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 Author Thread: I feel guilty dating while my exwife isn't.....
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I feel guilty dating while my exwife isn't.....
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:43:11 AM
I don't believe a word you're saying.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:02:11 AM
That's exactly my point. We can't be around each other 24/7, but in order to maintain our friendships (like any other relationship) you have to put something into it. Thanks so much for your input.

Interestingly, he sent me a joke over the internet this morning. No "how ya doing" or anything, just the joke. Guess, the proof is in the pudding?
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/16/2006 7:41:45 AM
Ya, I guess you're right....sick people in the hospital due tend to be needy. It would be so much better if they just died, then their phony friends could go on with their lives and not have to be bothered with their sick friends. You are so right. It's amazing. This thread has brought out two kinds of people....really terrific people who make wonderful friends and people who I wouldn't put out if they were standing next to me on fire. It's been quite the experience. I bet the jerks are from the U.S./Northeast.

So, if any of you jerks get sick and end up in the hospital, I hope you don't get upset when your superficial, uncaring, jackass friends don't bother with you. Of course, they told you they cared. But, please don't feel bad that they actually don't. They are just out having mimosas while you're lying there. And remember, Get Over It. It's awful because you're just NEEDY.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/16/2006 7:18:42 AM
Okay, so when your best friend stops talking to you overnight, make sure you leave it alone. Don't ask him or her for an explanation and certainly don't bother to even wonder why they are behaving that way. Just walk away. And don't you dare feel bad because someone like yourself might give you a rude response. Now remember, just leave them alone. You are so enlightened. Shame on me for feeling bad a friend walked away with no explantion.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
class
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:57:30 AM
I'd like it if a guy wouldn't tell my friend:

"I'D LIKE TO HIT THAT"

Ewwww, digusting pig.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:56:29 AM
Hmmm......

Don't cheat on me. Don't you cheat on me either. Seems if they "obeyed" each other we wouldn't have so many damned problems today. Besides, if I tell my fella to take his clothes off, I expect him to do it, IMMEDIATELY!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:21:13 AM
So are you on POF because your such a **** you can't get a date. He's a friend. I said he was with someone else to make it clear that there was no romantic interest. Um, did you graduate from high school or are you a natural born moron. I'm not chasing anyone. What an ***hole. Go back into the sewer you crawled out of.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Boring People
Posted: 11/15/2006 12:51:09 PM
Yes, I have dealt with it in the past. I once dated a surgeon. He was so dry and boring I wanted to kill myself with my steak knife right at the dinner table. The best thing to say is the truth. Simply say: "I like you very much but I am a very outgoing person and I like to talk alot. I'm sort of the life of the party. I'm concerned that we wouldn't be very compatable together as you are very quiet and shy." Simple as that. Wish her well. And, maybe you have a good looking friend who is also quiet that you could send her way, maybe they would make a nice match. Hard for us outgoing types to be with the introverts. Starts to feel like you're talking to yourself!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:12:17 AM
I guess he's not. How discouraging. I had such a horrible summer and am just recouperating now. I sincerely thought he wouldn't mind taking the reigns for a while. I guess I know now I cannot depend on him at all. Talk about a broken heart. Ouch.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
red flag signs when meeting the parents...
Posted: 11/15/2006 8:47:04 AM
Always judge a person by their parents. That's who raises them and that's who sets their values. Good and bad. It's not the only thing you use to judge but please don't dismiss it. If I had followed that rule, I would not have made the biggest mistake of my life!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/15/2006 8:40:32 AM
No one's that damned busy. Ring me up when your driving. I can't believe he's hasn't contacted me in a week. I ask him to do one damned thing in 2 years and the horses a*** can't do it. So, he's turned it into a game. He'll turn around and say, "Well I didn't hear from you." After I explicitly told him that I would like him to make contact for a while. I really want to just give him one.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
boyfriends family still talks to his ex.
Posted: 11/15/2006 8:30:56 AM
How does your boyfriend feel about all of this? Does it upset him that his familly doesn't seem to be treating you very nicely? You are carrying their grandchild. If his former g/f is posting things about you on MySpace she seems incredibly immature.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do the good die young?
Posted: 11/15/2006 5:30:52 AM
I believe that God needs new Angels and old people are too worn out to do the flying, he gives them desk jobs. Your son's friend is now sitting on his shoulder looking out for him.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:19:35 PM
Ruth it is sooo true. The people I've met on the net over the years are so much nicer than people who are close to me that I actually see often. If I had a pound (I think you are in the UK because you said "ring" lol I love that!) for every person that did the same thing to me (never asking how I was) I would be a rich woman! I think selfish is the new worldwide pandemic! The other strange thing here is that on November 1 it was my birthday. He made this big darned thing over the fact that I might be home spending the evening alone. He emailed me several times at work, and then he called me (rung me up!) in the evening and spent an hour on the phone. This whole thing is very confusing to me. I mean ya either luv me or ya don't!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:06:47 PM
Ruth, I think your advice is excellent and I'm doing just that. I wouldn't call him if I was on fire. He is selfish person. He has even told me that himself. Sometimes he's great and I guess this time he's not going to be. I tell you though, I hate people who make me cry.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/14/2006 11:59:24 AM
Well, we have been friends for the past 2 years and he has been involved all along. I don't think it is that. He doesn't get to see her that often because she is "involved." He is a busy person (as am I) but I take that into account. We used to talk everyday. Since I have stopped initiating, we have not spoken in a week. This is why I'm feeling down about it.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
He's Letting Me Down
Posted: 11/14/2006 11:48:48 AM
Is it too much to ask a friend to take the reigns of a friendship? I've always been the one that has been the driving force. I would initiate the calls, set up the times to get together. There's been a lot going on in my life and I just needed him to be the one to initiate contact for a while, and he hasn't and he's let me down. I once had deep feelings for him but now I just love him dearly as a friend. He's well aware of my situation and is just not stepping up. When I wrote and talked to him about it he said, "Stop that" and seemingly put the whole thing back in my lap. What's the deal? I feel like he doesn't care about me at all. Is he just lazy or does his ego need some constant gratification? He's involved with someone else so I don't think the whole "chasing" mentality thing would come into play. I'm really hurt over this and pretty surprised. Input appreciated.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
He is and she's not, she is but he's not.........hmmmmm
Posted: 11/14/2006 6:35:28 AM
It depends. Sometimes a non-romantic is just that. They don't have that "romantic" gene. There are some guys that are not romantic because they won't spend one miserable dime to do one miserable thing. No flowers, no nice gift for no reason, they won't even buy food to cook you a romantic dinner, not to mention they won't even tell you that you look nice or smell good or say anything nice. It really depends on the person. I know a guy that thinks giving you a glass of wine and putting on music means he's romantic. Ummm, NOT!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Love you More than a Friend but....
Posted: 11/14/2006 6:32:23 AM
Well, they are a little more involved than that. They travel together, she stays over at his house, etc. They talk and text constantly when she can't be with him. This pip has no problem walking out on her husband and her kid. She goes to my friend whenever she wants. I wonder sometimes if her husband knows and doesn't care or if he is just that stupid. I just don't see, on his part, how any of this can be "love". Maybe as a friend but I can't for the life of me see how he can put more into than that especially where there are other women involved.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/14/2006 5:45:42 AM
I say, "Gee, thanks for reminding me I'm here alone and ruining my evening, I hope you have fun tonite" and then I walk away. They end up feeling like total crap AND the next time I run into them at a wedding or a wake or something, they NEVER do it again. They also spread it around to the rest of the family. So, it worked nicely. It doesn't happen anymore. I hate when people do it though. They act like there is something wrong with you because you came to a function alone. Jerks.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Love you More than a Friend but....
Posted: 11/14/2006 5:39:56 AM
I love all these responses. LOL To boot, he sleeps with other woman as well. So much for the respect and caring thing. I think he will keep her around for as long as it is convenient and, of course, for as long as they don't get caught. I can't stand the fact that he is even involved in a cheating situation. This woman's husband is a really nice guy and she has a lovely daughter. He and I have gone a few rounds over it. He's lost his very best friend over it (he dated her for 5 years). I'm telling ya, this broad is a pip. She thinks this situation is "forever" and she thinks he is "in love" with her. I know when he tells her he loves her she thinks he means "in love". Guess she'd be disappointed to know he doesn't mean it that way. In some ways, I think they deserve each other, maybe that's why they like each other so much.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Love you More than a Friend but....
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:21:57 PM
Interesting. Personally, I love my friends. It's a close bond, you go above and beyond for them. I have a few male friends, however, I am not in love with them. These two have been together for two years in a physical relationship, she is married. I just thought it was very funny when my friend said this to me about her. It made me want to ask him "why are risking so much for someone you are not in love with." He gave me this answer because I asked him if he was. There has been some trouble brewing over the situation, so I was curious as to how serious he was about her. So, the statement ended up just sounding ridiculous to me. After two years, you're either in love, or you're not.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Love you More than a Friend but....
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:03:12 PM
IT'S NOT ME!!! A friend of mine is saying it about someone else. Please note the quotation marks. Thanks.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
when kids have to come first.
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:00:13 PM
After one date he goes home and tells his 13 yo daughter (that according to you is having a difficult time) about you??? Okay, first of all, this guy is a loser. Run do not walk. Anyone that would do that is a complete moron. He needs a check up from the neck up. Why is he sharing is personal life with a 13 year old???

If you decide, mistakenly, to stay with this idiot, I really feel you should stay away from his children for at least 6 months or more. You have no idea (and neither does he) whether this relationship will even work out--do not bring innocent, impressionable children into it. They have enough to deal with without you.

sheesh...
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Love you More than a Friend but....
Posted: 11/13/2006 11:51:28 AM
"I love her more than a friend but I'm not in love with her." This sounds like the biggest bunch of crap I've ever heard. I don't even know what it means really. More than a friend? Well what the hell is that??? What? An in between? Anyone care to comment? It irritates me but at the same time it cracks me up. To me, it just sounds ridiculous.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Just curious why I never get any message
Posted: 11/13/2006 11:44:56 AM
Hi Joe: You have a nice profile. Although I live in Boston and certainly don't live close by, I did attempt to drop you a line but I see that you only accept mail from folks within a 75 mile range. But, I did want to send out a big HELLO!!! I take it that picture of you was taken in the board room of your office maybe?? Nice!

Best wishes Joe, and good luck in your search!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Dating a Transplant Survivor
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:09:08 AM
Kudos to Prpone and Tinydancer on your successful recoveries! What a wonderful testimony to today's modern science and also to your collective wills to survive. I worked for a kidney transplant surgeon for many years and worked closely with our liver transplant guy in the next office. You are both special people.

Anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives. I wish you both all the best in your futures and Happy Holidays!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating a Transplant Survivor
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:08:50 AM
Kudos to Prpone and Tinydancer on your successful recoveries! What a wonderful testimony to today's modern science and also to your collective wills to survive. I worked for a kidney transplant surgeon for many years and worked closely with our liver transplant guy in the next office. You are both special people.

Anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives. I wish you both all the best in your futures and Happy Holidays!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU????
Posted: 11/10/2006 10:22:31 AM
Great Thread! My question is: When a guy says he "loves her more than a friend, but I'm not in love with her", what the hell does that mean? I have never even heard that analogy in my life. You either love someone or you don't. "More than a friend", I just don't get that I guess.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
NEED SOME ADVICE GUYS!!!!!! BEST FRIENDS GETTING MARRIED!
Posted: 11/10/2006 5:51:10 AM
Do any of your other male friends know about this? If they do, maybe you can approach her together. Alternatively, if she has a best friend that you know, and that you trust, maybe you can speak with her and you both can approach her.

If this guy is that bad, he's going to ruin her life. And, for those people out there telling him not to tell him because she's in denial, etc. Imagine how worse it will be once she has two kids and she comes home and finds him banging someone else in their bed.

RAT HIM OUT. Why would you even want this dude for a friend. You should dump him too, he sounds like a real assho**
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
a promise of sex broken
Posted: 11/10/2006 5:42:21 AM
I'm still trying to get over the guy that said he doesn't like blowjobs. I don't know where he hails from but my God that's UnAmerican!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What can I do to help?
Posted: 11/10/2006 5:30:34 AM
Dear sola:

The one thing I find strange here is that he "let" her take his son to a different state. Does his wife have sole physical custody? Does he pay court ordered support? What is the arrangement? I'm not sure about CT law, but here in MA, if there is joint custody the wife cannot take off with the child. It's a felony. The only time here in MA that can happen is if the husband signs off granting permission and giving up his rights. He will still need to pay child support, but he gives up his rights to visitation, et. al.

If CT has the same law as MA, then I find his character questionable that he would just give up his child like that. If I were you, I'd see what I could find out. I agree with the previous poster who said that "something is not right." Sounds fishy to me as well.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/8/2006 9:52:08 AM
Maybe where some are getting hung up here is this: It depends on what your definition of "paycheck to paycheck" is.

Here is the Boston and Metro areas, when we talk about paycheck to paycheck, we are talking about impending disaster. It means, here, no savings, a mound of debt and a pretty mediocre job. Most of the people I know are definetely way above the level of the job they are working but with things the way they are in Massachusetts, it's nearly impossible to land that really decent paying job.

If I lost my job, I'd be screwed. Car would be repo'd, couldn't pay rent, etc. That's paycheck to paycheck.

People that have money to save, are really not living paycheck to paycheck. Those of us who truly are, cannot afford to put money in the bank, we need it to pay bills. If you have $10,000 in the bank, at least you won't lose the roof over your head or your car while you find another job.

I myself have a lot of ambition and have been looking for a higher paying job for 6 months. I'm hoping to land one. In the meantime, I try to avoid disaster. I work two jobs sometimes, but it's really hard to make ends meet.

I wouldn't be with someone else who was having such a hard time. I think it would just be a very stressful situation.

But, I think all of those who are struggling at the moment, I think their ambition and determination will pay off! I hope it is sooner rather than later for all in this position.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
New Twist on BWB
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:33:04 AM
Sometimes we certainly act like we are, and boy do I wish that were true! But no, we're just friends.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Loving a man who loves another
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:21:40 AM
Dear Onlyme:

This hit home with me, because I am in the exact same situation. Mine does have a different spin on because he's in love with a married woman. So, maybe in some way he and I are in the same boat.

I too have told him how I feel and I know that he does not feel the same. I have not been able to let go. I get to about 2 weeks of not seeing him or not calling and he ends up writing to me or calling me saying he hasn't heard from me.

I guess what I would say is this. Maybe one day you'll be ready to let go. You'll just feel it. Always keep your eyes opened. There's always enjoying a coffee with someone, doesn't mean you have to marry them.

Maybe, over time, it will sink in that there is no future and that will be the day to let him go. I too am waiting for that day to come.

Sometimes we have to let friends do what makes them happy (even being with a married woman/man). We love them and we want the best for them. Sometimes that means it breaks our hearts, but to let them be happy and have a happy life does count for something. So, don't beat yourself up too much, we all have our feelings and unfortunately, we can't always control them.

I wish you all the best.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
New Twist on BWB
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:04:24 AM
Dearest Frau Blucher:

I liked your response. I guess, in my mind, I thought Friends with Benefits or BWB was more like a wham bam thank you mam thing. I guess it never occurred to me that the other stuff could be deemed as FWB. I think to a certain extent you may be right, perhaps we are both commitment phobic.

I have also taken into account that at one time he had pursued me in a romantic way (2 years ago) but I managed to screw it up and then it seemed to turn into this. Over the two years we've had some terrible rows, and even went through a short period when we didn't speak to each other, but we always seem to end up back together.

Sometimes, I just think the whole thing is wierd. Humorous, but wierd.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
New Twist on BWB
Posted: 11/7/2006 8:35:53 AM
Actually, it's my arrangement with him. I asked him if he would consider it. I don't want a full time partner and I really don't have many male friends. I've known him for a while and trust him as far as feeling safe and knowing I'm not meeting some freak in a bar or otherwise. I'm actually kind of scared of that thing. I kind of laugh, all I can say is, the only person he actually loves is himself. He's a nice guy and all, but even the woman he's with (who's married) knows he's not the "faithful" type. He's more the "variety is the spice of life" kinda of guy. It's all safe, so I think that's why I don't even consider her in the equation. He's a nice romp, if ya know what I mean. I have self-respect, I just don't want a man around buggin' me. I like to live my own life and make my own rules. He's an alternative to a LTR.

I just asked because from what I have been told the usual FWB doesn't really include all the hoopla he goes through. It's usually pretty basic and there's no overnight stuff and certainly no "let's sit out on the deck stuff." And, all the phone calling, flirting, etc., just seems like more than FWB. I don't flirt with my male friends, I call them to move stuff and provide a pizza and a beer. That's about it! As stated, I was just curious and thought maybe the guys would have a better feel for the issue. It's nice to get a male perspective.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
New Twist on BWB
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:01:13 AM
Hi Guys: I'd like to pose a question: If you supposedly have a BWB situation, do you spend an extended period of time with that person? I.E. having them over, sitting and talking for hours, drinking wine, listening to music, then the F*** part and spending the night. The man the next morning fixes coffee and then you sit out on the deck with them and read the morning paper? This "arrangement" is going on two years. Also we live pretty far apart, so it's hardly convenient for me, but I actually like being at his house that is big compared to my studio apartment anyways, so that's not really an issue.

This doesn't sound like the typical BWB situation to me, but I wanted a man's take on it. Seems a little too involved for BWB actually. We also email almost every day and we do text and call each other occasionally.

He is involved with another woman and supposedly "loves her more than a friend, but not in love with her."

Just wanted your expert opinions.

Thanks!

 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 112 (view)
 
would you still love him if...
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:00:35 AM
The love of my life is considered very small. He's about 5'2. Even if he started out tall and ended up small, I'd still love him. Every time I see him, I just want to pick him up and squeeze him!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 184 (view)
 
CREDIT CHECK!!!
Posted: 11/3/2006 9:38:00 AM
Thanks Mom! I'm 104 and know how to handle my affairs. I think you have too much time on your hands. People on here are not stupid, I'm pretty sure they can figure things out. Would you mind telling us your credit score. I don't like people giving advice if their credit score isn't over 700. Thanks!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 174 (view)
 
Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 8:11:59 AM
Believe me Saint I have no idea what to do. I know I cry a lot. I know when I see him wit that that "thing" I wish a lightening bolt would strike me. Other than that, I just figure, not everyone was meant to have someone. Fighting it (at least for me) only makes it worse.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 171 (view)
 
Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 5:42:57 AM
Hi White: I'm with you. I come to read the forums. No pictures, no profile really. I met the man of my dreams 2 years ago. I was (and to some degree still am) mad about him. We saw each other "romantically" for a couple of months and then, he decided, that "he changed his mind." Needless to say, that was it for me. He and I remain friends and I get to watch him waltz around with a married chick. Committmentphobe I guess. Guess he thought that was better than me. So, that did me in. I'll never put myself through that again. Why go out with someone else who your going to end up short changing because someone else was "the one." Hand me the clicker, something's gotta be on!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 150 (view)
 
how do you get revenge on someone you loved
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:17:33 AM
Lori Girl, do whatever you please! The way you get ultimate revenge is this: You must find his most vulnerable spot. The thing he loves most in this life. And then, and only then, you go after that which he treasures. If you hurt something he loves and values, believe me you will have avenged your cause.

And believe me, you'll still be able to walk with your head up.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:29:50 AM
Wow. As a person with Bi Polar Disorder some of your medical opinions are completely incorrect. We do not have inappropriate affect. You may be talking about Borderline Personality Disorder, but no Bipolar.

Unmedicated bipolars can suffer from severe mood swings. They are not "happy" they are about 100 floors above happy and are "manic". During these time, they will spend money they don't have, take a lot of risks, sleep very little, up for 4 to 5 days at a time, they are the life of the party. When the manic episode ends sometimes 2 weeks to 8 weeks, they crash into a drepression. The rarely will get out of bed, they are unable to work and they won't socialize with anyone. This can last 3 to 4 weeks without medication. They never have a midline norm.

One a Bipolar is medicated (usually with antipsychotic/anti-seizure drugs) the symptoms disappear fairly quickly and the person goes to even or midline, sometimes a little below in which an antidpressent would be added to their meds. Sometimes it can take months for meds to get to the levels they need to.

Any bipolar that consistently stays on their meds every day are extremely unlikely of having manic episodes every again. Also we are taught Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help us know if we could be heading for problems and how to cut them off at the pass.

Most bipolars don't share the information with anyone and no one knows the difference.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
When Mom needs to be OUT of your life!!!
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:11:28 AM
Some parents are more toxic than others. There are times, absolutely, that they must be removed from you life, never to return.

Sounds like you have a lot going for you and that you're beyond the age of needing a "mommy". I say get on with your life, fill it with joy and friend and the good pieces of your family that may remain, and never look back!

Good for You!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Would you have a relationship with a guy who's living paycheck by paycheck?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:03:21 AM
Hi. What does he do with his free time. Obviously, he's not looking for a job or cleaning his house. I hope your not giving him money. What is his immigration status? Was it a travel visa, 6 mo temp or what?
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Warning Rant Contained herein
Posted: 11/1/2006 12:15:07 PM
Hi Fire: I loved your post. I could not have put it better myself. Your post made me laugh too. You are right, sometimes we just get fed up with all the garbage our own friends can put us through over relationships. I have a friend who, no matter what, she finds something wrong with the guy after a month. Then, she'll go out with some dirtbag and wonder why he's hurt her feelings. I'm telling ya, it's driven me to drink at times.

I've been in a mood myself over relationships. Maybe it's the time of year or maybe it's just because I'm another year older. I used to be one of those girls who only dated the pretty boy types. Had to be 6 feet tall, great shape, nice hair, bla bla bla. I found out when I turned 30 that I had wasted 10 years trying to land one of those guys. As I became older I lightend up and put more emphasis on personality. Recently I was involved with a guy who is 5 foot 2. At first I thought he was fantastic. He ended up being one of the biggest sociopathic narcissistic people I've ever come across in my life.

So, I'm hiding out. I shut the doors and close the shutters and watch old movies. I come on POF to read the Forums and to see how many other folks are having such a horrible go of it out here. I used to have a different screen name and I had a picture up. I got so sick of married men emailing me and guys wanting to have cybersex. That was it for me, I took it down.

So, here's to RANTS, they can be a great thing. Especially for me! I quit smoking last night at 10:30 p.m. and I'm just in the mood!
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Married Relationships Outside of your Partner
Posted: 11/1/2006 11:08:54 AM
Guys and women like you kill me. A male friend of mine is currently invovled with a married woman who is now on her second affair. They both make me sick. The first affair lasted 5 years, this one is on year 2. Now, he is using her because she is totally convenient and he is the ultimate commitmentphobe. She is a Stepford wife who refuses to work (though they are having financial problems), needs to have her little boy toy because she is in such a horrible marraige. Ya, right. They have a 10 year old daughter. That means she's been having affairs 7 out the 10 years of their marriage. Of course, their could be more, but I don't know. The father (who is clueless about little missy's behavior--and is a very nice guy) is constantly having to mind the child so his wife can go out with her friends, meet my friend for nookie, go all over the world, and every other stupid thing she does. But, of course, he's a horrible father and husband.

Now, we have an obvious Harvard graduate like yourself asking us what the status of the person you are going to bang should be??? Your profile makes you sound ridiculous. I don't care how "vanilla" your marriage is. SUCK IT UP. You picked her, you married, you had kids with her. GROW UP.

I suppose we should feel sorry for you eh? Poor thing, his wife is a bore, she won't swing from a trapeze off the ceiling for him...god forbid.

Just another reason to hate on men. I hate doing that, but there are sooooo many out there like you poster but in all fairness, there are also like you too.
 myremains
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Can any of us LIVE ALL OUR LIFE without finding TRUE LOVE?
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:43:30 AM
I'm livin' proof doll. There is NOT someone for everyone. For me, now that I'm accepting it, it's a little easier to bear. I also avoid couples loaded events and weddings. Only makes it worse.
 
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