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sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Young Widows/Widowers Posted: 5/2/2009 9:15:44 PM
Well, my husband died in 1993 and I've moved on with my life, but I did not choose for him to die, it was unexpected and I had no control over it at all. I loved this man with all my heart and soul and he will always hold a place in my heart. We were married 7 yrs and there's not a day that goes by still that I don't think about him, partly because my oldest daughter looks just like him and a lot of the things she does reminds me of things he did. She doesn't know though and she looks a lot like him, only a girl. I think you have to start by knowing you will never find a relationship like the one you had and try to find a new one with the person you will be with. Not that you shouldn't have some of the wonderful parts of the relationship you had, just know that there won't ever been anyone like her and the new relationship will be different. Try not to compare, people hate that. I learned that the hard way. It's hard not to do, when that relationship was so great. Just be yourself and know that your other half would have wanted you to move on with your life and be happy.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Woman into single fathers????? Posted: 5/2/2009 9:05:59 PM
I have custody of my 3 kids (17,13,5) the middle is a boy and it is very difficult to raise 3 kids by myself. That is hard no matter man or woman. It will be well worth it in the end though. I know I would date a man that had kids, but I can't speak for the rest of the women on here. As I've said in other threads like this. I think very highly of a man that is raising his kids and it speaks tons about his character. I feel the same when my son was asking about guy things and telling me he really didn't feel right talking to his mom about them. I told him he didn't have a choice, I was mom and dad and he could either talk to me about it or one of his uncles. He did finally start talking, but it's taken some coaxing . LOL Good luck in your fishing.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

What do you do when rel with teenage kid hits rock bottom? Posted: 5/1/2009 10:16:02 PM
You need some tough love my dear. You are doing yourself or him no favors. If he is 18 he is old enough to have a job or go to college and he is old enough to help in the house. If he does not respect you enough to pick up his own mess, then he does not need to be in your home. If he does not respect you enough to keep his foul mouth shut when you are around, then he does not need to be there. He needs to have boundries set for him by you. Such as; You either will attend college or get a job, by a certain date a month, two whatever seems reasonable to you, if you have not done one or the other then you need to find another place to live. If he can not respect you and your home, then he needs to leave and find his own place to mess up. You seem to have a lot of guilt over all this and he is playing into that guilt, he will continue to do so until you stop it. I love all 3 of my children (17,13,5), but they all know the rules to the house and know that at any time they do not want to follow them, they can open the door and walk out. I'm not a perfect parent my any means, but I will not allow them to be the adult in my home, I'm the adult and I work too hard to raise them and for the things I have to have them not respect my home or me. Good Luck.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 208 (view)

leashes? Posted: 5/1/2009 10:05:51 PM
I used this for my son, I have 3 children, he was the only one who would run off quicker than I could chase after him. He's 13 now. My mother gave me one she had gotten for one of my brothers when they were kids. I tell you, that thing saved my life many times. Like you said. I always knew where he was and I didn't have to chase after him all the time. He could not get out of it. I still kept an eye on him, but I wasn't having to chase after him every time something caught his eye. I must say a lot of people gave me dirty looks and chastised me for it. I didn't care. As a parent my most important job is to keep my child safe and if that mean when we are out some place and there was a chance he could run, I put the harness on him. Let someone else worry about where their child is cause he ran off while they were trying to pay for something and they couldn't get to him before he was in a crowd of people. I say you're doing the right thing for you and don't let others sway your own motherly instinct.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Your interpretation of a single parent... Posted: 5/1/2009 9:59:08 PM
A single parent is one adult who parents a child or children in their home. This is both parents although the child/children are often with one parent more than the other. This also does not have to be in a home with just the parent, a lot of times a single parent lives with the child's grandparents, or a roommate etc. I received this information from a dictionary, hope it helps.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

How to handle stress as a parent? Posted: 5/1/2009 11:53:26 AM
I hope you have a lot of resources available to you. You are going to need it. By this I mean parents, grandparents, friends, church, community resources etc. I all too well know as an adult it was a challenge, so I can only imagine what it would be like as a teen. Go to the people closest to you when you feel you need some time to unwind. You can take a time out for 10 to 15 mins to regroup and destress. Put on some soothing music, bubble baths are nice, take some time to yourself. You have to be fit mentally, physically and spiritually to take the proper care of your little one, that means taking a little time to yourself without the baby. This does not mean leave it with whoever whenever you want to go out, this is true time to yourself doing something that calms you. I hope you have the support you need. Good Luck!

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

I need to know how to find out if a good daycare with no complaints Posted: 4/30/2009 8:14:08 PM
Sometimes Elementary schools know of people that watch children in homes, and are trust worthy. Child Services is a great place to look also. You could try a babysitter club and see if they know any good places too. If you have friends, word of mouth is usually the best.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

what kinda baby clothes needed for a newborn baby Posted: 4/30/2009 8:03:35 PM
Don't forget gowns with either elastic at the bottom or a draw string. I loved them, easy access to the baby for changing and that's what mine was in most of the time they were at home the first few months. The only time I put something else on them was when I was having someone come to see them or going out.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

need advice on custody issues Posted: 4/30/2009 7:59:22 PM
Get a lawyer. That being said if there is no order, she can not stop you from seeing him, you have as much right to have him as she does. You can go get him and she can't do anything about it. I would say you should call the police to go over there with you though, cause she probably won't like you just coming to get him.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

what do I do now? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:56:53 PM
I would have called on it too. I can't tell you how many teens I've had at my house because of parents that don't care or are abusive. I could get into trouble myself I know, but my heart is too big, when I have a open room and one of my teens friends comes to me and asks if they can crash for a while. I usually call their parents so they will know where they are, but you'd be surprised at how many don't care. Children are not supposed to be disposable. I don't understand this or abuse. I would not tolerate it either. If it happens again do the same thing, call the police. Did you tell them that he tried to hit her? Maybe that would have made a difference.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

Does daddy help support me? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:45:33 PM
Depending on the age of the child. I would answer his questions as simple as possible, that's usually the best rule for younger children. As they get older they will ask more questions. It's just been a rule in my house that I answer what they ask. I don't bash the other parent or anything like that I just give them a simple answer. It has served me well and they usually don't bring it up again. I have told them at some point that this is not the kind of thing we go around telling everyone and their brother though too, so they know that it isn't something they should be going to their friends house discussing.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

How soon do you let the person you're dating known you have kid(s)? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:41:25 PM
My profile says yes where it asks if I have kids. I believe in being up front and honest with someone. If you have them, let the person know right away, then they can decide if they want to continue dating you or not and neither of your time will be wasted.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Was I wrong? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:38:08 PM
No, you were not wrong and I'd get rid of him quick. You've only known him 3 weeks and he's dishing out punishment?! I don't even bring anyone home that soon. My kids tend to get attached to a male very quick, because there isn't one in our home on a daily basis, so I just be up front with the men and let them know until I know that this relationship is going to go some where I won't be bringing them home. I don't think it's good for the kids either. This man seems way too controlling. Move on and don't look back.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Help!! Posted: 4/30/2009 7:33:11 PM
Right on Conscious Soul, I have a 5 yr old little girl and she's said some very hurtful things in the past couple of years. Not so much any more, but it was the same, I was working full time and going to college full time and it left me at home very little and with her very little. She missed me and that was the reasoning behind it. Now that part is over, our lives are much better for me going to college and getting a nursing license and I can provide better for us all now and spend more time with all of my kids (3). They appreciate what I did so we could have a better life. But it's hard at her age to understand all of that. She could also be wanting a "normal family", I'm sure all kids do. I've tried to get some great male role models in my kids lives and they are thriving fine. You're doing fine, just spend as much time with her as you can and know it will get better. She'll thank you for all your hard work some day. My 17 yr old graduates this year and I can't tell you how many times she's told me how thankful she is that I cared enough to take care of her and raise her and teach her good morals and values. This is what will come to you some day.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

What is the easiest way to strip a father's rights? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:22:40 PM
along with the restraining order, like someone else said you need to have excellent documentation, times, dates and exactly what has happened, because they will need this for the restraining order. You have to show just cause for it. I've had to get one myself, and if she is currently still seeing him, you need to document everything that happens. If you do have to get a lawyer they will want all that information too. Even if it's calls to harass you, document time and date and what was said, because you will forget with time. Good luck to you.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 82 (view)

Do women actually exist that date men with kids?? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:14:34 PM
You must be dating shallow women. I would think that was the greatest man in the world. Of course I have 3 children of my own and wouldn't not mind helping raise more as I take in stray teens on occasion now. But my kids dad sees them it seems as little as possible and they would love to have a male in their life that really cared for them as I'm sure a man's children would love to have a woman in their lives for the same reason. Pass up the ones that don't want to date you, there are a lot of great women out here that would. And thanks for being a great dad, there's alot of kids that don't have that.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Child Tax Credit... who gets it ? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:09:36 PM
In the US, if you are both 50/50 raising the child, then every other year you get to take the child on your taxes and every other year he gets to take the child. That's the only fair way to do it. Whoever files their taxes first will be the one awarded the tax credit. The other one is out of luck and believe me, they will find out if you both try to take the child.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Am I right or wrong? Posted: 4/29/2009 8:19:48 PM
I don't know any man that likes to be disrespected. If she doesn't have the common sense to see that this was something that you couldn't handle, then 1) she wasn't that into you (so much so that she allowed her friends to disrespect you or (2) she was clueless, I'm betting on (1). Be glad it's over sooner than later and move on. Good Luck!

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

What do you expect him or her to be by the age of 30. Posted: 4/29/2009 8:14:03 PM
I have no expectations of anyone because people are what they are. Some have had issues and made mistakes and hopefully learned from them, others have not gone down that same path. I don't think anyone should judge a book by its cover, sometimes by doing so you miss out on a really great read.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

seems frustrating... Posted: 4/28/2009 8:09:16 PM
I'm a lot like you, that's why I came to the dating site. I really didn't do anything other than work, and be a single mom. My advice is do what I started doing. The places I do go, I started talking to people, especially people that aren't wearing a ring on their finger and figure eventually I will find someone who wants to hang out. If I'm talking to people that are the places I go, then we will for sure have at least that in common. Plus sometimes there are people there that know someone that's single and they are like "Hey, I know this great guy, you should let me hook you two up". So it takes time and go to some of the dating sites social events, if they are close, you will for sure meet people that way that are looking for the same thing you are. Good Luck!

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

The Emotional Toll of Dating. Posted: 4/27/2009 8:15:22 PM
I've only been at this for 3 yrs now, but I have met some great guys and some that were jerks. The jerks made me wonder why I was doing this, but then I'd remember they are not the ones I'm going to end up with and I move on. On occasion I do feel as though I'm never gonna find the right person for me, but when that happens, I do a lot of inward searching and see where that's coming from and fix it quick. Dating should be fun and enjoyable, not depressing. At the very least you can make new friends and who knows maybe one of them will know someone and say hey, I know this great guy. The big picture is there is someone out there for each and every one of us that is going to be our perfect match, you just have to go through a lot of people sometimes to find yours. Anything worth having is worth the work and the wait. Keep on fishing

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

Guys with kids Posted: 4/27/2009 10:05:20 AM
I don't have a clue about other women, but when I see a man that has kids and is part of their life, that's someone I want to get to know. I have 3 kids and the dad only sees them when he can fit it into his busy schedule as he now in 3 ys has 2 more children from 2 different women and they keep him busy. So in my opinion any man that not only takes a part in his kids lives but is responsible is a great guy. I know too many men that are for lack of better terms "Dead Beat Dad's". I would chalk it up to these women were not the right one for you and move on. They could have been gold digging, and think well if he has kids he paying child support and there won't be any money for me. They also could have thought there'd be drama, or they just may not have wanted kids. In any of those cases, you are better off without those women. Keep looking, you'll find what you're looking for.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

Books versus Movies Posted: 4/27/2009 9:55:10 AM
I have decided that from now on I'm going to watch the movie before I read the book. All the books I've read, are way better than the movies. I think it's because the movies leave out 1/2 to 3/4ths of the book and it's all the descriptive things that make the book good. I couldn't wait for the Twilight movie to come out and went the day it opened and was very dissapointed :( I've also recently watched "He's just not that into you" and felt the same. I will say I did think the Narnia movies are pretty good and I have read those books several times. I like Harry Potter, but haven't read the books, my kids have them just wouldn't read them, cause I like the movies. I did like RoseRed, Hannibal, Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, but didn't read the books until after I saw the movies. The worst one for me was Flowers in the Attic.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 142 (view)

How come we all get so picky after 30? Posted: 4/27/2009 9:38:14 AM
I don't think it is that I'm so picky as I am older, wiser and know what I want in a man and a relationship. I may not look like I did when I was 20, but I'm not looking for a male that looks like he's in his 20's either. I am not expecting perfection, I'm expecting the perfect person for me and as many imperfections as I have, I'm sure he'll have a few too.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Everyone Wants a Cougar Posted: 4/26/2009 4:55:36 PM
When I first started dating again, I was attracted to a guy that was 24, he was attracted to me and well, I guess I became a cougar. I at that time was vulnerable, extremely surprised that he would even be interested in someone my age (not knowing at that time anything about cougar), and thought well, "I still got it". Much to my surprise, laugh, it did not work out and we both moved on, it did last about 1/2 a year, but I know now that that much younger is not mentally in the place I am (forgetful) LOL and that although we had a lot in common, it was not enough because we were two very different places in life. He's just starting wanting to have a kids and family and settle down or not, and I've done the marriage thing, had kids and am full aware of who I am and what I want and where I'm going in life. So cougar no more....

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 236 (view)

Why are so many women over 30 Cynical Posted: 4/26/2009 4:46:11 PM
I'm about the happiest person you will ever meet. I'm 40 +. I think laughter is the spice of life. I've had my share of heart ache, but I've learned you must pick yourself up and wipe yourself off and move on with live. As a woman I want another relationship and I know carrying a lot of baggage and bitterness around is not the way to find love. Too bad more woman and men don't realize that. There'd be a lot more hook ups and relationships started.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

What's it mean when..... Posted: 4/26/2009 4:36:13 PM
You should read "He's Just Not That Into Me". It's a fun book, with a little insite to what men are thinking. I read it and could see myself as well as several of my friends in what it had to say. From reading the book I'd say "He's just not that into you".

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 404 (view)

Over 30 -- What is your biggest turn on Posted: 4/25/2009 9:20:42 PM
A really big turn on for me is eyes as they are the windows to the soul. I also have a thing for feet! Couldn't date someone with ugly feet. I know I'm weird, but a good weird.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 1637 (view)

so, why are you still single? Posted: 4/25/2009 9:17:11 PM
I have a brother that will be 40 this year and he is in the same boat with Lonewolf. He was a truck driver for several years and has just recently changed careers because he was finding it hard to have a relationship with someone when he was gone most of the time. He's never been married and a lot of women seem to look at that as a bad thing instead of WOW he's not been married good for him. Be happy in who you are and don't let the words of other's get you down. You will find someone when you are ready and tell anyone that has a problem with that "Bite ME"

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

what happens when we are 40 and single, who is available to date? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:44:07 PM
POD1RN, I am with you all the way sister. When you find them will you send 1 or 2 my way? I get a lot of swingers or men that are asking my bust size, but no one that is actually wanting a relationship. Good luck to you.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 2321 (view)

what is everyones opin on tattoos? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:41:08 PM
Well, I went through a foolish 40 thing and I had always wanted a little one on my foot or ankle, I ended up getting a big one on my left shoulder that covers a scar I have there. I really don't even see it much, since its on my back, I like it though and don't regret getting it. I don't look like the kind of person that would have one, so people usually freak when I tell them I do. I'd like to get another, just haven't. I think depending on what it is and where it is, they look sexy on men.

sweetpea266

Joined: 10/20/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

KC and Surrounding Areas - Rockabilly Swing Dancing 4/30/09 6:30pm Posted: 4/24/2009 9:31:00 PM
I'm going to try to go, I live up here in St. Joe so if I can figure out how to get there will be there. LOL I have never did swing dancing, but it can't be much different than any of the other dancing I've done, so I'll give it a try. NO laughing aloud

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