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 Author Thread: Being Stood Up Over and Over Again
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Being Stood Up Over and Over Again
Posted: 5/10/2013 10:06:45 PM
I don't understand how anyone could fail to meet you after that photo with the puppies anyway.

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Ha! So true – Aren’t they too cute .... brother and sister Pit-bulls.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Being Stood Up Over and Over Again
Posted: 5/10/2013 10:01:00 PM
If someone displayed that sort of lack of trust in me before we met I might be inclined to pass on meeting - I wonder if they might feel that you are giving them the "third degree" prior to meeting and this is putting them off. IMO exchanging a whole lot of personal information prior to meeting is not necessary unless you are going on a long distance meet. If you are worried about your safety meet prior to exchanging personal information keep it light and meet in a public place over something as short as a coffee.
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I hope you are not really that naive to think that anyone who accepts a date with you or any other man on a free online dating-site would not do a quick background check to make sure you are a safe person to meet.
I do not give anyone the “third degree”. However, if I did or said anything to make a man change his mind about going out with me (since the “ask out” usually comes at the end of a conversation), they could very easy not ask me out in the first place.

FYI- I had a friend who was the mother of three, murdered by a man she knew briefly – so I always make it a point to know something about the people I meet that I don’t know. There is no reason to automatically trust anyone you don’t really know.
 Vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Being Stood Up Over and Over Again
Posted: 5/10/2013 8:32:48 PM
I know you didn't request a profile review, but the above is a most unfortunate juxtaposition. Maybe the over-fifty men thought "Hmm."
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I’m guess these guys read my profile and if they were not interested, they would not have contacted me in the first place.

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Also, do you ever give potential dates any personal information about yourself, such as your last name or place of business? They could be running a background check on you, and deciding not to meet you based on that information.
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Yes, I always get their information and do a google/facebook search to make sure they are who they say they are.
 Vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Being Stood Up Over and Over Again
Posted: 5/10/2013 7:03:24 PM
This will be the fourth time I have been stood up in about three months.

These are all men who made the effort to contact me and exchange emails with me. Then after speaking to me on the phone, they have asked me out to meet me and set a time and a place. In all four cases, they have just disappeared and not responded to my emails and texts to confirm the day either the day of or the day before. In all four cases, they were men in their fifties who live in my area.

Can someone shed some light on why anyone would make the effort ask a woman out and then disappear??? Are they just trying to see if someone would say yes to them? If this just happened once or twice over a long period, I wouldn’t think much of it. If they didn’t like the conversation we had, then they didn’t have to ask me out in the first place. Or if they changed their mind, they could have email/texted some lame excuse.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 313 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:10:52 AM
Why are Andrea's shirts always 3 sizes too small?


Cause she wants attention from men... even the male walkers!

Also, who is bleaching and doing her hair?? It’s the end of the world but Andrea’s salon is still open.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 100 (view)
 
With all the whining about men hold most CEO positions
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:47:18 PM
Sorry – I couldn’t find anything in your links that said men were being kept out of nursing profession.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:17:37 PM
happy-go-lucky_

I thhink I love you! A guy who gets it. :)
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:48:09 PM
The problem with gender roles is that not everyone fits into them based on their gender. This creates dysfunction in relationships and causes a lot of people a lot of unhappiness.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 97 (view)
 
With all the whining about men hold most CEO positions
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:10:54 PM
I've said previously in this thread that there are also some professions which discriminate against men; the one that most readily comes to my mind is nursing. Also, hairdressing; it's widely assumed that a man who is interested in hairdressing as a career must be gay.
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I don’t understand your statement. How are men discriminated against being nurses or hairdressers? There are lots of men who are nurses and hairdressers. I never heard that men have ever been blocked from getting these jobs.
I don’t know about everyone else, but I have never assumed anything about anyone’s sexuality based on their career choice.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Looking for my Peeps
Posted: 3/21/2013 7:38:52 AM
I think you all miss understood me. I’m not looking for hippies. I’m not a hippie. My parents were. I’m looking for the children of hippies. I thought maybe someone here might say, that they grew up the way I did.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Looking for my Peeps
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:50:40 PM
I don’t smoke pot myself (although, I did accidently eat an editable that I thought was a regular gummy bear this past summer. Long story.) The strongest drug I do is an occasional glass of chardonnay and my morning coffee. Because I guess of the way I grew up, I don’t have a problem with other people blazing the occasional fatty, but it’s not my thing.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Caught off guard by a Narcissist
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:30:45 PM
Yes, they think that they are superior to everyone and that they can so easily take advantage of anyone they want to. But they also have not self-awareness and don’t get how really empty they are. They often have a feeling of uneasiness unless they feel they have a “one-up”. They have to interact with other people. This is why they often get so angry when their spouses leave them.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Looking for my Peeps
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:10:36 PM
Celje – My mom’s family is from Vancouver BC but I haven’t visited since I was a kid. What an awesome town. I saw a production of GodSpell there in the early 70’s.

PittsburghVixen – I’m not talking about the aging Hippies. I’m talking about their kids. Where the heck are they???
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Caught off guard by a Narcissist
Posted: 3/17/2013 8:51:37 PM
My ex-husband is a Narcissist. Very often they are difficult to spot because they don’t actually have a personality of their own so they will take on yours. This will often make you feel like you met the perfect person for you because they just became you. Please run from this person like your hair is on fire. It will not end well for you if you involve yourself with a Narcissist.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Looking for my Peeps
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:55:37 PM
Ha! What you describing is what my dad calls “Blanket Hippies” a nice way of saying, homeless drug addicts.
I remember once when my parents and their friends were sitting round the living-room pontificating on the “Establishment” and calling them “Suits”. As a nine year old, I pointed out, how every one of them were equally conformist as they were all wearing the same Levi’s.

I have to respectfully disagree, that the "hippie culture" did not make a lasting impact. The best thing about growing up in the counter culture was no sexism, no racism, no ageism in fact no prejudice at all. It was totally cool for anyone to be anything and to love anyway they wanted without judgment. I still live my life that way and raised my son to be open to many people and lifestyles.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Looking for my Peeps
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:11:56 PM
OK, when I was growing my parents were what was called “Hippies”.

I’m talking long haired, blue jean wearing, weed smoking, free loving, atheist, socialist, Hippies. We listened to The Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan and Janis Joplin on our stereo and ate what was back then weird food but is totally main-stream today. I once was allowed to paint the refrigerator just because it was white and that was so boring. My teacher at school went by his first name, Tom (forcing kids to call adults by their last name was so oppressive) and his hair was so long he could sit on it.

We lived in Northern California and my parents had a lot of other “Hippy” friends and they all had their own “Hippy” kids with names like Star Shine and Honest.

I’m pretty sure Star Shine and Honest have since changed their names, but where are they? Why don’t I ever meet anyone who grew up like I did?

Would love to hear if any of you have similar stories of your childhood.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 306 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 3/16/2013 10:58:10 PM
A few Walking Dead Questions: Why is Glen’s car always so clean? Why is Michonne always so shiny?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 305 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 3/16/2013 10:52:52 PM
I found myself longing for Shane in that scenario.. we all know what he would have done!
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Oh I miss Shane! :(
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
With all the whining about men hold most CEO positions
Posted: 3/16/2013 11:17:21 AM
As a woman and a feminist who has an office.

To Do List:
• Turn up air-conditioning
• Whine
• File and clean nails
• Appreciate life threating hardships CEO men go through for the all of us to survive
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/11/2013 8:41:01 AM
Before making a character judgement,check your age requirements. He may have changed his age to fall within your requirements to message you. If its for another reason,I'm not so sure.
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People put the age requirement on their profile because that is who they want to hear from. Lying about your age to contact someone who doesn’t want to hear from you is arrogant, egoistical and rude.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:25:25 PM
My experience with dating men who haven’t had any children is that I just don’t seem to be able to relate to them. Sorry, but they just don’t seem somehow, grown up not have that (parenthood) experience. At least the men I have met seem to be very fearful of women with children. As if we are looking for a “Daddy” for our kids. Personally, all the single parents I know (both single moms and single dads) are perfectly able and content raising their kids. We are complete families even if we are doing it on our own or share with an ex. I’m sure many men without children are fine people but just not for me. I guess I don’t “get “them and they don’t “get” me.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:55:47 AM
I am a perfect example of why people lie. Since I turned 50 in June, I hear crickets on this site and my in box is oh so empty, so I see why so many people feel it necessary to lie about their age to keep from becoming invisible.

Here is the difference as I see it. Men lie about their age to attract younger women and women lie about their age to attract men their own age.

I wonder what would happen if we all had to be totally honest about our age, height, weight, education, job, children and marital status. Oh and I almost forgot, recent pictures.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/9/2013 9:28:09 AM
Let me first state that I very rarely get asked out now because I state my true age. Last year when I was fourth-nine, I got far more responses.

I went out with a guy from POF last weekend. As soon as I meet him it was clear he lied about his height. Then he admitted he wasn’t the age he told me he was. Then it turned out he didn’t actually live in the area he said he did. I finally thought, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done” when he told me he had two children but then admitted he had three children.

My point, if someone is willing to lie about one thing, it seems they are willing to continue to lie about anything. Another poster wrote a liar takes away your freedom to choose what you want in your life. I’m sure there are lots of us who are now divorced because we were lied to and didn’t get the true story when we married our ex-spouses, so yes, a lie does matter.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I probably need to date other parents of ADHD kids!
Posted: 3/6/2013 7:41:13 PM
Plusgurl – My son, my dad and I all have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD - We don’t look at it as a handicap, although we know all too well how difficult sometimes the simplest things can be for us.

Personally I think ADHD was/is an evolutionary trait that is no longer useful in the modern world.

I know it freaks people out who don’t have it but I promise, as your son gets older and more self-aware, he will find his way. My cousin had a really miserable childhood because everyone though he was just a big brat who would not behave. Now he is an ER doctor. A perfect profession for a person living ADHD.

I would suggest you try to meet up with men who have their own children with ADHD or even have it themselves.

FYI – People with ADHD are way fun.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:52:47 PM
So it's a shame that you and your friend have never received one pleasant email from any man. I find that hard to believe, but if you state it it must be true. Maybe it's only men who watch "Dancing With The Stars" as I have never said anything mean to women on this site, but then again I don't watch "Dancing." But wait, no you meant all men, not just some men.
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TuMuchFun – Where did I state I or my friend have never gotten one pleasant email from any man??
Where did I state all men or some men??? I wrote what I meant not what you think I mean.

DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse – I care what strangers think about me because it is hurtful, rude and mean. My feelings are not hurt but it does freak me out to know there are actually people out there who think it’s ok to send such emails.

15111958 – Very Good point. The person who contacted my friend could have been anyone. The people who contacted me I think had to be men because I think only men can email me on POF.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:17:53 AM
Above post 1000%
"Why do women do things that make men soo mad they loose their tempers and opposed to physically harming them they call them mean words in their anger?"

Loaded question is a loaded question...
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anothertimeinpv- Women making men mad and then men reacting by saying mean things has nothing to do with my original question. But good try flipping the issue and making it women’s fault that men can’t control themselves. I don’t know who your comment is more insulting to…men or women.

My question was why I and my friend have had men unprovoked and unsolicited contact us to attack us about how we look??? So I posted, "men saying mean things to women."

And so far I haven’t heard from one man say any woman has contacted them unprovoked and unsolicited to insult their looks.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:40:46 AM
browneyesboo – I think you hit the nail on the head. What some “people” are willing to say on line, they would never have the nerve to say to someone’s face.

I guess what I really can’t wrap my head around is why anyone would take the time/trouble to, think, write down and send such nasty comments to a total stranger completely on unsolicited and unprovoked. What pay-off/pleasure could they possibly get from it?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:58:45 PM
And really, do you believe it is just men that do this.
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Madailein – No, I never said just men do this. I only know my personal experience.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:05:07 PM
I get it sometimes. However, I am not in the public eye, if she is a celebrity she needs to grow a tough skin. I work with models and actresses for photos, they know the deal and understand the media is very very very vain. It is all about vanity. Christina Aguilera put on all that weight and owned it, so much so I barely hear about it anymore. She gained weight, everyone is over it because she is not changing for anyone.
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Football11234 - It’s one thing for the media say mean things about celebrities to sell advertising space in their papers and on their websites; it’s another thing for an individual to send a personal email for the purpose of being cruel. And as I mentioned it doesn’t happen to just celebrities.

TantricJedi – Thank you for your kind words. I think you’re pretty cute yourself.

Space_Weaver – I’m sorry for your bad experience – I guess Jerks know no gender.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:40:59 PM
I feel so bad for a friend of mine. She is somewhat of a celebrity and so in the public-eye. She has recently put on some weight. She got the nastiest email today from a man she doesn’t know on her website.

Here is the message: This is NOT anyone who is on POF
I've contacted dancing with the stars and told them I won't be watching if you're on. They've said they know to have you is bad ratings and have not considered you at all. Now chubba, back to the new idea pics. don't you even care about your son and his reputation or feelings of embarrassment at having a fat ho for a mother show off all her fat legs and arms and stretch marked gut in public? You'd do anything to get attention and get in the mags. You won't ever be back on TV because everyone hates you. You should not be showing off all that disgusting skin.

I myself have gotten at least three email’s since joining POF from men letting me know how ugly they think I am.
I don’t know if women are compelled to send men nasty message disapproving of their looks, but men sure seem to.

Has this every happen to any of you? Or have you ever sent such an email?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:49:46 PM
I knew a man some years back who told me the day before his wedding his fiancé left him for his best friend. He told me he had gone to the airport to pick up her parents and when they got home, the girlfriend wasn’t there. They waited for a few hours for her to come home and finally, she called to tell him she wasn’t coming back.

I also used to work with a woman whose husband left her for her maid-of-honor the day after their wedding. She was pregnant with their daughter. She later married a friend of her ex-husbands’ and had two more children.

Even though I have had my heart broken, I am very thankful I have never had such a bad experience of betrayal.

I really wish I could understand what makes people so cruel to the people they claim to care about.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 103 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:52:37 AM
AnnieOchre - Don’t you understand? It’s a Feminist conspiracy. You see the Feminist sent out a memo to all the entitled American women to marry men they don’t love and then divorce them and take all their money.

Apparently the courts on in on it too.

The only way a man can find true love it to get a mail-order bride from a 3rd world country because women in third world countries know their place and don’t have any crazy idea’s about expectations in a relationship.

My only question is why are these guys bothering to be on a date website at all??? Don’t they know women in 3rd world countries don’t have access to the internet?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 94 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/10/2013 12:34:47 PM
^^^^Of course divorce lawyers don't know why people are getting divorced. They are not psychologists or social workers. All they know is what people complain and whine to them about, and they hopefully know the law regarding divorces. They also learn pretty early on that being a divorce lawyer is probably the worst legal field to be in because people are so vicious to each other when they are getting divorced. But you know who make the best divorce lawyers? Mean . . . nasty female attorneys. That's who I would seek out if I were seeking a divorce.

I didn't say divorce attorney are all women . . . learn to read and comprehend. Pretty important skill if you are working in the law. I said that "women lawyers" are more likely to be divorced than the general female population.

As for my source, years of reading various magazines, Psychology Today, etc., and various studies. I have little doubt if you put in the effort you would come up with the same results. Just try Google.

I don't see my "ex-wife" as an entitled princess. I see many women as entitled princesses. Their attitudes and demands have made many women unhappy with their own lives. They blame it on guys of course, without wanting to put the blame where it belongs, on themselves, but I guess that is not all that surprising. And as I have said elsewhere on these threads, the feminist movement has caused many, many women to be unhappy.u
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Cool!!! You were in on all the conversations with our clients who told us why they were seeking divorce during their depositions and you read Psychology Today so you know. I didn’t read those articles in Psychology Today, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t say women leave their marriages because they are entitled princesses.

I will say the same to you – You should to learn to read and comprehend… I don’t work in the legal field and I never said I did.

So the Feminist movement is to blame. Got it.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 91 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:53:36 AM
Vibrant, it is a fact that far more women initiate divorces than men. They are unhappy for years, marriage did not meet their expectations, so sooner or later they finally opt for the divorce. Why were they unahppy? Because they imagined the perfect little married life where they would be the princess and would live happily ever after. And then reality hit them in the eyes. Men are unhappy too, but they are more likely to believe in their duty, honor and commitment, so they aren't as quick to cut and run.

This is no secret. Why does this happen, because too many people, primarily women, marry people they don't love. And why do they marry men they don't love? Because they convince themselves they love a man because of what he might bring to the table, whether it be a solid financial future, security, position in the community, etc. that will benefit her and her future children. As time goes by, of course, she realizes this is not enough.

Interesting statistic. Female lawyers are far more likely to be divorced than the general population of women. That's because these oftentimes overachievers could never marry just any guy, but they have to marry the highly successful guy. What's love got to do with it?
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Glad you cleared that up for me. I guess all those divorce attorneys I work with (not sure where you get that they are women), don’t know what they are talking about. And that you know exactly why women divorce their husbands. Since you claim that it is not a secret, can you please direct me to where you get this information??? I would really like to know.
Your profile doesn’t say anything personal about yourself. You don’t even state your occupation. It does say that you are divorced. I’m guessing you see your ex-wife as an entitled princess.
Just because you say something, doesn’t make it true.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:07:58 AM
What exactly are American women not entitled to have, that they think they are entitled to have??? And are American men entitled to have something that American women are not entitled to have?

If you are will to explain this to us American women then maybe will understand what it is that we are not entitled to and you will want to be with us.

Just wondering.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 87 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/10/2013 9:26:15 AM
to msg 78 . To divorce , umm women are initiating over 70% of the divorces , not because they are being mistreated or being cheated on or because their spouse is a bad provider or father or husband . But merely because they are tired of him and want a different man . In this day of no fault divorce courts , women can cash in when they initiate a divorce like never before . Cleaning out their soon to be ex husband . I love it when some one starts talking with no facts what so ever .Typical of feminists , they seldom use facts . Main problem in the west is women are acting like they are the men .Hate to tell you this but the only relationships where men are with men are not what most the men here are looking for . Then the women wonder why so many american men are looking over seas for relationship materiel .
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Can you please show us exactly where you got this static of women imitating 70% of divorces without a reason other than wanting another husband and not talk out your ass.

No-one is “cashing in” on a divorce. I partner with several divorce attorneys here in LA helping their clients establish their own insurance so I have a great deal of professional experiance. A divorce is an extremely stressful and unpleasant process regardless of who initiated it. In most states (I think only in NY is not but soon will be) the marital assets are divided 50/50.

Interesting that you accuse Feminist of not using facts when you when you don’t seem to hold yourself to the same standard. But perhaps being a man,you feel entitled not to have to.

The main problem with you (I would not say Western Men because “thank G-d” they don’t all think like you). Check it out, women are allowed to feel and think anything they want. And check it out, lots of men dig women who speak their minds and make their own money.

(Also, please clarify what exactly you mean by “act like they are men”???).

And yes, we women, do wonder why a grown man would not want an equal partner in a relationship because I can say that is what most if not all the women I know personally are looking for.

FYI – America is spelled with a capital.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 79 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/8/2013 8:10:44 PM
Bogie_Bacall474 – Amen Sister!!
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/2/2013 12:14:46 PM
OK – You’re right – Asian women are all super nice, sweet, submissive, petite, childlike, kind; etc. because of their culture and American women are all out to take advantage of men because of their culture. Women of any nationally just can’t help themselves and are all just subject to their culture. I guess our “lady brains” can’t think for themselves and must adhere to traditional rolls. Double insult to Asian women and America women.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/2/2013 11:30:52 AM
Um...I think you're forgetting something called CULTURE.
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Actually, no I’m not forgetting something called CULTURE – culture only goes so far. Since I have lived in another culture I think I have room to talk about it.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
so , I have this question all the time , why so many senior guys looking for younger Chinese laides
Posted: 2/2/2013 11:10:55 AM
After reading the men’s responses there seems to be an overall implication that American “i.e., white women”, treat men poorly.

FYI – guys you might want to consider anyone of any background or gender can treat people poorly or well. My former in-laws are from Japan and how they or any of their family treats other people is totally an individual behavior and has nothing to do with yellow skin, black hair or a small body type.

If you want own up to your “Asian Fetish” that is one thing but please don’t blame American women for it.

Ongoing painting all women with one brush as if we are a “flavor of ice-cream” and not individual people; I have said it before and I will say it again, misogyny is alive and well.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 1/27/2013 9:27:28 PM
I have contacted many age and geographically appropriate men, making sure to fully read their profile and writing something about them in my email.

So far I have not received a single response. I can’t imagine that every man finds me so totally undesirable so I can only conclude that most men do not like to be contacted by women.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Collateral Damage
Posted: 1/16/2013 9:32:12 PM
My boyfriend broke up with me the end of October. He is a widower with a 15 year old son.
It has been very difficult for me and I am doing my best to accept his decision and move on with my life.
However, I’m finding that not only am I missing my ex-boyfriend, I am missing his son terribly. I also feel so very guilty having gotten so close to this boy after he had already lost his mom. I made all his favorite foods that his mom used to make for him and took him shopping. I generally did the kinds of nurturing only a mom can do. I grew to care for this boy as much as I did his dad and so now I miss them both.

So how do you deal with having to give not one but two relationships?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:25:04 PM
I know two long time married couples where the wife is older than the husband. With one couple the wife is 16 years older than her husband and with the other couple the wife is 18 years older than her husband. Both couples met each other in the 90’s and still going strong.

But at the end of the day only you can decide if the age difference is ok with you.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:26:09 PM
As they say - Never make another person a priority when you are only an option to them. This man sounds like he is being very unkind to you. Do you think you deserve that???
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
She wants to be just friends. Is there a chance for more?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:32:09 PM
Mostly I would say no. No change at all, ever.

However, my former boyfriend was just a friend for eleven years. Not only was he married but very over weight and also short. Well his wife passed and about a year after her passing, he asked me to dinner. I thought it was “just friends” getting together to catch up. Well after .inner, we went for a walk. Then he put his arm around me and gave me the most sensual kiss ever. That is when I realized we were actually on a date and to spite his height and weight, I was instantly smitten.

There is always hope - Best of luck.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 207 (view)
 
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:11:35 PM
Although I am not a believer, I did grow up in a Jewish home. To be honest, I really don’t get the Christian point of view regarding sex. In the Jewish religion – within a marriage, sex is not only not a sin, but considered a great blessing. In fact sex is very often addressed within a Jewish marriage contract. If the husband doesn’t satisfy his wife, she is well within her rights to divorce him.

That said, I think it is way, way more fun to have sex with a man who think sex is dirty, than with a man who doesn’t think sex is dirty.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:03:47 PM
Just curious: Did he have a picture on his profile?

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Yes – He had a picture and well written profile. Also, he had had his profile up for sometime.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:57:44 AM
After reading so many similar stories here by women, I 'd have to say they are married and are only in it for a limited chase!
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My Bad – I’m usually pretty good at spotting the married/attached ones - but I guess this was just a rank amateur move on my part. :)
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:54:01 PM
Something similar happened to me. I had a connection with a guy, we chatted and hit off. We planned to meet and he texts me saying he had to fly out of town for worn. Later in the day he said after we talked the night before he had a very very close friend (female) that he was on the phone with for over 6 hours, three hours she was crying and the next day his profile on POF was gone and I never heard from him again. He said he was a workaholic and single...complete BS!!! At least I found out before we met in person.
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At least he contacted you with a lame excuse. :)
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:36:35 PM
Ummm…Starting to think there are no normal, sweet single men. Sorry guys, don’t mean to “man-bash” but based on personal experience after experience; I’m finding more and more men just don’t have any integrity. I don’t think I’m asking for a lot; just be decent.
 
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