!
 sisterhavana
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
halloween costumes... for your pets?
Posted: 10/28/2007 5:13:26 PM
I got a very cute policeman costume for Barney (Welsh Terrier) at Target last year. Since it just velcroed around his neck and belly, he didn't mind it, and the trick-or-treaters got a kick out of seeing him in costume. :)
 
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