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Thread: Do all women change 100% after committment is achieved?

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Do all women change 100% after committment is achieved? Posted: 7/8/2009 6:23:07 PM
I went throught the same thing when I was married, all the fun things we used to do suddenly stopped and all the things we talked about doing, he suddenly had no interest in them either. It was as if I was with somebody totally different and anything that I did to get those feelings back with him, he made no effort. It was as if he could treat me like crap and I was supposed to take it as we were married so I wasn't going to go anywhere. You can only take being a stranger in your marriage for just so long. When they won't take your feelings and thoughts seriously, then perhaps it's time to ask yourself that question, "are you better off with them, or without them?" And if you're even happy in the relationship? Look at the wider picture....the future and your happiness.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Women's Favorite/Least Favorite Conversation Topics Posted: 7/8/2009 6:10:02 PM
So, women don't have any real intellectual interests????? And guys do???? When ever I chat with a guy online, one of the first things they want to chat about is sex and if you'll have sex with them on the first date or by the second or third date...just to see if you'll be "compaitble" with them...yeah right, do they really think women are that stupid? And "hopes and aspirations" is code for the man's income....it is?????? Unlike guys who ask what your job is, is code for how much money do you make.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

What lessons have you learned from online dating? Posted: 7/8/2009 5:54:55 PM
That for some reason most guys seem to think they're incerdibly hot and that ALL women want them regardless of how THEY look and expect women to look like they stepped out of some Victoria's Secret catalog...Think: Fat guy in a vehicle with a bumper sticker that says "no fat chicks"....get real people Oh, and don't bother lying because eventually the truth will come out and someone ends up getting hurt, regardless of you not caring, the other person does have a heart and has feelings.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

The same excuse time and time again Posted: 7/8/2009 5:36:58 PM
Yup, guys do and say the same thing, that and not even showing up and not even calling to cancel and the ever popular, "I'll call you" and never do

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

How far would you travel for a love affair? Posted: 7/2/2009 7:13:10 PM
I've tried the distance (1 - 2 1/2 hrs.) thing in the past a few times and it just never worked out. I always found out later that there were other girlfriends out there and worst yet, a wife! It's harder getting to know someone when you don't get to see them on a regular basis. Talking on the phone and e-mails simply don't cut it when really getting to know a person. NO offense now but.....comparing the POF guys to the Gov. of S.C. flying down to Argentina for his mistress, there isn't a really big comparison. I don't think a lot of high profile people with access to that kind of money and jet-setting are going to be hanging out here. Besides, with the governor, they probably met at some political party along the way or some other trendy get-together. Add to the fact he was married and cheating on his wife and the lies.....who wants that?????? NOT ME! But if a person won't travel a paltry 10 miles, that's pathetic and shows no effort towards a relationship. Ten miles is nothing unless he doesn't have a vehicle

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

Bad experience with pets Posted: 7/2/2009 6:53:39 PM
I have 2 siamese cats and one of them likes to check out the new person after a few visits by simply sniffing around them and walking across their laps when we're sitting down. With that I can also check to see if my date is receptive towards my "child" or if he simply ignores my pet (meaning he's not an animal/pet person). My pets are more well behaved then some peoples "human" kids. As far as horses go, stallions, and young stallions at that can be a bit uppity, so to speak and tend to need a strong & firm hand in control but not to be bullied, that can only get you into a fight that you could lose in a big way. Horses are large and need to be respected. If you've never been around them before, make it known to your friend and she should take the time to discuss them with you and introduce you to them slowly. Watch the interaction, you can tell a lot about people when they have pets. A good pet will be well behaved and won't have people issues like you experienced before. I have had all sorts of pets and have never had a dog or cat that peed on anything or anywhere then in their litterbox or outside.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

What you can tell by their eye color Posted: 7/2/2009 6:39:06 PM
My eyes are blue....some of the things said are true, some not....I have dated men who had different eye colors...some of the things are true, some not even close I don't think eye color determines ones personality...though I try to steer clear of those with hazel eyes, I've had the worst luck with those sorts and are NOTHING like their description here.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

what have you learned from previous relationships about choosing a partner? Posted: 7/2/2009 6:33:12 PM
"Holes" in their stories, excuses, etc...sure signs of lies and someone not being so honest about something

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 141 (view)

What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You? Posted: 6/21/2009 4:03:08 PM
If you stop and think about it, this is just a way of mentally abusing you first thing, as if you should be grateful this person is even bothering with you. Staying with someone who says things like this, you can count on hearing other degrading comments thrown in your face every chance they get. Mental abuse is just the start of worse things to come... GET AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 93 (view)

Marriages Fatal Flaw Posted: 6/21/2009 3:56:19 PM
Yet for evidence for the "chicks dig jerks" brigade! Do you really think that if women knew ahead of time that guys are jerks that we would even give them the time of day??????? Ever occur to you that a lot of guys are very good at their games of hiding who they really are????? For those people with multiple divorces, it's obvious these people are good at their lies and games.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You? Posted: 6/11/2009 11:04:21 AM
Smile...then order a bottle of Crystal champagne, when it arrives, take the bottle with you and leave his loser ass sitting there....alone!

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Marriages Fatal Flaw Posted: 6/11/2009 10:54:40 AM
When I wanted my divorce, all I could think of was just ending it and I didn't ask a thing from him...neither did his previous TWO wives. They must have felt the same as I did, they just wanted to be rid of him. Though if I had a chance to go through it again, I would have asked for alimony. Even if it was $5.00 a month, I knew that alone would have pissed him off royally. It was bad enough he had a daughter from his first marriage, and soon after he had a vasectomy and in one years time was going through his first divorce. As soon as wife #1 remarried a year later, he was quick to sign off on adoption papers for his daughter to her new step father that really wanted her. What better way to avoid being responsible then to just give up your kid and wash your hands of her. His second marriage, the woman had two kids, so for her to land a husband who didn't care about her kids, he must have looked like a prize....though he didn't care about adopting her kids through the 10 years they were married. She didn't ask anything from him either, not even alimony. Though he claimed how much he missed the kids....yeah right! Then along came me, never really cared about being married and being in my very early thirties, I must have looked desperate enough to put up with his crap, since I hadn't been married before. With his vasectomy I saw no reason to get married. He filled my head with the possibilities of adoption and even the chance his vasectomy could be reversed, as "his doctor told him it could be". And when the minister talked to us before agreeing to do the ceromony and asked him about his 2 previous divorces, he stated he "liked being married"......of course he did, the lazy slug, every thing was done for him. Plus he owed some money to his parents and I was about to come into some money myself. Yes, I paid his parents off, they were gracious enough and said thank you...he didn't. In the end he cheated and lied and tried to blame me for it. And when I said I wanted a divorce, he wasted NO time getting a lawyer just so he could file against me and make me out to be the bad person and him the injured party...just like he did in divorces 1 & 2. Now with him being three times divorced, I heard from his family that he's planning on marriage #4....that poor woman! I think after 3 divorces it should be mandatory that the ex's get together with the intended and let them know what they're in for. For it's easy to blame to other after one failed marriage, after that, they need to take a good long look in the mirror to where the fault really is.... But that's my spin on marriage. You have to be honest, if you're not, you can count on things falling apart, it's just a matter of time. So stop and think of the other persons feelings. My marriage was doomed from the very beginning and had no chance to survive, it takes two to keep it going strong. Marriage is not a one way street with one doing all the giving and the other doing all the taking.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Photos Posted: 6/11/2009 10:12:30 AM
Sounds familar. Nothing worse then meeting someone who claimed their pic was "just" taken....which explains why you didn't recognize them Sad thing is they usually just laugh it off or say it was a test to see if you're shallow or accepting of them no matter what.....for me, it has nothing to do with being shallow or accepting, it's about being HONEST and TRUTHFUL. Afterall, if they lie and mislead with a photo, age, etc... what else are they lying about and misleading you on?????

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!! Posted: 6/11/2009 9:56:27 AM
Good question! I've been asking the same thing for years. I'm sure someone will say you're just picking the wrong guys...well DUH. If we knew ahead of time they were the wrong guys then we wouldn't waste our time on them. Nothing worse then getting involved with someone who claim they want a serious relationship and vow that they are ready and not a player. Then when you have your heart and time invested into the relationship...out of the blue you're hearing how they changed their mind, they're suddenly not ready, they don't know what they want..... blah, blah,blah. I wish I had answer to this life-long question. As one person put it, "men are dogs"...which is a cruel thing to compare a dog to that sort of person. Afterall, dogs can be very loyal and love you unconditionally and the only games they care to play is chasing a ball around and chewing on toys.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Marriage v LTR Posted: 6/11/2009 9:47:11 AM
If one has been through a divorce then you know how long and drawn out the process can take. Getting out of a bad marriage takes a whole lot longer then just breaking up with someone. Lawyers are involved, things have to be divided up, and if there's kids and/or a home, plan on adding some YEARS before the divorce is wrapped up. And there is a LOT of emotional issues that comes from having everything drawn out over years to be rid of a "bad" spouse.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

Just plain UGLY Posted: 4/5/2009 5:11:09 PM
Face it, there's a LOT of cruel, insensitive, ignorant jerks in the world. I've been on the receiving end of some cruel messeges as well, as far as being called a dyke, lesbian, etc... all because I have short hair. I'm not about to change my hair to suit someone's perception of how a woman should wear her hair to prove her sexuality. And yes, I'm very much straight and always will be.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Stood up...this sucks! Was it me??! Posted: 4/5/2009 5:05:02 PM
Did you try calling him to see what happened? It was really immature and inconsiderate of hime not to call you to let you know he couldn't make it. Everybody has access to a phone and there's NO excuse for not calling you. Even if a family emergency comes up, which seems to happen a LOT, hint, hint.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

unlikely prospects?? Posted: 4/5/2009 4:53:19 PM
Try looking into a "Parents Without Partners" chapter if there's one in or nearby where you live. Technically you are a "parent". And there they won't discriminate and run for you being a single "parent". Something could lead to dating if not for making friends with other adults. Good luck

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 220 (view)

Why are so many women over 30 Cynical Posted: 4/5/2009 4:01:19 PM
Call it what you want, but...perhaps women, and yes, men...just get tired of the hurt, the pain, the cheating, the lies, the games...that comes from dating and/or bad marriages. It's not just picking the wrong person. Afterall, if they were known to be the wrong person in the first place, we wouldn't even date them. Some people are just good at hiding who they really are, only for their nasty true colors surface after dating for awhile, but not before someone gets hurt. As far as it hitting women after age 30, it's because by that time many of us have been hurt several times and have grown tired of the process.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Why do men feel they have to show there private parts to woman on line with out asking persmission? Posted: 4/5/2009 3:52:56 PM
This act is so pathetic and if done in public they would be arrested for indecent exposure. For some stupid reason these poor excuses for men seem to think it's ok to do so because it's "just chat". And if you complain about this act they call you a prude and to lighten up. Obviously these so-called men have nothing more to offer and are simply insecure and immature to the point where they're still thinking with this "part of their body". In short, these guys are only after one thing and proves how totally lacking in class they truly are.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 117 (view)

Guys asking to meet with you immediately Posted: 5/14/2008 4:34:06 PM
Guys who asked to meet so soon pretty much scared me off. I want to get to know them better first if it's an online thing. Exchange recent pictures, chat, e-mail, etc... then eventually move on to exchanging phone numbers if all goes well previously and there are NO red flags. If they have a problem with that as to meeting first thing, there's your first warning. They're not taking your feelings into consideration. A woman has the right to be careful, there's a LOT of looney-tune guys out there and you can't be too careful.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 210 (view)

why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married?? Posted: 5/14/2008 4:28:08 PM
They want someone to pick up where their last woman left off. Men that are that desperate simply want another woman around to do the work they don't like to do...cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... The typical "maid chores" or a second mom to take care of them. Some men really need to live on their own for a while and learn to take care of themselves.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Inviting self over night Posted: 5/14/2008 4:21:54 PM
Sounds like he's after only one thing...sex. When they start talking about spending the night so soon, even before you even kissed, they're only out to get laid. If you give in to his request, don't count on seeing him again anytime soon. Unless it's to spend the night and make a quick exit in the morning again.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 123 (view)

Is This Considered Cheating ??? Posted: 5/14/2008 4:14:50 PM
If they think their spouses would be upset over this...and I do think they would be....then yes, this is a form of cheating. There dosen't have to be actual physical touching for it to be cheating. You can bet this would be something they wouldn't tell their spouses about.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Response to what is your profession.... Posted: 4/9/2008 3:58:54 PM
I don't like it when people ask me about my job first thing either, it sends the message that they're mainly concerned what my job is, as in how much money you make and they're sizing you up based on your job. You may as well just ask what their income is and be done with it! If they list hobbies and interests, talk about them. Take the time to get to know them that way and not by way of their wallets/purses. In time professions will come up, but do so gradually. Maybe they don't have a good job and think they'll be judged on that.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

When someone points out that you're old.. Posted: 4/9/2008 3:51:45 PM
Tell them "Welcome to the real world and that time will come for them as it has, and does, for all of us". And if they still don't get it, tell them to go play in the sandbox with the rest of the kiddies.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 244 (view)

middle aged & multiple divorced- a red flag or not? Posted: 4/9/2008 3:41:54 PM
Multiple divorces are a MAJOR RED FLAG WARNING for any age. I learned the hard way when I married a man who had been divorced twice before. A one time divorce is easy to point a finger in the other direction to lay the blame on, but someone who's been divorced more than once needs to take a good long look in the mirror to see where the problem is and take some responsibility. My ex has now been divorced 3 times and like everything else, refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. It's just not right to be married that many times and think nothing of throwing their marriage away as if it were nothing. For the longest time after my divorce, the thought of getting married again NEVER crossed my mind. It was something I had no interest in doing ever again. But now that I've met a wonderful, loving and caring man, I can't say I feel the same way.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 331 (view)

Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship? Posted: 4/9/2008 3:30:45 PM
Of course and I have. I was using a few dating sites and have since closed my accounts. I'm still with POF simply for the Forums and I have it in my profile that I am currently dating and have No desire to date anybody else. With POF you can't say you're just looking for friends without having to choose male or female for your friends.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

What if your SO became disabled/chrnic condition Posted: 4/9/2008 3:23:18 PM
I've recently started to date a wonderful man whom I knew back in high school though he was a few grades ahead of me. Two years ago he had a stroke that affected is right side and is now disabled to a certain degree. I didn't let his disability stop me from from truely getting to know him. He's a very caring and loving man and I treasure every moment with him. He was married at the time of his stroke, and his then wife, decided it was a good time to cheat on him. I'll never figure out how people can be so damn mean, cruel and selffish......her loss, my gain!

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

The gift that keeps on Giving Posted: 3/13/2008 2:11:06 PM
Like any gift that's given and you happen not to be overly interested in them. Be gracious and thank them. Usually people send these cyber gifts AFTER chatting and getting to know one another first. But either way the best thing to do is just say Thank You.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

using keys as weapons Posted: 3/13/2008 2:06:29 PM
A deffinite strategy for control. A similiar thing happened to me just ONE time. It was my car and as soon as I put the car in park he reaches across and takes my keys for "safe keeping". He started drinking and when it came time to leave he wanted to drive. He got in the car first and locked me out and said he'd only let me in if I said he could drive. After several minutes of arguing, I agreed. As soon as he unlocked the door I got in and took the keys out of the ignition. He became angry and started beating on me. Luckily some people saw him and yanked him out of my car and tossed his ass to the ground. His ass was gone right then and there! When I first saw the title of this thread I was thinking of something else. Like actually using your keys as a weapon, which can be done to protect yourself. Place the key(s) between your fingers and make a fist so the keys are protruding out between your knuckles. This is helpful if you're out alone walking in a parking garage or parking lot or anywhere you may feel you could be attacked.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Number of Contenders Posted: 3/13/2008 12:37:06 PM
Call me old fashioned but I don't keep a string for back up. I date one exclusively and they are the one I concentrate on and really try to get to know. If it's not meant to be it'll show eventually, but at least I know I gave it my all rather then just a fraction of myself.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

The little things... Posted: 3/13/2008 12:21:41 PM
A single rose rather than a dozen. Calling you in the middle of the day just to say I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. A picnic and walk on the beach. Enjoying a favorite movie cuddled on the couch while sharing a bowl of popcorn.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

negativity in profiles Posted: 2/20/2008 7:45:28 PM
There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and what you don't want and there's nothing wrong with posting it. That way there's no confusion and you're upfront with what you're looking and not looking for. Now about the pictures you're talking about. I've seen men post pictures of their genitals and such and then try to claim they're not just looking for sex....yeah right huh. Same goes for women, if you don't want people to automatically assume you're just looking for sex, then they need to "clean up" their pictures. This goes for men and women.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Honest about age Posted: 2/20/2008 7:33:22 PM
Hmmmm, I've seen a lot of men who aren't honest about their age either. So it's not just women. And if they lie about something as small as their age, chances are they're going to lie about even bigger things too. Lying gets you no where!

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Single for longer than you expected? Posted: 2/20/2008 7:28:04 PM
I've seen a LOT of game playing in men these days (I'm sure there are women who do the same so don't get your undies in a wad over what I just said). Afterall it's all over the TV and we know who watches a lot of TV so it's obvious they think it's ok for them to act the same way, only there's no laugh track in real life to cheer them on while they're bed hoping. They don't know what they want even when they claim to, that is until you suddenly hear, "I don't know what I want" and "I'm suddenly not ready for a real relationship" and "It's not you, it's me"etc.... Try putting in your profile that you're looking for a lasting and meaningful relationship and see what happens....NOTHING. Put in your profile that you're looking for no strings fun and chances are you'll be swamped with offers. Certainly says a lot about society now days huh. Sad.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 525 (view)

Are women marketable after age 30? Posted: 2/20/2008 7:12:19 PM
In our own minds we do know what we want and aren't afraid to say so. But as far as men go, most do prefer those younger with less experience. For the most part the younger ones tend to believe everything some guys try to feed them. It's the older and more experienced women that aren't going to put up with their crap. Guys know this. All you have to do is check out dating sites and see what men are looking for. I see a LOT of men's profiles who are in the 40's, 50's and even 60's and a LOT of them don't want women over 35. They know with women their own age or close to it are going to be wiser in a lot of ways. They'd rather have those that may be more gullible in the ways of life and the way some men act.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

7 Dates and Poof?? Posted: 2/20/2008 7:04:07 PM
Easy....he was after ONE thing and got it. There are guys out there who will do and say whatever it takes to get that one thing, even when it means hurting your feelings and knowing they're hurting you in the process. For these so-called "men", it's all a game and women are a conquest to win over, take what they can get from you and move on to the next as quickly as possible. Don't give him another chance to hurt you. He's already proven the type of person he is...a PLAYER!

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 633 (view)

Why do men ruin relationships with video games? Posted: 2/18/2008 1:00:59 PM
If you hold your man's interest less than a video game...then you might want to drastically change YOUR game. Or stop nagging. That response was beyond being immature! No woman in her right mind is going to compete with some video game. Expecting her to do so, then you don't deserve her attention anyway. You're not worth the effort if you think that.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 170 (view)

Any bbw hypocrites? Posted: 2/17/2008 9:49:28 AM
They got rejected for lying

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 601 (view)

Why do men ruin relationships with video games? Posted: 2/17/2008 9:47:00 AM
No I didn't get dumped by a man over video games. It's pretty sad if ANYBODY gets ignored due to someone's obsession over a video game or anything else. People need to get off their butts and and get their priorities straightened. If they have to ignore someone in their life such as a relationship partner, then end the relationship, it's that simple. If you can't deal with reality and have to escape by playing some game....WOW, what did people do before video games, how did they deal with life?????? Typical male response though, trying to put the blame onto women for their own misgivings. Remember that the next time your wives / girlfriends tell you no to sex, do your own laundry and fix your own meals. Enjoy your video games BOYS

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 168 (view)

Any bbw hypocrites? Posted: 2/17/2008 9:34:02 AM
I don't expect any less in looks in how a man is then my own self. Meaning if he's a little heavy and not perfect as I am, then fine. But he also has to be clean and take care of his overall appearence as I do as well. Being heavy is no excuse for being a slob. What I can't stand are the men who are heavy and think they're entitled to expect women to look like those who grace the pages of Victoria's Secrets and expect nothing less. Who are they kidding? If women were so judgemental towards men in such a way, they get called all sorts of nasty names. Yet when men do so, they say it's just being normal. It's double standards and it's just wrong. As far as some of these dating sites. I've seen guys profiles where they're looking for petite and slim women. Most guys don't post pictures of themselves and for good reason. They might put on their profile that their own body type is "average ", they haven't seen "average" in years and posting old pictures when they were far lighter. Then when upon meeting them in person you see someone you barely recognize because they're so heavy. The date ends quickly for the reason they were misleading and lied about their looks over the fact that they were heavy. For me honesty is a must and there's no room for error. If they lie about something like this you can bet there's even bigger lies lurking around.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 198 (view)

Ex wife is best friend but women see her as competiton Posted: 2/17/2008 9:12:40 AM
I dated a guy who said he was great friends with his ex and often went out with her because of the "kids"...ie family gatherings, picnics, school activities, etc... Turned out he was still very much married to her and no plans of divorcing.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 599 (view)

Why do men ruin relationships with video games? Posted: 2/17/2008 8:57:36 AM
Because they're NOT men. Obviously they're still selfish, immature little boys. If they're that involved with video games, let their mommies pick up after them.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 446 (view)

Sex in the woman mind after 40. Posted: 2/17/2008 8:52:00 AM
In my experience some women start out that way and then don't seem to care for sex.Believe me its frustrating because I really like and care about them.Don't like to say it this way but I feel cheated and lied to.But it kind of seems some people will do anything to get a relationship and then do nothing to keep it . Some people need to take a long look in the mirror to see where the problem with sex really is. The way some guys make themselves out to be so great and as great lovers. Then turn out to be anything but, talk about lies and being cheated and let down. I know there are plenty of women out there who hasn't heard some guy talking a good talk about how great they are in bed only to find out first hand just how bad the guy really is. Too many guys will lie just to get a woman into bed. And then turn around and think badly of her if she does so so soon. Afterall, if they think less of her then they should think less of themselves for doing the same thing. The typical double standed bull****. And what's with the Jekyl & Hyde syndrom. They are start out so nice in the first few weeks then turn into total jerks. Pretty hard to want to keep having sex with guys who turn into such jerks. Major turn off. Sex in the mind of women after 40....we know what we want and what we don't want and we don't put up with crap. Pretty simple

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 782 (view)

Tatoos on a women turn on or turn off Posted: 2/17/2008 8:37:08 AM
I think it depends on the type of tattoo. Obviously some people are just to narrow and closed minded. This is 2008, not 1898. Sound slike someone has been with prostitutes since he knows they have tattoos of all their sexual positions. Maybe he needs to be with a better class of women as NOT all women with tattoos are prostitutes or he just needs to stay on the farm rather then a once-a-year night on the town. This one person stated how he gets along with all people, if that were true then why is he bad mouthing women who have tattoos and calling them immature and prostitutes?

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Our Coffee Culture Posted: 1/21/2008 3:41:08 PM
I think it's just a social thing..."Let's meet for coffee". It's fine alternative to meeting for a drink at a bar and far less likely for somone taking leave of their senses after having too much to drink. Coffee is safer! But for me, I'm not a coffee drinker but I do like a good hot chocolate on a cold day Buying a coffee for someone is no different then buying them a drink at a bar. If someone buys me a drink and there's somewhat a connection, then I'll return the favor and buy them a drink.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

When would you give a second chance? Posted: 1/21/2008 3:33:06 PM
If it was just a matter of timing, then yes, I'd give it a second chance. Providing the timing is no longer an issue and it's clear sailing for the relationship to be given another chance. If there was prior decete and mistrust, then NO WAY. That only gives them a second chance to screw you over again.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Why so many poeple claim that EXes and crazy or bad? Posted: 1/21/2008 3:27:40 PM
As far as "crazy ex's"goes, if you talking about an ex spouse, consider how many times the person has been married. My ex was married twice befor me, he's now been divorced 3 times. Easy to see this guy doesn't have a good track record as far as marriages goes. Sure it's easy to blame the ex if they're they first one, but when you start racking up the divorces, it's time to take a LONG look in the mirror to where the blame lies. This is why I won't date any guy whose had more then one divorce and those guys who all say their ex's all cheated on them. And if they can't find anything nice to say about an ex.... afterall, there has to be something nice about them for you to date them, even if it's just one or two things about them. And yes, there truly is some real wackos out there we have to look out for.

Joined: 10/25/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Too young to be getting old Posted: 1/21/2008 3:13:05 PM
Just like an older version of the "tweens"....we're too young to be old and too old to be young. If you're single at this age is even tougher trying to find a place to fit in...and even tougher when you don't have kids. Seems most activities are family oriented and in my area the only "singles group activities" are religion based. I tried this once and most of what I heard throughout the group activity was being preached at and an attempt to make going to church a priority. I believe in GOD but I don't want it forced upon me. The clubs and bars are like what the OP said, either you feel as if you're babysitting in one place or you feel like you walked in on a high school reunion from the 50's. I guess at our age we're supposed to be staying home with a family with a weekly outing to get groceries. Being single/divorced I no longer fit in with my married friends and they don't have time for me anymore. There really does need to be something out there for singles our age.

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