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 Author Thread: over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 144 (view)
 
over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/21/2008 8:13:52 AM
If you think being single and over 40 is a "red flag" then your are a fool..plain and simple.

If you look at being divorced as "given" about the ability to have a successful relationship then you have very twisted view of relationships.

It never ceases to amaze me how many version of this idiotic question are on here, and how many people who actually think there's something wrong with me because I am over 40 and single an childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be 40 and
never been married.

Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..

Maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature tiwt who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too eh?

Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???


Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...

If anything being single means you been pretty discerning as to what will or will not work in a relationship, instead of just jumping in....then jumping out again.

There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...I'm looking for a rest of my life
partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out before
hand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people who start
threads like this.


It took me nearly 40 years to finally love and accept myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, worts and all...I did a LOT of personal work to get to this space, and went through a lot of pain in the interim...But it's gotten me to the point where I know enough not to drag my Baggage into a relationship...and how to treat someone with love, honor, and respect...

Haven't you heard that we can't truly love another if we don't love and accept ourselves? That doesn't happen over night, or in your 20's...or 30's often either...
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Hot Wings
Posted: 10/17/2008 7:43:29 AM
I posted these in a similar thread a month ago...

1 ) This is a handy dandy Korean BBQ sauce that I came up with. It is very much an all purpose recipe, in that can be used as a marinade, it can be used as a dipping sauce, it can be used IN ground beef or chicken (like for meatballs or burgers) and it can be used as a glaze. Some things I have done... It makes great wings as well...

2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Mirin rice wine, or sake (optional)
1 1/2 tablespoons sambal oelek or Thai chile paste
1 teaspoon minced peeled fresh ginger
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil (optional but worth it)
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
3 garlic cloves, minced

( Sambaal Olek can be found in the asian section of any grocery store nowadays, do a websearch to see what the bottle looks like.) You can get small bottles of mirin rice wine and Sesame oil in the same aisle...you don't use a lot, so it last forever, and if you make this sauce a lot, it's worth spending the couple bucks each for the sesame oil and mirin.

2) Honey Ancho/Chipotle Wings.


Another all purpose glaze that can be used for anything....It is based around Ancho/Chipotle Puree

To make the Ancho/chipotle Puree:
Soak Chilis in very hot Chicken Stock until they reconstitute (about 15 to 20 minutes).
Allow to cool. Pour mixture into a food processor or blender along with the chipotle peppers and puree until smooth.

(I often make the puree and freeze it in small ziplock bags, then thaw it as needed for a recipe.)

The rest of it...

3 tablespoons Olive Oil
1 medium Onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
6 Ancho Chili Pods, stems and seeds removed
1-2 chipotle peppers with adobe sauce still coating it.
1.5 cups Chicken Stock
1 cup Tomato Puree
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Cumin
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Black Pepper
1/8 teaspoon (or to taste) dried Thyme
1 teaspoon (or to taste) Salt
3-4 tablespoons Honey


After reconstituting Ancho Chiles, add all ingredients into food processor and puree. Marinade wings overnight, and prepare as usual.

You can do a second round of glazes if you reserve a little of the steeped ancho chicken stock aside before adding it to the the rest of the marinade....Take some of the ancho stock, mix it with some more honey....just before serving the wings, brush them with this mixture.

Also, you can add a couple of tablespoons of Peanut butter to the mixture and make a spicy peanut sauce.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 945 (view)
 
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:20:17 PM

OK...surely this is in here somewhere. I mean 38 pages??!! I have people on my favorite list because I love to read their forum comments. There. I said it. Hello. My name is Connie, and I am a Forum Stalker. Guess what? Some of them I *cannot* message because I don't fit into the parameters that they have set. So, if I add you, please just know that your posts have made me smile, or I really enjoy your writing skills or point of view.



See this is exactly what I was asking about earlier, and didn't really get an answer...there really is a way to "Use" the favorites feature to see what your favorite poster has written?

That makes sense to me, why people keep adding me to favorites but not writing to me...

Thanks pretty lady!!!!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 939 (view)
 
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:04:25 PM

You know, it really doesn't matter if the favs feature becomes elective or not. Because the way some think, If someone decided not to show how many had favored him/her than anybody contacting them would/could be saying to themselves.. "Gee they haven't shown their favs, what are they hinding, how many do they have?" So, in the long run ~ assumptions, doubt, and miscues would still be prevalent..


You are so very right!

Based on some of the threads on here, it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do, some people will judge you, or discount you, or make assumptions anyway. You'll never be everyone's cup of tea. But I guess what only matters is the one person who hooks you (or you hook.)
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 141 (view)
 
Men who wear sunglasses in their profiles
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:44:16 AM
I would say that you have put a lot of thought and care into your profile - shouldn't you get more attention than the guy who just doesn't give a rip?


We're talking about dismissing someone based on him having a sunglass pictures, NOT if I read the original post correctly, about anything else on the profile...

My pictures are no more an indication of the content of my heart or soul, or my capacity to be a good partner than the type of car I drive. So in answer to your question, NO...I could be an abuser, or a psycho, or simply an a-hole who can market himself well, or I just happen to be good at writing, and have a bunch of pictures of me lying around...

Plenty of nice guys/girls don't have advanced degrees, or may be as articulate as I am, or simply don't have access to cameras/scanners, and therefore their profiles don't appear to some folks as "thoughtfully put together" as mine...So we judge them?

A long time ago I was working at a tv station that was going under. I was in my supervisor's office one day and he walked in and immediately swept a stack of unread resumes for a key position we were desperately needing filled into the garbage.

6 months later the station folded. I always wondered if maybe, just maybe, one of the people in those resumes, which were so callously discarded, so carelessly discounted, could have been the one to turn the station around.

If we use such shallow criteria as sunglasses to discount people then we could be missing out on the person we've been looking for.

It kinda reminds me of some saying some wise man once said...something about "judging not?"
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 137 (view)
 
Men who wear sunglasses in their profiles
Posted: 10/16/2008 8:49:05 AM
I can understand not caring for pictures of guys with other women, BUT there are pics of women with men in some profiles as well...(but I usually try to cut them some slack and assume that those guys are relatives.)

But sunglasses?

Wow...once again, it never ceases to amaze me what stupid and narrow minded criteria people use to keep themselves single and bitter.

And some of you complain that there are "no good men/women" on here...How do you know if wipe out an entire chunk of people based on some idiotic criteria as sunglasses? Shouldn't you be more concerned if he/she is a decent human being, not that they maybe the only picture they have available to them are outdoor ones?

*shakes head*
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Question re Undecided/Open about having children
Posted: 10/16/2008 8:09:21 AM
For me undecided/open, means Open

I'm open to the possibility of (genetically) having kids of my own, but no longer expect it to happen, so it's not a deal breaker for me anymore...I used to have that I wanted kids in my profile (because I do) but there just aren't many single women close enough in age to me who want to have kids...

I love kids, and have dated women with children , when you get to be a certain age it is a "given" that you'll date someone with children.

Perhaps we should get rid of the stupid do you have a car question, and make 2 seperate kids categories, "want kids" and willing to date a person with kids." (my answer is yes)


To me the undecided/open category was the closet bridge between " Definitely" and "Does not want kids."

Maybe the should also split undecided/open into 2 separate categories as well.

I think rather than just ASSUME anything about some of the selections people make on their profile, it's best to ask a person what they mean. Because there are as many reasons behind any given answer as there are people answering, and one shouldn't generalize and think that every man/every woman believes or means the same thing.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/16/2008 7:02:18 AM
Any of you out in the Grand Rapid's area, may want to consider getting together at this upcoming event. It's for a great cause.


Rock Out Cystinosis


Speaking of heavyweights, a bunch of fine local bands and musicians are joining forces for Sunday's "Rock Out Cystinosis" benefit at Founders Brewing Co., 235 Grandville Ave. SW. Performers include Drew Nelson, Michael Crittenden and Troll for Trout, Josh Rose and Bless You Boys. Turns out Megan Morrill, the 12-year-old daughter of longtime Troll for Trout drummer Brian Morrill (and is the drummer for Drew Nelson's cd's), is battling the rare and life-threatening cystinosis, a genetic metabolic disease that causes an amino acid to accumulate in the body's organs. The benefit starts at 4 p.m. The CD "Rock Out Cystinosis," a compilation of tracks from local artists, including Nelson's poignant "You Were There," will be sold at the event, with all proceeds going to the Cystinosis Research Network.
Get details online at rockoutcrn. org.


Sunday October 19 4pm
Founders Brewery
235 Grandville Ave SW
Grand Rapids MI

Performers.. Drew Nelson, Michael Crittenden, Troll for Trout, Josh rose, Spencer Mulder, and Bless You Boys.


If you haven't heard Drew Neslon, then check out his set. He is one of the country's best unknown singer songwriters around.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:51:23 PM

Im getting notice in now...In Sandusky we have a lighted farm impliment parade in December..good fun its on a friday...


Mooney, let me know when that is....if the roads aren't icy I might consider heading up for that.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/14/2008 6:53:06 AM
Here's something coming up, that I'm participating in that might be of interest to some of you POF'ers. Especially the beer drinkers among you. After all, beer is the "new black" and beer tastings are replacing wine tastings, it is being featured on food network shows all the time, and food/beer pairings are all the rage right now.)

Ever wonder what goes into making beer? Ever thought of Making your own? Want to taste some of the best beers that SE Michigan has to offer?

The American Homebrewers Association (AHA) Teach a Friend to Homebrew Day is an international event to introduce people to the homebrewing hobby and establish relationships with local homebrew supply shops.

Each year on the first Saturday in November, homebrewers around the world are encouraged to invite non-brewing and brewing friends and family to celebrate Teach a Friend to Homebrew Day and brew a batch of beer together.

In Our Area, Cap-N-Cork Home Brewing Shop is the Mecca for TAFTHB Day festivities.
I plan on being there all day brewing, with some friends and family, as well as some people from the online homebrewing forum I participate in.

Most of the larger clubs bring several kegs of their beer (and bottles of wine/mead) to share as well. (There was over 90 gallons @ the spring brew day.)

So if anyone wants to learn how to brew, taste some incredible beer, or just hang out, then come on out.
Cap N Cork Homebrewing Supply
16812 21 Mile Rd, Macomb, MI
10am-4pm

The event is free, but if you bring a dish to pass you will be loved by all. If anyone from POF is interested I'll put up a POF Fish sign at my setup, I'll even do it as a class if you want.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 879 (view)
 
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:23:56 AM
Gudnplenty,

It's good to know there's not some secret pof "Woman Code" I was missing out on.

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
What to do with strawberries
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:21:50 AM
Chocolate Covered Cheescake Stuffed Strawberries.

Ingredients

24 large strawberries
12 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 tablespoons confectioners' sugar

Favorite chocolate melted in a double boiler (I prefer a mixture of milk and dark choc. chips.)


Directions
Chill Strawberries and using the stems/hulls as handles dip strawberries in chocolate, then chill for 1-2 hours.

Remove stem/hulls from berries leaving a hollow space inside them.
Whip together the cream cheese, vanilla, and sugar.
Spoon or pipe the filling into each hole. Using a small rosette piping tip/pastry bag is much easier than using a soon. And it looks better.
Chill until 30-45 minutes before serving.

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 877 (view)
 
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:55:17 AM
I'm glad this thread has finally popped up because I've been confused about this whole "favorites" phenomenom myself.

I get constantly added to people's favorites, and they don't contact me, I've been wondering if that's POF code for "hey I'm interested in having you contact me." But I'm not sure. (I'd like to know the answer from the women's perspective.)

Is it being coy?
Is it because they feel like the man should then take the initiative?
Is it being used here like the "wink" function on a certain paid dating site, to express interest without the commitment of a message?
Is it being used here like a "friends list" on certain social networking sites?

I wrote to someone once who immediately after reading my message added me to favorites, but never responded to my email.

When I add someone to favorites, it is because I am interested in writing to them, when I have some time to fully read their profile and put together an introductory message, or if it a friend I know in RL....
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
makin friends over 30
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:12:03 PM
Meetup.com is a great way to find clubs and gatherings based on your interests in your area.

You make a profile listing your hobbies and interests and it will find groups near you on those subjects and if there isn't one available, you caneither start the group yourself OR you can be told when other people are looking for the same type of groups.

I've made some good friends in a couple groups in my area...
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is it just me?
Posted: 10/12/2008 8:04:14 AM
To take your deep thought even deeper, perhaps I am ignoring the guys that are "everything-I-want-and-need" and going straight for the ones with issues because I am so content that I want to add complications to my life??


People have been known to do that on one level or another, all you have to do is look at all the "how come nice guys/girls finish last? Why do women/men always choose the bad boy/girl?" threads on here to see that a lot of people are drawn often to
"darker" elements in people...often passing by perfectly decent people, those which actually wouldn't do those very things which we complain about. Why? Is it because we think noce people are boring? Is it because we have a deep seated desire to "fix" people...Sometimes people do it so they can "rescue" someone instead of dealing with their own baggage....There's lots of behavior/ relationship patterns that people do, either subconsciously or not... I have done relationship/couples/breakup counseling on occasion so I have the benefit of seeing it on a larger scale then just from the inside of a relationship...When you hear 50 different versions of the same story, you really no one is terminally unique.

I wasn't trashing you in my first post, ALL I was saying is that there is a fine line between being discerning and too picky...and if we want to find someone, we have to examine our "deal breaker" list and make sure every reason is truly valid and realistic, because if our list is too huge, too detailed, too limiting, it may leave us in a very lonely place.

Spicygirl asked the question
Which makes me wonder? How on earth are we all going to find a mate?


I believe that if we put a thick wall around us to keep all the stuff we don't like out, to protect us from pain....it makes it hard to let the good stuff, the good people in as well. Because no one is 100 percent perfect.

Best of luck to you.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:02:06 AM
There's something cool happening throuout the next few weeks here in Port Huron if anyone want's to come up...we could close the evening off afterwards at our local brewpub.

This is from our paper...



It doesn't have to be Halloween, or even October, for me to enjoy a spooky ghost story.

We used to scare each other with spooky ghost stories at slumber parties when I was a little girl. One scary tale was about a woman who haunted a dry riverbed in Southern Arizona (right outside of wherever our slumber party was, of course). According to the legend (real or made up by us -- I don't remember), the woman (her name was strictly the whim of the storyteller) died in childbirth and wandered up and down the river bed looking for her baby. Of course we used flashlights to light the bottoms of our faces while sitting in the dark for maximum fright effect. I'm pretty sure we made more than one of our friends cry for mommy.

The ghost stories we enjoy may be different as grown-ups, but no less fun.And Bryan Tomlinson, a designer at Mueller Brass, is counting on it. Bryan will be our tour guide through 200 years of spooky downtown Port Huron history and hauntings.

He's been doing his homework at the Michigan Resource Room at the St. Clair County Library and talking with staff in the older downtown buildings about spooky first-person experiences.

And, yes, Bryan uses an old-fashioned lantern to give the fun its proper eerie glow.

I went on a preview tour last Friday night -- the tour is worth the time; I had a blast.

The spooky tour stops include the HAC, The Vintage Tavern, Quay Street (the street, not the bar), the Military Street Bridge, the Harrington Inn, the Times Herald and the Seventh Street Bridge. And Bryan fills the walk between stops with story snippets of other haunted Port Huron stories.

Tours start today and continue Fridays and Saturdays through Oct. 24. There's a special Devil's Night Tour Oct. 30. All tours start at 7:30 p.m. in front of the Huron Athletic Club restaurant, 319 Huron Ave. in downtown Port Huron.

The response has been huge and the dates are selling out quickly (a few people are on waiting lists), so don't dilly-dally with your reservation.

The tours are free, but tipping the host always is good form. To go on a tour, you have to make a reservation by calling (810) 984-8578.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is it just me?
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:21:53 AM
Yes, it is the same with men...There's very few issues in human nature that are gender specific, except maybe public restroom habits. So it's really pointless to generalize. Both genders have the capacity to be jerks & psychos where matters of the heart are concerned.

It seems to me that what you are talking about is just a factor about dating/romance. Nobody is going to be perfect, nor is anyone going to be EXACTLY what our mental checklist defines what our perfect match SHOULD be.

That list is a product of our ego, and is not necessarily what in the best interests of us...our ego is a great protector of our status quo, but operates at the level of a petulent child sometimes, telling us what we NEED to make it happy or to keep us safe. Sometimes we need to think out of th box or stretch beyond our comfort zones a little to find that prize.

AND also we must realize that the definitions we place on other people, may be based on our ego as well...like are you defining a guy that has one or 2 beers on occasion an alchoholic/life waster because of your own choice not to drink or issues you have with drinking from your life....becasue there is a huge difference between drinking socially and having a drinking problem.

But having said this, it is perfectly appropriate to have some "deal breakers" on our list...I personally do not date women who haven't been divorced/separated at least a year, I know from experience, both personally and professionally that people who are just divorced really aren't ready for serious relationships, and need some time to work things out.

I won't date someone who does drugs, even pot, either.

So it is not being picky to have a few "definite no's" on your list, but you need to really know the roots of why you have them.

For example, I went through a period where I didn't want to date women with really young kids, I didn't want to have to deal with things like baby sitters, and wanted some freedom in the relationship for spontaneity. But now I feel just the opposite, so kids of a certain age are not a deal breaker for me anymore...I actually enjoy doing "family" type stuff with them. Especially when I can bundle them off with their mom at the end of the date.

So sometimes even our "deal breakers" can change as we get older, and mellower about stuff.

And in long term relationships we realize that some things don't really matter if the person is truly loving, trustworthy, and decent to us...those things are WAY more important than which side they put the toilet paper on the TP holder or what song they whistle. TO make relationships work wehave to learn to compromise, not sweat the small stuff, and to chose our battles.

One thing to think about is if YOU are constantly going on a couple dates, then axing someone because of something on your list. Is it a valid reason, or are you doing it because you don't really subconsciously want a relationship any way....are you using your list to keep from letting someone get too close to you?
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Spicy rice for a pig roast......
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:41:55 AM
Here's a really really simple Spicy black been and rice side....

This serves 5 but you can up the recipe easily...

1 package Vigo (or similar brand) Yellow (spanish) rice
1 can black beans drained
1 can rotel diced tomatoes w/ chili...

Prepare rice as instructed on package when 10 minutes are remaining in the cooking add beans and tomatoes.

You can also omit the beans and when rice is ready fold in 3/4 cup of shreaded sharp chedder cheese.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:19:02 PM
I just got this from through of my homebrewing groups...looks like fun.


Metro Times Ale Fest
SATURDAY 10/18 1-5 PM

50 BEERS • 4 HOURS • SAMPLE 'TIL KEGS FLOAT!

Metro Times and Eastern Market are bringing top quality beer and the Fall Harvest Days together for the first ever Ale Fest. The event will take place in Shed 5 at Eastern Market on Saturday, October 18th from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm, rain or shine.

Over 50 different beers will be available to sample, ranging from dark ports and stouts to lighter pale ales and ciders. Attendees will sample favorites like Guinness, Hoegaarden, Stella Artois and Strongbow while also enjoying some of the Michigan beers available, including several Bell's Brews.

Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Ticket price includes beer samples until the kegs run dry and refreshments will be provided for a nominal price by Eastern Market. Metro Times and Eastern Market are expecting Ale Fest to sell out quickly, so buying tickets in advance and arriving early is recommended. Tickets can be purchased beforehand at the Metro Times office (click for directions) or at ticketweb.com. This event is 21 and up.

A portion of the profits made from Ale Fest will go to Eastern Market to support their endeavors to bring fresh, locally grown produce to Metro Detroit. In an effort to cut environmental waste from the beginning with this new event, all of disposable beer cups are made from PLA plastic derived from corn, which will decompose organically.

For more information about Ale Fest, contact Maria Stella at (313)202-8061 or by e-mail at promotions@metrotimes.com.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Cooking
Posted: 10/8/2008 9:28:06 AM
Here you go sexy...

Asian Sesame Orange Sweet Potatoes.

* 3 large sweet potatoes
* 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
* 2 teaspoons sesame seeds
* Salt and pepper
* 1 Tablespoon finely chopped or grated fresh ginger (or, 1 teaspoon dried ginger)
* 2 Tablespoons honey
* 1/2 cup orange juice
* 1 Tablespoon soy sauce

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cut off the pointy tips of the sweet potatoes and discard. Peel sweet potatoes; cut them into 1-inch squares.

Put the pieces in a wide, shallow baking pan or an ovenproof skillet. Drizzle with vegetable oil and stir the potatoes, turning to coat them with oil. Sprinkle with sesame seeds, salt and pepper. Place in the oven to bake for 30 minutes.

Combine ginger, honey, orange juice and soy sauce; stir to dissolve honey. When the sweet potatoes have baked 30 minutes, pour the orange juice mixture over the potatoes, stir and bake 10 more minutes, until potatoes are tender and dressing has been absorbed.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 381 (view)
 
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:01:04 PM
The women who are leery are fools..plain and simple.

I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me becasue I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be 40 and
never been married.

Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..

Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature tiwt who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too eh?

Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???


Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...

There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...I'm looking for a rest of my life
partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out before
hand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people who start
threads like this.


It took me nearly 40 years to finally love and accept myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, worts and all...I did a LOT of personal work to get to this space, and went through a lot of pain in the interim...But it's gotten me to the point where I know enough not to drag my Baggage into a relationship...and how to treat someone with love, honor, and respect...

Haven't you heard that we can't truly love another if we don't love and accept ourselves? That doesn't happen over night, or in your 20's...or 30's often either...

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/6/2008 12:58:31 PM

Are any of you going to participate in the zombie walk? I would definately like to do that!!!


I'm down for walking like a zombie.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Any very simple spicy dish recepies?
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:30:15 AM
Here's a couple of spicy marinade/glazes that I use.

1) This is a handy dandy Korean BBQ sauce that I came up with. It is very much an all purpose recipe, in that can be used as a marinade, it can be used as a dipping sauce, it can be used IN ground beef or chicken (like for meatballs or burgers) and it can be used as a glaze. Some things I have done... It makes great wings as well...

1) I have used it to marinade steaks for the grill.

2) I added it to a pound of hamburger (with a couple of fistful of panko breadcrumbs to absorb the excess liquid) and grilled up a bunch of awesome burgers .

3) I've marinated a huge porkloin in it and roasted that to spicy perfection.

4) Marinaded chicken wings in it overnight, then dumped them in the crock pot for several hours.

5) I have taken a couple boneless chicken breasts a tablespoon or two of this and ground the chicken in a food processor. Then took some of those wonton wrappers, and made little simple "raviolis" with them, these can be either steamed (just take a big pot with a lid and put a couple inches of water in the bottom, take a Cereal bowl and place in the bottom of the pot then put a plate on top of that, spray the plate with cooking spray and put the wontons on the plate turn the stove on medium and cover with a lid..leave for 20-25 minutes) Or pan fried.

2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Mirin rice wine, or sake (optional)
1 1/2 tablespoons sambal oelek or Thai chile paste
1 teaspoon minced peeled fresh ginger
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil (optional but worth it)
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
3 garlic cloves, minced

( Sambaal Olek can be found in the asian section of any grocery store nowadays, do a websearch to see what the bottle looks like.) You can get small bottles of mirin rice wine and Sesame oil in the same aisle...you don't use a lot, so it last forever, and if you make this sauce a lot, it's worth spending the couple bucks each for the sesa,e oil and mirin.

That's it...Just put it into a baggy and dump in your meat and let sit overnight...If you are mixing it into hamburger you will need to dump some sort of bread crumd/stale bread to help absorb the liquid into the meat.

Another thing you can do is take some boneless chicken breasts or steak and slice them lengthwise, get some bamboo skewers and put a piece of chicken on each skewer...Then marinade them for a couple hours or overnight in the sauce. You can cook them on your stove in a grill pan, under the broiler, on the BBQ grill OR they do really well on a george foreman grill...(this is similar to Thai Saatay)

Also, you can add a couple of tablespoons of Peanut butter to the mixture and make a spicy peanut sauce.

2) Honey Ancho/Chipotle Glaze.


Another all purpose glaze that can be used for anything....It is based around Ancho/Chipotle Puree. I've used it as a marinade without the honey, then added honey to some of it and used it as a glaze after. I also just used it to make shredded beef in my crock pot for tacos (like pulled pork, which it could be used for as well)

To make the Ancho/chipotle Puree:
Soak Chilis in very hot Chicken Stock until they reconstitute (about 15 to 20 minutes).
Allow to cool. Pour mixture into a food processor or blender along with the chipotle peppers and puree until smooth.

(I often make the puree and freeze it in small ziplock bags, then thaw it as needed for a recipe.)

The rest of it...

3 tablespoons Olive Oil
1 medium Onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
6 Ancho Chili Pods, stems and seeds removed
1-2 chipotle peppers with adobe sauce still coating it.
1.5 cups Chicken Stock
1 cup Tomato Puree
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Cumin
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Black Pepper
1/8 teaspoon (or to taste) dried Thyme
1 teaspoon (or to taste) Salt
3-4 tablespoons Honey

After reconstituting Ancho Chiles, add all ingredients into food processor and puree. Marinade wings overnight, and prepare as usual.

You can do a second round of glazes if you reserve a little of the steeped ancho chicken stock aside before adding it to the the rest of the marinade....Take some of the ancho stock, mix it with some more honey....just before serving the wings, brush them with this mixture.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:39:15 AM
Sorry for double posting...But I just got this email about an event that sounds like it could be a great POF activity.


Here's a pre-Halloween event that will help local charity, donations helping Gleaners Food bank. They're looking for 'zombies' to take place in a charity walk that will be also taking place simultaneously around the country (& the world?).. So come down, dress up as a zombie/monster, bring some donated non-perishable food and/or cash (I think they take checks, too), and have a ghoul/good time!

The gathering place will apparently be near the Old Navy/Gap stores in Ferndale at 9 Mile & Woodward, there's a parking lot behind the stores along west 9 mile..

*******************************************
Information below from the website: zombiewalkdetroit.com

WHEN: Sunday, October 26th - Registration is at 3PM

Why register? We need EVERY ZOMBIE walking with us to sign in because this is going into the Guinness Book of World Records. It's not just our walk, but a total count of all zombies around the world who walk in solidarity on this day. Woo!

All we'll need is your name, and the city and state in which you live. You sign in, we stamp your hand, and then we walk. Simple dimple.


WHERE: Meet at the parking lot just NORTH of 9 Mile (behind 9 mile businesses) just WEST of Woodward.

WHY: We'll be walking to raise awareness about world hunger, and to raise food and funds for Gleaners to help needy families who live right here in Michigan.

HOW: Whether you're walking or not, please bring a few cans of food to the walk. More if you're able! Spectators (at least the ones who know in advance) and photographers, this means you, please! Food, funds, or both! Thanks!

WALKERS: Print out a PLEDGE SHEET by clicking here to open it as a PDF. Simply ask friends, family and co-workers to help feed hungry families in Michigan by sponsoring your walk. We've made it easy for you by including that info right on the pledge form. We're good like that.

They can pledge a total of $5, $10... even $5,000. Whatever amount they'd like. Every penny goes to the food banks.

Cash is fine, but any checks should be made payable to Gleaners.
All monetary donations are tax deductible.
*****************************************************************

again, Sunday, October 26th - Registration is at 3PM

for more info, contact the organizers at zombiewalkdetroit@gmail.com
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Other POF event ideas?
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:26:49 AM
I'm one of those that voted for more non-bar events...personally, one of the reasons I got involved in online dating is because I don't like noisy bars.

I like pubs and places where the music is not so loud as to inhibit communication.

The Detroit Institute of Arts Friday Night Live Events are great, there's music and different activities in various galleries....We just would need a way to link up initially...But I bet you if we contacted the DIA, they would even help us with that...maybe provide a central area to meet....or help us with coming up with a pof nametag for the night...

I live in Port Huron, but during the week I commute to Detroit, so I'd be more apt to attend a Weekday or Friday night event between Detroit and Port Huron, than I would be to drive out of the PH area on the weekends (I spend between an hour and hour and a half each way a day in the car, so I am less willing to drive out of town on weekends...That's another reason I haven't come put to events in the exoburbs on weekends.

If anyone is interested in coming up to the thumb area, we have corn mazes, cider mills and even a semi-pro hockey team...I bet we could get discount rates for a game night, and then something over at the sportsbar nextdoor postgame.

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Men over 35 waiting too long to have a family...could this be you?
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:42:21 AM
Greg, and That guy, you both have valid points to why you didn't have kids, they are similar to my reasons...But have you looked at some of the threads on here? (I wanted to find a couple of the examples I posted on a couple years back)

There are several people on here who believe that because we're over "x" age and childless (or never been married) that we are either secretly gay, selfish, unable to have healthy relationships, and the list of our disfunctions goes on and on....

Rather than looking at us as smart people who wanted to be more "stable" financially or emotionally before bringing kids into this world, many of the women on here see us as flawed.

This is one of the answers I posted on one of those threads....I copied it to a word doc...I wish I could have found the original thread that called us "shelfish."



I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me because I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be over 40 and
never been married.

Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..

Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature twit who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too?

Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???

And who carry enough baggage with them to fill at least 2 U-Hauls.

Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...

Usually one if not both of us agreed that we just weren't the ones for each other for the long haul.

There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Hunting Season – A Wild Game and Native Dinner
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:14:26 AM
All in all is sounds amazing. I would have loved to have partaken in the repast, and listened to the stories.

Reading about your venison stew reminds me of something that I have noticed in cooking some ancient or antique recipes.... I have cooked several dishes including the stew in the funerary feast of King Midas (if you aren't familiar with it check out this link)

[url]http://www.museum.upenn.edu/new/research/Exp_Rese_Disc/Mediterranean/Midas/intro.shtml[/url]

There is even a commercial beer based on an analysis of the dregs found in the urns in the crypt, it is called Midas Touch by the Brewery Dogfish head.

I've also done some recipes that were supposedly traced back to the renaissance period.

What I've noticed is that often the recipes are extremely bland and under flavored, or under spiced. Or they simply taste different to what we in the 21st century are used to food tasting like.

(The Dogfish head "beer" is a prime example, it tastes like neither a beer, nor a wine, nor a mead, yet it contains elements of all three beverages in it.)

There's been some interesting studies on the history of how our taste buds have evolved over time, especially how the introduction of processed "convenience" food in the 50's on has really stunted us.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 165 (view)
 
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:31:19 AM
Well biologically my father had me when he was 47 and my mom was 42 and that was *ahem* 43 years ago and a time when that was rare. And my brother in law became a father for the first time @ 50 or so, and my sister was in her 40's, and that was 17 years ago, and it was a lot less of a shock/medical issue...

And do to all manner of life stuff, I haven't had kids....though I want to, but I have kind of resigned myself to it not happening, in fact I switched from "wanting kids (1-2)" to "Open to the possibility" because of this....it's not a total deal breaker for me anymore, although sometimes it is, I go back and forth on it.

So personally I'm not worried about my ability for my "fishes to swim upstream," it's just finding a partner who want to. Most women in their 40's have done it and aren't interested...so that would mean someone in their 30's. But to be honest I haven't found many mid-late 30's who shares the same values and interests as I do.

It's funny, in my late 20's I didn't want to have kids, in fact I seriously considered have "the operation" to make it not possible....Looking back, and knowing how I feel know, I'm so glad I didn't make that decision. I'm still childless....but at least the potential is there.

I've been told by most of the women who I have dated who have kids, that I would make a great father....
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Mexican Food in the Southwest & Mexico
Posted: 10/2/2008 4:44:41 PM
Okay gang I need some help...This thread's been dead for awhile, and it's time for you experts to give me any advice, hints tips and recipes for making shredded beef for tacos.

I've never done it before. I always thought you used skirt steak like in making cuban ropa vieja. But upon looking online it appears people slow cook roasts.

I would like to do this saturday or sunday.

So help a fella out willya?

By the way I am planning to try that taqueteria that I mentioned a few weeks back, it's in the back of a small mercado, and is only open on friday, sat & sunday, so I'm considering heading there after work tomorrow...

Al Pastor I hope, I hope!!!!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is it okay to ask a recently divorced man out?
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:43:59 PM
Unless you want to ride a rollercoaster, then I wouldn't until he's been divorced 6 months to a year.

Many divorced people are not ready to be involved in another romantic relationship right away, and more than likely are not aware of it themselves.

When I counsel someone going through a divorce or recently seperated, I recommend that they take a minimum 6 months, but preferably 1 year from the date the divorce is final before they even contemplate dating, I usually have them circle that date on the calendar as their date day...

Then I recommend that they spend that time healing and more importantly building their new life that is separate from the life they led with their former spouse.

The healing part is important because quite frankly it is unfair to inflict their fresh raw wounds on anyone who gets involved romantically with them. Why do you think most "rebounds" fall apart...and it is not really fair to the new guy or woman who tries to get close to them, and usually ends up with one or both getting hurt???

I have my "clients' make a list of 5-10 things that they wanted to do either before or while they were married, that for whatever reason never got to do..and to spread them across the months and to do them one at a time....I've had lists be as simple as riding a roller coaster, to as extravagant as backpacking through Europe..

I also encourage them to join clubs, take up hobbies, go back to school, or take adult ed classes in things they are interested in, to keep them busy and also to open thems selves up to a broader circle of friends who are share the same interests, especially since often friends that they had as a couple suddenly up and vanish when one partner divorces another...

Also if needed I recommend a divorce support group, but I'm reluctant to unless I know people in the group..Because sometimes some support groups become nothing but a lifetime trash session about the other spouse and no support or healing gets done if you stay stuck in that mindspace...

So doing these things helps to keep the loneliness at bay, keeps them busy in the evenings when they would normally be with their spouses...and also down the line, when they're truly ready, they're also in a circle that may be a potential dating pool down the line, or someone may know someone... makes it a hellofa lot easier to actually date down the line...

This time is also about building an identity of who the divorcee truly wants to be, not someone they had to be in the marriage...And also to start living their dreams...

If anyone has ever dated a recently divorced or separated person, then you've probably ended up in a argument with them where something like this was yelled at you "Quit trying to make me into something I'm not...My ex Husband/wife tried to do it for x number of years that's why we're not together (or I left his monkey ass)....The newly divorced person really needs to come into their own as a seperate individual.

Another thing that happens is that the person dating the divorced person will say something, often innocently and the divorcee blow up for no apparent reason...It's usually a case that when you said it the person heard the "voice" of their ex (perhaps he/she used the same statement to critisize, or used a similiar tone of voice), and it triggured the un released rage now no longer held back in the marriage all over the poor new person...

These are the things that need to be gone through...it's part of the natural grieving process, and bringing a new person into relationship during that time interrupts and buries the grief process (in a flow of endorphins better served by chocolate icecream than another personality added to the mix) and it will eventually come out in the new relationship...And grieving and rebuilding takes time usually about a year...

Of course a lot of people don't do this and jump right into a brand spanking new relationship...and usually 3-6 months later they're in my office again crying because he/she left them...And they just don't know why??? (Some I can get away with saying that it is because they dumped their unhealed crap onto the poor sap, and no one would want to put up with that for very long.)

"So what about sex?" they usually ask me...I tell them very bluntly that the hand or vibrator isn't a bad thing to do.

Again it's not fair to set somebody else up for a broken heart, while yours is still broken. And that what inevitably happens, especially to the one dating the person going through the separation...They're getting what they think they want, attention and connection, but they usually AREN'T able or ready to give the "innocent" man or woman dating them, what THEY want...commitment, love, no baggage, sanity, etc.

Most people who do what I suggest eventually end up dating, and a lot of them are successful, some later remarry...A surprising number after the first year is over still don't date, not because they are afraid to, but because they're having too much fun living their lives for the first time in a lot of years, and really don't want not to feel free ever again..

A lot of immediate divorced people say they'll never trust again, not after the divorce but after they get their heart broken a second time from the rebound relationship...which they don't realize they've unconsciously caused themselves because deep inside they were not themselves ready to date....

But they jumped in anyway because they were afraid of being alone....that's why I recommend taking classes, joining clubs and stuff...so they wont be alone...they really don't need a new partner...just some new friends, and there's plenty of other ways to make friends, that don't involve dating, and potentially hurting someone...

I know this not just professionally, but from experience as well. Because I have been "hurt" by giving my heart away to people who weren't really ready to be in a relationship yet. I now will not date a woman, recently separated, nor will I date one who has been divorced for less than a year...I respect my heart more than that...

Everyone in it, and many of you reading this who will get po'ed will say, "Well MY situation is different." Sorry to say, no it's not...It MAY seem unique to you. But if you sit day in and day out in a professional setting, counseling people, we hear a countless variations of the same basic story day in and day out, AND they rarely turn out any different then the scenario I outlined above.....We have sheer numbers on our side that back this up....If you love that person, and s/he loves you...trust it and set a date for coffee a year from now...Encourage them to find a "life." And let thrm go...if it is meant to be, it will be, and at the right time...if not, then it was for the best.

So, if a person's been divorced a year or more, and has made a conscious effort to "heal and deal" and are truly ready to share themselves in a healthy and baggage free way. Then they are no different then anyone on here, looking for love, and deserving of it.

But it's when the person is still carrying their ex in their head, or it is just plain too soon, that gets us all in trouble....

So it's your choice, but just be aware that in all likelihood you will be the re-bound.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 697 (view)
 
People who just write how are you
Posted: 10/2/2008 9:01:05 AM
Does anyone else find it kind of annoying to receive an email and all it says is "how are you?" and nothing else? I don't know, it just seems to me that, if you're going to send an email, at least write more than one phrase. I don't know, what do you think? Guys, if you've done this, I'd suggest you stop, it's pretty annoying.


Women do it too...And it's usually a person with a profile with no picture and very little information in the profile, to give any indication if there's any shared interests.

I usually end up hitting read/delete, although sometimes I'll answer "fine," but really that ends the communication. If there's little to go with, either on profile or in email then what else can we do?

When I make an initial contact, I will usually mention something I saw in their profile, and usually ask if they are familiar with something similar....Which sometimes leads to a dialogue. But even then, if the answers are short, and no additional responses/ questions are forthcoming, then that usually is the train wreck point, and I end up not having anything else to say to them.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Men over 35 waiting too long to have a family...could this be you?
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:50:47 AM

I think you really ought to ask the young men in their 20s how this impacts their decisions on dating and relationships. They've still got the choice to have kids under 35.


It's funny, in my late 20's I didn't want to have kids, in fact I seriously considered have "the operation" to make it not possible....Looking back, and knowing how I feel know, I'm so glad I didn't make that decision. I'm still childless....but at least the potential is there.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Men over 35 waiting too long to have a family...could this be you?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:37:22 AM

Question is, (for men and women) how does this new research impact your predicament of having waited so long to have children? Maybe I need to ask, how does this impact older men when searching for that special someone to start a family with?


Good questions....Well biologically my father had me when he was 47 and my mom was 42 and that was *ahem* 43 years ago and a time when that was rare. And my brother in law became a father for the first time @ 50 or so, and my sister was in her 40's.

And do to all manner of life stuff, I haven't had kids....though I want to, but I have kind of resigned myself to it not happening, in fact I switched from "wanting kids (1-2)" to "Open to the possibility" because of this....it's not a total deal breaker for me anymore, although sometimes it is, I go back and forth on it.

So personally I'm not worried about my ability for my "fishes to swim upstream," it's just finding a partner who want to. Most women in their 40's have done it and aren't interested...so that would mean someone in their 30's. But to be honest I haven't found many mid-late 30's who shares the same values and interests as I do.

So that is more of an issue/worry about finding someone for me than any medical study.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Has anyone heard of/ tried reiki to aid the grieving process?
Posted: 10/2/2008 6:21:08 AM
Glad the session went well for you!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Hunting Season – A Wild Game and Native Dinner
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:10:38 AM
Salmon, I'll wait with baited breath for your "long note," though I can't guarantee that after two days of holding bait in my mouth, you'd want to get that close to me.

I've posted this in a couple threads, but here's the marinade I did for the backstraps.


It is based around a simple Ancho/Chipotle Puree

6 Ancho Chili Pods, stems and seeds removed
1-3 chipotle peppers with adobe sauce still coating it.
2 cups Chicken Stock

To make the Ancho/chipotle Puree:
Soak Chilis in very hot Chicken Stock until they reconstitute (about 15 to 20 minutes).
Allow to cool. Pour mixture into a food processor or blender along with the chipotle peppers (in adobo, and as many as you like....I usuallu use only 2 or 3)

puree until smooth.

(I often make the puree and freeze it in small ziplock bags, then thaw it as needed for a recipe.)

The rest of it...
2 tablespoons of chopped garlic
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Cumin
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Black Pepper
1/8 teaspoon (or to taste) dried Thyme

I just dumped everything in a baggie with the steaks and let it sit overnight.

For the Acorn beer, I was thinking of doing a variation of a recipe for a pecan beer where the pecans were roasted and then added to the mash...

BUT I just found this interesting article that states that ground acorns can replace malted barley....and that is what the pilgrims used in place of it for beer...

http://www.5seasonsbrewing.com/?q=node/84

Interesting....
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Hunting Season – A Wild Game and Native Dinner
Posted: 10/1/2008 6:42:54 AM
Aurora, Salmon.....This discussion is just making my keyboard slobbery from my mouth watering so much.


After reading these recipes I feel like I "wasted" some venison I was given by marinading it in my ancho/chipotle marinade...Even though it it was amazing on the grill, these recipes sound even better.

You also got me thinking about using some acorns in homebrewing, perhaps in a nut brown ale, or something.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Grains Of Paradise
Posted: 10/1/2008 6:14:27 AM
Oh cool...then welcome to the brother/sisterhood of the brewer...

As we say welcome to your new hobb...er I mean, OBSESSION!



If you ever have any questions or need some info let me know!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Has anyone heard of/ tried reiki to aid the grieving process?
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:12:54 PM
'carver....you'll be fine, a lot of it in the "clinical setting" (as opposed to the workshop setting) is about relaxation... SO try to relax until then.

It will be good. You'll get to let go of some of the crap you are feeling.

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Has anyone heard of/ tried reiki to aid the grieving process?
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:48:29 PM
I am/ or was a level 2 Reiki practitioner. I used to use it when I worked with several therapists putting on some intense personal growth workshops a few years back. These were the kind of workshops that crammed 6 months of therapy into a long weekend...needless to say there was a lot of emotional processing going on, grief, anger, confronting fears, etc...When someone was about to "pop" (about to have a breakthrough) or was blocked they'd often call me over to do Reiki to on the person...Often they'd get several assistants to lift the person up while lying on their back, and I'd literally be on the floor under them like an auto mechanic changing oil on a car...only I'd be pulling "black stuff" from them...

It's also being used in several major cancer clinics across the country as part of either their "complementary medicine" or pain management departments.

Also I cant recommend enough to people going through break ups a book by Daphne Rose Kingma, called "Coming apart; why relationships end, and how to live through the ending of yours." It's like the bible of healing breakups...It helped me years ago, and I have used it when working with people going through breakups...

look her up on her wenbsite...do a search...you can also order her book from amazon
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Grains Of Paradise
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:20:38 PM
Actually look for a homebrewing/winemaking shop, either local or online...Look in your city, for homebrewing or beermaking supplies...there's usally at least one or 2 in most cities, though they may be tiny.

online look for Austin Homebrew Supply, Midwest Supply, or Northern Brewer they are the three largest and most reputable online beer making suppliers.

Grains of Paradise are an important ingredient in many wheat beers, so small packets of G.O.P. can be found for 2-3 dollars a couple ounce packet, at nearly every shop, and for sure online.

I actually thought this was going to be a beermaking thread for a second..I know GOP is a spice, but I've never actually come upon a food recipe that calls for them.

Oh you're in new jersey?

I just googled homebrew shops, and these came up, are you near any of these cities?

# Clifton: Corrado's
# Freehold: The Brewer's Apprentice
# Jackson: K and R Enterprises
# Montague: The Wine Experience at Westfall
# Toms River: Oceans of Wine Supply, Inc.
# Turnersville: Beercrafters


(these shops have websites as well it looks like)
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Hunting Season – A Wild Game and Native Dinner
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:47:02 AM
SmilingSalmon,

They say the way to a man's heart is through their stomach...and it's funny that in past relationships, I'm usually the one who is the better cook, the much better cook.

But I think I love you!!!!!!



And this is not simply because you are gorgeous and can cook....oh wait, yes it is.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
I have a friend who says people on dating sites have something to hide...
Posted: 9/29/2008 4:29:33 PM
I have nothing to hide..in fact if you read my profile you see how open and transparent I try to be. In all facets of my life.

I use a dating site because in a modern society where for the most part all we do is work, where we barely even know our neighbors, where many of us are tired of the bar scene, and where most of us spend way too much time online anyway (for shopping, getting our news, for entertainment, & for social connection, like on forums like this), it's much easier, and less time consuming to post a profile and hope someone is interested in what I put their.

It cuts out a lot of BS and false starts, that would take a couple of conversations to realize that we have different values, ideals, and goals. I see it as seperating the wheat from the chaff...If a woman reads my profile and see what I am about and is interested, then there at least one "dance" that is already done. The same with me, when I decide to write to someone, it's because some of our interests are the same, and there's probably some clue that we share the same philosophies and values as well...

It's like reading the menu by the door of the restaurant before you decide to go in...You get to see what's being offered before the maitre de seats you, and THEN you see there's nothing you have a taste for.

Tell your friend it's the 21st century...Just like we rarely go into a bookstore, library, department store, record store, or buy a newspaper or magazine any more, our lives are more and more driven by , or connected via, electronic technology and the internet. And just like the I-tune virtual store replaces Sam the Record Man, dating site are replacing the singles bar.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
why do people cheat?
Posted: 9/29/2008 4:11:16 PM
People cheat because they are selfish, AND they are chickens....They are not happy with their situation, and they are too selfish to do anything to improve it..and even more so they are the biggest chickensh*ts around, they don't have the guts to end the situation they are in, and cut the other person lose, for whatever reason...so instead they decide to have their cake and eat it too....

They are too afraid to give up what they already have, no matter if it doesn't fill all their needs, so they prey on another person's love or desire to be love.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Buenelo (sp?)
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:40:34 AM
Are you talking about Sopapilla or Buenelo? Buenelo's DON'T use pre packaged/pre cooked tortillias.

1 cinamon stick, broken into pieces
1-1/3 cups water
3 cups sifted flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup firmly packed vegetable shortening or lard
vegetable oil for deep frying
2/3 cup sugar mixed with 1-1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

To make cinnamon tea, simmer cinnamon and water in a small heavy saucepan 20 minutes.

Mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Cut in the shortening with pastry blender until texture resembles coarse meal. Add 3/4 cup hot cinnamon tea, tossing with fork until dough comes together. If too dry (pastry should be similar to pie dough, toss in a little more cinnamon tea. Cover; refrigerate1 hour.
Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface. Knead until smooth and satiny, about 5 minutes. Pinch off small chunks of dough and roll into 1-inch balls. Cover balls; let rest at room temperature 30 minutes.
Pour vegetable oil into large deep skillet to a depth of 2 to 2-1/2-inches. Insert deep-fat thermometer. Heat until oil reaches 380F.
Working with one dough ball at a time, flatten on floured surface with a rolling pin; roll to a circle as thin as piecrust, 5 inches across.
Fry buenelo 1 at a time in oil until crisp and golden brown on both sides, about 3 minutes. Adjust heat as needed to keep temperature of oil between 380F - 400F. With slotted spoon, lift buenelo to paper towelling to drain. While still hot sprinkle buenelo generously with cinnamon sugar.

Makes 2-1/2 dozen

If you are eating at a resteraunt then more than likely they drop all their tortillas fresh. Not re-cooking premade ones. Maybe that's why yours aren't coming out like you like...

Here's a sopapillas recipe that uses pre-made tortillas.

QUICK AND EASY SOPAPILLAS

1 cup butter
1/2 tablespoon of cinnamon sugar mixture
3 tortillas
1 tablespoon honey
1 oz. vegetable oil

Heat oil in a small skillet until hot. Melt butter in small microwavable dish-once melted add cinnamon sugar and honey

Fry 1 tortilla until bottom edge is golden brown then flip and do the other side. Repeat with other tortillas. Remove skillet from heat.

Pour out oil then add the butter mixture to the same skillet.

Soak one side then flip and repeat on other side.

Let cool for 3 minutes, then serve

But again it would taste better to be dropping fresh dough in hot oil....

MEXICAN SOPAPILLAS

1 pkg. dry yeast
1/4 c. lukewarm water
3/4 c. milk
6 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. butter
1 egg, beaten
3 c. flour
Approximately 2 inches cooking oil

Soften yeast in lukewarm water. Set aside.

Combine milk, sugar and salt. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Stir in butter. Allow to cool until lukewarm.

Stir in beaten egg and yeast mixture. Gradually add flour.

Work with hands if mixture becomes too thick to stir. Cover dough with a damp cloth and allow to rise until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours.

Punch down, turn out onto a lightly floured board, knead briefly until dough is smooth.

Cover and let rest for 15 minutes. Roll to about 1/2 inch thick square and cut with a 2 inch cookie cutter.

Heat oil to 350°F.

Cook sopapillas a few at a time, browning on one side, and turning only once. They will puff up.


 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Mexican Food in the Southwest & Mexico
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:12:25 PM
By the way Amigo, if you get your hands on any venison steaks, that ancho/chipotle makes for an amazing marinade. I did some backstraps overnight, and grilled them on Labor day...WOW!!!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Cooking and homemaking for one's self -- abnormal?
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:55:08 PM
I'm going to give you all one of my recipes, to show you an amazing dish that can be prepared and cooked in under 30 minutes...You could steam some frozen or fresh veggies, and cook some rice as a side, and you'll be all set... Or you can just eat this as is...


Salmon "Boats"

Here's a real strange one taught to me while I was in graduate school by a Nashville music producer (buddy of my house mate), who was taught it by no less than Jimmy Buffett himself.

It sounds really bizarre...but it is quite orgasmic!

Salmon steaks or a large piece of salmon cut into individual portions. (I usually use the flat salmon as opposed to the steaks, but they will both work)
Tinfoil
Bacon (raw), Proscuito or Serrano Ham
Red Wine
Dijon Mustard (yellow works fine)
Green Onions
Capers
Chopped Garlic
Fresh Pineapple and/or Mango (you could open a can or pineapple and use the rounds, and it would be fine as well)

Make little tinfoil "boats" a bit larger than the salmon...eg fold over and up a little "box" of foil about an inch and a half on each side larger that the fish...

Place on the bottom of the foil a couple of strips of salty meat (the bacon, or proscioutto)

Remove the skin on the bottom of the salmon (if there is any) and place the fish on it...add a tiny amount of chopped garlic...Pour a little splash of red wine onto it. Slice up a few green onions or scallions and drop a few on top...Place pineapple slices on top of the fish....or Mango or both...Now it gets strange...but gooooooddddd!!!

Drizzle a few squirts of your fave dijon or coarse brown mustard and a few capers on top of it all...splash on more red wine...Stick the boats onto the grill or in a medium/low oven (300-350 for 5-7 minutes) and cook until the fish flakes and the fruit softens...

Even better is to stick it under the boiler till the sugars in the fruit start to carmalize.

sounds really weird but the combination of flavors are incredible....
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Mexican Food in the Southwest & Mexico
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:13:03 PM
Depending on where Harley School is in Florida, you are better off cooking your own Mexican food, or hunting the elusive taco truck than relying on any restaurants for GOOD Mexican food...I think I mentioned at the beginning of the thread that the WORST Mexican restaurants I ever found were down in South Florida.

The worst ever was in Fort Myers or on Sanibel Island...Can't recall exactly where, except the food had absolutely no spices of any type....(including salt and pepper.)

The second and third worst Mexican Restaurants were in the West Palm/Lake Worth area.

Thank god for Cuban food down there though.

Some of the Best Mexican food I ever had was in Kansas City MO....At a joint (I believe a converted bowling alley) on Paseo Avenue called Mama Tios.

They do a tamale plate to die for, it is smothered in a chunky pork sauce (Think pork stew in a rich red sauce.) If you are really brave (or don't care about your arteries) you can get that covered it cheese....
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Mexican Food in the Southwest & Mexico
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:41:16 AM
Hey brother Damon, since it looks like you might get to be cooking for the Luscious Salmon, and the equally delicious beth, I figured I'd share my Ancho/Chipotle/Honey marinade/glaze....

It's guaranteed to even make armadillo adenoids tasty (though you'll have to tell me what it does to gonies.)

It is based around a simple Ancho/Chipotle Puree

6 Ancho Chili Pods, stems and seeds removed
1-3 chipotle peppers with adobe sauce still coating it.
2 cups Chicken Stock

To make the Ancho/chipotle Puree:
Soak Chilis in very hot Chicken Stock until they reconstitute (about 15 to 20 minutes).
Allow to cool. Pour mixture into a food processor or blender along with the chipotle peppers (in adobo, and as many as you like....I usuallu use only 2 or 3)

puree until smooth.

(I often make the puree and freeze it in small ziplock bags, then thaw it as needed for a recipe.)

The rest of it...

3 tablespoons Olive Oil
1 medium Onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 cup Tomato Puree
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Cumin
1/2 teaspoon (or to taste) Black Pepper
1/8 teaspoon (or to taste) dried Thyme
1 teaspoon (or to taste) Salt
3-4 tablespoons Honey


After reconstituting Ancho Chiles, add all ingredients into food processor and puree. Marinade meat overnight, and prepare as usual.

You can do a second round of glazes if you reserve a little of the steeped ancho chicken stock aside before adding it to the the rest of the marinade....Take some of the ancho stock, mix it with some more honey....just before serving the wings, brush them with this mixture.

I just did a pulled pork in a crock pot last weekend using a pork loin....it was amazing.

I've also used it with wings, and short ribs as well.



Oh, and in case the ladies care, I usually offer to cook on the second or third date.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Cooking and homemaking for one's self -- abnormal?
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:47:29 AM
Recipes and Ideas? Here's a few more...More for those lurkers who think cooking is expensive, time consuming and hard...

My favorite quick and dirty after 90 minute commute meal is "pseudo sushi." It's like shushi, except the fish is cooked and it's not rolled. The longest part is cooking the rice. But you can walk in the door, put that on the stove, then go change or shower and come back in 20 minutes.

Basically you cook up some sticky rice, and while the rice is cooking take a piece of frozen salmon and place it in a bowl, pour over some soysauce, garlic and white wine, and if you have some, some garlic black been paste. (Or you can skip the marinade and just use the salmon as is, or get some smoked salmon.)

When the rice is done, pull it off the stove and set it in the sink with some cold water in it to cool it off a bit.

Stick the salmon in the microwave for about 2 to 3 minutes 'til it looks cooked through.
Then I take a couple of Nori sheets and cut them in quarters, and make a little stack.

I then take and put the rice in a small bowl, put some soysauce in another and flake the cooked salmon into somewhat large chunks. I grab some pickled ginger and a little squeeze tube of wasabi, and make little seaweed "tacos" with the wasabi, rice, ginger and salmon.

The longest part of the process is cooking the rice. You can be eating this in 30 minutes.
But if you have some already cooked, and in the fridge, then all you need is to cook the salmon.

Nowadays all the ingredients can be found in the "international foods" aisle of any grocery store. Kroger has all those ingredients (the Nori, Ginger, sticky rice, garlic black bean paste and wasabi tubes in the asian section, right next to the La Choy Chop Suey cans.

I commute between 1 and 1 1/2 hours each way 5 days a week, so I know that feeling of getting in the door and wanting to nuke a bag of popcorn for dinner, or worse hit the drive through on the way home. But I don't buy the idea that eating a frozen dinner, fast food or eating out is cheaper, or less time consuming than cooking for one....

That's why I like to have a few ingredients like the stuff for the fake sushi, that can be done simply and quickly, and still be healthier than pre-packaged stuff. Having frozen salmon, and boneless skinless chicken breasts in the freezer are a couple staples. Plus having various condiments and salsa's, that can be used to whip up some sort of marinate or sauces. Things like jamaican or New Orleans, or mexican sauces, and that Asian Garlick Black bean dip I mentioned. (If you take a couple teaspoons of that and dilute it with some soy sauce, and either lemon juice, white wine, or chicken broth or all three, it makes for a great marinade.)

(You can "quick marinate" any frozen protein at the same time you thaw it in the microwave, btw. Just put the meat, chicken, or fish in a container and pour the marinade on it...as you use the thaw setting, it will draw some of the liquid into it. It's not as good as a real, long, marinade, but it works in a pinch.)

One of the things that I have gotten into lately is making mexican/asian fusion springrolls. I picked up some of those springroll wafers, that are the size of burrito wraps, and you soak them in warm water and they turn transparent.

You put a couple thawed chicken breasts in your food processor, then add whatever spices turn you on...I like corn and black been salsa. You pulse the chicken breasts for a couple seconds to grind them, the add half a jar of salsa and a fistfull of shredded cheese, and fold it once or twice to mix (if it seems to wet, add more cheese, or even an egg. Then soak a couple of those wraps in warm water. Lay one out and drop a few spoonfuls of the chicken goop in the center, and roll it like a burrito, but sealed on all sides.

Then steam them for 20 minutes, and they are tasty,filling, and healthy. (you can also do it with those little wonton squares, but for quick and big, using the large communion wafer sheets works best.

Again, all that entails in dumping and pulsing and rolling, and can be done in 1/2 hour.
(The TV show 30 minute meals is a must see, for inspiration.

Other good things to have are frozen stir fry veggie, and any kind of mixed frozen veggies, they can be used in so many ways...as a side, or in a main dish like a stir fry.

Another tip...if you want some good, and healthier pre-made frozen dinners/ingredients, go to your nearest Trader Joes, their pre-packaged stuff is amazing. They even have these premarinated meats and chickens that are to die for...and their prices are no more than what you'd pay for those bistro thingys, except you get more of it for your money.


Also, If anyone wants I have these recipes of mine online at various sites, if anyone wants them, I can cut and paste them anywhere.. (These are some of my more time consuming dishes.)

Pan Seared Duck
Salmon "Boats" (A recipe taught to me by someone taught by Jimmy Buffet)
Spaghetti Pie ( a great cook ahead and freeze recipe)
BEST Chiles Relleno's ever
Braised Pork Tenderloin in Pear/Rosemary/Onion/ Garlic sauce.
Quick and Dirty Jamaican Meat Pies
Asian/Indian Fusion Tilapia
"Peaches and Cream" Pork Loin
Senegalese Chicken
All purpose Spicy Korean Marinade
All purpose Ancho/chipotle/honey marinade.

 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Mexican Food in the Southwest & Mexico
Posted: 9/23/2008 9:13:31 AM
Lengua, I'll do, but I'd rather not think about it too much while eating it....Seso's? Nah....There's a couple of organs I'll stay away from, and that's one. ("Mountain Oysters" are another.)
 
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